Archive of Our Own

New Rochelle, late afternoon 

Set one. 

K. Bokuto: 0 - 0

T. Kuroo: 0 - 0

Kei Bokuto sits between two sides of a tennis net at the front of the bleachers. The 32 year old, former tennis player, is watching the two competitors intensely like it were a life or death battle. 

Tetsurou Kuroo, 33, scrappy, ranked 271 in the world, looks beaten down by the sport too many times. No sponsorship deals, wearing mismatched clothes from different companies, stands across the biggest star in U.S. men’s tennis. 

Koutarou Bokuto, 33, is the exact opposite. He’s a shining star, best in his generation, and his surprising presence is the only reason anyone in the area bothered to show up to such a rinky dink tournament. He’s wearing only glistening name brand apparel. 

They are at the Phil’s Tire Town challenger, the lowest level of tournament on the men’s tour. 

There are banners advertising the event on every surface, a vendor in the parking lot is selling merch with Koutarou’s face. It’s hot, sun beating down on the court. For the first time this event is being recorded by ESPN and the local news. It seems everyone is tuned in for the final showdown of the challenger, anticipating if this no name can beat Koutarou Bokuto, who hasn’t been fairing too well lately. 

His reputation and ego are at stake. However, for Tetsurou, he only stands to gain. 80 ranking points and a much needed $7000 check. But, between the three, there seems to be something much deeper than tennis riding on this match. 

“First serve, Bokuto” the umpire speaks into the intercom. 

Bokuto gets ready to serve, placing the tennis ball perfectly in the hole of the neck of the racket. 

Thwaacck!

He tosses and Tetsurou returns it perfectly, starting off the opening match of the game and allowing the two players to feel out each other. 

The ball flies out of bounds 

“Out!” The line judge declares 

“Fifteen, love”

They resume position, Koutarou sends another hard set 

“Out!” Again. 

“Second service”

This time, Koutarou hits it softer and Tetsurou pounces, returning it to where Koutarou can’t get to it. 

“Fifteen all”

Kei’s head turns between the two players, Koutarou’s husband and head coach. Tetsurou runs to catch Koutarou’s drop shot and rips it cross court, winning the point. 

“Let’s go!!” He shouts 

He turns and stares at Kei who shares his intense gaze until he feels Koutarou’s eyes on them. “Fifteen thirty” the umpire interrupts the moment, Koutarou’s eyes linger as he goes to serve, hitting it hard as if he were going to send it at Kei for a second. 

One week earlier

An alarm clock blares, reading 5:30. The light is barely visible outside, the bedroom grey as the world wakes up.  

Koutarou turns it off and adjusts himself in his hotel bed, laying shirtless and in his boxers. He can see Kei already up and applying lotion to  his bare body. Kei looks into the mirror as he rubs lotion over his long legs, fingers lingering on the vertical scar over his knee. 

He finishes and walks into the bedroom wrapping his robe around his lean frame, Koutarou watching this silently. Kei looks over at his husband, “let’s go” he says softly. 

Koutarou groans and gets out of bed, wishing to just grab Kei and force him to cuddle for a few hours. But Kei keeps his star in a tight schedule, a carefully ordained  routine to keep him in tip top shape. Without him, Koutarou might’ve already hung it up.

In the kitchen Yukie Shirofuko, Koutarou’s personal nutritionist labels bottles of colored liquids with names such as “set 2”, “pre-warm up”, and hands Koutarou one labeled “morning.”

He takes the green mixture, sips from it, and grimaces. Yukie grins “taste better than it looks”, which he finds to be a very untrue statement.  

Kei sits at the coffee table, eating from a bowl of fruits, although they’re mostly and favorly strawberries. The TV is on, covering Koutarou’s first match opponent. His stats are on screen with almost every accomplishment available, however his opponents are empty. He grimances again at the visual. Kei sits, studying pamphlets for their foundation. 

“Let’s look at todays matchup” the commenter shows his opponent, a skinny 18 year old. It’s almost unfair.

 “you gotta feel bad for the kid” the commenter states “Koutarou looks a little shaky after his operation last season, but he’s certainly not someone you’d like to see across from you at the first qualifier.”

Koutarou mutes the tv, earning a look from Kei. 

A little later his personal physical trainer Hajime Iwaizumi is over Koutarou who lays on his back. He pushes his knee to his chest, places his hand on his chest. “Breathe” he tells him, Koutarou breathes in as he’s told. 

This has been his life ever since he asked Kei to be his coach. He knows it’s thanks to him he’s able to have such an impressive career, but sometimes he feels like a trophy, polished by an obsessive owner. 

Qualifier hallway 

Koutarou walks beside Kei and his team, sporting his gear. His opponent comes down the hallway with his own and glances at him, in turn Koutarou stares him down until he passes. The poor boy shivers and whispers to his coach “he’s going to pummel me.”

Locker Room - late afternoon 

Kei and Koutarou sit in in silence, Koutarou chewing his gum obnoxiously as he looks out the window and then over at the framed pictures on the wall, one of him but much younger, holding up a trophy.  He looked happy, alive, back when it was all for fun. His eyes shine and his smile is big and beaming, back when he had… 

A knock at the door

“Come in” Kei says 

“They’re ready for you” a woman in a headset smiles brightly and closes the door quickly behind her. 

They stand up and face each other. Kei holds his face in his hands “ready?” Koutarou nods. 

“Decimate that little bitch” Kei looks into his eyes. It feels like more of an order than reassurance. Koutarou forms a small smile and nods again, Kei kisses it. Then, he sticks his hand out and Koutarou spits out his gum before they leave the room. 

Hotel room - after the match 

Kei and Koutarou watch the recording of Koutarou getting properly crushed. It’s so embarrassing there’s almost no words. 

Footage shows Koutarou throwing his racket to the ground, and Kei pauses it.  

“He played really well” Koutarou comments, an effort to lighten the mood. 

Kei looks over at him “yeah, and every other guy you’ve played against the past few months.”

Koutarou scoffs and goes to say something but he’s cut off 

“We’re pulling you out of the open.”

“Baby..”

“No, if this isn’t going to be your year why bother? We should just spare the embarrassment.”

“I’m just rusty! It’s a confidence thing.”

“Then get your fucking confidence back, I can’t do it for you.”

“No one’s asking you to” he sighs. 

“You are when you’re playing like this. I would’ve killed to have a recovery like you, like actually. A child, or an old woman.” Kei sits back and crosses his arms, his foot jutting as it lays on top of his other leg. He stares at the frozen frame of a very disgruntled Koutarou. 

Koutarou cant help but grin at Kei’s grim humor. 

“Kou, seriously. Do you want to just be rich people, travel, work the foundation full time. Or do you want to be a tennis player? I need you to be honest.” They both know that’s not a possibility. 

“I’m going to be a tennis player” Koutarou declares, wanting to comfort Kei, holding out his hand. He knows he’s worried about him. 

Kei looks at it and takes it, scooching closer to him. Koutarou smiles and wraps an arm around him, kissing his blonde curls. His other hand cascades up his leg, his lips moving to his husband's neck. 

Kei pulls out his phone 

“What are you doing?”

“Finding you another match before the open, you need the time.”

“That’s not gonna be possible” Koutarou whines. Like anything was impossible when Kei was determined enough. The world was at his disposal, out of admiration.. or fear. 

“How about…this?” He turns the phone 

“That’s a challenger..” he looks at him to see he’s actually serious about this. 

“I haven’t played one of those in like, fifteen years” he exhales heavily like a child.

“Great, it’ll be even more embarrassing if you lose in the first round.”

“Keiiiii”

“Koutarou Bokuto, the savior of men’s tennis, knocked out in.. Phil’s Tire Town challenger one week before the U.S open” Kei carries on playfully. 

“You’re so evil” Koutarou grins. Kei gets up and bokuto bites his hand while he’s still got it in his. 

“I’m gonna call and get you in the draw as a wild card.”

“Hey.”

Kei turns back

“I love you” Koutarou states dreamily, admiring his analytical, intelligent, and absolutely sexy husband. 

“I know” Kei smirks and walks away. Koutarou leans back into the couch and breathes heavily. They were really doing it, Kei was really putting him through this. But everything Kei did was for the best for him, he knew that, he was just.. 

Roadside motel - New Rochelle -  a few days later  

Tetsurou leans against the counter of the shitty motel, watching the card reader spit out paper. He sighs and runs his hands through his disheveled hair. 

His card declined, time to turn on the charisma. He was always told he could talk his way out of everything. This woman however, doesn’t look so impressed. 

“Hey, Jeannette.” He emphasizes the name on her nametag “listen.. could I pay tomorrow, I’ve been driving all day and I’m exhausted-“

The older woman laughs “if we gave a room out to every tired person, we’d be a homeless shelter! Not a buisness.” 

He chuckles in exasperation, still feigning a friendly smile because he refuses to accept defeat yet. 

“Look, I’m a tennis player” he holds up his racket “you know the tournament down the road, I’m in it.”

“Oh yeah- the um, country club thing” she holds up a pamphlet advertised on the reception desk. 

“Yes exactly! I’m a professional player”

“Really?” She doesn’t look convinced. He grins 

“You get 7000 if you win, and money just for qualifying. I just need a place to rest before tomorrow.”

“And I need a card that works.”

“What- what if I sign a racket and give it to you-“

“Sir, I don’t know who you are.”

“I told you- I’m” he looks like this is the saddest interaction he’s ever had. He sighs and leans in with a big grin, whispering “the racket alone costs like… three hundred.”

“We need a card - for incidentals.”

“Incidentals? Look around, this isn’t the fucking Ritz!”

She glares at him, obviously over this. “If you don’t have a card, there’s nothing more I have to say to you” she nods towards the door. 

Tetsurou scoffs and grabs his stuff, throwing the door open on the way out. Fuck this. 

He doesn’t have much of a choice. He climbs into his beaten up car and opens his phone to a saved number reading ‘Lana’.

> Hey! Hope you’re doing alright. I have a weird favor to askkk, you still live near Winchester?

he taps the steering wheel in wait. It was late, but it was his last shot. He gets a text back shortly. 

> Uh I haven’t spoken to you in like five years. 

He sits up 

> Yeah I know! How you been?

> Fuck off tetsurou. 

He hangs his head against the wheel. He’s got no other option. He throws his old phone into the passenger seat and drives to the tournament parking lot. He parks, gets into the back and tries to get comfortable with his head on his tennis bag and his legs against the door. It’d have to do, not like it was the first time and it certainly wasn’t beneath him at this point. 

Morning 

A security guard jogs to the parked car, stopping when he sees a man laying in the back. He taps a few times. 

“Hey, you can’t sleep here”

Tetsurou wakes up groggily, not caring for this interaction at all. He points out the windshield “I’m in the tournament.”

“Oh.. okay. Um, you’re a bit early for check in” he says, not sure what to say,  and moves to walk off. 

Well, he’s up now. 

Tetsurou walks into the small office, an older building with wood paneling. There’s a table set up, and a woman comes over to him.

 “Hi there, name?”

“Tetsurou Kuroo”

She sits down and rubs her hands together “oh yes!” She points at the clipboard on the table, right next to a breakfast sandwhich and a cup of coffee. 

He can’t help but stare at it like an unfed stray, mouth salivating at the fast food bagel like it’s a thanksgiving spread. 

“Y’know, I remember you. I was a judge at the U.S open back in ‘06..” she goes on and he nods, barely listening. 

“Um-“ she stops mid into her ramble “are you hungry boy?”

He looks at her and smiles bashfully

“Here” she hands him half of it. 

“Thank you” he takes it and sits down, biting into it starviously. 

she smiles at him and he grins ear to ear

“Hey, do you think I could get an advance payment on the prize money?”

“Oh.”

“Just cause.. I know I’m guaranteed a minimum of 400 dollars even if I get knocked out today.”

“Well, generally, we don’t give out the winnings until the players makes his way through the tournament.” 

“Right. It’s just.. I had a problem with my card at the hotel and…”

“You could always lose today” she says, more as a joke than a real statement, smiling over her cup of coffee “than we’d have to cut your check today.”

He sits back, deflated, “right.”

“By the way, I heard a rumor we have a last minute wild card today.”

“Really, who?” He says with food in his mouth, more interested in the juicy frozen cooked sausage and the dry egg on top of it than anything else. 

“Guess.”

He sits back and looks around, before shrugging.  

She stands and walks over to some rackets on display, taking one and holding it up. On the cover next to the brand shows none other than Koutarou Bokuto. 

His face falls, still slowly chewing while he turns his head to stare at the wall thoughtfully. 

Still Phil’s Tire Town - late afternoon 

K. Bokuto: 1 - 40

T. Kuroo: 2 - 40

Back to the opening, Tetsurou is serving. 

He has a weird serve, raising the racket right behind his right behind his right ear before leaping up to his feet to sending it flying. 

It sours off and they rally, ending with Koutarou hitting an overhead smash winner. 

“Advantage, Bokuto”

Tetsurou resets 

Thwacckk!

“Out!”

“Second service” 

Tetsurou hits it softer and Koutarou steps up looking to demolish it, but ends up sending it into the net. 

“Fuck!”

The crowd gaps, having never heard this from the star. Kei looks at him, furious. 

“Unsportsmanlike conduct. Verbal obscenity. Warning, Bokuto.”

Koutarou doesn’t even acknowledge it

“Deuce”

Tetsurou sends a spinning serve and Koutarou manages to return it, but Tetsurou has set himself up so perfectly, he rips a forehand cross court and wins the point. 

Frustrated, Koutarou raises the racket like he aims to smash it into the ground, but he stops himself: he can’t afford the penalty. 

“Advantage, Kuroo”

The crowd is shocked, Koutarou never smashes rackets and Tetsurou smiles. He’s got him right where he wants him. 

Billie Jean National Tennis Center - mid afternoon 

Fifteen years earlier. U.S. Open Boy’s Double Final, 2006.

A big outdoor court seats a few dozen people. 

Koutarou and Tetsurou, both 17 respectively, are up 5 games to 2, 30 - 15 against two boys from the Czech Republic. It’s the best of three sets, so they’re one point away from match point. 

Tetsurou steps up to the line and goes to serve,

Koutarou near the net, crouches so it’ll go over his head. His hand behind his back flips him off playfully before sending a signal. 

Tetsurou grins and sets it powerfully. 

They have no doubt they can crush these dudes together. 

And they do, when Tetsurou chases after a lob and manages to send it back between his legs and sends it ripping down the edge line. 

They smile and the two boys look at each other despondently. 

“Fourty fifteen”

Match point. 

They look over at their coach, 50’s, who turns his hand into a fist. 

“Yeah fire and ice!” Someone in the crowd yells. 

Tetsurou goes to serve, Koutarou crouches 

Thwacccckkk!

It’s an ace. 

“Game, set, and match, Kuroo and Bokuto. Two sets to one, six-one, seven-six, six-two.”

They shout and jump up and down like animals, not caring for the judging looks from the other two. They fall to the ground in each others arms, Tetsurou plants a fat kiss on Koutarou’s forehead like a man in love. 

They are the U.S. Boy’s Doubles Champions, and best friends. 

After giving handshakes to the other boys who surprisingly take the loss like champs, they stand on the court with their trophies. 

They turn back to back and kiss the lip of the trophy cup, before facing each other and pressing their trophies together. The two boys share eye contact as they kiss it once again. To them, they’re the only two on the court. They’re teenagers, in their prime, 

And most importantly, together. It’d always been that way, the two of them, and they’re undefeatable that way too. 

Food Court — a little later 

“Can you do me a favor?” Koutarou asks. They’re both sporting $1.50 hot dogs loaded in condiments and large cups from concessions. 

“Dude, that looks gross!” Tetsurou says looking at his hot dog and laughing. It’s full of chilli, mustard, ketchup, practically spilling onto the ground. Bokuto grins with his cheeks full.

“Hey, I’m a growing boy!” He flexes his huge biceps “but seriously” Koutarou pats his side.  

“Yeah what?” Tetsurou pulls back the wrapper and bites into his own much milderly decorated  hot dog. 

“Can you not- demolish me tomorrow.”

“Shut the fuck uppp”

“Bro, look, I’m at peace with the fact you’re going to win.”

“It’s not a fact”

“Like- statistically it is, you’re amazing!”

“What the fuck do you know about statistics?” He asks quizzically. 

“I’m just saying! Throw me a few, maybe a set.”

“If it matters so much, I can just give it to you.”

“Wow? Really? Thank you!”

“I mean every once in a while a kid who wins the junior turns out to be a great player, but most of them fall off the map or end up in like, the top 300. It’s a curse.”

“You seemed excited about winning the doubles trophy”

“But yeah that’s different- that’s you and me. That was just really fun.”

“Well, I’ll take it. But if you’re going to beat me, you need to actually play, not just retire. It needs to look like I actually beat you.”

“Do you have money on this- or something?”

“No, my grandmas just gonna be watching it with the whole nursing home and she keeps telling me how proud she is of me.”

“Do not guilt me with your dying grandma!”

“She’s not dying! She’s just old.”

they walk over to the next game and sit down. 

From the sound system “now entering the court, hailing from Russia, boys single number 4 in the world, Vladimir Petrovska!”

The crowd claps politely, and the two boys watch a serious looking boy walk out without smiling or looking at the crowd. 

“Yeeesh”

“For real, he’s like a bond villian.”

“You know Kei Tsukishima is here? and he’s already got a Nike deal.” Tetsurou states 

“What? How?”

“He’s probably going pro soon, I watched him at the junior Australian open, he’s probably going to win the real thing tomorrow.”

“Is he really that good?”

“Bro, he’s in another league. He’s beautiful.”

“You mean, his game?”

“No, I mean he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

Koutarou pouts

“Besides you bro.”

“It’s okay, Tetsurou’s got himself a crush!” Koutarou throws an arm around his best friend. 

“Shut up, I’m way too much of a loser for him.”

“Don’t downplay yourself man, you’re a real package.”

“Yeah, but I’m a package deal”

“You saying I’m ruining your game?”

“I would never” Tetsurou winks. 

The announcer comes to life again “and now entering, the boys single number 1, and winner of the Junior Australian Open.. Kei Tsukishima!”

They watch as 16 year old Kei tsukishima walks out wearing the sleekest Nike 2006 gear. He’s got legs like a supermodel, and looks like a brutal force of nature. Needless to say, they’re both stunned silent, along with the crowd. 

He walks over to the sidelines and takes out his racket, testing it

“Fuck” Koutarou exclaims 

The match 

To say Kei was absolutely smoking the other guy was an understatement, he made him look like a toddler. 

Kei’s game has all the discipline of Tetsurou’s and all the wild improvisation and raw athleticism as Koutarou’s: fire and ice in one player. 

As Vladimir has a meltdown, cursing, smashing his racket. Kei looks neutral and effortlessly taking off from the ground. 

The two boys could have boners right now. 

Party — Tsukishima residence — that night

Tetsurou and Koutarou stand in front of banners showing the young athletes face. The yard is filled with people under warm string lights. It’s lively, not looking like much of something Kei would enjoy, but what do they know?

Tetsurou comes over to Koutarou’s side, a bottle of cola against his lips. “A brand deal, a foundation, taking at risk boys from the streets to the court. He’s like Oprah.”

“Don’t make fun of him man you know we’d both kill for that.”

“I know I know, I’m not-“

“Why are we even here, don’t you have a girlfriend. Jen. And we have finals tomorrow.”

“I told you we’re not serious like that. Don’t act like you don’t want to see him too, besides, you’re gonna flunk anyway.” 

Koutarou looks over pouty before shrugging at that. He was right.

Suddenly Kei makes an appearance, looking royal in his simple cream button up and jeans. He’s replaced his glasses with contacts and his hair is golden under the light. 

Tetsurou leans in “i’d let him fuck me with a racket.”

Koutarou smirks. 

“Let’s get his attention!” Koutarou says suddenly and before Tetsurou can say anything he calls out. 

“Hey Tsukidude! Where’s your glasses?”

Kei looks over at him now, glaring. They both shiver excitedly as he approaches them. 

Tetsurou wants to comment on how Koutarou has already gotten him pissed off, but he looks really cute when with such an angry face. 

“Excuse me? What did you call me?”

Bokuto chuckles sheepishly “sorry about that. I’m Koutarou and this is-“

“I know who you are.” Kei cuts him off, his eyes turning rounder now but still not impressed. “Fire and ice right?”

“You know us!?” Koutarou looks shocked  

“Yeah, I’ve seen you.”

“What an honor” Tetsurou smirks and Kei squints, crossing his arms. 

“So who’s who?”

“You’ll just have to figure it out” Tetsurou replies with a shrug. Kei doesn’t look like he cares much about them to do any of that.

“But seriously, you were incredible today. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” 

“Yeah it’s like it wasn’t even tennis! I feel bad for the other guy” Koutarou latches on.  

“Don’t. He’s a sore loser, and a racist bitch.”

Tetsurou smirks, god he loved this dude “note taken.”

“You going to Stanford right?” Kei says to Tetsurou. Koutarou looks forlorn, like he’s been left out all of a sudden. He knew Tetsurou was remarkable, though. 

“Yeah how’d you know?”

“I got accepted and they mentioned you.”

“I guess I’ll see you around then” Tetsurou quirks his brows, shamelessly flirting. Kei raises his own, but behind his unimpressed exterior there’s a hint of amusement in his amber eyes. 

“Are you going pro?” Koutarou chimes in 

“No, not yet anyway”

“Whaaaat?! Why not?” 

“Kei, sorry to interrupt. We need you for pictures” a guy who looks a lot like Kei says, suddenly there beside them.

Kei nods “That’s my brother. Well, I gotta go.” 

“Awe man”

“Well, see you at school?” 

Kei turns and looks at him, before turning back around and walking off. 

They both sit down, needing to decompress from all the dialogue they’d manage to get from the male. They went in there knowing they’d feel happy getting a single look from him. 

“Jesus, he’s even more intimidating up close.” Koutarou sighs “so cool.” 

“And hot too.”

They lean back, mutually agreeing on that. “Should we hang around? Maybe we can see him again-“

“No no- we’ll just look desperate” Tetsurou shakes his head. But he makes no effort to move, just watching Kei from afar as his brother hounds him about actually smiling for the camera. Koutarou looks at his very obvious friend and smiles. 

Party — later that night 

“Look, there he is!” Koutarou says as they see Kei coming down the hill. They both sit up quickly, Koutarou fixing his spikes. 

“Hey!” Tetsurou calls out this time. 

Kei stops and looks at them “oh, you again” he struts over with his arms across his chest “you’re still here.”

“It’s a nice party”

“Yeah well- you can thank my brother. He insisted.”

They both chuckle. “Hey, do you smoke?” Tetsurou asks suddenly, latching onto his possibly one chance before next year. 

He looks at them and says plainly “no.” He wants to say that’s a stupid thing to do for a wannabe pro athlete, but he doesn’t care enough to. He can leave the scolding to his teammate Daichi. “Do you?”

They both nod. “You should come down to the beach with us! It’ll be fun!” Declares Koutarou. Tetsurou nods at this like it’s the best idea in the world.

Kei looks away, thinking. He turns back to them “don’t you have finals tomorrow?” 

“Oh that?”

“We both know how that’ll end out” 

They say at the same time. Kei huffs and smirks, his first actual expression besides annoyance, and tilts his head “sure, why not.”

Beach 

“This place is enourmous” tetsurou comments 

“Almost as big as your folks place” 

Tetsurou nods at that. 

The duo sit on beach chairs, while Kei chooses to sit on a rock in front of them. He’s looking out at the ocean, the waves knocking gently against the shore, glistening from a light out on the pier. They both can’t help but stare, smitten. He’s beautiful, the breeze caressing through his curls and ruffling his shirt to expose his collarbones.

“So back to the not going pro thing, why Stanford?” Koutarou can’t help but ask. 

Kei looks down at his knee, running his fingers over a bruise. “There’s more to life than hitting a ball with a racket” he’s seen how that routes played for his brother. 

“It just seems like a waste, to play against boys who were the best at their high schools.” Koutarou keeps on, flicking ash into the sand. 

“You’re making us wait for you” Tetsurou chimes in poetically. He grins at the younger boy. Tsukishima shares his gaze, and lowers it back to his legs. 

“So.. when are you guys going pro?” 

“As soon as I can” Koutarou tells him. “Hitting a ball with a racket beats having a job.”

“Yeah? That’s because you think tennis as just a sport. That’s why you do so poorly in the second set.” 

“Ouch” tetsurou chuckles, sympathizing with his friend who makes a sour face. 

“Then what is it?” Koutarou asks, curious now

Kei is silent for a moment.

 “It’s a relationship” he recounts to them the same thing Akiteru had once told him as a kid. 

“Is that what you and Vladimir had?” Tetsurou inquiries 

“Yeah, for a second there, we were actually playing tennis.” Kei quirks his brows “like” he pulls his knees towards himself “we knew each other completely. Like we were in love… or like.. we didn’t exist?” He looks down at himself “we went somewhere different entirely together.”

The two boys watch him intensely, surprised by his sudden display of sentiment. They’re both so fascinated by the younger boy, they don’t even know what to say. 

Kei looks up, realizing himself. His face returns to its neutral state and he stands “I should get going before my brother comes looking for me. See you at school next year Tetsurou.”

“Are you on Facebook?” Bokuto rushes to ask

“What?” 

“He’s asking for your number” Tetsurou looks at him smugly “and I am too.”

Kei pauses, staring at them both. 

“You both want my number?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry, but I’m not a homewrecker.”

Koutarou looks confused “we don’t live together.”

Tetsurou waves his hand “it’s an open relationship.”

Koutarou looks over at him. Kei laughs. 

“I can’t give my number to the both of you, and I don’t want to choose one to mess with the vibe before the final tomorrow.” He’s not that cruel, kinda. 

“We’ll forgive you! Also Tetsurou has a girlfriend.”

“I do not!” 

Kei laughs again, he’s enjoying this very much. They both smile, feeling special to see it. He just just looks so cute.

“They’ve got us put up in a hotel, room 206. You should come by later” Tetsurou says boldly. 

There’s a short second of anticipation “I think I’m good” Kei rejects, before walking away. 

“We’ve got beer!” Koutarou yells after him.  

“Fuck.”

Hotel room 206 

It’s hot, sweltering, and the air conditioner is of course broken in the not quite impressive hotel. 

The windows open, trying to usher in any sense of a breeze, and there’s a shower cap put purposefully over the smoke alarm. 

Tetsurou sits in the old green armchair, cigarette between his lips, as he flicks playing cards found in the nightstand drawer into his trophy cup from earlier. 

Koutarou sits backwards on the bed, legs on the wall behind it and looking at his toenails. They’re both shirtless and in their boxer briefs, trying to beat the heat. 

Tetsurou slams the air conditioning unit 

“It’s broken” Koutarou states obviously 

“And he’s not coming.”

“He might!” Koutarou groans 

“And what would happen? He chooses one of us to makeout with while the other one hides in the bathroom.”

“Is that beneath us?”

“I think it’s beneath him.”

There’s a knock at the door. They turn to face each other, frozen in place. 

Another knock, and they jump to life. They both struggles to find their shirts, and Tetsurou jumps on the bed to fix the comforter. 

“Dude!” Koutarou stomps on ashes from the cigarette forgotten in the hassle. 

“The bed!” Tetsurou finally fixes it half-assedly and they take one glance into the mirror before heading to the door. 

When it opens, Kei has already pulled his ear away from the door and dropped his smirk. He stares at them expressionlessly. 

“You- you came!”

“I did.”

They’re sitting on the floor, passing a beer can around. Every sip, Kei grimances and they both smirk because he’s just so cute.

“So what, did you guys like go to mommy and me classes together?”

They both laugh 

“What, you seem like brothers.”

Koutarou gestures to his shirt “Well, that’s what the Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy will do for you!” He wears a proud smile. 

“Right. You went to boarding school.”

Tetsurou kicks his foot back and forth as he lays propped back on his hands. “Mm, we’ve been bunk mates since we were 12.”

“Cute.”

Koutarou blushes with embarrassment. 

“You ever thought about doing something like that?” He asks 

“Boarding school?”

“Mm.”

“No, there’s no way my parents would ever want me coming to age in an environment like that.”

“Huh.”

“Why not? What were they afraid of?” Tetsurou shakes his head in confusion. 

Kei looks silently between the two of them. 

“Right.”

The blonde laughs, cheeks rosy from the beer. 

“So, is that where you met your girlfriend?”

Tetsurou rolls his eyes “yeah yeah.”

“And you? Why are you pretending to not have a girlfriend?”

Koutarou has his arms crossed, his eyes widening. 

“Koutarou’s between ladies.”

“Oh, no, no! That makes it sound like I’m some sort of..”

“Player” Kei fills in the gap, amused. 

“Yeah!”

“Koutarou does fine for himself. I mean look at him” Tetsurou reaches out to ruffle Koutarou’s hair and Koutarou pulls away from his hand, smiling. 

“How often does this happen?” Kei pulls his knees to his chest, taking the beer from the occupied boys hands. 

“Uh..”

“Going after the same guy.”

“Not as often as you’d think actually” Tetsurou tilts his head.  

“Really?”

“We usually have different types.”

“Hmm. So you’re saying I should be flattered?”

“Well.. no.”

“Aren’t you everybody’s type?” Koutarou looks up at him bashfully and smiles behind his hand when Kei chuckles. 

“Not quite, I think I’m more of an acquired taste.” He shrugs “what about the two of you then?”

“What do you mean?” 

Kei looks between them silently once again. He really said a lot by saying nothing at all.  

“Oh! No.” Koutarou blushes and chuckles “I mean, Tetsu’s smoking hot and all. Wait- why, is that surprising?”

“Well..” Tetsurou looks off 

“No.”

“I mean..”

“Tetsu, no.”

Tetsurou chuckles “sorry.”

Kei sits up sharply “no I think you need to tell me now.”

“No!”

“It’s a sweet story!” Tetsurou urges 

“Uhhuh” Koutarou hides his face, defeated “well.. let’s hear it then.”

“Yeah no, go ahead.”

Kei and Tetsurou chuckle. 

“I taught Koutarou how to jerk off.”

Kei makes a shocked, but interested face. Koutarou moves his hands away and sits up, his face is red “okay! Tetsurou was an early bloomer okay?!  And I think I was on time. And one night.. when we were 12, he thought I was asleep and he was..”

He pauses 

“Jerking off” the two boys say at the same time. Tetsurou is smirking, totally loving his embarrassment but mostly unashamed on his own part. Not that he wasn’t also slightly blushing now. 

Koutarou waves his hand at Tetsurou “and yeah, I asked him, ‘what are you doing?’ And he said..” he pauses again. 

“He’s jerking off”

“Jerking off” Tetsurou also said at the same time, grinning like the little rat he was. 

“He asked me if I’d ever done it and I said no. And so he just.. showed me how..”

“What do you mean he showed you how?” Kei furrows his brows who’d been looking between them the whole time. 

“Well I mean he did it on his bed, I did it on my bed. We did it together! But like opposite sides  of the room…” 

“Yeah, mhm.”

“Silent?”

“Oh? No no”

“No, no. No we were talking about Alisa, weren’t we?”

“Tetsurou said it’s always better if you have someone in mind when you’re doing it. And so I asked him who he was thinking of, and he was thinking about this girl.”

“Alisa Haiba”

“.. so I thought about her too.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So who finished first?” Kei looks mostly disgusted but also very amused. 

“Oh I don’t remember” Koutarou shakes his head in an effort to be nonchalant. 

“I think you.”

Tetsurou grins while Koutarou looks at him silently before putting his head down. 

“And so, how was it afterwards?”

“I think Koutarou was a little surprised by the whole thing. He was just.. sitting covered in all of it.” He laughs 

“What?” 

“He looked like a kid who’d just spilt milk all over himself” he laughs louder now, rambunctiously, throwing his head back. Koutarou leans over and pushes his face.

“Dude! Jesus Tetsu!”

Kei laughs 

“I knew all ready to have a sock nearby” he tries to speak over his breathlessness. 

“Right.”

“Forgot to tell Koutarou about that part.” 

“Mhm.”

“Yeah so,”

“Yeah.” Koutarou sits back against the bed, a small moment of silence between them. He’s not sure what to say now that that was revealed. 

“And what about Ms. Haiba, whatever happened to her? You guys..”

“Neither of us..”

“She left a week later to start modeling.”

Kei clicks his tongue “yeah you’re right, that is a cute story. Gross but..”

“Thanks.”

Some music plays over the old radio

“Well, we’re out of beer.” Kei stands up, he walks away from them before stopping in front of the bed and sits down, trying to be casual.

“Um..”

He sighs “come here.”

“Which.. one of us..” Koutarou quizzes but Tetsurou leaps up so he does too, both of them taking their place beside him. 

Kei sits with his hands on his knees silently, looking between them. Tetsurou looks at him with a smile, while Koutarou covers the bottom of his face with his hand shyly, chuckling. 

They’re both thinking ‘now what?’, not expecting to really get this far and honestly a bit surprised by Kei right now. 

Kei eyes tetsurou now, who takes the chance to lean in. Kei amuses him by doing the same, just a smidge. Koutarou sits up more to get a good view. 

“Hm.” Too confident. He turns away from him, leaving him open mouthed as Tetsurou watches him, huffing a laugh at his teasing. 

Koutarou looks at him now, his eyes falling to his lips and them back up rapidly. Kei closes his eyes, slowly pressing their lips together. The two boys moan, fingers quickly moving to seep into the others hair and pull themselves closer. 

It’s slow and deep, tasting each other. Their tongues slide together, desperately wanting more. Kei pulls away, nose to nose, while Koutarou keeps his eyes close. He relies on Kei’s breath solely for coordinance, his mouth falling agape as he searches for that sweet reunion. 

Kei leans forward and gives to him again, leaving him with one last sweet kiss. Koutarou is wide eyed, panting out his mouth and red faced. The pure heat and desire between the three could power a hospital. Tetsurou’s whole body is wracked with impatience, to jump on him and claim his mouth, but Kei has them right where he wants them. Anxious for more, waiting for his call, completely at his disposal. 

Kei finally gives Tetsurou the attention he so desires, and the black haired male moves as close as he can. Koutarou’s hand is making its way up Kei’s thigh as Tetsurou holds onto the other one. Their lips meet and it’s immediately fiery, a battle of dominance over the other. Who can claim more and more from each other. 

They can feel each others breath hot on their face, saliva coating their mouths. Pushing their tongues down the others throat. When kei decides he’s had enough, he pulls away. 

They sit, breathless, watching each other. 

Then, kei faces the wall and accentuates his neck. Their minds, hazy with lust, make the connection and they lean in with a chuckle to claim the new territory. Their hands Pres’s upwards on his thighs, squeezing. Koutarou sucks on his ear, pulling the lobe between his lips. Tetsurou mouths at his jaw, nipping his neck and sucking softly. Kei’s eyelashes flutter while he releases a breathy moan that makes them even more determined. 

His hands come up to their faces hesitantly, pulling their faces in. He seems shy now, and they’re confused before seeming to understand what he wants. All of them so turned on, they have no care for grace or coordination. All of their mouths come together, a mess of tongues and lips. It’s hard to tell who’s kissing who, and they don’t seem to care either. They try earnestly to all conjoin together, yearning for the heat and pleasure they can draw out. 

Kei stops and falls backwards on the bed, landing on his elbows softly. He watches the two boys who hardly seem to notice, a smirk growing on his flushed face. 

Koutarou and Bokuto don’t hesitate in their pursuit, perhaps a chance to act on all the tension built up over years and years. They’re sucking at each others lips desperately, tilting their hands to slot their tongues against one another’s. 

“Ahem.”

They both pull away, turning to look at him. With embarrassment, or surprise that he’s there. Kei decides to sit up “y’know, I should be going now.”

“W-what?! Wait! What about your number?”

“I told you, I’m not a homewrecker.”

“We’re not- please?”

Kei stands before them, crossing his arms. He looks like he sees something the other two haven’t yet. His ever opportunist mind finds something he can benefit from. 

“Tell ya what, whoever wins tomorrow gets my number.”

The two boys straighten up 

“Fuck”

“Tetsurou has a girlfriend!”

“Bro stop!”

Kei looks solely at Koutarou “you can beat him y’know, you should beat him” he knows he’s lighting a fire. 

“You’re saying you want me to win?”

“I want, to see some good fucking tennis.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Goodnight boys.” 

And with that, he leaves like he was never there to begin with, having thoroughly played with the two. They watch the door shut, both deflating. 

Koutarou slowly looks over “you remember when you said you’d let me win?”

“That’s was a lifetime ago” Tetsurou is still staring at the closed door. 

Koutarou jumps up, obviously boner in his boxers “what about my grandma?!”

Tetsurou slaps it harshly “i hope she has a fucking stroke.” Koutarou falls over on the bed, curling up and groaning. Tetsurou laughs. 

The match - next day - late afternoon 

Thwacccckkk!

There are a few dozen spectators and a camera crew, but to the two, there’s only one audience member that matters. 

Kei is sat up like an empress watching two gladiators in the ring, trying to fight for his admiration. 

Koutarou plays the absolute best tennis of his life, but Tetsurou’s too good for him. He doesn’t  just beat him, he embarrasses him.

“Come on Koutarou you can do it!”

Koutarou scoops up a ball and sends it shallow onto Tetsurou’s side. Tetsurou runs to it, looking like he’s going for a smash towards the baseline, but it’s a fake out; he hits an absolutely perfect volley, winning the point. 

Koutarou throws his hands in despair, a line judge on the side can only mouth in disbelief: wow. 

Tetsurou turns to Kei and does a little cocky bow, he smiles and claps for him. 

Locker room — first day of qualifiers 

Tetsurou is scrolling on a dating app he had downloaded, sitting on a bench with a towel in his lap, his skin steamy from his shower. He’d of course beat all his matches today but now comes the real challenge, where’s he going to sleep tonight?

A guy in front of him, who’d happen to have beaten, his leaning against his locker and mumbling harshly to himself “so stupid.. losing to guys like this..”

Another competitor walks in “good work Kuroo!” 

Kuroo raises his hand with a smile 

“You too Grosu” the man says teasingly to the distressed man. The players laugh, kuroo  grins behind his screen. 

He swipes on multiple girls, taking a second longer on a dude he’s come by before swiping him too. His eyes set on someone worth noticing, mostly because of their bio and proximity. 

The target of ridicule starts beating his racket on the locker ground floor, yelling as it breaks in a mess of string and carbon fiber. Guys in the shower and guys walking in all turn to look at the sad display. Tetsurou couldn’t care less, he swipes right on the woman. 

The Ritz Carlton, lobby — later 

His date sits across from him, hovering close over a class of wine at a seat he could never afford without her there. 

She giggles “so, do you play at like.. Wimbledon and the U.S open?”

He chuckles, wearing the nicest clothes he has but still underdressed for this occasion, his hair fixed with water from the sink. 

“Sometimes, when I qualify.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well.. those big tournaments usually have room for like, 128 players. So if you’re ranked in the top 100, you instantly get a spot, but everyone else has to play a sort of tournament before the tournament. And even to get there your rank has to be pretty high. So, some years I make it, some I don’t” he shrugs “If I win this thing in New Rochelle, then my ranking will be high enough for the open.”

“You’ll get a spot?”

“I’ll get a spot in the qualifiers.”

“Ah.”

She seems confused and slightly disinterested, not that he isn’t totally bored. It’s honestly a bit weird interacting with people whose whole life isn’t tennis, they seem like another breed. 

“I told you tennis was boring” he laughs 

“No! Really”

He flicks her nametag, eager to get her affection “so, tell me about.. real estate law.”

“Oh, well…”

He instantly turns out her explaining all the logistics of her firm, but pretends to be listening intently. His eyes wander to the bar and the background behind her shoulder. 

His eyes linger on the reception desk to the hotel, and when he focuses, he sees a man standing there. It’s kei.

His eyes go wide, as do his where he notices him there. 

“You okay?” His date interrupts the moment

“Sorry?”

“You just have a crazy look on your face.”

“Oh I just..” he clears his throat “do you mind if I?” He slips out without a second thought, heading over to Kei near the hotel elevator. 

“Hi.”

Kei glares at him “the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m playing at the -“

“I know that. You’re not staying at this hotel are you?”

“No. Why are you staying here? I assumed you guys would rent a villa or something” he grins. 

Kei looks completely uninterested. 

“Koutarou likes hotels”

“Course he does” he laughs 

“He can’t see the two of us together. He already thinks I planned this whole thing to humiliate him.”

Tetsurou smiles devilishly “didn’t you?” 

“Not this part.”

Tetsurou takes him in. There is palpable energy still between them.

Kei looks over to the bar, where Tetsurou’s date is waiting for him with furrowed brows. 

His voices turns stern “are you on a date?” He looks surprised by just how much lower the other becomes the more he sees him. 

“No. Well.. yes, I just need a place to sleep.”

When he sees kei’s face of judgment he scoffs “sorry, we can’t all stay at the ritz.”

Kei’s shoulders are stiff, his jaw clenches “can you just go seal the deal and get out of here so we don’t risk you two running into each other. You’re on opposite sides of the draw, you won’t see one another unless you’re both in the final.”

Tetsurou looks to the side and puts his hands in his pockets, his chest poking out confidentially “I don’t think we have to worry about that.” His eyes train back on the blonde. 

“No. You usually fall apart in the second round” he does not spare him. Tetsurou looks at him, stung, and smiles. 

“You knew I was gonna be here and brought him anyway…” Tetsurou says slowly, suggesting something Kei will not even allow to touch the air. 

“He needs the practice if he’s going to be in the open.”

“Yeah no I get it.”

“That’s why we’re where we are”

Tetsurou looks around “looks like we’re all in the same place.”

Kei scoffs and gives him one last disregarding look with a shake of his head “we’re not.” It goes much deeper than sheer location.

A tennis court at Mark Rebellato Academy - morning 

Fifteen years ago. A week before the U.S open.

Koutarou and Tetsurou enter a practice court.

“What do you mean you won’t say?” Koutarou huffs, looking poutily at his friend. 

“I don’t kiss and tell” Tetsurou chuckles cheekily. 

“Since when?”

“Since he told me he’d break up with me if I did.”

“He had to have known you’d talk to me.”

Tetsurou laughs again as he pulls out his racket and gets ready to rally “he didn’t indicate there were any exceptions.”

“Fine!” Koutarou puts his hands up stubbornly “just give me a signal then” he points his racket at Tetsurou. 

“A signal?”

“I’ll ask questions, and you just react. You won’t have to speak a word.”

“Isn’t this hard for you to hear? Wouldn’t you rather not know.”

“No. It was obvious from the start he was more into you. I’m competitive, not deranged. Did i use that word right?”

“Yes” Tetsurou smiles and shakes his head, stopping the ball when it’s thrown at him. He bounces it between his feet. “Who’s serving first?”

“You.”

“Okay.”

Tetsurou bounces the ball one last time and gets in motion. 

“Hold on”

He stops. 

“If the two of you slept together, do a normal serve.”

“What?”

“I’m not asking you to tell me dude. I’m just saying, if you fucked, serve like me.”

“Like you?”

Koutarou nods. 

“You know you have a tic right?”

Koutarou’s hairline rises as his eyebrows do “a tic?”

“Yeah. Right before you throw the ball up, you place it in the exact center in the neck of the racket.”

“I do?”

“Every time.”

Koutarou takes a ball out of his shorts and mines his service motion to see if he’s right. He is. 

“Holy shit…”

Tetsurou laughs. 

“Okay, so do that” 

“I’m not telling you anything Kou.”

“You won’t be telling me.”

Tetsurou looks at him, Koutarou smiles, egging him on. 

Tetsurou bounces the ball and goes into Koutarou’s service motion. 

Koutarou’s too distracted to get into position to return it, but it doesn’t matter. 

Thwacckk!

Tetsurou serves up an ace. 

Koutarou smiles and shrugs. Tetsurou smiles back, but as he turns back to reset for his next serve, Koutarou’s expression falls. Showing exactly how he feels now: hatred. 

Not only did he sleep with Kei, he is perfectly capable of serving the normal way. He just won’t, too pretentious to.

Tetsurou goes back to his own serving motion now and Koutarou gets ready to return, determined to harness his hatred to demolish whatever comes his way. 

Thwaccckkk!

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - present day, evening 

The umpires time is ticking down from 90 seconds, 1:26, 1:25, 1:24…

Koutarou wipes himself with a towel and takes off his shirt. He gets out a fresh Nike shirt from his bag and puts it on the bench next to his, letting himself air out. His big muscles are on display and gleaming with sweat. 

He takes out one of his drink bottles labeled ‘between-sets’ and looks over at Tetsurou’s side. 

Tetsurou is also shirtless, more lean and less broad than Koutarou but still ripped. He’s got his arm slung over the side of the bench, slouching, exuding cocky ease. In his hand he’s got a peeled banana. 

Koutarou leans in and focuses on the court. 

He looks up and catches Koutarou, leaning in too. He gets his attention, grinning as he wiggles his banana. Koutarou always ate one daily. 

Koutarou scowls at him with that same unmistakable hatred, ready to harness it again. This time, he’s got the advantage. He’s the best, and kuroo is nobody. Still a cocky asshole who doesn’t take it seriously, thinking he can simply get by off the skin of his teeth and his sheer presence the world is supposed to bow to. This is why he’s what he is, still a wash up living from game to game and thinking he still has time for his prime to start once the world finally gives in to his orders. He hates him. How dare he look at him with that face of superiority. 

But Tetsurou knows he’s got nothing to lose, he gets money no matter what, and it’s not like anyone’s expecting him to be great. In a way, he’s free. And perhaps that’s what Koutarou hates the most. Tetsurou gets to care about simply having fun. He doesn’t have a husband, a team, and millions of fans depending on him to win, because that’s all he is to him. A winner. And he is.

This is nothing to him. 

He looks over at Kei who has been watching this whole interaction, and they all stare at each other in a sort of Mexican stand-off. If they’re fire and ice, he’s earth, without him there’s no balance and they might burn each other right up. 

Suddenly the umpires alarm beeps loudly. 

“Time!”

Koutarou puts on a fresh shirt, and Tetsurou puts his own sweaty one back on. Koutarou downs his ‘between-sets’ bottle in one gulp without a hint of a grimace. He’s burning inside now, you can tell just by looking at him that he is a walking legend, and for a reason. 

Set Two

K. Bokuto: 2, 0 - 0

T. Kuroo:   6, 0 - 0

Stanford Practice Court - day

Fourteen years ago. 

Kei rallies against a teammate as the rest watches. He wins a point, crushing a forehand down the line. 

His teammates cheer, but Tetsurou is gone on a trip back home and returning next week. Someone else is cheering too, and he turns to see Koutarou watching. He smiles. 

Cafeteria - a little later 

They were casual friends, given their relationship to Tetsurou. Sometimes they had awkward moments, like when Koutarou would be overly involved and would look at him in a certain way, but he chose to ignore it. What did he expect given the circumstances. 

“So when are you going pro?” Always this same conversation with him. 

Kei rolls his eyes “you’re going to ask me this too?”

“I mean, you can’t keep doing this for three more years. That’s obvious.”

“What about you? Has anyone taken one set off of you at practice yet?”

“No, but I still have to try!”

“I’m trying!”

Koutarou looks at him in a way that says ‘give me a break.’

“If we win the championship, I’ll leave.”

“So, April.”

“I said if we win.”

“Right. So, April” Koutarou beams

Kei smiles. 

“You know Tetsurou’s coming back next week”

Koutarou’s complete demeanor changes at the mention of Tetsurou. 

“Yeah, he told me.”

“We should get dinner or something.”

“Yeah, sure. If you want.”

Kei notices his sudden weirdness. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you guys have a stupid fight or something?”

“No, we're fine. I just..” 

“Koutarou.”

“Really, nothing.”

Kei looks at him “this whole thing you’re doing is stupid. You’re no good at it.”

“I’m not doing a thing. I’m just…”

“Uh huh?”

“I’m surprised you two are still seeing each other, is all.”

Kei studies his face. 

“Okay.” 

He grabs his tray and starts to get up. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you want to have lunch with me today?”

“I told you.. I was in the area and..”

“Don’t be such a fucking pussy. What do you have to tell me? Is he seeing someone else.”

“No. Or I mean, I don’t know, he might be.”

“He might be?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think Tetsurou is that kind of guy really. That’s not what I’m trying to say!”

Kei waits. Then, he starts to walk away, annoyed. 

“He’s not in love with you” Koutarou blurts. 

He stops. 

“Who said I want someone to be in love with me?”

“I mean..”

“When did I say I was in love with him?”

“You didn’t” he slumps submissively. 

“So why would I care whether he loved me or not?”

“I guess you wouldn’t” he shrugs, stubborn. 

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

Koutarou looks up “don’t you think you deserve it?”

He looks at Koutarou and sees it, the longing there again. 

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“I mean who wouldn’t be in love with you?”

Kei just laughs. 

“Sorry” he knows he’s made a mistake. He shakes his head, looking down at his plate of food he go by Kei spare dining hall credits. 

“I think you might be the worst friend in the world.” 

“Maybe.”

“Definitely” he says sharply

They look at each other. 

“Thanks for lunch, Koutarou”

He finally leaves. Koutarou watches him go for a moment before taking the saddest sip of Gatorade. A group of girls who’d been watching the whole thing go back to murmuring between each other. 

Practice Court - day, the next week

Koutarou rallies against a teammate, clearing already a more confident player and only becoming better. 

Teammate sends up a ball into the net and chastises himself as Koutarou sets up for his next serve. 

He sends an ace right down the T. 

“Out!” The teammate shouts 

He looks at the guy, scratching his hair. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah man it was out.”

He shrugs and serves a slightly softer ball. 

They rally, and the teammate tries to lob him, but he hops up to meet the ball and demolishes it in an unreturnable smash. 

His teammates cheer, and he smiles proudly. 

“That’s right baby!! Show that motherfucker who’s boss!!!” A random voice booms. 

Koutarou looks over and sees Tetsurou, wearing shorts, sunglasses, and a Stanford t-shirt, waving over at him. 

“Finish it off Bokuto! Come on!” He takes off his sunglasses, grinning. 

Koutarou jumps to serve and sends it off. As soon as it’s in the air Tetsurou starts chasing him. Koutarou laughs and jumps over a bench, running around the court. Tetsurou, having dropped his bags, tackles him in a flurry of roars. 

Koutarou’s teammates all laugh from the sidelines at the display, his practice mate puts his hands up in question to the now forgotten match. 

A little later 

Tetsurou sits in the grass, watching Koutarou with a fond smile as he gets handed churros from a street vendor before walking over to him and sitting down.

“You were amazing out there, I feel like I’ve missed so much” Tetsurou chuckles and takes a bite out of his churro. 

“Thanks. You’re doing great too, Stanfords undefeatable with you and Kei. Everyone knows you’re the stars of the show.”

Tetsurou laughs bashfully. 

“So, how’s college?” Koutarou asks 

“It’s good, lots of work.”

“Must be fun being so close to Kei.”

“Yeah it is, except when he kicks me out so he can actually study. He can’t handle being around me for too long” Tetsurou recounts fondly. 

“Anyone else?”

“What do you mean?” He says around a mouth full of cinnamon. 

“Besides, Kei” Koutarou tries to ask casually, looking away as he bites his own. 

“Dude.”

“What.”

“No. God no. I’m taken, I’ve got a hands full with Kei’s moods alone.” He laughs, trying to shake off the weird suggestion that he would ever cheat. Especially after all he did to get Kei’s affection in the first place. 

“What about you?” He asks Koutarou 

“Nah, I’m focused on playing right now.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Don’t worry, you’ve always got me” he winks. 

Koutarou elbows his side softly “thanks man. Besides, I'm happy just seeing you in a happy relationship.”

Tetsurou nods, smiling softly at his socks that belonged to kei and had gotten thrown in with his stuff before the trip. 

“You are happy, right?”

“What? Yeah, totally.”

“You’re really committed?”

“Who do you think I am dude? You seem really interested in us all of a sudden” tetsurou smirks. 

“It’s not like that.. I just.. don’t get to have as many hearts to hearts with you anymore.”

“Okay… yeah, we’re taking it step by step, but you know, I like him. He makes me better, I think he’s making me an honest man. And as long as he puts up with me, I’m definitely not going to mess it up on purpose.”

Koutarou looks at him 

“What? You don’t think I’m being honest?”

“No I just.. you know.. I’m not sure how he’s thinking about it. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You don’t want me to get hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t know you were so concerned about my feelings.”

“Of course I am!”

“Did he say something to you?” 

“No.. I just got the impression that he’s not really thinking about this as a serious relationship” he shrugs, still chewing. 

“You got that impression?”

“Uh huh. From a conversation we had.”

“Hmm.”

Tetsurou looks at him and smiles. 

“You fucking snake” he whispers and gets in his face, pulling him closer. Koutarou smiles, looking confused. 

“Honestly i’m proud of you, I’d be doing the same thing if I were you.”

“I’m not-“

“I mean, of course you’d still have a thing for him. Look at him.” He doesn’t seem bothered by this conversation. 

“That’s-“

“It’s fine. It’s not like you’re gonna try and fuck him while we’re together. It’s exciting to see you this way” he sits back, finishing off his churro “it’s what’s missing from your tennis.”

“What?”

“I mean, you’ve always been so concerned with doing a good job. You know? playing well. And you do play well. You play beautifully. But you’ve never had that thing where you really, really want to win, besides when it’s us together. My thing is I chase the ball like an animal, but you’ve always been obsessed with hitting it the right way.”

Koutarou’s just looks at him, totally surprised by all this. He didn’t expect this conversation to turn to this. 

“I like seeing you lit up about something, is all. Even if that's something my boyfriend” he grins. 

“Is that what you guys are calling each other now?”

He smiles at him 

“You know this just makes it hotter for me, right? You sitting here pining for him. I mean, every single one of these assholes is trying to fuck Kei. Why should my best friend be any different?”

“I would never-“

“I know, it’s not your style. You’re playing percentage tennis; waiting for me to fuck up.”

They look at each other for a long, uncomfortable time. 

“Come on, walk me over there to see him.”

Kei’s dorm room - later

Tetsurou just finished up using the restroom. He walks back into the bedroom to see Kei sitting there, long legs sprawled out, laying on his elbows; watching.

Tetsurou grins ear to ear, pulling his t-shirt over his mouth and then cleanly over his chest, tossing it aside. He’s teasing him, making a show of his body that Kei has so missed. 

The blonde runs one leg against the other. 

“I’ve got some time to kill before my match.”

“Oh yeah? Gonna fit me in your schedule?” 

Tetsurou crawls on the bed, pulling Kei’s hips to meet his. He kisses his lips, and then moves to his neck. “I guess I can” kei wraps his legs around his waist and traps him there. He moves his hand down and palms Tetsurou bare dick through his boxers. 

Tetsurou moans and holds him down, looking at him like he’s about to eat him alive. Kei grins back, daring him to. 

“Won’t be too sore?”

“Nah.”

Tetsurou eyes him 

“I won’t.” 

“Alright, let’s make sure you play the best game of your life.” 

An amazing two hours later

“I’ve missed you. You have no idea how lonely it was” Tetsurou says once there’s air in his lungs. 

“Yeah, when you’re here, you’ve got me. Is that why you don’t play to win anymore?”

“Kei.”

“What?”

“I just said I missed you.”

“I know.” 

Tetsurou sighs and flops on his back, hair astray while he’s slick with sweat. Kei takes the chance to straddle him, which makes Tetsurou look at him with intrigue. 

“We just had the best sex of our lives, can you stop critiquing me for one moment.” 

“Exactly, we can’t talk about tennis without you thinking it’s about your dick. You won’t feel emasculated since you’ve just fucked my brains out.”

Tetsurou smirks “I did do that didn’t I? So why do you still have the mind to argue.” 

Kei smiles and pushes two fingers into his mouth, Tetsurou grins around them and holds his wrist. He sucks on the long digits, all without looking away. The sky has turned grey outside as they’ve laid cooped up, ravishing each other. Their chemistry was unmatched, on the court, and in the bedroom. They’d go so hard and get so lost in it they didn’t know when to stop, until time was called, which right now was Kei’s alarm and exactly why he set it. 

Kei leans down to kiss him. 

“When were you going to ask me about art?”

“Oh I thought you knew, he’s your friend” Kei jokes, his chest and ears red. His face looks so cute without his glasses on and his bangs all ruffled. 

“I mean, I feel bad, because I know he’s in pain.” Tetsurou says around Kei kissing at his neck now like an hungry animal. “But I also find the whole thing kind of delicious.”

Kei’s tongue is licking into his mouth “you’re not threatened by this?”

“No.” he smiles 

Kei looks at him, raising his eyebrows with fondness and a devious look in his eyes. Tetsurou really isn’t, especially not when he’s seeing him like this right now. He’s the one who gets to see him like this all the time, who gets to fuck him just like he needs to, pleading for more. He’s the one who can make kei cum over and over until he can’t take it anymore and falls asleep cuddled to his chest in satisfaction and pure bliss. 

“You should be. He’s good looking, he’s smart, he’s good at tennis.”

“He’s always been very good.” His hands hold Kei’s hips, rubbing his lower stomach with his thumbs. 

“I’m serious, he’s gotten a lot better since we’ve been here. I’m impressed.”

“Are the two of us still playing for your number? I thought I won.” 

“This is exactly what I meant. You think you’ve gotten the grand prize, so you don’t play as seriously anymore. You always think you’ve won before the match is over.”

Tetsurou looks at him

“You have all this experience visualizing victory, but none visualizing defeat. The moment the match starts slipping away from you you, you decide you’d rather just throw it on your own terms than expect you might get beaten by a guy you know isn’t nearly as good as you are.”

“Is the match slipping away from me?” He asks, curious now “it didn’t feel like it.” Tetsurou laughs dryly.

“I’m just saying you could learn something from Koutarou. Look at him, still trying to get in this thing when he knows you’re in here fucking me. He’s not afraid of a little pain. He spent so much time practicing with you as a kid that now his default position is that the guy on the other side of the net is better than he is. And it makes him a much better player. Meanwhile, you think you can just play your game and the match will take care of yourself.”

Kei explains, obvious he’s thought this a while and still not sparing him even if they’re boyfriends now and just had sex. He looks down at him, taking a breath. Tetsurou’s silent, observing his face. His fingers have stopped moving on his hips, and he even moves his hand away to rub at his face. 

He settles his face against his hand “are we still talking about tennis?”

“We’re always talking about tennis.”

“Can we not?”

“Sure” Kei gets up and starts getting dressed. 

“What are you doing?” Tetsurou turns to his side, propping on his elbow. 

“I have to do my routine. I’ll see you after the match.” 

He sits up now “Kei..”

“If you’re not interested in me fixing your game for free then don’t worry about it” he shakes his head. 

“Why do you care so much?”

“I’m dating you, it’s embarrassing if you suck.”

“So I suck now?”

Kei shrugs. 

“It’s more than college tennis out there. We can’t all just walk around calling ourselves the ‘Tsukismasher’” he references the name fans had come up for Kei spitefully, which he knew he hated anyway. 

“Wow.”

Kei looks at him, now fully clothed. He gets down on his yoga mat, stretching his legs. 

“I’m happy to be here with you, I just don’t need you to be my coach.”

“Well, someone has to be.”

Tetsurou laughs “can we just-“

“I mean, what do you need from me? A cheerleader? A fuck buddy? A boyfriend?”

Tetsurou doesn’t say anything. 

“There are tons of girls and guys out there who would love to be yours. You’re talented, you’re charming, you’ve got a big dick. Go be with one of them” he looks back at his mat, concentrating with furrowed brows. 

Tetsurou is shocked, sticking his tongue to his cheek. A moment ago they were clutching onto each other as they came. He wouldn’t take this disrespect. 

“Is this like your new strategy you’re using to pump yourself up before a match? Have a little fight to get the energy flowing?” 

Kei leans his head back as he stretches “I don’t need a fight to get the energy flowing.”

“No. Just an hour of meditation.”

“And what? You thinks it’s lame? You think I’m trying too hard?” 

“I think it’s unnecessary given that you’re playing Harry fucking country club from Pepperdine.” His voice grows louder. 

“How’s coasting by on talent working for you?” Kei doesn’t even look his way. 

Tetsurou jumps off the bed and kneels beside him, getting right in his face and forcing him to look. 

“What are you trying to do right now?” He asks, squinting his eyes. 

“I’m trying to make this work for me, Tetsurou.”

He continues “I’m trying to justify being with this guy who who wants me to tell him his game is perfect and suck his dick, but the more I’m listening to myself, the crazier I feel for being here. I mean, do you have any idea how frustrating it is to listen to you complain about how you’re getting ‘screwed over’ all the time? As if that’s any use of my fucking time.”

“Well excuse me for inconveniencing you.” He tilts his head, spitting his words lowly as his eyes stare daggers into him. 

“Yeah, you are. I need to be alone now, I’ll see you after the match.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I’m not coming. Not if you think you can just dismiss me. I’m not some fucking lapdog who’s just going to sit around and let you punish me. I’m not Koutarou.”

Kei laughs. 

“I mean, maybe you need someone like that- someone who’s gonna hop on board and be Mr. Kei Tsukishima” Tetsurou stands up. 

“That’s what you think I want?” 

“Yeah, a member of the fan club.”

Kei stands, towering over him and using all of his height to looking down at him over his chin.

“You’re not a member of my fan club?”

Tetsurou clenches his jaw. “I’m your peer, I’m not your fucking groupie. And I’m certainly not your student.”

A moment of silence hangs over them, staring in each others eyes while both of them have the same resilience and neither are going to submit. Kei’s lips twitch, both of their blood pumping and hearts hurting from this argument they know they won’t be able to fix so easily, especially not anytime soon with how they both are currently. 

Tetsurou bites down hard, he wanted this so badly to work, he told himself the soft moments with Kei was worth how harsh and indifferent he could be. But they just weren’t compatible, in a healthy way at least. 

“Okay. Please leave me alone now so I can do something useful.” 

“No problem, Tsukismasher.”

He snatches his clothes and starts to leave 

“Don’t expect to sleep here tonight.”

“Break a leg!” 

He leaves and slams the door behind him. 

Kei closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose, exhaling very slowly. 

Outside the locker room - a little later 

Koutarou is talking to some other players when he sees Kei and can tell something is wrong. 

“Kei.”

He looks over at this, he walks up to him. 

“Where’s Tetsu? I’ve been texting him.”

Kei shrugs. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

He goes to enter the locker room 

“Hey.”

Kei glares at him “I’m fine Koutarou.”

Koutarou is left staring at the door, deflated and confused but somehow knowing it’s his fault. If he hadn’t say anything to the both of them, they probably wouldn’t have fought, and Kei wouldn’t have..

Stanford Campus - same time, evening 

Tetsurou smokes on a bench next to a sign that says ‘STANFORD IS A SMOKE FREE CAMPUS’. He watches as people head towards the tennis court with face paint and homemade banners. 

He scoffs and looks away, when he sees a group of kids passing a joint back and forth. 

He gets up and heads in that direction. 

The Court 

Koutarou’s it’s amongst the crowd, looking for Tetsurou. He sends a text: 

> hey where are you?? Match is about to start :<

After a moment he gets a text back. 

> had a big fight. Now’s your chance bro. Good luck :)

“And now for your 2004, 2006, and 2007 NCAA Men’s Tennis Champions, give it up for Stanford’s Men’s Tennis!” The announcer rumbles 

The team comes out and Kei doesn’t smile or wave to the crowd at all. And there’s no Tetsurou. Kei looks at the stands, scanning them for Tetsurou, and looks at the empty seat next to Koutarou. He meets his eyes and then moves to the bench, looking to destroy everything.

The match

Thwacccckkkk!!!

Kei plays against a very average boy from Pepperdine, using him as a punching bag to get out his aggression. He forces the guy into a punishing rally, winning the point by switching directions at the last moment and ripping a forehand down the line.

“Love - 40”

Kei moves over for his next return and and looks at the guy, basically telling him ‘hit me.’ The guy, exhausted, goes into his motion and sends him the best he’s got. Another punishing rally begins. 

Thwaccckkkk  

Thwaccckkkk. 

Thwaccckkkk. 

Thwaccckkkk. 

Kei’s barely paying attention as he smacks the ball relentlessly, quick on his feet like never before. He’s hitting it like he’s got a personal vendetta with it, replaying the fight with Tetsurou in his mind. Koutarou looks on, concerned and on edge, 

Thwaccckkkk. 

Thwaccckkkk. 

Thwaccckkkk. 

Kei shifts his body to change direction and send another screamed down the line, but he’s on autopilot, and he doesn’t notice that the Pepperdine boy has mishit his forehand, giving it the tiniest bit of a spin.

And Kei does into his windup, the ball comes off the concrete heading in the opposite direction. 

Kei’s already in the middle of his windup, but his body Instinctively tries to correct itself mid-swing: his legs go one way, his body goes the other, and his left ankle contorts in a way that is completely unnatural. 

Koutarou has a face of horror as he sees it millisecond before the rest of the crowd. 

SNAP.

The crowd gasps. Koutarou jumps to his feet and runs down the court, pushing people out of the way and jumping over the net like a hurdle as Kei falls to the ground screaming in pain. 

The trainer is already on the floor next to him when he gets there, trying to calm him down. 

Kei writhes, sobbing, holding his ankle. 

“No no no no no no no no no” he’s hardly breathing when Koutarou’s knees hit the ground next to his head. He cradles Kei’s head in his lap, looking over him “hey look at me, Kei look at me.”

Hospital room - night 

Koutarou sits beside Kei, like he has been for hours now. 

Kei stares at the wall, completely drained of life. Koutarou can only watch with nothing to say. 

There’s no way to comfort him. He can put on a big smile and make him laugh by doing some stupid antic. There’s no words to explain how in love Kei is with tennis, how bound by it he’s been his whole life, intertwined entirely and now unraveling faster than he can hold onto. 

All those years were for naught as soon as the doctor tells him he most likely will not be able to play again. 

Kei had gone silent, hardly even registering as conscious to anyone else in the room. Koutarou had hung his head, covering his face as he feels himself close to tears. Not only was he a friend, maybe more than that to him, he was also a huge inspiration. How could he dare play when Kei of all people couldn’t. 

It should’ve been Tetsurou. 

He couldn’t help but think it. The guy wasn’t even here. There was no part of him resisting it anymore, he absolutely hated him. 

On cue Tetsurou appears in the doorway, eyes red, still stoned, and Koutarou and Kei turn to look at him with the same hateful look. 

“I’m sorry I-“

“Out.” 

“Kei…”

“OUT!” Kei points 

“Listen-“

Kei looks like he might leap out of the bed and strangle him. 

“TETSUROU GET THE FUCK OUT! Koutarou’s loud voice shocks everyone around them. They both flinch, but Koutarou is furious. His nostrils are flared, his stance is firm. 

Tetsurou looks between them with indescribable hurt and guilt in his eyes, finally turning to leave with his hand in his hair. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - Present, late evening  

thwaccckkk!!

K. Bokuto: 2, 3 - 15

T. Kuroo:   6, 1 - 0

They have a punishing rally, slugfest tennis, ugly and brutal - and Kei physically reacts to each hit as if he was playing through Koutarou. 

Koutarou hits a backhand to the baseline. Tetsurou can’t get there. 

“Out!” Kuroo shouts 

“Thirty - love”

“That was out! That was wayyy out!” Kuroo yells up at the umpire. 

He leans over the mic “the ball was called in.”

Tetsurou turns and looks at the line judge. 

“Are you blind?”

“Tetsurou” the umpire warns. 

Tetsurou gets in the guys face “are you here to do your job, or are you just excited that Koutarou Bokuto is here.”

“I’m going to give you another code violation if you don’t stop this.”

“Koutarou! This guy wants your autograph!” He yells over the net as he returns. 

Koutarou drops his hands from position, sweating and irritated at his antics. 

“Code violation. Unsportsmanlike conduct. Verbal abuse. Point penalty, Kuroo.” 

Tetsurou throws his hands up, Koutarou smiles. 

“This really how you want to get your points?” 

“I’m ready to serve, Tetsurou.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“Forty - love”

Koutarou bounces the ball and goes into service motion. Kei, watching his toes, grits his teeth at the moment of impact. 

Thwacckkk!

Stanford practice court - evening 

A couple months after the injury, Kei has pulled Koutarou out to practice with him despite his hesitance. They rally with Kei still wearing a brace. He ‘wins’ a point, but he doesn’t look happy about it.

“Stop going easy on me.” 

“I’m not.”

“I have to know if I actually have a shot here. It’s useless unless you make me work.”

Koutarou looks away before he nods slowly. He wants to say no, not wanting to risk further injury, but he knows Kei needs this. He can’t stand laying around all day. 

Kei gets in position to return and Koutarou sends a fast one, which Kei returns, and they rally. 

After a few shots, Kei hits an angry forehand right at Koutarou’s head. He barely dodges it. 

“If you don’t actually start hitting the damn ball I’m walking off this court and never speaking to you again!” He spits, beyond frustrated

“Kei!”

“What, you don’t want to hurt me?”

He doesn’t say anything. 

“Fuck you!”

He doesn’t say anything. Kei starts to leave. 

“Wait!”

“Fucking pussy.”

“Wait.”

He looks at him, who pulls a ball out of his pocket and emphasizes it. 

“Okay?”

Kei nods and gets into position to return. 

Koutarou serves, and they start to rally, now at actual full speed. 

No one has dared to play like this with him since his injury, and he’s getting more and more confident with each shot. 

Koutarou surprises him with a very shallow drop shot and he sprints to it to catch it at the next, but his ankle gives out from under him, radiating sharp pain. 

Kei yells and drops to the ground, hugging his knee. Koutarou, terrified, drops his racket and runs and hops over the net. 

Kei cries in pain. 

“Fuck, let me go get a trainer!” He moves to touch him but Kei slaps it away.

“I’m fine!”

“You’re obviously not fine! Don’t move.”

Kei stands up anyway

“Kei!”

He hobbled upright. “There’s nothing that anybody can do. Nothing happened. I’m just fucked. My ankle is fucked.” 

He’s limping away “I’m fine, you’re fine.”

He paces “you’re fine, you’re fine” he keeps whispering to himself. Suddenly, he stops and beats his racket against the ground. His teeth are gritted, his knuckles white as he shatters it all over the court and then throws it to the side, echoing in its emptiness. 

“Kei.”

He waves his hands “I’m fine, I’m fine” he keeps saying calmly as if nothing happened. 

“Kei.”

“I’m fine.”

Koutarou gets closer, until he wraps his arms around Kei who simply falls to his shoulder as he’s cradled, still whispering “you’re okay, you’re fine.”

Kei’s dorm room - later 

They both share a bottle of Wild Turkey. 

Kei hates the taste, but he doesn’t seem to care as long as his mind shuts up and his blood stops pumping so fast. Anything to keep back the endless dread and agony of knowing any thoughts of going pro are gone now. Just another guy who was popular for a second, but his career was over before it even really started. 

Everyone would forget him. Except for Koutarou who still looked at him like he was pure light, which made his stomach churn. 

“What about coaching?”

Kei laughs “who wants to be coached by an 18 year old who never even played professionally?”

“I mean, you probably couldn’t start as someone’s head coach, but you could work your way up.”

He shakes his head and takes a drink. This topic just made him even more depressed. Because that implied he had to keep living into a future where he really wouldn’t magically get better. He knew he was pathetic for it, he’d always been logical and unyielding from the truth. He lived by statistics. 

“I’d never forgive myself”

“You have to.”

“I’d never forgive Tetsurou.”

Koutarou is set aflame just hearing it. He shakes his head “well that, I don’t give a shit about.”

“You know, we were fighting about you. Or at least, that was part of it.”

Koutarou grows cold, taking this in. He already knows it but it devastates him deeply. 

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad.. it’s just.. you’re being a really good friend right now. I know that’s maybe not what you want to be, but I don’t have the space to be wondering whether you want something else.”

“I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I’ll fuck off if you want me to.”

“No. I want you here.” Kei looks scared for him to leave, for him to be alone in his head. 

“Okay.”

“I need you here actually.”

Silence. 

“..will you do something with me? I wanna try something.”

A convenience store near campus, night 

They stand outside smoking cigarettes Koutarou had just bought. He shields Kei’s mouth so he can get it lit from the breeze. 

They both cough a lot, neither knows what they’re doing, but it’s clearly making Kei feel better. 

Practice court at Cincinnati Masters - Day

Thwacckkk!!

Koutarou, now 21, hits around his coach Karl, a former german player in his 50’s.

He nods at his orders before he catches Kei in the stands and stops to wave. 

They both smile. Karl comes over and grumbles to him. 

The grounds of the Cincinnati masters 

They walk. Kei smokes. 

“You’re standing too far back on your returns.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, you’re still returning like you’re a little shocked to be on the pro tour. You shouldn’t be. Especially with McDonald tomorrow. His serves not that big, so you’re going to have to keep stepping up to, and you’re going to waste a lot of energy.”

Koutarou thinks about it. 

“I mean, listen, you should do what Karl tells you. He’s your coach.”

“He works for me.”

Kei laughs “that’s what Kiyotani keeps telling me.” Kei had started assisting coaching since they last talked and it was hard for anyone to stand him for long. He didn’t care, if they didn’t want to listen and just wanted to suck they could suck. 

Koutarou smiles, imagining just exactly that im his head. “You want to jump ship? Come join my team?”

“Can you afford an assistant coach?”

“Kind of, actually.”

“Koutarou Bokuto, look at you.”

He shrugs. They smile at each other. 

The match against McDonald - the next day 

Koutarou looks down and notices where he’s standing for the return, and he creeps up a few paces before McDonald goes into his serving motion. 

Thwacckk!!

Koutarou steps up to the return and crushes it, winning the point. 

He looks up at kei in the stands with a face of pure joy, Kei shrugs. 

A restaurant - that night 

“I’m serious about you coming to work with me now.”

“I don’t know..”

“Seriously, it was like magic!”

“Just simple stratege.” 

“I mean.. I get it. You want to work with someone with a little more potential” he chuckles solemnly. A moment of doubt. 

“You’ve got plenty of potential. I just.. do you think it’d be a good idea?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. We have a history.”

“You mean we’re friends? Everyone’s friends with their coaches..”

“No I mean..”

“Ah, you mean when I declared my love for you.”

“Yeah. that.”

He chuckles nervously “that was a long time ago.” 

“It wasn’t that long ago” Kei sips his coffee slowly. 

“Well, it feels like a long time ago…”

Kei mocks offense “you’re not in love with me anymore?”

Koutarou looks at him. Kei laughs, but he doesn’t. Kei suddenly looks at him like he’s not joking.

“I’m really proud of you Kei.”

“Oh god” he’s embarrassed 

“I’m serious. You’re doing really well.”

“Did you think I was going to kill myself after the injury or something?”

“No. I’m just glad you didn’t leave tennis. It would’ve been a waste.”

“What else am I going to do? Unfortunately, my only skill in life is hitting a ball with a racket.”

Koutarou feels a pang of nostalgia for a night that happened a long long time ago. 

He laughs a bit sadly. 

“You know..” he starts hesitantly “after the injury, I couldn’t help but think what would have happened had I won that match against Tetsurou.”

“Are you saying you want me to join your team because you feel guilty?”

“No, I’m just saying I want you to join my team because I want to win.”

They look at each other. Kei smiles and sips his drink. 

“You’d probably beat him now if you played, don’t you think?”

“I dunno, we’ve never played each other professionally. He didn’t qualify for this, and we don’t keep in touch..” 

Tetsurou had dropped out of Stanford. Kei laughs. 

“What?” Koutarou asks

“I really was a homewrecker, huh?”

Koutarou looks at him for a moment and sighs. 

“Honestly, I think I’d have trouble even looking at the guy from across the net..” he looks down at his hands. 

“Kou.” Kei says softly 

He raises his head, wondering if he said something wrong. “Yes?”

“You never said whether you were still in love with me.”

“Oh” he leans back and shrugs. 

“Who wouldn’t be?” 

Koutarou repeats the same ole line, and they smile at each other warmly. For the first time in a long time, Kei feels alive. Like he’s truly known and not just someone looked at with pity, never by Koutarou. 

Hotel hallway - later 

They stand in front of Kei’s door. There’s a long pause. 

“Thanks for dinner” Kei says 

“Least I could do.”

“It was nice seeing you.”

“Always is” Koutarou nods with his hand in his pocket. 

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Neither of them go to move. Kei laughs, so does Koutarou. 

“What?” Kei asks 

“I.. really want to kiss you right now” he groans then speaks softly “but I’m worry if I try, you’ll think I’m the worst friend in the world..”

Kei steps closer

“to whom?” 

They eye each other, each others lips. Then, Koutarou kisses him. It’s firm, it’s sweet. 

After they pull apart they’re left looking at each other once again. 

He kisses him again, and he kisses back, Koutarou’s hands come up to stroke softly through Kei’s hair, holding him. Kei clutches the back of Koutarou’s shirt and takes a deep breath out of his nose. They press against the door, making out passionately and affectionate as Koutarou pushes his knee against Kei’s groin. 

Kei’s hotel room — continuous 

Kei and Koutarou very awkwardly but sweetly fumble around, making their way to Kei’s bed, where they start taking off each others clothes. 

Kei is less muscular than he used to be, more soft, more pale. Koutarou is absolutely in love with every inch of him and is determined to see and kiss it all. He’s huge, pressing him against the bed. 

They get under the covers and Koutarou goes down on him. Kei moans and grips his pillow and then Koutarou’s hair as the man works him into the warmth of his wet mouth. Kei is so touch starved he can hardly stand it. 

After a bit, he emerges and they start kissing again. Kei can taste himself on his lips. He reaches down and wraps his long fingers around Koutarou’s big girth, smiling because he always knew he was big. He strokes him while he closes his eyes and tries to concentrate, moaning into Kei’s mouth lazily. He keeps stroking him until eventually he stops. 

“Is something wrong?” Kei whispers in the dark room 

“No, I just.. shit.”

Kei smiles “you’re fine.”

“I-I’ve been dreaming about this for five years.. a-and.. Koutarou’s breath shakes as he mumbles nervously  

“Kou. Look at me.”

“Fuck.”

Kei laughs and he sits there looking ashamed. He’s cute like this. 

He looks over at him as he reaches down and starts stroking him again, Koutarou looks at him with half lidded eyes. 

“You can do it.”

“Kei-“

“Shh. Come on, focus.”

Finally, he starts to get hard. Kei likes the control he hadn’t had in a long while, it gives him an ego boost. 

He smiles at it “there we go” he coos

Koutarou smiles and grunts. 

“You just needed a little coaching.”

“Ohhhh… fuck”

He strokes faster and faster. Eventually, Koutarou spills all over Kei’s pale stomach. The blonde pants, looking down at it. 

Koutarou is frozen in shock at the sheer pleasure, and god is he ready to fuck him. 

He leans down and licks a trail up Kei’s stomach, lapping up all of his own cum. 

“Jesus Kou”

Koutarou grins and kisses him with cum in his mouth. Kei moans against his lips and they share the taste between their tongues. This might be his new addiction. 

Kei stops smoking. Koutarou takes him on dates, never argues with him, listens to his advice intently, and always touches him sweetly and lovingly. 

And they fuck so good. Especially when Koutarou wins, and he wins a lot. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - night 

Thwaccckkk!!

Thwaccckkk!!

Thwaccckkk!!

Thwaccckkk!!

Tetsurou is smashing his racket against the ground relentlessly. He’s just lost the point and the second set, and Kei watches smiling, as if this gives him great pleasure. 

Tetsurou gets another penalty. 

“Game and second set Bokuto. Match is tied at one set all.”

Umpire sets the timer to 90 seconds. 

Both men head to their benches. Tetsurou picks up his limp, smashed racket, and throws it into his tennis bag. 

SET BREAK 

K. Bokuto: 2, 6 

T. Kuroo:   6, 3

Lobby at the Ritz Carlton - evening 

Kei is sitting on the couch cushions, clicking keys on his computer intently. 

Tetsurou walks out into the lobby, and when he sees Kei, he comes over. 

“Hi.”

Kei glares up at him from his computer. 

“What are you doing here? Isn’t it time you start prostituting yourself for a place to sleep tonight?” 

Tetsurou throws his thumb to the side “I’m still at that girls house.”

“Wow. It must be love”  Kei looks back at his screen. Luckily, Koutarou is enjoying a nice bath. 

“Care to have a cigarette with me?”

“I don’t smoke.”

Tetsurou doesn’t make any move to leave as the silence continues on. Instead, he taps his cigarettes against his phone obnoxiously until Kei finally looks up at him with hatred. 

Smoking area behind the hotel 

Kei leans his side against the wall as Tetsurou stands in front of him lighting his cigarette and getting it comfortable between his fingers. “So,” he blows out his smoke. 

“Blow it away from me.”

“Sorry.”

He exhales in the opposite direction. 

“I’m going to propose something to you, and it’s going to make you angry. It’s gonna make you very angry. But you have to hear me out. Okay?”

Kei just looks at him. 

“I don’t think it’s an accident that we’re both here… we’re both at a turning point, and the universe is throwing us together because we need each other. You and I, need each other, to get to the next point of our lives” he talks with his hands. 

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re going to say, please don’t.”

“I want you to be my coach.”

“What?”

“I’m finally ready to listen to you! I want to give myself over to you completely. I know that if I do, we can do something truly incredibly together, like we could’ve done back then. Koutarou’s best days are behind him, you know that, I know that, everybody knows that. That’s why you made him come here: just to confirm that he’s done.”

Tetsurou accentuates with his cigarette “and even in the best case scenario - I mean, let’s say he has a good season, wins the Open, completes his career; he’s still going to retire as someone who was just really, really, good.”

He looks at Kei really seriously, pouring his heart out. 

“But I still have a season. I still have one good season, and I need you to bring it out of me. I mean, imagine if you could turn Tetsurou Kuroo into a guy who wins a slam. I know you’re gonna say no, maybe you should say no. But just imagine the history it could have on tennis.”

“So..” he puts his cigarette in his mouth, he’s spoken a lot in these last few minutes. “What do you think?”

Kei looks back at him, completed stone-faced. 

Then, he slaps him so hard he spits out his cigarette. 

“Ow!” Tetsurou holds his face 

“How dare you fucking ask me that.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Do you think it’s cute what you’re doing? Do you think it’s funny?”

“I wasn’t joking!”

“Go fuck yourself. You want some coaching, you want some advice?”

“Yeah”

“Okay, Quit. Quit Right now. Right the fuck now, quit.” 

Tetsurou shakes his head and moves in “you know that when I’m good I’m one of the best in the world” he speaks firmly. 

“You’re the 271st best in the world.”

“I still have a shot” he states stubbornly. 

“You’re almost 33, you have a better shot with a handgun in your mouth.”

Tetsurou chuckles 

“I mean, why don’t you go home? Go home, ask your parents for a seat on the board. Or y’know what, matter of fact, ask them for some money. Go be like anything other spoiled rich kid who has never amounted to anything in their fucking life, and stop this performance of being a downonyourluck professional.”

“Kei..”

“No, you’re not 20 anymore, and it’s not cute to be walking around pretending like you need to grind it out at these bumfuck tournaments, and sleep in your fucking car. And it is unforgivable” he pauses to laugh “that you would ask me to devote a single second of my time to help you achieve your fucking dreams. What dreams Tetsurou? You never had any!”

“Is that what you and Koutarou are doing? Living the dream?”

“Yes, that is exactly what the fuck we’re doing.”

“Then how come you hate him.”

Kei’s mouth falls open 

“You do. It’s obvious you do. You can feel him giving up already, even though he’s not going to retire until you let him.”

“He is a grown man, he can do whatever he wants.”

“Sure sure, but he doesn’t, he does whatever you want. Except now, he’s not even pretending to like it.”

Tetsurou sighs “he’s dreaming about, eating hamburgers again.. sleeping in, making doing some commentary on the sports channel. He’s ready to be dead. And now you’re realizing you might not want to be buried with him, because what is he to you if he’s not playing tennis?”

“So that’s what you think he is to me? A racket and a dick.”

Tetsurou shrugs before looking into his eyes “does Koutarou know about Atlanta?” He asks quieter. 

Kei looks shocked. 

“You keep saying you came here because Koutarou needed matches.. but I think you came for something else..”  

Kei chuckles “you think I came here for you? You think I came here to throw it allllll away, for you.” 

“Maybe you just wanted to see me.”

“I have seen you, you look like shit” Kei starts to walk away. 

“I’m going to beat him.”

Kei stops. 

“If we both make it to the finals, I’m going to beat him.”

Kei turns around “even if you could beat him, it wouldn’t change anything.”

“It’ll break him, you know it will.”

“It won’t make you. Okay? It’s too late for that” he turns to walk away again. Tetsurou rushes forward and slips a piece of paper into his hand, for a second feeling the warmth of each other. 

“My number, in case you change your mind about the coaching.”

“I won’t” Kei walks away, sliding it into his back pocket. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - evening 

Umpires phone ticks down: 0:16, 0:15, 0:14…

On his bench, Koutarou’s got his eyes closed. He breathes in and exhales slowly. Tetsurou looks over at him with resentment. 

The umpires alarm goes off. 

“Time!”

Tetsurou takes the court to serve, Koutarou to return. He looks at Koutarou from across the net, then to Kei in the stands. 

“First service, Kuroo”

Tetsurou goes into his motion:

Thwacckkk!!

Set Three 

K. Bokuto: 2, 6, 0 - 0

T. Kuroo:   6, 3, 0 - 0

Practice court in Atlanta Open - Day

Eleven years earlier, 2011. 

Kei feeds balls to Koutarou’s backhand as a few spectators watch - Koutarou’s already becoming a big deal in tennis, so some of them have their phone cameras out, sneaking videos. 

Someone approaches the court and sits in the stand. 

Kei notices it from the corner of his eye and lets one of Koutarou’s shots sail right past him. Koutarou looks over and sees Tetsurou sitting there. He’s got his feet propped up, wearing Kei’s old shirt as he drinks from a can. 

They all look at each other for a moment before Koutarou turns to Kei, smoldering and determined, ready for the next ball. 

He feeds him one and he steps into it, hitting an absolute monstrous forehand that sounds like a gunshot: 

Thwaaccck!!!

Steam room at the New Rochelle Country Club - day 

The day before the final. 

Koutarou sits, meditating, as a towel sits over his face. The wind was so bad today that playing simply wasn’t an option, and it’s thrown both him and Kei’s tight schedule for a loop. All he wants to do is get some peace and quiet. 

Unfortunately for him, the door opens, and the absolutely last person that is going to make that possible for him walks in. 

“Can you do me a favor?” 

Koutarou takes off the towel from his face. 

“Can you not- demolish me tomorrow?” He smiles, repeating what Koutarou had once asked him. Now, the odds are in his favor, what a switch.

Tetsurou has just a towel around his neck, dick swinging as he puts a knee up beside Koutarou and rinses himself off using the shower head in the room. 

Koutarou just looks at him. 

“Congrats on being a Phil’s Tire Town Challenger finalist.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Koutarou looks like he’s about to get up.

“Kou. Cmon, can we talk?”

Koutarou looks him up and down “can you put your dick away?”

“This is a steam room” Tetsurou walks to the side of the room and sits down with his towel in his lap. 

“What do you want to talk about?”

“We’ve been here for a week, and we haven’t said two words to each other. I don’t want to go into the match tomorrow feeling like this. It’s just.. it’s silly man, it’s dramatic.”

Koutarou doesn't say anything. 

“I mean, really: why are you still so angry with me?”

“That’s a serious question?”

Tetsurou tilts his head “I don’t buy that it’s because of Kei. Or I don’t think it’s because of what happened with him. I think you're just… really disturbed that she could’ve been with someone like me.” 

Koutarou stares “when we were teenagers.” 

“Huh” Tetsurou slowly beams like he knows something the other doesn’t “when we were teenagers.” 

Hotel sitting room - Atlanta - night  

Eight years earlier. 

Kei sits alone in the dim sitting room, listening to a sports commentator speak on an up

and coming women’s player. He’s swirling around his glass, looking down at the giant diamond on his finger. It’s obvious he’s had a few, perhaps sulking. The tv mentions Koutarou and he looks up to see his husband’s face. He sighs. He’d left his husband alone to sleep while he ‘went for a walk.’ 

He should be happy, he had everything. Money, a loving husband, fame. But it wasn’t his fame, and even though the other tried he wasn’t able to hide the fact that Kei would always care more about tennis than he did. It made Kei angry, that Koutarou could have everything, a fucking useful set of legs, and not the same passion. 

Suddenly a figure walks across the doorway. He looks up slowly to see none other than his ex, standing in shock as he stares at Kei through the darkness. It feels like he’s looking right into his soul. 

Kei watches as he enters the lobby and comes to stand right beside him. “Kei” there’s almost delight in his voice.  Kei can hardly raise his eyes, but when he does he sees that Tetsurou is  studying him. His own eyes are tired, and full of a deep sadness as he meets his gaze. With himself, with his life, with his relationship when he shouldn’t. But Kei was selfish, just like Tetsurou, a hard realization. Tetsurou knew how ugly he was, he never had to hide it. Because he was ugly too. 

Of course, unluckily for him, not on the outside. He looked good, still scrappy but much older. His features are more defined, his hair curlier and his eyes older, and so damn intense. 

“Seeing you with a drink still weirds me out. I keep thinking Akiteru is going to come over and smack it out of your hands.”

“Akiteru’s in the hospital, liver failure” it was almost ironic. 

“Fuck. Jesus. I’m sorry.”

He laughs “don’t be, he hated you.” 

“We didn’t know each other..”

“He knew about you. And as far as he was concerned you were the boy who I let ruin my life.”

Tetsurou is sitting down now and it physically hits him, Kei watches him process it as he taps his knuckles against the table. 

“You lost, why are you still here?” Kei brings the rim of the glass to his lips, Tetsurou’s never seen him look so not uptight, he’s even slouching. Well, except for when they fucked. 

“The qualifiers for the Open aren’t for a couple more days. I’d rather waste money on a hotel room in Georgia than New York.”

“You’re not supposed to stick around after you lose. You’re supposed to run home with your tail between your legs.”

“I know, it’s like you’ve been banished or something.”

“More like you’re so ashamed that the only thing you can do is go back to the drawing board.”

“Well, maybe if I had a coach, they’d be punishing me with practice right now, but I don’t, so I get to hang around in lovely Atlanta for a few more days.”

Kei looks out the window “practice isn’t supposed to be a punishment, not if you love the game.” 

Tetsurou takes a sip from his own drink as he looks at him. 

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“Can I say something about what happened to you?”

“No.”

Kei starts to get up 

“Kei-“

“Why don’t we talk about what’s happening to you.”

“I’m trying to apologize.”

Kei leans in to his face “you didn’t do anything to me, I did it all to myself.” His glares, he certainly didn’t need to hear Tetsurou’s guilt, or make him feel better. He didn’t need the other telling himself he was the reason Kei ended up like this, not that Tetsurou would get any satisfaction from the fact. 

“It was an accident” he reaches for Kei’s hand, who simply looks down at it. 

“I don’t care what it was anymore, it’s just hard for me to look at you. You make me feel like a very stupid little boy.”

They both look at each other 

“I’m really proud of you, Kei”  What was up with the two of them and saying that? Was it really that surprising he hadn’t leaped off a building yet? Drunk himself to death like Akiteru was doing? 

“Oh for fucks sake…”

“What you’re doing with Kou is incredible.”

“I know it is” he finally takes his hand away, sitting back down. 

“I really am rooting for him.” 

Kei studies his face, and notices his drink is empty. 

“Let me get you some water”

He stares at him 

“Come on Kei, you always had the worst hangovers.” 

“I can take care of myself. You don’t look so hot either.”

“I can handle my alcohol”

“Looks like we’re both moping then.”

“We’re like my dad” Tetsurou says unbothered now 

They both laugh, knowing all about that. 

“I missed your laugh..”

Kei rolls his eyes, sitting back “yeah, Kou makes me laugh a lot.”

“So why are you down here instead of sleeping with your boyfriend then?”

“Fiancé. He asked me to marry him before we came here” he shows off the diamond “his grandma’s.” 

Tetsurou’s eyes widen “and you said yes?” He can’t accept it even as he looks at the proof. 

“Of course I said yes. Why else would I be telling you?” 

“Jesus.”

“I think the word you’re looking for his congratulations.”

“Yeah. Wow. Congratulations.”

“We haven’t gone public with it. Actually, we haven’t told anybody. I don’t know why I just told you.”

“I guess you wanted me to know.”

“I guess I did” he shrugs, taking Tetsurou’s drink for a sip. Tetsurou eyes the ring as he does, which doesn’t stop him from thinking that Kei’s mouth is where his just was. 

“Why not go public with it?” 

“I don’t want people asking us about it in every press conference before the Open.”

“Who cares, aren’t you excited?”

“Of course I’m excited. What are you getting at?”

“I’m just trying to figure out why you aren’t up there with him the night before the big match.”

“I’m loud when I’m tossing and turning. He needs sleep.” 

Tetsurou just looks at him.

“You don’t believe me?”

“You’re not very convincing.”

“I don’t care what you find convincing” he scoffs. 

Tetsurou gets up and returns with a water from the small mini fridge. He forces it into Kei’s face who snatches it with a small thanks and presses it against his warm cheek. 

“I’d imagine it’s hard… watching him climb the rankings, with slams” Tetsurou leans back, hands behind his head. He stretches and his shirt rides up, showing his abs and black hair leading down to his..

“He hasn’t won any slams yet.”

“Sure, but he’s going to.”

“Is it hard for you?”

Tetsurou spreads his fingers behind his head and makes a point of flicking his eyes to the side “of course it is. His whole career feels like one big judgment of all the ways I can’t get my shit together.”

Kei takes a sip and laughs 

“What?”

“You still think you’re better than him. you still think your potential mean’s something.” 

He doesn’t say anything. 

“Have you considered that it doesn’t? That he was always going to be the winner?”

“I think that you and I - and he - all know that the only reason he’s winning is because of you.”

“So what? He’s still winning. All that matters is what actually happens, ‘if’ is a drug for losers.”

“So it’s not hard for you?”

“Why would it be? Kou’s my man. We’re doing something together. We’re building a life together. It’s a relationship.”

It doesn’t feel right coming out of his mouth and they both know it. 

“Is that what you wanted with me?”

Kei laughs “are you serious?”

“Yeah. This is a safe space.”

“You weren’t interested in a real relationship.”

“I was interested.”

“Well, you weren’t capable.”

“Neither were you. Maybe not then..”

“What- now? You’ve changed your mind so fast in the last five years?” He scoffs 

“I don’t know.”

“You’re exactly the same fucking guy you were then. That’s why you keep tanking your matches. Tennis got hard. Tennis became work. Tennis made you feel normal. And you hate feeling normal. The whole point of the game for you was that it made you feel high. But Koutarou’s become completely content with sober.”

“And you like that about him? His sobriety?”

“Clearly I like something about it.”

“I know it makes sense to you, but does it turn you on?”

Kei just looks at him 

“I think I’ve reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.”

“You’re going to marry the guy, the least you should be able to say whether he turns you on. Because the Kei I knew hated sober, hated boring. And man, he’s boring. You liked me because I was a freak, I was free.”

“Yeah, well I was young. Competence turns me on. maturity turns me on.”

“Koutarou’s mature?”

“More than you. I mean of course there’s a ceiling but at least he knows it. At least he’s ashamed of it. And believe me, the shame turns me on. Big time.”

“So why aren’t you up there, riding him into tomorrow morning, like you did me before big matches.” 

“See, immature. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“I think that you’re realizing that soon it’s going to be too late.”

“Too late for what?”

“He’s going to become Koutarou Bokuto. You’re going to become Kei Bokuto instead of the other way around.”

“I’m not about to become anything. I’ve always been exactly who I am.”

Tetsurou laughs “yeah, you’re right. That’s why me and Kou would’ve murdered each other over your phone number.”

Kei smiles “I thought you weren’t threatened by him.”

There’s a beat. 

“How would he feel about us two sitting here?”

“How do you feel about the two of us getting married.”

“Honestly, it causes me a tremendous amount of pain.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m serious. When you told me now, it felt like someone stabbed me in the chest.”

“Good.”

“That’s what you always wanted right? For me to be in pain?”

“Well I’m experiencing it. Especially because every one of my urges is telling me to take you to my room and fuck you until you can only think of me. What do I do now?” 

They stare at each other, something dark and powerful passing between them. 

They leave the room empty. It’s wild, it’s passionate, it’s everything missing from him and Koutarou, at least on his side. Not that Koutarou didn’t absolutely fuck him to sleep when he could. 

They don’t make it to the bedroom. To slip into the bathroom and lock the door, fucking pressed against the sink. Tetsurou makes him look at his reflection and repeat his name until his throat is raw. 

Back to the steam room

“You’re right, I do find it disturbing.”

Tetsurou laughs “there’s no need, man. Lots of girls were into me, none of them wanted to marry me, it’s not what I was for.”

“What were you for?” Koutarou jabs  

Hotel lobby hallway - Atlanta - Night 

Koutarou comes out of the elevator, rubbing his face tiredly. He looks like he’s just woken up, because he has. He’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, walking into the hallway when he catches a glimpse of kei in the sitting room doorway. 

Tetsurou’s there, and they’re talking quietly. He wonders if he’s still dreaming

”Koutarou Bokuto?” He turns to see a woman and what looks to be her boyfriend behind him. 

“Oh my god, I can't believe my luck that I would run into you so late at night. Um, would you..” she turns and finds what she’s looking for. She takes her boyfriends hat, a simple cap but something to sign. 

“Sure” he smiles and she hands it out, eyeing him with excitement as he signs his name in loud handwriting as always. 

“There you go” 

“Thank you” she bows and walks away

“Thank you.”

When he turns back, the room is empty. He looks around, confused, but finds no hint of the two. His eyes train on the wall, jaw shifting in deep thought.

Steam room, again 

Tetsurou just looks at him silently with a smile. There’s almost yearning in his eyes, a silent ‘you’ in the air. Quickly the smugness was back, it was easy, it was his defense.

“Honestly, I thought you’d be happy I was in the draw. You’ve always wanted to beat me at a tournament, didn’t you? Especially the week before the Open. It’s the perfect confidence booster.” 

“I know what you’re trying to do right now” Koutarou practically sings as he tilts his head back. He wouldn’t fall for anything Tetsurou did anymore. 

He laughs “I’m not trying to do anything. This is a challenger. I don’t have to play mind games with you.” 

“Right. You don’t give a shit.”

Tetsurou pauses “I didn't say that.” 

“We both know you have considerably more at stake here than I do.”

“Do I?” He grins 

Koutarou looks at him for a long beat. 

“Where do you get your swagger from?” He suddenly asks, they both laugh. Tetsurou’s unsure what he means. 

“I mean- you walk in here- swinging your dick around like I’m supposed to be afraid of it but.. do you realize how embarrassing it is that you’re here right now?”

“I’m just stopping by, man” he shrugs 

“This is where you live” he states firmly, leaning in “you know, I always tried to figure out what happened to you, but, you know, the more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize..”

Tetsurou leans in, curious 

He sighs “it’s what didn’t happen.”

Kuroo has a hint of solemn on his face, just looking up at him. 

“You never grew up, you think you can still talk to me like you’re my peer, because we came from the same place. But it’s not about what you come from in tennis, Tetsurou.” he said his name like it a curse, 

“It’s about winning. And I do, a lot.” Theres a gleam in his big golden eyes, slicing right into Tetsurou with no grace. He seems so much higher up right now, untouchable, though he knows he’s not. Tetsurou smirks 

“You’ve never beaten me,” Tetsurou says silently.  

“So what?” He laughs “I’ve never beaten most of the guys who play at these things. This is a game about winning the points that matter!” 

“I don’t matter?”

Koutarou looks at him again, like he’s not even something worth his gaze. “Not even to the most obsessive tennis player in the world. Even if you did, beating me is a nice story for you to tell people when you're giving them tennis lessons, but I guarantee you the thing they'll all be the most excited about is that you met me at all. 

They'll ask you what I'm like. They'll ask you if I'm nice. They'll ask you if we were friends. And then they'll ask you how I did it. They'll ask you to teach them how to be like me. And you won't have a fucking clue what to tell them. I mean, I could try to explain it to you, but the truth is that you don't really want to know. You just want to keep telling yourself whatever worthless stories you've been telling yourself about why our lives have turned out the way they have. And even if you did want to know, I couldn't possibly explain it to you in a language you'll understand, because the thing you learn when you've been operating at my level for as long as I have is that it's so fucking lonely to win this much. Nobody gets it. But everyone on Earth gets what it's like to be you.”

He has no words to speak, he just lets Koutarou get it all out. 

“The only reason ESPN is here to cover a fucking challenger tomorrow is that people like looking at my face because they think it might help them solve the mystery of how I have what I have. But you’re getting a close up look right now, so you should understand better than anybody: there is no fucking mystery - you just can have it.” 

Tetsurou thinks of blonde hair “we’re not talking about tennis.”

“What the fuck else do I have to talk to you about?” He stands up and wraps his towel around his waist.

“I wanted to come in here and wish you luck Koutarou” he says almost sadly and chuckles.  

“That makes no sense.”

“I wanted to say I’m looking forward to it. And I miss playing with you.”

“Yeah” Koutarou looks to the side. The admission makes his mouth feel sour. 

“Hmm.”

“Well, I don’t miss playing with you, man” his face falls, pounding the door with his fist and making it fly open as he still looks at him “I’m too old for it.”

Koutarou and Kei’s room — later 

Koutarou finishes getting ready for bed in the grand bathroom. He’s shirtless, in his sweatpants, and exhausted. Not so much from physical exertion, but mental. He keeps thinking about the locker room, of Kei, of the match tomorrow, of Atlanta that Kei doesn’t know he knows. He doesn’t even know if he knows anything, but he’s got reasonable suspicion. 

He leans against the doorframe into the bedroom. Kei has opened up his lotion, spreading it on his legs as per his daily routine. 

“Tell me it doesn’t matter.”

 Kei gives him one short look over his shoulder “what?”

Koutarou stands up straighter, arms crossed “tell me it doesn’t matter if I win tomorrow.” 

Kei rubs the lotion over his arms as he looks out the window “no.”

He places the lotion back on the nightstand and turns his body to face Koutarou who’s been watching him this whole time. 

“You’re the professional competitor, you tell me if it matters tomorrow.”

“I can’t help but feel like once we step onto that court, we’re going to be seventeen again.”

“You think you’re playing for my number?” He takes his glasses off and places them aside. 

“I’ve been playing for your number for years.”

“We’re married.”

“That’s just something I used to trap you with me.”

“You’re saying you didn’t want to marry me?” 

“No! God no. Kei, I love you. It’s just.. I don’t know what it would mean if I still can’t beat Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“What does it mean to you?”

“It would mean that I choked. There's no way he’s better than me. Not anymore. So it would mean I got beaten by a teenager.”

“You’ve been getting beaten by teenagers all year, it’s an occupational hazard.”

“I’m talking about me. If I lose to Patrick, it means I got beaten by seventeen year Tetsurou Kuroo again. How are you going to look at me if I let that happen?”

“Exactly like this” Kei puts on his normal face of indifference, which really isn’t comforting at all. 

“It can’t just be about avoiding my judgement, I’m not a nun and I’m not your mommy.”

“I know that I just want you to tell me you’ll love me no matter what.”

Kei laughs “what am I? Jesus?”

“Yeah.”

“You know you can win.”

“What if I don’t.”

“Figure it out.”

“It feels like I have to.”

“Nobody has to win a tennis match. There’s just two people who really, really want to.”

They look at each other in silence. Koutarou turns to his side, back against the doorframe. 

“I’m going to say something, and it’s probably going to make you angry, but I want you to hear me out.”

He gets Deja vu, choosing to stay silent. 

“I want to retire this year whether we win the Open or not.” 

Silence. 

“I’m still gonna try. I’m still gonna go for it. But I’m tired. I don’t have anything to prove anymore, and I don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t know when to walk away. It’s embarrassing to still be doing this shit in your forties.”

“Okay” Kei says calmly, but Koutarou can feel him slipping faster away, somewhere far and unreachable. 

“Okay?”

“If you want to quit tennis, you can quit tennis, you don’t need my permission” he shakes his head. 

Koutarou lays on the bed, holding Kei’s hand and pulling one knee up off the floor. 

“We’ve been doing this together. I’ve been playing for the both of us, I know that.”

“I’m just your coach, I work for you.”

“Coach me then.”

“I am coaching you”

Koutarou looks at him, he needs more 

Kei bites his lip and looks away

“if you don’t win tomorrow, I’ll leave you.” 

Koutarou hangs his head down on the bed. 

“Seriously, does that help you?” Kei’s voice shrinks in sadness, running his fingernails against Koutarou’s hair. 

He slowly raises to face him as Kei holds his cheek in his hand, caressing it. His eyes are red. 

Koutarou turns and kisses his palm. Kei watches with sad eyes and a pout as Koutarou kisses his fingers, then his knee, and slowly up his arm. He kisses his shoulder, and finally his forehead. Kei lets his head rest against his chin. 

They stay there, holding each other. This is their whole life, their marriage. The two of them are overwhelmed with emotion, wondering if they can handle it, what will happen to them. They’re shattered. 

“Can you just, hold me until I fall asleep?”

Koutarou rests his head in Kei’s lap now, as he drags his fingernails against his scalp “okay” he speaks softly. 

Same hotel room - later 

Koutarou is asleep while Kei lays awake next to him. He looks over at Koutarou - he’s snoring.  He looks at the clock: it’s just past midnight. 

Quietly so he doesn’t wake him, he gets out of bed. 

He creeps around the living room, holding some clothes. 

He pulls his big sweatshirt on before sitting on the bench near the entrance and digging into his jacket for something.

He feels suffocated, by the silence, by Koutarou who needs him to be present, to be supportive, by the knowledge that it’s over and he’s still not satisfied. Because he can only live through the other so much, and he’s about to retire knowing his dream is still impossible. 

Koutarou got the career he always wanted, and he’s still just a sad story. He couldn’t expect Koutarou to put up with it forever, work himself tirelessly to comfort some side of Kei that told him he needed to be doing something with his talent. 

Kei looks down at his phone and the paper Tetsurou had given him, typing it into his messages. 

His phone lights his face, the room is completely silent besides Koutarou’s light snoring. 

He looks back at the screen and types out a message. 

> pick me up outside the hotel in 15 minutes. 

He hesitates before pressing send, then he has to wait with his heart pounding and the realization of what he just did. 

Tetsurou sends back a thumbs up emoji. Kei places his head into his hands and grips his hair. 

Ritz Carlton driveway - night 

Kei runs out of the entrance to the building in his sweatshirt to the beat up car across the street. The wind is still just as furious as during the daytime and papers are flying all across the street and car windshield. Kei gets in the backseat. 

“What are you-?” 

“Just drive.”

The car 

“I told the valley guy you’re my Uber.”

Tetsurou laughs, looking sleepy in his sweatpants and t-shirt. “I’m sure he doesn’t give a shit. You don’t have to act like we’re pulling off a bank heist.”

“Just pull over somewhere.”

Suburban street 

Tetsurou pulls over the car and shuts it off. Kei exits and climbs into the backseat, struggling to shut the door against the wind. It roars outside, which makes the inside that more silent. It’s warm, and the air feels heavy. He pushes some stray bang pieces behind his ears. 

“We shouldn’t stay here too long. I don’t want someone to think I’m a hooker and call the cops.”

“We can go back to my hotel, the money just came in this afternoon” Tetsurou suggests with his hand on the wheel.

“I’m not here to fuck you, Tetsurou”

“..you aren’t? Oh” he exhales out his mouth, bummed by this. 

“So what are you here for?”

“To talk to you”

“At midnight before the final?”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.. what’s on your mind? Do you want to be my coach?”

Kei looks ahead “I want you to lose tomorrow.”

“I’m aware of that.”

Kei hesitantly looks at him, “I’m asking you to lose tomorrow.” 

Tetsurou laughs “fuck off”

He looks over to see if he’s serious, he is. 

“He’s doing really well this week, he’s ready to come back. He’s ready to make a shot at the open, and if he beats you tomorrow, he’ll know he can do it… he needs this.”

“He needs this?” Tetsurou scoffs and looks at him like he cannot be actually asking this. 

“Yes.”

“What about what I need?” He sighs and faces the steering wheel “I mean fucking me would be one thing, but this? This is unforgivable. I don’t give you enough credit for being an asshole.”

“Actually, I’m being incredibly fucking nice to the both of you right now.”

Tetsurou glares back at him “No. No fucking way.”

“Drive me back to my fucking hotel.”

Tetsurou shakes his head and laughs as his arm lays over the wheel. 

“Drive the fucking car, Tetsurou.”

Suddenly Tetsurou is nose to nose with him. He has his arm around the seat behind kei, glaring into his eyes with the same fire. “You know what the most frustrating part of this whole thing is?” 

“What?” Kei spits 

“You know what really drives me crazy. You did come here to fuck me! But you’re so full of shit you can't even admit it to yourself.”

Kei’s lips twitches “if it’s the only way to make you throw the match, then sure.”

“Go fuck yourself. You absolute loser.” Tetsurou turns to the wheel and starts up the car. 

“I’m the loser?”

“Yeah, yeah you are. Look at you.” He pulls off the side of the street and back onto the main road “time for your uber driver to drop you back off to your husband” he scoffs. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - late evening 

Thwacckkk!!

K. Bokuto: 2, 6, 6 - 0

T. Kuroo:   6, 3, 5 - 15

Tetsurou serves to stay in the match. 

They rally, really running each other around the court, both of them starting to feel the exhaustion setting in. Tetsurou wins a point at the net. 

“Thirty - love”

He looks at Kei, who seems like he’s in pain. He goes into his service motion. 

Tetsurou’s car

They ride back, not looking at each other. 

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

Kei looks over at him. 

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Because I want you to actually do it, so I need you to know that you understand why.”

“I’m not married to you Kei, just be happy I’m doing what you want and shut up about it.

“You are such a fucking child.”

“Of course I am, I’ve spent my whole life hitting a ball with a racket.”

“Why the fuck am I in your car?”

“Because you’re stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

Tetsurou laughs “I know, I’m just not as disturbed by it as you are. I don’t have nearly that high of an opinion on myself.”

“You are the most egotistical person I have ever met in my life.”

“Oh, sure, sure” he shrugs and smirks “but I’ve never been confused by the fact that I’m a piece of shit.”

Kei sighs. 

“That’s what you like about me.”

“I don’t like anything about you.”

“No. You like precisely one thing about me, and that is that I am such a piece of shit that I could actually see you for what you are.”

“And what is that?” He’s sitting forwards. 

“In reality…” Tetsurou pauses, his grin growing “a really.. insanely hot man.”

“Oh, fuck off.” 

“I guess now you’d say a dilf” he laughs wildly. 

“Pull over.”

“We’re almost back at the hotel, don’t be dramatic.”

“Pull the fucking car over, Tetsurou.”

“Fine, let me… fine.”

As soon as he pulls into a vacant parking lot, Kei jumps out the car and heads in the opposite direction against the wind. 

Tetsurou gets out, holding his arm in front of his face “hey! Hey! Your hotel’s that way!”

Kei turns and faces him. The wind is so harsh and papers are flying so wildly all over the place he sees Tetsurou in the red headlights of the car like a film strip. 

There’s them in bed together giggling. Them hugging after a big win with huge smiles on their face. Them disagreeing about the future over dinner and Kei losing his appetite.

There’s red hot, heat.  

He walks up to Tetsurou, looking at him eye to eye. 

“Are you going to hit me again?” Tetsurou asks. 

Kei spits in his face, hard. Tetsurou can only stare back at him in shock before Kei’s grabbing him and smashes their lips together. They kiss desperately, vengefully, grasping over each other as Kei presses him against the side of the car. 

Kei’s fingertips run down his mouth, pulling his lip downwards as Tetsurou grins. Kei thrusts his hands down into Tetsurou’s pants and is surprised to see he’s already hard. 

“I’ve been driving with it the past five minutes.” 

“Idiot,” they start making out. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - late evening 

Thwacckkk!!

K. Bokuto: 2, 6, 6 - 0

T. Kuroo:   6, 3, 5 - 30

They rally, Tetsurou now determined to close out the rally on Koutarou’s serve. He sends the ball into the net. 

Koutarou pumps his fist. Kei grits his teeth in the stands. 

“Thirty - fifteen”

Reset. 

Thwaccckk!!

Koutarou hits his return to Tetsurou’s backhand. Tetsurou gets his racket on it, but the ball goes flying out. 

“Thirty - all”

Koutarou looks at Kei, the finish line is in sight. 

Tetsurou’s car

The two of them lay naked in the backseat, cramped and cuddled up under a blanket he had draped over it. The windows are steamed up. 

“I don’t get it” his hand is against Tetsurou’s bare chest, feeling the rise of it, the heat of his skin. Tetsurou has his chin against the side of his head, but looks at him now. 

“There’s tons of talented, entitled pieces of shit who have a few tough times time first few years on tour, but I always thought you do something about it eventually. But you just never did. It was like you wanted to keep losing.”

“I don’t know. It felt wrong to try so hard.”

Kei looks at him 

“I fucked up your whole life. It didn’t seem fair for me to all of a sudden start taking my tennis seriously after you got injured.” 

Kei scoffs “so now I’m responsible for the death of two careers?” He asks softly, solemnly

“No. I’m responsible. just me. Maybe if It had occurred to me back then that I should just ask you to be my coach, things would’ve turned out differently. But like I said: I’m very stupid.”

“You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah.” They both chuckle 

“I can't even fathom being as stupid as you are.” 

A beat. 

“I miss watching you play Kei, you were so beautiful.” He’s never been more sincere about anything else in his life. 

They share a long look now. 

“You have to make him feel like he earned it tomorrow. You can’t just give it up in the middle of the match.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He asks softly, smoothing a blonde curl between his fingertips. 

“What else could I want?” 

He doesn’t say anything, he pats down the curl instead. 

“How will I know if you’re gonna do it?” Kei asks, looking at the back of the passenger seat with worry. 

“You won't” Tetsurou answers, kissing his head. 

After a while of just laying in each others arms silently, Kei whispers “let’s go.”

When Kei gets home, he finds the bed empty. He checks the bathroom, the living room, and eventually cracks open the guest bedroom to find Koutarou laying flat atop the crumbled comforter. 

He gazes at him, eyes falling to the foot of the bed, before closing the door and going to his own bed now. They were all exhausted, tomorrow couldn’t come any faster. 

Phil’s Tire Town Challenger - late evening 

K. Bokuto: 2, 6, 6 - 30

T. Kuroo:   6, 3, 5 - 30

Thwacckk!

Tetsurou sends his first serve into the net. 

Reset. 

Thwaacckkk!

It goes wide. 

“Out!”

A few people gasp at the double fault. 

Match point

Both of the boys are at their limit, and so is Kei who’s now at the edge of his seat. The boys are slick with sweat, their clothes sticking to their body’s as it runs down their faces like they were standing under an invisible rain cloud. 

They’re exhausted, they’re not relenting, in a few minutes this match would be over and one of them would be the winner. The direct results it would have on their lives? Time would tell. Right now, they’re all in this moment together, as if this game is the only thing in the entire world. 

“Thirty - forty”

Tetsurou looks at Kei. He bounces the ball and goes into service motion. 

Thwaacckk!

“Out!”

“Second service.”

Kei wrings his fingers is he doing it?

Tetsurou is serving. He takes a deep breath, bounces the ball, and pauses in his service motion. 

Time slows down, all eyes are what he would do next. Koutarou is crouched across the net, ready and practically itching to get the ball on his side so he smash it. 

He looks at Koutarou, then at Kei who’s holding his breath. 

He looks back at Koutarou. He’s confused why he isn’t serving. 

He starts his motion over again. He stops. 

“Time violation. Warning, Kuroo.”

No one in the audience dares break whatever is happening. 

Tetsurou goes into his service motion again, but this time he does Koutarou’s service motion, just like when they were seventeen. 

Thwaacck!

It’s a clean, un-returnable ace. 

Koutarou doesn’t even move. He just stands there. 

“Forty all”

Tetsurou has a small grin now. 

They only stare at each other now, like gunslingers in an old western. Kei has no idea what’s going on. 

Koutarou looks at Kei, then at Tetsurou. 

Tetsurou nods. 

“Fuck off.” 

Koutarou walks to the side of the court, hands on his hips as he stares directly at Kei. Kei doesn’t know exactly what they just communicated, but he thinks he does. Koutarou looks right through him like he knows.

Tetsurou smiles. 

“Code violation. Verbal obscenity. Point penalty, Bokuto. Koutarou, you need to get into position.”

Koutarou doesn’t move, still looking at Kei as the crowd grumbles now. 

He looks down, sweat dripping off the peak of his nose onto the ground. 

He moves to return. 

Tetsurou goes into Koutarou’s service motion again. 

Thwaaccckkk!

Another ace. 

“Set is tied at 6 games all. We will now go into a tiebreak, Koutarou to serve.”

Koutarou is looking at Kei who is looking at Tetsurou, and then over at him when he feels the look. 

He can now see that Kei knows exactly what is happening. 

Both men look at each other across the net as they wipe themselves down with towels: let’s really play now.

Koutarou goes into his service motion. 

Thwaacckkk!

He sends the ball screaming violently right at Tetsurou like he’s trying to take his head off. Tetsurou has to dodge it and it hits the wall directly beside him. 

“Out!” 

Then he smiles. So does Tetsurou. 

“Second service”

He takes the ball now and sends in another one, just as hot. This time it’s good. 

Tetsurou pounces on the return, and they rally. It’s clear immediately both of them are playing their best tennis in years, the best tennis of their lives. They smack the ball furiously, vengefully, looking wildly alive. 

Kei has his head swiveling back and forth at exactly the match he’d always wanted to see, only possible through over a decade of three intertwined relationships. His anxiousness turns to exhilaration. 

Thwacckk!

Thwacckk!

Thwacckk!

Thwacckk!

He grits his teeth and clenches his fist. plays as Koutarou, he plays as Tetsurou, he plays as the ball itself. 

Thwacckk!

Thwacckk!

Thwacckk!

Koutarou leaps hire to return a ball at the net then thought possible, Tetsurou gaping at him right underneath. 

He swings and hits the ball, falling into the net before it hits the ground. 

Tetsurou catches him, the both of them grinning and hugging each other. 

The crowd cheers and Kei leaps to his feet. 

COME ON!!!!