Chapter Text
“darlin’, darlin’, darlin’
I fall to pieces when I’m with you
I fall to pieces”
-cherry by lana del rey
Ding. Ding.
*prettyboy32 has tipped $20*
“Thank you for the tip prettyboy32”
I blow a small kiss of gratitude towards my webcam.
Leaning in a little closer, I give the fans a better view of my chest, earning a wave of comments that are filling up the chat.
I guess they are really are enjoying this new black lace set tonight.
Bigdick9870987: baby I want to see more <3
hornyforu69: god you’re so perfect
officenerd123: please stop teasing us im so close
prettyboy32: my beautiful angel <3333
pussylvr4vr: show me ur tits !
tallngirthee8476: need 2 c dat sweet pussy of urs
Scrolling down, I see that they get progressively more provocative and worse, but that is too be expected in my line of work.
Placing my chin on my palm, I look up at the camera with a smirk.
“You all know the rules, if you want a peek, it’s not for free” I say with a wink.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Small tips, comments and emojis start coming in.
I’ve been building my fanbase off horny and desperate men for 3 years now. 15k subscribers/fans and counting on this site. A career I stumbled upon by accident and not on purpose, has been my scarlet letter that I wear proudly everyday.
Being one of the most popular creators on camgirlz has it’s perks sometimes.
Camgirlz is a website built for girls like me that will feed into men’s deepest desires in exchange for money. I’ve learned to take back my shame and use it as a weapon of armor to protect myself, even if it means being physically vulnerable in front of thousands of people every night.
My rates are usually higher, and because of that, I still don’t make enough because the lack of private cam requests.
I make the money up with my second job at the bookstore I work at during the day.
I do my best to keep my identity a secret by covering half of my face and only go by my handle sweetcherrykat online.
Even with the amount of followers that I have, I can’t ever catch up with the amount of bills that come in. The site takes most of what I make, so the second job is my life line.
Ding.
My eyes move towards the top of my right screen.
RoguePhantom89 has requested a private video chat.
My eyes widen at the request.
It’s been a while since I’ve done a private cam, but what catches my eye is not just that I’ve never noticed this user interact in the chat before or request me, but the amount of money he requested me for is $2,000.
My rate is $500 for 20 minutes, and this man just dropped two thousand on me.
What the actual fuck.
I look back towards the camera with a small smile on my mauve colored lips.
“I’m so sorry my loves, I have just been requested for the night. I’ll see you boys tomorrow” I say with a teasing voice as I wave goodbye at the
camera and blow it a kiss.
Comments start coming in begging me to stay and I quickly close the video chat and click accept on the request.
Here is where it’s different for my private cams.
My lingerie comes off, I masturbate, use toys, and usually everything is fair game of what the fan asks of me as long as it’s within my means that’s highlighted under my do’s and dont’s that’s on my page.
My biggest don’t is that the lacy mask I have on currently, never comes off and I will never give out my name.
Fans usually never ask, but there’s been a couple of scary incidents in the past that made me raise my prices and block a couple of users for violating my policies.
Every camgirl is different in terms of what they’re willing to do, to say, and show. Fans usually show their face in the video chat but most of them choose to keep their webcams off.
I am curious to see if this fan will turn on their video, I would like to know who’s hiding behind all that money.
I wait for the user to connect as I sit back in my pink velvet chair and quickly make sure my long black hair that’s falling off my shoulders is in place.
RoguePhantom89 is now connected.
His screen is dark but his audio is on. Hmm I guess I won’t be seeing his face this time.
“Hi RoguePhantom89, you’re the lucky fan for the night” I give my best flirty smile towards the camera.
There’s a single pause of silence but then the sound of a man with a soft and deep tenor voice breaks through the audio.
“It’s nice to finally meet you sweetcherrykat”
I smile at the sound of my username falling off this man’s lips.
“It’s my pleasure RoguePhantom89. What are you looking for tonight?” I lean back in my chair and slowly trace my fingers down my lacy black bra.
“I would just like to sit and have a conversation with you for the night”
“Just a conversation? Would you like for me to take anything off or use anything on myself? You paid for 80 minutes, so I’ll do anything you ask of me” asking a bit confused.
There’s no way he just dropped two thousand just to chat with me.
I hear him let out a soft laugh from his end, God, that’s such an infectious sound.
“No, baby, I would like to just talk with you for the night. That would be enough for me, if that is alright with you?”
Jesus fucking christ, this man is so polite, I wish I knew what he looked like.
“Of course I can do that for you. But also know that you can ask me to do anything from here until your time is up, alright?” I say with a smile on my face as I look up at the camera.
“What would you like to talk about tonight?” I say suddenly feeling too naked and exposed for casual convo.
“Tell me about yourself” He says.
I pause and look away for a second to think,
“I’m a camgirl. What is there more to know about me?” I state the obvious.
“Just humor me” he says softly.
I pinch my lip between my fingers contemplating whether I should open up to this client.
I stare back at his dark screen, wondering who’s behind it, then look up at the camera.
I open up my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
Am I afraid to open up? or is it cause it’s a stranger on a cam site wanting to get to know me?
It’s not like they’re genuinely interested in me.
I internally scoff at the idea.
They requested me on a fucking porn site for fucks sake.
I’m literally having a conversation in my lingerie with a man who paid for my services.
There’s nothing serious about this.
“I currently live in Japan and this is what I do for a living.”
Silence on the other end, so I continue.
“I work two jobs, this one” gesturing towards my attire “ and my normal day to day job out in the real world.”
“Would you feel more comfortable putting on some clothes?” He chimes in catching me off guard with the question.
I look up at the camera a little puzzled. Was not expecting it in the slightest.
“Sure..?”
I reach over next to me and grab one of my oversized black band tshirts and put it on, the hem reaching my upper thigh.
“Beautiful” I hear him whisper quietly.
I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I look down trying to hide my face and nod slightly.
I don’t understand how just that simple gesture from this stranger has this type of affect on me.
“Why do you do this type of work, darlin?”
I lift my head up at the sound of his voice.
No one’s ever asked me that before and his actions are confusing me right now. He’s acting like he cares about me but I just don’t understand
why he would pay to just talk with me and then have me put on clothes. Is this his kink? Is he getting off on this? I really don’t get it.
I want to ask him why he paid $2,000 to have me cover myself and just talk with me but I decide against it and answer his question.
“I do this because I need the money. It’s simple as that. It pays enough to cover half the bills and I’m able to still have time for myself even with a
second job.”
I take another pause.
“Listen, I’m good at what I do and I get money for it so this is why I am in this line of work.”
I hope that answer suffices his curiosity.
“I understand, but you seem like a person that could do more. You don’t need to do this.”
He sounds genuine but I can’t help but slightly scoff at his statement.
“If working on a porn site for men’s perverted pleasures keeps me off the streets and out of hunger, then I’ll be the granny of porn”
That makes him laugh.
It’s such a nice laugh.
I break into a smile.
“My night is officially better now that I get to spend it talking with you” he says.
I look up at the camera.
“Well that’s why I am here for, to fulfill your fantasies and make you happy right?” I tease him. “You paid for my services and my job is to make my client happy.” I answer with a matter of fact tone.
“I wouldn’t make you do anything that you’re not comfortable with” His answer almost sounds serious.
“You still paid for me, as long as you don’t break any of my rules, I’m yours to do with as you please. This is a transactional relationship” I say reminding him of our current situation.
Silence.
“I am aware, but what if it didn’t have to be” he says coolly.
My ears perk up at this confession.
Is he really genuinely interested in me? Or are these just mind games from a stranger whose face I haven’t even seen.
This man must be out of his mind, there is absolutely no way.
I let out a laugh.
“You’re very funny” I joke with him.
Just another fan trying to play into a fantasy of saviour, I let myself believe.
“This is a sex site and you seeked me out and paid to talk with me, this isn’t real.”
“Sweetcherrykat”
His voice sounds deeper as he calls me by my user
“I don’t joke about things or people I am serious about”.
I scoff and roll my eyes at his statement.
“And you’re serious about me? You don’t even know me” I mock.
Suddenly my playful banter is gone and I seem to be getting defensive with this client.
“Baby, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just trying to get to know and understand you”
“Understand me? I don’t know you and you don’t know me. We are strangers hiding behind screens and masks. The only understanding is I’m sitting here half naked having a paid conversation with a man behind a computer.”
My voice is slightly raised as I finish my rant.
God this must be another one of those creeps I had in my private cams a couple months and had to block from all my socials because he thought he was falling for me and wanted something more.
I’m too blinded by my past of people trying to get close to me, whether it’s strangers or people I know in real life that I don’t give this man the benefit of the doubt.
“I’m sorry RoguePhantom89 but I’m going to have to end our session early and I’ll refund you, I can’t do this” I say exasperated.
“Wait-”
He begins to say but I close out of the private chat quickly, leaving me alone in the comfort of my quiet room wondering what just happened.