Work Text:
“REMEMBER POMNI”
“Aaaanyway, we can’t spend all night out here talking about our feelings! We’ve got work to do!”
The rapid change in Gangle’s mood caught Pomni off guard, giving her a bit of emotional whiplash, but the theater mask girl had simply put her new comedy mask back on and gone back inside, giving a whole new meaning to putting on a happy face. The young jester simply stared at nothing as she was abruptly left alone in the back of the fast-food restaurant.
That had been… interesting. She had thought that she and the theater mask girl were going to end up in some deep backstory drama regarding Gangle’s past like she had with Kinger. Apparently not though. But then, nothing about today had gone the way she had expected. Not that anything that took place in the Amazing Digital Circus had been anything like she had expected, but everyone seemed to be off today.
Ragatha was all loopy for some reason, Jax was being unusually compliant, Gangle seemed to be on a bit of a power trip while teetering on the verge of a mental breakdown, and Zooble… well, Zooble was being Zooble.
As for Pomni, well, she was still coping with everything. It had been some time since she had ended up in this digital world, but she was still adjusting. But as traumatizing as Caine’s adventures had been for her thus far, they at least served as a distraction from her new life to prevent her from unpacking everything all at once to keep her from spiraling until she got used to everything. Having her mind completely snap and causing her to abstract like Kaufmo or Kinger’s wife and get condemned to the cellar was the last thing she wanted.
But an honest hard day’s work at Spudsy’s, that certainly wasn’t something someone thought of when they thought about having an adventure. Caine had still managed to make it interesting though with some of the NPC customers that had come in, though most of the customers had been simple mannequins.
Speaking of which, she had better finish taking out this trash and get back to the register before Gangle lost it again; she was already cracking under the pressure. So Pomni pushed herself to her feet and picked up the bag of garage and headed over to the dumpster.
Lifting up the lid, she tossed the bag of trash inside. She briefly wondered what would happen to it, or even this whole place in general, once the adventure was over. Did Caine just delete it? Was it stored somewhere? Was it reduced to pure data or code and saved for a possible future adventure? Pomni didn’t know; she was actually clueless about how most of this world worked.
Deciding not to think about it, she let the lid drop and clapped her hands together as she turned to make her way back inside. But then a sound caught her attention from within the darkness and she froze. Her gaze turned to the direction of the sound, but in the poorly lit area in the back of the restaurant at night, she could only see blackness in the direction of the sound.
“Hellooooo?” she hesitantly asked, an edge of fear slipping into her voice. “I hope not, but is anyone there?”
She still couldn’t see anyone, but she now heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching, and more fear gripped her. Even though she couldn’t die or actually be physically harmed in this world, Pomni didn’t do well with horror. Caine, however, seemed to think horror elements were a fun theme to insert into his adventures that he thought they’d enjoyed. This adventure was originally supposed to involve a psychopathic butcher that served up human meat before it was swapped out for what it now was, but did Caine still include a knife wielding maniac hiding in the shadows as a villain to defeat or something?
“Um, if someone is there, can you say something please?” she nervously squeaked out.
Whoever it was, she could now see their silhouette in the darkness as they approached. Pomni felt a scream building up in her throat as the person got closer, and hoped that her eyes wouldn’t literally pop out of her head again; a wild take Kinger had called it. But then, to her utter astonishment, a familiar yellow and green gummy alligator nervously holding a cowboy hat made of chocolate stepped out of the shadows.
“Hello, miss,” he said in his Australian accent.
Pomni felt her fear leave her to be replaced with a mix of relief and surprise. “Gummigoo? Wha-What are you do– I mean, why are you back he– err, um… Hi. What are you doing hiding in the shadows?”
The gummy alligator looked nervous and unsure as he twisted his hat in his grip. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you or come across as creepy or nothin’. I was just… hopin’ to have a chat with an old friend away from where we might be overheard.”
Pomni blinked. “O-Oh, well, if you wanted a private word, you could have just…” She trailed off as something he said registered to her. “Wait, an old what?”
His eyes went from nervous to happy as a smile spread across his face and he put his hat back on. “An old friend. Or perhaps I should say, my only actual real friend, one I haven’t seen since our Candy Canyon Kingdom adventure.”
Pomni’s eyes widened and she felt her heart leap in her chest. Did she even have a heart, or was that just a simulated feeling? She really didn’t care though as tears filled her eyes. Unable to hold herself back, she rushed forward.
“Gummigoo!” she cried, throwing her arms around him. His arms came up around her as well, hugging her back. It was a little awkward since he was so much taller than her, but Pomni didn’t care as she squeezed his squishy body tightly. “You remember me!” she said tearfully. “I thought you’d forgotten. How do you remember?”
He ended the hug and gave her a fond look. “I have you to thank for that, sheila. You brought my memories back.”
Pomni blinked up at him. “I did? How?”
He smiled at her. “When you said my name to your manager in there. I never told you my name, and me mates didn’t say it, so you couldn’t have overheard it anywhere. I couldn’t figure out how you knew my name, so I began to wonder if we had met somewhere before. But I found that when I tried to think back on when that might have been, I realized that I couldn’t remember anything from before me mates and I came into the restaurant.”
A forlorn look crossed his face and he sat down on the side of the curb. Pomni sat down next to him, giving him a sympathetic look as he continued. “No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t remember my life before going into Spudsy’s. I tried thinking about other folks I knew, but I couldn’t picture their faces. It was like… my entire existence revolved around being a customer here. It was quite the existential crisis to be honest.”
A humorless chuckle escaped Pomni. “Yeah, I can imagine.”
He smiled sadly. “It left me with a lot of questions I didn’t have the answers to, and I began thinking about other things I never thought about before. I began thinking about you, and how you may have those answers. I started wondering who you were, and who you were to me since you seemed to know me, and suddenly… I don’t know. It was like… these floodgates in my head opened up, and a whole mess of memories I didn’t have before just came pouring in, and I suddenly remembered everything.”
Pomni felt a wave of sympathy for her friend hit her. She couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. It had to be traumatizing for him, to find out that you weren’t actually real, that your entire life was non-existent and everything you thought you knew was nothing more than a backstory programmed into you. And poor Gummigoo had actually had to go through that twice now; once when the two of them had fallen off the map together and discovered his model, and now again when he regained those memories of that time.
“When…” she began carefully, “when did you remember? Before or after you left the restaurant?”
A sigh escaped the gummy alligator and he hung his head. “Before. When I was sittin’ at the table with me mates.” He gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you, sheila, and I’m sorry I pretended I still didn’t know you. I was worried that if any of your friends saw that I remembered that your ringmaster friend would zap me again.”
Pomni internally flinched. Yes, she supposed that made sense. Now that she thought about it, when she had gone up to him as she saw him and his buddies leaving, he had given her a wary look. She’d thought it had been because she had weirded him out earlier, but thinking back on it now, he had almost looked… scared. If he had thought that he might get obliterated again if he did anything out of the ordinary, then no wonder he had acted the way he had.
Seeing that look on his face was what had convinced her to let him go and focus on her relationships with her fellow circus members instead of clinging to an NPC who technically didn’t really exist and who she had no idea when she would see again, and even when she did, he wouldn’t remember her. It had still been very hard to let him go though. The two of them had become very close, bonding over their shared trauma and existential dread. It had allowed them to relate to each other and use each other as an anchor, solidifying their friendship in the process.
Losing him the first time had felt like a piece of herself had been ripped away, akin to having a close friend or family member die, and letting him walk away had been one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, and she had only been able to do so by telling herself that he hadn’t been her Gummigoo. Like a defeated enemy in a video game that had respawned after a time, it was the same enemy, but technically a different one from the one before. At least that had been the analogy she had used to rationalize the situation.
But now he was her Gummigoo again. His memories being restored had brought him back, and now he was here with her. Ragatha had said that Caine reused NPCs for different adventures, but Pomni had thought that she really had lost him forever.
Which reminded her. “Yeah, speaking of that,” she said as she rubbed the back of her head uneasily, “I’m really sorry Caine, uh, zapped you like that. I didn’t know he was going to do that. I guess no one else ever tried to bring an NPC back to the circus before. Caine said it’d be bad if he lost track of who was an NPC and who wasn’t.”
Reaching out, Gummigoo placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Don’t you worry yourself none. It was a right fine thing you did offerin’ me a home with you lot. By all accounts, you coulda just left me in that subspace we were stuck in. It’s not your fault what happened to me.”
“I still feel bad about it though.” She gave him a sad look. “Did it hurt? Getting zapped I mean.”
Much to her relief, he shook his head. “Didn’t even feel it. One minute I was standin’ in the circus, the next I was walkin’ into Spudsy’s with me mates and no memory of what happened before that.” He looked up at the night sky. “Honestly, I’m still not sure how I was able to remember.”
Pomni looked down at her feet as she considered this. It hadn’t been something she had thought about before, but going back to the video game enemy analogy, she thought she might have a theory.
“Maybe it’s because even though Caine deleted you, your data, or whatever makes you up, was still there since he reuses NPCs. That’s why when he repurposed you as a Spudsy’s customer, even though your whole programming or purpose or whatever was changed, the memories of what happened in the Candy Kingdom were still part of your code.” She looked up at him to see him watching her curiously. “And, I guess, when I got you thinking about and trying to remember things that weren’t part of your current programming, it caused, I don’t know, maybe some kind of glitch or something that unlocked or accessed those memories that were still part of your data. Kind of like encountering a character or item that wasn’t supposed to be in the final version of a game, but you can still come across them with a hack or cheat code or something because the data is still in the code.”
Gummigoo stared at her with a blank expression before it became one of bewilderment. “Sorry, sheila, but I have no idea what you’re on about.”
A light giggle escaped Pomni and she rubbed the back of her neck. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t.”
This made him smile as well and he looked up at the star-filled sky again. “Night’s already here. I imagine when Spudsy’s closes later tonight that the adventure will be over and you’ll be headed back to the circus with your friends.”
Pomni frowned as a feeling of sadness fell over her. That would mean having to say goodbye to Gummigoo again. “Yeah, I guess so…”
For several long seconds, a heavy silence fell between them as Gummigoo continued to look at the sky and Pomni stared at her feet. She didn’t want to say goodbye to Gummigoo again, especially after having just gotten him back. It just wasn’t fair. She understood why it would be bad if Caine lost track of who was human and who was an NPC, and thus they weren’t allowed in the circus, but she still didn’t like it. And why couldn’t Gummigoo be the exception in light of his obtaining self-awareness and sentience?
“You know,” he said, breaking the silence, “while I was waitin’ out here for you, I did some thinkin’. I know that since we found the second tanker full of syrup beneath the map, you let me mates take that one back to my village. But then it occurred to me, we don’t actually have a village; that there was just a plot point of the adventure your ringmaster friend came up with. So where did they go after we let them drive off?” He looked at Pomni. “And what will happen to this place once this adventure is over? Or all us customers?”
Pomni stared at him for several long moments before averting her eyes. “I… I don’t have those answers, Gummigoo. I don’t know if it all gets deleted but the data is saved like with what happened with you, or if it’s just put into some kind of limbo storage until its reused and repurposed, or if it just continues on without us here. I just don’t know.”
Which was true, but she had her suspicions. And if she had to take a guess, she knew what it was she would say.
“What would your guess be?” he asked, as if he knew what she was thinking. “If you had to make one. Which of those things do you think will happen?”
She didn’t answer, she didn’t want to, even if she knew what her answer would be, but he must have read her answer on her face. And based on his expression, she knew he had figured out what her answer would be, and her shoulders sank in dismay.
“I see,” he said simply. “I figured that would be the case.”
“I’m sorry, Gummigoo,” she told him sadly.
He sighed. “Not your fault, sheila. That’s the life of an NPC I suppose. We don’t matter in the slightest. We exist for our designated purposes and are then discarded.”
Pomni looked up at him and reached out, placing her hand on top of his. “You matter to me.”
He smiled slightly at that. “I appreciate that, but it still don’t change nothin’.”
He was right. It wasn’t fair, but he was right. No matter the circumstances, he was still an NPC. And once this adventure was over, he was going to have to go away again.
In her dismay, Pomni pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs. “Maybe it would have been better if I had just let you be,” she mumbled sadly.
That seemed to snap Gummigoo out of his funk, and his head snapped back to her. “What? No, of course not. I’m glad you did. I’m glad I remembered you.”
This surprised Pomni, and she glanced up at him. “But… now you know what you are and what’s going to happen to you. Wouldn’t you have rather, you know, have not known? Ignorance is bliss and all that.”
He seemed to consider that for a bit. “I suppose it would have been easier that way, yeah. But then, I wouldn’t know you.” He gave her a smile. “And I’d much rather be able to spend time with my only ‘real’ friend while I can than never know you. Sometimes you just gotta take the bad with the good.”
Pomni’s eyes widened as she felt her affection for him grow. “You really mean that?”
He playfully nudged her. “Course I do. Knowin’ you is worth a little existential dread every now and then. So do me a favor, will you? If I pop up during any of your future adventures, try and get me to remember again. I know you probably won’t be able to every time, but if you can manage it, I’d appreciate bein’ able to get to know you again.”
Pomni continued to stare at him. He really wanted that? For her to basically shatter his reality whenever they met in the future? “Gummigoo, I… That’s… Are you sure?”
He chuckled this time. “Why wouldn’t I want to have the only real thing in my life back, even if it’s only for a little while each time?”
That made the young jester let out a small chuckle as well. “Well, if that’s what you want. I guess we’re gonna 50 First Dates this.”
Gummigoo raised an eyebrow at this, looking confused. “Um, I don’t get that analogy.”
Pomni giggled. “Sorry, it’s a reference to something from my world… My original world. Basically, I’m saying, yes, I’ll do my best to make you remember whenever I can in the future.”
He gave her a nod. “I appreciate it. And sorry I’m placin’ this burden on you.”
She smiled uneasily. “I feel like you’re the one having the burden placed on them. You’ll be repeatedly reminded that you’re not exactly real.”
In response, he wrapped an arm around her. “Like I said, you’re worth it.”
Despite the gloominess of the situation, Pomni felt a warm and fuzzy feeling fill her. It looked like she wouldn’t have to say goodbye to her friend after all. True, the situation wasn’t ideal, and she would need to give Gummigoo an unpleasant reminder whenever they met up in the future, and she might not even succeed every time she tried, but at least they would give her something to look forward to during future adventures.
“You do know that some adventures could potentially make us adversaries like our first one did, right?” she felt the need to point out.
He just chuckled at this, turning his arm around her into a playful headlock. “Then you best be on your toes, because I ain’t likely to take it easy on you. But don’t worry, I have faith in you.”
His words reassured her. She didn’t like the idea of them being enemies, even if it was only for the sake of an adventure. “Well, I’ll do my best. And who knows, maybe I’ll even be able to sneak you into the circus at some point without Caine noticing. Then you can hide out in my room for a while before we pretend that you’re another human that stumbled into this world.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Wouldn’t your ringmaster friend recognize me?”
She shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Caine can be a little forgetful and scatterbrained at times. We might be able to pull it off. And if we can’t, maybe I can convince him to make an exception for you given your circumstances. I mean, it’s worth a shot; I’ve only got an eternity to try.”
“Hmm,” he muttered. “Well, I suppose it’s somethin’ to hope for. Fingers crossed he don’t blast me again though.”
Pomni grinned nervously at that. “Yeah, fingers crossed.”
Before either of them could say anything else, the door to Spudsy’s opened and Ragatha poked her head out, hanging onto the door for support as she looked around in a seemingly dazed and drunken stupor.
“Hey, Pomni, you out here shumwheres?” she asked in a slurred voice. Then she noticed the two of them and dopey smile spread across her face. “Oh, hey, there you are! How you doing? So, like, um, Gangle wants you to hurry up out here and get back to the register since there’s a big line, or… something…”
She trailed off as she seemed to zone out. Pomni and Gummigoo just stared at her, the former still wondering what was up with her today. Did she get into the stupid sauce or something?
“Hey,” Gummigoo said to Pomni in a hushed voice, “is she ok?”
Pomni gave her ragdoll friend an uncertain look. “I’m not sure…”
Ragatha was still staring dreamily at nothing, but then she let out a giggle. “So, yeah, hurry up with your boyfriend and come on back because… Gangle is really, like, being super annoying today for some reason…” She waved around her hand as she spoke, but then stopped and stared at it, as if it were the most fascinating thing she had ever seen, and another giggle escaped her. “Wow, I have so many fingers.”
She stumbled back inside after that, nearly tripping over her own feet as she continued to stare at her own hand, and the door shut behind her. Pomni and Gummigoo were left alone once more in the dimly lit back of Spudsy’s.
But then, after a few more moments of silence, Gummigoo let out a sigh and removed his arm from Pomni as he got to his feet and stretched. “Well then, I suppose I best be on my way. Gotta go join me mates… wherever they are.”
“W-Wait!” Pomni exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “You’re really leaving? Now?”
“Your duty calls, sheila,” he told her. “This is your adventure, and you’ve got a job to do. But we had a nice little chat, eh?”
“But…” she began, trying to find the right words, not wanting him to leave yet, “but what about you?”
He smiled in resignation. “Don’t you worry about me none. We’ll see each other again. And now we know that I can remember.”
“Yeah, but… I still don’t want you to go.”
He turned to her fully and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Not exactly lookin’ forward to it meself, but I feel better knowin’ you’ll bring me back. You’ve given me a future to hold out hope for, and I’ll always be grateful for that; it’s somethin’ I can never repay you for enough.” He turned her around then, towards the door. “But you’ve got other friends too, sheila, real friends. Don’t neglect them for someone who ain’t even real.”
His words struck a chord inside her as she stared at the door her circus friends dwelled behind. Bringing up her hand, she placed it over one of Gummigoo’s on her shoulder. “You’re real to me.”
He lightly gripped her shoulders. “Thanks for that. And while it’s all well and good to hang out with an NPC every now and then, don’t forget about your real friends. They’re the constant in your life, the ones with real meanin’.”
He removed his hands from her shoulders and she heard his footsteps moving away from her, and she quickly turned back to him. “Gummigoo, wait!” she cried, and he paused to glance back at her. “I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again.”
He gave her a sad but affectionate smile at that. “Which is why you need to prioritize your other friendships. They’re the ones who will always be there for you. And from time to time, I will be too. But until then,” he tipped his hat to her in parting, “have a good one, miss.”
They were the same words he had said to her before he had left Spudsy’s, and then he turned and continued on his way. Pomni reached out for him as he made to turn the corner, but stayed where she was, and he walked out of sight and out of her life once more. She let her hand drop, feeling a deep sense of loss. However, it was different from before when she had said goodbye to him. Back then, she had felt closure, but now she felt hope.
She would see him again, she told herself, someday, and when she did, she would make him remember her. And she would do it again and again until she found a way to keep him in her life. Because while he might not be real, their time together was, and she would cherish that time, along with what it meant and what it did for her.
But he was right about something else too. He wasn’t her only friend. She had other friends; real friends, in the literal sense of the word. And they could provide for her what Gummigoo couldn’t in ways he couldn’t, and she needed to value that more, and swore that she would.
With a sigh, she turned and opened the door, ready to get back to work and get back to her friends. Well, her friends and whatever she and Jax were.
THE END