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Published:
2025-01-06
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1/1
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Mr Machete

Summary:

You and Mr Machete have been fighting for what seems like hours. When it finally seems like you have the upper hand, he decides to propose a different kind of “fight”.

Notes:

Hey sweetie ;) This fic has not been properly edited so it may contain errors. I had trouble with the tags since Homicipher (apparently) isn't very famous on a03, much less so Mr Machete, so if you found this fic… Good for you!
That being said, enjoy <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You were sure that in a normal situation you wouldn't have lasted a second, but that wasn't a normal situation. You had completely lost track of time since you ended up in that bizarre world, you didn't remember ever stopping to sleep or eat, yet you felt full of energy as that large man with a bandaged head and covered in who knows whose blood attacked you tirelessly. He never stopped to catch his breath. And neither did you. The abnormally tall man held his giant machete steady. If he had hit you even once, it would have been enough to destroy you completely. He just growled loudly as he lunged at you, always keeping that sharp-toothed grin plastered on his face. Even if he had spoken like all the other creatures you had met down there, you probably still wouldn't have understood anything; not so much because the creatures spoke a different language than yours (even though you were starting to understand it), but because he seemed so savage compared to the ones you had met so far. He was the only one who had actively started chasing you without giving up because you were hiding in another room. Your biggest mistake was choosing to fight this time. It attracted him even more. 

And that's why you had been at war for hours: he tried to slice you with his machete, you avoided the attacks and then responded by trying to cut him to pieces with your own hands. The result was that he ended up slipping on the ground, while you destroyed the floor.

 

 

The fight was going nowhere. And you were both noticing it. Finally, for the first time, you saw Mr Machete still. His chest was heaving violently up and down, while his incredibly muscular arms were shiny with sweat, which was slowly wetting his skin and merging with the blood that was staining almost his entire body. He was tired. You could finish him. You held out your arm, sweaty like the rest of your body, placing the palm of your hand towards your enemy. You saw the corners of your vision darken as you concentrated all your energy on your palm. It felt like you were reloading a gun. And finally you could pull the trigger.

 

 

You went blind and deaf for a second when you released the energy towards Mr Machete, due to the roar you yourself had generated. When you opened your eyes again, catching your breath, Mr Machete was gone. In his place, his machete abandoned next to a large hole in the floor. You didn’t have the strength to even hint at a smile. But even if you had, you wouldn’t have had time to smile: you were almost reassured when you saw Mr Machete’s arm that, starting from behind you, made its way up your body to violently grab your side, which seemed tiny compared to his hand. Up close, it was even more terrifying. You could practically see his veins pulsing with rage as he slammed you to the ground. The adrenaline was so high that you didn’t even feel the pain. He towered over you, his smile still plastered on his face, even though his teeth were no longer clenched as he was catching his breath. Suddenly, Mr Machete collapsed. He had fallen to his knees, then shifted to one side as he let himself fall to the floor next to you.

 

 

       You lie. You not human.

||𝙹⚍ ꖎ╎ᒷ. ||𝙹⚍ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑⚍ ᒲᔑリ", he babbled, as he lay next to you, as if he hadn’t spent the past few hours trying to kill you. He was breathing heavily, his face directed towards yours, his arm resting on your stomach. It was incredibly heavy. You smiled at him. Somehow, he looked as innocent as a child as he peppered his breaths with a few cocky chuckles. You took advantage of his sudden calm to study him closely. His muscles didn’t look like they had been trained specifically, but rather they looked like they had grown haphazardly over the years as he pushed his body to its limits.

 

 

Suddenly, Mr Machete pushed himself on you, his big arms planted to the right and left of your head. You even had the impression that the sweat dripping from his face had ended up on you. 

 

         Fight me again

⎓╎ ⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ᒲᒷ ᔑ ⊣ᔑ╎リ" he ordered.

 

"Yeah, sure,” you whispered. He didn’t understand your language, but he didn’t need to. He understood, and his smile widened, as his tongue ran over his teeth. 

 

    Take your tool

"ℸ ̣ᔑꖌᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ∷ ℸ ̣𝙹𝙹ꖎ", you muttered to him, referring to the machete. The calmness of your voice wasn't matching your anger at not being able to finish off Mr Machete earlier, but also your desire to fight him again. You tried to escape his grip, but he placed a hand on your head - strangely gentle - before pushing you back into your seat.

    No tool                       No clothes

"リ𝙹 ℸ ̣𝙹𝙹ꖎ", he laughed, "リ𝙹 ᓵꖎ𝙹ℸ ̣⍑ᒷᓭ", he added.

 

You must have misheard. No, you heard it right. "Innocent" my ass. This man - this creature - was just as wild and unpredictable as you'd imagined. Maybe you just wanted to call him a pervert and attack him again, but the thought of this man wanting to see you naked... It turned you on. So far he'd only shown you fighting.

 

    No clothes

"リ𝙹 ᓵꖎ𝙹ℸ ̣⍑ᒷᓭ?" you asked, your chest still aching from too much exertion. He looked confused, then grabbed your white robe, now stained with blood and black dust, and pulled it up over your face. Even though you couldn’t see Mr Machete clearly, you knew the bastard was staring at your naked body, except for your underwear, so you squeezed your legs together. You winced when he pressed his thumb against the swollen point of your panties, taking his time to feel the soft flesh beneath the fabric. You quickly pulled the robe off your face, desperately trying to cover yourself, but Mr Machete wasn’t bothered by your clumsy attempts as it took him no effort at all to literally rip the robe off of you with one hand, while he squeezed your pussy between his large thumbs.

 

You heard him mutter something as he licked his lips. 

"Huh?!" you gasped, as Mr Machete pushed you down, pushing his waist between your legs.

 

      Me hungry

"ᒲᒷ ⍑⚍ リ ⊣∷||", he growled, then his head got dangerously close to your pussy and Mr Machete grabbed your panties with his teeth, then violently pulled away tearing them away, then he spat the poor fabric away with a: “puah!”.

 

You don’t know if Mr Machete had eyes under his bandages. But if he did, he would be looking at you like you would look at your favorite dish. He let out an annoying arrogant chuckle before grabbing both of your thighs and slamming them brutally against your chest before diving his head between your legs.

The initial shock seemed unjustified now that Mr Machete was running his tongue, dripping with saliva, between one of your full lips and the innermost and most sensitive ones. You had seriously feared that he would hurt you with his teeth, but Mr Machete seemed good enough to make you forget about his sharp fangs and allow you to focus only on his very hot tongue, too long and too wide to be remotely comparable to that of a human.

 

 

You thought you heard him say something, and you too had babbled some confused words, but you had to know that there was no more room for diplomacy, already very little from the beginning.

 

 

You realized you were moaning only when a far too loud sound came from your lips, drawing your knight's attention to them, who immediately lifted himself from your wet and needy pussy to throw his tongue into your mouth, smearing your lips with his hot saliva mixed with your sweet fluids. The effusion ended only when Mr Machete lifted himself up, delighted by the sight of his rival excited and wet because of him. The man took off the clothes that separated you from full contact, showing you what - theoretically - was supposed to be a cock, but in practice was so big that you understood why Mr Machete needed such a long skirt to cover it. He didn't even deign to pick it up to adjust it, because he threw it on your pussy, causing a vulgar sound that made your already sensitive clit twitch. Mr Machete let his thick member slide over your pussy, stimulating your clit, allowing you to feel all of his swollen veins. The contact was so intimate that you felt like you could feel them pulsating. 

 

Between the moans, both yours - more hissed - and his, more like a growl, you couldn't resist the temptation to touch with your own hands the throbbing member that was giving you pleasure; so you used both of them to grab it and guide it up and down on your clit.

With your fingers it was even more obvious that his veins were terribly swollen. That poor dick just needed relase.

 

Mr Machete seemed enthralled to see you, the person who until moments before was trying to kill him, was now worshipping his cock.

 

At this point you had no more shame, you no longer cared what the man above you thought.

 

Maybe in normal conditions you would have worried about how excessively lubricated your genitals were. His cock was practically soaking in pre-cum, while your poor little pussy was releasing inviting fluid until it formed a sweet puddle on the floor beneath you in the hopes of being penetrated as violently as you had been pinned to the ground.

 

   You weak~

"||𝙹⚍ ∴ᒷᔑꖌ~", he laughed, confusing his laughter with his own moans. You tried to protest, but soon realized that you didn't care and wanted to think only of humping that dick. He growled, annoyed.

      Fight me! Fast!

"⎓╎ ⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ᒲᒷ! ⎓ᔑᓭℸ ̣!" he demanded, even if his orders sounded more like a whimper. You continued to ignore him, moaning all your pleasure in his face, against his frustration. Mr Machete gave you a dirty look, then smiled again, devilishly, this time.

 

Mr Machete suddenly took his cock from your hands and, more importantly, from your clit. You started to whimper, trying to reach it with your hands, but without success.

    You want it?

"||𝙹⚍ ∴ᔑリℸ ̣ ╎ℸ? ̣" he teased you, looking down at his penis, then at you.

    Your hole

"||𝙹⚍ ∷ ⍑𝙹ꖎᒷ", he laughed. You couldn’t help but let out a confused moan as he, still sitting, grabbed you and turned you around until he was resting his cock between your ass cheeks, which made you gasp. Luckily, he decided to enter the hole that was actually waiting for him, sliding in faster and more violently than expected. You screamed more in surprise than in pain, both of which were quickly being replaced by the desperation of finding an orgasm. His thick tip was hitting just the right spot, but suddenly you felt Mr Machete go a little deeper. Only then did you realize that Mr Machete wasn’t all the way in. Your eyes widened as Mr Machete rushed you to hug you affectionately as he moaned loudly in your ear and as his cock made its way inside you. You had to grab his arms and squeeze them as Mr Machete, who was still fully entering you, had already started to move, pulling his cock out to the tip and then slamming it back in. The vulgar sound of his skin against yours began to take on a rhythm, which was soon accompanied by desperate moans that culminated in a massive orgasm. You felt your private parts dripping while your cheeks were wet with so many tears. Then you closed your eyes.

 

• • •

 

Your vision was blurry from your tears and your head hurt. You had trouble remembering what had happened after you came. Maybe you had passed out.

 

You were still on the ground, on your side, but you weren't cold. You were covered in a large fabric, it looked like Mr Machete's skirt, who was now behind you, his strong arms still around your head to protect you. Was he... sleeping?

 

He was breathing loudly, with an obviously satisfied expression. 

   You weak.

||𝙹⚍ ∴ᒷᔑꖌ.

 

You totally ignored him and looked under the makeshift blanket. Your eyes widened. You started to hope there was a shower somewhere.

 

 

Notes:

Hi! This was my second time writing smut and I'm planning on writing more about other Homicipher characters. It was written completely in one go from 2am to 4am, but I had fun editing the dialogue to make it more in-game. Sorry for bad english, most of this fic was translated by Google since it's not my first language. If you have hints or critiques, do nat hesitate to comment! (Just be gentle…)
That being said, I hope you enjoyed this fic <3