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Sometimes, it is simply not meant to be. And maybe in another story we could have been... Maybe the outcome would have led us into a place full of light and happiness. Where we laugh and smile. And where we greet each other with a bright face and laughter. Being happy to see our friends' faces...actually having real friends who don't stab you in the back. But the duality of reality is that those who harmed us get to be happy and us - we lose the hope to keep going.
And as worn out hands take the loaded gun, the tears flow down your cheeks, as the happiest memories you have, play out in your head for the one last time. 'Was it worth it, any of it?' do you ever ask yourself? Either yes or not, you know it had cost you everything.
You miss the good times, but you have buried them so deep down to prevent them to drag you back, once more, into that foolish and weak person you were. The one that gets left behind and kicked in the mud like a homeless child. And you decide you are not gonna take what they've got to give, even when they come running back saying they are sorry. You know they aren't. And you not gonna let them take your will to live because they've taken enough and you've given them all you can give.
Slow steps echo down the hall, as your hand grips the scarred metal tightly. A slow tune playing in your head. The rays of the setting sun seeping through the large window panes. Their furthest reach touches one of the dynamite piles. A large throne that stands in front of you, mocking you. But you are already empty and don't want to back out now - it's too late. As the time slows down and the time ticks its last seconds, you sit, facing all that is in front of you, all that you've built from scratch - now filled with loads of dynamite. Another pain you've been facing, about to come to the light. If anyone finds out, that is. Regret filled sobs wreck your soul but you've already decided. You fought enough. It is time to stop. You did good. A decision that can never be erased, a second chance given - wasted. No-one will miss you...but the truth is - everyone will. A flick of the lever is all it takes and it's done.
And in the end, you never allowed them to take your will to live... You surrendered it to them out of your own volition. It was your decision.
A wrong one, but it was yours - in this tragic end.