Chapter Text
*When a child starts crying in public*
Mango: *tries to make the child laugh*
Prism: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*
Floof: *gives [bad] detailed instructions to the parents*
Aster: *cries with the child*
Mel: *ignores the child*
Ammonti: *is the reason why the child is crying*
(ah, the good old magic scepter days)
Mel: Go fuck yourself
Fello: Go fuck me yourself you coward!
Fanfic writers to their characters:
Prism: Hey, what are you known for doing to characters?
Aster: Making them love culture and music!
Prism: And you?”
Mango: Human rights violations.*pulls out a 10 ft long parchment*
Mel and Fello: Geneva convention? I think you meant Geneva suggestion. This is a suggestion for my Geneva checklist, and I will Geneva violate it.
Lud: We call that a traumatic experience.
Lud, turning to Banana: Not a "bruh moment".
Lud, turning to Panchaku: Not "sadge".
Lud, turning to Floof: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
Mango: How do you connect with a fictional character?
Panchaku: What?
Mel: что? (What?)
Plant: What?
Myca: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
Mel: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “Woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Myca made me get tested.
Aster: This bloodline ends with me.
Floof: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
Aster, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—
Floof: Loving parental figures.
Mango: Better luck at love.
Mel: Mental stability.
Calypso: *clueless* Bagels?
Mel, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-
Ammonti, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?
Aster, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.
Mango, appalled: Call the exorcist.
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Mel: Oh no.
Aster:*cries* I love you too.
Floof: Sounds fake, but okay.
Prism: *A flustered mess*
Mango: ...Can I get a refund?
(There was a "I love me too" but no one has the mental stability to say that)
Mel, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Mango: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Lud: I personally was created in a lab.
Aster: I just straight up spawned lol.
Aster: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.
Airlena: Aw... that's not true.
Airlena: It'd be exactly the same.
Airlena: You're not important.
(Bold words for you- AHEM)
'Can I copy the homework?'
Floof: I can help you with it!
Mango: Yeah, sure.
Aster: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Ray: lol nope.
Calpyso: We had homework?
Mel: *Read 5:55pm*
(This information was gathered while asking you guys for armour, accept Calypso's cause they never logged on-)
Mel: Time for plan G.
Aphotic: Don’t you mean plan B?
Mel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Prism: What about plan D?
Mel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Mango: What about plan E?
Mel: I’m hoping not to use it. Aphotic dies in plan E.
Prism: I like plan E.
Mel: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Prism: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Aster: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Prism, learn to listen.
Ray: What if it bites itself and I die?
Ammonti: That’s voodoo.
Meadow What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Mel: That’s correlation, not causation.
Mango: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Ray: That’s kinky.
Mel: Oh dear lord.
Mel: *gets blood all over them* Fuck's sake.
Mango: Language!
Mel: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”?
Mango:
Mel: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Aster: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Prism: You and me.
Aster, tearing up: Okay.
Mel: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Myca: You need to stop.
Mel: You love me, right, Fello?
Fello: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Prism: I will not let you down.
Ammonti: Sounds fun.
Mel: Okay. Do I get anything out of it?
Aster: No, I'm fucking not.
Ray: Do I have to be?
Mango: Please god, I am so tired.
Mel: Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you have me here in this town for- what? Months? And you haven’t even had me confirm what exactly I am.
Mango, Floof, Ammonti: What are you then?
Mel: I'm an Aquarius- -fucking dies-
Myca, trying to comfort anyone: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.
Aster: You got a date yet Pris?
Prism: No...
Aster: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
Prism: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Ammonti: Theft. (End cities, I see your loot Ammonti)
Floof: Disturbing the peace.
Mango: Aggravated assault.
Ray: Arson. (What you have been doing to the bees, untended burning campfires under bee hives? Unbelieveable)
Mel: All of the above. In that order, probably.
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Floof: Rude.
Ammonti: That's fair.
Aster: Not again.
Mel: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
Mango: *sarcastic* Wow, that did so much damage.