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None of them really talked about it after.
Why would they? It was silly! Just curiosity engulfing them into trying stuff out, so what? Are they criminals for that?
No, for other things though...
But that doesn't matter, it's stupid anyway!
So dumb, just some trivial question they wanted to answer.
If that's so...why was Toby still thinking about it?
"You know it's not, as long as it's you"
...
"uuuGHHHH." Toby loudly groaned before cupping his forehead with his hand, ignoring the droplets that the open vial on the other splashed onto his desk.
"We CaN't WaStE tHiS sHiT" he heard a voice behind him mock.
"Huh...what?" He looked behind him to see him standing there. Him. The culprit.
"The Jerry? I'm just quoting what you said" He sat in front of him and took the recipient away "WE...can't waste this." He heard his tail wag against the table, he finds funny how that always gives out that he isn't actually upset.
"You're- no, I'M right." He looked down to the fallen liquid, seeing it burn through the wood. Damn...they actually consume this thing "It's just a little mistake, we won't die if we don't drink that little drop"
"What if we do?" Before he could joke back, he heard all the containers tink and clank as Karma made space to dramatically drop in front of him "GAH! TOBY...THIS IS MY LAST GOODBYE...FOR YOU HAVE WASTED MY LAST CHANCE TO LIVE..."
"Pfft- fuck you" He stood up to rescue the not-so empty vials on the table. They need this, actually.
"AND YOU'LL LEAVE ME HERE, TO ROT AWAY BLINKING UNTIL I MEET THE EYES OF DEATH HERSELF..." He knows he'd never, which makes this funnier.
"Stand up, Karma" He grabbed his arm with his free hand, pulling on it in an attempt to save all the glass still sitting on the table.
"You're such a party pooper" He frees himself from his grasp and sits up by himself "Are you allergic to fun? Whimsy?" Death, this man is so-
Toby steps back.
And looks him in the eyes.
"What?" His eyelashes flutter curiously, his teasing grin fading into a relaxed smile "Did the death thing get to you?" He sees him stand up- wait no, stay there.
"Toby..." He feels his long and cold hand on his shoulder, even through the layers of linen and leather "You know I'm joking" his deep voice, sweetening and bitter, now softening like caramel. Stop, just- shut up-
He feels him twist around him, sliding that same hand down to his back as he slid the other the opposite way. The way his chest rise over his lowering one, how their barely surviving heartbeats synchronized and their breathing miss matched the other. They both know they're this close, for fucks sake, they sleep together!
So why is he feeling it now?
Was it ever meant to be acknowledged?
What and why is this happening?
Until familiar lips caress his neck.
He thinks.
He realizes.
Damnitdamnitdamnit-
He knew it!
It was never acknowledged for a reason!
This is isn't happening, it can't.
He can't do this, not to Karma
Did they ever swear on it?
Was there a silent agreement he missed?
Is it really a secret?
His heart, it's accelerating.
WHY? THIS LITERALLY HAPPENS EVERY DAY! WHY NOW IS HE FEELING THIS?!
SHITSHITSHITSHIT-
"It's okay, I'm here." Careful hands take the vials "Or was it the mess? Don't worry I'll fix that for you" He feels colder when he pulls away.
He sees him arrange the little bottles, his mind storms.
What now? Should I speak? Would that be dumb? Is it too late now?
His legs shake, cringing on how impossibly nervous he is right now.
It's Karma! THE Karma! your-....karma.
He gulps dry, eyes fixiated on his back.
Yep, ah yes, just stay there like a creep and do nothing.
He looks down at his...shaky hands?! This is stupid! You've known him basically all your life, why are you so worried? He won't kill you, right?...right?
He stands there.
Looks back up.
Thinks for a minute.
And just leans for it.
"Woah there" arms snake around his waist from behind "Toby, a dinner before would be-"
"I love you." It feels like a cry for understanding.
He knows Karma smiled beautifully at that "I love you too-"
"No." He interrupted before desperately clarifying his sentence "I love you- as in, I LOVE love you. Ro-...Romantically...I guess"
He felt him freeze. Shit.
Karma turned around, leaning back on the desk and then pulling him close, noticing the dark blush on his face. He's serious.
"I know, I love you too." His hands touched his forearms, traveling all the way up brushing hot skin and staying on his cheeks.
His heart could burst out of his chest any second now. He felt weird, like this is the first time meeting him. How would that be at this age? At a bar? School? He imagines them chatting, throwing casual flirts and compliments, stray hands touching wherever they can reach, giggling while lost in each other's gaze. Lost just as he is right now.
A beat skips, he feels born again.
He studies his face as if he's a stranger, a beautiful stranger.
He feels his mouth dry with his starstruck breathing.
He looks down in embarrassment when he giggles at him licking his lips.
"You wanna try it again?" This sound, his voice, it feels new.
"Try...what?" He meets his laugh, so refreshing.
"The-...oh, don't make me say it-" He looks nervous, did it just hit him too?
"You mean- " He thinks before continuing his sentence. If he fucks this up he swears..."kiss?"
"Y-Yeah, that" his thumbs brush under his eyes like he's comforting a crying child-...was he crying? "Though I thought you said it was goofy" he made himself laugh. Oh, this motherfucker.
"It just came out of nowhere, okay?! Death, will you-...ever let that go?" That sweet sound, it is contagious.
"No I won't" He can recognize this side of him "It was cute" and the new one peeked in, making him blush harder and make his amplitude sound above a whisper at the end.
"Stop doing that, my-" He leans forward "This is so weird."
"What do you mean?" He accomodates himself, not breaking eye contact as he sat back down on the desk.
"You know what I mean" He follows along, finding his place between his legs.
"Honesty- I don't think none of us know" Bullseye.
"Is- is it a thing then? We really need to talk about it" Do they?
"I don't know, I think we're fine as we are" Right.
"I just feel like something has so be said"
"Say it then?"
He feels his heart stop, like fully stop.
Should he? How? Would any word make it clear? Of course not.
So he closes the gate behind him, lets him feel his love, kissing him like the crushing teenager he is.
A hand on the nape of his neck desperately tries bringing him closer, another grabs his shoulder for support, any of them could collapse any moment now.
Tasting the ache, the burn none of them ever felt present. But it was always there, always has been.
They just never felt the need to point it out, they both knew and acted like they didn't.
Well, it's over now.
Toby and Karma separate, and immediately feel that weight leave their chests.
"I like you"