Work Text:
The girl brought out a piece of white A4 paper, placing it on the desk. On the right of it, a mechanical pencil. Above it, angled more horizontally, was a mechanical eraser.
She sat down, scooched her seat forward.
Picking up the mechanical pencil, she first started with the rough layout of the head, the neck, then the torso, arms following suit.
She went to the legs, sketching them in place, as she had planned the right arm of the figure to rest upon its right knee.
“Oh Nnoitra.”
The other leg dangled off, in a way that it seemed that he was sitting on a raised platform. A chair, maybe, but it wasn't like she was going to draw that. She just wanted to have a clear view of what the main attraction was.
“It’s good to be mellowing out. It seems I'll be spared from our red strings being tied together.”
She really didn't want to have a Faust situation again. Have a mental breakdown over having a new obsession. Thank whoever allowed her to be spared, she didn't love him like she did with dear doctor.
Unlike Faust, her problem with him didn't stem from not having a death to save from, her presence being unnecessary. No, no, it seemed like death was simply the only option this man would ever have, the only option he'd ever choose.
From the start, he had his goal in mind. To die an honourable death on the battlefield, for death and bloodshed was all he was ever going to enjoy, all he was ever going to be good for. All that he'd ever do in his miserable life.
The mere existence of him, and any other Hollow, was stripped of any redemption and salvation from their conception. They would know of no peace, for all they could do is eat other souls, other brethren if they could stomach it.
Predators that prey on the vulnerable.
So of course, the majority view them as villains, as nothing better than pests.
But is it the tiger’s fault that it must hunt down deer to survive?
It was born to do so, and it shall be what it does in its lifetime.
Unlike a tiger, some Hollows are able to gain sapience if they survive and consume for long enough.
They will understand morality, understand values and principles, they can be taught like a human.
But in such a place like Hueco Mundo, it doesn't serve much mental stimulation to these Arrancar. Desolate desert that's eternally night with a crescent moon. Some of them may build and create shelter from the limited materials around, but the scenery doesn't leave much for the imagination. What is present there will bore anyone who's been living there their whole life.
No electricity to conduct, no wood to carve, no thread to spin, no glass to blow, no sights to see, hardly any interesting fauna or flora to observe.
It's no wonder he'd come to such a conclusion regarding his life.
She wasn't sure if the residents considered Hueco Mundo as Hell, but to her, it seemed like so.
Eternal boredom, only thing that could barely scratch all the itches, being other Hollows you could befriend or kill. Even if you had others to talk to, there's only so many conversation topics you could have in such a dull world.
She hated being bored. To be born a Hollow there would truly be Hell.
She always figured she'd rather be an animal. One with a lower amount of intelligence. A cat would be nice. People loved cats.
Even an ant or a cockroach would suffice. She wouldn't have sapience. The capability to understand all of the world's moving parts. She wouldn't have any worries other than surviving and recopulating. Such a simple life.
She wondered if any of the Arrancars there wished they stayed non-sapient. Maybe Nnoitra did. To have a concept of boredom, having identical human psychology that couldn't have proper enrichment in such a terrain…
Of course he wanted to die. Life was miserable. Miserable and boring. Those were the worst feelings to have. Ennui and the like.
No wonder she liked him. The man was meant to embody despair. And she'd never had any hope for a future in her mind.
She already had the darker lines that defined the shape down, now was to start shading to add more depth.
She didn't know why, but it was just easier to draw pornography on a piece of paper rather than with her stylus and computer. Perhaps it was a sense of intimacy? To have her graphite mark directly under her pencil, rather than a line that was made in a way disconnected from its source.
She took care to press harder for darker strokes in his silky hair, using her mechanical eraser to precisely erase away some streaks of its own, creating highlights.
Well, not only was he already stubbornly stuck to his goal of finally being struck down…
He had Nelliel in his mind, did he not?
Why else would they take care to show him and his sworn enemy locking eyes for a few moments before he closed his eyes for good? Not only that, she muttered his name.
Maybe he didn't have his goal truly fulfilled when he died by Kenpachi’s blade.
Maybe his true goal was to be slain by her beauty. A warrior that would never view him as an equal.
For he was a weak and despairful child that didn't have a care for the people around him. Yet, he cared about their perception of him too much.
His sights and heart, whatever left of it, was on her, no?
The girl couldn't live up to that. Even if she showed him that she was the most powerful being to fight, and that he'd be able to have his dream of being defeated by the most powerful enemy come true.
It wouldn't matter if his true dream was to be at her blade. She wasn't Nelliel. She'd never quench his thirst.
Well. That's settled then, right?
She won't be able to be of any use to him. He damned himself from the start. Only an appropriate fate for someone of the likes of him, the people would think.
Still, she wanted him to live. Tesra wanted him to live, too, if him crying at his master's death was any indication.
Maybe Nelliel wanted Nnoitra alive as well.
She hadn't dared to peer further. She needed a break from this universe and all its timelines. Though curiosity will eat at her and she'll come back to see it through soon enough.
A touch of red for his canine-like penis would do good.
She summoned a few coloured pencils. A bright red, a maroon, and red that was lighter and leaned a bit more to orange.
She shaded it with her instinct rather than trying to calculate a light source and how light would bounce off wherever. The middle of it would be the darkest, maroon most prominent. It would be shaded with the bright red on the left side, maroon growing lighter. On the right, prominent red-orange was lining the edge. It was paired alongside the bright red, being the transition from maroon to the brighter colour.
She nabbed a white alcohol marker into existence, taking care to highlight his genitals with its delicate brush tip.
…When Soul Reapers vanquish Hollows with their blades, they are put to rest.
So, perhaps, maybe he'll finally be able to have peace in his restless soul. Maybe this was the best outcome. He won't have to despair any longer.
She picked up her finished work gently with both of her hands. It looked pretty decent for the first (and probably only) time she'd draw a phallus shaped like that.
She stood up, holding the paper in her right hand.
She walked for a moment, filing cabinets suddenly in view right in front of her.
She searched for the one labelled “Miscellaneous” and pulled it open. She slipped the paper inside, perhaps to never see the light of day again.
She pushed the cabinet back into its place.
“Rest in peace, Nnoitra.
“Love you.”