Archive of Our Own

Peter thinks that he made the decision to go back to New York when a heavy wind storm whipped up and knocked out power to half of Chicago, leaving him in the dark.  He's spent the last two months renting a bedroom the size of a closet in an apartment full of college students.  The apartment is always full of rowdy, drunk people, music playing somewhere at all hours of the night.  People come in and out, they talk and laugh and joke around, but still, for all the noise, for all the company that is available to him if he wants it, Peter has never felt more alone there in the room that is barely big enough for a cot.

The truth is, Peter has been alone since he left New York, and it's all his fault.  Mr. Stark had only been trying to help him… trying to get him out of a bad situation, and what had Peter done?  He'd yelled at him… pushed him hard in the chest, and then stormed off like a child.  He'd stormed off and hadn't gone back.  Peter had taken every last cent he had, bought a bus ticket to Chicago, and then tried to put May, and Mr. Stark, and Ned and MJ behind him.  Shoving Mr. Stark… yelling at him when he was trying to keep Peter safe, had been mistake number one.  The bus ticket had been mistake number two.  Now, as Peter stands outside Stark Tower once again in the snow staring up at the tall building, he wonders if he's making mistake number three.  Who knows, he's probably on mistake number ten or twelve by now.

Peter lives by one truth: he messes things up.  If he doesn't mess things up for himself, then life comes and takes every good thing he's ever had away from him.  He'd lost his parents.  He'd lost Ben (and that he thinks, was his biggest mistake of all, not helping when Ben had been facing down that mugger when Peter was twelve years old), and now, because of his own stupidity, he'd lost Tony too.

Peter thinks he made the decision to go back the night the power went out three days ago, and he and the rest of the residents of their apartment had grown chilled and cold with a lack of proper heat.  But in reality, he's been thinking about going back since the night he ran away, tears in his eyes and anger swelling in his chest.  He'd known it was wrong to leave three months ago… to cut himself off from the last people on earth that care about him, but he'd left anyway.

Chicago had not suited Peter.  Not in the least.  Chicago is colder in the winter for one thing.  For another, it's not Peter's city.

And there's no Mr. Stark in Chicago.  No Ned, no MJ.  No May.  Well… it's not like he has May anymore in any case.  One call to CPS from Mr. Stark had meant that Peter was no longer allowed to live with her… was on his way to foster care, his last relative ripped away from him.

Peter pulls in a deep breath and tries to tamp down on all of his uneasy feelings.  Anxiety fills the pit of his stomach in their place as he continues to stare up at Stark Tower, snow gently falling and hitting him in the face.  He's freezing, his shoes and gloves are soaked through, and his sweatshirt is halfway there as well.  Chicago hadn't been for him, but now he wonders if New York is the right place for him.  He's 16, and if he walks back into Stark Tower now, it means he's resigning himself to spend the next two years in foster care.  His mind flits to May briefly, and he wonders if her apartment is decorated with a Christmas tree right now… if she bothered to put one up since Peter isn't there.  He thinks that perhaps, this will be the first Christmas since Ben died that she might feel like putting one up precisely because Peter is gone… because she's no longer living with the person that could have helped him, but didn't.

A light wind whips up and Peter shivers.  He can't stand on the sidewalk all night or he'll freeze to death, especially with wet clothes.  He walks down into the private parking garage and towards the elevator that he knows goes up to the top of the tower and the penthouse.  FRIDAY will probably alert Tony that he's in the tower, or she'll refuse to open the door for him because his access to the tower and Mr. Stark has been revoked.  It wouldn't surprise him if that was the case.  He'd almost shoved Mr. Stark to the ground while he was yelling at him.  He has super strength, and he's dangerous.  If Mr. Stark hadn't understood that before, then he should now.

He's surprised when FRIDAY allows him entrance to the elevator.  She normally greets him when he comes in, but this time she doesn't.

"Uh… can I- can- can I go to the penthouse?" he asks.

The elevator starts moving upwards and she answers, "Yes, Peter."

He's afraid to ask what will be waiting for him when he gets up there.  Maybe Happy will be waiting to escort him straight back out of the tower.  Maybe Tony is calling the police right now, and FRIDAY will just stop the elevator around halfway up and hold him hostage there until they arrive.  Peter doesn't know.  What he does know is that he can't go back to Chicago, and that he doesn't have another place in mind to spend the night, or the rest of the winter, or his life.  He has no idea what to do at all.  He'd been lucky to get an under the table job as a runaway sixteen year old in Chicago, and that the group of college students he'd met had been willing to let him rent the closet in their apartment.

His mind flits around from city to city as the elevator rises.  Portland, Houston, New Jersey, Orlando.  He can't see himself in any of those places, because none of them have Mr. Stark and none of them feel like home.  He'll be alone wherever he goes.  He thinks that there's a high probability that he'll still be alone after tonight, but he's willing to take that chance, because this is his one shot at making amends and just maybe getting Mr. Stark back in his corner.  If he has to spend the next two years in foster care, then he'd rather do it with Mr. Stark behind him… knowing that the man has his back if something goes wrong.

His stomach squirms as the elevator continues to climb.  His freezing, numb fingers tap out a nonsense rhythm against his leg, trying to stay busy, because he wants to pace, but the elevator is too small.  Instead, he climbs the walls of his mind, thoughts circling viciously.  He's so deep in thought by the time the elevator reaches the top, that he startles when it stops moving and the doors slide open to reveal Tony's penthouse, soft Christmas music, and voices he hasn't heard in months.

He stands in the elevator and listens for long moments.  He can hear Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, and two other people he can't identify.  He thinks at first that Mr. Stark isn't there, because he can't hear his voice, but after long moments of trying to quiet his other senses, he hears the man's unsteady heartbeat and familiar 'thump thump- thump' of the heart palpitations that belong just to him.

Peter frowns as he stops focusing on Tony's heartbeat and the sounds of what must be a Christmas party filter back into his mind.  He can hear the clinking of glasses being set down on a table, a gentle laugh, a murmur about how pretty the Christmas tree in their dining room is.  Peter can't see it yet, because he still hasn't stepped out of the elevator, and the small gathering seems to be in the dining room around the corner.  He hadn't meant to invade their Christmas party.  He has the worst timing sometimes.  If he goes in there now and Tony is still angry with him, then it will ruin their family gathering.  Months ago, before their falling out, he thinks he might have been welcome at something like this, but now he's not so sure.

He goes to press the button for the parking garage again, but his hand pauses, hovering over it without pressing it.  He thinks about the dark apartment in Chicago, possibly still without power.  He doesn't know if power returned because he left ten minutes after the power went out and started hitchhiking back to New York.  That was three days ago.  He can't go back there, and he can't go back out into the cold snowy night.

"Tony?  Do you want anything?" Pepper's voice is soft, concerned.  Peter is certain she spoke softly enough that no one else in their gathering heard, but still, Peter's sensitive ears picked it up.

Tony murmurs, but doesn't speak.  He must have nodded, or shaken his head.  Something doesn't feel right, but Peter isn't certain what.  He worries for a moment that Mr. Stark got hurt on a mission or something, and decides that before he leaves, he has to see for himself that the man is all right.

Carefully, as if his feet might make too much noise on the soft carpet, Peter steps out of the elevator and into the penthouse.  He doesn't want to be seen, to alert the others of his presence.  He'll have to find someplace to hunker down for the night after he leaves here… maybe in the parking garage behind one of Tony's cars.  He won't be warm, but he'll be protected from the wind and snow.

He walks ten steps towards the kitchen, and then peers around the corner so he can see the kitchen and dining room where everyone is enjoying the small party.  Happy stands at the kitchen island, drinking something that's bright red and smells of alcohol and cranberries as he talks to the Black Widow.  Peter has only met her once, two years prior at the airport in Germany.  He hadn't met her as Peter, just as Spider Man.  Captain America is there too, trying to listen to their conversation.  Peter tunes them out as his eyes scan to the left and find Tony sitting at the round glass dining table by the Christmas tree, staring out at the city through the floor to ceiling windows.  Rhodey and Pepper sit with him, conversing in low tones about little things… chatter about day to day life, and work, and the upcoming holiday.  Peter tunes them out too, eyes on Tony as he comes out from around the corner a little more, his body moving without his permission.  The penthouse is warm and the food sitting on the counter smells good, and Peter wants to get a closer look at Tony.  He doesn't seem to be injured.  He's slumped down a little and has a full glass of something in his hand.  Peter tries to determine if it's alcohol, but at this distance, and with so many other glasses of alcohol floating around the small gathering, he can't tell if it is or if it's just water.

Tony doesn't move from his spot.  He doesn't engage in any of the conversations around him.  He sits so perfectly still that Peter has to focus in on the sound of his heart again to be sure that he's alive.  It bothers Peter… makes his breath catch and his skin tingle in a non-spider sense sort of way, because Tony is a man of movement.  He has a big presence that fills up the room.  Here amongst friends and the newly returned Rogue Avengers, he should be laughing, joking, and looming large, the life of the party.

Peter stares so long and hard at Tony's back, trying to figure out what's wrong with him, that he doesn't notice when several sets of eyes find him standing there.  It's not until Rhodey nudges Tony gently and whispers, "Tones, look," that Peter becomes aware of his surroundings again.

Happy has grown quiet and his eyes are on Peter. So are the Black Widow's.  Tony turns to look at Rhodey, and then follows his eyes to where Rhodey is looking and finds Peter.  Peter pulls in a breath and holds it.  He should leave now and not bother them anymore… not turn this party into a shouting match and ruin their Christmas fun.  But he can't move.  He's frozen to the spot by the sudden stuttering sound of Mr. Stark's heart, and of his own.

"I-" he tries to talk, but suddenly can't find the right words to say.  Maybe he should have thought harder about what to say on his way here.  He'd been procrastinating on that front though, not sure if he could fix any of this.  Tony stands up, eyes still locked on Peter as Peter clears his throat and tries again.  "I can- I can leave."  He swallows hard, throat dry.  He hasn't had any water to drink in two days.

Tony moves towards him slowly at first, but then picks up his pace.  Peter clenches his eyes shut.  If Tony hits him, he'll be sad, but he knows he deserves it, just like he deserved everything May handed out to him after Ben had died and Peter had just stood there and watched it happen.  "I- I didn't mean to interrupt your party, I- I-" he knows he's stuttering words out, rambling, not making any sense, but he doesn't know what else to do.  He's too cold, too tired, too hungry to fix anything.  He thinks that nothing will ever be fixed, that nothing will be ok ever again between them.

As Tony's footsteps draw nearer, Peter braces for impact, but is surprised when Tony pulls him into a tight hug and doesn't let go.  He stands there, awkwardly tense, because a hug hadn't been what he'd been expecting, or what he deserves.  Five seconds pass, ten, twenty, and finally Peter realizes that Tony doesn't sound right.  It's not his heart this time.  Peter opens his eyes and finds Pepper and Rhodey watching them from across the room, Pepper with her hand up over her mouth.  She looks close to tears for some reason, but Peter can't figure out why.  It's only then after seeing Pepper's face that he realizes what's wrong with Tony: he's gripping Peter tightly, like he might disappear, and he's crying into Peter's shoulder.

Tears.  Peter had expected that he might end this day in tears, back out on the street by himself, or down in the parking garage trying to stay warm.  He's cried a lot in the last few months, for himself and his poor decision making skills, for losing May, and especially for running away and losing Tony.  He'd expected his own tears, but not Tony's, or Pepper's.

Peter reaches up and wraps his arms around Tony, afraid for a moment that he'll be chastised for hugging him back, even though they had hugged frequently before Peter had run away.  Tony doesn't yell.  He doesn't say anything at all.  He just grips Peter tighter, and tears fill Peter's own eyes.

"I'm sorry," Peter whispers.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Tony hugs him tighter.  It's the nicest thing Peter has ever felt.  He's felt so adrift for the last few months, and now he feels grounded, anchored.

"Don't do that ever again, Roo.  Don't you dare," Tony says, voice rough.  He holds onto Peter for another moment, then lets go.  He wipes at his eyes with the arm of his soft pullover and looks Peter over.  Peter doesn't bother to wipe his own tears away.  He already knows that he looks like a mess.  His hair is messy and damp, his clothes are dirty and worn through because he'd only taken a few items of clothing with him when he'd left, and he has bags under his eyes that have been there for a while.

Peter moves to take a step back, even though he wishes he could hug Tony again.  He startles when Tony's hand shoots out and grips the fabric at his shoulder, holding him in place.  Peter finds both panic and warning in Mr. Stark's eyes.  "You're not going anywhere."

Peter shakes his head.  He doesn't want to go anywhere.  He's sorry that he'll probably find himself sleeping in a bed in a stranger's home or a group foster home later tonight.  He wants nothing more than to stay right here with Mr. Stark, interrupting his Christmas party.

"Tony- maybe you should get him some dry clothes."  It's Steve, and as soon as he says it, Peter realizes again that he's freezing and numb.  Tony doesn't move though.  He just stands there, holding Peter in place for long moments, like he's afraid Peter will bolt if he lets go.

"Tones."  Rhodey comes up behind him and says, "Come on, Steve's right.  Let's get him some dry clothes.  He's soaking wet."

Tony nods and turns towards the master bedroom, still holding onto Peter's hoodie.  Rhodey looks like he wants to say something about it, but keeps his mouth shut as the three of them make their way through the now silent gathering.  Even the Christmas music had stopped playing at some point, but Peter doesn't remember hearing anyone tell FRIDAY to turn it off.

They make it into the master bedroom and out of sight of the rest of the gathering.  Rhodey shuts the door behind them, and then turns and sighs at the sight of Tony still gripping Peter's shirt.  "Tones, you can let him go.  He's not going anywhere."

"This kid climbs out windows and down the side of buildings."

"And right now he looks like he's ready to fall over."  Rhodey points at Peter and says, "You're not going anywhere."  It's not a question, so Peter doesn't answer.  Tony finally lets go of his shirt, though Peter kind of wishes he wouldn't.

"Find him something to wear," Rhodey instructs.  Then he turns to Peter and says, "Do you feel up to taking a quick shower?  That's the fastest way to warm you up."

Peter nods.  He expects to be led back out through the party and to the guest room he sometimes stayed in before running away so he can use the shower there, but Rhodey points into the master bathroom.  Peter looks to Tony for permission, but he's busy digging around in his walk-in closet to find something for Peter to wear.  In just a few moments, a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt and a hoodie are pressed into his arms.

"There's no windows in there that open," Tony says.  Peter opens his mouth to tell him he's not leaving unless they want him to, but Rhodey steps in between them and motions for Peter to go into the bathroom and shut the door.

"The faster you shower, the faster you can get something to eat."

Peter gives one last look to Tony, who isn't meeting his eyes, and disappears into the bathroom and shuts the door.  The man still looks close to tears, and Peter doesn't know why.

* * *

Rhodey has watched his friend go into a downward spiral several times.  This time it had been more like a free-fall, something that Rhodey never wants to witness again.  Tony had called Child Protective Services on May Parker, wanting to get Peter out of her home and into the safety of his own, but before he could explain that to the kid, he'd run away.  That had been the start to what Rhodey assumed would be a downward spiral like the other times Tony has lost loved ones or been through something traumatic.  It had happened after Howard and Maria had died, and again two years after that when Jarvis had died.  It had happened after Afghanistan, though he had been surprised then to find that the spiral had been upward, propelled skyward and towards destroying terrorists with a red and gold suit of armor.  Finally, it had happened after the battle of New York, though that spiral hadn't been as bad as any of the times before.

When Peter took off and they couldn't find him after several days, Tony had skipped the spiral and fallen so hard and fast that it had worried Rhodey and Pepper both.  Even Happy hadn't expected that from him.  He'd skipped drinking, and fallen right into self-recriminations, worry, and depression.  To be clear, they were all worried about Peter and wanted to find him and bring him home safely, but not like Tony was worried.

Rhodey and Pepper had organized the small Christmas party tonight for two reasons: first, to try to lift Tony's spirits.  That hadn't worked at all.  Second, to see what information Natasha and Steve had found out about Peter.  Tony had reached out to the team of Rogues he'd been intent on never talking to again within days of Peter disappearing, and had asked for their help.  Having Natasha and Steve there in person was a good way, Rhodey thought, to get the most up to date information on their investigation into where Peter had disappeared to.

None of them had expected to look up during the party and find the same missing child standing in the doorway, looking like a half drowned puppy with messy hair, pale skin, and bags under his eyes.  Peter looked only marginally worse than Tony.  Tony, at least, wasn't soaking wet.

Now, Rhodey sits next to his friend in the master bedroom as they wait for Peter to emerge from the bathroom, clean, and hopefully warm.  Tony fidgets with his fingers.  It annoys Rhodey, but he's anxious too, not so much for Peter, but for his best friend… his self-proclaimed little brother.  Peter is back now, but that doesn't mean that Tony will just magically bounce back from the mental distress he's been in for the last three months.  Rhodey knows him too well.  It's the reason Rhodey took a leave of absence from the military and moved back into the tower down on the 81st floor next to Happy.  His friend needs him.  Pepper had needed him there too, and so had Happy.  Now, miraculously they have Peter back, and Rhodey will do whatever he can to help Peter as well.

"He looks all right," Rhodey comments.

"He looks thin," Tony snaps.  It's only a moment before he stops fidgeting and looks up to Rhodey to give him a sorry look.  Rhodey brushes his friend's harsh tone off.  It's not often that Tony gets so overwhelmed with something that he starts snapping at people, so Rhodey isn't bothered by it.

"He's alive.  He's here.  That's what matters."

"Yeah, for how long," Tony huffs.  "How long until I chase him away again?"

"You didn't chase him away-"

Tony cuts him off.  It's an argument they've had off and on since Peter left.  "You didn't see him, Rhodes.  You didn't hear the things he shouted at me… how angry he was.  You weren't there when he pushed me in the lab.  I took away his last family member without even talking to him about it.  He had every right to be angry.  Don't tell me I didn't chase him away, because that's exactly what I did.  He left because of me… my fault.  I still don't even know where he went, or if he was safe, or if he had enough to eat.  Clearly not," Tony huffs again, motioning up at the closed bathroom door.

Rhodey sits with Tony's words for a few moments.  He doesn't agree with most of what his best friend just said, but if he speaks right away, Tony won't be ready to listen.  When he does speak again, he's not sure if Tony is ready to listen then either.  "He's a kid.  He was hurt and angry, and he made a dumb decision.  Clearly he knows it was the wrong one if he came back here."

When Rhodey looks at his friend to see if he's listening, he finds Tony looking at him, worry written all over his face.

"And what if he got hurt out there?  What if someone hurt him?  He was alone when he wasn't supposed to be.  I was supposed to be there for him, and I wasn't."

He wants to tell Tony, 'You weren't there to help him because of his choices, not yours.'  Instead he says, "So be there now."  Tony and Rhodey both turn back to the closed bathroom door and stare mutely at it for a few moments.  "I think that's what Peter wants.  You had plans to take him in before he left.  You've got the paperwork all in order.  Technically he's in your custody.  So help him."

Tony gives a humorless laugh.  "Right, just pick up where we left off."

Sometimes, Rhodey is amazed that Tony still doesn't understand how family works.  But then again, given how Tony grew up, it shouldn't surprise him.  But Rhodey has been there for him since college, since Tony was fifteen.  Even if they fought, Rhodey stuck by his side.  Every time Tony spiraled, Rhodey was there to pick him back up.  After Happy and Pepper came into Tony's life, they were the same way.  Even now, Steve and Natasha are in the living room, there that evening not for a party, but to deliver their most recent information.  They'd come back to help Tony look for Peter, because Tony had needed them to… had needed their help despite that their last fight had broken up the Avengers and almost killed Tony and Rhodey both.

"Yeah, Tones," Rhodey says gently.  "That's what you do, 'cause that's probably what he needs.  Stuff happened, he left.  But you're family, so you do your best to pick up where you left off.  It doesn't matter whose fault it was.  He ran away, and now he's back.  He's still sixteen.  He's still your responsibility since you signed that mountain of paperwork."

"He hates me."

Rhodey looks up at the ceiling in the semi-dark bedroom and prays for strength.  Sometimes, he needs extra patience he just doesn't have when dealing with Tony.

"He doesn't, and even if that was true, he's a kid.  He thinks and acts like a kid.  He makes decisions like a kid.  Judging by the look on his face when you let go of him earlier, he doesn't hate you."

Tony considers his words.  "How'd he look?" he asks, voice quiet.

"You know how he looked.  Adrift.  Sad.  Alone."

"You know me and feelings, Platypus."  He tries to say it with a playful tone, but Rhodey isn't buying it.  "I don't do feelings."

If Tony had his way, he'd have people in general believe that he feels nothing, doesn't care about what people think of him, or what they say about him.  Rhodey, Pepper and Happy know that it's exactly the opposite.  Tony feels too much.  He always has.  Case in point, him panicking about losing Peter, and then growing mostly quiet for the last three months except to talk about plans of finding him.  The way he held Peter and wouldn't let go… didn't care for just a few minutes that there were others in the room when he broke down into tears at seeing the kid he's come to see as his own again.  The way he refused to let go of Peter's shirt sleeve, afraid he'd run away again.  It all points to Tony being a big fat liar about not feeling a thing, but then again, Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy have known him long enough to know that already.

Tony knows that Rhodey doesn't buy a word of what he said, so Rhodey doesn't point it out.

A moment later, the bathroom door opens, and Peter appears, looking at the floor.  Rhodey can practically feel the anxious, nervous energy vibrating off of Peter and Tony both.  He's not certain if Tony wants him to stay, or go, so he stays seated for the moment.

"Hey, you hungry?" Tony asks.

Peter nods, but doesn't look up at them.

"We'll get you some more clothes in the morning.  Ones that fit better."

Another nod.

"Look, Roo, I'm sorry about everything that happened."  Rhodey knows that he's more than sorry.  He's been beating himself up over this since the day that Peter ran away.  He's surprised when Tony continues talking though, and says, "I'm not sorry that I called CPS though.  I couldn't let you stay for another minute in that house with what was going on there.  It wasn't safe.  I couldn't see you get hurt again.  I'm selfish like that."

Finally, Peter's eyes come up to meet Tony's.  Rhodey is staring at him too.  He's more than a little impressed that Tony didn't just apologize and take all the blame for once.  It's a very un-Tonylike thing to do–far more mature than Rhodey had expected from him.

When Peter doesn't say anything, Tony keeps talking.  "I didn't get a chance to say this before you left, but we had a plan.  I don't know if you're going to like it or not, but it's already been put into place.  I had to call the authorities to get you out of there, and to have proof that May shouldn't have custody of you.  Once I had that proof in hand, my laywers got to work and were able to get me full custody of you.  It was supposed to take a week, two at most.  I know that staying in foster care for two weeks wasn't ideal, but that's how it had to happen.  You left before any of that could get started though."

Rhodey's eyes shift from his friend to Peter's face.  There are tears welling in his eyes, and his mouth is hanging slightly open, surprised.

"You- you were gonna-" he can't seem to finish his thought, throat tight.

"Yeah, buddy, I was.  I wasn't just going to take you out of your home and let you sit in foster care.  I wouldn't."

"But- but-" Peter still can't talk.  He struggles to find any words as his tears start to fall.  He looks and sounds more upset with himself than with Tony.

"It was harder to make things happen with you gone, but our lawyers used you running away as proof that May's apartment wasn't a good place for you.  They were able to get me and Pepper full custody."  Tony's voice catches then.  Rhodey doesn't need to look at him to tell that he's starting to struggle to speak too.  "We've been looking for you for a long time, buddy.  Everyone's been looking for you."

Rhodey does look this time, and finds that Tony has tears in his eyes again.  He only gets a brief glimpse because Peter throws himself at Tony then and he lets out a soft, "Oompf."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Peter repeats like he did out in the living room.

Tony doesn't respond.  He just holds his son tight.  Rhodey knows that Pepper is waiting eagerly in the living room to do the same, to hug Peter and tell him how much she missed him.  In the weeks leading up to Tony calling the authorities about Peter's living situation, Peter had practically been living at the penthouse, and before that, he'd been bouncing back and forth between Ned and MJ's houses.

"I'm not always gonna get it right," Tony says.  His voice is muffled because his face is pressed partly into Peter's shoulder.  "I'm going to make mistakes.  But I need time to make things right.  We're family now, ok?  You have to stick around long enough for us to figure things out together."

Peter mumbles something that neither of them hear.  Tony asks him to repeat it, but he doesn't.

A moment later, Pepper opens the bedroom door and slips inside.  It seems that she can't wait any longer to check on Peter and to make sure that he's ok.  Tony has been quiet, depressed, and full of anxious energy trying to find him, but Peter is Pepper's adopted son now too.  She's been just as upset about his disappearance, even if she'd channeled all of her nervous, upset energy differently than Tony had.

Pepper takes in the scene before her, Rhodey and Tony sitting next to each other on the edge of the bed, and Peter hugging Tony and crying quietly.

"Natasha and Steve left.  Happy is still here."  She walks around the edge of the bed and takes in Tony's moist eyes.  She reaches out for the back of Peter's hair, but pauses and looks at Tony, eyes asking if he thinks it's ok to pat Peter on the head or rest her hand there.  Tony gives a nod.

"Peter, honey," she says gently.  She places her hand on the back of his head and then gently runs her fingers through his damp hair.  "I'm so glad you're home."

This time when Peter mumbles into Tony's shirt, they hear him.  "Me too."

Rhodey, like the rest of them, has questions about if Peter is all right, where he's been, and who he's been staying with if anyone.  But right now what Peter needs is food and sleep.  He exchanges a look with Pepper and then Tony, and that silent understanding seems to pass between the three of them.

"Honey, why don't you come have some food and say hi to Happy?  Then you can get some rest."

Peter lets go of Tony and stands up straight.  He swipes a sleeve across both eyes and nods.  Before he can start for the door to the living room however, Pepper pulls him into a hug.  He hugs her back without hesitation.

"We missed you," she says.

"Me too.  I- I missed you both."

Rhodey stands and leaves the room, giving them some space for a few minutes.  Back in the kitchen, Happy has his own sort of nervous, grumpy energy about him.  No one has been in good spirits since Peter left.

"How is he?  Is he hurt?  Where was he?"

"We don't know yet," Rhodey says.  "He took a shower and changed.  Tony told him that he and Pepper have custody of him now."

Happy gives a grunt of acknowledgement and then takes a sip of his drink.  "Kid just shows up out of the blue," he grumbles.  "Doesn't make much sense."

"It might after we hear his story."

Happy grunts in acknowledgement again, and they settle in to wait.  It's only a few minutes until Tony, Pepper and Peter come out of the bedroom.  Peter's eyes are red rimmed, and he's biting the thumbnail on one hand, the long sleeves on Tony's MIT hoodie coming up over Peter's knuckles, but he has a small smile, and Rhodey is glad to see it.  He wonders what Tony and Pepper said to him to make him smile.  After hearing what Tony said to him earlier… how certain and fatherly Tony had sounded as he spoke to his son, despite that Rhodey knows how uncertain Tony can sometimes be… Rhodey has no doubt that whatever was said is just what Peter needed to hear.

Tony and Peter sit down at the kitchen island and Pepper moves to get Peter a plate.  She starts loading it up with food.  It's not a full Christmas dinner, but close to it.  They'd ordered it in, in the hopes that Tony would eat a little more than he has been.  Rhodey is pleased to note that as soon as Pepper sets a plate down in front of Peter, she starts preparing another one and then sets it in front of Tony.

Tony takes a few bites.  He's still side by side with Peter, their shoulder's brushing.  Considering that he'd been unwilling to release his grip on Peter's shirt sleeve earlier, Rhodey thinks that this is a good compromise.

They let Peter eat in silence.  The only questions they ask are if he's full, if he wants more cranberry sauce or stuffing, or some more turkey.  Peter eats his fill, and then looks too tired to answer questions.  No one seems keen on pushing him to talk tonight.  Having him here, home, for now, is enough.  Their most pressing question of 'where is Peter?' has been answered.  He's right here in front of them, full, warm, dry, and safe. 

"Can- I go to sleep?" Peter asks like he's hopeful, but uncertain.

"Yeah.  Yeah, you can go to sleep, bud.  Your room is still made up, just like you left it."

Peter slides off the stool, gives an uncertain look to Tony, then to Pepper, and heads for the bedroom door off of the kitchen.  He gives Happy a small, nervous smile, and then disappears behind the door and closes it.

"FRIDAY," Tony says.  "Lock down the penthouse."

Rhodey expects Happy to gruff about it, but he doesn't.  He nods, like it's a good idea.

"Couldn't even let us get out to go home first?" Rhodey asks.

"You are home, Platypus."  Tony tries to put on that joking tone he uses again when he's trying to cover up how he's feeling.  Rhodey wonders how long he'll carry this anxiety around with him, that Peter will run away again.  He hopes that this is the only night he plans on locking the penthouse down.  He's certain that Peter will soon grow tired and annoyed with Tony sticking so close, or keeping such close tabs on him.  Knowing Tony, it could go on for months.

"Did he say anything about where he was?" Happy asks.

"Not yet," Pepper says.  "We're going to talk to him tomorrow."

"This can't happen again," Happy says.

Rhodey eyes him.  Maybe Happy has been more worried about Peter than he'd thought.  Throughout it all, he's been no nonsense, step by step, one thing, then the next, and then we'll find him, about everything.  He'd seemed more put together than Rhodey had felt as he tried to find Peter and hold his best friend together at the same time.

"I'm going to bed," Rhodey says.  He pushes away from the kitchen island and heads for one of the two remaining guest rooms in the penthouse.

"Good night," Pepper says quietly.

"Night."

Somehow, he thinks the three of them will be up for some time, standing in the kitchen and waiting to see if Peter will come back out, discussing once again, where he must have been all of this time.

* * *

Peter feels exhausted.  He slept.  He knows he slept, but when he wakes up, he's tired, he feels chilled, and his body aches.  His eyes especially ache with all of the crying he'd done the night before.

In all the time he'd been away, he'd never imagined that people were looking for him.  He thought they might look for a day, or a week at most.  They'd never stopped.  The Rogue Avengers had been out searching all over the place.  Tony had hired private investigators, Pepper had called around to police precincts all over the nation, Happy had been scouring the city, and Rhodey had been flying out to various places to follow up on leads that Natasha or Clint had sent back.

Peter had been surprised to find out just how hard they had looked and how worried they'd been for him.  Pepper had briefly explained it to him before he'd eaten dinner and gone to bed, but he thinks there's more to it than he was told.

He stretches, looks at the clock on his night stand, and wishes he could go back to sleep.  It's already nine forty AM, and he thinks that if he doesn't make an appearance soon, that Tony might start to worry again.  He can't get the look on Tony's face the night before out of his mind… the tears in his eyes and the way he'd held onto Peter and was unwilling to let him go.

He pulls the covers off of himself, but regrets it immediately and decides to wrap himself up in the smaller, softer gray blanket that usually sits on top of his comforter.  He wraps it around his shoulders and then wears it like a cape on his way to his bedroom door.  He could have ended up on the streets last night… could be spending his morning in the parking garage right now trying to figure out what to eat or where to go next.  But he's not out there.  He's in here.  With his family.

That too had been a surprise.  He'd been so upset with Tony for calling the authorities to report May, that he hadn't taken the time to hear him out.  He'd been right about that.  Peter had left, run away from his problems without giving his family a chance to fix it.  They'd felt like family before he'd left, though he'd never given it enough thought to realize that.  He should have, he thinks.  He should have given Tony a chance.  Maybe then he could have stayed in New York… could have survived a week or two away from May in foster care, and then come back here to live with Tony and Pepper.

A family.  My family.  He tries to wrap his mind around it as he pulls open his bedroom door and steps out into the kitchen.  Before this, family had been his parents.  Then it had been May and Ben, back when things were still good, back before Ben had been mugged and died.  He had thought, for quite a while after that, that family had been May, and had been willing to eke out that existence with her.  But then Ned had come along, and MJ, and Tony, Pepper and Happy, and he'd remembered once again what family is supposed to be like.  Realizing now that his family has spent three months looking for him, have all been worried about him… it makes him sorry and excited at the same time.  Sorry that he worried them all, and that he ran away, but excited that he was able to come back to them… to come home for Christmas and find them ready and waiting.

"Hi, honey," Pepper greets him.  "Are you cold?"

He looks up at her, confused, and she motions towards the blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"Yeah.  I can't get warm."

"Can I touch your face to feel for a fever?"

He nods, and she reaches up to his forehead with the back of her hand.  "A little warm, but nothing too bad.  How long were you out in the cold and snow?"

Peter notes that Tony is listening from the living room where he sits next to Rhodey.  Happy must have gone home the night before and not come back yet.

"Uh… most of the day yesterday.  And a bit before that."

Pepper motions for him to head to the living room and says, "Do you want some hot chocolate or tea?"

"Yes please."

Peter leaves her there and goes to the living room.  Tony holds his arm up to indicate there's a space next to him on the couch, and Peter doesn't hesitate to sit down next to him and lean into his side, soaking up his warmth.

"What does that mean?" Tony asks after Peter is settled.  "Most of yesterday, and a bit before that.  How long is a bit?"

"I was in the cold off and on for the past few days.  Sometimes I was in cars, sometimes I was walking."

"You hitchhiked?" Rhodey asks for confirmation.

Peter nods, and Tony presses his lips together in disapproval.  "Ok, first off, that never happens again.  Second off, that never happens again.  Hitchhiking is dangerous.  People get killed that way."

Peter holds up both hands, wiggling his fingers.  "Super strength."

"Never again," Tony reiterates, entirely serious.

Peter lets his mouth hang open a little for a moment, but then nods.  "Yeah, ok.  I won't do it again."

"If you're somewhere else, and you want to come home, you call me.  I'll be there," Tony promises.

Peter nods and presses himself further into Tony's side.

"Where were you hitchhiking from?" Rhodey asks.

"Chicago."

Peter expects more questions, but they both stay silent.  He looks up to see what's wrong just as Pepper comes into the living room.  She hands him a cup of hot chocolate, and then sits down next to him so that he's sandwiched between her and Tony.

"You were in Chicago," Tony says.  "This whole time?"

"Yeah.  I went straight there."

The three adults seem to have an entire conversation with just their eyes then, a conversation he's not privy to.

"We were in Chicago," Rhodey finally says.  "Someone thought they saw you.  Tony and I spent a week there looking for you last month."

"Where were you?" Tony asks quietly.  His arm tightens marginally around Peter's shoulders… protectively, Peter thinks.

"I got a job at a pizza place doing dishes, mopping, that sort of thing.  They were paying me under the table.  I made just enough for some food and rent."

"You paid rent?" Tony asks.  "On your own?"

Peter shrugs.  "Four hundred dollars a month.  It was just a closet with a cot."

"Who were you staying with?" Pepper asks gently because Tony seems too angry or upset to ask himself at the moment.

"A bunch of college students.  It was an apartment near the University of Illinois."

"Did they know you were a minor?" Tony asks, and it sounds like he's talking through gritted teeth.

"I told them I was 18."

"We were all over that campus and the surrounding area looking for you," Rhodey says.  "We showed your picture to people all over that part of the city.  No one knew you or had seen you, but that's where we'd gotten a tip that you might be."

"I'm sorry."

Pepper reaches up and runs her fingers through the hair on the left side of his forehead.  "Peter, honey, we're just glad that you're safe, and that you're home.  You're important to us and we don't ever want to see you get hurt, or to have you leave and not know where you are and that you're safe."

"Yeah," he whispers.  He knows that now.  He wishes he would have realized it before.

Peter shivers a little next to Tony despite the warmth radiating off of him.  Tony pulls back a little to see him better, and then says, "You feeling ok?"

"'M cold.  I don't really feel all that great."

"Your shoes and hair were soaking wet when you got home last night.  It doesn't surprise me."  He looks across Peter to Pepper.  "I'm going to make him breakfast."

Tony stands up, and Pepper takes that as her cue to hold her arm out to Peter.  He looks at her and asks, "Are you sure?  I'll probably get you sick."

"It wouldn't be the first Christmas we've spent feeling sick.  If it happens, it happens."

"Speak for yourselves," Rhodey says.  "Keep your germs over there.  I'll wait for a hug from my nephew until he feels better."

"You don't know what you're missing out on," Tony calls from the kitchen.  "My kid gives the best hugs."

Peter scooches down on the couch a little and snuggles closer to Pepper.  This is way better than a parking garage or a cold dark closet in an apartment in Chicago.

* * *

Peter spends the next two days not feeling well.  He wakes up on Christmas morning groggy and still feeling a little chilled, but a lot better than the previous few days.

He's been surprised by a lot of things in the last few days and feels like he shouldn't be surprised anymore, but he is.  He's surprised to find that there are a few presents for him under the Christmas tree, and that he even has one from Rhodey.

"What, you think I'm going to miss my first Christmas with my only nephew?" he asks at the stunned look on Peter's face as he drops a Christmas gift into his lap.

"I- uh…" Peter swallows, his throat still a little sore from the past few days, and says, "thank you."

"Where's the rest of that?" Rhodey asks.

Peter looks to Tony for help, and then to Pepper.  He's sitting cross legged in between them on the couch, the Christmas tree twinkling not far off, and a warm fire going in the gas fireplace.

"You got me kid.  I don't know what he's on about either."

"Thank you uncle Rhodey," Rhodey says, completing the sentence himself.

Peter's heart swells just a bit.  He hasn't even gotten up the nerve to call Tony and Pepper mom and dad yet… is still trying to wrap his mind around having parents again that he can call his own, and now Rhodey wants to be called uncle?

"Thank you, uncle Rhodey," he says.

Tony rubs his hand up and down Peter's back a couple times by his shoulders, like he knows how hard it was for Peter to say that.

"Better," Rhodey says.

Happy immediately starts to grumble.  "If anyone is going to be called uncle, it's me.  I've known him longer."

"I'm Tony's brother," Rhodey says, pointing at himself with his thumb and a half grin.

"And I'm not?  After all the things I've been through with him?" Happy says with an incredulous tone.

Peter leans in to whisper to Tony.  "Are they fighting over you, or me?"

Tony smirks.  "Both.  This is normal when they're both in the same room."

"Uh-" Peter says.  He clears his throat again and winces a little at how much it hurts.  "Thanks for the gift, uncle Rhodey.  And you too, uncle Happy."  Happy has a present in his hands all wrapped up and waiting to hand to Peter next.

"Good man," Tony whispers just loud enough for Peter to hear.  Then, louder, he says, "Good way to make the kids stop bickering."

"Kids-" Rhodey sputters.  "I've got five years on you old man."

Happy snorts in satisfaction.  "I've got a year on him.  He's the baby of the family."

Tony leans forward, pulling his arm away from Peter's back.  "You had better be talking about the kid."

Tony looks to Pepper for help, but she only smiles and says, "My birthday is the month before yours.  I'm 22 days older.  They're right."

Tony sits back against the couch again.  "Unbelievable.  Are you hearing this, Roo?  They're picking on me and it's Christmas.  What did I do to deserve this?"  Before anyone can think to answer, he says, "Don't answer that.  Rhetorical question.  I know exactly what I did.  Everyone always picks on the genius, billionaire, dad, philanthropist."

"That's-" Rhodey looks at Happy.

"Yeah, I don't know what to do with that either."

Pepper does though.  She reaches behind Peter and sets her hand on Tony's shoulder.  "I like the sound of that one," she says with a smile, "much better than the other title."

"Pfft… yeah, ok," Tony says, and Peter wonders why his dad's face is turning pink.

They finish opening presents, they eat a big breakfast, and later on a huge lunch and Christmas dinner.  During that time they watch a couple of Christmas movies, and Peter finds the time to nap somewhere in there, his body needing the rest to overcome the cold he's got.

Later on, after dinner, when Happy and Rhodey have both gone back to their own apartments on a lower floor, Peter sits at the glass kitchen table by the Christmas tree and stares out the window at the city lights.  His hands are wrapped around a warm cup of hot chocolate, his fourth or fifth that day.  Bathed in the warm glow of the tree, soft blanket still wrapped around his shoulders as it has been for days now, Peter has a feeling of hope for the first time in months.

Tony sits down next to him, a cup of hot decaf coffee in hand.  "Have a good Christmas?" he asks.

Peter turns to him a little and smiles.  "The best."

"You doing ok?"

Peter considers the question, maybe for a little too long, because when he looks back at Tony, his dad seems worried.  "Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Finding you was never a question.  We were always going to find you, the only question was how long it was going to take."  And then, just to be clear, because maybe Tony thinks he wasn't, he finishes with, "I'm never gonna give up on you, Roo.  Not gonna happen."

Peter feels warm, and like he has a lot in the last few days, he feels loved.  He turns back to the window and the city lights, smiling to himself, glad to finally be home.