Work Text:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hunter heard from a distance, the distant screaming spooking him.
"WHAT THE TITAN-" He screamed, only to see these.. weird anime characters?? They just spawned there with zero context whatsoever.. and is that Polites? From EPIC?
"Yeah.. I'm hallucinating. Did my uncle come back from the dead?" His breathing was getting more ragged, shallow and panicked, he shut down, panicking and almost crying.
All you can hear is ragged, shallow breaths and muffled whimpers of Hunter being scared half to his "grim" death (plz laugh) only for his panics to be dishevelled by Polites.
"Hi :3" Polites teleported in front of a panicked Hunter.
"Wh- what.." He hesitantly replied in a panic, obviously extremely scared and vulnerable.
"YOU were the noise that made me think my dead-ass uncle was rising from the dead? also why are you a pancake..."
*Polites pancake noises*
"You're right.. it wouldn't hurt to go outside.." Hunter mumbled, walking outside only to see the whole Evilious Chronicles cast arguing with The Owl House cast.
"WHAT THE FU-"
...
"Oh ho ho ho! A new person!" A higher pitched more feminine voice exclaimed, "Now, kneel before me peasant!"
"Riliane, shush."
"AT LEAST IM NOT HEADLESS-"
"Hey, calm down dude." Gus Porter interrupted, trying to calm down this sibling squabble before it gets more heated.
*Lumity kiss intensifies*
"Interesting..." Sati glances at the wlw couple.
Hunter walks closer to the chaos that is currently erupting across this crossover.
"How did you guys even.. y'know.. GET here?"
The Evilious cast just glances at eachother, and back at a questioning Hunter as Banica just eats a comically large sized burrito from Taco Bell. (big back..)
*silly introduction scene I'm not writing*
"This will be pretty.. fun..." Luz said to the rest of the cast, confusion written all over her face. She just goes back to being homo with Amity.
"GIRLKISSERS!!" Screamed Riliane Lucifien. "GET THEM OUT OF MY SIGHT!" She waved her fan dramatically as Amity angrily started to prepare her abomination magic.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
A few minutes later and just a TINY little fight left both of them exhausted after having a fun little fight.
Sateriasis is out doing.. things with his harem. (will not be discussed)
Allen spotted Hunter just standing alone, thinking about life and other random things.
"Hey.." Allen attempts to speak to Hunter, while he is just zoning out.
"The hell you want..?"
"God-damn. No need to be so rude.." Allen replied.
"Who's God?"
awkward silence...
"Okay..."
"Also why are you headless?" Hunter pestered Allen with a teasing manner.
"OH MY BERISOL AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET POSESSED AND MY BIRD DIED"
"AT LEAST I'M NOT SHIPPED WITH MY SISTER HALF THE TIME- OH SHIT I AM-" Hunter replied
"HAHA YOU AND ME BOTH- ANYWAYS AT LEAST I'M NOT A CLONE!" Allen pestered Hunter
"AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET STRIPPED AWAY FROM MY SIBLING AND RAISED WITHOUT HER!"
"AT LEAST THE CREATOR OF THIS.. WHATEVER THIS FANFIC IS.. DOESN'T SHIP HERSELF WITH ME!"
"SHE WHAT?!"
"nothing! :3"
"Okay- okay.. just gotta cope with that information now.."
*Allen and Hunter squabbles*
Everyone else!
Banica is ordering McDelivery and is wondering why she can't order 3 quadrillion mcnuggets for herself because the cost is approximately 38 million dollars.
Willow, Gus, Amity, and Luz are enjoying a tea party even though Luz is secretly having 13 mental breakdowns.
"So.. how is your day going?" Gus asked Luz
"..."
"Okay.."
Banica's McDonalds Saga:
Banica somehow knew how to use a phone, I don't know.. fanfiction logic. She dialed the number for the local McDonalds an dialed it aggressively, once the McDonald's operator picked up the phone, he answered. "Hello, welcome to McDonald's, what would you like to order?"
"Hello! I'd like 3 quadrillion McNuggets, a large coke, and 25 big Macs."
"Only a large coke for that..?" The operator at McDonald's asked. "Wait- 3 QUADRILLION?"
"Do you want me to send my husband after you..?"
"N-no ma'am.."
"I said 3 quadrillion mcnuggets. Right here, right now sir."
"I-I don't think we're able to serve that.. just saying.. that's an inhumane amount of mcnuggets.. maybe just one twenty pack?"
"I'd like 100 of those."
"That'll be 269.99$"
"Say less.. GALLERIAN!! I'M HERE TO STEAL YOUR MONEY! ;) "
GALLERIAN: "No."
"Yes. Do you want me to eat your money?"
Banica digs her hand in Gallerian's pockets, to find the money she needs for the McDonalds order of 100 20 pc McNuggets, 25 big Macs, and a large coke. Soon after, the McDelivery arrived to their location as Gallerian watched his money be wasted on Banica's endless eating. Gallerian's precious money, HIS precious money. He is one step closer to transforming into his alpha beast prince form.. one of his eyewhites darkened to a soulless black and his voice deepened.
Banica is quarter-way eating her McDonalds, savouring her delicious empty calories of a possibly unhealthy, although yummy meal. Until Luz stepped up to her, wanting some of her food.
"Please..?" Luz pleaded for food.
"Nuh uh.."
"Yuh huh!"
"Nuh uh- fine.." Banica reached for the McNuggets box and "generously" gave her one McNugget out of her way so Luz will no longer keep up the attitude of annoying Banica. Luz gobbles up the nugget like there's no tomorrow and walks back like she didn't just gobble up a McNugget like there was no tomorrow. Banica begins to ponder if she should order more McDonalds.
"Maybe if I let Gallerian have a burger..?" She spoke to herself, hoping Gallerian will just automatically forgive her for "borrowing" more of his money for more food because Banica is just a black hole for food at this point, specifically McDonalds.
A voice suddenly spoke up from literally out of nowhere
"Attention! Your portal will close in 30 minutes and you have to come back! Or not... I don't know how to script announcements.. the uhh.. store is closing!! Bye-bye!!"
They have only 30 more minutes to cause chaos and have extreme arguments and things before the "portal"? closes. So all hell broke loose.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
...
"Allen..?" Riliane's voice spoke out to him, in the last few minutes of y'know.. them being here.
"Yeah..?"
"Why in Berisol did you insult me.. when we first came here!"
"Uhhh..."
"OFF WITH HIS HEAD"
"I'm in a fanfic anyways.."
*servant of evil lyrics*