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Reid stared at the window blankly, rain pattering against it. He could see the dark circles and bags under his eyes, his lips drooped down into a frown, the darkness of the night casting a shadow on his face. Reid had felt empty and hollow, a part of him missing. He hadn’t been able to sleep well lately. No matter what he tried, his body was always wide awake, allowing him no sleep until he had passed out after long periods of time. On one occasion, he had woken a sleepy Jack up, asking why his father was up this late. To prevent Jack from waking up on school nights, Reid asked Jack’s Aunt Jessica to take care of him for a while, until he was able to get his sleep back on track.
Millions of thoughts ran through his head, none of them processing. He’d forget what he was doing, what had happened, and he’d forget the answer to the question, where was Aaron? Reading made his head pound, and it was too late to call up any of the other members from the team. There was no point in playing any of his music if it just went through one ear and out the other. The clock read 3:29 A.M and Reid sighed.
In an attempt to distract himself, Reid had decided to research on one of his new favorite authors. Aaron had introduced them to him a few months into their relationship after Reid had asked for some more book recommendations. They had written romance novels with a hint of drama, and Reid, not wanting to say no, had picked up one of their books and it was surprisingly enjoyable.
He had currently finished a book of theirs called Our Love is My Refuge, and it was a brilliant book that left him craving more. Hotch and Reid enjoyed reading the books out loud so the other wouldn’t be to far ahead or too far behind. They would be at the same pace and they could react at the same time, and they would be able to hold each other.
Reid had sprung up from his chair in a moment of glee when he read that the sequel to the book was coming out soon. His heart had leapt up in joy. Hotch would be so happy. Before he knew it, his hands were gliding across the phone, going to the keypad where he started to dial Hotch’s number. His smile was wide as he heard the first rings. Outside, the rain grew harder and louder.
“This is Aaron Hotchner. I’m not here right now.” It felt as if there was an knife slicing through his chest. “Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” Memories flooded back into his mind, and tears flooded his eyes. The flashbacks from the hospital ran through his mind. He remembered the tightening of his chest when he heard the news.
“Reid, Hotch was.. he was shot.” Reid felt as if he couldn’t breathe, as if someone had removed his lungs and told him to have fun. He was sucking in air too fast. He felt the room was spinning.
Later in the hospital, he heard, “I’m sorry, Dr. Reid. Your fiancé.. he didn’t make it.” He heard the sharp intake of breath by his other teammates. He had fell to his knees. He couldn’t hear anything that was being said anymore, and before he knew it, Jack was hugging him tightly. He felt as if the room was squeezing him tightly, and he gasped for breath.
Back to reality, Reid felt like he was suffocating. He choked out a small sob, and started to pace. “No! No no no no no! H-He can’t be dead. This can’t be real, they’re playing a joke on me. Aaron is strong. He can’t just die.” He pinched himself, hoping that it was just a dream. Hotch couldn’t be dead, he’d only proposed to him a couple of months ago. Reid dialed JJ, sobbing as the phone rang. It rang three times before a groggy female voice answered.
“Reid?"
“J-JJ, he’s dead. I love him and I can’t tell him anymore and he’s dead, dead, dead." The tears blurred his vision. He heard the creaking of JJ’s bed as she shifted.
“Reid-,” She’s cut off by Reid shouting dead over and over again, until a loud sob fills the phone. “Reid, I’ll be right there. Don’t leave the house and don't do anything dangerous.” He heard her in the background scribbling something down on a paper, most likely a note for Will.
Reid let out more sobs until he got enough air to speak. “I miss him so much, JJ.” He whimpered and his chest tightened. Nothing felt real.
Her voice shook as she spoke. “I miss him too, Reid."
The rain poured fiercely outside.