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He never thought about what it would be like. The thought had crossed his mind a few times, but he brushed it off every single time. Just thinking about his Fluttershy gone was too much for him. Hell, he could barely function with her just being away for a weekend.
The last time he spoke to her was less than a week ago. They were saying their goodbyes to eachother since she and her friends were leaving to Canterlot to celebrate Shining Armor's and Princess Cadence's wedding anniversary. He could’ve come, but he doesn’t feel very welcome around the princesses so he stayed home with Spike and Big Macintosh. Oh how he wished he would’ve just went with her.
Next thing he knew he was back at the train station a few days later, waiting for his fluttershy to arrive. But she didn’t. He was looking for her all over. First Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie left the train, followed by Rarity and Applejack. Twilight was the last to step out. As much as he hated it, Discord decided to talk to Twilight about where his Fluttershy was.
„Hello Twilight, where is Fluttershy? Did she not come back with you?“
The princess looks at him in horror.
„Oh Discord..“
———
He was furious. No one told him for three days. The funeral was already in planning while he didn’t even know what had happened yet.
He spent the next few days on a cloud over Ponyville. He didn’t feel like going home. He couldn’t go home. He attended the funeral, where Spike was the only one to talk to him. He didn’t give a speech at the funeral. Fluttershy's friends got that covered, and he hated it. He hated every part of this.
No one really knew why, but Ponyville lost its spark since Fluttershy's death. No one knew, but Discord. He stopped causing chaos. Fluttershy had allowed him to pull an occasional prank as long as it doesn’t hurt anypony. So he would make ponies cups fall over, or just cause the tiniest chaos leading to a fun memory between friends. No one knew it was his doing, but they sure noticed something was missing.
Discord spent day and night at the cemetery. He even brought Angel along sometimes, even though he wasn’t particularly fond of the little bunny.
He would meet an occasional visitor, but no one ever talked to him. Until one day, Twilight decided to change that.
„Hey Discord. Haven’t seen you in a while, how are you doing?“
„Oh hello Twilight, I'm fine thank you“
„This is probably not the right situation to ask you this and I'm sorry but, you did really mean it with Fluttershy, right? You loved her?“
„What does it look like? Are you still doubting me? I gotta say I'm quiet hurt by this, I’ve been trying so hard for you guys to like me“
Discord was upset. He really has been trying hard to change ponies opinions of him. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him until he met Fluttershy. She wanted him to get along with her friends so he genuinely tried. It hurts him to know he couldn’t even do this one thing for her.
„Well can you blame us? I mean, you’re-„
„Discord, I know. Spirit of chaos, incapable of love. I guess my reputation precedes me“
„I'm sorry. It’s just fluttershy always spoke so highly of you, we didn’t want her to get hurt“
„It’s fine, I'm used to it“
And without saying another word he quietly left the cemetery.
———
Twilight must’ve done something, because ponies were suddenly looking at him differently when seeing him around. What used to be judging faces and mad glances turned into pitiful expressions towards the draconequus. And he was so sick of it, so he started avoiding the town.
He disappeared. And the five pony friends actually noticed his absence for once.
He wasn’t coming to the cemetery anymore, which was noticed by the lack of yellow tulips on Fluttershy's headstone. Because Discord only brought yellow tulips, they were her favorite.
Meanwhile Discord visited Zecora. She didn’t seem to mind the draconequus company, although he wasn’t really sure if she even knew the history around him.
Discord had no intentions to visit her in the first place, originally he just wanted a quiet place to spend his time when he came across her house in the Everfree Forest. He liked her way of talking, so he decided to befriend her. Fluttershy would be proud if she could see him right now.
Zecora told him everything about potions. He wasn’t particularly interested, but it kept his mind off of things. Until he had an idea.
„Zecora, is there a potion that could kill immortal beings? Hypothetically, of course.“
„For why do you want to know such thing, dear Discord? Shall you have ill intentions, you’re question will be ignored“
„Oh I have no such intentions dear, I am just curious“
But Zecora remains suspicious. The first immortal beings that crossed her mind were the Princesses. Fearing for their well-being, she decided to tell Twilight about the unusual question the draconequus asked her.
Discord hadn’t noticed how his question must’ve sounded. He didn’t really know why he asked it either. All he knew was that he was immortal and wasn’t very thrilled about living at the moment. But he would never end his existence, right?
He was surprised when Spike, out of everyone, found him first thing the next day and told him the princesses were having a meeting and would like him to attend. He didn’t have anything else to do, so he met them in the Canterlot castle.
Princess Celestia was the first one to speak up.
„Hello Discord, thank you for coming. Twilight has informed me about something you asked Zecora.“
Immediately knowing what all this fuss was about, he felt like he had no other choice but to tell them what had really been going on in his head. He didn’t want to risk to be imprisoned in stone after all.
„Oh I am deeply sorry for causing such chaos. I promise you I am not trying to kill anyone. I asked because I just wanted to know if there was a way to end my own existence… in case I ever needed it.“
The room went quiet, the three princesses were giving him worried looks.
„Discord, is this about Fluttershy?“, Twilight dared to ask.
But Discord didn’t give her an answer. He took the silence as a sign that the meeting has ended, so he left with a snap, giving a quick wave to the Ponies before he disappeared.
Twilight once again realized how important fluttershy must have been to Discord when he was willing to give up his existence to be with her.
Twilight then called in a meeting with the rest of her friends. They talked and decided to integrate Discord in their friendship.
Discord was confused when Ponies started to invite him to hang out. First Applejack wanted to go applebucking with him. Then Pinkie Pie asked if he would help her baking for a party she was planning. This was all very new to him, but he had nothing better to do, so he helped them.
A few weeks have passed and Discord hung out with the five friends a bunch of times. They kept inviting him to all sorts of activities and for the first time in a while, he was truly happy.
The five friends realized that Discord was actually very nice when he isn’t pulling pranks all the time. They regret to have ever doubted his and Fluttershy’s relationship, they truly started to see what she saw in him.
Discord was grateful for the ponies time and has been doing better, but a big piece of his heart was still missing and could never be replaced. Nothing could ever replace his Fluttershy.
Then one day, he did end up finding a way to end his existence. So after a few weeks of fun, picnics and adventures with his newfound friends, he joins his dear Fluttershy.
And although their marriage had nothing to do with equestrian history, Celestia decided to put up a stained glass window for them.