Chapter Text
Jinx doesn’t remember leaving behind Vi. She doesn’t remember leaving the increasingly rabid Vander at the battlefield, spewing and crying lava as he tore apart any body he could get his claws on. More importantly, she doesn’t remember getting ahold of Isha’s small, frail, still body and running away with it.
What Jinx does remember is ending up back in their home on the broken propeller, tucking Isha into bed so softly under their tent as if she were just asleep, shimmer running down her cheeks.
Because of course Singed took away the ability for her to even cry norma-
Now Jinx lay on the floor in the middle of their home, more disturbed than ever before by how quiet it was. Isha may have never spoken a word in her time with Jinx, but she made her presence known with the fast little tap tap taps of her feet as she ran around their home creating new crafts and bombs. The scratch of her crayons against paper as Isha had drawn out their adventures and pranks of the day. How her giggles would fill the air and echo slightly, warming Jinx’s chest in a way she hadn’t felt in years, even with Silco.
At some point between putting Isha to bed and lying down, Jinx’s braids had come apart, her hair tangled and taking up all the empty space left now that Isha was-
No, no, can’t say gone Isha can’t be gone SHE CAN’T BE GO-
The sight of Jinx’s unraveled blue hair overwhelmed her senses, reminding her of the toxic waters she buried Silco in. Would Isha be laid to rest with Jinx’s third father, to float endlessly forever, disappear in the waves to never be seen again? Jinx had known when she broke out of Vi’s hold that she couldn’t leave Isha on the ground with war surrounding her, where her second father was laying waste to his surroundings. She could have been torn apart, stepped on, or worse. Jinx’s stomach churned at the thought and knew she couldn’t do that to- to her baby .
The more Jinx allowed her thoughts to spiral, the more the darkness that had followed her her entire life began to encroach even more, creeping and buzzing as it slowly overtook all the fairy lights Jinx and Isha had hung together one night after Isha couldn’t fall asleep.
Jinx finally passed out from exhaustion, surrounded by the overwhelming quiet darkness that now took over her life again. The last thought on her mind was that she had once again lived up to her name and showed how fitting it was. A slight breeze disturbed her hair as she fell into the abyss.
Jinx is lying on the ground of the commune, battle waging around her on all sides. Normally she would bask in the chaos and join with her favorite guns and a manic laugh, but all she could focus on was the dread that dragged her whole body down and the impending doom of knowing what was about to happen.
Faster, move faster, you need to move faster you need to stop her WHY AREN’T YOU MOVING FASTER
Jinx tried to use the shimmer that was pumping through her body, knowing she needed the boost of speed it would give her. But of course the one time she actually wanted to use it, this dreadful curse Singed had given her, it wouldn’t comply. Jinx wanted to scream in rage at her body for not listening to her, but she had to use all of her focus to get up and run .
But all she could do was turn her head and rewatch the events that had already happened, knowing she can’t change the past. Knowing that once again, Jinx was a victim of her own mind.
Isha ran by Jinx, seemingly using all the speed Jinx was no longer capable of. Jinx was helpless to watch as Isha grabbed her gun and continued to run, using her skills from when she was on the streets running from chembaron goonies to thread through people as they fought. As Jinx rewatched her latest horror, all she could think about was how Isha didn’t even reach most of the crowd’s hips in height.
Isha disappeared in the chaos for a brief, panicked moment. Jinx held her breath and when she finally saw Isha again, she felt her heart stop all over again and her mind pound with inevitability. Isha had her hand in her pocket, which was glowing blue, and Jinx watched history begin to repeat itself as she added one hexstone after the other into Jinx’s gun.
All of a sudden Powder was back at the abandoned factory, flying through the air with a giddy feeling in her chest as she watched the blue sparkles around her. It finally worked, I helped them, I helped-
Powder is kneeling on the ground next to the flaming factory, sobbing her eyes out as Vi grabs her face and tells her that everything she was afraid of was true.
I only wanted to help, I only wanted to help, I only wanted to-
Jinx is at Stillwater, breaking out half of Zaun so she could save Isha from repeating her sister’s fate. She still feels rattled from the feeling of so many people holding her shoulder in thanks, unfamiliar with the idea of a stranger feeling gratitude towards her. Jinx holds Isha tight as she finally finds her, shaken but ok when she finally notices the noises coming from the elevators she and Sevika were just on.
Jinx is at Stillwater, telling Sevika to take Isha and run as something she could mistake as one of her hallucinations raced towards her with unnatural speed. Jinx can hear Isha’s screams growing fainter the further she gets and can only feel relief that Isha will be safe, knowing that she hasn’t jinxed her quite yet when she hears-
Mama!
The red light of Stillwater disappears but the dust becomes smoke, and Jinx is back on the ground of Viktor’s commune, watching Isha look at her with watery, determined, loving eyes as she makes the same hand gun symbol Jinx shot at her all those months ago. Jinx can feel the scratch of her blood curdling scream in her throat as she races to stop Isha, only to be stopped by her sister locking her arms around her. All Jinx can do is reach out her arms and scream as she watches her baby raise her arm straight up into the air and pull the trigger, that cursed hexstone blue color that has followed her her entire life once again killing everything she has ever loved.
Jinx is at the shrine of Janna, her coffin and burial ground fighting Vi. The fight is a blur of shimmer pink, hexstone blue, chalk and dust as their fight takes up the entire cavern. Jinx blinks and when her eyes open she is lying with her back on the altar, Vi above her with her fist raised. Jinx blinks again and Isha is straddling Jinx and covering her, Isha’s tiny body shaking with terror as she holds up that damned gun to Vi, protecting Jinx like her life depends on it.
That damned Enforcer’s hexstone rifle goes off, and Jinx sees the blue glow of it out of the corner of her eyes as the bullet spirals towards them. She tries to push Isha off of her, even in her confused state trying to protect this innocent being that has for some reason or another latched onto Jinx of all people.
Jinx blinks and she is now kneeling on the ground in front of the altar she had just been lying on. The shrine around her is destroyed by her bombs, rocks and boulders everywhere she can see. She turns her head to the altar and feels her breath catch in her throat. There was Isha, her tiny, tiny body resting peacefully with her beloved helmet lying on her chest. Her hands were crossed in her lap and Jinx would think Isha was just sleeping if it weren’t for the way her chest was so, so still.
That’s when Jinx finally felt something inside her break in a way she knew couldn’t be repaired, because if there was one thing Jinx knew about Isha, it was that still was not a way to describe her girl. Jinx scrambled to rise to her feet and race over to Isha, feeling herself begin to wail again as she faced what she had been denying to herself. She lifted her hands to cradle Isha’s face and felt the tremble in her fingers. She looked at the last person that could have maybe brought Powder back. She didn’t know if she saw Isha as a younger sister or as a daughter, but what Jinx did know was that Isha had been hers, and that she was gone.
You poor childe.
Jinx didn’t even bother to lift her head from where it was dangling over her baby. She didn’t recognize this voice as one of her usual ghosts that liked to haunt her, but she wouldn’t be surprised if her ghosts had found a new way to antagonize her in her dreams. Her ghosts were clever after all, they had to be to haunt her of all people.
Won’t you look up at me, childe?
“And why should I? I’ve talked to enough dead people in my lifetime, and you aren’t the one I want to talk to right now.”
What would you do to have her back?
The question made Jinx pause. She felt that familiar, ugly bubbly feeling of rage begin to rise up in her gut. Her ghosts were cruel to her, this was true, but this might be a new low for them. They really knew how to provoke her. Jinx raised her head, ready to start a fight when she paused.
On the opposite side of Isha was a woman, although Jinx didn’t know if that was the best way to describe what was in front of her. Simply said, a giant floating woman faced her. Her face was familiar in a way Jinx couldn’t remember, and her eyes glowed a pale blue. Her long blonde hair floated in a wind that wasn’t there, a crown holding her hair out of her face. In her hand was a long staff with three stones of what looked like amber on top.
Jinx squinted her eyes and tilted her head to the side. This lady really looked familiar, and it was really pissing Jinx off that she couldn’t remember why.
“Listen lady, I don’t know if you’re shit at social situations or what, but now isn’t the best time. If I screwed with you or someone you loved, we can hash this out at a later date.”
The woman smiled at Jinx wryly, as if something Jinx said tickled her funny bone. She opened her mouth and what came out sounded like the recordings Jinx had done for her bombs on Progress Day.
Don’t you remember the old Janna bedtime stories Vander used to tell us? Miners trapped underground. Air running thin! But then, some wispy windwoman wafts to their rescue.
Jinx gave the lady an unimpressed look. She didn’t know what trick her mind was trying to play on her right now, but this didn’t even reach top twenty of the fuckery her mind came up with.
“Listen this is really cute and all, the giant floating lady and Isha on the altar. It’s a nice touch, really! But at the moment, nothing could be more terrifying than waking up and dealing with reality again. So nice try, but try again! Buh-bye!” Jinx waved her fingers as a final touch.
I understan-
“Nope”
Can you-
“Nuh uh”
Please list-
“Toodle loo, toots!”
LISTEN TO ME.
The shrine around Jinx shook with the raised voice, new dust settling around her. Jinx snapped her mouth shut and looked at the woman in front of her, really looked at her. She searched through her brain, chaotic as it was and tried to connect where she knew this lady from. Was it an old rival of Silco’s that Jinx was sent after, looking for revenge? Was she a Piltie ghost looking for revenge after she brought the Grey to them? One of those mage thingies Jinx had heard of looking to get a part of the action? As she sifted through her memories, something behind the strange lady caught Jinx’s eye.
It was the mural of Janna, the thing about the place that had originally caught Jinx’s eye when scouting out a place for the fateful reunion with her sister and what would ultimately be her funeral. She remembers first finding the place, and standing under the mural looking up at Janna. It had reminded her of the stories Vander used to tell her and her sister of the wind spirit that looked over Zaun, she who brought them air. She who brought the winds of change is what Vander has called her once.
Jinx looked at the woman, the shrine. The woman, the shrine. The woman, the shrine again. Jinx tilted her head back and laughed. All she could do was laugh. Laugh at the absurdity of this fucking dream. Dream? Hallucination? Jinx didn’t even know anymore.
Jinx finally stopped laughing and looked at this new ghost of hers. “No lady, you listen to me. Quite simply? I don’t care. Maybe some other day I would have fallen for the shit my brain has decided to cook up, but right now all I am trying to do is spend the last moments I can with someone I actually care about, which isn’t you. So if we could reschedule this, that would be great.”
The lady looked at her with analyzing eyes, seemingly looking through Jinx at something, though she couldn’t tell what. Jinx looked over her shoulder to see if someone was behind her, maybe Mylo or Claggor deciding to join this game, but for once no one was there. Jinx turned back around and raised her eyebrow at the strange lady.
I will ask once more, what would you do to have her back?
Maybe if Jinx answered, this weird ass ghost would finally leave her alone. Perhaps this is some kind of fucked up coping mechanism her brain has cooked up to make her realize how much Isha truly meant to her. She looked down at Isha again, tucked a strand of the girl’s hair behind her ear with gentle hands even though Jinx knew it would just pop back into place. And she thought over what she would say.
What would Jinx do to bring back Isha? Would she do what Silco did, drag her broken body down to Singed and have it pumped full of Shimmer until it was she could see, hear and taste? Strap her down to the table and scream as she felt her body burn from the inside out? No, she couldn’t do that, not to Isha.
Would she do what Vander did, turn herself into the Enforcers to keep her kid free, only to leave them behind with no one to look after them? Sure, Jinx was sure that was never Vander’s goal with what he was doing. But even if no one died that night and it went the way Vander had planned, there was no way Benzo would have been able to feed and shelter five kids, not when even Vander had days he struggled to get food on the table for everyone. They would have ended up on the streets, alone, being chased by Enforcers and Silco. She could never leave behind Isha, she’d rather trek them both across the continent to Freljord.
Could she do what Vi did, sit in Stillwater for years scavenging for pieces of information from the outside, hanging onto hope by a thread that maybe Powder was alive. Maybe, despite the odds, Powder had escaped Silco and was free. Maybe she was fighting the good fight. Finally escaping when the time came and going on an investigation to find her sister only to be disappointed by what she found? That option was wrong too, Jinx could never be disappointed by Isha. Maybe that train of thought wasn’t completely fair to Vi, but Jinx could never see herself sitting in a jail cell knowing that Isha was out there alone, with no one to defend her. And maybe that was unfair to Sevika too, but in her mind, no one could defend Isha like Jinx could.
Even if she had failed to do even that.
Jinx would raze Piltover down to the ground for Isha, hell she would burn Zaun down too for her without hesitation. But the second Jinx thought about it, she realized that wasn’t the right answer either, because all she could think of was how Isha would look up at her with those big eyes full of disappointment. Jinx has disappointed and let down a lot of the people in her life, but the thought of Isha joining that long list made her sick to her stomach.
Finally Jinx looked back up at her strange ghost and thought, fuck it .
“I would become what she always thought I could be. I would free Zaun, for her.”
The strange lady looked down at her, and smiled.
And you will.