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Far too long had Jake English dominated in the field of oral sex.
Sure, Dirk was usually the one to take charge when it came to the physical activities, but he'd been caught with his pants down (quite literally) more times than he was comfortable admitting by his boyfriend. Jake was a surly bastard when it came to that. Always cornering Dirk when they were alone, making him writhe and buck underneath his hands. It was completely unfair.
And he was good at it, too. Really good.
So of course, like everything Jake was good at, Dirk had to be better. It was a challenge. Maybe an unspoken one that wasn't entirely recognized or taken seriously by Jake, but a challenge nonetheless.
Dirk had spent weeks training his gag reflex. All from practicing on Popsicles to pinching his thumb – he'd do it all. Probably not the best way to go about it, if we're being completely honest here, but by God he was trying his hardest. But of course when Dirk discovered how asinine and pointless pinching ones thumb was to prevent an instinctual dry heave, he decided to go with the scientific way to get around this problem of his.
Which is why he was currently standing at an Xpressions counter with a packet of watermelon flavored lubricant in his hand.
Roxy and Jane were busy shopping in town at this little pit stop on their road trip, so naturally Dirk had plans. Plans that involved his mouth on Jake's dick. Where? He didn't know. Maybe he'd sneak off to a motel with him, or take him to a restroom to avoid the expenditure. Dirk hadn't chosen just yet. He had spent most of his morning picking between strawberry or lemon.
“This all?” The woman at the register smiled, tucking his packet into a tiny, dark, plastic bag. Discretion purposes, he supposed.
“Do you sell hair clips?” The woman giggled at his question, and Dirk self consciously adjusted his sunglasses. He didn't think he'd said anything funny. But the lady simply pointed to the shelves lined up at the front of the counter, where an assortment of accessories and knickknacks were laid out. Candy, condoms, breath mints, etc… Hairbands and scrunchies were tucked together in a box, conveniently placed beside the little Kamasutra booklets. “Right.” Dirk silently grabbed a couple hairbands and put them on the counter for the cashier to ring up.
Dirk noted, briefly, that nobody should look so happy helping other people spice up their sex life, but whatever. He wasn't here to judge.
Admittedly, his nerves were a tad jittery, so he didn't have the attention span to think about other people's lives anyway.
All things paid for, he took his new belongings and exited the store, going over the plan in his head as he walked through the streets of town. First, he'd have to bring it up to Jake, calculate how long Jane and Roxy would be gone compared to how long Jake would last – or rather, how long Dirk would take. The last time he tried to give Jake oral, his lips went numb from taking too long. Jake hadn't minded, simply pat Dirk on the head and they did something else instead.
But he'd felt bad. Inadequate. What kind of boyfriend was he if he couldn't give head like a fuckin' normal pair of sexually active adults? It was a flaw, and Dirk would correct it.
The car was parked in the back of the lot behind a Burlington Coat Factory. Jane had always preferred parking in a spot she could easily find, which made this trek even more nerve binding for Dirk. He wished he couldn't see the damn thing, sitting there covered by the shade of a tree, totally isolated in all it's red Honda glory. Ugh. It was like walking down a deserted hallway and seeing a dead body during a zombie apocalypse. Doom.
The blond stopped at the door, fingers wrapped around the handle.
Jake hadn't noticed him yet, nose buried in one of his comic books while he sat there in the backseat, a single leg tucked to his chest. He was comfortable, biting his bottom lip in the way that he did when he was concentrating on something important. It was cute.
Dirk's stomach did a professional back flip. This was it. This was going to be the moment.
With a new found confidence, he swung that door open, pretending that he totally didn't stagger when it bounced off the hinge and came back to hit him in the back of the knees. “Jake.” He called, hands on the framing for coolness factor and definitely not because he lost his balance.
Said man jolted in his spot, comic book nearly falling out of his hands in his spook. “Jesus Crimmeny, Dirk! You scared the willies out of me.” He looked towards the blond, green eyes blinking. His gaze flashed to the bag in Dirk's hand before back up to his face.
Yes. Here. Right here. This is where Dirk was going to woo the socks off of his boyfriend. “Prepare to have the best blow job in your entire fucking life, English.” Dirk climbed into the car, immediately putting a hand onto Jake's chest and shoving him back. Jake sputtered questions but Dirk ignored them, leaning back to close the door, sound proofing them.
“My mouth is an expertly crafted dungeon full of untapped potential and your dick is about to be Indiana Jones.” He announced, pulling his shit out from his Xpressions bag. He quickly began unwrapping one of the hairbands while Jake audibly gulped, propping himself onto his elbows as he peered out the car windows.
“Not that this isn't appreciated, but what if somebody sees us!” There was a nervous look on his face. Jake was shifting around underneath him, one leg hanging off the seats. Dirk scooted back, comfortably situated between the others legs.
“Who cares?” He raised an eyebrow, removing his shades. “Now, eyes on me.” Dirk made a gesture with one of his hands, signaling for Jake to look towards him. The brunet's face dusted a dark red to match his tanned skin. It was, again, cute. Jake was really cute. And hot. Dirk was going to enjoy making him come undone.
He forfeited his shades over to Jake, who'd been holding his hands up in a mock surrender, before sliding the hairband onto his head, trapping his bangs under it and getting the hair out of his face. Then he leaned down, sliding his fingers underneath the hem of his boyfriends shirt to lightly tickle his waist. He could hear the other man suck in a breath of air, muscles relaxing under Dirk's feathery touches.
It was easy getting Jake to relax.
Dirk planted butterfly kisses along his hips, brushing his lips on the visible skin above the waistline of Jake's shorts as he slipped one of his hands lower. He pressed a palm against the brunet's groin, gently beginning to rub his already half hard arousal. Yeah, this really was too easy. Thank goodness. Dirk was on a time limit here.
He could hear Jake's breathing halt when Dirk began unbuttoning his pants, pushing them down his thighs while he kissed lower, hand returning to grab Jake through his boxers and administer short, slow strokes to his growing length. His cheeks felt warm, and Dirk stole a peek at his boyfriend. Jake was watching him, bottom lip pulled between his teeth, the tips of his ears bright red. Good. Dirk wanted that. He wanted all that attention on himself and what he was currently doing.
It made him feel all tingly inside. Dirk took it as a sign that he'd been doing okay so far, pulling down Jake's underwear next to wrap his fingers around the others bare length. It was hot and pulsing against his skin – burning in his palm. Dirk's heart rate accelerated at the feeling. He was always a sensitive kind of guy. Just touching Jake's dick like this made his own pants feel tight.
Pushing those thoughts aside, his hand began to move in strokes along the shaft, his grip tightening every so often with each lift. Jake's hips were already raising to meet his hand as he squirmed around, laying flat against the car seats with the back of his hand pressed over his mouth. The one with Dirk's shades, clenched tightly in his grip. Dang, that was a sight. “Dirk...” He whimpered, trying to keep his voice down.
Dirk wanted him to be louder. “Is it good?” He asked, mostly for reassurance. And maybe because he wanted to hear Jake say it. For some reason, he really wanted to know if he'd been doing a good job. He didn't practice all this time to get diddly squat.
“Y-Yeah, it's good so far.” Jake nodded, breathing heavier each time Dirk's thumb rubbed against the base of his head.
Good was grand all all, but he wanted it to be better. Now that Jake was sufficiently hard, it was time.
He bowed his head, opening his mouth as he slowed his strokes. Jake let out a soft, tiny moan when Dirk's lips brushed against the tip of his dick, kissing along the base and sides. He made sure to wet his tongue nicely before dragging it up the underside of the shaft. It tasted weird. Made Dirk shudder and draw a shaky breath.
He concentrated hard on what was in front of him, hands propped on the brunet's groin for assistance. And then Dirk took the head into his mouth, tongue swirling around the tip in a way that had Jake gasping, hips writhing under his weight. Encouraged to continue, he took Jake deeper, pushing the hard muscle against Jake's cock. The ambiance was great, filled with the brunet's moans and sighs.
“Th-That's nice...” Jake murmured, dropping Dirk's sunglasses onto the floor with a clank. He didn't mind, Dirk would let it go just this once.
He bobbed his head a few more times, taking his boyfriend in as far as he could before it started to mess with his throat, and then pulled away with a wet sound. He didn't waste any time, reaching into his bag to pull out one of the packets.
“What's that?” Jake asked, bracing a hand against the car door.
“It's gonna make your junk taste like fruit.” Dirk replied rather tactlessly, peeling open the lubricant. Jake gave a hum in thought before shrugging, apparently not really understanding. That was fine by Dirk. He didn't feel like explaining how he was tricking his gag reflex into thinking Jake's dong was food anyway.
It was chilly in his palm. Slippery. He gripped the others dick lightly, lathering it in the sweet smelling substance. “O-Oh.Oh goodness.” Jake gasped, and Dirk resisted the urge to chuckle.
He descended down again, taking Jake's member in, and instinctively swallowed when the flavor hit his tongue. Shit, that was really strong. And wet. Jake's dick slid easily into his mouth and over his tongue, which darted out between bobs to lap at the head, twirling around it in just the right ways to make Jake arch his back and moan quite loudly.
Deeper and deeper it went and Dirk's breathing grew short, his stomach fluttering with all of Jake's encouraging noises. Before he knew it his lips were touching Jake's pelvis, successfully wedging the length into his throat. Holy shit, that felt weird. Like he was choking, but not really? He pulled back and did it again, lubricant dripping from his mouth mixed with saliva, probably, and onto Jake's skin.
And then there were hands on his face, Jake's palms smoothing patterns into his cheeks and wading into his hair, fingers dipping underneath the hairband sloppily. “Holy fuck, D-Dirk.” Jake panted, and Dirk chanced a glance above him to meet Jake's hazy, half lidded eyes. “Th-This is...” Jake started, breathing hard. Dirk blinked as he waited, lifting his head only slightly. A string of saliva followed his lips from Jake's pelvis.
He could feel the others dick twitch inside of him, and Jake's eyes glistened. “This is a real good look for you.”
Jesus Christ.
Dirk took a shaky breath, averting his eyes quickly. His heart skipped a beat and his ears were practically burning. What. The. Fuck. “Oh.” Jake sounded like he'd been intrigued, thumb caressing Dirk's cheek. “D-Did you like that?” Did he like what? Dirk didn't respond, continuing his previous ministrations and shutting Jake up by making him melt into a puddle of groans.
It didn't work for long, because he just started talking again through breaths. “A-Aah…! Oh, fuck. Dirk-” W-Was he doing this on purpose, now? Jake normally didn't allow himself to get out of hand like that with the sound effects. “D-Dirk, you're amazing.” Oh, good Lord.
Dirk's knees rubbed together, the blood rushing from his head right into this fucking crotch as he sped up, beginning to suck with each tug of his mouth. He refused to look at Jake, and those hands on his head didn't really help. Sort of made it harder to move.
Jake's fingers mussed up his hair, grabbing it and pushing it this way and that, his hairband slipping uselessly down over his forehead as a result. Dirk closed his eyes, brow knitted tightly. “It feels wonderful. You're wonderful.” Jake continued on, moaning his name again. He didn't know why, but it was doing all kinds of things to his body. He liked it. He really liked it when Jake complimented him.
A small sound escaped from the back of Dirk's throat, rumbling against Jake's member. He gasped again, panting wantonly as his hips began to lift in motion with Dirk's movements. The blond sputtered for a moment, hands moving to the others thighs for some extra leverage, but he quickly adjusted.
“Y-You're gorgeous. Fantastic. Oh God, Dirk, you feel so good..” Holy shit. Holy shit, Jake was practically bucking, thrusting into Dirk's mouth, and it shouldn't have been hot or nice but it was doing Hell on his insides and Dirk needed some relief. Like, seriously. He was getting super into Jake fucking his face right now.
He couldn't help but moan, letting Jake take hold of his cheeks and hair freely with no complaint. The watermelon flavor had long since faded, Dirk swallowing most of it whenever Jake pressed his length deep into his throat. It was nothing but raw skin and saliva now, and the occasional sourness from precum made the corners of Dirk's eyes prickle with tears.
Jake's thumbs pressed to those spots, wiping away the wetness clinging to his lashes. Soon enough the pace became more sporadic, and Dirk hadn't realized he'd been panting, tongue hanging slack and jutting out under Jake's shaft. His jaw was starting to ache, but he didn't want to stop. Not yet.
He crawled over the others thighs, angling himself better in preparation for what was to come. Literally.
The question flashed for only a moment in his mind, where it would go – he didn't have the time to contemplate it.
He gripped Jake's hips tightly in his hands, warbling some kind of sensual mess. It was getting a little harder to breathe, but his own noises only encouraged Jake, so he didn't mind. He liked having those calloused hands stroke his hair back before grabbing fistfuls of it, tugging Dirk downwards into every thrust. Fuck, yeah, that was hot. Jake's dick hit the back of his throat and Dirk swallowed hard, sobbing out a moan.
And that was it. Jake's hips twitched, a very English-esque “Holy Toledo” squeaking out of his voice. He grabbed onto Dirk for dear life and –
Jake's cum was hot, burning hot and bitter, holy shit was it bitter. It spilled out from his lips and Dirk tried not to gurgle, swallowing it down around the others member sloppily with a shudder. Jake whimpered his name several times along with his commentary, “Holy smokes.”
Finally, Dirk pulled away slowly, mouth hanging open as he breathed heavily, wiping it with the back of his hand – sticky with spit and lube and semen. It was kind of gross. His hairband dangled over his eyes, hair entirely disheveled. Dirk didn't think he'd be the one who needed a fucking shower after this. And his face felt nasty, too. He required a Goddamn towel.
“Th-That was-” Jake panted, catching his breath as he drew his hands back, wiping beads of sweat off of his brow. “That was splendorific.”
Snort. Dirk coughed lightly, rubbing his jaw. “The best?”
“Holy shit,” The brunet sat up, hands on Dirk's shoulders. “Absolutely the best damn thing I've ever had in my life, just as you promised me, good friend.” There was a sparkle in his eye as he said it. And then Jake leaned in, pecking Dirk on the lips.
“Bro.” Dirk scrunched his nose, scooting back. Jake persisted, flicking his hairband up. “Bro, no. I just had your spunk in my face hole.”
“I am aware.” More kisses.
“I really need to go clean up. I look like I just got out of a slap fight with a fish.” Dirk frowned, raising a hand to intercept Jake's next smooch.
“Hold your darn horses, Strider!” Jake scooted in again, tugging his trousers back up to his waist. “I have to reward you for a job well done, bro.” Oooh no. Dirk wasn't sure how long he'd last. Was there even time? Jake pressed him against the car door, fingers already working on the zipper of his jeans. He was still considerably hard, and being squished together like this really wasn't doing much to help calm him down.
Jake had managed to slide his legs under Dirk's thighs, and he didn't realize how sensitive he'd been until Jake's fingers brushed over his boxers, arousal standing straight once those pants were tugged down. “D-Dude.” He stammered, ugh, one arm bracing itself against the window for support, free hand grabbing Jake's shoulder. This was weird. Really weird. He felt oddly vulnerable, and Dirk blamed it on the hormones.
“Ah, right. Let me compliment you. You like that, right?” Jake chimed, smiling down at him.
Hrk.
“I- What? No. Don't be stupid. That's a ridiculous thing to insinuate.” He narrowed his eyes, stomach flipping. Jake wrapped his hand around his erection, giving it a squeeze. Dirk's breathing caught in his throat and his fingers flexed.
“You were enjoying it before,” Jake stated happily. “When I said you were amazing.”
Why oh why had his body forsaken him. His dick fuckin' twitched and that was all the incentive Jake needed to lean forward and press his lips to Dirk's ear, unoccupied hand sliding under his shirt and over his sides. Dirk shivered, back arching slightly in his awkward position.
“You must've practiced awfully hard. I was impressed.” It wasn't fair. He wasn't allowed to sound all low and sultry like that, Jake was a nerd with a goofy accent and – and – and gosh his breath felt nice over Dirk's ear, warm and light. Just like the way he stroked Dirk's length, barely putting pressure. Teasing him. What a fucker. “You were so good! And quite voluptuous.” A moan spilled from Dirk's lips. His eyes squeezed shut, toes beginning to curl as his breathing became rapid, heart hammering in his chest. Jake's grip tightened in response, thankfully, picking up on his warning signals. “Dirk.”
“J-Jake.” His own voice sounded strange. Dirk felt small. Very, very small. But Jake's words made him feel like he was on top of the world.
“You're marvelous.” His pace quickened and Dirk tried to lift his hips, moaning loudly. Repeatedly. Dirk could feel his face flush in embarrassment, but he couldn't stop. The volume control meter was officially busted. He gripped his boyfriend's shirt hard in his fist, pulling him in close enough for their chests to touch. “You were so good, Dirk. I just want to make sure you understand it! You know that, right?”
“Y-Yes-Mmn...!” Holy fucking shit yes. Hell yes. If he had a tail he'd fucking wag it. Hahahaha, oh, dear God. Yeah, he was the fuckin' best. You could bet your sweet, sweet ass on it.
“Splendid!” Jake kissed his ear once more before his head ducked down, peppering the side of Dirk's neck. He couldn't take much more of this. A pressure was bubbling up in his abdomen and ready to fuckin' burst. “Mind refreshing a fellow's memory, then? I think I've forgotten. Who was a good boy?”
Fuckfuckfuck. “M-Me. Me!” He bucked his hips again, eyebrows furrowing. “I-I'm a good boy. I'm a- good boy.” Holy mother of Christ he could not even believe the fucking words coming out of his mouth right now, let alone the sounds. Jake would never let him live this down. Never.
“Oh, that's right. It was you! Thanks, chap!” His flicked his wrist, hand twisting down over Dirk's cock in its strokes. “You're a good boy. A very good boy.”
Dirk practically sobbed when he came, slivers of white shooting out onto his stomach and spilling over Jake's fingers.
He was a mess. He didn't want to move or speak or be awake anymore, Dirk was ready to roll right over and pass the fuck out. But Jake's laughter pulled him out of his trance, followed by the shuffling of his clothes when his boyfriend started pulling his jeans back up for him and yanking his shirt off. Too. Much. Energy.
Who the fuck has this much energy after sex?
“C'mon, Strider. Better get yourself changed before the girls get back.”
“No.”
“Don't be a lump on a log!” More shuffling, then the opening of a door. He was sure Jake was saying something else next but he didn't hear a thing, teetering on the fence between consciousness and sleep.
Dirk allowed his boyfriend to jostle him around and brush his hair, even sat still when he took a cold paper towel and scrubbed at his face. He sort of liked the treatment, actually. He totally fucking deserved it after what Jake did to his poor, unsuspecting body.
They swapped out clothes and cleaned up the backseat (or rather, Jake did, for the both of them), and when all was said and done Dirk claimed Jake's lap as his pillow, ready to take a nap.
“So, Dirk.” Jake started, comic book back in his freshly washed hands. Dirk grunted in response, eyes closed. “Regarding your um… well, your titillation towards compliments-”
“Oh, my God. Don't bring it up.”
“I was just curious, would you like for me to praise you all the time or only some of the time? Because-”
“Jake, stop.”
“-That's A LOT of praise and I think sometimes it'll be rather difficult for me to form my words-”
“Jake.”
This was the worst.
Once again, Jake English had bested him in the field of oral activities. Dirk was going to throw himself off a fucking cliff.