Chapter Text
“You’re pregnant”
Those were the first words out of my wife’s mouth with divorce papers in hand that I served her, you see 3 months ago I caught Carina with another woman at a bar and outside our apartment kissing so god knows what else they’ve been doing behind closed doors.
3 Months ago
It was a nice clear sunny day in Seattle and I’ve decided to buy my wife lunch and coffee down the street from Grey Sloan knowing Carina would live off coffee all day if she could with no food.
As I was walking down the street I’ve been thinking a lot about our future and how things have been going wrong for Carina to distance herself from me.
We’ve been doing IVF for months now and because Carina’s eggs weren’t viable and she couldn’t carry we’ve decided I will carry our babies but we’ve had many problems
The first time I miscarried, and ever since then we’ve been quiet but we decided to try again months later but we haven’t been able to get pregnant even appointment after appointment so we’ve took a pause on the baby making because I was tired from our last pregnancy test and she wasn’t communicating her feelings with me
She was sad when I asked but understood and I don’t see her home often and that was 5 weeks ago
But as I approached the cafe I saw my wife with another woman…. Ava Jones… They were sitting close
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen that nurse around, many times Carina has told me “She’s just a friend”
But little does my wife know I know they’re screwing each other and I know it’s been going on for quite a while I just wanted to see how far gone Carina is but seeing them now made me turn around and just head home
That night I saw Carina kiss her “FrIeNd” outside and it broke my heart into many pieces
I asked Carina “So how was your day?” As she walked through the door
“Good, and yours? How’s work?” She asked
“Oh you know, paperwork” it was quiet for a bit “did you go anywhere for lunch?”
“No I was too busy…” she replied staring at me
“Okay I’ll make you lunch tomorrow”
“You don’t have to Maya I’ll eat from the cafeteria”
I asked her “Can we talk?? About us? I want to know wha-“ she cut me short
“Maya can we please do this another day I’m tired!” She sighed
Now I was pissed “When Carina?! When can we talk?! You always say no or next time or not tonight maybe tomorrow and you’re gone by the time I even get up or you’re running late!” I argued
“I’m just asking not now! Did I say never? I’m just tired!” She raised her voice and so I flinched, I wanted to cry but why? Why am I emotional?
“You know what! Fine!” I took my pillow and took off into the guest bedroom closing the door on Carina
“Maya I’m sorry! Please open the door” she pleaded
“Oh now you want to talk! Go away” now I was crying… why?
She sighed and walked away and I heard the front door close, I knew where she was going, to that other woman
As I was crying I was feeling so much discomfort in my body and as I ran to the bathroom to throw up I knew then what my problem was and to confirm it I cupped my boobs and they hurt
I knew then and there that I was pregnant… I was pregnant and my wife is out screwing another woman
“Oh shit!”
That night I spent all night crying in bed, Carina came back late and pushed the door open a little but, I decided to pretend I’m sleeping and I felt her touch my cheek
“Maya?”
She’s been drinking but I can smell that other woman on her and so I made a decision…. I’m moving the second she leaves for work in 2 days, I can’t handle her running to her every time we argue! It hurts
The next morning I woke up early vomiting! My wife was probably passed out so I knew she couldn’t hear me but as I was walking out the room after brushing my teeth I could hear movement in the kitchen and as I turned the corner I see her… Carina… my wife, the mother of our baby
“Buongiorno Bambina…” she stared “I’m sorry if I was being a little too noisy I’m just… I’m looking for something for my head” she continued to stare
“Top cupboard…” is all I said and so she asked “Are you okay?” And was staring at me
“Yeah I’m good, I’m just tired” I knew she wasn’t staring because my eyes were red and I was pale, she was staring at me and my body so I walked away
As I was showering in the guest room she knocked “Bambina are you hungry? I made French toast”
“I’ll be out in a minute” I replied
“Okay… I’ll make you a coffee”
“Okay” now I thought to myself ‘How the hell am I going to drink that in front of her’
Today I was not feeling great
“Bambina are you okay?” Carina insisted that we go for a walk in the park but my morning sickness turned into all day sickness like how!!? Call it all day sickness!
“Yeah I just ate something funny yesterday I’m okay” I yelled from within the public restroom
“Do you want to go home?”
“Home?” Home hasn’t felt like home in a very long time
“Yes? Home”
“No it’s okay I’m okay…” she passed me a mint gum “Thank you” I said to her as I washed my hands and popped one into my mouth
“You’re welcome” she stared… what’s with the staring? I keep asking myself
“I’m hungry… let’s go eat somewhere”
“You just threw up and you’re hungry?”
“Yes? Maybe that’s why I’m hungry?” I said and she laughed oh that sweet sweet laugh that I am going to miss so so much! I want to tell her about our baby but I don’t want to keep her under me if she doesn’t want to be under me and quite literally under me!! Or on top! I love her on top!
“Come on then I’ll feed you” she smiles at me
As we walk the streets of Seattle my head runs 100 miles per hour! What am I doing?
“Carina… I need to tell you something”
She grabs a hold of my hand and squeezes it “let’s eat first Maya and we’ll go home and talk about everything yeah?” She pecks me on the lips “I love you” and she stares, those big brown beautiful eyes stare at my blues
Sigh “I love you too” and I squeeze her hand
As we enter the cafe she holds the door open for me like the sweet woman she is and pulls my chair out for me as I take a seat “oh why thank you Carina, you’re so kind”
“Prego” she smiles and sits across from me
“What would you like Maya?”
Knowing my stomach won’t take anything I get something light but weird “I just want a smoothie, a banana one and a tomato sandwich”
“Tomato? I thought you don’t like tomatoes?” she asks
“Well I just feel like it” I smile at her “and anyways you don’t settle on the tomatoes when you make lasagna” I laugh with my arms crossed and she laughs with me
“Just say the words and I’ll do anything for you”
‘End whatever it is you have with her and choose me! Choose us’ I think to myself
After our lunch we go straight home and settle down on the couch with her arms around me to watch movies and I’m ready to tell my wife
“Carina I need to tell you something”
“What is it Maya” she lightly touches my cheeks as she stares at the screen
“I- uh… I’m- no wait”
“Breathe… what’s the matter?” She turns her head to me
‘Come on Maya! Im pregnant with your damn baby and you’re cheating on me! Just tell her’
“I know-“ I was cut off by her phone ringing with the name “Ava”… it’s her I tell myself but she sighs and ignores it
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“Why won’t you answer it? Might be important”
“Do you want me to answer it?”
“Do you want to answer it?”
“Maya-“
“Who is it?”
“No one!” She argued back
I stand and storm off to the guest room because I don’t want to fight! We had a good day “Maya wait”
But I don’t wait, I’m pissed! I can’t take it anymore so I close the door on her knowing she won’t come in unless I say she can
“Bambina please!” I heard her put her head on the door so I sit on the bed
“I just want to be alone…. Please Carina please do that for me” I started balling my eyes out quietly
“Okay” I heard her phone ring and her whispering and it hurt so I slept
I woke up later at night to vomit but 10 minutes later I heard the front door open and Carina stumbles in “ouch” ‘where has she been?’ but she doesn’t open the door
Next morning I spent most of my time near the toilet head hanging over ‘I DONT LIKE THIS!’ After showering and brushing my teeth I know Carina is gone, I heard her leave but she doesn’t have work today, it’s her day off? I check my phone and I have a text from her
My love🩷: Buongiorno Bambina I got called in for an emergency surgery xx I’ll be home with lunch
I sighed not believing my wife at all, she’s always busy and has something going on, I use to believe her but now I don’t know
“Where are you really?” I sigh with a tear streaming down my face “do I want to know?” I say with a sad smile in our empty house so I decided to pack light to be ready to move tomorrow once Carina is back at work and get ready for my appointment
Around lunch time Carina wasn’t home yet which for me was good so I could go to my appointment without questions and to confirm, I am pregnant and I am 5 weeks pregnant, which means our first test wasn’t meant to be negative, I don’t know what to do, Jo was there and I asked her not to tell Carina yet and told me not to worry
She congratulated us and told me she will be gone for 4 months starting tomorrow as she is going on a holiday and travelling to many hospitals and conferences, I was happy for her! She praises Carina so much
By evening Carina came home empty handed and smelling weird, I don’t like that smell one bit! It made me want to throw up right here right now but I held on
“I thought you were bringing lunch? And it’s well past lunch time” I tried
She sighs “Oh Maya I totally forgot!” She says desperate
“You’ve been forgetful a lot” I say as I approach her and put my arms around her shoulder, she has her hands around my waist
“I’m sorry, I’ll order us something” she says “No it’s okay Carina I ate” that’s a lie, I can’t keep anything down
“Oh….” She says “It’s in the fridge” I smiled at her “I’m going to bed” I kissed her lips and she held me to keep me close and our foreheads together “Please sleep with me in our bed” she pleaded “Okay” I warmed up the Chinese food I ordered and watched her eat
‘I’m going to miss you so much’ I thought to myself so I stared at my wife, every curve of her perfect face and her smile
As I lay in bed that night in Carinas arms I breathe her in “How was your surgery?” I asked in the night “Uh good, 6 healthy baby’s and very active and excited mamas” as she said that I could hear her heart beating a little fast “Okay that’s good” I kiss her jaw and she squeezes me tight
The moment I woke I felt the bed for Carina, her side of the bed is cold, she’s been gone for some time, I don’t know why but it still bothered me, she doesn’t start until 9? It’s 7! She’s never up as early, only an hour and a half before especially in the morning! Time for half hour shower, breakfast and coffee then she’s out of the house running late
So I call Andy
“Hey Andy”
“Morning Maya… hey are you sure about this?”
“Yes….” And I write a letter