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“Alright, crisis meeting,” Izumi announced, settling into the sofa with a dramatic sigh. Kunichika, who’d brought the coffee, raised an eyebrow. “We need to discuss the real issue here.”
“The mission briefs?” she asked dryly.
“No,” Izumi shook his head. “The gaping hole left in our hot-guy quota now that Kyosuke’s gone.”
Kunichika rested her hand on her chin, contemplating for a moment before speaking. “Well, yes. Someone like Karasuma Kyosuke…” She trailed off.
Tachikawa, with his usual easy grin and a hand on his beard, puffed out his chest. “I got this! Look at this face! I can totally pull it off. I mean, I have been told I’m charming. By many people. Like… you know, Jin. And… Jin? And also… Jin??”
Kunichika snorted. “Yes, because Jin tolerates you for… whatever his reasons are.”
Izumi leaned in, fingers steepled as if contemplating the mysteries of the universe. “Jin did say you’re ‘better to have as an ally than an enemy.’ And I think he was referring to your sword skills, not your looks.”
“Well,” Tachikawa shrugged, unabashed, “skill is attractive, right? And I am a master swordsman. That counts.”
The trio fell silent for a moment, mulling this over. Kunichika finally spoke up. “But… Karasuma-kun was a heartthrob. He had actual fans. Like, the kind that screamed when they saw him. And gifts. I’m talking chocolates, letters, the works.”
“Yep,” Izumi added with a knowing smirk. “The kind of fans who wouldn’t faint just because they saw a sword trick. The ones who swooned because they thought he was some kind of prince.”
“Listen,” Tachikawa insisted, now standing up. “I’ve got fans too! Just… different fans.”
Izumi looked skeptical. “You mean the ones who come to solo rank war lounge because they want to learn your techniques?”
“Exactly!” Tachikawa grinned. “They’re dedicated! They look up to me!”
Kunichika and Izumi exchanged a glance and then turned away from Tachikawa, completely ignoring him.
“Okay, let’s be serious, Yuu-san,” Izumi said, directing his focus entirely on Kunichika. “Replacing Kyosuke is going to be tough. We’re talking about someone who was not only capable but also had a fanbase of swooning admirers. It’s a serious loss.”
Kunichika nodded solemnly, picking up the conversation as if Tachikawa wasn’t even there. “You’re right. Finding someone as hot and skilled as Karasuma-kun is going to be nearly impossible.”
Tachikawa’s grin faltered. “Come on, guys, you have me. You’ve got a very handsome guy right here.”
Izumi tapped his chin thoughtfully, still ignoring him. “We need someone who can carry the ‘handsome guy’ role in the squad. Someone who can draw in the same kind of crowd.”
Kunichika sighed. “It’s a critical part of the team dynamic. We can’t just overlook it.”
Tachikawa waved his hands in front of them. “Guys? Uh, can you stop ignoring me? Helloooo?”
”…”
When they didn’t respond, he slumped dramatically. “Okay, I guess I’ll just go cry in the corner or something.”
Finally, Kunichika cracked a smile and turned back to him. “Tachikawa-san, half of HQ already thinks you look like a kid pretending to be an adult.”
“Hey! I’m an experienced A-rank captain!” Tachikawa protested.
“With the charisma of a 10-year-old,” Izumi deadpanned.
Tachikawa huffed, clearly exasperated. “You guys are impossible! I actually have swooning admirers. Somewhere. There must be.”
“Sure, sure,” Izumi waved him off. “In the meantime, maybe try buttoning up your jacket.”
Kunichika smirked. “And fixing your bedhead.”
“Yeah,” Izumi added, chuckling. “Maybe we just need to market you better. We can start a fan club. ‘Tachikawa’s Awesome Club of Honorable Individuals’—the T.A.C.H.I. It’ll be all men. We’ll make it a requirement.”
Tachikawa immediately recoiled, making a face. “An all-guys fan club? Where’s the appeal in that?! There’s no romance in a fan club full of dudes!”
Kunichika snorted. “Romance or not, you’d at least have dedicated fans.”
Izumi grinned. “Yeah, they might not bring you chocolates, but they’d definitely show up with their swords, ready to challenge their idol.”
Tachikawa sighed in defeat. “I guess that’s something… but I was kind of hoping for a few more swooning admirers. The screaming kind. With chocolates.”
Kunichika patted him on the shoulder with a playful smirk. “Keep dreaming, Tachikawa-san.”
Tachikawa slumped in defeat, his shoulders drooping like a deflated puppy. Izumi and Kunichika exchanged a brief glance, silently agreeing to lift his spirits.
Izumi patted him on the back. “Don’t worry, Tachikawa-san. You may not be Kyosuke, but you’ve still got your own charm.”
Kunichika smirked. “Yeah, you’re like… a rare breed. Can’t find another like you.”
Izumi smirked, leaning back with a teasing look. “Well, at least we know one person who’d join your fan club without hesitation.”
Tachikawa perked up, eyes lighting up with sudden hope. “Really? Who?”
Kunichika exchanged a knowing glance with Izumi before answering, her voice laced with amusement.
“Jin-san.”
Tachikawa’s face brightened, grinning ear to ear. “See? I knew I had at least one loyal supporter!”
Izumi couldn’t resist, putting on a mock-serious expression. “In fact, Jin-san might even be the president of your fan club. The honorary critic, leading the way.”
Tachikawa blinked, genuinely surprised. “Wait, really? Jin would be the president?”
Kunichika nodded sagely, “Absolutely. He’d probably analyze your every move. Not because he’s impressed, but because he finds your antics endlessly amusing.”
“Wait, is he a fan or just… entertained?”
Izumi burst out laughing. “Does it matter? At least he’s paying attention! And in his own way, he gets your charm better than anyone else.”
Kunichika patted Tachikawa on the back, a little too sympathetically. “Lucky you, Tachikawa-san. You’ve got a fan club of one—Jin-san, the honorary president, and chief critic.”
Tachikawa grinned, finally embracing the joke. “You know what? I’ll take it. Jin’s a quality member. He counts for at least a hundred regular fans!”
And somewhere far off in Tamakoma, Jin sneezed, rubbing his nose with a wry smile. “Must be Tachikawa-san,” he muttered, amused by a joke only he understood.