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Adrien had had a mirror in his room once.
Full length, black frame, went with the rest of the things in his room. He’d never really paid attention to it much since it never seemed to hold any significance. It was just there.
He’d never paid much attention to it until one day, after an akuma attack, when he’d caught a flash of purple in his peripheral vision as he was pulling off his shirt.
Curious, the blond shuffled closer to the mirror to get a better look.
It was a nasty bruise.
It was big—the size of a fist, and a large one at that since this akuma'd had abnormally large hands—and borderline black. Bright red dots were scattered amongst a blackened purple circular blob with edges that were tinged slightly green.
When had that happened?
His mind recalled the way Heartstopper was aiming for the center of his Lady’s chest and how he’d wrapped himself around her to protect her. With the movement, most of his fist had actually missed Adrien’s ribs.
He shuddered at the thought of what could’ve happened to him had the two of them not shifted to one side in his effort to shield her.
Pulling his shirt up to get a better look at the area, Adrien’s eyes widened as his fingers brushed against the rough ridges of a faded scar hidden beneath the fabric.
He swallowed.
Muscles still aching, he carefully pulled the cloth over his head and tossed it onto the floor.
Had it really gotten that bad?
In the few years he and his Lady had been fighting akuma, about one of every three times he had taken a hit for her, gladly. As the black cat of the duo—and because of how he cared for her—he never minded keeping her safe from harm, and he was always happy to see her injuries disappear from view once she activated her Miraculous Cure.
But—just his luck—it didn’t have the same affect on him.
In the beginning it hadn’t mattered. All three of them—including Hawkmoth—were just starting out and it wasn’t as serious. But as the years passed, Hawkmoth had grown more desperate, the akumas had become more violent, and therefore the injuries the two of them sustained were more severe.
The life-threatening injuries would heal only to the point where he would no longer be in danger and his own body could maintain the process of regenerating cells. That was the extent of which Ladybug’s power helped him, and he knew that if he told his Lady that, she would feel awful.
It was the only thing he’d ever kept from her.
Gashes, stabs, burns, cracked bone. You name it, he’d had it at some point, and each injury was harder than the last to hide from each photo shoot. Luckily the damage up until this point had stuck to his torso—with the occasional small cut or scrape on his arms.
Scars from slashes decorated his back and sides, coupled with marred flesh from burns. There was even a bright pink/red area at the lower right side of his stomach from an electrical attack once.
He rubbed his face and let out a loud sigh.
He loved his town. He truly did, and he didn’t want to see anyone get hurt. The imperfections left on his body were a small price to pay for that and he truly didn't mind it one bit.
It was just exhausting to have to keep it a secret from everyone…and in the future, if by some miracle his Lady wanted to be with him, or if—on an off chance—he were to find someone else to share his life with…
What would they think?
Would he be able to trust them and would they accept him?
Turning away from the mirror, Adrien climbed into bed.
He shouldn’t be worrying about that anyway. It didn't matter in the long run.
He needed to sleep.
…..
Adrien was very careful to have his photo shoots scheduled on days where the class had to swim.
Contrary to what one would believe—should they know that Adrien was Chat Noir—the blond loved the water. He loved treading, doing laps, just floating on his back. He absolutely adored it.
But when his scars got to the point they’d be too much to explain…he’d begun to avoid the pool.
He’d make other plans, he’d get Nathalie to schedule an extra shoot where he'd have to miss class. He’d find something that would keep him out of that gym period for the one day a month they were all in there.
But today…he wasn't so lucky.
“C’mon dude, you’re never here. Let’s go!”
Nino was pumped. When he’d heard Adrien was finally coming in to swim with the rest of the class for the first time, he wouldn’t stop raving about it, stoked his best buddy was finally going to be able to keep him company for an hour and a half.
Adrien felt like he was going to puke.
Shirts weren't allowed in the pool. They just weren’t. And there was no way for him to get from the locker room, into the pool, stay completely submerged the whole time, get out of the pool, and then dressed again without anyone seeing him.
He was so screwed.
Pulling his towel tighter around his shoulders, the blond let himself be pushed out of the locker room by his overly enthusiastic best friend.
“We can even race today and see who’s gotten better since the last time. It’s been a few years and I haven’t been practicing much, but neither have you so I think we’ll be evenly matched and I could probably give you a run for your money—”
Nino rambled and Adrien half tuned him out as he shuffled closer to the edge of the pool. A few of his classmates were already in there, and Nino wasted no time tossing his towel in the corner and diving in, swimming over to Alya.
“C’mon, dude!”
Adrien looked around. Everyone was either fumbling to find a spot for their towels, underwater, or chatting with a friend.
Nobody was paying any attention to him.
In one fluid motion, Adrien yanked off his towel, hurled it into an empty area, and quickly dove into the water, letting only his head pop out as he treaded in the deep end. Checking around him once more, he sighed in relief as nobody saw him.
Now he would only need to be the last one out after everyone went back to change.
And he did just that.
Once everyone had shuffled back into the change rooms, only then did Adrien pull himself out of the pool and dry himself off. The only sound was the small flutter of the water filter as it cleaned the pool with chlorine.
He was rubbing his mop of hair vigorously, thick locks falling in his eyes, when his ears pricked up at a sound from behind him and a quiet but audible intake of air.
Adrien’s muscles tensed as he slowly turned around.
It was Marinette.
The two of them had gotten closer over the few years he’d been in public school with her. She still blushed once in awhile and avoided his gaze—he still wasn’t entirely sure why—but didn't stutter as much anymore and could form complete sentences and thoughts. Once they’d reached that level of comfort, Adrien’s heart had soared. He really liked Marinette, she had wonderful energy, she was a brilliant designer, and overall was an amazing friend to those she cared about, and even those who were less than ideal—like Chloe.
He loved spending time with her and loved having her around.
But right now, Adrien wished he could just crawl in a hole and die as he watched Marinette’s big beautiful blue eyes roam over his back and ribs. His skin pricked as he felt her gaze take in each faded injury, and a slow shiver crept up and his spine.
He swallowed and managed a small wave as he turned around.
Her eyes widened exponentially.
Oh yeah…that one.
There was a fisherman who’d gotten upset when his boating license had been taken away from him. He went on a rampage with a large fishing gaff, and before Ladybug was able to get it, the man had gutted him.
The large slash crossed the length of his lower abdomen on a slight angle. He remembered the blind searing pain, and then waking up in Ladybug’s arms. He’d been put back together for the most part, but his stomach was tender for the next month and he wasn’t quite himself for the next few akuma attacks.
That one had really messed with his head.
His suit at that point had been ripped open, and that was the first time he’d really felt Ladybug’s touch on his bare skin. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to enjoy it at the time, the way her fingers had traced along the contours of the gash…
The way Marinette was now.
She’d made her way over to him, and lightly pressed her fingers to the large, pudgy scar. He didn't miss the way her eyes glistened as her free hand came up to cover her mouth. Those same eyes looked up to him, fear and horror evident within them.
“Adrien,” her voice cracked, “what—”
“Adrien!”
It was Nino.
Marinette spun around, blocking the blond’s torso from view of those who may decide to come back out of the dressing room. Nino being one of them sauntered out with a giant smile on his face before seeing him with Marinette.
“Oooooh,” he lured, snickering. “Don’t let me stop you, I’ll catchya later dude!” And with a wink, Nino disappeared as quickly as he reappeared.
Adrien watched as Marinette brought her hands up to her forehead and walked around Adrien to his back. The closer she got, the more he stiffened.
As much as he was comfortable with Marinette and enjoyed having her around, he didn’t know what exactly he was going to be able to do to explain himself.
Seconds felt like hours before he felt something soft rest just between his shoulder blades. He craned his neck around to see Marinette resting her forehead against his skin, muttering to herself.
“Same hair, same eyes, same bodytype, gone at the same time. Fuck, how stupid am I, Tikki?”
Adrien’s brow furrowed.
Who was Tikki?
“Stupid, kitty,” she muttered under her breath before looking up at him. “I thought you said you never lied to me.”
Never lied to her…wha—
…wh…what?
“You said that the cure works on everything. You said you never got hurt! You said you never felt a thing…and then I see this?! Chat, what the hell are you thinking doing this to yourself for me? Especially when you don’t even know who she…me…I am behind that mask. You don’t even know and you’re hurting yourself, and—”
Adrien's eyes widened as her words sunk in, and he had to stop himself from crushing her to his chest.
Of course it was her…of course.
A wave of peace washed over Adrien as he held Marinette in his arms, fingers running through her loose, wet hair. He felt her hands wrap around his back as she cried into the crook of his neck.
“Stupid, stupid, kitty,” she muttered.
Adrien only held her tighter.
“I’m happy to protect you, my Lady,” he whispered into her hair, resting his cheek atop her head.
“Why...” she croaked, “why did you lie?”
Adrien shrugged, “I didn’t want this to happen and I didn’t want you to feel guilty about my bad luck getting in the way of your cure.”
Marinette shook her head against his chest.
“You shouldn’t be doing this for me—”
“My Lady.”
His tone was firm as his fingers wrapped around her shoulders and pushed her away slightly.
“Do not feel guilty for the actions I decide to take. Ever. They are not your fault one bit, and each time I make that decision myself, not because I’m in love with you, but because you are my partner, and I know the effects will not last forever.”
Tears fell from Marinette’s eyes as her forehead returned to his chest. Wrapping himself around her for an entirely different reason this time—which he had to admit he enjoyed since usually he was being attacked afterward—a low purr rumbled in Adrien’s chest in an effort to soothe his raven-haired partner.
He was so glad that it worked.