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Lapis Lazuli is afraid When Garnet finds Lapis, she's crying. Lapis cries a lot now. It's been years since the Crystal Gems found her and Jasper caught in their power struggle as Malachite and still, Lapis cries. Jasper doesn't cry, or move or speak or generally do anything unless Steven or Peridot are there with her, but Garnet’s learned that Lapis is like an emotional rollercoaster these days. The gem went missing the day before. Steven was desperate to find her and even though he's close to an adult now, Garnet still can't say no to that face. So she and Pearl and Amethyst and Peridot (not Jasper, never Jasper) have been searching for hours trying to find Lapis and it's tiring. She goes missing at least once every two weeks and Steven still gets worried about her. But they always find her and today is no exception. Garnet finds her on some other planet, she can't remember which. All of the gems have been able to travel a lot since the warp pads got fixed up. Lapis is particularly fond of leaving Earth, and yet, she always comes back.
This planet is dry, like a desert spans the entire globe. Not a drop of water or any trace of life is in sight. This planet has a sun hot enough to burn all of Earth to ash but gem forms are strong enough to withstand the heat, so Garnet ignores it. She's lucky that Connie insisted on taking Steven with her to some party because if he were here, he’d surely die. The land is flat and empty, save for a flat blue rock right in her line of vision. The rock shudders and she know that it’s Lapis.
“Steven misses you,” she tells her once she’s approached her. The gem is silent. She's curled up in a fetal position, which is fitting since she cries much like a child. Her blue hair is fanned out around her head like a cloud or a halo and her head is buried into her knees. Her tiny fists clutch her dress.
“I’ll come back later,” she says after several minutes. Her voice is wobbly and vulnerable and thick with tears. If Garnet had heard this voice years ago when they first met on the beach, she would've said that the voice is very unlike Lapis. Now she knows that it fits her exactly. “I always do. I just want to be alone.”
“We’ll always give you space back home if you need it.”
“I just want to be completely alone,” Lapis clarifies. “I’ll be back soon, just go already.”
Garnet sighs and takes her glasses off to see Lapis better. She's being difficult again. Sometimes she comes back without protest and whichever gem finds her thanks the stars for it, but other times she pouts and complains and this time must be one of those times. Garnet doesn't want to leave her, so she sits down next to her. The ground beneath her is hot like a frying pan and hard like, well, solid rock. She don't really care, but she certainly wouldn't want to sit here for hours and she wonders if Lapis is uncomfortable since she's been lying here for so long. So she asks her.
“I'm fine,” she says. “I like it here.”
“Why?” Garnet asks. “This place is horrible. No animals, no plants, no life at all.”
“Exactly. I can finally get some peace,” she says.
“Isn't it lonely?”
Lapis snorts. “No. I like being by myself. You're a fusion, you wouldn't understand.” Her voice lowers when she says she says fusion. Lapis was raised according to traditional Homeworld standards, so Garnet being a fusion did bother her at first. Now she doesn't mind, but the entire concept of it still unnerves her. Garnet can at least wrap her head around why. Being Malachite for so long couldn't have made her warm up to the experience. Jasper doesn't fuse either, and they both look away when Opal or Stevonnie form.
And then it hits her, why Lapis likes this planet so much. “If you want to avoid water, we’re happy letting you stay in the house,” she tells her, and Lapis shudders at the mention of water.
“I can't avoid it in the house,” she says. “The ocean, it's right outside. The same ocean that Malachite was trapped in. And Jasper is always there, always sitting there and staring at nothing. I’m trying not to hate her anymore but it's so hard, Garnet! It's still too much! All of you are too much!” Her fists clench further until her knuckles turn pale like the Earth’s sky and Garnet can hear the sizzle of evaporating water when her tears hit the hot rock.
“I'm sorry,” Garnet says, and she really, truly is. “We still support you, though.”
“I know.”
Neither of them say anything else, but Garnet lays a hand on her shoulder and feels lean muscle relax under her palm. Garnet gives her about an hour, then picks her up bridal-style and takes her home.