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“Ah, shit!” Axton cursed as he practically dove across the messy kitchen to turn down the heat on a pot boiling over. Luckily it was only water but still, who knew how that was going to come out now. Fresh vegetables weren’t exactly the easiest to get, even for someone with the connection to military surplus. He was only getting one shot to make this all work out and the last thing he needed was to make the veggies into a gross mush. Were it just for him he wouldn’t really care. It was better than the questionable meals he had been eating on Pandora. When you face down the creatures that end up on your plate and you can clearly picture the off colored drool dripping from their jowls or recall a time when one was licking itself after rolling in a pile of dirt and blood, you tend to wonder if its sanitary even after being broiled, grilled or baked to death. No amount of cleaning and preparation would ever make the beasties on the planet quite like the real meats from the central planets and Axton had pulled several strings and spent a lot of his hard-earned cash on getting the small cooler of delectable sent to him and he was going to try his damn best to make it amazing. Not for him. For her.
The ex-soldier flipped a switch, brightening the inside of his barely passable oven. A roast was tucked neatly into a deep, square pan. Juices ran down the outside of the browning hunk of beef and dripped into the pan, adding to the flavor of the simmering stock that partly submerged it. Another fifteen minutes and it was sure to be done. He recalled a recipe from his Dahl days that called for a low-and-slow cook method. Considering that his cheap kitchen equipment could do nothing but that, it worked out in his favor. With a worried hand he lifted the lid on the pot that he managed to save from making a complete mess on his stove top (it was only wet around the immediate burner). “Thank Christ,” Axton sighed heavily. His wooden spoon moved freely among the colorful vegetables. None of them had stuck to the bottom. How he managed that he had no idea but rather than question it, he simply moved on.
Wiping away the sweat and smearing cream cheese that had stuck to his fingers onto his forehead, he turned his attention back to the bowl of creamy batter on his counter. Cheesecake had always been a guilty pleasure of his and he had a good feeling that his hot date would appreciate the new flavor on her tongue. Brow furrowed in concentration he carefully added it to the pan lined with graham cracker crumbs. Didn’t want to take make any part of the bottom bare. There needed to be a crust on every inch of the dessert. Was his favorite part and he called for nothing less than perfection from the simple delight. He had picked it for that very reason. Plus it didn’t need to be baked. Hallelujah. Into the fridge it went. Hopefully it would cool enough to solidify before his partner in crime arrived for a “surprise”. Given that his refrigerator was more of a freezer, he was certain it would be fine. Hopefully.
Eyes quickly sweeping the stove and oven, Axton made sure he could move onto cleaning and a few easy tasks as the rest of the meal finished cooking. Coast clear, he piled dishes into the sink and scrubbed the counter where he had an incident with the milk and sugar. “Damn, this shit is really on there,” the Commando grunted as he dug into the hardened spill with a rough cloth. Eventually it came up, for the most part, so he could finish up that part and get out the last bit of their meal to prepare. A small paper bag crinkled as his battle-worn hand plucked it from a small compartment within the cooler. It wasn’t a ton, but it would do for the evening. Axton brought the small baguette to his nose and took a whiff. It felt like ages since he smelled the delicious aroma of freshly baked bread. Certainly wasn’t the scent he was picking up at that moment since what he had was at least 2 days old, but nothing a quick slice job and trip in the oven wouldn’t solve. Knife in hand and bread on his clean cutting board, Ax did his best to make as many slices as he could without risking his knuckles or the integrity of the bread. The last two were a bit of a mess but he figured to hide them on the bottom of the tiny basket he picked up and take them for himself. Would be rude to have the lady eat the messed up ones. Onto a baking sheet and into the oven they went.
Satisfied with the progression of his cooking, Axton grinned to himself as he pulled one last trick from the cooler. Sure Moxxi’s had a lot of booze and he could have just taken a trip down to get a bottle of whiskey or rum, but this wasn’t a night for the strong stuff. This was an occasion for something a little more delicate and that went well with some meat and vegetables. Booted footsteps made his floorboards creak as he approached his tiny dining table and set the bottle of red wine alongside two tumblers. Unfortunately the guy he was dealing with couldn’t get him two of the proper glasses to go with the bottle. Maybe if he sent more money. Whatever. It was kind of reminiscent of them to not do things completely proper anyway. Kind of in the nature of everyone on that damn planet actually. His gaze swept over the setting; two plates with barely any cracks and acceptable silverware, paper napkins with hearts printed on them (thanks went to Tina for that one) and the wine. Now all that was missing was the lovely woman he was waiting on and the food.
Suddenly the smell of smoke stung his nostrils.
Terrified and wide-eyed, Axton whipped around and stared at his oven where puffs of smoke seeped from the door and curled towards his ceiling. “FUCK!” Axton barked as he bolted towards the cooking equipment and practically tore it open, releasing a huge cloud of gray hot. The smoke choked his lungs and burned his eyes but armed with a dish rag he dissipated the cloud so he could rescue the meat inside. As it sat on his stove top, he felt his stomach drop. The top of the roast had darkened beyond an acceptable point and the stock on the bottom that was keeping it juicy had all but disappeared. “What the hell happened?!” A curious eye peeked into his oven and looked at the temperature. Usually it was a good hundred degrees off of what he set it to but now it was dead on. Somehow, after years of living in that apartment with the same limping equipment, it had miraculously fixed itself then and there, cooking the entrée at a much higher temperature than what was called for. After taking a deep breath Ax decided to just allow the dish to rest before he attempted to cut into it. Maybe it would save whatever juices were left inside it and it wouldn’t be a complete disaster. The smell of bread summoned him back to the oven. And not quite good bread either. Panic over the roast caused him to forget the tray of slices on the lower rack. Taking up his mitt once again he pulled free the tray and did everything he could to keep from flipping the sheet out the window. Blackened crusts stared at him, shiny in the overhead kitchen light.
“This can’t fucking be happening,” the words came out in a weird sigh and growl combination as he rested the pan of burnt bread on the counter. What was he going to do with this? He couldn’t serve blackened bread. Even partly overbaked bread was kind of difficult to swallow. This would just be impossible. On closer inspection he noticed that the centers of the slices didn’t seem to be in such bad shape. Determined to save what he could of the side (and make the price tag for it worth it as much as possible) he returned the slices to the cutting board and carefully removed the crusts. “Well, they’re kinda small, but at least they look kind of edible now, “ Ax conceded as he piled them into the basket. The pieces that had been pitiful to begin with were almost completely burnt and ended up in the trash. Maybe she wouldn’t notice the burning smell wafting from his garbage can.
“Hmm, let’s see. That’s at least saved. Meat might be ok. The vege-OH DAMNIT!” Memory of the over boiling pot slapped Axton in the face and he headed back in a whirlwind to the stove. To his surprise the lid wasn’t shaking around and bubbles weren’t escaping from the seams. Matter of fact the pot was quiet. Too quiet. Narrowed eyes inspected the water to find it not bubbling at all. There wasn’t even steam. “No freakin’ way. Did I? I did,” the Commando’s shoulders slumped when he realized that in his frantic attempt to save the veggies earlier he had killed the flame altogether. They hadn’t been cooking at all. Fork in hand Ax fished out one of the carrots lazing in the water and took a bite. It was only partly cooked, the orange vegetable still having a lot of snap to it. “Now what do I do? I can turn ‘em back on but she’ll be here any minute now. Wouldn’t look good if I was still cookin’ when she gets here. Tryin’ to be punctual with this surprise. But if I serve ‘em now, it’s just gonna be like they’re just barely heated up…hmmm….” The ex-soldier contemplated his plan of action for a few moments but was interrupted with a knock at the door. “Shit!” he cursed under his breath as he covered the pot with the lid again and abandoned the stove to greet his visitor.
His front door opened to reveal his date for the night, blue hair perfectly arranged and body wrapped neatly in a black keyhole dress. Axton was floored. And suddenly glad he decided to cook in his nicer pants, black button down and gray vest. “Holy shi-, hey I’m the one that’s supposed to be doing the surprising tonight,” his tone displayed his approval in her choice of outfit. His response caused soft cheeks to blush.
“Well I thought I would return the favor regardless of what yours was,” she explained, painted lips curling into a smile before she closed in to deliver a quick kiss to Axton’s lips. Her eyebrow raised up when she pulled back. “The hell is on your forehead?” she questioned, reaching out and swiping the strange substance from his forehead. “Is that….cream cheese?”
“Uhhh,” Axton stalled. He thought he felt something kind of wet near his rank earlier. Dammit.
A shrug lifted Maya’s shoulders as she popped her covered fingertip into her mouth to clean it. Axton couldn’t help but think it was kinda sexy. Also he thanked whatever higher power was still listening to him that it was cream cheese and not butter or something. He watched Maya’s brow wrinkle. A sniff sounded from her nose as it caught the scent of something…unusual. “What’s that smell?”
“Oh! That’s uhh….well…depends. What’s it smell like?”
“Like….food?!” the Siren’s eyes lit up when she connected everything. The table setting and the pots and pans on the stove confirmed it all. “Did you cook for me?!” she squeaked, pushing him playfully at the shoulder with her hand.
“Well…yeah. I tried anyway,” Ax admitted, an idle hand scratching at the back of his head. “Hopefully you like it all. I’ve hit a few snags.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be great. Or it’s going to kill me. Either way I’m ready to eat,” his date entered his apartment, still sniffing hungrily at the air. Seemed that she hadn’t picked up on any of the burning stench that had attacked his apartment minutes before. Who needed windows when your ventilation system was awesome?
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he chuckled as he pulled the seat he had picked to assign her from under the table. It was the non-broken one. “Afraid it’s gonna be a few more minutes, Darlin’. Think you can hang on?”
“Definitely,” she agreed with a smile as she took her seat.
Quick as he could Axton got the meal ready. Despite the “over caramelized” outside of the roast, the meat inside still looked moist enough to not make them choke. He drained the veggies and served up the best of both parts of the meal on Maya’s plate, taking the second-best for himself. To say that the Commando being nervous was rare was an understatement. Honestly he couldn’t recall the last time he wanted to impress anyone to any degree, let alone how badly he needed to get Maya’s approval. Maybe it was because she probably hadn’t eaten some if not all of what he had made for her. Or it was the fact that she was the first woman that truly understood him and enjoyed everything he did. Regardless of reason, he wished frantically in his head that everything went well.
And despite all the burning, the undercooking and panic, Maya grinned at the first bite of meat. “This is great, Ax!” she declared while she chewed, barely covering her mouth as she spoke. “I like that the outside is done more. Kind of adds to it.”
“Wow, seriously? I kind of burnt it a little,” he admitted. Why he revealed that he had no clue. Could’ve just taken the compliment and moved along but his lips liked to move faster than his brain about ninety-eight percent of the time that he socialized.
“Well it’s still plenty tasty,” the Siren countered as she took in another bite. He watched her carefully when her fork pierced a carrot, the prongs hardly impaling it. The small vegetable disappeared behind her lips and he could hear the snapping of it as her teeth started to break it down. This was sure to be when there was a sound of disapproval. “Perfect.”
“What?” Axton stared at his date. Was she that sheltered that she didn’t know an undercooked carrot when she tasted one? Maybe he underestimated the shittiness that was the Order of the Storm.
“I like my veggies with some crunch to them. Lightly cooked is all I need,” she explained before going back to her meat.
“Damn, and here I thought…never mind. Wine?”
“Please.”
The rest of the meal went on as any other. Glasses clinked together in a toast before they drained the red bit by bit that swirled inside their tumblers. A fact that Maya giggled at. Axton blamed his asshole contact for not having the right glasses in stock. Apparently the Siren always liked the crust cut off her baked bread, preferring the soft inside to stand alone. Eventually the Commando managed to eat the meal himself. His meat was a bit drier, he liked his vegetables cooked a bit more and the crust was his favorite part but it didn’t matter. At the end of the day he was making the meal with her in mind and she loved it. That’s all that he cared about. Plates cleaned of every scrap of food, Axton cleared their settings and moved his wobbly chair closer to Maya’s, enjoying the proximity and a second glass of wine. Her head found his shoulder and she sighed.
“That was wonderful, Axton. And a great surprise. Thank you,” she sealed the sentence with a kiss to the corner of his grinning mouth.
“You’re welcome, Darlin’,” he returned a kiss but to her forehead.
“The only thing I could possibly want now is something sweet to finish that off with.”
Axton’s muscles tensed. “….shit.”
Fridge door open Ax stared at the cheesecake he had chilling. Though the oven somehow repaired itself, his piece of shit fridge hadn’t figured out that it was not a freezer yet. Not only was the dessert more solid than he was hoping, it was lopsided. Way for him to not pay attention to which shelf he set it on. “Well, Darlin’. There’s dessert but,” he removed the tin from the cold and tossed it onto the table, it landing with a heavy metallic thud, “you’re gonna have to wait a bit.”
Maya did her best to not chuckle at the icy state of the dessert. Seemed like her man had a hell of a time with his cooking venture right thru to the end. “That’s alright,” she assured him as she got up from her seat, her hands finding his chest through the fabric of his vest. “I’m pretty sure we can keep ourselves occupied while it’s defrosting.” A fox-like grin curled Maya’s lips, one that Axton returned.
“Darlin’ you are perfection,” he growled as he scooped her up into his arm and carried her off. She giggled softly into his shoulder as he walked them into his bedroom, leaving the dessert to return to an edible state.