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Bloom didn’t expect her heart to break into any more pieces. But it did. It really, really did—right at the very moment she saw Timmy was still awake, clamoring away at his computer keys as if they held all the pieces to his sanity.
Tecna’s the only one who holds what you’re looking for. If only she were just here right now…
Leaning against the doorframe, Bloom just held her breath and watched him with tired eyes. Timmy’s eyes were just as fatigued, laced with tiny red veins that the screen light didn’t bother to hide. Strange how she could see his pain so easily, even through the sheen of his glasses. A pain this big was just too hard to shield. Too hard to run from. Too hard to heal in the midst of these anticipating hours.
“Oh—Bloom?”
The second Timmy's gaze crashed with Bloom's, it was like a glint on silver. Neither of them moved. The room seemed devoid of all air—of any real words to be said.
Somehow, Bloom willed herself to shift against the doorframe. She pushed hair behind her ear, but the motion felt meaningless and numb. Everything felt that way now that Tecna was gone.
"I figured you'd still be up." Bloom spit the words in some breath that hardly had a voice. She didn't know what else to say.
Bloom let herself amble into Timmy's darkened room, not thinking of anything and yet everything all at once. The only source of light came from the computer screen's useless sweeping lines, searching and searching without rest nor result.
In spite of Timmy's black-rimmed eyes, he didn't seem bothered by Bloom's entry. He just leaned back in his chair like he was thankful for the distraction. Something like a sad smile quirked his lip—something so loose, it'd come unraveling if ever touched.
"Came to check on the guy who doesn't know when to quit?" Timmy asked.
Bloom's chest clenched at the tone of his voice. Nevertheless, she smiled back. "Yeah, I did. But not because he's wasting his time. I think all the world could use more people like you."
Timmy just let his fragile smile linger, let his eyes glimmer an ocean of conflicted emotions. It looked as though something like a thank you wanted to roll off his breath, but his mouth didn't move. He looked moments away from tears. Moments away from breaking beyond repair.
And thus, another pang of aches swelled in Bloom's gut. God—coming here wasn't supposed to break her so much. She just meant to check on him, give him a hug, and tell him goodnight. But the weight of everything just crashed down on her like a bomb, sending her waist into the plush cushions of Timmy's bed.
He's so tired, Bloom helplessly thought. And even though she wasn't the one fighting with the limitations of technology, she realized that…so was she. They were all tired, yet Tecna's absence is what kept them sleepless. The weight of their new reality kept looping around in circles, and so long as Tecna's space in the team was empty, there was no escape.
Dammit, I'm sick of it all. Bloom felt fire burn her fists. I'm sick of Valtor taking everything we love. Look at what it's done to us.
Revenge was like firecrackers going off in her mind. One by one, spark after spark, plans of blood stained her thoughts before she could stop them. She was a second away from spitting out the silver bullets—promises of Valtor's demise, the request for Timmy to join her—but the squeak of an overused chair took the words and melted them.
"What if I don’t find her?" Timmy's voice touched the walls again, soft and strained. “What would I do? How am I supposed to live knowing that she's damn well alive out there, and I just can't do anything about it? There's gotta be something I'm missing. Something. I'm gonna find it.”
Bloom blinked away the vision of red. Timmy became the only thing she saw now.
That's right… He can still feel her, can't he?
Bloom said nothing and just watched him as he yanked his glasses off, scrubbed his face with a sad kind of fury. Words were useless. There was nothing that words could do to answer him in a way that felt right or at least half-ass helpful. But despite how powerless Bloom felt, she felt something else start to sparkle in her core. It was some strange kind of warmth, bubbling in the smack middle of her body. Why did it seem like she never saw Timmy until now? Like really, truly see him. He seemed so different and yet so genuine tonight, as if she was discovering a part of him she didn't realize he was hiding beneath his usual shy fumbles.
He's got this kind of…fire in him.
Someone in a world of pain, but shining through it like a stubborn gold flame. His foot constantly on the gas pedal, driving through tears and doubts and fatigue—everything that tried to stop him.
Yes. Despite the pain that fueled him, Bloom truly did start to realize how beautiful Timmy really was. How beautiful he always had been.
Oh, Timmy…
So Bloom just let herself move without conscious thought. It wasn't long before her arms found a way through the tired crunch of his body. And it definitely wasn't much longer when she pressed herself up against him—awkwardly against the chair and all—so then her embrace secured tightly around him with nowhere to go.
Bloom heard Timmy's breath hitch. For the smallest of seconds, he didn't let himself breathe. But then all too quickly, some part of him snapped and withered. When he breathed again, it sounded like he was collapsing into her arms, even though he was already there. Slowly, oh so painfully slowly, his fingers reached to trace wiggly lines down her back in return.
Bloom smiled against his hair. "You're incredible, you know that?" She pulled away only slightly just to look at his face. He looked so naked without his glasses on. "I don't know much about what we're gonna do, but… I do know that we won't be able to do it without you. You're gonna be the fire that gets us through this. I just know it."
Timmy shook his head in tiny little motions. Oh, how flushed he became. It made the embrace even warmer.
"Bloom, I…" His eyes jumped everywhere, not quite meeting Bloom's. "I'm—I'm not sure about that…"
"You don't have to believe me. That's just what I think."
Bloom leaned back into the embrace, finding a nook in his shoulder to bury her head. She knew her words wouldn't mean much. They wouldn't bring Tecna back. But she was just saying what she believed in. Nothing more and nothing less.
The heat of Timmy's cheek found Bloom's shoulder. His breath was close enough to graze her neck, and she could tell it was slowly steadying into a rhythm with hers the longer they stayed like this. Shit, she didn't realize how close they really were. His breath on her skin started to do things it shouldn't. Strange butterfly-like things started stroking her stomach, to between her legs, to everywhere they didn't need to be.
But for the goddamn life of her, she couldn't let go. She didn't want to. It felt safer here than being alone in her bed, dreaming of Tecna's brave face, hearing her scream over and over again…
Bloom and Timmy stayed melted together like caramel rivers. They stayed like that for such a long, long time. Until Timmy inched his face to a different angle. No, a closer angle. His nose drew a tender line across Bloom's cheek, as if beckoning her to look at him.
Oh…
Maybe it was an accident.
Yeah, it had to be an accident.
But then her name rolled so sweetly and breathlessly off his tongue, Bloom swore her heart grew wings and flew.
"Bloom…" Never once had he said her name like that. Never did she think he'd ever say it like that. And so with a heartbeat gone wild, she hesitantly pulled herself away just enough to see his naked eyes glittering in tears. Except this time, his gaze didn't run away from her. It was strong, locked, calling out her name. "You're what's getting me through this right now, you know that?"
Then that's when everything went into a blur. She didn't know how it happened. She didn't know if she wanted to know. But somehow—right there in that moment of stupid weakness—she lost all sense of the world and let her mouth capture his. She wasn't even sure who kissed who—whether he started or she—but all too fast their lips were urgently melting together as if they needed each other to breathe. They burst into a rhythm of lips connecting and separating, again and forever, until the room was full of nothing but the hot little smacks of hungry, desperate kisses. Bloom’s stomach burned with either a sweet kind of hell or a stabbing pain of guilt. But she became too lost in the warm honey of Timmy’s tongue, too trapped in his hands that had roamed around her waist.
Just a little more, and it’ll never happen again.
Somehow the kisses grew deeper, more silky and butter-smooth. They moaned into each other’s mouths, a sad song of aching need.
I’m just so tired. I need this. We need this. Please, just…just for right now…
Once they both pulled away to gasp for air, however, one look at their stupidly flushed faces was all they needed to see.
There was no way in hell this ended here.
“….”
No, it was far from over. Even as Bloom scrambled off Timmy’s lap, and even as Timmy fumbled to throw his glasses crookedly back on his face…
Once you start playing with fire, it’s too hard not to get burned.