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Veronica watched, gasping, as Logan pummeled the crazy new kid, Ben, into the concrete of the balcony running along the second floor of the Camelot motel. She looked around frantically to see if there was anyone around to call the police, or maybe just to make sure no one else was watching; she honestly wasn’t sure which. Off to the left, near the door of room 226, Veronica saw a black leather wallet sitting open. Her heart sank when she saw the large, blue letters. FBI. Fuck.
“Logan, stop! Stop! He’s FBI!” she screamed, hoping it pierced the haze he seemed to be in. She pulled his elbow as it flew back, trying to stall it from landing another punch. Startled, Logan turned around. “Wha-? Huh?”
Veronica looked Logan straight in the eye. It was strange; she couldn’t remember the last time that she had looked Logan directly in the eye. As far as she could remember, it had been well before Lilly’s funeral. In fact, she’d spent the better part of the last year avoiding being any physically closer to Logan than she had to be. The length of a classroom, at least.
Their relationship had started to thaw recently – hard not to while she helped him find his mom and then let him soak the front of her shirt with tears in a hotel lobby. Still, she’d found it hard to really look at him without hiding behind the wall she had cemented into place since their friendship-breaking conversation in the library all those months ago.
Right now, though, Logan had just saved her from God-knows-what without her even having to ask. He’d flown out from behind the corner of the motel like some knight in shining armor, ready to slay the dragon. Not that she needed a knight; she could have handled things herself, but still. And Logan, going ape shit over some guy manhandling her, needed to be quelled. She looked him right in the eye and waited until the fog of rage cleared. Tentatively, she repeated, “He’s a federal agent. You need to stop.”
Suddenly, a painful burning sensation emanated from her left hip. Veronica doubled over and gasped. Logan jumped up and took hold of her upper arms, preventing her from falling. “”Ronica, what’s wrong? What did he do to you? I don’t care if he is FBI –”
Veronica breathed into the pain. No one had done anything to her, and yet, she couldn’t tell Logan the truth about what was happening either. How could she? How could she possibly explain what she had been trying with all her might to ignore since the night of Lilly’s memorial?
But how could she not?
The burning feeling was fading, slowly being replaced by something else entirely. Something equally fiery, but in no way painful. A small, candle-flame of yearning had begun in her core. Well, if this is all it is, I can ignore this. I can live with this. He never has to know. Put it in a box, Veronica. Just lock it away, like you did everything else.
Even as she tried to convince herself, she could feel the internal flame begin to expand. No. No.
“Nothing. He didn’t do anything, Logan. I’m fine. I was just – I’m fine.” Veronica straightened. “Let’s find out what’s going on. C’mon, bring him in here.” She turned to the door the FBI guy had been trying to open before Logan attacked him and shoved it open while Logan dragged the guy in behind her.
A short time later, Veronica closed the motel room door behind her and stepped towards Logan who had been waiting for her on the bcony looking tense and jittery. Apparently even after everything that had happened she could still read his tells. He looked like he used to whenever Lilly would go MIA for an evening. They always spent those evenings together, waiting for Lilly to text Veronica to say that she was back home. There was usually a great story attached about where she’d been, what trouble she’d gotten into. Sometimes, she even claimed Logan had been with her. Veronica would just shake her head and try to apologize to Logan, try to find some excuse for her friend that could justify the hours that Logan had spent pacing his pool house game room. Sad to think how many of those nights they’d passed that way.
He wasn’t pacing now, but she suspected it was only because there was no room on the balcony without stepping away from the partially open motel room door. He was leaning against the wall, left leg hitched up behind him, rubbing unconsciously at the top of his left front pocket, staring at the ground with a confused expression on his face. When he heard the click of the door, he looked up expectantly.
“You OK?”
“Um-hm.”
She’d been in the room maybe fifteen minutes, away from him maybe all of ten. In that time, the pulse she could feel at her center had multiplied three-fold. She could feel it in her fingertips. In her toes. In her lips. She’d had no idea that she could feel like this, that her body could betray her so thoroughly. But she couldn’t deny it anymore. She wasn’t being allowed to deny it anymore.
She’d been ignoring the feelings for months now. It had started the night of Lilly’s memorial, with a small smile exchanged across a crowd of people in the glow of their homecoming dance memories. A small pinprick, like an insect bite, had snagged her left hipbone. She hadn’t even registered it for what it was until later that night in the shower, when she looked down and saw the faint red squiggly line that had appeared.
Her mind had immediately flashed to her eighth grade sex ed class when they’d discussed the infamous mark girls got when they linked with the one who would “deflower” them. The person who would be The First. She’d been sure that she was mistaken, though. After all, she’d already been deflowered, hadn’t she?
She snorted at the thought. Deflower. She knew she couldn’t remember how it had happened, but she was certain that the pink and lace images that the word deflower brought to mind was nothing like what happened. Why would she get a mark now? The whole First Time was done, right? No need for the mark anymore.
And yet, weeks later, the line developed a little more when Logan had shown up at her house, asking her to help find his mother. The night when she’d helped him face the reality of Lynn’s death, the line had morphed into the beginnings of a word. As far as she could see, and it wasn’t easy to contort herself into a position where she could see it properly, the word began with an “A”. She could maybe make out a “W” and then an “S” at the end. But still, she denied. Compartmentalize, Veronica. Ignore. Hide.
But there was no hiding anymore. Because she knew that, were she to look, her mark had just fully materialized.
And Logan was absently swiping at the same spot on his own body.
And her insides were vibrating, lips tingling, hands shaking.
Veronica stared at Logan, unable to hide behind the denial any longer. She stepped up to him and kissed him softly on the corner of the mouth without consciously thinking about it. She stepped back again, looking at him expectantly.
Logan blinked. He moved towards her, a question in his eyes. Her answer must have been easy to see because the next thing Veronica knew, she was wrapped in his arms and up against the side of the motel.
Pulling away from his kiss to move her mouth down his neck, she managed to squeak out between love bites, “Down. Pick lock. Room next door. Now.”
Reluctantly, Logan let her regain her feet, but did not stop his own attack on her neck. Veronica pushed him away gently, and moved to the door. Behind her, she could hear Logan shifting from foot to foot. He inhaled softly before he spoke.
“I don’t understand, ‘Ronica. What’s going on?”
Veronica didn’t answer, but bent to work quickly on the lock with a pin that seemed to materialize from nowhere. The door clicked open and she pulled Logan inside the room and into her arms in one fluid motion.
It didn’t matter that Logan was more experienced. It only helped ease her nerves, knowing that at least someone in the room knew what they were doing. Mind you, everything that was happening between them felt instinctual, like they’d known each other’s bodies for years. She knew exactly what to do, what he liked, and he – Veronica trembled as his fingertips brushed her nipple. Veronica couldn’t really believe it, but Logan seemed to know her too.
She had always assumed that, considering how her real “first time” had gone, she would experience some kind of PTSD about the whole thing. Maybe it was because the mark affirmed the rightness of what was happening, or because it was with someone she’d known for so long, had once been so comfortable with, or because Logan had let go with her while he grieved his mother, but Veronica felt nothing but exultation at what was happening to her body.
This is what first times should be. Only pulsating heat and frantic hands and lips. Messy and aggressive. Clothes torn away for the right reasons.
Their jackets barely made it into the room with them, and their shirts quickly followed suit. They had started on their pants about half way to the bed when Veronica pulled back and stared at the flowered bedspread in distaste.
“I don’t know where those sheets have been. Actually, I do know. I followed Mr. Talbot to this room last week.” She shuddered.
Logan stepped away from her and ran his hand through his hair, looking around the room. His jeans were still hitched on his hips, but his fly was unbuttoned and his erection was pushing its way through his boxer briefs. Veronica ravished him with her eyes, her body humming with need for him. God, he’s so sexy. I haven’t let myself admit that in so long. But she had noticed; whether he was Lilly’s boyfriend, her tormentor, or her…sort of friend, again.
She’d wanted to stay mad after the year they’d been through, not admit that she was so attracted to him. The truth was, though, that she understood the rage, understood his lashing out. She had begun to forgive him the minute he’d smiled at her at the memorial.
It was strange; boys only occasionally got the mark, that sex ed teacher had said. No one really understood why but it only seemed to appear on the boy when the match was particularly strong, when real emotions were involved. When it was more than merely The First Time.
Certainly as she watched Logan now, clearly desperate to make her feel comfortable in this sleazy room, she could finally admit to herself that as much as she had fought their attraction, she desperately wanted it now. Wanted him. Her mark had appeared and she had forgiven him.
His mark was peaking over the top of his boxer briefs, and this was about more than merely the first time.
Still, she was Veronica Mars, a new, tougher version than Logan was used to dealing with, and she wasn’t planning on making this easy on him.
Coyly, she looked up from under her lashes and said, “I guess tonight’s not the night after all.” She shrugged and turned away, smiling to herself. She wasn’t sure how long she could stall, her body wanted nothing more than Logan’s hands all over her, but it was too much fun not to play with him just a little.
“WAIT! No, hang on.” It was cute, how flustered Logan was. He jumped past her and scooped up their jackets. He spread them on the bed, and ran into the bathroom, coming back out sniffing two large towels – “At least these seem to be washed” –which he then spread on the bed over the jackets. “Voila!” He motioned dramatically, eyes twinkling, then straightened and grabbed her hands, suddenly serious. “Is this OK, Veronica? I want you to be comfortable here. With me.” He looked down at their hands and his cheeks went pink. “I— I don’t know what’s happening here, or why, but I feel like—” He took a deep breath and looked back up at Veronica. “I feel like this is right. But how can you—? After all that I put you through?” Logan shook his head and glanced away again, pain and regret in his eyes.
Frustration and compassion warred within Veronica. There was no denying that they needed to talk about this, but her body needed him like she needed water and oxygen, and would not be denied any longer.
“We’ve been broken for a while, Logan. You hurt me and I hurt you, there’s no denying that. But this…this is more important than that. We’ll talk about it, we’ll fight about it, but later. Unless you want our first time to be angry make up sex?” She shrugged and stepped away from him, dropping his hands. “I guess that could be fun too.” Her eyes twinkled. “OK, bring it.”
A primal growl could be heard as Logan rushed in and wrapped his arms around her. His lips crashed onto hers and he backed her towards the bed, pushing down her panties and jeans as he went. When he’d leaned her back on the bed, he shucked his remaining clothes and knelt down in front of her. He positioned himself between her legs and spread her knees gently open, getting a good look at what she was offering him. “You’re beautiful,” she heard him murmur. “I knew, I mean, I thought I knew, but I never imagined how beautiful you actually were.” His whispers were lost to her as he ducked his head down and began licking up her inner thigh. Goosebumps sprung up over her whole body. Oh my God!
She felt Logan’s tongue sweep over her, lapping up the dampness that had been forming. “Mmmm….you taste amazing.” The words vibrated through her, and she thought she would come right then. Her hands clenched the towels.
“Logan, please. I can’t handle this. It’s too much. It feels like I’m on fire and on ice at the same time. Is this what it always feels like?” She could barely get the words out, her head was thrashing, but she had to know, and she had no prior experience to compare this to.
“I will do my damnedest to make it like this every time, Veronica.” Hearing Logan say her name while he was thrusting his tongue inside of her made Veronica’s hips buck up into his face.
“Oh God, Logan. Oh God!”
In response, Logan inserted first one, then two fingers into her. She felt slick and tight, and when he curled them forward while sucking gently on her clit, Veronica fell apart. She made high pitched keening noises that would surely mortify her when she came down from the cliff she was falling over, but for the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was falling and flying in equal measure, pleasure coursing through her in thunderous pulses.
All too soon and after too long, the pulses ebbed until her body hummed with the memory of them and her brain once again surfaced into awareness. Veronica opened her eyes and saw Logan pull his two fingers from his mouth and lick his lips. Instantly, the fire re-ignited inside of her and she reached for him. Instead of letting him lie over her, she grinned wickedly and flipped him onto his back. He smirked and rested his arms behind his head. “Yes? What did you have in mind, Bobcat?”
Veronica quirked an eyebrow. “Bobcat?”
“Seemed fitting, if the look on your face means anything. And assuming my fantasies are accurate.” He winked at her.
Veronica blushed. “Wait, what fantasies? You hated me until, like, ten minutes ago.”
Logan chuckled. “Yeah, well, nothing like a little hate-fapping to get a guy to sleep at night.” The switch flipped again and Serious Logan was back. “I didn’t hate you, ‘Ronica. Not really. I was just mad, and confused, and…” He closed his eyes.
Not ready to begin talking about this, Veronica desperately searched her brain for a way to change the subject, get them back on track. Her eye caught the top of his left leg. The fresh mark there had a slight red aura, like that found around a new tattoo. “Did it just appear, or has it been coming on gradually?” She grazed the area with her finger, a whisper over his skin, tracing the letters softly. She bent her head and kissed it, open mouthed and wet. Slowly she moved towards his navel. Logan writhed underneath her, letting her know that the distraction was working.
“Uh…dunno…” Logan groaned. Veronica dipped her tongue in his belly button and changed direction south, leaving a trail of moist kisses. When she bumped up against the head of his dick, she took a steadying breath, tucked in her chin and took him deep into her throat with one quick movement. Logan sat straight up in shock and then fell back again as she slowly dragged her mouth upward. She did this a few more times, with the occasional swirl of her tongue around the tip, until Logan began thrusting rhythmically. Figuring that he was close and wanting absolutely to have him inside of her, she pulled her mouth off his dick with a pop and slid up his body with her own, her nipples dragging enticingly over his abs and her wet curls rubbing up his thigh. She kissed him hard and grabbed his hands, holding them in place over his head as she straddled him properly.
Veronica paused with the tip of Logan’s dick just barely at her opening and pulled back from the kiss. Staring deeply into his eyes, she slid gently down, engulfing him completely.
“Loooogannnn…” Veronica moaned.
“Verrroooonnnicccaaa….”Logan groaned at the same time.
Without breaking eye contact, without moving anything but her pelvis, Veronica undulated slowly. Logan’s eyes widened, and she could tell he was fighting the urge to roll them back in his head.
They stared at each other, kissing sporadically, as their rhythm picked up and the movement changed from a sensual undulation to a frantic and uncontrollable bounce. Veronica sat up straight and leaned back, supporting herself on Logan’s calves. Logan reached up to squeeze her breasts, tweaking and pulling at her nipples. Veronica, surprised at how the roughness was turning her on, ordered him on. Logan sat up and pulled them back so that he was resting his back on the headboard, and continued his attention to her breasts. In between tweaks, when he must have known the sensation was too much for her, he sucked and licked them gently, before squeezing them again. Veronica was sore but it was a good kind of sore. The kind that would stay with her tomorrow as she relived this experience in her bed in the dark, her hands echoing his motions and her fingers substituting for Logan between her legs.
The throbbing in her core began to be too much, and Veronica’s keening pitched an octave higher. Logan, correctly interpreting her reaction, flipped her around to change the angle, so that she leaned back into his chest. He held on to her breasts, clutching Veronica tightly to him, as he took control of the thrusting. He bent his head down into her neck and started sucking uncontrollably until she felt a slight pain. She gasped and he bit her, gently. The sensation was enough to put her over the edge. She thrashed around with abandon, calling out Logan’s name, thanking God, and moaning. Logan followed soon after, pushing up into her sharp and strong.
Spent, Logan and Veronica lay back together, gasping and sweaty. “Holy crap, Logan. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but that was…Jesus,” Veronica mumbled.
“It was amazing, Veronica. That was—” Logan resettled Veronica in the crook of his arm and lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.” She looked at him doubtfully. “I’m serious, ‘Ronica. It’s never been like that before.” He glanced down at her mark that was identical to his, running his hand over it lightly, before looking back up at her and smiling with a contentment she had not seen in him since Lilly died.
“What are we doing?” Veronica asked him, chuckling.
“I have no idea,” Logan answered, shaking his head ruefully. “But I’m looking forward to the Always.”