Chapter Text
It starts with an awkward conversation at a group party. Pei Ming probably started it, or maybe it was Shi Qingxuan, later Xie Lian can’t remember, but whoever it was, everyone ends up being pressured to talk about their crushes, if they have one. That's when Xie Lian learns about Hua Cheng's special precious beloved someone, a person who, for some reason, won't go out with Hua Cheng, who for some reason hasn't fallen for him yet, even though Hua Cheng is beautiful and brilliant and funny and clever and kind and... ok Xie Lian might be a bit in love with him, well no, more than a bit.
Xie Lian IS in love with Hua Cheng, has been for years, head over heels in love, hasn't so much as glanced at another guy in all that time, in love and Hua Cheng... All this time Hua Cheng has been in love with someone else and Xie Lian is still reeling with that revelation when the group turns to him and /demands/ to know if Xie Lian likes anyone and he can't deal right now he really can't so he tells them "no" tells them "there isn't anyone" tells them "I haven’t met anyone who's my type."
Xie Lian is very careful NOT to look at Hua Cheng as he says it so he doesn't see well he doesn't see alot so he can't really understand Hua Cheng's stiffness toward him after that, or maybe Hua Cheng isn't being stiff?? Maybe he is?? Maybe Xie Lian is really the one who's pulling back, maybe he's why everything suddenly feels wrong between them, because Hua Cheng is in love with someone else. Wants someone else.
Xie Lian has been such a FOOL. Of corse there was someone. Hua Cheng is so beautiful, so clever so... so PERFECT of corse there is someone.
But the fact that that someone doesn't seem to want Hua Cheng...
Xie Lian is so busy stewing in his own emotions that he barely notices when Hua Cheng slips away from the rest of group. Maybe it's a good thing he does. Xie Lian isn't sure that he can be around him right now
Still... He spends the rest of the night missing him.
They meet again at the end of the night. Xie Lian is on his way out of the bar, tipsy enough to stew in his emotions but not drunk, Hua Cheng... Hua Cheng is sitting in a corner drinking by himself and Xie Lian is surprised to see him. He thought he left. But there he is all alone and Xie Lian can't leave without checking on him even with how things are now so he goes and he checks in and it's pretty clear that Hua Cheng isn't doing well. He's not drunk really, but he's starting to get pretty close to it, and his mood is so dark that Xie Lian is worried that he wont be careful of his limits. Yet when Xie Lian asks Hua Cheng what's wrong all he'll say is "it's nothing, gege, don't worry about it, I'm fine."
It is SUCH an obvious lie. "What's wrong with San Lang?" Xie Lian asks He Xuan who was drinking with Hua Cheng earlier. He Xuan grimaces. "He says that his beloved isn't into him. I think he got rejected or something. He's been a mess all night."
Anger surges in Xie Lian. Hua Cheng must have been motivated by the conversation before to confess to his love, that's probably where he went in fact, and when he confessed... When he confessed he was rejected??? San Lang??? San Lang who is so perfect and deserves everything and certainly deserves far more than to pine over someone who doesn't see his worth.
The alcohol, the jealousy, anger, San Lang's pain, they all spiral together until a sudden resolve is burning in Xie Lian's chest. Hua Cheng shouldn't feel like this even if it's just for one night, even if it means nothing, and Hua Cheng isn't in any fit state to go home alone, and Xie Lian's apartment is so much closer and...
In a burst of determination and jealousy Xie Lian turns back to Hua Cheng.
"San Lang, do you want to come back to my place tonight?"
At first Hua Cheng just stares at him then he smiles and shakes his head a smile that doesn't reach his eye.
"Gege is kind to offer but you dont have to worry but I can get home just fine."
For a moment Xie Lian's heart flutters with doubt.
What if Hua Cheng knew what Xie Lian meant and said that as a form of rejection?
But no, no, Hua Cheng is distracted and he knows Xie Lian well, knows him well enough to know that Xie Lian has never picked up someone at a bar, would never pick up someone at a bar, and they are friends and Hua Cheng isn't interested in him, he never has been, he doesn't see Xie Lian that way, and he wont not until Xie Lian shows him, so Xie Lian persists, persuading Hua Cheng that his place is closer, that it will be easier, that he's stayed over so many times before so what's one more night?
it's not that Xie Lian thinks it'll be that easy to win Hua Cheng's heart away from whoever has just shattered it, he knows it wont be, knows that he'll never really be good enough for Hua Cheng, that he was a fool to think he ever had a chance, but still, even if it's just for one night, even if he can just distract Hua Cheng for this one night, help him through the heartbreak then maybe... it's a stupid plan, some part of him knows that, half born of selfish jealousy and half born of the selfless need to comfort the man he loves but the alcohol has taken control and he's not backing down, not now.
Eventually Hua Cheng gives in and allows himself to be guided back to Xie Lian's apartment, always with that distant despairing look in his eye that Xie Lian SO hates to see. They don't talk much on the walk back, each lost in their own thoughts. For his own part Xie Lian is thinking about what he's going to do next. How /does/ one actually seduce a man?? Just the thought makes his cheeks flush hot but it's dark and Hua Cheng is distracted and thankfully doesn't seem to notice as Xie Lian frantically tries to come up with a plan. As for Hua Cheng Xie Lian guesses that the thoughts he's lost in probably have to do with his beloved, the precious awful someone who somehow thought they were too good for Hua Cheng's regard, but Xie Lian isn't going to ask him about them after all he doesn't want to learn more about them, he wants to make Hua Cheng forget them.
After stepping into Xie Lian's apartment and slipping off their shoes Xie Lian gestures Hua Cheng to join him on the sofa. He keeps the lights low. Hopefully Hua Cheng will just think it's out of respect for any photosensitivity the alcohol might be causing but really it's because if Xie Lian has to do this in full light he knows that his blushes will give him away.
"San Lang. How drunk are you?"
Hua Cheng settles back against the couch and offers him an absent smile. "I told you, gege, I'm really not that drunk. You really don't need to worry."
Xie Lian's stomach twists with nerves and he licks his lips, trying to make sure his voice will stay steady as he asks, "If you're not too drunk then would you want to play a game?"
Hua Cheng looks briefly surprised but nods. "Alright. What game do you have in mind?"
"Poker."
Hua Cheng arches an eyebrow at him. "I didn't think you liked poker very much."
Heart hammering in his chest Xie Lian gives Hua Cheng his most confident smile.
"Tonight I do."
Xie Lian has a bowl of chestnuts on the table so they decide to use those as betting chips. They sit together on the sofa, bodies turned to face each other, cards in their hands. It's a casual game, both of them too intoxicated to really think about the strategy of the game and neither of them in a particularly competitive mood, at least not for cards, Xie Lian is feeling extremely competitive, just for something very different.
It's inevitable that Xie Lian loses. He's never had good luck with card games and that's when he's /trying/ to win.
Tonight though...
After Xie Lian loses the first round Hua Cheng doesn't seem to notice Xie Lian taking off his jacket or if he does he doesn't seem to think anything of it. After Xie Lian loses the second round however Hua Cheng /defiantly/ notices him taking off his shirt.
"Gege, what are you doing!?" Hua Cheng stares at him as Xie Lian stands and slowly, so slowly, unbuttons the shirt then slides it off his shoulders and down his arms.
The way Hua Cheng is staring at him, at his bare skin, has his heart fluttering in nervous excitement but Xie Lian does his best to keep his tone and expression as innocent as he can as he asks "I lost the round. Isn't this how it's supposed to go?"
Hua Cheng looks as though he's struggling for words but at last he manages to get out, "You wanted to play strip poker?"
Xie Lian shrugs lightly as the last bit of his shirt falls away. He folds it neatly then settles himself, now bare to the waist, back onto the couch. "I'm told that's how the game is really supposed to be played."
"But it doesn't have to be." Hua Cheng says it almost too quickly "You shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable."
"I don't mind." Worry quickly replaces excitement in Xie Lian's stomach but he does his best to keep his voice light and even as he asks, "What about you?"
When Hua Cheng answers his voice sounds vaguely strangled "No. I don't mind."