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Astarion had looked so pleased at the sight of the Netherbrain, too weak to continue the fight, willingly submitting. His eyes were wide, completely trained on the weakened brain. "This is our chance, my love. We could do it, you know. We could really take control of the brain- the whole world. We only have to take it."
Karlach scoffed. "Ignore him, Mordriel. Let’s kill it."
Mordriel didn’t.
Karlach cleared her throat. "What are you waiting for? Come on!"
Mordriel turned to Astarion for instruction. "Do you want the brain?"
"More than anything, my love," Astarion said, dipping his head low and giving Mordriel the prettiest, evil little grin ever. "Let’s do it. Let’s show them all just how bad life can get."
And h ow was Mordriel supposed to turn that gorgeous face down? That sweet, excited voice? Nothing could've been better than living with Astarion forever, with no one to hurt them and the ability to do whatever they wanted. Astarion would be treated as a god. Nothing would question him. Mordriel would make sure of that.
At least, he thought he would at the time. He didn’t realize then that Bhaal would take offense to that, to the knowledge Mordriel was taking the world for Astarion, and not for him, but unsurprisingly to everyone else, he did. Now, reliving the moments before his new hell started, it was obvious in retrospect that Bhaal would be upset to place second, below a man Mordriel had only met recently. It wasn’t so recent nowadays, but they hadn’t even known each other for five years when Mordriel tried to take the world for his lover.
And only moments after he had killed Orpheus, subdued Karlach with a holding spell- she was still Neil’s Tiefling, he couldn’t just kill her- and managed to get control of the brain, the Urges went wild, begging him- telling him- to kill his companions, but more importantly, Astarion. Mordriel instead reached for Astarion's hand, closing his fingers over his as softly as he could. At Mordriel's resistance, Bhaal’s disapproval was undeniable. He nearly shifted into the Slayer then and there, and he realized it was Bhaal trying to force him to shift. Only just barely did he manage to contain himself. But now, he knew he was not safe. Even before, he never trusted himself not to be the reason his beloved companions were in danger, but now more than ever, he was not to be trusted. Now, Bhaal had a strong tether to him. A tether he hadn’t realized Bhaal would happily use.
Astarion had let out the biggest howl of laughter as he watched Mordriel attempt to distract the Urges, using the power of the Netherstones to send wave after wave of groups of mind flayers into the city. The city could burn up in flames, for all he cared, as long as Astarion and Neil were fine. Shadowheart and Minthara, too. But beyond that? His affections were... relatively limited. And a city he barely remembered certainly didn't fall into his list of loves.
Astarion looked quite pleased, though. "Look at that. Isn't it nice? Being the ones with the power, for once. The world's ours now, love." Ours. Oursoursoursoursoursnonononokillkill! Ours to-"
"N-No." Mordriel pulled his hand from Astarion's as the pale elf turned to face him with a confused stare. Killkillkill! "He’s- unhappy, Astarion- Ast- run! Please- run...."
He quickly backed away as the nagging voice got louder. Only you! Leave only you! Kill! Killkillkill!
Astarion’s eyes widened. "...What...?"
“Bhaal calls.... Run- from me- please. I'll... find you in the end. You’ll be my last, my love. Okay? Run.”
That was the last sentence shared between them. Astarion stood frozen with confusion for a long moment before slowly backing away, holding Mordriel’s gaze. Then, he took off and vanished, leaving Mordriel with a memory he thought of daily.
Like tonight, laying on his blood-soaked bed in the Bhaal Temple, staring up at the ceiling, listening to Sceleritas, but not really. More so only somewhat listening to the sound of his voice as he replayed his last moments with Astarion, over and over. How much more of a bad person did it make him, to want to hold the person he promised personally to kill? ....Again. How was it only the people he planned on killing in the end times, that he'd fall in love with?
He wasn't sure if he could do it, when push came to shove. No.... No, of course he could. But perhaps only if he did it earlier, before Mordriel's... obsession made it impossible. That's what it was, right? Simply... a fixation. A simple obsession.
He shot up, turning to Sceleritas. "The vampire," he said abruptly, cutting his butler off.
Sceleritas cleared his throat. "What of it?"
"He- it- needs to die." Right. It. It. Think of him- fuck, it- like the others. Just something else to kill. Just another rabbit. A... bright white rabbit with pretty eyes.
Memories of his very first kill, before Bhaal, flashed into his mind. A white rabbit, its fur stained red at the place his own arrow was embedded. The feelings he felt over his first kill came to him, victory and pleasure mixed in with fresh nostalgia. He could kill another rabbit, easily.
Sceleritas completely lit up. "Oh, master! I'm so happy you agree! I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever do anything with the vampire."
"I promised I'd kill it. I'm just doing it sooner than later." Mordriel rose to his feet and quickly headed across the room towards his dresser for clothes. Meeting the vampire in his underwear wouldn't make the impression he wanted.
"By sooner... do you mean now?"
Mordriel nodded.
"Shouldn't you rest first, master?"
Mordriel grabbed a pair of pants and started hurriedly stepping into them. "No."
"Er... very well, if you must kill now, go ahead. You will sleep when you come back, I hope, yes?"
"....Yes," Mordriel said as he nodded again. Once he was free of his aggravating... affections for his old life- or let's be honest, for Astarion- he would sleep like a rock. He just needed to... get rid of all connections. Starting with the rabbit.
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It had been decades since Astarion had spoken to Mordriel. And impossibly long since he had spoken to anyone but himself, he wasn't even sure how long anymore.
The world was hardly what it once was. The population of people in Baldur's Gate and the surrounding land had rapidly dwindled, leaving the remaining majority of the population to be in hiding from the rampant mind flayers and gnolls. Even the seasons seemed to be affected; the air was always still, the trees seemed to sway with a quarter of the strength they once did, the sky seemed to turn red every few weeks for a few days each time, and the atmosphere just felt... colder. There was no peace in the land any longer. In Baldur’s Gate, or else. Nowadays, it was either chaos or perfect, eerie silence. Though, it had been leaning towards the latter for the past few years.
And it was all Mordriel's doing.
Mordriel's act of abandoning him in their greatest moment together and then going onto tell him to hide from the only person he had ever trusted and felt truly safe with had left Astarion in a permanent state of fight or flight again. Funny, that the person who unintentionally saved him from his fearful life by their own power-hungry evilness would put him right back into a new fearful life. A different one maybe, with less kennels and rotting rats and sadistic masters sure, but it was still only different in the context of a bright red to a blood red. Ugh, blood.... Astarion was starving. With Mordriel's personal mass murders and the Absolute's cult resurging in power, there was little for him to feed on in the area. Every time the population in his area would dwindle, he'd move on, but it was getting harder and harder to move onto a place that even had anything less. He never realized Mordriel could and would take over the world so easily. It made him painfully jealous- that should be them at the top of the world, with the average people starving, not him. But Mordriel ruined that. Ruined him, ruined his life. He had given him safety and comfort- a chance at forgetting his old life and starting anew, starting fresh as the Ascendant! ...Only to rip it away when they were about to find their roots in luxury. It somehow felt worse than Cazador's old tactics. And still, he thought of Mordriel often at his side again.
Though, this evening, he hadn't thought of much besides his poor attempts at soothing his nerves. Today, his flight or fight responses had been particularly... intense. He just had... a bad feeling today, making even the most trivial things terrifying. The wind picking up made him jolt, a leaf passing by the window had his heart racing a million miles per hour....
It was getting particularly bad right now. Currently, his heart was racing just trying to relax by reading in the bed of his most recent move. He had been sporadically moving homes every few months, just to be sure he was out of the Absolute's way. But he also didn't want to be too far away, so he could still keep tabs on the cult and the trifling matter of... how many more people would die until it was his turn. His most recent move was a nice place, likely a nobleman's home, telling by the materials used. It wasn't overly flashy, but it was well-built and well-structured, and best of all, it had few windows, making him feel sheltered. But even the safety of the home wasn't enough right now.
Especially as the light, screeching of what sounded like nails scraped against the window- no, just a tree, he realized as he flinched half out of his skin and turned to the window.
He let out an aggravated sigh before curling up again, pulling his pillow close and leaning on it as he went back to his story. He chose the lightest of stories he could find; a children's book. It would've been embarrassing, if there were anyone around to see him reading such a book. But he was alone, thankfully. He had probably reminded himself of that a thousand times today to ease his nerves.
And then, once again, an abrupt... sound caught Astarion's attention. His ears flipped backwards as he jolted.
For the first short moment, everything was silent. Astarion had been so jumpy today that he could've easily passed it off, if the sound hadn't continued just as he went back to his book. Step-drag, step-drag, step-drag.... Pause.
There it was. The true cause of the antsy feeling he had all day. Heavy footsteps neared close, with a gate unmistakably Mordriel's. He had a habit of dragging his tail along the floor when he was hunting prey he wanted to be scared, that fucking animal. And it more than succeeded with its intended effect.
His heart raced as he stared at the page, thinking. Has it already been so long? No, it hasn't. It hasn't. Why the hell is he here?
Years of yearning for his lover back within his reach came to a crushing end. And somehow, he wasn't so pleased to see him again.
He thought of running, but it wouldn't have been any use. It likely would have triggered some predatory instinct in him to chase. No, he needed to face him head-on, if he was going to survive. He steeled himself and straightened his spine, letting out a quiet, deep breath. Come on. No fear. After all, animals can smell fear, can't they? And he heavily doubted any ounce of his lover remained in whatever was going to stare back at him when he locked eyes with him.
-------
Hesitation. Agonizing hesitation at the thought of killing the rabbit. He paused so long that Astarion heard him. Though perhaps his intentionally loud steps gave him away, but that wasn't because he wanted to give the rabbit a fighting chance. He just... walked loudly. Of course, over the time of their separation he had learned to be completely silent even wearing heeled boots, but he was just... having a bad day.
...Right?
Astarion raised his head. “You should be more quiet," he said after a moment, "Have you really gotten so confident in your capabilities that you’ve lost any stealth I trained into you?” He scoffed. “Just because you’ve killed everything else, doesn’t mean you should parade around, thinking you’re untouchable.” He turned his head over his shoulder. “That’s what got you usurped and turned puppet in the first place." His eyes narrowed as he quietly added, "Isn’t it?”
Mordriel wasn’t expecting a warm welcome in the slightest of course- he wasn’t deserving of it, and he had told Astarion that he’d meet him again in the end times to kill him. No one, not even Astarion, would give a sweet hello to someone who said that. But he hadn’t expected Astarion to bring up Orin. Yet another connection. It'll all be gone soon, he reminded himself. No one will remember his fault in time. Mordriel's folly, just like Gale's and Karsus himself, would be forgotten soon enough.
Mordriel let out an unamused, single-syllable laugh. “You remembered.... Lovely.... Yes. It was.”
Astarion finally turned to face him. “Of course I did. I could hardly forget your weaknesses, could I? I was told I'd be found at the end of time and well, here it is.”
"I hope you remember them all," -and I hope you use it to your advantage. His stomach nearly turned over as he thought the unadded words. He stepped forward slowly, tilting his head and dipping it low slightly. The Urges especially didn't like it. No! No! Nononono forget! Forget! He chewed on his tongue to quiet them. It was like fighting with a child constantly. A violent child, always chatty, tugging at his sleeve and pointing out the obvious.
Astarion jolted slightly as Mordriel took a step, but he held his ground, only straightening further, exuding an unreasonable amount of confidence once the initial flinch subsided. “And why’s that, hm?”
Mordriel let out a low sigh and shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
Astarion scoffed and went quiet for a while, staring him down without any clues into his mind. "I'm surprised to see you look so unhappy to see me," he said abruptly, "Not drooling like some horrid dog over the idea of killing me anymore?"
The Urges went wild for a short moment at the idea. Kill kill kill- yes! Yes, kill it! Kill it! Ki- Mordriel managed to push them down by blinking them away, his eyebrows furrowing. "Didn't before, don't now." No- what was he saying? Of course he wanted it. What would Sceleritas think, hearing him say this? Hearing him lie? ...What would Father think?
Astarion let out a bitter laugh. "Funny. As I remember it, you were all too excited to tell me to run." He pointed at Mordriel, narrowing his eyes. "Don't you dare pretend otherwise. I know you." His hand fell at his side as he eyed Mordriel with contempt, bordering on disgust, his head raised, eyes narrowed, frown lines looking particularly prominent as they framed his scowl. "At least, I knew who you were before he became... this."
Mordriel hesitated before skipping over the last few sentences. "I wasn't... happy to tell you any of... that, Astarion." Father would be pissed.
"Weren't you, though?"
"No," Mordriel said firmly, "I wasn't. I wasn't happy waiting for this day, either."
"Doubt it. Keep lying to me, though."
"I wasn't." He sighed, putting his arms around himself. "I wouldn't lie to you."
"'I'll protect you', 'Nothing will hurt you while I'm around', 'I'll never leave you'." Astarion let out a low scoff. "What were those, then, if not lies? Exaggeration?"
"Promises I failed to keep," Mordriel corrected. "I'm...." More hesitation. This time, he was trying to hesitate. He didn't want to say the next words- he was a god's Chosen, he didn't need to grovel like this. He just needed to get rid of Astarion. He didn't need to listen to this prattle. And still, no matter how long he waited, the words still slipped out. "I'm sorry, Astarion, I.... I thought I could keep them." Sorry? Sorry? No. No. No!
"Funny. I never thought you could."
That sent the worst aches into Mordriel's stomach he had ever experienced. "Well," he whispered, nausea-induced saliva coating his mouth. He looked down at the ground, breathing out a sharp breath from his nose. "Well, that's... that, I suppose." At least that makes it easier. But it didn't.
"Is that all you can say to me?"
"Well, what am I... supposed to say to that?" Mordriel mumbled, looking up. "'Thank you for being right'...?"
Astarion scoffed before they both went silent. Mordriel looked away, but Astarion didn't. The feeling of Astarion's angry stare drilling into Mordriel's skull had him feeling like the rabbit, and he hated it. "You look like shit, you know," Astarion said abruptly, pulling Mordriel from that line of thought, reminding him that Astarion was the rabbit.
Mordriel let out a soft laugh followed by a long sigh. "...Thanks...." He tilted his head, admiring Astarion's somehow wildly put-together outfit. Even now, he was put-together, with lace and all. "You look... fancy. Nice to see you still have your flair even now." And he meant it.
Though, Astarion seemed to take it as a slight. He narrowed his eyes and looked Mordriel up and down. "Nice to see you've embraced the Bhaalist side."
Mordriel looked away. "...Yeah," he mumbled.
A quiet part in his mind, hiding from Father, regretted it with every fiber of his being. The parts of his past before the tadpole, the part he was constantly arguing with, hated it. He had a second chance. A chance at freedom. And he went back, for a false promise. The Chosen he once was hated it in the most ironic way possible. But the Chosen he is now could deal with it. He was stronger now. The only thing slowing him down, was his past. All of it. The life before Bhaal, the Chosen he once was, the life with the tadpole, all of it. At least with getting rid of Astarion, he could begin getting rid of the tadpole section.
"So many bones and... so much red. Could you get any more on the nose and edgy? At least you wear your heritage like a badge of honor." Astarion scoffed. "I see any shame over your background is long gone."
To his own surprise, he responded without truly thinking his words through. "It's... not," he mumbled, unintentionally.
To further his surprise, Father didn't disapprove. No, more accurately, he didn't hear. He wasn't here to hear. Father had been beginning to leave him be for a few days every week for the past decade or so, and this seemed to be one of those times he was gone. After all, why did he need to interfere every second of the day? Mordriel was his perfect dog again. No, he was better. He didn't need the chains to act as wanted any longer. He didn't even need a command any longer. Which made his mouth betraying him and telling Astarion... that... all the more embarrassing. To think he'd say that.... Father would be ashamed of you. Bastard! Say it to his face next time!
Mordriel looked up to see a soft glint in Astarion's eyes for all of a third of a second before it disappeared as they held eye contact. "It's alive and well," he mumbled, again without wanting to. He bit his tongue as hard as he could without severing it clean off.
"Is it?" A sneer appeared on Astarion's face. "Oh, and I'm sure father dearest just loved hearing you say that, didn't he?"
Mordriel shrugged. "He would have had me skewered for it a thousand times over for it, at the least." He had the scars to prove it. "But he's not here right now."
Astarion's sneer morphed into a teeth-baring scowl. "Oh, so you're here on your own accord?"
Mordriel scoffed a bit. "Hardly."
That only served to anger Astarion more, for some reason. He stared at Mordriel with the most hatred-filled stare Mordriel had ever been looked at with before. All the more ironic it came from the man who once held his heart welcomingly captive. Truly, he still did. Making that look... hurt. Which in turn made Mordriel angry- why did he hurt over that?
After a long moment he huffed and spoke up. "Let's just get it over with. Okay? I'm done with this. I know you're trying to soften me up. I'm not giving you that satisfaction. Take your knife out- or whatever the Hells you have hidden, and fight me."
Mordriel's stomach filled with agonizing dread. He never felt dread before a kill before, and never to such a near-debilitating degree. He always enjoyed it, even. Quite a bit, actually.... But this? Killing his old lover? Really, comparing Astarion to some vague lover in the past was an insult. Astarion was better than to be called an 'old lover'. Mordriel couldn't even convince himself he liked the idea of killing him, even as he repeated it, time and time again.
Still, even as he told himself 'It'll feel good' over and over, convincing himself of it none, he said nothing to Astarion as he stripped his coat and gauntlets, hesitating little to reveal the multiple knives and vials of poisons and paralytics held on belts crossed against his body. They both kept their distance as he undressed some, and even after he was finished and Mordriel had Bloodthirst in hand there was a long pause. Mordriel waited for Astarion's move with a raised head, stared downing at Astarion with pinned eyebrows and soft eyes, full of poorly hidden guilt.
Astarion hesitated before pressing his lips together briefly and blinking a few times, gaze slightly lowered. He swallowed and looked up, any hint of sadness gone again as that cold stare returned. "There." He pulled a large dagger from underneath his own coat and stepped backwards. "I'm surprised you're waiting so patiently. Not itching for a fight?"
"No," Mordriel responded dryly.
"Funny. Not a very good murder cult leader, are you, then?"
"You're wasting breath, Astarion."
Astarion began circling, looking Mordriel up and down. "Am I?"
"Why even ask? Yes. Clearly. Save your energy for actually fighting me. The insults aren't distracting or-"
The silver blur of Astarion's dagger passed by Mordriel's face in an instant, proving maybe Astarion was distracting. But not distracting enough.
In an instant, Mordriel had leapt forward and swiped Bloodthirst across Astarion's side, drawing blood and a snarly hiss from Astarion as he made contact.
Astarion bent and lowered, holding his arm over the slash defensively. There was a half-second pause between them, with Astarion's gaze held on Mordriel as the Bhaalspawn circled, watching for Astarion's next move. As Astarion rose slightly, he kept his teeth-forward stance, giving off his next move. Just as predicted, he leapt to bite.
Easily, Mordriel shoved his forearm up against Astarion's throat and pushed him back. Only once Mordriel had the vampire pinned against the wall, did he even realize that the 'silver blur' made contact. The pain finally settled in, sharp and pulsing. It only encouraged Mordriel's bloodlust, giving him a new bout of energy.
Astarion pushed against him, but with Mordriel's strength, the new energy, and Astarion's current lack of strength likely due to the lack of diet variety, it was hardly any use at all. "Let me go!" What was effective, was when Astarion kneed him between the legs, hard.
Mordriel groaned and pulled away as pain radiated from his whole body. "Fuck!" He growled, bending over slightly as nausea crept its way into his stomach.
Just as Mordriel's gaze floated to the ground, Astarion managed to land one more successful swipe at Mordriel's cheek, this time getting deep into Mordriel's skin. Mordriel straightened up as much as he could between the nausea and the leftover pain of getting kneed in the fucking crotch, and aimed another swipe back at Astarion, just barely grazing his shoulder as the vampire took Mordriel's momentarily pain-caused distraction to transform into a bat and fly up above. Coward.... Coward!
Astarion circled overhead moment, his movements sporadic and searching like he was unsure of a place to fly to, before seemingly, he made up his mind and vanished up in the rafters.
Mordriel took the moment to compose himself. Once he could stand up straight without wincing, he wiped his cheek and then stared down at his blood-smothered palm. Got me good. Damn. If he weren't mid-fight with Astarion, and he was the one Astarion attacked, he would've complimented him on it all. But he was mid-fight with him, and he was the one Astarion attacked, so instead he settled for saying, "Get down here, Astarion." He slowly stalked in a circle around the room as he eyed the shadow-shrouded rafters, searching. He could no longer hear the air passing between wings.... Astarion was hiding. Like a coward! Coward!
The shadows were dark, but Mordriel was trained for this. ...But hyperfocused on the shadows up in the ceiling, he didn't think to look behind him and Astarion's ambush instantly took Mordriel by surprise, somehow giving the much smaller man enough of an advantage to get him pinned to the ground, and he hated being pinned. He always admired those stealthy leaps from the shadows, but this one was as admirable as it was angering. But it didn't last long, and quickly, Astarion was the one pinned. Mordriel straddled his waist to hold him down, bloodthirst already pressed to Astarion's throat before Astarion could blink. "Good hit," he scoffed out, while Astarion's hands reached up to grab at Mordriel's wrist. "Fuck you, though."
"Fuck you, too," Astarion growled, before he shifted again, this time into mist, and vanished into the dark behind Mordriel.
Mordriel growled as he rose and started searching for him. "Again? Astarion, face me!" He spun around and searched the shadows for movement, and this time he didn't leave his backside open.
A long moment of quiet passed, before finally, the distinct sound of a clicking lock sounded from upstairs and Astarion's position was revealed, completely away from where Mordriel expected him.
Mordriel followed up the stairs quietly. "Astarion, what are you doing? Face me already." Another quiet moment passed by. Mordriel followed through the hall lined with doors- all opened except for one. He reached out and turned the knob to find it surprisingly unlocked. Icy cold air crowded around his ankles, catching his attention before he could head in. Just as he looked down, fangs pressed to his neck. The instant Astarion drew blood, Mordriel elbowed him off. Easily. Was he always this easy to fight off?
"Gah- my nose!" Astarion shrieked, holding his nose with both hands as Mordriel turned and huffed at him. He tried to lunge again, but Mordriel shoved him as hard as he could, sending him flying backwards. He fell on his ass with a groan and glared up at Mordriel, already repositioning his grip on the hilt of his knife and started to lean his arm back, clearly to throw his knife. But Mordriel had the same idea, expertly pinning the sleeve of Astarion's coat and embedding Bloodthirst deep in the wall. Astarion's own knife clattered to the floor and he instantly reached under his coat again with his free hand, likely to replace his weapon with a new one. Then, his eyes widened and his body went entirely still, giving Mordriel pause. He looked utterly terrified as his gaze slowly moved up to meet Mordriel's. Do it! Kill him! Kill! He's ready to die! Do it!
Mordriel stalked forward with his head hung low, wiping blood from his cheek again. Come on. Fight me. Bleed me.
Either Astarion was too exhausted to shift again, or he just didn't think to. Or maybe, he was giving up. But Mordriel doubted it, Astarion's ability to power through Hell and survive was what had drawn him to the vampire. Even then, he looked... so pitiful. So awfully scared and worried. Those sad, round eyes once again appealed to Mordriel's guilty side. It would make him weak to look a vulnerable, ready-to-kill opponent in the eye- a opponent he needed to kill for his own psyche... and refuse to kill them.
And still, against his better judgment, he gave into the weakness. He stepped forward, pulled Bloodthirst from the wall and freed Astarion. They stared silently at each other until eventually Mordriel urged him on and held out his hand. "Astarion,” he whispered, “Stand." Nonononono! Kill! Kill!
Astarion hesitated before slowly reaching up. His hand hovered over Mordriel's for a moment before finally coming down and grabbing him, letting Mordriel pull him up. His hand- no, his whole body- was shaking violently as he gripped onto him. For all of two seconds, his eyes were gentle, devoid of all of the cold snark he had been showing all this time. "You...." He blinked, and just like that, the coldness was back. His expression shifted, the shine in his pretty, red eyes disappearing as his eyebrows knit together. "Don't drag this out, you ass. I'm... I'm not some- some mouse for you to toy with! I won't play some sadistic game with you any longer! Just... do it! I'm done! I'm done being scared! Just do it already!"
Now, he was giving up. And yet, Mordriel, for the first time ever, didn't find disgust rooting in his stomach at the idea of his opponent surrendering so easily. If anything, he only felt worse. Both for managing to quell the fire Astarion once had, and for refusing to give him what he wanted.
Mordriel stared at him for a long moment before dropping the knife. "No. I... I can't." Yesyesyes, you can! You can! But he knew he couldn't.
It was humiliating. Son of the man known for murder, scared of killing someone he promised two gods he'd kill. But he couldn't go through with that promise. Just like he broke his oath to Kelemvor, he was breaking his promise to Bhaal.
"Why?" Astarion asked, scoffing.
Mordriel swallowed. "It's... you. I can't.... I don't have the guts,” he confessed, utterly disgusted at the fact.
Astarion softened. His eyes went wide and round, giving Mordriel those precious doe eyes he adored. "It's still... you in there, isn't it?" He whispered, slowly stepping forward.
Mordriel wanted to tell him it was- or maybe even it wasn't, that he was better now- but he couldn't find the words to say either. He simply swallowed, his eyes searching Astarion's.
Astarion shortened the distance between them even further, his expression just tender as Mordriel's. "I... thought you were gone."
Mordriel let out a soft puff of air. "I...." He paused, his hand lifting slightly. "I thought you were gone, too." But you're not. You're here.
He slowly reached up and placed his hand on Astarion’s cheek. A gentle caress, barely even a touch at all. And still, it brought tears to his eyes. He refused to let them fall, but his eyes watered all the same. How did I ever think I could kill you?
Astarion raised his head, sniffling slightly. “Oh, don’t get all sappy on me now. You left me.”
Mordriel simply stepped forward and stared, suddenly realizing how relaxed he was with Astarion and how... uneasy, to say the least, he had been since taking back his spot as Chosen. And suddenly, he wasn't sure if he wanted this life anymore.
"What are you thinking?" Astarion asked after a long moment. "You've gone somewhere, haven't you?"
Mordriel said nothing at first, before eventually pulling his hand from Astarion's face and holding Bloodthirst, his prized darling dagger, out to Astarion. "Take it," he whispered.
"What?" Astarion whispered back, eyeing Bloodthirst.
"Take it," Mordriel repeated, "I don't... want it. I want you to have it."
"Your knife? Really? I thought-"
"Yes. I want you to have it."
Astarion hesitated briefly before nodding and taking the dagger. "I'm... surprised."
"I want you to keep safe, and Bloodthirst is good for that."
Astarion sucked in a shaky gasp, his eyebrows pinning. "I-" He paused, his eyes searching Mordriel's.
They both stood there for a silent moment. Still. Unblinking. Hesitant.
Then, Mordriel took another slow step forward, his hand moving even slower as he slowly started inching down Astarion's face, then his neck, then his shoulder, then under his arm and down to his side. He hesitated a bit more before slowly pulling Astarion towards him.
Astarion obliged the silent request without complaint, closing the distance in record time, burying his face in Mordriel's chest so quickly there was an audible thud.
Mordriel's arms wrapped around him, his head lowering to lean against him.
Astarion let out a deep sigh and held him tightly- painfully tightly. His fingers curled at Mordriel's shoulders, his nails digging deep through Mordriel's shirt into his skin. He let out another deep sigh, this one shakier than the first.
Mordriel gently ran his fingertips along Astarion's back in the way he used to at night to help him settle. Though right now, it seemed to settle himself just as much as Astarion. His eyes closed and he felt strangely... calm. For the first time in ages.
Astarion held him in a way he didn't realize he had needed for so long. Sceleritas' bony hands pulling his hair back out of his face had been his only comforting touch in years. This.... This was so much better. He could've stayed like that for hours, but Astarion loosened the hug after a while. A long while, sure, but not as long as Mordriel would've liked.
Seconds after Astarion's touch lightened, the unmistakable, familiar sharp poke of Bloodthirst's tip pressed against his back. Astarion had taken the moment to his advantage. His heart sank, all while he was more impressed with Astarion than ever. Silently, he waited for it to go through. And waited. And waited. But it never came.
The knife even started shaking. Mordriel felt a little less weak for hesitating, now that Astarion was doing the same. Another new, unreasonable lack of disdain. He should be angry at them both for hesitating like this. And he wasn't. Why wasn't he?
Mordriel waited, giving Astarion as many chances as possible to finally do it, before eventually reaching for Astarion's wrist and holding his hand.
The knife dropped from Astarion’s hand as Mordriel’s fingers slotted between his. "Fuck you," he whispered, pulling Mordriel into a tight hug, "F-Fuck you."
Mordriel didn't acknowledge the insult, and instead pressed his head to Astarion’s shoulder as he whispered, “I missed you.”
Astarion sniffled a bit. “I.... I hate you for putting me on the run again. In my moment of triumph, you left me and put me on the run. We were supposed to rule!"
Mordriel nodded. He said nothing, only let out a hot, shaky sigh onto Astarion’s skin.
“We were supposed to take the cult for ourselves, we- and we could have! We were so close! We could’ve had the world....” His voice wavered as his expression shifted. The put-together, cold, "above everything" persona he had been wearing up until now completely vanished. “You.... Why would you ruin that for us? We were so close...."
Mordriel started to pull away, but Astarion kept him close, only holding him tighter.
"N-No," he whispered, "You- don't.... Don't let go."
"Okay," Mordriel said softly, nodding.
-------
"Now, answer me," Astarion said, his voice raising. "Why? Why!? We could have had everything!" His voice lowered again. "Why...? Why would you choose... this... over what we could've had...?" Why would you rather kill me than love me?
"It...." Mordriel paused. "It was a mistake," he mumbled, "I thought... I could protect you. Neil. Gale. The others."
Astarion scoffed quietly. "Yeah. Sure. Protect me by leaving me and promising you'd find me one day- to kill me. Why did you think that would protect any of us?"
Mordriel shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't know.... 'Bhaal's gift', right? His blessing. His... power. I thought it would make me stronger." He scoffed a bit. "I don't know. It did, I guess. I didn't... I didn't realize it would...." He trailed off before reiterating, "I thought it would help me keep you and Neil safe."
Astarion stayed quiet for a while before pulling away slightly and asking, "Would you do it again?"
Mordriel shrugged. "If I didn't know the future? Maybe. I.... I hesitated, accepting his... gift. I should've trusted my gut, but I just figured, it was do or die. You... saw what he did to Neil. I didn't want to die and not even get the power to protect you and her."
Astarion scoffed, now pulling away fully to put his arms around himself. "You had the power, you absolute- absolute... idiot! And I didn't need more protection, I'm not helpless anymore. We killed Cazador, you helped me ascend, I was finally- finally... safe. I was powerful! I wasn't helpless for once! And you didn't need the extra power to do anything! You managed to do all of that for me, free Wyll, you.... You did it all on your own, without Bhaal and his... gift.... You already had everything you needed." You had me!
"Weren't you the one always telling me you were just waiting for the daydream to vanish, and wake up in your old hell?" Mordriel whispered after a long while. "I just wanted to be able to have the power to... make sure the dream never ended."
"Don't you dare make it sound like I made you turn to that fucked up murder god!"
Mordriel turned and raised his head. "Wasn't saying that."
Astarion could feel the Aura of Murder building up around him for a good moment, before Mordriel looked away and it disappeared.
"Anyway.... If I knew what the fuck kind of hell I'd put us all in, if I accepted his gift and took over the brain? Of fucking course I wouldn't do it again." He laid down and let out a low sigh. "I know it's been a while, but fuck. I would've thought you of all people would understand... this is not what I wanted. Especially not for you, and Neil. I didn't realize this would happen or I-" He sighed. "Or I wouldn't have... gone back."
"Yet, you still haven't even apologized for putting me in another hell!"
Mordriel softened. "I'm sorry," he whispered, looking surprisingly genuine. Astarion had expected him to get bratty, or at the very least, hesitate a little.
The unexpected genuineness had Astarion silent for a moment, just listening to the words over and over in his mind. And they didn't feel as good as he expected. They only hurt. Why did they hurt? "...Say it again," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry," Mordriel repeated.
That apology didn't feel good either. "...Again."
"I'm sorry. I'd do this all differently if I could. All of it, I swear."
Astarion stared at him for ages before letting out an exasperated groan as tears welled up in his eyes. "You bastard."
Mordriel reached up for Astarion's face before pulling away, making Astarion drag him back. Mordriel gave him a soft smile as he tugged him back, but Astarion didn't return it. "I'm glad to see you're still fiery enough to call me a bastard."
Astarion sniffled a bit. "I'd never get too sad to do that."
That only turned Mordriel's smile into a full-on grin as he chuckled.
Astarion sniffled a little more before slowly reaching up to place his hand on Mordriel's cheek.
Mordriel's eyebrows suddenly pinned together, his grin turning into a slight frown as he stared at Astarion softly.
"I.... I'm... happy to see you again," Astarion whispered after a moment.
Mordriel's eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows only moving further up and inward. "I-" He paused, nodding. "Likewise," he said softly. "I want... to have one more night with you, pretending we're both normal. Please," Mordriel whispered, "I just want to watch the sunrise with you one more time. And then... I want you to be the one to kill me. I want you to be the one to... take the kill from... him." He lowered his head. "Please." He looked so assured in his request.
Astarion looked away and let out a soft scoff to disguise his tears before some sniffling gave him away. "....You sound pathetic, Mordriel."
"I-I know. And I'm risking my last moments with you being me acting pathetic, and asking you anyways. Tell me no, and I'm gone."
Astarion instantly looked up, shaking his head. "Stay-" He cleared his throat and raised his head, patting down his shirt. "I mean... no, don't go."
Mordriel pulled him close and pressed a kiss to Astarion's forehead. "Thank you.... I just want one more sunrise with you."
"Why only one?" Astarion asked as Mordriel pulled away. "I told you I'd save you, before. Just as you saved me. You may have made this far harder than it ever had to be, by cuddling up to Bhaal once more," he scoffed, eyes narrowed, holding Mordriel's stare for a moment before he softened, gripping Mordriel's hand, "but I will save you. We'll get out of this together."
Mordriel let out a low laugh. "Gods.... Don't... say that." He looked up. "You know that can't happen. Don't... get either of our hopes up."
"Oh, don't say that. We might! At the least, why not try? Come on, where's my determined-beyond-realism beau?" His voice was teasing, but desperate. He needed to know this could all be fixed.
Mordriel paused, his eyes wide and soft. "I...." He hesitated, Astarion could see it. He wanted to try. But something stopped him. He sighed and looked down at the ground. His eyes glistened a bit before he blinked and his expression firmed. "He finally learned to be realistic, I suppose."
"Fine, then I'll be the new determined-beyond-realism one. Come on, we can make it out of this. You saved me, let me save you."
Mordriel let out a shaky sigh before straightening up. "Love.... I-I can't hear that from you. Okay? I need to... not get my hopes up. I just want to have one more nice night with you, pretending everything's okay."
Astarion sighed. "We.... Alright. Come here," he whispered.
Instantly, Mordriel stepped forward and hugged him, tightly. He buried his face into Astarion's shoulder and kissed, terribly softly. "Gods, I missed you," he whispered, "So... so much."
"Then, why did you leave?" Astarion asked as he wrapped his arms around Mordriel.
"I... had to," he mumbled, kissing him again, "I wouldn't have if I didn't have to."
"And why's that?"
Mordriel went still for a long while before softly whispering, "I would have killed you."
"Because... why? Why?"
"What's a child, born to a Lord of Murder going to do? It's not built to cuddle like this, I'll tell you that. My L-.... He would have sentenced it the second I had the brain in my control again, if I hadn't promised your death at the end of time."
"So, not killing me is just out of the question?" Astarion scoffed. "Gods...."
"I... won't kill you. I told you. I want you to kill me. But if he knew that, he'd.... He's... undeniable now. Nothing but promising to kill you eventually would quell his... intent. If he knew I was here with you- talking to you, hugging you- fuck, asking you to kill me- you wouldn't be breathing anymore. He wouldn't let that go unpunished for either of us."
"You should've never gone back to him," Astarion whispered eventually.
Mordriel pulled back enough to look Astarion in the eye and nodded. "What can I say? You're right."
"We could've had it all...." Astarion reached up, cupping Mordriel's cheek. "Gods, even without the brain and ascending- we could have been free! We could have been happy! You... you ass! We could've had luxury- we could have had a normal life for once! Without gods and masters! And you... you chose gods.... O-Over me!" He pulled his hand back and hugged himself, scoffing. "You went back to him," he whispered, sounding utterly defeated.
"Never again," Mordriel said, cupping his face. "Never again. I'm all yours, forevermore. No more gods, no more masters, no more... anything. It's just us here."
A tear rolled down Astarion's cheek before he could stop it. "Mine, forevermore?" He whispered, aching to hear it again.
Mordriel gave him a soft smile. "Forevermore," he said, nodding.
Astarion leaned in. "I'm yours forevermore."
Mordriel instantly closed the distance, pulling Astarion close and kissing him passionately. "I love you," he whispered, his fingers knitting into Astarion's curls.
Astarion smiled slightly. "I love you," he repeated softly. He kissed Mordriel again and again, starting off gentle before quickly heading into hungry territory.
Mordriel placed his free hand on Astarion's back, gently circling over his shirt as Astarion's kisses headed down to Mordriel's jaw.
"I missed you," Astarion whispered.
"I missed you too," Mordriel said, smiling down at him with warm eyes.
"And I missed this," Astarion whispered, kissing along Mordriel's jaw again, slowly making his way down to Mordriel's throat.
Mordriel chuckled.
While Astarion only got hungrier and hungrier- both literally and figuratively- Mordriel continued with his gentle touches along Astarion's back, only kissing him when Astarion would head back up to kiss Mordriel on the mouth.
Astarion moved back down to Mordriel's though and lightly bit.
Mordriel chuckled. "You may bite for real, if you'd like."
And so he did, happily. Blood instantly gushed into his mouth, filling his stomach as much as his soul. Thinking creature's blood always tastes nice, but Bhaalspawn blood was an entirely different thing. Divine. Quite literally, in fact. It was energizing and soothing, and always left Astarion with a pleasant buzzed feeling. Or, if he ate too much, an incredibly drunk feeling.
Like every time before, Mordriel let him drink until he was done. By the amount of blood Mordriel could share, he must've been feeding well, unlike Astarion. At least for tonight, he could eat well.
As Astarion pulled away, he dived for another kiss, one Mordriel happily opened his mouth for. He licked at the blood in Astarion's mouth, only furthering the fire.
Astarion moaned, pulling Mordriel closer.
Mordriel sighed deeply and pressed his forehead to Astarion's, before Astarion pulled him back into another kiss. He moved his hands to Astarion's waist and smiled up at him as he pulled away to speak.
"One more time?" Astarion whispered, looking up at him, "Will you sleep with me?"
Mordriel gave him a soft grin, happily obliging him. "I would be happy to, my love." He gently lifted Astarion up and placed him beside him before helping work off his shirt and letting Astarion deal with his own pants. Slowly, he made his way on top of Astarion, placing gentle kiss after gentle kiss along Astarion's body.
It was passionate, but passionate like a lover writing flowery euphemisms and metaphors to their beau across the world. Sensual, but not intense. It was worship-like, even, in the way Mordriel kissed and brought attention to every little detail of Astarion, completely at Astarion's neck and call.
Afterwards, Astarion laid his head down on Mordriel's chest and let out a deep sigh.
Mordriel put his arm around him in return, tangling his fingers in Astarion's curls.
They laid there in a comfortable silence for a long while, listening to the crickets and studying the stars. For such an odd night of fighting lovers from decades ago, it was peaceful. More peaceful than any of the nights Astarion had had alone. And with the biggest and baddest thing around sleeping underneath him, he wasn't so anxious. It gave him time to finally think. At first his mind reflected their surroundings and his thoughts were soft and peaceful. But eventually, like always, they circled back to worry.
"Bound for life," Astarion mumbled. "I thought when I bit you, that meant... more time."
“You’re so smart, but gods was it a stupid mistake to make me your consort.”
“Was it? I thought you wanted to be with me forever.”
Mordriel shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. Of course I did. I still do. I meant... you should’ve made me your... ugh, spawn.” He let out a shaky sigh. “You could’ve. You should’ve.”
“Maybe. But I didn’t.”
“Why not? I wouldn’t have realized the difference at first. I didn’t even think about what you were doing when you turned me, just let you do whatever because I wanted to be with you. You could’ve made me your spawn, and I wouldn’t have even realized. Not until Bhaal gave me an order that you refused.”
Astarion looked up, eyes narrowed. “Oh, so this is my fault?” He scoffed. “I told you you’d never be free. You turned to look at me when we were at the temple and I shook my head! You looked to me for confirmation and I said no! I did my part! I tried! This isn't my damn fault!"
Mordriel lowered his head and ran his thumb over Astarion's knuckles. “That’s not what I meant either. I’m.... I don’t know what I’m saying.” He let out a heavy sigh before saying, "Let's not argue. It's a nice night. We're here together. This is everything I could've dreamt up and more."
Astarion nodded. "True.... This is nice. I'll keep civil for tonight." He laid his head back down and splayed his fingers, watching Mordriel circle over each knuckle. "That feels as nice as it used to."
"I was hoping it would."
They spent the next four or so hours cuddling together and talking. It was so strangely peaceful, it didn't feel like anything that had happened in the past few decades had truly happened. It didn't feel like they had been apart for any time, it didn't feel like the world was actively on fire, everything was so... calm. Until now.
They had just gone quiet as they both noticed the black sky beginning to turn reddish over the horizon, when Mordriel reached over and intertwined their fingers. "Sun's rising," he said, his voice was so soft- so happy.
While Astarion was ruined. He let out a choked sob, shaking his head. "Don't- don't say that with a smile," he whispered.
Mordriel then chuckled. Chuckled! "Hard not to, my love."
Astarion looked up. "And why's that?" He growled, voice bitter. "You're- you're choosing to die over the idea of us fixing everything. At the very least living a little longer! How are you smiling?"
Mordriel ran his thumb over Astarion's knuckles, tilting his thumb in a way his claw wouldn't scratch him. "Watching the sunrise with you is romantic, isn't it?"
Astarion scoffed and fixed his gaze on the ground, where tear after tear dropped. "'S fucking heartbreaking, and you're... smiling...."
"Well, I haven't been more at peace in years," Mordriel said. Astarion could just barely see Mordriel lift his head towards the sky in his teary peripheral. "Besides," he started, squeezing Astarion's hand, "We still have some more time. You used to love watching the sunrise with me. Will you sit with me and watch it one more time?"
Astarion was quiet for a bit, before finally, he sniffled, wiped his face, and nodded. "One more time," he whispered.
Together, they watched the sky morph from black to blue to red to orange and back to blue. And as Astarion realized the sun was fully risen, the world was completely silent. No wind, no birds, no crickets, nothing.
Astarion stayed completely still and silent, praying Mordriel would forget about it if he just blended in well enough. Of course, it didn't work, but he had hoped it might.
Instead of sitting there with him and living another day, Mordriel rose to his feet and gathered Stillmaker and all the vials he had taken with him.
"Why- why are we doing this?" Astarion whispered, his eyes wide, trained on the knife as Mordriel slicked the dagger with a bit of everything he took with him. "Why can't we figure this out together? I know we can."
Mordriel sighed. "It doesn't... work like that. If we... could, I would. But...," he offered the knife to Astarion hilt-first. "I don't... think we can, and I won't get your hopes up. I won't make promises I can't be certain I'll keep. Not to you."
Astarion scoffed. "So, you're- you're giving up?"
Mordriel gave him a soft smile. "In the next life, maybe we'll find each other, my love."
"We will," Astarion said firmly. "We will. And next time, we'll do it right. Okay? Next time, we'll- we'll live together forever."
Mordriel's smile widened as he nodded. "That's the spirit, my love. I'll see you in the next life, and that time, we will live forever. I promise."
"Promise," Astarion repeated to himself before saying, "Make an oath with me first."
"What?" Mordriel asked, tilting his head.
"Make an oath with me," he repeated, straightening his back. "I want to be certain we'll find each other again."
"Very well. A blood oath?"
"Yes," Astarion said, pulling Bloodthirst out.
Mordriel nodded and held out his palm.
Astarion first cut his own and then Mordriel's. Then, he grabbed Mordriel's hand and squeezed, wincing slightly. "G-Gods, that hurts."
Mordriel chuckled softly.
"Okay, okay," Astarion mumbled to himself. "I, Astarion Anćunin, bound us by blood and oath to find each other in the next life. ....Is that how these work?"
Mordriel chuckled again before nodding. "These? Yes."
To prove his point, their palms started glowing bright red. As the magic dispersed and dissipated, a feeling of connection lingered in the air, like they were still tied together.
"Now, come on, my love," Mordriel said softly, "The longer we put this off, the less you'll want to do it."
"I don't want to do it."
"Exactly. Now think of how hard it'll be in the next hour, if you don't do it now."
Astarion put his arms around himself, staying silent as he stared at Mordriel with an utterly heartbroken look.
Mordriel leaned in, head tilted. "I love you."
The tears returned. "I-I love you more," he mumbled, reaching out and placing his hand on Mordriel's back.
Mordriel closed the distance between them completely, hugging Astarion tightly as he pressed his lips to Astarion’s as lightly as can be.
"Kiss me like you mean it, you bastard," Astarion grumbled.
Mordriel chuckled a bit before kissing him again, this time deeper. "I love you," he whispered, the smile in his tone gone, now full of mourning. "I'm sorry I put all of this on you, my love." He kissed Astarion again before he could speak. "I wouldn't have done any of this if I knew what was to come." He ran his thumb over Astarion's cheek, finally opening his eyes to stare into Astarion's.
"I love you," Astarion whispered eventually. He gripped Mordriel tightly, leaning up to press his lips to Mordriel's again, and again, and again until finally he pulled back, just enough to speak. "I don't want to hurt you, Mordriel...."
"Come on, you're not angry?" Mordriel asked, giving him a wavering smile. "Think of how I put you on the run. Think of... everything I do you don't like. It'll feel good to get it all out."
Astarion shook his head. "N-No. No, it won't. I can't- I can't do this."
Mordriel pressed his forehead to Astarion's. "Yes, you can. Please.... I want you to be the one to do it. Please. We'll meet again in the future, right, love?"
"O-Of course we will."
"Then, you can do this." Mordriel let out a long sigh. "I know you can. I can help you."
Astarion hesitated a long while before nodding. "O-Okay, yes."
Mordriel nodded with him. He slowly leaned in and tilted his head.
With one last, grieving, tearful kiss, Astarion let Mordriel guide the knife a few inches backwards before plunging right into Mordriel's abdomen.
Mordriel let out a stuttered groan, gripping Astarion's arm tightly. He made hardly any sound at all, despite having a knife inside his abdomen.
"I'm sorry," Astarion whispered, tears rolling down his face as he urge the dagger dorward. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry- I'm so, so, so sorry!"
Mordriel shook his head. "No- no, I want- I'm happy," he said. Once again, he hardly acted like he was just stabbed at all. It was so strangely unexpected that Astarion's tears nearly stopped out of pure surprise. Nearly.
"I- I don't understand," Astarion whispered after a moment, wiping tears from his ear to clear his vision. They were instantly replaced, once again crowding his vision. "How are you- how are you happy!? I just stabbed you!"
Mordriel looked up, placing his hand on Astarion's cheek, his thumb gently caressing the skin. "I'm...." He trailed off, smiling. "That was even sweeter than I... dreamt," he whispered. He let out another hitched groan before mumbling, "I'm... glad it was you, and n-not... him. I'll see you... in the next life, my love," Mordriel whispered.
Like Mordriel always wanted, he died in Astarion's arms. It was horrific and scary and devastating and comforting, all at the same time. It was overwhelmingly contradictory and hurt so badly he was certain he was going to throw up multiple times.
He stayed sitting on the ground with him for ages before finally digging a hole and burying him. Even after he buried him, he couldn't bear to leave for hours. He just sat there next to the raised dirt, sobbing uncontrollably. He was always so worried of letting others close in the case that they betrayed him, but... this... was so much worse. Nothing could compare to this. Astarion's heart was broken, his soul crushed, his whole entire life was falling apart. He thought he'd be relieved if he won the inevitable fight against Mordriel, but this wasn't relieving. This was anything but.
How was he supposed to live on after this? He almost would've preferred Mordriel to have killed him, to... this. Having to go on without the one person who had ever brought him any comfort, who had ever truly loved and cared for him, and having to live in a world so drastically worse than he had lived in one a few decades ago? But he'd do it. He knew he could, and he would. He'd find a way to fix this. He'd fix the world, and in time, Mordriel would return to him.
By the time he finally rose to his feet, his body ached and he didn't have a single rear left to cry. But most importantly, he decided if Mordriel could not, he would fix this all. He didn't want to live in a world like this anymore, but that didn't mean he didn't want to live. And he certainly wasn't going to give up in the slightest. Not now. He had worked so hard to get to this point, he could turn the tables into his favor once again, he was sure. And eventually, in Mordriel's favor, when he returned. But for now, he was going to fix this all for himself. Live for himself. He deserved that, after two hundred years of pure shit. After two hundred years of living for Cazador's wishes and then another four decades of just trying to survive, he deserved to finally do what he wanted. Though... perhaps some of his plans could change.
Dominating the brain was... a plan he was... uncertain of now. Without a master, the brain would surely resurge into its power. This time, he had more confidence. He knew he could kill it- he could have easily before, if he had just done it instead of letting the idea of owning everything get to him- and it would be even weaker now. Though, he should start simple. Getting rid of the gnolls would be a good start. Then the mind flayers. Find the survivors and build an army to defeat the Absolute’s own army. The remaining population in hiding would need a savior, and he would be happy to offer himself up in that position.... Then, when everything’s in place, the brain.
And this time, he was putting it in the ground.