Chapter Text
A dark, messy-haired girl curled into a ball on the train. She was alone for the most part except for the few scattered travellers joining her on the train. She felt the vibrations of the train passing over various rails as she sat and tapped at her phone. Her parents had bought it new as a final gift before she left home. She kept one earphone out, listening for the announcements as she listened to the new Risette album.
Tokyo, a criminal record, a new life.
The ideas were almost foreign to her; she had spent all of her life up to that point under her parents thumb, making sure to never make even the slightest mistake, but now she was free. She almost smiled to herself. No more regrets, no more masks. Not even the ones society imposed on her.
Amamiya Ren was the name she had chosen. Partly to protect the Kurusu family legacy, partially to inspire her to pursue her dreams no matter what the world wanted for her. Ren curled a hair in front of her face as she looked at her phone.
“Weird ass app.” She muttered to herself, dragging the eyeball to the trash.
She tried to recall the day that she had been arrested; she knew that it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to recall; the doctor she’d seen said it might have traumatised her. She couldn’t remember a face, but she knew he was important; there was no trial after all. Just a testimony. His word against a freak’s. She didn’t know how he’d dug up that she was trans, but he used it to tear her down and threaten her family, telling them that he’d expose her as their son. As much as Ren told the judge that she had witnessed him openly trying to assault her, the moment her identity was revealed to them, it was over. And the woman... She saw her in the hall of the courthouse, and she couldn’t even look at Ren in the eyes; she’d betrayed her. She said that Ren had attacked the man without provocation. She didn’t know if it was money or more threats, but she lied, and Ren was sent to Tokyo for the year. Probation, she was lucky for that. She couldn’t imagine what would happen if she was jailed for it. Her parents cried when she left, but she knew deep down that they’d be happier when she was gone. Freed of a burden.
“Yongen-Jaya station, Yongen-Jaya,” as if saving her from more awful thoughts, the intercom blared the station she had been listening out for.
She stepped off the train into the subway station; she held her bag close as she walked through the winding streets of Yongen. It looked like a nice area. A picturesque coffee shop, a flower store, a small general wares shop, and a tiny hospital littered the streets. It seemed homey; Ren could see herself living here for the rest of her life. It just felt right. She shook her head free of those thoughts for now.
Apparently, her parents had found a man called Sakura Sojiro to take her in. A man she had never met and didn’t even know she could trust. A million questions had rushed through her head when she had been told where she would be living for the next year: would he accept her identity? Would he allow her to continue taking her hormones? She quickly threw those thoughts out of her mind and back to the task at hand, finding Sakura’s home. She studied the note that her parents gave her. No address. Typical. She walked into the small hospital building, and she couldn’t see anybody at the front desk. Just a small sign that said “out for coffee,” she shrugged and took her leave, walking past a dark-haired woman. After a little more exploration with rather fruitless results, she went into the backstreets and found a small house with the nameplate saying Sakura. Perfect. She spotted a delivery driver outside of the door. Ren walked up to him and waved her hand halfheartedly to get the man’s attention.
“You having trouble?” Ren asked with her best smile, though she was somewhat uncomfortable talking to a stranger like this.
“You are a helpful young lady! But I’m okay; Sakura-san is usually at his shop around this time. I’m gonna deliver the other packages and then make my way there with his package,” the delivery driver said as he was walking away to his truck.
Ren smiled, both proud of herself for finding where she needed to go and happy that she was gendered correctly. Then heard a window above slam closed. She stood confused for a moment but returned to her task.
As she was walking down the street to the only cafe in Yongen, Cafe Leblanc, Ren was thinking about what kind of person Sakura-San could be. She hoped he was kind—at least kinder than her parents. They never truly accepted her, only letting her be herself so that they could cut all ties with her. Her fingers found their way back into her hair as she continued walking through the streets before she felt a piece of cold metal make contact with her knees and push her back a little.
“Excuse me...” A small voice called from below. As Ren looked down, she saw a red-haired girl in a wheelchair. She seemed to struggle to push herself forward but smiled either way.
“Oh. Sorry. I was in my own world.” Ren smiled. “Do you live nearby?”
“Oh no, I just was at physical therapy.” She pointed to her legs, “Still no feeling.” She sighed and looked down dejectedly.
“Do you need a hand?” Ren asked without thinking, “J-just doesn’t seem like the easiest thing to pull yourself around.”
“Oh… I’d appreciate it actually.” The girl smiled a little as Ren helped her to the station, where a red-haired girl that looked exactly like the wheelchair-bound girl and a man awaited her.
“Oh Kasumi, did you need some help? Why didn’t you call?” The man, clearly her father, asked.
“I uh… didn’t want you to worry. Sorry papa.” Kasumi replied.
“Thank you for helping Kasumi; my name is Yoshizawa Shinichi. It’s very nice to meet you.” Shinichi turned to her and shook her hand. “I haven’t seen you before, young lady. Are you local?”
"I'm, uh, just moving in today.” She tried to force a polite smile.
"Well, I hope this place treats you well.” Shinichi replied and tended to his two daughters.
Ren saw a blue butterfly with a broken wing fly weakly past her as she left the train station. Suddenly, a voice echoed through her mind
"I am thou, thou art I... Thou hst aqued a nw ow.
It shll bcme the wgs of reblln tt breakth ty chn of capt ity.
Wih the bi of the Seeker arcana, yo hav obtai te wid o bsing tht shl lad t eedom a nw per..."
What was that feeling in her head? It was so clear and then so fractured. She tried to recall the words she had heard. The Seeker arcana... tarot cards? Why did her head hurt so much trying to recall what she heard? She realised the time and quickly ran towards the Leblanc coffee, trying to take her mind off that thought.
As she reached the door, she took a deep breath. This was the moment she dreaded every time. First impressions. She pushed the door, and it swung open in front of her. As she walked through, she was hit with a strong mixture of scents. Curry and coffee... she was suddenly reminded that she had only really had a small breakfast before she got on the train. There was a couple sat in a booth. The man went to take a sip of his coffee just to find that there was nothing left. He sighed, and he and his wife stood up and thanked the man at the bar. She moved out of the way of the door and smiled towards the couple as they left.
“Four hours for a single cup of joe.” The man sighed as he stood up from his seat. He noticed the girl who walked through the door and seemed to be studying her. “So you’re her? Ren?” He tried to give her a reassuring smile, perhaps realising how nervous she was.
She bowed skittishly. “Please take care of me,” she said, trying to be polite.
“Uh huh… You’re under my care for the next year. I understand your uh social issues, and I understand that you’re trans. I’m not gonna treat you differently because of it. I’m gonna take care of you the best I can, and I expect you to give this probation and this new life in Tokyo your best shot.” He seemed gruff, but he seemed like he meant every word he said.
“Yes, yes, sir.” She replied, reminding herself what her parents told her—make yourself scarce. You don’t want him to lose patience with you.
“None of that sir crap.I’m Sojiro; people call me Boss. I’m your guardian for the next year, not your drill sergeant.” He breathed and then continued, “Your parents sent you here because of your probation; they knew me through a friend of a friend and know I have experience with autistic kids. They gave me a good sum of money for looking after you too.” He smirked, and Ren let out a half chuckle, and when his demeanour changed, she stopped. “I know it’s not the best ever; the only spot I have for you is in the attic. You’re gonna have to clean up a bit. I used it as more of a storage space and didn’t really have time to clean it. Short notice and all, thank the courts for that. Your clothes are upstairs. We’ll get your uniform tomorrow. I’ll make sure it’s the right one, and I’ll be driving you there so you won’t have to use Tokyo’s train system.” Sojiro beckoned her as he walked towards the stairs that led to the attic of the cafe.
She followed behind him up the stairs and saw what was to be her room the next year. It was like Sojiro had described; it looked... lived in. There were cobwebs, a few boxes, a ladder, and a box of her clothes.
“It looks great. Thank you, Boss, I’ll get to cleaning.” She smiled as politely as she could. “Stay on his good side; don’t annoy him. You need to stay here.” A voice in her head nervously repeated as she started moving to clean, not realising the loud grumbling noise that came from her stomach.
“Have you eaten?” Sojiro asked as he walked to the stairs.
“What?” Ren asked as if he were speaking a foreign language.
“Have you eaten much today?” Sojiro repeated.
“No, not really.” She replied.
“Ah, cleaning can wait. I’ll go get you some curry.” Sojiro smiled.
Ren stood shocked for a moment before following him down the stairs. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be an inconvenience.” She asked, confused.
“Of course I’m sure, kid, you shouldn’t clean on an empty stomach.” He smiled, “Try to eat quickly though. A few regulars will be coming through soon.”
He placed a plate of curry in front of her. It genuinely looked like heaven on a plate. She had been able to smell it since she’d arrived, and now she had a chance to try it. She said a silent prayer to the gods of sensory issues that it would go over well as she took her first bite. It was spicy in the way that she liked, the rice was perfectly cooked, and the meat was tender in her mouth. Her parents would never cook her something like this. She couldn’t help but smile as she finished her first bite.
“Boss, this is so perfect!” Her smile grew wider, and she started eating with fervour.
Sojiro smiled, placing a glass of water beside her, and walked to the kitchen of the cafe. “Glad you like it, kiddo. It’s all I can really make.” He chuckled, “I don’t know what you were saying about being an inconvenience, but you need to eat. As long as you live under my roof, you won’t go without food, got it?”
“Yes boss.” She tried a reassuring smile before going back to her food. When she had finished devouring her food and politely thanking Sojiro, she turned to grab the cleaning supplies from the small bathroom and got to work.
It took her around 2 hours to make the attic space liveable for herself. She found a plant that looked on the verge of death, a bookcase with a few cookbooks, and a lot of cooking supplies. Eventually Sojiro came upstairs and smiled towards her.
“I heard some noise up here, I thought you were just pacing around, but you actually did it! Nice job, kid." Sojiro looked around the room, almost surprised. The sudden praise caught Ren off guard, making her almost flinch, but she stopped herself. She waited for him to stop being so kind; adults weren’t usually this kind to her outside of Tatsumi-Sensei. There had to be a catch here.
“Is there anything more you need me to do?” Ren asked, desperate to stay on his good side.
“Right, I have this journal for you. You need to keep up with this every day for your probation. I can’t believe they made it out like you were some problem child. You may have made a mistake, but you seem to be fine, a good kid.” He smiled reassuringly.
“My parents?” She instantly replied, “What did they say?”
“Yeah, they told me in some... unkind terms about you being trans. That you almost ruined them by doing what you did.” He seemed somewhere between sad and angry. Ren couldn’t place it.
Her fists balled up, and she could feel herself growing angrier and angrier. She took a deep breath and tried to keep herself calm, keep herself from going into a meltdown.
“I’m sorry, kiddo. I- for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re still here, and I’m glad you’re here.” Sojiro continued, “Do you need space?”
The words wouldn’t come. The stress and the anger overwhelmed her. She tried to raise her hands to weakly sign "yes,” but she couldn’t even bring herself to do that. She nodded.
“Alright kiddo.” He quickly scribbled a number onto a piece of paper: “I trust you, but if you need me, call okay? There’s a phone downstairs if you need it, and you can use your own phone. Goodnight.”
She signed “goodnight” weakly. Sojiro placed the note on the table. She listened to every single footstep as he walked through the downstairs area of Leblanc. She lay on the bed, staring at the floor, expecting it to fall out from underneath her. Her head became heavy. Until finally the door of Leblanc locked as Sojiro left. Ren looked up to the roof. She realised it at that moment. She was well and truly alone. Just like that night.
That night a few months ago. She was walking home from school alone. Wearing her Yasogami High blazer, her teacher Tatsumi-Sensei had kept her after hours so that she could talk with him about the LGBT club that he and his friends had formed when they were in high school. At some points he had slipped up and called it something else... an Investigation Club, they didn’t have a club like that at Yasogami High, another weird secret that Tatsumi-Sensei had. She let the thought go. He was trying to help her fill in the papers to join the club after school and finish her homework; they had filled it out, and as if on schedule, his husband came to see him. Ren recognised him from somewhere, but he couldn’t place it. Apparently Sensei’s husband worked for child protective services, and he definitely looked tired. Ren quietly let herself out after quickly introducing herself to Shirogane-San. That was where the best of her day ended. The rest was a blur. A few sporadic memories.
A woman being hurt. Ren pulled the man hurting her off and he fell to floor.
“Damn brat, I’ll sue.”
Cold metal on her wrists restraining her in the back of a car.
“Akira, why do you do this to us?”
She was pulled back to the present by a sudden pain in her chest. She started focussing on her breath and reached into her jean pocket to grab a cube that she spun in her hand.
She was safe.
She was okay.
They couldn’t hurt her anymore.
Sojiro was one call away.
She flailed as she lay there, trying to work through the panic. Her pillow flew across the room, hitting a wall and falling down the stairs. She listened as it flopped down each step, finding her breath between them. She let herself calm down.
She was in Leblanc.
Her parents were far away.
That man was far away.
Sojiro was kind. He respected her. At least...she thinks so...
The shaking stopped. She could move again. She walked to go and grab the pillow she had flung and found a cookbook that had been dislodged from the bookshelf when the pillow was thrown. She picked it up and decided to read it. Tatsumi-Sensei had told her that reading was a good grounding technique.
After an hour or so of reading a cookbook (she didn’t learn much, but the pictures were nice), she laid down in her bed.
She checked her phone. That app had appeared with a red eye. Was she being hacked? Cyberstalked? Were her parents trying to keep an eye on her?
She deleted it, and suddenly her eyes began to feel heavy. The panic attack must have tired her out.
It wasn’t the most comfortable place she had slept, but it was better than home. She grabbed her plush out of the boxes that Sojiro had laid out, filled to the brim with her supplies. Ready for a full night of sleep.
She heard a bell, and she woke up quickly as if she had just been jolted full of energy.
Why was she back in jail?
No. Why the fuck was she back in jail?
Why was a woman singing? Why did she suddenly feel relaxed? No wait, she needed to get out of here.
There were two girls standing at either side of her cell in what looked like weird prison warden cosplays, one of them even having a baton. She grabbed the bars to pull them apart; this was a dream, right? She could do that. If this was a dream she could do anything. The girl with the baton hit the bars, almost grazing Ren’s hand, and Ren threw herself back.
“ Quiet down and listen well to our master, Inmate!” The girl shouted.
Master? She looked around the room; it was a prison. She was seemingly the only person there, but as the darkness cleared, she could see more clearly that sitting at a desk was a man. He had bulging eyes, a long nose, and pointy ears. His appearance was nightmare fuel, to say the least. He smiled widely, and his eyes grew wide as they locked eyes briefly.
“Trickster, welcome to my Velvet Room.” The man smirked as if he just told a particularly funny joke: “My name is Igor. I am delighted to make your acquaintance. This place exists between dream and reality, mind and matter. It is a room only those bound by a contract can enter. I am the master of this place. Remember my name well.”
“This is just a dream; this is just a dream.” Ren repeated to herself rhythmically, hoping that she would wake up safely in her bed in LeBlanc.
“That was the way we chose to contact you, yes. This world reflects the state of your heart. You truly are a prisoner of fate. In the near future, there is no mistake that ruin awaits you.” Igor chuckled.
“You gotta be kidding me. Is this a prank?” She growled
“Worry not, there is a means to oppose this fate if you would like. You would have to be rehabilitated towards freedom. This is how you will avoid ruin. Do you have the strength to challenge the distortion of the world?” Igor smirked again.
"Yeah, I think I’d rather avoid ruin. Rather avoid jail cells too, but you don’t give me much of a choice, do you?” Ren grimaced.
“Inmate!!!” The girl with the baton shouted again and Ren put her hands up in defeat.
“You chose the state of this room, not me. Now, allow me to observe the path of your rehabilitation. Now, the others. To your right is Caroline, and to your left, Justine.” Igor stated.
“The violent one is Caroline, and the quiet one is Justine.” Ren made a mental note.
“We are your wardens, but we are also your collaborators.” Justine explained
“If you stay obedient.” Caroline finished.
“It seems you have already experienced part of the strength that will be fostered through our contract just today.” The mysterious man smiled, with a hint of pride or was it rage?
“Maybe you can tell me what that power is rather than speaking in goddamn riddles.” Ren replied, already annoyed with the person. Was Igor a person?
“The night is waning, dear girl I cannot explain further now. But another time perhaps we will speak further on this topic and the topic of the skills of your wardens that will benefit you. Rest well now.” Igor smiled, and the bell rang again.
Ren fell back into the bed behind her falling instantly into a deep almost magical slumber.
She awoke to find herself back in Leblanc, back in her room. Safe from the prison. Maybe it wasn’t real. She looked around and saw the clock mounted on the wall. Seven o’clock. Sojiro seemed to be cooking downstairs and so she got dressed into the clothes her parents had sent, a pair of jeans and a Featherman tee with an ill-fitting blazer and started her day.