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Clutching on to his hand tightly, he tried to smile. His face refused to comply as he struggled to catch his breath. In the light from the candle, her beauty did not escape him, even through his exhaustion. Her hair, for once, was in utter disarray. Curly, soft tendrils escaped her braid and his tired eyes refused to move from the sight of them. A lump formed at the back of his throat, making it feel even tighter than before. Swallowing deeply, he closed his eyes, blocking out the sight. As much as he cared for his beautiful wife, he longed for someone else. Someone who had stolen his heart long before Elizabeth ever had....
Edward's heart quickened at the thought and for the first time in his life, he admitted to himself the extent of his feelings. The exact moment everything had changed, he didn't know but they had. William Hastings had become almost like breath to his lungs, he needed him near him. Whenever his friend left his side, Edward would instantly yearn for him. Blocking it out with pails of wine and hordes of women, he'd ignored his feelings for as long as he could.
As if reading his master's mind, Will came into the room, his boots thudding quietly on the cold floor. His eyes instantly found his king. Drenched in sweat and breathing deeply, he looked a pitiful sight. A sudden desire to cry came to him. He didn't care about the Queen's presence as he barely even noticed her. As always, Edward was his focus. It was for Edward he woke up for in a morning and also his last thought before he'd fall into a drunken sleep. Ignoring the queen's unhappiness, he took a seat on the edge of his master's bed. He wanted to take his hand, like Elizabeth but he lacked the courage. Would Edward like if he did that? He didn't quite know.
"Edward, don't leave me." Elizabeth whispered to her now unconscious husband, as she fought her own tears. It sounded it she was pleading with him. Will wanted to block them out. He wanted to block everything out. Especially, that woman. Even now, as his love lay dying, his jealousy for the woman opposite him was strong.
How many years had he wasted on that selfish, manipulative bitch? Too many, he decided, bitterly, wanting to break her pretty little neck where she sat. His venom should have made him feel guilty but he couldn't feel even one ounce of guilt. It was all so unbelievably unfair. Slowly, Elizabeth's composure broke and delicate little sniffs filled the room. The sound grated on his nerves, even though he tried to tolerate it. After all, she was queen. When she began to sob loudly, he couldn't but snap at her.
"Shut up. Stop your bleating, woman. He's not dead yet!" He roared to her, the desire to take his temper out on her almost getting the better of him. Her mouth hung open, her shock obvious at his words.
Her tears dried almost instantly as she blinked at him. She had no idea what on earth to say to him. She could scold him, punish him for speaking to her like that but her words failed her. Something stopped her. Something she had never noticed before. Something that left her breathless. Instead of seeing anger as she expected, she saw love. It was mixed with hurt but still, love was present. Apart of her wanted to comfort him, to help him, even though he had offered her no such relief. Returning her gaze to her husband, Elizabeth suddenly felt the need to leave. It was as if her presence was no longer needed....
Rising stiffly, blinking as she did, she left the men alone. Tears, more for herself than Edward, streamed noisily down her face.
As he continued to gaze at the man he'd always loved, his heart felt heavy in his chest. He wanted to cry, scream, to let everyone know he was hurting too. Hurting. The thought brought a rueful smile to his tired face. He'd never hurt so much in his life and he knew it was going to get worse. He'd rather face Towton all over again than losing Edward. Shuffling closer to him, he quickly took his hand, ignoring his uncertainty.
"I love you. I always have. I shouldn't but I do...." He blurted, his mouth moving without him realising it. His heart almost stopped completely in his chest and he waited for a response from Edward. Despite his unconscious state, Will desperately wanted a response from him. After all the years of keeping quiet, he'd finally revealed his feelings. The sound of Elizabeth's footsteps as she re-entered the room stopped his thoughts in their tracks.
Elizabeth's bloodshot eyes unsettled him. It made him want to cry even more. Almost running from the room, he knew what he had to do. Block it all out in a way Edward would approve of. Wine. Lots of it!