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Eddie's plans for the weekend were simple or they were reduced to simple when Buck told him he had plans with Tommy so he couldn't hang out. Eddie isn't sulking. He's not. 

He just got used to having Buck around, especially with Christopher gone. Buck was just...there. 

He would wake up in the morning and Buck would be in the kitchen preparing breakfast with his usual banter and the ease of his shoulder as if he belonged. 

Eddie would stop in front of Christopher's room and just stand there forgetting the surrounding world and Buck would gently steer him towards his bedroom. 

Eddie would wake up in the middle of the night with hot and heavy tears stinging his eyes and the stubborn urge to keep them trapped just behind his lids  and Buck would be there, kneeling beside his bed with a warm hand on his shoulder and soft whispers on his lips. 

Eddie would growl at someone at a scene and Buck would be there, inserting himself between Eddie and the bystander. 

Eddie would lock himself in his bedroom and Buck would be there, sitting outside with a loud and cheery voice to keep them both afloat. 

Eddie would yell and scream at him to be left alone and Buck would still be there with bloodshot eyes that were just so full of determination along with so much sadness that Eddie would just press his forehead into his shoulder and let himself cry for a few minutes. 

Buck was just there and suddenly he wasn't anymore and Eddie's brain couldn't process that.

Between missing his son, pretending to be fine, relying on Buck more than ever he started to think that he could be selfish with this. With Buck . He wanted to be selfish because he had nothing to lose now. Christopher was gone but Buck was here so Eddie selfishly wanted to keep him. 

The first time Buck decided to go out without informing him Eddie almost ripped down the walls in his house. 

In his panic, he thought Buck left him for good just like Christopher and Buck had walked in on him sitting in front of an open and ransacked closet. Buck knelt beside him carefully, his brows pinched when he saw Eddie clutching onto a shirt. 

He recognized the shirt. It was his shirt. He could make out ‘Bu’ in bold where Eddie's hands were curled around it in a desperate hold. 

“Eddie?”

“I thought you left. I...your clothes were still here. I thought you left, Buck. You left, Buck.”

He didn't mean to sound accusing but that’s exactly how he felt. He turned a heated glare in Buck’s direction. He was aware that rationally Buck owed him nothing. He wasn't Buck’s responsibility but right now rationality was at the far end of his mind. Wide blue eyes filled with guilt swam into his vision. Hesitant hands reached out as Buck settled beside him, keeping some distance between them that was personally offending Eddie. He scoffed before turning his gaze back to the shirt.

“You were gone,” He elaborated, like a petulant child.

“Eddie…I…you were asleep. You barely sleep. I didn't…”

“I know. I…I feel miserable and what’s worse is I am making you miserable.”

Buck haphazardly grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into his arms. Eddie couldn’t see his wide and shocked eyes from where his face was pressed into Buck’s chest but Buck could sure as hell feel his sobs and the way his body shook with each one.

“I don’t want to be alone, Buck. I am so scared. I…not you…not you, please. Just…not you .”

“Eddie…Eddie, I’m here. I’m here . I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie refused to let him out of his sight after that incident and he deflected Frank’s barely there disappointment when he told him about it. What does this emotional dependency on Buck mean for you, Eddie?”

Eddie couldn’t answer him then in his office and he couldn’t answer himself right in his bedroom, as Buck slept just down the hallway on his too small and too uncomfortable couch. 

Suddenly, Eddie couldn’t breathe. He could barely see straight with his blurry vision as he tripped over his own feet to stumble out of the room. It was like all the air was sucked out of the room and all the blood in his body was freezing. 

He barely made it to the couch before kneeling over hands clutching onto the too old rug. He raised his head and Buck was right there. The rise and fall of his chest indicated that he was sleeping. 

Eddie wanted to grab him and bury himself just between his clavicles if Buck could just make some space for him there, preferably closer to the heart so Eddie could hear the steady thump thump thump .

He felt his lungs inhale and exhale in time with the imaginary heartbeat. Buck was still asleep, an arm loosely draped over his face to prevent the hallway lights from irritating his eyes. 

Eddie left it on for Chris and Buck never bothered to turn it off because Eddie was reminded of Christopher being gone every time he saw that one light turned off in the middle of the night.

He slumped beside the couch with his head partially resting on the couch near Buck’s side. He could feel Buck’s body heat radiating through the thin fabric of his shirt and he couldn’t help grasping the soft fabric between his trembling fingers. Buck was here. He wasn't leaving. Eddie still had Buck.

When Eddie woke up, he didn’t wake up to the usual smell of Buck’s pancakes and panicked momentarily. Had Buck grown tired of him as well? Had he left? 

“Are you awake?”

He looked up, breath stuffed in his lungs as he came across a sleep rumpled Buck looking through his phone. His curls were all over the place, his eyes were a little red-rimmed and he looked far from well-rested but all Eddie could think was that it was the best view if he ever saw one. 

He looked down and grimaced seeing the stretched out fabric of Buck’s shirt still tightly clutched in his hand. He immediately released it. 

Buck didn't ask him why he was sleeping on the floor, sitting beside the couch, clutching onto his shirt and he felt the warmth that resided between the ribs, just below his heart, flare into something close to a burning flame.

Buck stood up and stretched his arms above his head causing the already stretched shirt to ride up and expose just a strip of his belly before casually sauntering towards the kitchen.

Eddie sat there willing his brain to come back online again. His body protested when he pulled himself up but his mind felt at ease when he followed Buck into the kitchen with a smile.

Maybe the universe really did scream and all Eddie could hear was it yelling in bold, capital letters; I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Tommy Kinard showed up at his place on a casual Sunday with the grace and arrogance of a rabid dog and parked himself on the couch that was more or less Buck’s. 

Eddie has no idea when he became possessive of Buck’s things. It isn't even Buck’s couch fundamentally and it's driving him crazy as he seethes from the far end of the hallway having no intention of going out and greeting the man. 

Buck was fleeting around getting ready in a hurry for the stupid date Tommy ‘planned’. Eddie was anxiously dragging his eyes wherever Buck went and with every step accomplished by Buck, Eddie’s heartbeat sky-rocketed. Buck was leaving. Buck was leaving. Buck was leav–

“Eddie!”

He shook himself and turned to Buck who was looking at him, a little concerned. 

“I will be back before dinner. That ok with you?”

No. No. NO. NO. N–

 “Of course. Have fun.”

Buck’s eyes were still fixed on him when Tommy slipped a hand around his elbow and gently pulled him along, throwing a casual ‘Bye’ before taking away every reason he had to breathe in that moment. 

Eddie felt his breath stutter in his lungs. He was overreacting. Buck was going to be back before dinner. He wouldn’t even notice Buck’s absence. He wasn't dependent on Buck to that extent. Buck will be back before he knows it. It's not like was going to lose his mind over Buck being gone for a few hours. Buck made sure he knew Buck was going out and will be back before dinner. 

Eddie walked over to the couch and grumbled before snatching the throw blanket and tossing it away. He sat down and turned on the TV. His eyes kept shifting to the clock above the TV. It displayed 05:20 in bright red blocks that mocked Eddie. His leg bounced in time with the seconds displayed in the relatively small blocks. 

He turned his gaze back to the TV. He subtly took a glance at the clock and threw his arms up in exasperation. It couldn’t be…It shouldn't be…But it was…05:26. Six minutes? Six fucking minutes!!

He was, unfortunately, losing his mind. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the contacts. His finger hovered over Buck’s contact before he scrolled past it and came to a halt on another familiar name.

“Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.”

“Hello.”

“Eddie Diaz. Hi, um, can I talk to Frank?”

“Um, I’m sorry, do you have an appointment?”

Yes, with death if I don’t get to speak to my fucking therapist.

“Mr. Diaz?”

“It’s kind of urgent?” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Diaz—”

“Diaz?”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat as he gripped his phone tightly barely holding back the urge to scream out for Frank. The line crackled before a calm and deep voice filtered through the receiver. 

“Eddie?”

“Frank. I…I really need to talk to you.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

“Fine. Are you alright to drive on your own?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.”

“Where is here ?”

“My hom– house.” 

It wasn't a home anymore. It was barely a house. 

“Alright, Eddie, I think you are not in the right state of mind to drive yourself anywhere.”

“You’re not getting it! He’s gone. He’s gone ,” he ground out, gripping the phone tightly.  

“Christopher?”

“Buck,” He breathed out, as if it was physically paining him before continuing, “He left. He…went…”

“Eddie, where did Buck go?” Frank sounded too calm and it made Eddie want to either pull his hair out or perhaps Frank’s. That wouldn’t be appreciated. 

“On a date with his… boyfriend ,” He seethed, ending the sentence with barely contained venom.

“Ok. Did he tell you when he’ll be back?”

“Befo–Before dinner.”

“Eddie…”

“Yeah? Can I come?” Hope was a dangerous thing. Eddie Diaz never got anything out of hoping.

“Eddie, what time is it?”

“What kind of question is that? It’s…” He trailed off, voice growing small and scared towards the end as his eyes wandered over to the clock. 

“What time is it, Eddie??”

“It’s 8:10.”

Eddie opened his mouth to say something but the sound of a key turning in the lock startled him into dropping his phone. He quickly picked up the phone.

“Buck’s back. I’ll talk to you…later.”

“Tomorrow. I’m putting in your name. I’ll email you the details.”

“...Hm.”

He put the phone away and pulled his stare away from the clock as Buck walked in with a barely there smile and a frown on his forehead. 

“Hey. You eat anything yet?”

Buck said as he walked past him towards the kitchen. He stopped midway when he got no response from Eddie.

“Eddie?”

“What time is it, Buck?”

“Dinner time?”

Eddie slowly trailed behind Buck with a heavy heart and even heavier feet. He stopped near the sink as Buck pulled out a plate. Eddie’s gaze momentarily shifted to the plastic bags on the small dining table. Some of the anxiety bled through his sigh as he edged closer to Buck. Always drifting towards Buck.

“Buck…”

“Hm?”

“What time is it?”

Buck turned to him with a frown. Eddie did not gasp. No, he did not. He almost closed his eyes in reflex when Buck’s cold and gentle hand brushed away his hair and touched his forehead.

“Are you getting sick? The weather’s changing. It’s 8:30, Eddie.”

Eddie nodded slowly. Buck turned away to get busy again. He wasn't an idiot. He knew his mind was messing with him. He knew what was happening. He just didn't know if he should just push it down, repress it, ignore it and move on with life. Buck slowly walked over to him with a tilted head.

“You alright?” Buck asked, dividing his attention between Eddie and the work at hand, namely preparing food for Eddie and if that didn't send a jolt of happiness through Eddie’s whole body. 

Eddie decided to ask about the date since that was something best friends were supposed to do. He wasn't really interested in knowing about Tommy but he couldn't ignore the other half of the relationship; Buck .

“I’m fine. How was the date?”

Maybe he wasn't meant to see it but Buck definitely scoffed and rolled his eyes muttering under his breath; It was definitely something.

“Took you to some fancy restaurant, did he?”

Was he fishing for information? He was definitely fishing for information. He just didn't like the downcast and dazed look in Buck’s eyes. He didn't like the way Buck’s shoulders tensed up at the word date . He also didn't like the small flare of anger in the ocean blue and usually cool eyes of the blonde.

“As if. Took me to a private bar his friend owned. It was an… experience ,” He muttered, voice dripping with barely contained anger. “Just not my taste. People were swapping partners. Men were shoving around their dates into other men’s laps. Some were showing off their partners as if they were a piece of meat. I…didn’t really enjoy it.”

“Then why did you stay?”

He quickly turned away to get busy with the bags to avoid Buck’s eyes. He definitely slipped there. What had gotten into him? Buck was trying to open up to him and he was being an asshole.

“Sorry. I meant you shouldn't have stayed if you felt uncomfortable.”

“Tommy was my ride home.”

He ignored the way Buck’s home slightly tilted his word on its axis. Home . It didn't feel like home with Chris gone but seeing Buck filtering around the kitchen, it started becoming home again.

“You cou– you should’ve called me.” He shook his head and shot a meaningful look in Buck’s direction.

“I…I didn't want to bother you. I know I’ve been hovering and you don’t like it but I can’t help it. I am worried about you.” Buck looked like he’d been ready for this conversation for ages.

“I’m worried about you too. You shouldn't have to stay out by making an excuse because you think you are bothering me. You are the farthest thing from a bother right now.”

“Then why didn't you call me?” There was a slight edge to Buck’s voice as if he was truly upset just about this one thing. 

About Eddie not calling him. 

Not Tommy taking him out on a shitty date. About Eddie not calling him when he was out on a date with his boyfriend.. 

Something like courage spiralled through him like a momentous but raging storm. He moved closer, hand reaching out to grasp onto something. He looked at Buck and slowly placed the hand on the edge of the counter beside Buck. He could just accidentally move his hand and it’ll touch Buck with no effort, accidentally , of course. 

“You are all I have, Buck. I…You have a life outside me. I am…miserable and suffocating. I was suffocating you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving. I called Frank, Buck. I thought I was going crazy.”

“You weren’t suffocating me, Eddie. And even if you were, I’d prefer to be suffocated here with you rather than whatever that was. Someone asked Tommy if they could have a try with me and he had the fucking balls to look in my direction to check for my reaction. Can you fucking believe it?” 

Eddie didn't have the time to let the tidal emotions of pure bliss wash over him, at Buck’s admittance of wanting to be stuck with Eddie rather than Tommy, before he felt the raging storm of unaltered rage tighten every muscle in his body at the later part. 

He looked at Buck in confusion. Why was Buck telling him this, so casually, as if this was a normal occurrence and not something that is instigating thoughts of murder in Eddie’s mind. 

“He did what now?” He asked, hands clutching around something invisible, in his head he is picturing Tommy’s neck being strangled but that’s between him and him. 

Buck has no idea what sort of effect his words are having on him and Eddie can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not. “I would like to think that I was drunk and it didn't happen but it ruined his mood so much that I couldn’t pretend it didn't happen. Ha! I didn't even drink.”

Eddie felt something itch and gradually turn into a burn on his knuckles. Oh , he recognized that familiar itch. 

“You call me next time. The second you feel uncomfortable, you call me.” It was a request just as much as it was an order and Eddie didn't care if he came off a wee bit annoying and overprotective. By the look on Buck’s face he didn't mind it all so that's all that mattered. 

“Yeah? And you’ll what? Show up like my knight in shining armour?” He teased, with that familiar tilt of his head and that small smirk on his lips and Eddie wanted to do unspeakable things. It was a sudden urge that went away just as quickly when Buck seemed to sober up and turn away from him once again. “I don’t need saving, Eddie. He can’t make me do something I don’t wanna do.” 

“It’s already too far that he insinuated it. He didn't have to make you do something or for it to happen to count. It’s already bad enough that he thought he could. It’s like he knows nothing about you.” This time Eddie looked away when Buck tried to find his eyes. He was noticing a pattern. They were engaged in a dance with their gazes and if Eddie was better with words he could’ve come up with a poem.

“Well, in his defence, he really doesn't,” Buck shrugged.

That made the flames instantly turn into steam as he slumped back against the counter, effectively putting some distance between them. Something was charged between them and Eddie didn't want to do something he might not regret.

“Sucks to be him then.” 

He smiled as Buck sniggered and shoved him.

“Let’s eat something. I’m starving! I guess gross flirting and disgusting innuendos from strangers don’t really fill you up.”

Eddie barely held back the frustrated groan about the additional information. 

“Let’s just eat.”

Frank sat in front of him with such a neutral face as if Eddie hadn't called him in a state of panic and hysteria just the day before. Eddie wanted to present him with an award for appearing so unbothered and professional but also flip his stupid oak table to get some sort of reaction out of him.

“How are you feeling, Eddie?”

“I don’t know. Miserable. Weird. Angry. ”

“You wanted to talk to me yesterday. Do you still want to talk to me?” Frank wasn't giving him an out. He knew the look in Frank’s eyes. Frank was steering him where he wanted to take him.

“No–Yes? I guess. I’m not s-sure.”

“What did you want to talk about yesterday?” He asked, clicking his pen twice.

“Buck left and I couldn’t sit still. I swear it was around 5 when I called you.” The second half was unnecessary information that Frank didn't inquire about but Eddie caught the slight change in his eyes. Fuck.

“Did Buck come back as he’d promised?”

“Yeah. He was back before dinner and he got me food too.” Unnecessary information part 2, but he needed Frank to know that Buck is a good man and a great friend.

“Do you think you might be projecting Christopher leaving onto Buck and holding onto him because of the guilt about whatever happened with the Kim situation?” Frank asked, eyes fixed on Eddie.

“No. Buck’s my best friend. I’m not treating him as a replacement for Chris or or Kim or whatever.” The very idea was outlandish.

“I didn't say you were treating him as a replacement. I’m saying that whatever you might be feeling about Buck could be because of what happened.”

“You’re saying I’m getting attached to him? In an unhealthy way?” He doesn't like that he can understand Frank better now.

“Emotionally dependent is better fitting for your situation. You think you’ve lost everything and Buck is your last tether to this world, so of course you would want to hold onto it tightly.”

“Is it bad?” Eddie found himself leaning forward.

“It depends on various factors.”

“Let me ask again. Is it bad for Buck?”

“I’m concerned with you Eddie and I can’t really evaluate how this might affect Mr. Buckley. You are worried about him so I would like to think you’d make better choices by your own standards.”

“I’m concerned about Buck. Should I tell him that I need some space?” Something slithered around his heart and tightened like a noose as soon as those words were out.

“Will that make him feel better and by extension how will it affect you?” Frank asked, writing something on his stupid notebook.

“He’d probably think I’m kicking him out of my life because he’s overstayed his welcome, when in reality he can never overstay his welcome. It’s his home just as much as it is mine or Chris’. He knows it but sometimes he overthinks and that’s never good. How will it affect me? I think I’ll pull myself together enough to carry on with my job and daily life but I won’t be able to survive it for long.”

“It’s good that you know the consequences of your actions on not only him but you as well. Now, you said you felt angry. Why is that?”

“It’s Buck’s stupid boyfriend.” If he put emphasis on ‘stupid’ no, he did not. That’s insane.  

“That friend of yours you mentioned off-handedly in one of the sessions?” For a therapist who just wants to deal with him and his problems Frank had no reason to remember Tommy Kinard of all the people he’s mentioned during his sessions. 

“He’s no friend of mine. He’s a dick.”

“Those are some strong emotions for someone you thought of as a friend.”

“Ever since Buck started dating him, it's been like a switch flipped inside me. I feel like I can’t stand him. Every time Buck or anyone brings him up I feel like I’m going to burst a nerve. It’s a weird feeling. He was fine but then he started dating Buck and he doesn't treat Buck the way Buck deserves. Buck’s not happy with him and I can’t just ignore it. He took him to some shitty bar where partners are treated…whatever, it just wasn't a place Buck would have picked if he had the choice.”

“Did he have a choice?” Frank’s eyebrow is doing that thing where he’s caught onto something important and Eddie doesn't like that one bit.

“He didn't know. It was a surprise.”

“If he didn't like it, he could’ve left,” Frank says.

“Tommy was his ride home,” He parrots the same words Buck had blurted out and, well, now they seem stupid.

“Eddie, do you believe that Buck is not capable of getting himself home if he wanted to leave?” Eddie hasn’t felt the urge to punch a living, breathing person in a long while but Frank and Tommy bring out the fighter inside of him. Not in a good way. He’s not proud that the second person he wants to beat after his best friend’s boyfriend is his therapist.

“He said he felt like he was smothering me and that’s why,” He trails off, knowing it’s just a pathetic excuse.

“Did you feel like he was smothering you?”

“No. I…He’s all I have now. That’s what I told him.”

“Now? And when Christopher decides to come back? What will happen to Buck then?”

“Buck is not Christopher’s replacement. He has his own place in my house and my heart,” He insists. 

“Yes, Eddie, Buck is not Chrsitopher’s replacement so he will still be here when Christopher comes back. Then why do you feel so threatened by this boyfriend?”

“I don’t feel threatened by him. He’s a prick and doesn't deserve Buck.”

“That’s for Buck to decide and if he doesn't deserve him then who does? You say he’s all you have so do you want to be all he has as well? He has his own place in your house and heart but what is that place Eddie? I’m not pushing you to assign some role to Buck but at some point you would have to ask yourself what Buck’s place is in your house and heart? Especially now that Chrisopher is gone.”  

Eddie looked down at his phone and could practically hear his own heartbeat in his ears.

“Someone important?”

“Buck.”

[ Offer still open? Can you come pick me up my knight in shining armour? ]

The message had come in 20 minutes ago. Eddie felt all the alarm bells go off in his head instantly.

‘You call me next time. The second you feel uncomfortable, you call me.’

His phone buzzed and Eddie shared a glance with Frank before picking it up and standing up in a hurry, patting his pockets to locate his keys.

“I’m going to…”

Frank simply nodded as Eddie pulled the door and made a dash for the parking with his heart in his throat.

“E…Eddie…” A punctured sound followed his name and soon dissolved into heavy breathing and wheezing.

“Buck? Buck!”

“Can…pick me up? I…d-don’t feel…good.”

His speech was slurring and his breath was catching at every syllable as he struggled to form proper words.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Where’s Tommy? Buck! Buck, talk to me.”

“..d-don’t know…got angry…left…lo–locked…hel…help…can’t b-breathe…c-can’t…haa…p-please…Ed..die…”

“Hey, hey, hey. Keep talking to me, Buck. I’m coming. I’m coming right now. Just hang on.”

Eddie felt his whole mind rattle as a loud bang echoed through the speaker with Buck’s high-pitched shriek. He was glad for doing a job that required full focus under unfavourable circumstances. 

“Buck? Hey, what’s happening there?” He asked, keeping his voice as calm as possible.

“M–man…out…s-side…do…door…haa…sc…scared.”

“Buck, listen to me carefully. Jam your feet against the door or sit against it. Anything! Just don’t let him in. I’m coming. Just hang on! Just hang on for me!” He pleaded, desperately slamming his foot on the accelerator. 

He knew he needed to call someone but right now he was Buck’s best shot and he couldn’t drop the call, not if it meant he had no way of knowing Buck was safe or not. 

“No…n-no…”

“Buck, I’m here.”

“Eddie? He’s…com…ing…I…don’t…wan…please…I wan’ go home…I wan’ yo’...”

Eddie blinked away the tears as he looked down at the location displaying on the phone. He thanked whoever was watching over them. The 118 decided to share their locations after one too many bar incidents.

“No! G-get aw—” “Buck!” “ don’… tou” “Buck!” “…me! S-stop.” “Buck!!”

A loud bang echoed through the speakers before a gruff and loud voice filtered in. “He’s got someone on the phone.”

He couldn’t hear the exchange but it was clear the man wasn't alone. Where the fuck was Tommy! If he got his hands on that man, he would wish he was dead. 

He knew that knowing someone was coming, they’d try to move Buck and with the realisation came panic barreling in full force. Buck was alone and hurt. Buck was scared. Buck needed him and he was going to fail him.

No, he couldn’t fail Buck.

“Forget about it, sleeping beauty’s out cold.”

Eddie knew the man was intentionally talking into the microphone. He was talking to Eddie . He wanted to make sure Eddie heard each and everything. He could hear faint noises of struggle and muffled yells in the background as well. 

Well, he had a piece of his own to say. He haphazardly parked his truck and pulled his phone out of the holder.

“Listen to me carefully, whoever you are, leave him alone and I’ll forget this ever happened cuz if I find you, because I will, and he is hurt, there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Go and scare someone else with your two cent threats.”

“Not a threat. A promise .”

The call dropped and Eddie marched inside the club pushing past the bouncer walking towards him in a hurry yelling something about parking his truck in front of the club. He couldn’t care less. 

“Call the police and 911!”

Eddie rushed over to the bathrooms and kicked the door seeing the empty space. The bouncer had caught up to him, phone held tightly in his hand. 

“Call the damn police, man! Someone’s life is on the line! Is there any place you could take someone without exiting the building? Is there another exit aside from the one beside the entrance?”

“There’s one more exit but it’s blocked off because of the construction happening in the nearby building. There are rooms to rent on the second floor.”

“Send someone to the second floor until the cops get here and send the paramedics as soon as they get here.”

Eddie lept towards the stairs pointing upwards with a neon sign arrow flashing an ominous green. 

The moment he reached the second floor he started opening the doors. People barely had the mind to keep clothes on by the time they reached these doors, he doubted anyone had the time to lock them. He could have gone a lifetime without having seen the scenes behind some of the doors but it was a small price he was willing to pay to save Buck.

It was the fifth door from the left that didn't budge when he twisted the wonky knob. His eyes narrowed and within the next breath he was slamming his shoulder into the door. It rattled but stayed in place. After the third slam he pulled back a little before slamming his foot into the door. It cracked open with a loud thump and Eddie hissed and bit the groan as the impact left a throbbing pain in his ankle.

He didn't wait to check the extent of his injury and pushed past the door in a hurry. He could hear muffled screams and the sounds of struggle. He could also recognize Buck’s sobs and yells. 

He quickly rushed into the room and felt his breath get knocked out of his lungs. Buck was pressed into the far corner of the room with a large man hovering above him, one hand around Buck’s throat and the other tightly gripping onto his arm to keep him in place. 

Buck was fighting but it was losing battle as his eyes kept falling shut and the man kept slamming his head back into the wall with each squeeze of neck timed with the slam.

Eddie jumped over the bed and grabbed the man by the back of his shirt. He pulled him off of Buck and threw him back with a force that he didn't normally possess. He spared a worried and panicked glance in Buck’s direction. Seeing him lucid and breathing, he turned to the man who was now standing up with a hiss. 

Eddie looked at him and couldn’t help the laughter that slipped past his lips. It was like his sanity was literally slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. The swirl of anxiety, protective instinct and adrenaline wasn't a good mix for whoever decided to get in Eddie’s way. 

He took a measured step towards the man instantly getting his attention. 

The man looked up and the last thing he saw was Eddie’s smile before his world exploded in pain as Eddie’s head connected with his nose. He stumbled and Eddie’s harsh shove sent him tumbling backwards. 

Blood dripped down the man’s nose and dribbled down his chin painting a picture of misery. Eddie planted his feet on either side of the man and bent down to get in his face. He grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him up. He jammed his finger into the man’s forehead. 

He poked the finger painfully against his temple as each word slipped through his gritted teeth. “I told you to leave him alone.” The man’s eyes widened as he looked up at Eddie. 

Eddie could see the gleam of a predator reflecting in the man’s eyes along with the fear for his life. Eddie could barely recognize his voice as he shook the man violently. If his head kept hitting the wall behind him with a jarring force that was definitely going to leave the back of his head bloody and bruised then no, Eddie wasn’t as vile to plan something like that.

“How dare you put your hands on him after I warned you?” His eyes narrowed, the man’s hand had a crooked bite mark at the juncture of the thumb and the pointer finger. Buck might’ve been most probably drugged, dragged and scared out of his mind but he wasn't going down without a fight and these men underestimated Evan Buckley. 

Eddie felt something akin to pride towards Buck. Buck, who was scared and alone. Buck, who didn't know what was happening with him. Buck, who called Eddie. Buck, who knew Eddie would tear the world apart to get to him.

“I told you, there’ll be hell to pay .”

That’s the last thing that man heard before Eddie’s fist slammed into the side of his face. If it was up to Eddie that would’ve been the last thing that man ever heard. 

He pushed the unconscious man away and stood up straight. Black spots appeared in his periphery and soon red blurred his vision. He raised his hand and touched his forehead. There was blood on his fingers. He clicked his tongue before turning towards Buck in urgency when the blonde coughed. 

He stumbled over his feet to get to Buck who was slumping forward and gently tilted his head back. He couldn't hold back the gasp when he saw Buck’s face up close. Blood was pouring down his temple, an ugly bruise was blooming high on his right cheek, there were harsh grazes on his chin and his lower lip was busted. 

Eddie’s hand hesitantly hovered over the wounds before his gaze travelled down to assess his body and it wasn't in a better condition than the face. His shirt was ripped at the front, three buttons missing, a tear on the bottom of the shirt. The button on his jeans was also missing, the zipper was broken and someone definitely messed with his underwear. 

Eddie’s eyes gilded back up to Buck’s face and he felt his heart clench at the sight. Buck was looking at him through hooded, dazed and distant eyes and his hand kept scratching at his throat sluggishly. 

There were tears streaming down his face but it seemed as if he wasn't aware. Eddie gently grabbed his wrist and expected the violent flinch but it still hurt him when Buck sobbed and begged him to Let go, Stop, Please.

He slowly put Buck’s hands down and gently cupped his face. He tilted Buck’s face to make him look… see …that Eddie was here.

“Buck. It’s me. Please, look at me.”

Buck didn't respond for a long time but then just a flash of recognition appeared and disappeared instantly and he was struggling against Eddie once again. Eddie pulled away even if he didn't want to let go and sat down near him but not close enough to touch Just close enough to comfort, to protect, to just… be . 

He sat there and watched Buck fight through the dizziness and nausea and pain and fear.

He didn't know how long he sat there before paramedics were rushing into the room. He wanted to yell at them for taking so long but he knew why. This was no normal club. He wasn't even surprised. Tommy either had a shitty taste in clubs or he had horrendous and disgusting hobbies and either of those reasons felt feasible enough to kill the man right now. 

The paramedic rushed over to the man Eddie had knocked out and that was the last straw. He grabbed the man. “ That ,” he pointed to Buck, “is your patient,” he finished, voice dropping to a low whisper.    

The paramedic looked at him and then over at the bouncer who looked a little too pale for the amount of blood in the room. The burly man nodded and the paramedic gave his partner a sign before moving towards Buck. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately, Eddie is divided on that, Buck chose that exact moment to wake up and slam shoulder first into the paramedic with a loud scream. 

“No! Don’t! Stop! Stop!”

It seemed like they hadn’t given him enough drugs to knock him out completely. Eddie felt a horrifying dread pool in his gut. They wanted him awake for whatever they planned to do to him. Who was he kidding? He knew exactly what they planned on doing and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Buck scrambled towards the other end and pressed his back into the opposite wall with wide, frantic eyes. Eddie watched the paramedic approach him carefully with hands wide open and facing Buck but it seemed to put Buck on edge as he plastered himself further against the wall. 

“St…ay…aw…St–s…stop. Eh…e…haa…ed…edd…ie…eddie…Eddie.”

The paramedic turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “Are you Eddie?”

He slowly nodded his head and blinked when the paramedic moved out of his way. 

“We can’t help him if he thinks we’re going to attack him. He’s calling your name. Let’s try and calm him down first. His wounds, um, don’t look bad enough to warrant us putting his safety over his comfort.” 

Eddie wanted to protest but as a paramedic himself, he knew the man was right. The injuries seemed superficial. Buck looked ok if only worse for wear.

Eddie hesitantly moved closer to Buck who was eyeing his moment cautiously. He stopped just a few steps away and settled in front of Buck, just within his reach. 

“Hey, Buck. I know you’re scared. This must be fucking terrifying. I’m here. I’m right here .”

Buck looked up, eyes dazed with exhaustion and pain. “Eddie?” 

He sounded so unsure of himself and Eddie wanted to turn around and maybe punch that man a few more times just for making Buck say his name like that.

“Yeah, Buck.” Eddie slowly let his lips pull into a gentle coaxing smile that he usually reserved for Chris on his particularly bad sick days.

Buck’s shoulders slowly relaxed as he licked his lips and looked around nervously. He inched closer, just enough so that Eddie could see the shivers and occasional tremors that made him shudder. “He left,” He whispered, like a shared secret.

“Who left?”

“Tommy. He was mad. Really, really mad. I tried to stop him but he wouldn’t listen to me,” Buck rambled, hands clenching around the air tightly, face scrunching up in pain whenever any of the cuts or bruises would get pulled. “He was saying something about wanting me, needing me b-but but Eddie needs me and I already failed him when I couldn't stop Christopher from leaving and it’s all so messed up. He won’t…He won’t listen to me. He left me. He..” He sobbed out and then slapped his hands over his ears with a grimace. 

“Buck…Buck…hey, hey, It’s alright. Everything’s alright.” His hands shot out on their own but he stopped just centimetres away from him. The last thing Buck would want, right now, would be getting touched. Eddie ignored the pang that zipped through his heart.

“It’s not! It’s not! They won’t stop. They won’t stop! They won’t listen to me. It was hurting me and I told them and they wouldn’t stop. I didn't want to…I didn't mean to…Eddie…” 

Eddie gasped when one of Buck’s hands shot out and grabbed at his wrist in desperation. “I didn't mean to…” He sounded so scared. Slightly sober but so so scared. If Buck looked at him with those eyes and told him he murdered someone, Eddie would ask where they should hide the body?

“What didn't you mean to?” He asked, voice gentle and soothing, trying to block out the paramedics trying to talk to the man.

“I…He…he was…p-pushing me down and he…my shirt Eddie…my shirt.” 

Eddie looked down at his shirt where it’d been ripped and his jaw tightened. Just as he was about to ask what Buck had done, one of the paramedic’s voice echoed in the room, in an urgency that Eddie recognized from emergencies. “There’s a man here! He’s bleeding!”

Buck sobbed out loud before slumping forward into Eddie’s chest. “I didn't…mean to…I…he w-was hurting me…I was…scared. He said…y-you wouldn’t come.”

Eddie threw caution to wind and wrapped his arms around Buck tightly who pressed into him even more. Eddie couldn't guess whether Buck was seeking comfort or if he was trying to hide but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except for Buck. 

“Hey shh…you did the right thing. I’m so proud of you, Buck. You heard me, bud. Mr. Fightclub is so fucking proud of you, baby.” 

He felt Buck’s arms reach around him and his fingers clench around his shirt. “Wan’ go home…please.” 

“I’ll take you home, Buck. Can you let the paramedic check you first?”

He felt Buck tense up against him. 

“Y-you can do it.”

“Buck–”

“You do it.”

“Buck”

“You. Only you.”

Eddie bit his lower lip to keep the rapidly building sob that was a mix of frustration, anger, sadness and so much helplessness.

“I can’t do it, Buck, you know that. They would need–”

Buck ripped himself away from him with a renewed force. He looked at Eddie with his big pleading and devastating eyes.

“They wouldn’t! Nothing happened! Nothing! Happened! I don't want to! Please! I’m begging you! I can’t. I won’t. If anyone tries to touch me, I will…please, Eddie.” 

Eddie quickly pulled him back into his arms and soothed a hand down his back to calm him. He turned to the paramedic standing just a few steps away from them. 

“We can’t do anything if he doesn't want to be treated.” The man looked conflicted, sparing a disgusted glance in the general direction to the whole situation happening near the bathroom.

“What about?” He left the rest of the question unsaid, not wanting to distress Buck even more.

“Talk to the officer. She might…Sergeant Grant.” The man immediately straightened and turned to the woman with an apologetic look.

“Another one of drunken assholes trying to…Eddie?”

“Athena.” It sounded less like a name and more like a prayer and Eddie isn't even a religious man. 

“Is that…”

Eddie looked down at Buck who had basically melted into Eddie, face pressed into Eddie’s chest, arms tightly wound around him despite the weakness. His eyes were closed but Eddie knew he was far from asleep. He looked back at Athena with pleading eyes before nodding, trying not to choke on the sobs trying to rip through this throat.

She cursed under her breath. “Does Bobby know?” she asked, eyes turning a little sharp, very lethal, as they roamed around the room.

“No. Can we…Can I take him h-home? Athena, please. He…please.”

“I’ll handle it here. Take your boy home. I’ll come around in the morning with someone to get his statement if he remember–”

“He will. He will remember. It wasn't…We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You alright on your own?” She asked, the mask of the Sergeant slipping and cracking slightly as her gaze shifted to Buck who was pointedly ignoring her despite having opened his eyes.

“Yeah. Thanks, Athena.”

Athena nodded before turning around and Eddie caught a glimpse of a woman who was on her way to let loose the worst kind of hell men had thought of in their most terrifying nightmares.

Eddie has not a single clue how he got them out of that place. He just knows Buck was quietly folded into his side, burrowing further and further into Eddie as they walked out of the bar.

Now kneeling on his cold hard floor with Buck sitting on the edge of his bed, Eddie is finally feeling it all hit him. Buck took off the shirt as soon as they crossed the door to his bedroom and threw it across the room with a stangled whine before looking down at his pants and sighing. He sat down on the bed and hasn’t moved or said a single thing since then. 

Eddie quietly knelt by his leg and put a gentle hand on his calf to remind him that he was with Buck.

“I…I called Tommy a-after I messaged you. He t-told me th-that I…was o-old enough to t-take care of m…myself…Eddie…bec-because I told him I could make decisions for myself…I couldn't breathe and he cut the call. He…I…I was so scared and he just…why?” Buck finally looked down at him and Eddie didn't waste a second, reaching up to cup Buck’s face between his palms. “I don’t know why he did that but I promise you that if that man ever steps anywhere near you, ever again, I’ll forget everything about wanting to be a better man, Buck.”

Buck sobbed as he leaned forward to rest his forehead onto Eddie’s. “You came… for me .”

“Always, Buck.”

It wasn't even a question. If Buck called him, Eddie would run like a blind man. If Buck asked, Eddie would do anything and everything. 

“Did I kill…that man?”

God, I hope so.

He didn't say it. Couldn't say it to Buck’s open, honest, hurt and raw emotions that were dancing across his bruised face.

“He’ll be fine, unfortunately. Don’t worry about it. Can I look at your injuries now?”

“Hm”

Eddie didn't say anything after that. The mantra of I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you was too loud for him to say anything else. He gently pulled out the small pieces of glass embedded in Buck’s palm and winced when fresh blood oozed out. 

“I smashed the vase on that man’s head before he dragged me to the bathroom. My chin…” His hand lifted and his finger gently grazed the wound on his chin. “He wouldn’t stop, Eddie.”

“I’m sorry. If I’d just…just a little…I’m so sorry, Buck.”

“It’s fine,” He smiled and Eddie wanted to push his face against Buck’s stomach and sob in his place because nothing about this was fine. Nothing! 

“He slammed me into the wall because I wouldn’t stay still.”

Eddie’s hand momentarily stopped where he was wiping off the blood near Buck’s mouth.

“The other guy just stood there…watching, the one you…before I…My wrists…” He looked down at his hands that were now neatly wrapped with bandages. “He was holding so tightly I thought, for sure, he’d broken one of ‘em.” 

Eddie gently held his hands and brought them up to press his lips onto his knuckles where the bandage wasn't covering the skin.

“Buck, you’re safe. You’re with me.”

“You called me baby, Mr. Fightclub,” He chuckled, causing the tears gathered in his lashes to trickle down his cheeks.

“I did, didn't I?”

“Will you do it again?”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

“Can you do me a favour?”

“Anything.”

“Can you text Tommy?”

Eddie gulped the acid that rose to his mouth, barely keeping in the tears. “Buck–”

“Can you tell him to never show his face in front of me ever again?”

“Yeah. I can do that.”

Tommy called him the moment he sent the text and boy, was Eddie ready to give him a piece of his mind but when Tommy spoke up, his mind went blank, static .

“Evan, stop being childish. We’ve been through this. Not like it’s the first time I’ve left you after one of our dates went wrong.”

If technology was advanced enough, Eddie Diaz, technophone to the core, would have taken any risk to jump through the phone and strangle Tommy. That man shouldn't have speaking rights. Someone needs to take them away without actually killing him and Eddie can see no other way.

“Don’t show your fucking face around Buck anymore or else my next project would be renovating whatever’s going on there. Heard me loud and clear? Good.” Then he hung up. 

When he stepped back into the room, Buck had changed into clean clothes. He looked… better.

Eddie walked over to the bed, put the water bottle on the nightstand and took one of the pillows.

“Call me if you need anything.” He didn't get very far when a hand grabbed his wrist. He looked down at Buck who looked terrified to put it simply.

“Can you…can we…I-...”

Eddie grabbed Buck’s hand and sat down in front of him.

“Breathe, baby. It’s ok. What do you want?”

“I don't wanna be alone. Can you stay?”

“You just had to ask.”

Something seemed to break and rebuild in Buck’s eyes when Eddie said that. He moved to the other side to make room for Eddie and as soon as Eddie laid down, he shuffled over not so subtly. 

“C'mere, Buck.”

Buck shuffled over even less subtly this time and planted his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Do you want me to hold you?” He asked, putting emphasis on the tone. Permission .

“Please.” 

Eddie did just that.

Eddie held Buck through the sleep.

Eddie held Buck through the nightmares.

Eddie held Buck through the sobs and terrified cries when he woke up thinking he was back at that place.

Eddie held him again when Buck begged him to hold him after pushing him away and yelling at him to get away.

Eddie held him even after Buck went to sleep and Eddie couldn't go back to sleep fearing what sort of nightmare might awaken Buck again.

Eddi held Buck. Close and warm. Alive and safe.