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Language:
English
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Published:
2024-10-10
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1,081
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1/1
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Kudos:
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Hang 'em High

Summary:

Valentino and Vox find out firsthand why sex on a hospital gurney is a bad idea

Notes:

A fic about those ridiculous moments between married couples that you just have to sit and laugh a little

Work Text:

Vox growls, grabbing both of Valentino's upper hands and pinning them to the wall.

 

“Fucking whore, all this whining and bitching and look where it got you.”

 

Val gasps, a large grin on his face as his lower hands run down Vox's chest, undoing the buttons. His lacy dress is still stained with blood, though the bullet hole is nearly closed over with Val's accelerated Overlord healing.

 

“I don't know Papi, I think it was worth it.”

 

Vox tightens his grip, narrowing his eyes as Val just licks his lips and grinds against him.

His partner is a pain in the ass, often literally, and Vox is sick and tired of cleaning up his mess.

 

“Was it? A whole gang war and for what, your pride? You got shot, you could have died , and-”

“And I'd be back tomorrow, no harm done.”

“You know that's not the point.”

 

They stare at each other for a long moment, the bones in Val's wrists creaking from Vox's grip.

Both of them know what Vox means, and neither of them particularly want to acknowledge it.

 

“Aw, couldn't last one night without my tight ass? You really have no patience Vox.”

The words are strained. They ignore it.

 

Vox growls once more, before pulling Val back, spinning them and marching down the hallway.

He doesn't care what, he's finding the nearest horizontal surface and he is taking every single one of his frustrations out on this idiot.

 

Val is humming cheerfully, and Vox can hear a wet sucking sound. When he turns, he finds one of the moth’s hands at his mouth, long tongue curling around each digit. As soon as he catches Vox's eyes, he winks, and Vox hates the way his gut curls in anticipation.

 

“At any point in your night of reckless debauchery and murder, did you think to prep yourself?*

“Always, in fact I'd hoped you fuck me over their corpses!”

 

An interesting idea, even if things hadn't turned out that way. 

Surely somewhere in this damned hospital there's a spare bed. Turning the next corner, he spots an abandoned gurney, only slightly stained from the last poor bastard carted around on it.

 

Not ideal, but it'll do.

He throws Val onto the hard leather, using his now free hands to undo his belt and free his straining cock.

Val is also working quickly, knowing their limited time and spreading his legs wide to show his wet hole.

 

The angle is borderline vanilla, with Vox between his thighs, one hand holding a thin ankle up to his shoulder. 

It's so easy to slide in, wet heat surrounding him as he bottoms out with a groan.

 

“You're loose, I have a feeling you did more than just prep yourself.”

“And if I said Angie helped me out a little?”

 

As Val probably wanted, that makes a little spark of heat rise in his chest, and his next thrust makes the gurney creak as it hits the wall.

Val tips his head back, and he’s tall enough that his antennae hang off the other end.

 

Vox can't help but drink in the sight, his partner lying there eyes closed in pleasure as Vox fucks his body.

No performance, no cameras, just them. Them and their need to feel each other after the stress of the night.

 

Abandoning holding the gurney steady, he leans forward, one hand pulling aside some of Val's neck fluff so he can bite at his collarbones to leave a dark bruise. 

Valentino is his, and Vox won't allow anything to take that away from him.

 

Another alarming squeak, but Vox ignores it in favour of letting a crackle of electricity run through his body, creating a tingling sensation that never fails to drive Val wild.

 

Sure enough his moth moans, the sound echoing off the bleak walls. He tightens up beautifully around Vox, and Vox has never been more thankful for the choices in life that brought him to hell.

 

“You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum before those doctors come back?”

“Make me cum then Papi, try a little harder and maybe I'll dress up as a nurse for you.”

“Fucking brat.”

 

Vox knows he looks a little out of control, claws sparking and leaving faint brands where they clutch Val tightly. He twitches, already feeling close to cumming, and very aware that Val is in the same state.

 

He runs a hand over Val's chest, claws catching on the nipple piercings and delivering slight shocks with each movement. His other hand moves to Val's cock, stroking slowly over the head.

 

“Gonna make you cum darling, cum all over my cock like a-”

 

A loud squeal and then a crash as the breaks on the gurney finally give way.

Vox overbalances and promptly falls into the wall, while Val is sent spinning down the hall with his legs up.

The sad squeaks of the wheel get fainter and fainter, before coming to a stop.

 

Silence, then chaos.

“VOX WHY DID YOU PICK A FUCKING GURNEY YOU IDIOT! YOU-”

“I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WANTED TO BE A DRAMA QUEEN AND GO TO A HOSPITAL! WHY DON'T YOU-”

“FUCK OFF! I DON'T THINK-”

 

The gurney squeaks again, and they abruptly stop shouting. Val stares fearfully at the bent looking metal before awkwardly sliding off, thighs wet and face flushed.

 

“Thanks for the ruined orgasm dickhead.”

“And how is this my fault?”

 

A deadpan look, before Vox starts laughing quietly.

They've been cockblocked many times over the decades, but a fucking hospital gurney giving out on them is a new one.

 

“Well, let's go home. Get an actual bed and I'll make it up to you.”

Val's crossed arms and little pout shouldn't make him feel as warm as it does, but when he offers his arm he can't help but grin softly.

 

“You still have your dick out.”

Shit.

Tucking himself away and straightening his clothes, he glares briefly before bringing his face to a more persuasive smile.

 

“Let's go home, not cause any more problems, and I'll fuck you hard enough to forget this ever happened. How does that sound?”

 

Val smiles back, lighting a cigarette and blowing a puff of red smoke at him.

 

“Sounds wonderful Papi, now let's get the fuck out of here.”

 

They leave side by side, Val's gold tipped claws occasionally brushing against his. The broken metal and mess of fluids is someone else's job to clean up. 

All that matters is them.