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The mission had been difficult. We died. All of us. Temporarily, but dead all the same.
Getting killed was not part of the plan discussed during the morning briefing. We never planned to not come home. For the Colonel, Teal’c and I, running for our very lives was a given and it was almost expected that one day we would not be able to run fast enough, but Daniel… well he was an academic. While we chose the warriors life – embraced it even – Daniel had not.
And it showed.
Despite the Nox mysteriously breathing life back into all of us, the memories were still there. Daniel had been struggling with remembering his last few moments alive after witnessing first the Colonel and then me being killed while the sound of Teal’c’s declaration to ‘die free’ echoed through his mind along with the blast of the staff weapon that took his life. Remembering events like that had never crossed my mind before because, as soldiers, we went into battle situations knowing that we may not come home. Being shot, dying and coming back to life was not an expectation.
Though, it was a good enough reason for a team night at the Colonel’s.
Which turned into a sleepover.
Except I couldn’t sleep because all I saw when I closed my eyes was the Colonel being shot by Apophis. He didn’t die straight away, none of us did. I laid there in an awkward position unable to move listening to Daniel cry out and the Colonel try to comfort him with his broken wheezing voice, telling him the cavalry were coming, that Sha’re was still out there and not to give up. He did that until he couldn’t any more, then there was nothing but silence, then nothing at all.
It had been terrifying.
So, at 0216 hours, I found myself walking aimlessly out of the guest room toward the kitchen, until the unusual sounds from the next room caught my attention. A strange grunting sound combined with the whooshing sound of someone pushing the air out of their lungs. Sliding quietly up to the slightly opened door, I froze.
And watched.
Trying not to let go of the sound threatening the corners of my lips as I watched him.
Up, hold, down… up, hold, down…
Over and over with each movement contributing to the soundtrack filling my ears. Never in my life had I considered something as mundane as exercise to be sexy, but here he was proving how very wrong that thought was. The strain of his biceps as he held his arms taut, elbows folded to almost perfect right angles, fists held by his ears and stomach muscles rippling as he lifted his torso up and down in the approximation of a perfect crunch made my body cry out for him more so than it usually did. His eyes closed and movement of his lips counting out each one while his tanned skin glistened in the warm yellow light of his bedside lamp made me swallow down my arousal. Clearly he couldn’t sleep and now I had no chance.
When he stopped to catch his breath, I darted back and pressed myself against the wall of his hallway, holding my breath half hoping he hadn’t heard or seen me and half hoping he had.
When the sounds started again, I craned my neck around the jamb of the door. My eyes widened as he pushed himself up and lowered himself back down. While the stomach crunches were perfect, I was and always would be an ‘arms girl’, and his arms were… well… the pull and release of his triceps, traps and the posterior deltoid as they moved under his skin with each movement made me long to have those arms holding me down. I could only imagine how this exercise was affecting his pecs and biceps. After a while he seemed to slow down the exercise, holding himself low and pushing up slowly, flexing his muscles with each repetition of the exercise as if he were exercising for my benefit. If only.
After what I had roughly counted as 100 repetitions, he swivelled himself to a sitting position, legs out straight and began reaching forward to stretch, the movement of the muscles running along his spine making my mouth go dry as he held his toes for a few seconds then easing back – running his fingers up his muscled leg and thigh – then moving to the other side. It was the stuff of dreams. Vividly hot dreams. After each group of five stretches, he moved his head from left to right and rolled his shoulders before continuing. Ten sets later, he leaned back on his arms, muscles rippling once more – supple and so delicious, I wanted to sink my teeth in while he suspended himself above me. When he moved to stand, I pressed my back to the wall again, too afraid to move or make a sound in case he heard me.
Our dalliances so far had been hot, lusty and largely driven by my need to prove to myself and him that I was just as resilient as any of the men at the SGC without ignoring the fact that I was a woman. When the virus hit the base, several other women wanted to claim him, a situation that I could not abide. The sheer intensity of our coupling left us reeling emotionally, a situation that amplified for him when he noticed my pained walking for two days after. He fled the base as soon as he could and withdrew physically and mentally from the team after that, cutting all tethers other than that of CO. The mission to bring Jonas home followed by the Unity had shaken those foundations even further.
They were too personal. They showed that we were more than soldiers. We were real people with real former lives.
Real secrets.
Secrets like the kind of man my ex-fiancé had been. Secrets like how the Colonel had lost his son in a dreadful accident.
My secret was revealed when we were both in that tent with Jonas on his little throne. With one emotionally charged look in his direction, the Colonel knew what Jonas had done in the confines of our bedroom. Moreover, he knew from our viral connection that I liked a little domination play which was something a commanding officer should not know about his 2IC.
I already knew about the Colonel’s former marriage and his son, though he never elaborated on the ‘was’ part of the conversation after our first encounter in my lab. I figured it was a messy divorce and his wife sued for full custody. I was so wrong. It didn’t escape my notice how similar I looked to his ex-wife. The jealousy that surged through me when he hugged her was strange and frankly unwelcome. I mean, of course, he would hug his ex-wife if an alien pretended to be their dead son. It was natural, so I chalked it up to remnants of the Broca Virus driving my emotions, and we moved past it because he had made it clear that he no longer wanted to continue our interludes.
So why was I here? Entertaining an interlude. Because it had been six weeks of want and need building up to the point that when I was in the room with him, I couldn’t think. He clouded everything and drew me in with those dark eyes and smirking smiles. Even though he said no, he sat opposite me in briefings and undressed me with his expressive eyes. Unconsciously imagining all the things he wanted to do to my body.
Like I was doing now.
After a few minutes with my back pressed against the wall, I decided to see if he had resumed. I knew I shouldn’t be watching him, but I couldn’t resist. Peeking through the gap left by his ajar door, I could not see him even though I could hear his heavy breathing. The bold adrenaline loving part of me that actively sought my CO out rather than take care of things myself poked her head a little further past his door jamb.
“Carter.” His breathless voice cut through the air urgently moments before his hand grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me through the partially opened door. When my wits returned, I was pressed against the wall of his room, my hands wrapped around the backs of his sweat-slicked naked arms. His hand had not relinquished its hold on my shirt as his dark eyes bore into mine.
“Sir.” I belatedly replied, my breath coming out hard and willowy. I wanted him so much right now. Flexing my fingers to feel his supple triceps respond – while way over the line we had attempted to draw – was an opportunity I could not ignore. The growl from his lips just made it worse, the line fading into obscurity when his hand released my shirt and slid up to bracket my throat and his lips found my neck drawing a desperate sound of unfulfilled sexual desire from my lungs. My eyes slipped closed as I breathed out an aroused sigh of desperate need making him groan hotly in my ear while wedging his leg between my thighs and encouraging me to press into him.
“Carter?” He groaned, brushing his lips along my clavicle and squeezing my neck so slightly it sent a spike of hot desire ricocheting around my body before settling in my core that longed to have him inside me. As much as I enjoyed dominating him, having him dominate me like this was so hot, I almost couldn’t breathe.
“Yes, Sir.” My voice wispy as I moved my hips to and fro pressing myself into his quads.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, the tip of his nose brushing along my ear.
“Team night, Sir.” I replied. “Mhaaa…” I cried softly when he nipped my ear. “Couldn’t sleep.” I huffed the next response.
“You appear to be missing something.” I smiled at his discovery and rocked a little harder on his naked thigh earning myself a squeeze of his hand around my throat and nip of his teeth under my ear.
“Yes.” I replied boldly because what I wanted there was still encased in his boxer shorts. Instead, his other hand ran down the clothed length of my body, around my naked ass, hooked my leg over his arm and buried two fingers making me sigh throatily, the sound vibrating off his hand as he squeezed.
“You shouldn’t be here.” He murmured into my ear while two sets of fingers flexed at opposite ends of my body, his thigh still wedged between my legs holding me firmly in place and at his mercy.
“Why not?” He twisted his fingers and pushed his thumb onto my clit, “Oh, fuck!” I cried earning myself a jiggle with that thumb and another nip from his teeth that had me gushing down his fingers and onto his thigh.
“Because… what I want to do to you is against the regulations.” He growled as if what we were doing – and had done – was not already against the regulations. He pressed his thigh harder against me which applied a delicious mount of pressure on his fingers until he removed them slowly dragging them around my thigh, and down the crease of my pelvis before running his hand back and holding my leg in place, giving him unimpeached access.
“Ohhwwwww…” I whined at the loss until they were replaced by something else. Looking down, I saw his hips move the broad head of his cock pressing and withdrawing. He bent his knees and gyrated his hips directing it along my sensitive skin until I let out a whimpering cry. The hand around my throat tightened.
“Eyes on me Carter.” He ordered huskily. I obeyed instantly.
“What do… oh… do you wa-want to do… Sir?” My words were barely audible through the thick sound of whimpers he pulled from me with his teasing. He wouldn’t even let me watch what he was doing. So unfair.
“Oh, Carter, Carter… so many things. I want to do so many things to every part of your body.” He confessed hotly in my ear. I cried breathlessly as my imagination ran wild with images of all the things I had ever dreamed of having done to my body while I called him ‘Sir’.
“Tell me.” The whimper coming out desperately when the broad head of his cock teased my entrance, “Please…”
“Not sure I have the vocabulary, Captain.”
“Show me then.” I begged
“Ah, I would you see, but… regulations.” He repeated, then nipped my earlobe. I brought my hands from his upper arms to his face and pulled it back from its torture of my neck.
“I don’t give a damn Colonel.” I heaved then brought his lips to mine in a bruising and desperate kiss. “If you don’t do something, I will. Sir.” He smiled and dove his head back then ran his tongue up the side of my neck and tugged my ear into his hot mouth.
“You want me to fuck you?” He asked hotly, thrusting his hips purposefully.
“Yes!”
“Suck you.”
“Oh God, yes!”
“Lick you, tease you, put my cock in your ass.” He muttered out a string of things while he danced his cock from my perineum through my folds and pressed it onto my aching clitoris before running it back and dipping it inside a little deeper but not deep enough to give me what I wanted. He was such a tease.
“Yes… yes… yessss.” I replied then cried out when his cock pushed inside the whole way for two solid thrusts before he removed it again. “No!” I almost sobbed earning myself a sexy chuckle.
“There’s one thing I really want. Do you want to know what?” He whispered while dancing his lips along the shell of my ear and swishing his cock from side to side, up and down with the occasional shallow penetration. I nodded while my chest heaved because I was so aroused I didn’t think I had it in me to say words. “You’ll need to be a good little soldier and stay right here. Keep quiet. Can you do that, Captain?” He asked, giving my throat a little squeeze.
“Yes… yes…” I whimpered, willing to give him anything he wanted if only he would make me come.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Sir… Colonel.” I repeated with his honorific and rank. He smiled, licked his lower lip then removed my shirt and unhooking his arm. He looked at me with a silent order to not drop my leg. Bringing his hand away from my throat, I whimpered at its loss until he pinched a nipple between two fingers that had me clamping my lips and eyes shut while furrowing my brow to stop from crying out.
“That’s a good little soldier.” He complimented then slowly kissed and nipped his way down my body stopping at each breast, then my belly before running his nose through my curls.
The feeling of his hand running up the underneath of my raised leg brought warm chills to my body when the hard musculature of his deltoid slipped underneath to brace it while his hand cupped the globe of my ass in such a way that his fingers teased the strip of skin at the bottom edge of my channel while his free hand splayed on my stomach to hold me against the wall.
At the first touch of his tongue, I nearly disobeyed orders by crying out, but instead I opened my mouth wide and huffed while delving my fingers into his hair making him groan and sink both his fingers and his tongue inside me together. The raspy feel of his day-old facial hair on the inside of my thighs while he dipped and dived his tongue in my most intimate place was both chaffing and glorious. As I got closer, my fingers pressed harder into his head and tugged his hair lower and lower as if doing so would make him push his tongue deeper. He groaned and lathed me harder, flicking his tongue across my clit until it felt red hot and tingly, his fingers pumping in and out in time with his flicking.
“Taste so good, Sam. So… so good.” He muttered and delved his tongue deep while pulling his fingers out making me almost whimper. When his middle finger slick with my wetness pushed into my pucker, I had to clamp my lips together and hyperventilate through my nose to follow his order. He chuckled then slipped his pointer finger back inside like a set of finger scissors – one in my ass, the other in my pussy – and pushed them in and out then clamped his lips around my clit, sucking and flicking pulling a straggling moan preceding the screaming cry that I let loose but managed to stifle with one hand while the other twisted in his short hair and pulled.
Almost immediately, he climbed up and clamped his mouth over mine while hoisting me up with both hands so he could slam his cock home, his fingers still scissored inside me.
“Love how kinky you are, Carter.” He muttered and groaned as he thrust heavily. “How am I supposed to follow the regs with you in my team?” He asked rhetorically since we already knew there would be more breaking of the regs in the future. We simply couldn’t help ourselves.
“Permission… to... speak… Sir!” I huffed and squeaked.
“Permission… fucking… granted… Captain.” He replied with one word for each thrust of his hips.
“The hair thing is hot.” I replied breathlessly. “Now kiss me and make me come. Sir.” I ordered receiving a full sexy grin and groan when I squeezed my thighs and abdominal muscles.
“Yes, Ma’am!” He replied, leaning his head forwards to take my lips while the hand that held him back from the wall, wrapped itself back around my throat and pulsed in time with his thrusts. Fuck. He was the first man to know what I needed without making it all about him. When he got closer, he ripped his mouth from mine and started chanting my name hotly in my ear. I was already there – holding the line – just waiting for him, so I turned my face into his jaw line and let the feeling of my impending orgasm take hold.
“Now, Jack! Now.” I demanded desperately. The feeling of his fingers sliding deep while his hand tightened across my larynx and trachea coincided with me pulling his hair and contracting my pelvis floor around him until he choked out a strangled groan of release and pushed his cock so deep that I couldn’t hold back any longer. Thankfully, his hand moved from my throat to cover my mouth allowing me to clamp down on the meaty part of his palm as we shook through our respective climaxes.
We leaned against each other and the wall – him still holding me firmly in place – for a while just catching our breath. At length, we separated, and he gently lowered me to the ground and made sure I could still stand, but didn’t move away.
“So, this thing. Probably need some ground rules.” He said, his dark eyes fixed on mine.
“Yes, Sir.” I agreed, running my eyes over his sweat slicked skin. Reaching out to his shoulders, I pushed my fingers in the muscles making him groan.
“Not off-world, and not on base.” He muttered as I ran them up the sides of his neck and into his hair pressed just the way I knew he liked. “God, Carter.” He moaned, his eyes falling shut.
“OK. Hotels or at home?” I asked as I tugged the hair behind his ears and scratched along his hairline.
“Either, both… I’ll show you a place to put your car that’s not on the street.” He offered. That was probably a good idea since my vintage Volvo was very noticeable.
“Good idea. If anyone asks, the guy I’m seeing is called…” I thought for a moment, “Simon.” I added, settling on a name that people wouldn’t match to him.
“Simon. Why Simon?”
“I don’t know. It’s a name not anything like yours. I have a habit of humming after sex. Someone is bound to notice.” I confessed wondering if he had any little post coital eccentricities.
“OK. You can be Jasmine.” I smiled at his choice hoping it wasn’t because I reminded him of a Disney Princess.
“Why Jasmine?”
“You come out at night and smell fucking wonderful.” He replied with silly smile. “Oh, and Jasmine is a vine. The way you wrap your fingers around my hair is… viney.”
“Viney. Really, Sir?”
“Don’t call me Sir, or I’ll break rule one and fuck you at work.” He confessed.
“Again?” I queried, because we had fucked at work more times than anywhere else.
“In a heartbeat, Carter. There are a few rooms without cameras still.” He confirmed with a silly smile. I smiled back.
“Sit beside me at briefings.” I requested, “Not opposite.”
“Why is that?”
“Your eyes. You make me want to crawl across the table and fuck you into submission.” I confessed my own little secret.
“Jesus Carter, don’t tell me that.” He replied then leaned down and slipped his tongue between my lips in a kiss that threatened to have us going for round two. “Anything else?” He asked when we parted. I looked him and flicked my eyes down, away from him as a momentary flash of memory assaulted my mind. “Carter?” He prompted, lifting my chin up.
“Don’t die.” I whispered the impossible request. He studied me for a few ticks of the clock, then gave me a small side smile.
“OK.” He replied though his eyes had a different answer, an answer neither of us wanted to say out loud. It wasn’t something either of us could promise. “Should probably get some sleep Carter.” He added, then stepped away to go and wash up. I followed and accepted the washcloth with a muted ‘thank you’ then cleaned myself and threw the cloth in his hamper.
Today’s – rather yesterday’s – mission had been a screw up from the moment we walked through the Gate. We were bound to have more of those and sooner or later where one of us would not come home. Watching him go down had been harder than what I thought it would be. Losing people was part of being in the military but losing him filled me with an abject terror that I was not prepared to put a label to just yet. This thing we had was purely physical, a way to release the tension that built up in our everyday jobs. Everyone had something they did to relax, ours just happened to be fucking each other in new and increasingly wonderful ways.
As I walked across his room, picked up my discarded shirt and opened his door, I looked over to see him lying on his bed with his hands behind his head. “Goodnight…” I faltered a little on what to address him as but settled on leaving it at a simple ‘goodnight’. He smiled a little.
“Goodnight… Jasmine.” He replied with the fake name and closed his eyes. I smiled back as I slipped out of his room and tiptoed silently back to mine.
Slipping between the cool sheets, I rolled on my side and closed my eyes confident in the knowledge that we could keep ourselves in check and not let things get out of control. In a mindset where we weren’t strictly colleagues, but nor were we lovers.
Just two people with a thing.