Chapter Text
Simon "Ghost" Riley is many things to Soap. He's a lieutenant, a partner, a boyfriend.. and a fucking mystery.
He's had several conversations about Simon's system on several occasions. He doesn't exactly understand it, but by god does he try. He gives them space when they switch out, he asks who's fronting, hell he even uses his limited free time to research the disorder. He'd be lying if he said he knew everything, though.
He doesn't know anything about Ghost. Sure, he knows who he is, he knows him well from their missions.. but he doesn't really know him. He knows his favorite alcoholic drink, his humor, his favorite banter, but he doesn't know his love language. He doesn't know what he likes and dislikes in regards to romance or intimate relationships. He's a mystery waiting to be solved- a wall between them that Soap needs to knock down. Ghost makes that hard, though. Soap knows he's antsy about their relationship. Of course he knows Ghost wants to be in their relationship.. hell, he was the one that shoved Simon in front to confess to Soap. But still, whenever they're alone together Ghost will freeze up and switch out again. Soap has clarified over and over with Simon that Ghost isn't afraid of him, he's just afraid of intimacy. Soap understands well enough,, they've been hurt so much in the past and Ghost was made specifically to protect them. But still, Soap has tried to let Ghost know that they're safe and he doesn't want to hurt them- but every time, Ghost runs away. If only he could just have some time with Ghost without him running away or switching out..
Thankfully, that time would come soon enough.
It was a sunny day on base, and the 141 team was sat in the common room doing their usual tasks. Price trying to fix the coffee machine for the millionth time because he just refused to buy a new one, Gaz playing cards by him
self at the table, and Soap and Ghost sitting at the couches opposite each other.
Soap was doodling away in his sketchbook and not really paying attention to what the others were doing. He was too focused on capturing the stillness of the forest he had in his mind. He didn't notice Ghost had moved until he looked up and saw the other standing over his shoulder and watching him draw.
"D'yae like it? It's not done yet.. still need to git those trees right." Soap smiled and took notice of the way Ghost's shoulders were relaxed, and the general comforted posture he stood in. Looked like Simon was in front today.
Simon nodded and placed a hand on Soap's shoulder, pointing to the sketchbook with the other.
"I think the shading here's a bit off, that might help. Looks great so far Johnny." Simon leaned down and gave Soap a kiss on the temple through his mask. Soap smiled wider and rested his head on the back of the couch to look up at Simon's masked face.
"Eh, I'll deal with it later. Got a better view right 'ere anyways." He said as he gave Simon a lopsided grin.
Simon was about to speak again before a loud bang erupted from outside the barracks. Everyone in the room jumped, and without hesitation Price and Gaz rushed out to see what it was. Soap was right after them before he realized Simon was still stood motionless behind the couch. He stopped in place and hesitated a bit before jogging back.
"Simon, ye alrite?" He said as he reached up and put a hand on Simon's shoulder only to realize he was shaking like a frightened cat. Simon shoved Soap's hand away roughly and stumbled away, staring daggers at Soap. He seemed to realize what was going on and his eyes softened just a tiny bit.
Soap knew better than to try to approach again, so he put his hands up to show he had nothing on him. He noticed the way Simon was standing.. posture tall, shoulders locked and ready to punch anyone at moment's notice, jaw set.. ah, he switched out. Soap guessed Ghost had been front triggered by the sudden noise. Despite Ghost's stance, he was still shaking.
"Ghost?-" He was interrupted by Price and Gaz walking back in the room together.
"Nothing to worry about. Some newbie forgot to put the safety on his sniper and shot a tree, can you believe that?" Gaz chuckled as he sat back down at the table and continued his game. Price took a worried glance at Ghost, and Soap gave him a nod to try to let him know he had it under control. Price seemed to get the message and nodded before walking over to sit down by Gaz.
"What do yae say we go back tae yer room lad?" Soap placed a slow and gentle hand on Ghost's arm as not to frighten him. Ghost was still tense to punch, but nodded and let Soap guide him to their barracks.
Ghost only let his guard down when they stepped into the room and locked the door. He was still alert, but less shaky. Soap brought him to sit down at the edge of the bed, making sure to add some space between them so Ghost didn't feel trapped.
He looked over Ghost for a minute as he took deep breaths in and out. It was clear to Soap their trauma had been triggered, and he felt kind of awkward. He'd never dealt with this before, so he had no idea what to do.
"Thanks." Ghost mumbled under his breath as he avoided Soap's gaze.
"'s no problem. You doin' better?" Soap said as gently as he could.
Ghost nodded and rested his elbows on his knees and leaned over to let his flaxen hair fall over his eyes. Soap let him sit for a bit and watched the gentle rise and fall of his back. After a couple minutes, Ghost sat back up and looked at Soap with his eyebrows knitted together in thought and worry. Soap opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Ghost talking first.
"Can you.. lay with me?" Ghost whispered and looked away. Soap's heart broke at just how nervous Ghost looked. His usual mannerisms of power, strength, and anger all just faded away.
Soap nodded and scooted to lay down, with Ghost following. Soap shuffled a bit to get comfy and was scooped up into Ghost's arms. It shocked him a bit, but he didn't protest. Simon had always told him that Ghost was a softie at heart, but he never really believed it. Ghost was never the type of person to hug anybody. At most, all he would let Soap do was give him a one-armed squeeze. Soap respected that and assumed he just wasn't a very touchy type of guy.. but here he was, holding Soap like a teddy bear. It could just be the flashbacks, or Simon's passive influence.. but still, Soap couldn't shake the thought that maybe he didn't know Ghost as well as he thought he did.
-
Days passed, and Ghost never switched out. Soap had gotten a bit worried, but quickly took to research and learned that it's pretty normal for a protector to stay in front for a while after having to deal with trauma- but despite that he still couldn't shake his worry. He wondered if Simon was alright, and if Ghost was okay with everything happening. He wondered if Ghost needed some space or if he wanted Soap near him.. he wondered about everything, really. Ghost was never the type to be open with things, so Soap was hesitant about asking.
He and Ghost were sat in Soap's room with their backs against the metal rod headboard of Soap's bed. Soap has his computer in his lap and was typing away as Ghost read a book beside him. They sat in comfortable silence for what felt like hours, the only interruption being Soap's occasional mumbles to himself as he worked. It was nice, really. These were the moments Soap lived for; the moments of being on base with his team and the people he loved, with no active missions and time to get work done and generally be around everybody. He took pride in being a very social person, very much unlike Ghost and Simon. But still he knew they valued this time too.
Soap felt Ghost shift to look at him, and stopped his typing to look over. He met with Ghost's intense eyes and smiled.
"Ye alrite there lad? Do I 'ave something on mah face?" He laughed as he spoke.
"Just admiring the view." Ghost hummed and bookmarked where he was in his reading before setting the book down on the nightstand beside him. He scooted a bit closer to Soap and rested his head on the other's shoulder, sighing and closing his eyes and earning a noiseless chuckle from Soap.
"Ye've been more cuddly lately, I've noticed. I like it." Soap said and continued clacking away at his keyboard.
Ghost shuffled a bit closer and wrapped his arms around Soap's midsection, causing Soap to grin and look up.
"Oh now you're just doin' it 'cause I like it. You sure you're alrite?" He reached over to ruffle Ghost's hair, earning a groan and a gloved hand swiping his away. Ghost sighed and buried his face deeper into Soap's shoulder.
"Simon likes it." Ghost grumbled into the fabric of Soap's shirt.
"Ah." Soap set his laptop aside and turned a bit to rub Ghost's back. "You know yae don't need to do things just for him. Do whatever makes yae happy, you're in control of the body,"
Ghost shook his head in response. Soap decided not to push any further and let him sit in silence for a moment. They slipped into that comfortable silence once more as Soap continued to rub circles in the other's back. After a long moment, Ghost gripped onto Soap a bit tighter before whispering,
"I like it too."
Soap smiled fondly and gave Ghost's hair a quick kiss. They didn't say anything else- they didn't need to. They sat like that for hours, enjoying each other's presence.
Soap was proud of Ghost, honestly. He knew something that seems as small as this is huge to Ghost. He knew it was hard for Ghost to even let Soap hug him, let alone start a cuddle session like this. He was so, so proud.. and secretly, he hoped Ghost would keep trying to come out of his shell a bit.