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Jared’s purring when he wakes up.
He hasn’t done that in… far too long to remember. He shakes his head to rid himself of those painful, horrible thoughts and memories and focuses on now. Jensen is still asleep, snoring softly, and Jared can’t help but smile, his purr growing louder.
He has a feeling that he’s going to have to get used to waking up purring if he’s going to continue sleeping with Jensen. Which he very much wants to do. Even if that means having to also get used to sleeping in a bed.
He pushes up slightly, head tilted to the side as he watches Jensen sleep. Since he’s known Jensen, the man has always had a sadness in his eyes, in his expression. In sleep, that all goes away, making him look younger and impossibly even more beautiful. It makes Jared happy to see it. And he hopes that now that they’re mates that Jensen will look that way even when he’s awake.
Mates. Jared grins, feels his cheeks heat slightly and his whole body hum pleasantly. After what happened to him, he never thought that he’d get away from the men who took him – actually he didn’t even think he’d live through the ordeal on more occasions than he can count – but he sure as hell never thought that he’d find a mate. But now, not only is he alive and free, he has a mate. Granted, Jensen isn’t a were but that’s okay. Mating with a human isn’t done a lot but it’s not completely unheard of either. Jensen is sweet and kind and beautiful and Jared loves him. Even though he’s not a were, he saved Jared, he takes care of Jared, he loves Jared, just like an alpha would.
Jared’s smile softens, turns a little sad, his fingers gently brushing over Jensen’s freckled cheeks, the slope of his nose, down over the rasp of stubble on his chin. He wishes that his family, at least his momma, could see how happy Jared is now, that she could know that he’s okay – at least now he is – and that he’s found love, found the perfect mate for him. Maybe one day he’ll get the courage to ask Jensen to take him home for a visit, just to let them know. He’s sure they’ve already mourned him but he’d like to at least let them know that he’s alive and that he’s okay. He can’t actually return to the pride but at least maybe a visit isn’t out of the question.
But that’s a worry for the future.
Jensen’s eyes blink open slowly, his head turning automatically into the barely-there touch of Jared’s fingers. Those emerald-green depths lock onto him, a slow, lazy, sexy smile curling up his plump lips, and Jared’s heart skips a beat, his breath catching in his throat.
“Mornin’,” Jensen murmurs. Jared purrs in return, dipping his head to nuzzle under Jensen’s jaw. From their mating yesterday, Jensen smells a little like Jared and it makes him happy, makes him want Jensen to smell like him completely, like a mate is supposed to. He rubs his face against Jensen’s neck, his chest, Jared’s tail twitching lazily. Jensen chuckles, a soft but rough sound that sends heat through Jared’s entire body, and slides one hand into his hair, tips of his fingers gently scratching at Jared’s scalp. Jared closes his eyes, purring louder, hoping that Jensen gets the unspoken hint and doesn’t stop.
Jensen slides his other arm around Jared’s waist, pulling him against his side completely – they’d managed to drift apart a bit in their sleep – and turns his head, pressing a kiss to Jared’s temple. “You okay?” Jensen asks softly, concern barely concealed in his tone.
Jared pulls back enough to look up at his mate – his mate, he still can’t really wrap his head around it – and tilts his head to the side, brow furrowed in confusion. Why wouldn’t Jared be okay? He’s warm and happy and safe, wrapped in his mate’s arms. There’s even a slow burn of arousal coursing through his veins. Sure, he’s still got a way to go in his recovery and he knows things won’t always be this easy between them but at the moment, he’s more than okay.
Jensen’s hand slides down his back, over the curve of his ass, one eyebrow quirked. It takes a few seconds but Jared gets what he’s silently trying to ask and he can’t help but laugh. Jensen’s eyes soften even more and his smile brightens. “Love when you laugh,” he whispers, almost sounding like he’s talking to himself.
Jared leans up and presses a kiss to the corner of Jensen’s lips. “’m good,” Jared replies quietly, wincing internally at how hoarse and rough his voice still sounds. Before he met Jensen, before Jensen coaxed him into talking again, it had been nearly six years since he’d actually spoken to anyone – he stopped begging the men that hurt him after a few months, it did no good anyway.
Jensen’s arms tighten around him and he brushes a quick, chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. “Good,” he replies simply. He still looks a little concerned though. Jared wonders if that look will ever go away completely.
For a long few moments, they lay in comfortable silence. The slow burn that Jared was feeling has started to burn hotter, his body slowly becoming more and more aware of the long line of Jensen’s warm, muscular frame pressed tight against his own, the way his mate keeps playing with his hair – alternating between scratching his scalp and petting him – and even his ears. He can’t even express how grateful he is that Jensen doesn’t seem to mind his ears and his tail, that he treats them as just another part of Jared instead of some oddity that makes him a freak.
He makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, pushing his hips closer to Jensen, his half-hard cock rubbing against Jensen’s thick thigh muscle. Jensen’s fingers flex in his hair, his lips parting softly, and Jared feels Jensen’s cock twitch in response, the long, thick length hardening against Jared’s hip. He’s already started leaking, his hole fluttering and clenching around nothing, the muscles loosening to prepare him for his mate. He’s even more turned-on, more desperate, than he was when they did this the first time and Jared tries to push past his muddled thoughts, the brief discussion the day before about heats coming back. He closes his eyes, tries to think back, to remember when his last heat was. The people that took him either didn’t know, didn’t care, or didn’t understand his biyearly heats. They didn’t bother with suppressants or birth control – other than making the men use condoms every time – and in fact charged more the week that Jared was in heat.
It’s hard to think. He can smell is own arousal and the beginning of Jensen’s. The days, weeks, years that he spent in his cage all kind of ran together and he’s not even sure how long he’s been with Jensen exactly. But he does know that it’s at least been a few months, maybe a little longer.
Jared squeezes his eyes closed and buries his face in Jensen’s neck. He presented early as an omega at the age of thirteen. His first heat was that day in July. His second was in January. The men took him right after his third one, when he’d just turned fourteen. And while the days aren’t always exact, it’s always the middle of July and the middle of January.
“Jay? Baby?” Jensen’s voice is low but thick with concern again, his hands gentle on Jared’s back now. Jared pulls his head back and looks up at his mate. Jensen’s eyes widen and he reaches up, palming one of Jared’s cheeks. Jared isn’t sure what Jensen is seeing on his face but whatever it is obvious upsets his mate. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
Jensen’s thumb brushes beneath Jared’s eye and it’s only then that Jared realizes he’s on the verge of tears. “Wh-” Jared clears his throat, swallows thickly. “What month?” he asks, voice rougher, harsher, than it has been since he first started talking to Jensen.
Jensen’s brow furrows and he tilts his head to the side a bit, studying Jared. “July,” he answers quietly.
Jared makes a soft, wounded sound in the back of his throat and scrambles to pull away from Jensen. He ends up falling off the side of the bed in his haste, landing hard on his hip, but ignores the flash of pain as he crawls toward the corner, curling up as small as he can. No. Damnit, no! This can’t be happening, not this soon. They just worked things out the day before. It’s too soon. Jensen’s going to freak out and leave Jared, abandon him, leave him alone and afraid, possibly even take him back…
“Jared!”
Jared flinches, opens his eyes – he didn’t even know he’d closed them – and looks up through his lashes. Jensen’s kneeling in front of him, eyes wide with panic, his hands shaking where they’re curled around Jared’s shoulders.
“Baby, talk to me, please? Tell me what’s wrong?”
Jensen’s warm, mellow scent washes over Jared, simultaneously soothing him and arousing him even more. He whimpers when a fresh pulse of slick wets the curve of his ass, the warmth that he was just barely feeling a few minutes ago burning hotter through him. He wants to run away, wants to curl up in Jensen’s arms and feel safe and loved again. He doesn’t want to tell Jensen what’s going on but his mate looks so scared, so worried. This is the first time since meeting the human that Jared wishes he was a were. If Jensen was an alpha, he’d scent Jared’s heat and just know.
“Jared?” Jensen urges softly.
“Heat,” Jared grits out, turning his head away and closing his eyes. He doesn’t want to see whatever expression will twist Jensen’s beautiful face. He doesn’t want to watch Jensen walk away from him.
He thought that they’d have more time. And when he told Jensen the day before that he’d just know when Jared was in heat, he’d meant that. Because he thought they’d have time for Jensen to get used to him more, to get a chance to see just regular arousal and the need of his heat and he’d be able to tell the difference.
Jared gasps, his eyes flying open, when strong, warm arms wrap around him, pulling him away from the corner and nearly into Jensen’s lap. Jensen tucks Jared’s head beneath his chin and holds him tight, humming softly – very nearly a purr – and Jared’s eyes sting with tears, his bottom lip trembling. In fact, his whole body is trembling.
Jensen buries his face in Jared’s hair, nuzzling his nose through the sweat-damp strands and Jared feels himself relaxing just a bit more. For a human, Jensen is very good at knowing how to soothe, how to almost-purr and nuzzle and cuddle, just like he’s a werecat too.
“Tell me what you need, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs against Jared’s ear, his warm, moist breath making Jared shiver.
Before Jared can say anything, a strong cramp hits him and he whimpers again, curling closer to Jensen’s chest, his own arms wrapping around himself. “Jay? Are you… Does it hurt?” Jensen asks, his tone even more panicked and concerned.
Jared grits his teeth as he waits for the cramp to subside. But he can feel the steady ache creeping through his entire body, especially his groin – his entrance – and he lets out a strained sigh. “Aches,” Jared finally mutters. “Everywhere,” he adds before Jensen can ask, “Cramps,” he grabs Jensen’s hand and presses it to his stomach.
“What can I do to help?” Jensen whispers.
Jared finally looks up at his mate. Those emerald-green eyes are wide with concern and a fair bit of panic but Jared can still see the love that he saw this morning when Jensen first woke up. It surprises him. He thought for sure that Jensen would run, or at the very least be disgusted, even though he was the one to bring up heats the day before.
“You…” Jared pauses, blinking owlishly, his throat tight with emotion. “You’re not disgusted?” he eventually asks, words halting, feeling like they’re scraping his already raw, sensitive throat. “Angry?”
“No, baby,” Jensen replies instantly, tone soft but firm. “Never. Why would you think that?”
“’s… ‘s only been a day,” Jared mutters. Distantly, he’s proud of himself for being able to actually string together a full sentence, proud that he’s getting used to, getting better at, talking to Jensen.
Jensen reaches up and gently grabs both sides of Jared’s face, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “I knew about your heats before we… before we mated yesterday,” Jensen murmurs. “Remember? I mean, sure, I didn’t think it’d happen so soon but it’s… Jared, it’s okay,” he assures. “I promise.” He dips down and presses a sweet but chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. “My… research didn’t really go into specifics so I don’t know exactly what’s going on or what to do to help but whatever you need, I’m here, okay?”
A few tears break free, trickling down Jared’s cheeks. Jensen wipes them away and kisses Jared again. “Don’t cry, love,” Jensen whispers against his lips. “’m here. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
Jared sniffles softly and leans into the touch of his mate’s hands, his eyes fluttering closed. “Need you,” he says simply.
“You got me, Jay,” Jensen replies just as simply.
“Could get pregnant,” Jared whispers.
“Are… Are you fertile every heat?”
“No,” Jared sighs, reopening his eyes to look up at Jensen. “But I… never know… when I am.”
“So it’s just… basically chance? Whether or not you have a fertile heat?”
“Yeah,” Jared breathes. “’m sorry…” he adds quietly, ducking his head.
“No,” Jensen gently grasps his chin and tips his head back up, “there’s nothin’ to be sorry for, sweetheart.” He inhales deeply, exhales slowly, one hand sliding back into his hair again. “I know that yesterday you said that mates don’t use condoms but if you… I will, if you want me to, if you’re worried…”
“Aren’t you?” Jared interrupts softly.
Jensen smiles softly as he quietly searches Jared’s eyes for a few, eternity-long moments. “Actually, no, I’m not,” he says quietly, surprise in his tone. “I… I want a family, kids, but if you aren’t ready, we can take precautions.”
Jared feels fresh tears pooling in his eyes – freaking hormones – and swallows thickly. He can feel his cheeks heating with embarrassment before he even opens his mouth, knowing that he needs to explain to Jensen exactly what he needs to calm his heat but embarrassed to have to even say it. “I can’t… I have to…” Jared huffs out a sigh and leans forward, his forehead pressing against Jensen’s collarbone.
Jensen rubs one hand up and down his back, presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Whatever you need to say, just say it, Jay,” he murmurs. “You can tell me anything.”
“Mate’s seed eases the aches,” Jared mutters.
“Oh,” Jensen breathes. “Oookay… So, no condoms then.” He nuzzles through Jared’s hair for a moment before asking, “Does… Is there a kind of birth control for weres?”
“Yeah,” Jared sighs. “Hard to get outside pride.”
“Would we have time? How quickly will things get bad?”
“Soon,” Jared whispers. “Maybe hours. Probably sooner.”
“Okay,” Jensen says softly, pressing one more kiss to the top of Jared’s head. “Anything else I need to know right now? Before we get started or before things get too bad?”
Jared shakes his head, presses a kiss to Jensen’s heart. “Thank you,” he whispers.
“You don’t ever have to thank me for takin’ care’a you, Jay,” Jensen whispers back. Jared’s heart slams against his ribs and his whole body warms even more. “C’mon, let’s get up off the floor, yeah?”
Jared reluctantly untangles himself from Jensen. His mate stands up quickly and holds a hand out to Jared, playfully wiggling his fingers. Jared looks up and can’t stop a grin from spreading over his face at the look in Jensen’s eyes, the smile curling up his plump lips. Jared slips his hand into Jensen’s, lets him pull Jared to his feet as well. Before Jared can move away, Jensen pulls him into his arms, against his broad, strong chest, his arms sliding around Jared’s waist.
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs before kissing Jared, slow and sweet and tender, just a hint of tongue. “Either way, it’ll be okay.”
Jared smiles and cuddles closer to Jensen’s chest. He believes Jensen with his whole heart, his soul.
Jensen carefully walks Jared backward toward the bed, his hands sliding down over the curve of Jared’s ass then up over his hips, his sides. Jared’s lips part and he closes his eyes, fresh burst of arousal shooting through his entire body. Jensen nuzzles under his jaw and Jared can hear him inhaling deeply, the low rumble of the moan from his mate making his knees weak.
“Smell so good, baby,” Jensen breathes.
Jared feels the mattress against the back of his legs but Jensen doesn’t let him go right away. Plump, wet lips brush against Jared’s already thundering pulse and Jared lets his head fall backward, offering Jensen more room, silently begging for more. Jensen doesn’t disappoint. His teeth scrape over the sensitive skin before he bites down gently. Jared’s whole body jerks, fresh slick trickling from his hole, his cock twitching against Jensen’s hip.
“Jen,” Jared moans. “More…”
Jensen bites down again, a little harder and Jared moans again, one hand coming up to grab the back of Jensen’s neck, his other hand gripping Jensen’s hip. Jensen hums and licks the same spot then sucks and bites at it, leaving the skin wet and stinging slightly. Jared’s sure there will be a bruise and he kind of wants to beg Jensen to mark him everywhere.
Jensen’s hands end up on his waist, their hips pressed together, and the hard, hot length of Jensen’s cock is pressed against Jared’s own erection. Jensen kisses and nips along his jaw, back up to his lips, as he rocks his hips forward. Jared gasps and Jensen’s tongue slips between his lips, kissing him slow but passionate.
Jared’s panting when he pulls away from the kiss, his whole body trembling with need and arousal. His knees feel weak and he’s pretty sure the only reason he’s not in a puddle on the floor is because of Jensen’s grip on him. Unable to wait anymore, Jared turns them around and gently pushes Jensen down onto the mattress. His mate looks up at him, smiling but his gaze is heated. Jared bites down on his tingling bottom lip and crawls onto the bed, gently nudging Jensen to move backward. Jensen does as he silently requests, moving until he’s in the middle of the mattress, leaning back against the headboard.
Jared grabs Jensen’s broad shoulders to steady himself and throws one leg over Jensen’s, settling down in his lap. Jensen moans softly, his hands once again gripping Jared’s hips, pulling him closer, their chests pressing together. Jared can feel the ache getting worse – being this close to Jensen both helps and doesn’t – and he can feel himself leaking, is sure that he’s making one hell of a mess of both of them. He cringes slightly and tries to shift away a bit – Jensen hadn’t seemed put off by his natural slick the day before but Jared’s a hell of a lot wetter this time.
But Jensen just pulls him closer, his hands sliding around Jared, over the curve of his ass, down the underside, tips just brushing his inner thighs. Jensen groans and slides his fingers back up, through Jared’s slick, pushing between his asscheeks. “Fuck, baby,” Jensen growls – wow, that is a sexy freaking noise and Jared shudders as more slick leaks out, no doubt drenching Jensen’s fingers. “So wet,” he breathes. Jared ducks his head slightly, his cheeks heating with another flash of embarrassment – when he was with the men that took him and the other men that hurt him, they’d always tease him when he was in heat, would make the most horrifying, humiliating comments about his slick. “God, ‘s fuckin’ hot,” Jensen adds, leaning up and smashing their lips together again.
Jared makes a noise in the back of his throat, pulling away from the kiss reluctantly to look at his mate. “Really?” he asks softly, unable to hide the insecurity in his tone.
“Hell yeah,” Jensen breathes. “Plus,” he mutters and Jared’s eyes widen when he sees a blush creep across Jensen’s cheeks as well, “it… I love knowin’ that I make you feel like this, that this,” he smears his fingers through his slick again, presses the tips of two fingers against his hole, “is for me.”
“Yours,” Jared breathes without even thinking about it. It’s true. “Want you so much. Need you, Jensen.”
“Like I said, you got me, sweetheart,” Jensen smiles softly. Jared returns the smile with one of his own, shy and a little sheepish. Jensen reaches up with one hand and grabs a handful of Jared’s hair, gently tugging him down, their lips hovering together, just barely a ghost of a touch. “I love you,” he whispers.
“Love you,” Jared replies softly.
Jensen slides their lips together, his tongue instantly pushing into Jared’s mouth, the kiss deepening, turning passionate and wet and hot within seconds. Jared has found in the last not even twenty-four hours that he reallylikes kissing Jensen. His hips rock forward mostly of their own accord and Jared moans into the slide of lips and tongues when his cock rubs against Jensen’s, sweat and pre-come – and probably even some of Jared’s slick – easing the way. Jensen echoes his moan, the sound rumbling from his chest into Jared’s and he squeezes his thighs around Jensen’s lean hips. To his surprise, Jensen drops the hand he had in Jared’s hair – Jared had realized pretty quickly that Jensen has a thing for his hair, not that Jared minds, he loves it in fact – and presses against the small of Jared’s back, tips of his fingers just barely brushing the base of Jared’s tail.
Jared’s hips jerk again and he lets out a low moan, fingers digging into the meat of Jensen’s broad shoulders. He never knew that his tail is apparently a hot-spot. Jensen slowly ends the kiss, dark, heavy-lidded eyes staring into Jared’s as he slides his fingers a little closer, lightly rubbing around the base. Jared’s lips part on a breathy gasp, his cock twitching. Jensen’s still watching him closely as he gently but firmly wraps his fingers around him, tugging slightly as his hand slides up the length of Jared’s tail. Jared groans, bites down on his bottom lip.
“’s feel good, baby?” Jensen asks softly. Jared can tell it’s not just dirty talk – or at least not just entirely dirty talk – that Jensen is actually curious. And probably a bit concerned.
“Yes,” Jared hisses, eyes nearly rolling back in his head when Jensen tugs on his tail again. “I… God, Jensen… I had no idea.”
Jensen raises one eyebrow but doesn’t comment, just continues to play with his tail while he swirls his fingers around Jared’s rim. He can feel his heat getting stronger, the need and the want building inside him, his whole body burning up and thrumming with it. He aches and as much as he enjoys the kissing and touching and teasing, he needs more.
Jensen slowly pushes a single finger into him, groaning as he tilts his head up, teeth scraping over Jared’s jaw. The hint of fullness is more frustrating than anything else right now and Jared whines, eyes squeezing closed as his short fingernails claw at Jensen’s shoulders.
“Jensen, please,” he breathes.
“What, baby? What’d’ya need?” Jensen murmurs.
“More,” Jared half-sobs, squirming and pushing back against Jensen’s hand.
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Jensen replies softly.
“You won’t,” Jared promises. “I… My body’s made for this.”
“What?”
“My slick… It loosens,” Jared explains, cheeks only heating slightly – he’s so turned-on, so far gone, that the embarrassment he feels is minimal at this point. His throat is starting to hurt a bit and his voice is sounding rougher, rawer, again. It’s frustrating. He likes being able to talk to Jensen, likes seeing the pride and love shining in his eyes. But more so, he needs to be able to talk to Jensen.
Jensen hums softly, stormy-green eyes once again watching carefully as he adds another finger – then another when Jared merely moans in response. “Fuck,” Jensen breathes, his cock twitching against Jared’s, fresh pre-come leaking from his slit.
Three fingers give him more of what he needs and Jared pushes back again, nearly crying out when the movement has Jensen’s fingers hitting his sweet spot. “Please,” he breathes, barely a croak of sound.
“Shh,” Jensen soothes. “It’s okay, Jay.”
Jensen lets go of his tail and grabs his hip, steadying him, and pulls his fingers away. Jared has just a moment to register – and hate – the empty feeling before the head of Jensen’s cock is pressing against his wet, loosened hole. Jared tries to push back but Jensen holds him still and pushes up into him, slowly, carefully, until he’s buried to the hilt.
Jared’s panting, his chest heaving, his entire body covered in a sheen of sweat. Jensen got both hands on his hips now, still staring up at Jared, his eyes dark but full of so many other emotions, his spit-slick lips parted and his cheeks flushed with arousal. He’s so achingly beautiful and Jared thinks, not for the first time, how very lucky he is that Jensen found him, saved him. That Jensen loves him.
Jared shifts slightly, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, the full feeling, the slight stretch, easing some of the ache, the need and the emptiness of his heat. He can feel himself clench down around Jensen, forcing his eyes to reopen when Jensen moans.
“Go ‘head, Jay,” Jensen urges quietly, lips curling into a soft, loving smile. “Move, take what you need.”
Jared tentatively rolls his hips once, not pulling off, keeping Jensen buried deep. He gasps, collapses heavily against Jensen’s chest, his arms sliding around Jensen’s back, fingers hooking over his shoulders. It feels freaking amazing – beyond amazing – so he does it again. Jensen’s hands slide around Jared, strong fingers splaying wide against his back, holding him close, as Jared falls into a rhythm. He sticks to just rocking back and forth, grinding down against Jensen’s hips, his long, thick cock rubbing against his inner walls, pressing perfectly against his prostate. His own cock is pressed tight between their sweat-slick stomachs, the tease of friction just enough to keep him on edge but not push him over, to simultaneously ease and enflame his heat.
Jared doesn’t know how long they’ve been at this but he’s drenched in sweat and his thighs are burning a little, trembling around Jensen’s hips. Jensen holds him close, kissing whatever part of Jared he can reach – his lips, his jaw, his neck, his shoulders – and whispering soothingly against his skin. Jared can’t really hear the words over the rushing of his own blood, the pounding of his own heart but the low murmur of his voice is soothing nonetheless.
He’s so close, straddling the edge of release but he just can’t quite seem to get there. He whines softly, squirms a bit and pushes impossibly closer to Jensen’s chest, tries to roll his hips harder, faster. Jensen’s hands curl around his waist, his lips brushing against the hinge of Jared’s jaw, warm, moist breath making him shiver slightly.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Close,” Jared rasps, squeezing his eyes closed, rolls his forehead against Jensen’s temple. “I can’t… Jen… Need more…”
Jensen’s hold on his waist tightens and he pulls Jared up just a bit and Jared feels him bend his legs, his thighs pressing against Jared’s ass. “I got’cha,” Jensen murmurs.
Jensen snaps his hips up, their sweat-slick skin slapping together and Jared gasps, tightens his arms around Jensen, holding on tight. Jensen urges him a little higher, Jensen’s cock almost slipping out of him, but then he thrusts up again, hard and fast. Jared chokes on a startled moan, drops his head onto Jensen’s shoulder.
“Yes,” he breathes. “Jen… God, more…”
Jensen sets a steady rhythm, thrusting up into him hard and fast, the muscles in his arms flexing as he pulls Jared down to meet each perfect stroke. Jared tries to follow his rhythm but he’s too far gone, mostly lets Jensen control not only his own movement but Jared’s as well. The room around them is silent aside from their harsh breathing and the wet sound of skin slapping against skin. Jared’s groin tightens, warmth pooling in his stomach, the base of his spine tingling. He claws weakly at Jensen’s shoulders, turns his head just enough to brush an open-mouthed, sloppy kiss to Jensen’s jaw.
“Jen… gonna…”
“C’mon, Jay,” Jensen urges breathlessly. “Come for me, baby.”
Jared cries out, his cock twitching almost painfully as he comes between them, sticky-wet release smearing across their stomachs. Jensen keeps snapping his hips, cock hitting Jared’s prostate perfectly, prolonging the almost painful pleasure. Jared moans weakly as the last few drops dribble out, his whole body shaking with nearly violent aftershocks.
Jensen’s arms wrap around him, holding him close and still, as he thrusts up into Jared a few dozen more times, hard and fast and erratic. He groans, slams his hips up one last time, cock pulsing and jerking inside Jared and he swears he can almost feel the liquid warmth of Jensen’s release.
Jared sighs happily – his heat sated for the moment – and nuzzles under Jensen’s jaw. Jensen chuckles breathlessly and rubs one hand up and down Jared’s back, other hand ending up in Jared’s hair again, carding through the sweat-damp mess of waves, occasionally slipping up far enough to tease at his ears. Jared closes his eyes and starts to purr, absently pressing kisses to Jensen’s jaw and neck and the crook of his shoulder. He can feel Jensen slowly softening but when his mate goes to move, Jared clenches down around him and tilts his hips, making sure to keep him inside as long as possible. It’s little more than instinct – if Jensen was a were, he’d have barbs that would keep him inside Jared for a bit, long enough to ensure his seed gets deep into Jared; the barbs would also serve to seal Jared’s entrance for a bit, ensuring that nothing leaks out and that no one else could get inside Jared. Plus, he just likes the feeling of Jensen inside him, mostly soft or not.
Jensen gently uses the hold on Jared’s hair to pull his head away from his shoulder, just enough to look into his eyes. “You okay?” Jensen asks softly, voice full of concern. Jared makes a soft inquisitive noise in the back of his throat. He’s not exactly sure what Jensen’s referring to. “You… You wanna stay like this?” Jensen asks carefully.
Jared’s cheeks flush and he smiles sheepishly. “Breeding,” he whispers. It’s the easiest way to explain right now. Maybe when Jared’s not in heat and his throat doesn’t feel quite so raw, he’ll explain it better.
Jensen’s brows raise and he nods. “Oh,” he breathes. “Okay.” He’s quiet for a few moments, silently searching Jared’s eyes. “And your heat?” he prompts.
“Eased up. For now,” Jared rasps.
“How long’s it last?”
“Four, five days. Or… ‘til bred.”
Jensen nods again and pulls Jared’s head back down onto his shoulder. “Okay,” he whispers. “Just. Rest for now, okay? Don’t try to talk…” Jared makes a soft noise, almost a whine. “I know your throat’s hurtin’, Jay,” Jensen adds softly. “So just rest it for me, okay?”
Jared sighs softly but nods in agreement. Jensen’s right, his throat is killing him. But Jared wants to talk to him. Not about anything really important but it’s part of the bonding between mates. Jared closes his eyes, his shoulders slumping.
“It’ll get better, baby,” Jensen murmurs. “You’ve already gotten better. Just gonna take some time, sweetheart.”
Jared feels a smile tug at his lips and he kisses Jensen’s slowing pulse. He falls asleep just like that, purring contently.
XXX
The room around his is a little darker when Jared blinks his eyes open. He doesn’t know how long he slept, doesn’t really care, but he can feel the heat rising in him again, the ache, the emptiness returning. He hears himself whine softly in the back of his throat, trying to focus his bleary eyes to find Jensen, his hand sliding across the soft, body-warm sheets.
He’s on his side, facing away from Jensen’s side of the bed. He can tell that Jensen cleaned him up – doesn’t feel the dried, flaky residue of his release or the dried stickiness of sweat and he smiles softly. There’s a long line of heat against his back and it takes his sleepy-fuzzy, heat-hazy brain a few long moments to realize that Jensen’s tucked in behind him, holding him close, one strong arm around his waist.
His fingers dance softly down Jensen’s arm to his hand, over his thick fingers. Soft, wet lips press against the nape of his neck, the arm around his waist tightening pleasantly. Jared rolls his hips back, gasping nearly silently when he feels the long, thick, hard press of Jensen’s cock against his ass. Jared moans quietly with the first pulse of his slick, rocking back against Jensen once more. Jensen shifts his hips just slightly, his cock fitting between his cheeks, rubbing through his slick, head catching on his loosened hole.
Jared turns to look over his shoulder, mouthing wetly at Jensen’s jaw. “Please,” he rasps.
To his surprise – and horror – Jensen moves away. Jared reaches back, trying to get his body to cooperate long enough to turn over, to grab his mate and beg him not to leave. “Jensen?” he whispers brokenly.
“Easy, baby,” Jensen murmurs, pressing up against his back again, the arm around Jared’s waist now holding a bottle of water, “Not goin’ anywhere.” He presses a kiss to Jared’s temple, the corner of his lips. “You need to drink something, love,” he adds softly, holding the bottle up to Jared’s lips.
Jared turns a bit onto his back, lifts his head and lets Jensen carefully pour some of the cool, refreshing water into his mouth. He drinks gratefully, not realizing until the first swallow just how thirsty he actually was. Jensen’s other arm is under his neck, his hand petting through Jared’s hair. Jared leaves half the water, pushing the bottle into Jensen’s chest. Jensen smiles and presses a kiss to his lips before drinking the rest of it down. Jared giggles when Jensen tosses the empty bottle over his shoulder blindly. Jensen’s face lights up and he palms Jared’s cheek, thumb rubbing over his dimple.
Jared closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch, rubbing his cheek against Jensen’s palm. Jensen’s lips slide against his, slow and sweet, but before he can pull away, Jared moans, his tongue flicking out and nudging at the seam of Jensen’s lips. The kiss turns heated, tongues sliding together wet and messy despite the slightly awkward angle. Jensen drops his hand to Jared’s hip, holding him steady as Jensen rocks his hips forward, his hard length rubbing against the back of Jared’s thigh.
Jared pulls away from the kiss with a gasp and shifts back around onto his side, snuggling back against Jensen’s chest. Jensen’s arms are still wrapped around him, their bodies lined up all the way down to their feet. Jared pushes his hips back, whimpering when Jensen’s cock once again slides through his crack.
“Jensen…”
“Like this?” Jensen asks softly, nuzzling against the side of Jared’s head, hips rolling constantly, teasingly, so close to what Jared needs but so far away.
“Yes,” Jared breathes. “Need you.”
Jensen hums softly and lets go of his hold on Jared long enough to reach between them and line himself up. Jared moans, his head pressing back against Jensen’s shoulder, Jensen’s lips and teeth latching onto the line of Jared’s throat as he pushes in, slow but steady, until he’s buried to the hilt.
“So good, Jay,” Jensen murmurs. He’s not moving but Jared can feel his whole body trembling with the exertion of staying still. Jared appreciates it but doesn’t need it. When he’s not in the middle of his heat, he really needs to sit Jensen down and explain how his body works to his mate. “So tight, so wet,” he groans. “Feels fuckin’ amazin’, baby.”
Jared hums in agreement and reaches back, fingers digging into Jensen’s thigh. He clenches down and rolls his hips back a bit, wordlessly urging Jensen into moving. Jensen groans again and draws his hips back, pushing forward a little faster, pushing in deeper and Jared chokes on a broken moan. Jensen is long and thick and hits all the right places inside Jared, lighting him up like a live wire.
Jensen’s teeth scrape over the crook of Jared’s neck and Jared mewls, tipping his head further to the side. If Jensen was a were, that’s the spot that he’d mark Jared, the spot were a mating bite would go. Jensen licks over the spot, bites down harder, sucking the tender flesh between his lips as he starts to move, falling into a rhythm that takes Jared’s breath away.
Jared moves against him, hips rolling back into each perfect thrust and reaches back, palming the back of Jensen’s head, keeping him pressed against Jared’s throat. He may not get a traditional mating bite but he can feel Jensen sucking and biting at the spot, unknowingly marking Jared as his the best he can.
Surprisingly, Jared finds himself close to the edge a lot faster this time. His groin tightens and he moans when a fresh pulse of slick oozes from inside him, feels his whole body starting to tremble. Jensen slides one hand down his stomach, thick fingers curling around his leaking, aching cock, stroking him in time with the pace and rhythm of his hips. Jensen mouths wetly at the spot that he’s been nipping and sucking then bites down again, his cock hitting Jared’s prostate just right and his wrist twists perfectly beneath the head of Jared’s dick and Jared’s orgasm slams into him like a wrecking ball, not even giving him a chance to open his mouth and let Jensen know.
Jensen pulls back and slams back in, hard and fast and deep, holding Jared tight against his chest as he still somehow manages to stroke Jared through the rest of his climax even as he trips over the edge himself. He lets out a startled groan and buries his face in the curve of Jared’s neck, panting against his spit-slick, tender skin, his whole body trembling almost as bad as Jared’s.
“Holy crap,” Jensen gasps breathlessly once they’ve both stopped twitching, their bodies relaxed against the mattress and tangled together. Jared hums sleepily in agreement. Jensen nuzzles under his jaw and Jared turns his head, smiling softly when Jensen brushes their lips together. “Love you,” Jensen whispers into the kiss.
“Mm, love you,” Jared echoes. He closes his eyes and turns his head back around, leaning it back against Jensen’s shoulder again. He realizes then that he’s still gripping Jensen’s thigh and starts gently kneading the muscle, purring softly.
Jensen keeps his hips tucked up against Jared, stays buried inside him for as long as possible. Jared sighs softly when Jensen slips free of his body and uses the last bit of his energy to turn around – now that he’s sated again, he registers how uncomfortable that position is, his tail awkwardly flattened against his back – and curls up against Jensen’s chest. Jensen presses a kiss to his forehead, humming softly, nearly echoing Jared’s purr.
XXX
The next time Jared wakes up – his heat makes him so tired – the room is much darker, nearly pitch-black, just a small sliver of pale moonlight streaming through the open curtains. Jensen’s asleep on his back and Jared’s sprawled across his chest, head resting over his mate’s heart.
His heat spikes again and Jared tries to shift away, not wanting to wake his poor sleeping mate. But as soon as he moves, Jensen’s eyes flutter open and he inhales deeply, likely able to scent Jared’s arousal, his sleep-hazy eyes warm when he looks down at Jared.
“Again?” he rasps.
Jared cringes and ducks his head, cheeks heating with embarrassment. He knows that he’s clingy and needy and he doesn’t blame Jensen for already being tired of him. “’m sorry,” he mutters, once again trying to move away.
Jensen wraps his arms tighter around Jared and flips them over. Jared blinks up at his mate in surprise. “Got nothin’ to be sorry about, Jared,” Jensen states, soft but firm.
Jared wrinkles his nose and lowers his eyes. “Too needy,” he whispers.
“You’re in heat, baby,” Jensen murmurs, gripping Jared’s chin gently, silently urging Jared to look up at him. Even through the fear and humiliation, Jared can’t help but think it’s adorable that Jensen is explaining this tohim, like Jared’s the human here. “You can’t help what your body does, or needs,” Jensen continues once Jared’s eyes are focused on his again. “And honestly?” Jensen grins and shrugs one shoulder, “I kinda like that you need me so much.”
Jensen shifts a little, scooting closer, tucking his thighs beneath Jared’s ass. Jared’s tail flips around, flicking and curling around Jensen’s legs and Jensen grins, dipping down to kiss him. Jared opens automatically to Jensen’s tongue, getting lost in the increasingly familiar slide of lips and tongues but still surprised by how much just kissing Jensen heats his blood.
He doesn’t feel Jensen reach down between them but he pulls away with a gasp, eyes wide when he feels Jensen sink into him. Jensen’s hard and hot inside him and Jared honestly hadn’t even realized it until that moment. He digs his fingers into Jensen’s shoulders, writhing and arching beneath his mate. Jensen doesn’t wait like he did last time. He immediately starts moving, slow and steady and kind of achingly perfect.
“Need you just as much, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs, dipping down to kiss Jared again, his arms sliding under Jared’s back when Jared arches against him again. “So perfect for me,” he whispers into the kiss, words smeared against Jared’s lips.
Jared moans softly, his legs wrapping around Jensen’s waist, his hips rolling up to meet every thrust. He claws weakly at Jensen’s back and shoulders. He can’t believe that he still feels that same bone-deep need that he woke up with that morning, that he still feels a little empty and hollow, considering this is the third time that they’ve done this today.
“Jensen,” he breathes, leaning up, teeth scraping over the stubbled curve of Jensen’s jaw.
Jensen turns his head, their lips sliding together again, slow and steady like the roll of Jensen’s hips. Jared melts into the kiss, his body tingling everywhere that they’re touching. The pleasure goes so far beyond just the physical. He can feel it in his heart, his soul, and he can’t help but wonder if Jensen feels it too, if his human mate is as overwhelmed by it all like Jared is.
Jared’s eyes flutter open and he whines softly when Jensen ends the kiss. His mate smiles down at him, eyes dark and glittering, cheeks flushed with arousal. He’s so damn beautiful and he’s all Jared’s – that realization keeps hitting him kind of randomly and it kind of shocks Jared every time.
Jensen’s arms tighten around him and he shifts his legs a bit, his rhythm slowing to an eventual stop. Before Jared can whimper or beg or even take a breath, Jensen sits back, muscles flexing as he pulls Jared with him. Jared’s legs are still wrapped around Jensen’s hips, his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, their chests pressed together, but sitting up like this manages to push Jensen’s cock into him a bit deeper and Jared cries out, eyes slamming closed as his head falls back slightly.
Jensen’s hands drop to his waist, urging Jared into a rhythm, both of them moving together. They’re pressed so close together, entangled so much that even Jared is having a hard time telling where he ends and Jensen begins. Jensen tilts his head up, mouthing wetly at the hinge of Jared’s jaw.
“Jay,” he breathes, fingers flexing against Jared’s waist hard enough that Jared’s pretty sure he’ll have bruises – he can’t wait to see them, to press his own fingers against the marks and feel the slight ache, “feel so good, baby. Love the way you feel against me, around me.” Jared purrs loudly, tilting his head back toward Jensen, rubbing their cheeks together – unconsciously, or not, scent-marking his mate – his own fingers digging into Jensen’s shoulders, hopes that he’s leaving matching marks on his mate’s fair, freckled skin. “Gonna come, love,” he rasps.
Jared somehow manages to let go of Jensen’s shoulder and shoves one hand into the nearly nonexistent space between their stomachs. He mewls when he wraps his fingers around his cock, hips jerking erratically, falling out of the smooth rhythm that he and Jensen had fallen into.
“You close, Jared?” Jensen murmurs, almost a purr. Jared chokes on a broken moan in response, unable to find the words or even the ability to speak. He picks up the pace, stripping his cock harder and faster, whimpering and keening, still clinging to Jensen’s broad shoulders with one arm. “That’s it, baby,” Jensen encourages. “Do it. Wanna feel you come apart for me. Wanna feel you clench down around me… Feels so fuckin’ amazin’, sweetheart.”
Jared’s never heard Jensen talk like that. He’s heard dirty talk before but it had always been humiliating and degrading and Jared had always hated it. But hearing Jensen’s voice, low and rough, rumbling from his chest, his silky tone nearly caressing the words, has Jared moaning, the hand not stripping his own cock sliding up to grab the short hair on the back of Jensen’s head as best as he can, as he falls apart for Jensen, just like his mate said.
He cries out hoarsely with his orgasm, body trembling so hard he’s momentarily afraid he’s going to shake apart – is pretty sure he would if not for the strength of Jensen’s hold around him. He comes nearly dry, cock twitching and pulsing almost painfully as he clings to Jensen. His mate growls – the sound makes Jared shiver with a violent aftershock – low in his throat and thrusts up at the same time that he pulls Jared down, his cock so deep Jared thinks he can feel it on the back of his tongue, the thick length jerking as Jensen comes as well.
Jared lets go of his softening cock and melts against Jensen’s chest, eyes closed, his tail flicking lazily. Jensen presses a kiss to his temple and squeezes his arms around Jared a little, humming softly – Jared thinks it’s sweet and adorable that he’s trying so hard to mimic Jared’s purring. He half-dozes, protesting weakly when after a few long minutes Jensen carefully, gently lays him down onto the mattress. His mate smiles at him and flops down next to him, automatically pulling Jared against his side.
“Rest for a bit, okay?” Jensen asks softly. “Then we’ll eat and take a shower. Or a bath. How’s that sound?”
“Perfect,” Jared sighs, snuggling closer.
XXX
Jared wakes a bit later to Jensen softly carding his fingers through his hair. He smiles sleepily up at his mate and snuggles closer to his chest, leaning up at nuzzle under his chin, purring softly. “You hungry, sweetheart?” Jensen asks quietly, his other hand rubbing comfortingly up and down Jared’s back.
Jared hums in agreement. Jensen pulls back – kissing the brief pout that Jared gives him away – and gets up off the mattress, reaching out to help Jared up as well. His legs are wobbly and he leans heavily against Jensen’s side, grateful for his mate’s warm, strong arms around him.
Once in the kitchen Jensen digs in the refrigerator and pulls out some deli lunch meat and cheese. They don’t even bother to make sandwiches, just eating handfuls while standing together, leaning against the center island – or well, Jensen leans against the center island and Jared leans against Jensen. They don’t talk much, mostly just eating and sneaking kisses between bites, pressing as close together as possible. Once they finish, Jensen grabs both of Jared’s hands and tugs him back down the hallway, Jensen walking backward, smiling softly, emerald-green eyes glittering. He leads them into the bathroom and pushes Jared up against the sink, letting go of his hands in favor of sinking his fingers into Jared’s hair, using the hold to pull Jared into a sweet, languid kiss.
“Shower or bath?” Jensen asks against his lips.
Jared hums softly in thought, nuzzling his nose against Jensen’s just to hear his mate huff out a soft chuckle. “Bath,” he answers quietly, the thought of relaxing in Jensen’s arms in the nice, warm water sending pleasant tingles down his spine.
Jensen grins and presses a kiss to the tip of Jared’s nose before pulling away. He turns on the water then pulls Jared back against his side, arm around his waist, fingers idly brushing over his hip. Jared purrs softly and leans into Jensen, affectionately rubbing against his shoulder, the side of his face. There’s still a low thrum of arousal beating beneath his skin but it’s not all-consuming like it has been all day so he doesn’t do anything about it, actually content with just feeling the low level lust but not acting on it.
Once the tub is half full, Jensen steps in first, leaning against the back, his legs spread open. Jared climbs in as well, settling into the open V of Jensen’s thighs, reclining mostly on his hip because of his tail, and leaning back against Jensen’s chest. Jensen wraps his arms around Jared and Jared closes his eyes, moaning softly at the feeling of the warm water soothing away the slight ache of his muscles and the pleasure of Jensen’s body pressing against his own.
Jensen rubs his hand down over Jared’s chest to his stomach then back up, the touch meant to relax and soothe Jared further instead of being sexual. It’s still a bit sensual and intimate though and the slight arousal he’s been feeling shifts into a constant pulse but still nowhere near what he felt every other time.
“How’re you feelin’?” Jensen asks softly, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder, then the crook of his neck, right over the tender skin that he’d bitten and sucked his mark onto.
Jared mewls softly and tilts his head back and to the side, resting on Jensen’s shoulder, shuddering a little when Jensen keeps kissing him. He’s not hard – neither is Jensen, he can feel his mate’s soft cock against his hip – and there’s barely any slick leaking from his hole but the sensation still feels good, soft and sweet and loving.
“’m good,” Jared whispers.
“How’s your heat? Is it spiking again? It’s been a few hours.”
Jared closes his eyes, turns his head to nuzzle under Jensen’s jaw, as he takes stock of his body. There’s a low thrum of arousal but he’s pretty sure that’s just because of his proximity to his mate. His skin doesn’t feel hot or stretched too thin like it had been and the rolling cramps in his stomach are gone as well. The overwhelmingneed that he’d been feeling, that empty, hollow feeling is also gone. Jared reopens his eyes and inhales deeply, his brow furrowed slightly. It’s like his heat is just… over. Which doesn’t make any sense, really. He should’ve suffered with it for a few more days yet – it’s been less than twelve hours – unless he’s…
Jared sits up completely and looks at Jensen wide-eyed, panic swamping him. The only reason that his heat would stop without running its course is if he became pregnant. And sure, he and Jensen talked briefly about it but Jared didn’t think it would happen, not really. He didn’t even believe Jensen could get him pregnant, if he wants to be honest about it.
Jensen reaches up and palms his cheek, green eyes wide and curious and concerned. “Baby?” he asks softly.
“It’s gone,” Jared whispers, belatedly answering Jensen’s question about his heat.
“What?”
“My heat,” Jared mutters, shaking his head slightly. “Jen… it’s gone.”
Jensen’s lips part softly, wide eyes searching Jared’s face. Jared barely resists the urge to bury his face in Jensen’s neck and hide. Or get out of the bath and run, run as fast and far as he can. Jensen may have said that he was okay with it but that was when it was all still a maybe, still in the abstract. Now it’s real, it’s happening, and Jensen may be okay with having a werecat for a mate but he’s pretty freaking sure that he’s not going to be okay when Jared has a litter of kittens in nine months. Because that’s exactly what Jared will give birth to. Since Jared was taken and kept in a pure silver cage, he’s pretty much lost touch with his cat form but his children will be born as cats and keep their fur until they’re about a year old. He doesn’t know if the fact that his mate is human will affect anything at all but he’s still nervous and scared.
Whatever he’s feeling must be showing on his face – Jensen has gotten really good at understanding Jared over the past few months when Jared was unable, or maybe unwilling, to talk to him – because his mate smiles softly and presses a kiss to his lips.
“It’s okay, Jay,” Jensen murmurs, pulling Jared against his chest again.
Jensen has never lied to him. Jared still finds himself unable to believe his reassurance.
XXX
Jensen helps him out of the tub and carefully dries him off before leading him back into their bedroom. The bed is a mess and the whole room smells like sex and Jared’s pheromones. Jared feels his cheeks heat and he ducks his head, watching through the still damp curtain of his bangs while Jensen changes the sheets. It doesn’t do much for the smell but Jensen doesn’t seem to mind – definitely doesn’t smell it as acutely as Jared does. Jensen pulls him down onto the bed with him, arms and legs tangled together, one of Jensen’s hands carding gently through Jared’s hair. Jared cuddles as close as he can, face buried in Jensen’s neck.
“So, a baby, huh?” Jensen asks softly after several long moments of slightly uncomfortable silence.
Jared sighs softly through his nose and shakes his head a bit. “Babies,” he corrects quietly. “More than one. A litter.” He closes his eyes, snuggles closer. “Kittens,” he adds, barely above a whisper.
“Huh,” Jensen breathes, fingers lightly dancing down Jared’s spine. It’s almost ticklish but Jared doesn’t mind. His mate is still touching him, hasn’t run away screaming yet, so he’ll take whatever he can get. “Thought werecats didn’t have an actual cat form.”
Jared can’t help but smile softly, his heart warming like it does every time Jensen says something like that, something that proves that he really did research Jared and werecats, even if his information is glaringly wrong. Before the men that took him from his pride, Jared didn’t have any experience with humans. Jensen is so different from those men and the ones that hurt him while he was trapped in his cage. He can’t help but wonder if most humans are like Jensen – kind and loving – or if Jensen is just different, special.
“We do,” Jared mutters. “Just don’t shift much. I… I haven’t since I was taken.” His voice is rough, hoarse, and it’s still hard to string so many words together at once but he can tell that it pleases Jensen greatly when he tries. “Wasn’t able to. Cubs’ll be born in their fur.”
Jensen’s hand doesn’t stop moving, his heart is still beating steady beneath Jared’s hand on his chest and his breathing hasn’t accelerated. He seems perfectly calm still. Jared still feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack. Jensen doesn’t say anything else and Jared can’t stop himself from whispering a strangled, “Sorry.”
Jensen’s hand finally stops moving, splayed wide over the small of Jared’s back. His other hand comes up, gently palming Jared’s jaw. “Look at me?” he asks softly. Jared inhales deeply, exhales slow and shaky, and opens his eyes, lifts his head. Jensen’s smile is soft, his eyes warm and loving. “Why’re you sorry?”
Jared can still hear the taunts of the men that took him, the men that hurt him. Can still hear the names they called him. He can still feel their hands, their mouths, their cocks, can feel them hitting him and biting him and hurting him while they call him a freak, an abomination. He can still feel the bite of the silver bars, the way that it suppressed his inner cat. He remembers the look in Jensen’s eyes that first night as he stared at Jared through the bars of his cage, can remember that that look was there for a long time even after Jensen brought him home. None of this here with Jensen feels real. He has nightmares nearly every night that Jensen never saved him, that none of this is real.
“’m a freak,” Jared finally manages to whisper.
“What? No you’re not,” Jensen insists, tone incredulous.
“Cat, J’nsen,” Jared grunts. He’s just about to the point that his voice is going to give out on him. “Kittens,” he adds pointedly, huffing out a breath.
“Baby,” Jensen murmurs, pulling him back down and tucking his face under Jensen’s jaw again. “You’re not,” he repeats. Jared huffs again, growls softly. “Okay, alright. I get it. No more talking tonight.” Jensen wraps both arms around him, presses a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you,” he whispers.
Tears sting Jared’s eyes so he closes them before they can fall.
XXX
The first few weeks of his pregnancy, Jared reverts back to not talking and avoiding Jensen. He even goes back to sleeping in the spare bedroom, in his nest of towels and blankets and rags that smell like Jensen. He doesn’twant to avoid his mate but he’s still afraid and unsure. Jensen’s eyes are dull and he smells sad whenever he brings Jared food or tries to talk to Jared and Jared won’t respond, won’t even look at him. Jared hates the distance between them, hates that he’s upsetting his mate, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t have the words, doesn’t know how to talk to Jensen about his fears, his insecurities. So he hides.
A month in, he wakes up in the middle of the night, shaking and covered in a cold sweat, his own pitiful yowl still echoing in his ears. Jensen is in his nest, cradling him against Jensen’s broad, strong chest, his mate’s nose and mouth buried in his hair, gently rocking Jared back and forth. It makes Jared cry harder.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” Jensen murmurs, rubbing Jared’s back. “’m here. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe. I’m here.”
“Jensen,” Jared breathes, the first thing he’s said to his mate in a month.
Jensen’s breath hitches and he squeezes Jared a little closer, lips moving down his cheek, kissing away the trail of tears. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry, Jared,” Jensen whispers. He keeps saying that, like he’s the problem, not Jared.
Jared whines softly, curls more into his mate’s arms, his mate’s warmth and strength and love surrounding him. “Not you,” Jared rasps. “Me.”
“You?” Jensen asks quietly.
“Freak,” Jared mutters.
“Told you that you’re not. I… I don’t care that you’re a were, Jared. I really don’t. It’s just… It’s a part of you, like your eye color or your height. It’s just another part of you for me to love. I love all of you, sweetheart.” He kisses the corner of Jared’s lips as one hand slides over Jared’s still-flat stomach. “And I’ll love our kids, no matter what.”
Jared closes his eyes, trying to choke back a sob. “’m sorry,” Jared whispers. “Love you, too.”
“You got nothin’ to be sorry for, love,” Jensen replies, soft but firm. “You’ve been through so much, Jay…” he trails off with a sigh, brushing a soft, chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. “I just wish I could do more,” he adds quietly, so quietly that Jared isn’t sure he was meant to hear it.
“Saved me,” Jared nuzzles against the side of Jensen’s face. “Love me.”
Jensen chuckles softly and gently squeezes him again. “I know, Jay,” he breathes. “Still, wish there was more.”
“Enough.”
Jensen curls around Jared in his nest that night, holding him close. Jared’s pretty sure they both sleep better than they have the entire month.
A few days later, just a little into his second month, Jared starts to get sick. It isn’t bad at first – what Jensen just explains is normal ‘morning sickness’ – but by the second week, Jared’s so sick he can’t get out of bed. Jensen’s scent makes him puke, even when there’s nothing in his stomach, and his mate’s touch is like a million ants crawling all over his body. Jared’s still too thin from his time with the bad men and can’t really afford additional weight loss. He barely has an appetite and when he does eat he just throws it all back up. He can tell that Jensen is freaked out but it’s not like he can take Jared to a regular doctor. Jared’s pride has a healer but he can’t go back there, especially not now that he’s pregnant. His pride has disowned him so therefore won’t accept him back and won’t accept Jensen as his mate. Which means that they also won’t accept Jared’s children.
It takes a little over two months but once Jared is in his fourth month, things start to even out. He gets his appetite back – and then some – and stops throwing up several times a day. He’s able to move back into their bedroom and actually be around Jensen without puking, crying or growling. He starts putting on weight quickly and at eighteen weeks, he notices that he’s developed a small bump. When Jensen finds it, he can’t get enough of it. His mate is always touching it and kissing it, even singing or humming to it. Jared thinks it’s adorable.
At twenty weeks – halfway through – Jared gets his sex drive back. With a vengeance. Mostly, up until that point, Jared entirely couldn’t stand Jensen’s touch or merely tolerated it. Now though, it feels like Jared can’t live without it. He’s horny and needy and clingy all the time. And it isn’t just for sex either – though that is a pretty huge part of it – but he craves Jensen’s constant attention, even going so far as to crawl into his mate’s lap when he’s in his office, trying to work. Jared doesn’t know exactly what Jensen does for work but he’s eternally grateful that he does it at home, whatever it is.
Jensen is sweet and indulgent as always, smiling and tucking Jared against his chest, working around him and the bulk of his stomach, while Jared nuzzles against him and purrs.
His libido is ridiculous. It’s almost worse than his heat was. Granted, his doesn’t have the cramps to deal with or the fever or the hazy thoughts but the need is there, almost riding him harder than those few hours of heat. Of course, Jensen indulges him in that aspect as well, never turning Jared down when he crawls into bed with Jensen and paws at him, whimpering and whining, already wet and willing and wanting.
The seventh and eighth month see Jared losing his sex drive again and his hormones going crazy. He’s getting better at being able to talk – his throat doesn’t hurt as bad and his voice is slowly becoming less hoarse and raspy – but he mostly stops talking to Jensen again. He’s tired and miserable and fat – Jensen says he’s beautiful, that he’s glowing, but Jared knows that he only says that because he doesn’t want to make Jared cry or yell; either is a possibility – and he just wants this all to be over.
He starts building his nest up more in the spare room, taking the sheets from their bed and more than a few of Jensen’s favorite t-shirts. Jensen is absolutely not allowed in the nest, Jared barely tolerates him in the same room even. It only takes Jared hissing at him once, flicking his tail in agitation, for Jensen to get that message.
Jared starts to freak out when he’s got about four weeks left. Weres give birth in cat form and he hasn’t shifted in seven years. He doesn’t even know if he still can after being exposed to pure silver for six years. The place in him where he remembers his cat being from before is quiet, empty, and it terrifies Jared. He doesn’t know if he can give birth in the form he’s stuck in currently.
Jensen moved the bed out of the spare room long before they mated. The spare room will be the nursery and is where Jared will give birth. Jared is currently pacing the length of the room, ears back, tail flicking agitatedly, as he chews on his thumbnail, other hand splayed protectively over his belly. His cubs are active, rolling over each other and pushing at all his internal organs, obviously able to sense Jared’s distress.
When he was younger – like all weres – Jared just knew how to shift. It wasn’t something he had to learn or think about, it just was. Now, he’s trying to remember the feeling, to recall how he did it, and trying to force it is getting him nowhere.
“Jay.” Jared stops pacing, turns and sees his mate leaning against the doorframe, brow furrowed, that look on his face that Jared hates. “What’s wrong, baby?”
Jared huffs, glares at Jensen for a moment before returning to his pacing. Jensen, who is a very stupid or reckless human, enters the room and gently grabs Jared’s arms, halting him. Jared growls softly in warning. He doesn’t want to hurt his mate but if he pushes, Jared doesn’t think he can be held responsible if he does. Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen repeats.
Jared’s shoulders slump, tears burning in his eyes. He sniffles pathetically and curls into Jensen’s chest as best as he can with his belly huge between them. “I can’t shift,” he whispers.
Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s shoulders and squeezes him gently, lightly swaying them back and forth. The motion kind of makes Jared want to take a nap. “Is that… important?” Jensen asks carefully, no doubt not wanting to incite Jared’s pregnant person temper.
Jared sniffles again, the tears breaking free to trail down his cheeks. “Yes,” he mutters. “Very. Weres shift to give birth.”
“Oh,” Jensen breathes. “When, uh, when was the last time you did?”
“’fore they took me.”
“Can I help?” Jensen asks softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Jared’s bowed head.
Jared pulls out of Jensen’s arms – even though he really, really doesn’t want to – and resumes pacing. “It’s… It’s nature, Jensen,” Jared huffs. “It’s my nature. I was born a were. I never had to think about it before. It just was. And now it’s gone!”
“Whoa,” Jensen breathes, stepping in front of Jared, holding both hands up. Jared blinks at him. “Did they… Was there some way that they could’ve taken it from you? Permanently?”
“The cage was silver,” Jared sighs. “Which is what kept me from shifting the whole time they had me. It was… It was six years, Jen,” Jared adds sadly. “And I’ve lost touch with that part of me. I can’t… I can’t even hear or feel my cat anymore.”
There’s a small, sad smile curling up Jensen’s lips. He pulls Jared close again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m sure it’s still there, love,” Jensen says softly. “I mean, look how far you’ve come already.”
“I don’t have time to just wait and see though,” Jared whispers, his face buried in Jensen’s neck. “I… I’m scared, Jen.”
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “Right now, just try and relax, okay? I’m sure that stressing and tryin’ to force things won’t help.” He palms the curve of Jared’s stomach and adds, “’sides, all that stress ain’t good for you or the cubs.”
It probably isn’t the best time and Jared honestly hasn’t felt like doing anything for months – let alone letting Jensen see him naked – but he just wants to take his mind off what’s missing, just for a little bit.
He hums softly, the sound morphing into a quiet purr, and nuzzles under Jensen’s jaw, pressing a kiss to the soft skin covering Jensen’s pulse. “Jay?” Jensen asks softly, no doubt confused.
“Wanna help me relax?” Jared whispers against his mate’s ear.
Jensen groans and Jared can scent his heightened arousal. He groans himself when he feels his cock twitch, his hole starting to get wet. “You sure?” Jensen whispers, his hands sliding down over the curve of Jared’s hips.
Jared scrapes his teeth over Jensen’s pulse and reaches down, grabs his mate’s hand and shoves it down the back of his sweats. Jensen’s palm curves over his bare asscheek, fingers slightly digging into the muscle. Jared pushes back against Jensen’s hand, twists his hips just slightly. “I’m sure,” he whispers back.
Jensen’s fingers brush against the cleft of his ass then slide between his cheeks. They both moan when the tips of his fingers press against his leaking entrance. “Okay,” Jensen breathes.
Walking backward, fingers still teasing around Jared’s rim, Jensen leads them to their bedroom. Jensen takes his time stripping Jared, kissing and nipping at every inch of skin revealed. Jared tries not to fidget or turn away or insist that Jensen turn the light out.
“So beautiful,” Jensen murmurs. Jared opens his eyes – didn’t even realize that he’d closed them – and looks down, gasping softly when he sees Jensen on his knees in front of him, both hands on the swell of his stomach. Jensen smiles up at him and presses a kiss to his belly, his hands sliding to Jared’s hips, holding him steady as he mouths his way down the swell.
“Am not,” Jared argues, unable to look away, not even realizing what he’s saying. “’m fat.”
“You’re pregnant,” Jensen corrects. “And gorgeous.”
Anything else he might have said is lost when Jensen leans down just a bit and licks a thick, wet stripe up the underside of Jared’s cock. Jared gasps, eyes slamming closed, swaying slightly. He’s pretty sure he’d be on the ground in a puddle if not for Jensen’s hold on him.
“Whoa, easy,” Jensen rasps. He turns Jared toward the bed and helps him sit before crawling forward into the open spread of Jared’s legs, gently pushing him back a bit. Jared braces himself on his palms, trying to watch Jensen over the swell of his stomach. Jensen wraps one hand around the base of Jared’s dick and slides his lips over the head, taking him down as far as he can. He slides his other hand down, over Jared’s balls, then behind, two fingers swirling around his rim before gently pushing inside.
Jared cries out, head falling back, his eyes closing once more. The dual sensations are nearly too much and Jared’s already trembling, hips jerking with the need to simultaneously get deeper into Jensen’s mouth and fuck down on Jensen’s fingers.
“Jensen,” Jared gasps. “Can’t… Please…”
“What, baby?” Jensen pulls off of his straining length long enough to ask before swallowing him down again.
“More,” Jared nearly shouts, back arching, arms trembling with the exertion of holding himself up.
Jensen spends a few more minutes torturing him before pulling away completely. Jared whines, lifting his head and reopening his eyes. Jensen’s standing at the foot of their bed, eyes dark and full of love and lust. He strips quickly and crawls onto the mattress next to Jared, one hand in his hair pulling him into a breathtaking kiss.
Jensen helps him turn over onto his hands and knees – even puts a pillow beneath his belly to support it – and settles behind him, hands smoothing over the swell of his ass. The moist warmth of Jensen’s breath is the only warning before Jensen’s pulling his cheeks apart and licking right over his hole. Jared moans harshly, hips tilting back, knees sliding on the sheets, trying to open himself up more. Jensen lets out a deep, filthy groan and pushes in further, teasing his rim with just the tip of his tongue, teeth very gently scraping over the sensitive flesh.
“Jen,” Jared moans, eyes squeezed closed, hands curled into fists in the sheets, whole body trembling. “Please… C’mon. Need you.”
Jensen pulls away with one last swirl of his tongue then kisses his way up Jared spine – spending a few moments teasing the skin around the base of Jared’s tail – ending with a sweet kiss to the back of his shoulder. Jared can feel the hard length of Jensen’s cock nudging against his thigh and pushes back, trying to urge his mate to hurry up.
“I love you,” Jensen whispers against the crook of his neck, biting down hard in the same place he marked Jared during his heat. Jared nearly sobs. He’s so overwhelmed. “Shh, love. It’s okay. I got’cha.”
He pulls back after one last kiss, sitting up on his knees, one hand on Jared’s hip. The first thrust always takes Jared’s breath away, the first perfect moment where Jensen breaches him. He moans through the slow, long slide, shivering with anticipation once Jensen’s fully sheathed inside him.
Jensen pauses for just a few moments before settling into a rhythm, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back. Jared tries to push back, tries to meet him thrust for thrust but he can’t move much with his stomach as big as it is. But Jensen doesn’t seem to mind, just follows Jared’s breathless pleas of faster, harder, more.
He loses track of everything other than Jensen, the feeling of his mate inside him, his scent surrounding Jared. His own release hits him out of the blue, completely unexpected, and he cries out, shaking and clenching down, pushing back as best as he can. Jensen groans and follows not long after, pushing in deep and staying as long as he can.
Jared reopens his eyes and he’s lying on his side, Jensen in front of him and they’ve both been cleaned up. Jared smiles lazily and uses the last of his strength to lean forward and press a kiss to Jensen’s lips.
XXX
When Jared wakes up the next morning he tries to sit up and stretch but finds that he can’t. He looks down at his own body and jerks in surprise.
He shifted.
Lifting his front leg, he gently presses his paw and Jensen’s chest. His mate blinks his eyes open slowly, the smile on his lips falling away when he sees a huge cat in bed with him instead of Jared. Jensen gasps and flails backward and Jared watches in amusement as Jensen falls off the side of the bed.
Scooting to the edge, Jared looks over at Jensen. His mate looks up at him, eyes wide. “Guess you figured out your shifting problem, huh?”
Jared glares as best as he can in cat form and pushes himself up, carefully hopping down off the bed. Jensen gets to his feet and follows, head tilted as he watches Jared settle down in his nest in the nursery. When Jared looks up again, Jensen is leaning against the door, smiling softly.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs. “In both forms. Should’ve known,” he chuckles quietly.
Jared spends the last month in his cat form. Mostly, he’s just more comfortable that way but he’s also a little afraid that if he shifts he won’t be able to shift back. Jensen is allowed into the room with him but still knows to stay well clear of the nest. It’s weird and reminds Jared of when Jensen first brought him home. He can see that Jensen misses him being in his more human form, misses talking to him and interacting with him. Jared misses it too, in a way. But he’s missed his cat so much and it’s so good to finally be in his fur again.
Jared goes into labor a day early.
For the last few days, Jensen had taken to sleeping in the room with him, in a nest of pillows and blankets of his own, a few feet away from Jared’s.
That morning, Jared wakes up well before the sun, his skin tight and itchy and a constant, dull ache low in his hips. He squirms, trying to get more comfortable but nothing works. For hours he lays there, staring at his sleeping mate, knowing damn-well what’s happening but still kind of in denial about it. But just after sunrise, when his water breaks and the first real contraction hits, Jared lets out a pained yowl and Jensen jerks awake, green eyes wide and worried.
Jared’s on his side, chest heaving, tail flicking. He growls softly when Jensen crawls into his nest with him, weakly batting at Jensen with his front paws.
“Easy,” Jensen murmurs, one hand gently petting down his flank, the other cradling Jared’s head. It’s an odd time to think about it but this is the first time Jensen’s touched him since he shifted. “You need me to help?”
Honestly Jared mostly doesn’t want Jensen anywhere near him right now but he’s pretty damn sure that he can’t do this on his own. And he kind of also doesn’t want Jensen to leave him alone. He can’t wait until his emotions straighten back out.
He nods slightly, butting his head against Jensen’s stomach. Jensen bends down and presses a kiss between his ears before moving down by his hips. The pain is horrible but Jensen’s steady presence and touch and voice help him stay focused. It takes hours but Jensen helps Jared birth three cubs – all of them tawny like Jared but with Jensen’s big green eyes.
Jensen cleans the cubs and Jared up and curls up on the outside of the nest, watching and smiling softly as they curl up against Jared’s stomach for their first meal. Jared looks up when he feels Jensen gently petting his head. He blinks slowly and starts to purr, not even minding when Jensen scoots a little closer, close enough to kiss Jared’s brow and reach down to touch their children.
Jared closes his eyes and enjoys the moment of peace. He knows that it won’t last. They have three kids to raise now, along with continuing to get to know each other and for Jared to continue healing from his captivity. But deep down, if the last year or so has taught him anything, he knows that they’ll be fine. As long as he’s got Jensen by his side, there’s nothing Jared can’t overcome.