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Juxtaposition, Soobin supposed, was his greatest vice. A dissonance between who Soobin from TOMORROW X TOGETHER was perceived to be and who Choi Soobin from Ansan was. The former is a strong-willed leader capable of shouldering the weight of a grueling industry, and the latter is an ordinary guy in his 20s yearning for a fun night. But he learned not to dwell on the friction between necessity and desire, instead choosing to store the untouched itch in a locked chest until even he himself forgot about it.
He had to. That was what was expected from him. That was who Choi Soobin had to be.
“Are you going to cry some more, Soobin-ah ? Keep barking and snapping teeth while soiling my bedsheets with that useless, leaking thing between your legs?”
Yet at first sight of a fortuitous allure, he caved in and took a bite, soaking his tongue with the sickly sweet ambrosia he never dreamed of tasting. With his head all but a haze from the light asphyxiation against his throat, Soobin smiled over his shoulder, meeting eyes with the sharp-toothed temptation looming behind him.
“Useless is a bold claim when you know damn well that-” A broken moan replaced the words he meant to say as a thumb pressed into his cockhead, precum dribbling onto the sheets below. Soobin lifted himself onto his trembling forearms, but the grip around his length was quicker, eroding the fight left in him as a new weight pressed onto his back.
“Like I said,” the weight draped over his side shifted before nibbling at the tip of Soobin’s ears, breathily whispering each word. “Useless. Such a shame you won’t be using it tonight.”
Soobin shuddered and the weight over him laughed, leaning down to lick off the tears running down his cheeks. There was no denying he had a role to play that he knew for sure. They both did.
…but if they did, how in the world did Soobin end up where he was, sitting in a pool of precum with none other than Kang Taehyun splitting him open?
໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა
Experience, as it turns out, did not make life easier. At least it didn’t for Soobin. The sleepless nights, the grueling practices, the fear that his every word and action could easily be twisted into a gun pressed to his temple– even with the years of experience attached to his name, the frustrations that accompanied his career never became more manageable to digest.
Soobin simply wasn’t a nameless civilian anymore. The chance under the limelight he sacrificed his youth for came with a plethora of restrictions and surveillance, his every step preyed on by vultures awaiting a crack in his facade to exploit him into ruins.
He couldn’t go out for a drink without making prior arrangements for a private room and an accompanying staff to babysit him. Getting wasted in the dorms meant he’d bring strain to whatever schedule he had the next day. He couldn’t go out for a quick fuck like his non-idol friends did, as the prospect of a stranger keeping their lips sealed was highly unlikely. Hooking up with another idol technically was an option, but the idea of him telling his manager that he desperately needed an NDA to fuck a coworker? He’d rather spend a week locked up in the practice room than admit that out loud.
So then, what was the genius solution he came up with instead?
Jerk off like his life depended on it.
It was a quick and easy outlet, one that Soobin never had to jeopardize his team’s future or his pride over. And maybe he was a little embarrassed about how frequently he sought out this method, especially when he was still sharing a room with the others, but those days were long gone. He had a single room and he could say with some certainty that they were mature enough to understand that it was a biological need for him. As long as all five of them continued to abide by the unspoken rule of ignoring each other’s muffled moans, Soobin was free to rub his dick raw whenever he pleased.
Sure, a hurried orgasm wasn’t the ideal solution but who was he to nitpick in the first place? Soobin would consider himself lucky if he had a moment of privacy; even if he did, his chances of staying awake to stroke himself to completion were a rarity. At the very least, he had something to help him and that was all he needed.
“Ooo, Taehyunnie~ who’s pants are you trying to get into this time?”
Then came the shy little taste of temptation birthed from an offhanded comment made by none other than the constant thorn in his side, Choi Yeonjun.
“Stop trying to spread baseless rumors, hyung. I am perfectly content staying in my own pants-”
Soobin leaned his head against the mirrored practice room wall with a low thunk as the duo loitering at the far end of the room erupted into a lighthearted squabble. At its core, there was nothing particularly off-putting about their exchange. Their words held no malice, the string of vowels and consonants holding little to no real meaning as all purposeless mid-practice banter typically was. No one in the vicinity, not even Beomgyu or Kai, who stood a foot or two away from them, cared enough to tune into the conversation.
“Content?” Yeonjun slid his hand down Taehyun’s side, snaking his arm around the younger man’s waist. “So you’re not camping out in the gym for a fun night? Oh yeah, I totally believe you.”
Yet with every teasing remark uttered by the eldest adding another dusted layer of red onto Taehyun’s already darkened cheeks, Soobin became transfixed, his mind and body melding together to become one with the bewitching sight before him. All else in the scenery beyond the two huddled figures melted into white noise, the combined melody of their inflections wrapped around him in a vice grip, preventing him from turning elsewhere.
“I’m serious!” Taehyun placed a hand over the older’s, almost as if attempting to push the touch away. “And who are you to question me? Or are you pent up because all your darlings are too busy for you?”
Soobin swallowed the lump stuck in his too dry throat, the rough grind along his esophagus quickly becoming the sole sensation keeping his sanity present. He became deaf even to his own shaky exhale as his gaze darted between the duo’s embrace and crimson-stained cheeks, his tired mind unhelpfully spatting out a realization that left his lips agape.
Taehyun wasn't pushing Yeonjun away. Taehyun was purposely keeping Yeonjun’s hand on him, his fingers dancing along its length at a tantalizing speed. It was like he was asking the older, inviting the caress to remain pressed into his waist. Soobin’s thoughts morphed into an incomprehensible muk. It was like they were…were they-
A searing throb slithered down Soobin’s spine, pooling at the bottom of his stomach as Taehyun’s gaze drifted his way with an indescribable swirl fogging up his pupils. The direct acknowledgment from the younger couldn’t have lasted for more than a second. Still, it was enough for Soobin to force his way out of the bubble binding him in place, frantically searching for a distraction as he tucked his legs to his chest to hide the half-hardened shame he noticed a moment too late.
He could barely recall what he did in the hours following the tension-filled break. Soobin moved entirely on autopilot from the moment he was released from their practice room until he locked the door to his room, his memories haunted by the various shades of eroticism painting Taehyun’s face while the echo of Yeonjun’s taunts scorched his insides. Even in the isolation of his room, Soobin swore he could feel the lingering touches not meant for him, causing him to leak through his undergarments at a humiliatingly fast rate.
Stumbling over his feet, he crashed onto the edge of his bed and hastily yanked down his pants halfway down his thighs, not having the patience to completely strip off the abhorrent bundle of fabric. His hardened length dribbled gleefully as he thumbed over its glistening head, spreading the seemingly never-ending stream of filth down the shaft in place of lube. Soobin hissed loudly and hurriedly stuffed the hem of his shirt past his lips, his hips moving with a mind of its own to meet his strokes.
Bucking up into the air desperately, Soobin slipped a hand under his shirt and twisted a sensitive nub harshly, digging his thumb into his oozing cockhead. With his eyes fluttering shut, he curled in on himself as agony, now masked with overwhelming ecstasy, snapped the tightened coil of depravity in his stomach, accompanied by the mirage that led him here in the first place.
Taehyun and Yeonjun sharing heated whispers. Taehyun and Yeonjun pressed together without the guise of fanservice, unaware of Soobin’s dwindling sanity. Taehyun preventing Yeonjun from pulling away. Taehyun looking so tiny in Yeonjun’s embrace. Taehyun’s smirk as he-
The dampened hem of Soobin’s shirt fell from his lips as he hung his mouth open with a muted moan, a trickle of drool spilling out to add to the filth. White ran down his twitching shaft, coating his hand and thighs with untamed debauchery, eventually finding its way down to soak into his pants and bedsheets.
The crude noises of skin hitting skin, of erratic breaths, of strangled whines distorted by a layer of cloth– logically speaking, there was nothing profound about how he was getting off. And it was long after he’d caught his breath that the realization slammed into him, tearing apart the mindless warmth he foolishly waded into.
There was nothing profound, yet he’d never had a more mind-numbing orgasm from a quick jerk off.
There was nothing profound, aside from him using his members to fuel his fantasies.
There was nothing profound, but Soobin repeatedly fell for the same ripened seed of temptation, the hunger he felt for the saccharine flavor of satisfaction only faltering the morning after as the sugar on his lips decayed into a guilt-ridden rot.
It was a soul-consuming addiction, a flower blooming to be the culmination of lust and its unfortunate suppression. Every rational morsel of his being screamed at the moral line he blurred, demanding him to take responsibility for the sin coating his hands. Yet he never did, repeatedly returning to the same corner of his bed to add another layer of depravity onto his palms. He’d take the secret to his grave and maybe then he’d find his retribution. Simple.
“Taehyun-ah…uh…could you, um please repeat what you just said?”
But life was never meant for simplicity and Kang Taehyun was the living proof of it.
Soobin’s ears rang with the rapid knocking of his heart against his ribs, unsure if he was even breathing as an uncomfortable warmth churned in his stomach. The tunnel vision he’d been bewitched by months ago, the one that had caused his shameful satiation, veiled over him once more, wiping out everything but the piercing stare in front of him.
He must’ve misheard. He must be reaching a new level of delusionalism after stroking his dick raw one too many times. He must be having a lucid dream. Or confusing reality with one of his hyperrealistic fantasies. Because why in the world would Taehyun, of all people-
“I said , I’ve been sleeping with Kai and that we both believe that it would benefit all of us if we started sleeping with each other,” Taehyun spoke without an ounce of hesitation, annoyance beginning to peek its head out from his clipped tone.
The tunnel vision shattered as Soobin nodded grimly, the tips of his ears scorched with an emotion he couldn’t dare to acknowledge. So he hadn’t misheard the younger. The discomfort in his stomach churned more incessantly, an uncontrolled bounce taking over his leg.
“Long story short, we should fuck. All five of us,” as if inconvenienced by the bewildered looks, Kai let out an exasperated sigh after a beat of silence and added on. “And no, we’re not joking. We wouldn’t have called for a family meeting if we were.”
Soobin’s leg bounced harder, causing the untouched drinks on the table to wobble.
“Kinda feels weird to call it a family meeting when your bright idea for reducing stress is a group orgy,” Yeonjun shrugged as Soobin audibly choked, easily evading the leader’s under-the-table shin kicking by crossing his legs. “I’m guessing you have evidence to back up your idea?”
The pooled heat in Soobin’s stomach crawled up his spine, molten lava kissing every vertebrae. Yeonjun didn’t sound upset. No, he sounded…intrigued by the proposition.
“Mmhm! Hyunnie and I’ve been fucking for months now and we’ve never been more stress-free!”
Soobin pinched the back of his hand. Pain burst from the little crescent-shaped indents he made but the swelter beneath his skin numbed the sensation in the blink of an eye. Two members he was supposed to look out for were fucking regularly and now a third could join. All while he was fighting off constant remorse for a hurried orgasm.
“And you’re not thinking with your dick?”
Soobin kicked Yeonjun’s shin under the table again, this time nailing the bone with the underside of his socked toe.
“Nope.”
The eldest clapped gleefully and wrapped an arm around Kai’s shoulder, tucking his legs onto his chair and rubbing the spot Soobin kicked him on. “Cool. Count me in on your little sex arrangement. Sounds fun.”
Beomgyu, who had been eerily silent since sitting at the dining table, sighed and raised his hand. “Hold on a second. We can’t just agree to join their sex thing simply because it ‘sounds fun’. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”
Soobin stopped bouncing his leg. At that moment, he swore Beomgyu’s voice was akin to the cherubs’ harmony as the gates of heaven opened up. Beomgyu disagreed with the suggestion. And if he disagreed, the maknaes would give up.
“I thought you were smarter than this, Yeonjun hyung.”
A tremor ran through Soobin’s torso as he dragged a feverish finger along the rim of his cup, the stark contrast between him and the cold drink leaving him lightheaded. As a responsible leader, he should be thrilled by Beomgyu’s lack of interest. He should be if he wanted to be a good leader. The condensation dripping onto his finger seared his skin as an embarrassingly familiar haze washed over his thoughts.
“We haven’t discussed our kinks and preferences but you’re already agreeing? What, are you assuming that everyone’s into the same freaky shit you’re into? At least I have manners and started making a nice reference for Taehyunnie and Hueningie while you were jumping to conclusions.”
The cherub’s angelic voice he spoke so highly of distorted into the songs sung by succubi, the sickeningly sweet tune used to feed off mankind’s degeneracy heard clearly above his racing heartbeat.
Beomgyu agreed.
Beomgyu was also thinking with his dick.
“Oh, that’s sweet of you, hyung. But I don’t think that’s necessary when Kai’s a kinky motherfucker-”
“Me!? You’re the one that introduced me to 90% of the shit I know!”
“Beomgyu, you have no right to be making fun of me when I know damn well that you want to be dragged around like a fucking dog-”
Thud.
The four chattering voices fell mute as Soobin’s forehead planted into the table, his low groan causing worry to replace the lighthearted quarreling. However, before any of them could voice their concern, the leader lifted his red-tinged forehead with a scowl, eyeing each member skeptically.
“It’s up to you, Soobinnie hyung,” Taehyun’s voice sounded distant, so distinctly different from the confidence he radiated not 10 minutes ago when he brought up the idea. “You’re our leader, after all. If you don’t agree to it, then…well, I guess this conversation never happened.”
Soobin gnawed on his lip, glancing between the members. Months. Weeks. Numerous mornings spent suffocating on the consequences of his debauchery. Mornings spent sneaking into the bathroom to rid his clothes of evidence with a muttered oath of celibacy, only to find himself in the same scene a day later. Days spent branding his memories with enticement not meant for him and nights spent chasing a high with the whispered promise of ecstasy urging him on.
But what good did his effort bring him? What benefit did his perpetual downward spiral cause when the members he was so adamant about protecting were fucking in the room next door?
“But hyung…” Soobin’s breath hitched as Taehyun took his trembling hands on his own, squeezing the phalanges before pressing them against a flushed cheek. The younger’s barely there huffs fanned across Soobin’s fingers as he peeked through his bangs, the sight akin to a siren humming the final note before mindless devotion. “I would be happier if you joined too.”
Soobin had already gotten a taste of the fruit born from syrupy ardor, perhaps earlier than Taehyun did, filling his mouth with the candied flavor of temptation and gagging down its rancid remains. And if the personification of the allurement sweetening his dreams was willingly placing himself on a silver platter to be devoured, to morph guilty fantasies into a pleasured reality, who was Soobin to deny it?
“If you think it’ll help us, I’ll join.”
Because in the end, Soobin, too, was thinking with his dick. And for that, he had created another juxtaposition; a leader willing to cause permanent damage to their group dynamics for the sake of a quick fuck.
૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
Juxtaposition, Soobin concluded, was his greatest vice. A dissonance between the pleasure that left him scrambling for another taste and the irritation of never scratching the itch that doomed him into perpetual insatiability.
He never came. At least, not while he was nestled deep inside one of his members.
In the simplest of terms, the arrangement proposed by their youngest two members was the relief to life’s frustrations that he’d been searching for all along. Every little sensation coursing through his body– the scorching bliss engulfing his length, the slickened sound of skin slamming against skin, high moans beyond his vocal range, even the gentle pressure of a lip not belonging to himself dragged along the column of his neck– each addictive touch quickly became the savior to the guilt he’d been harboring. All it took was him adapting to the needs of his members.
If Yeonjun wanted to be degraded and thrown around, he willingly spat insults until the eldest cried, pressed into the bed sheets. If Beomgyu wished to be treated like a pet for a night, he clipped ears to his hair and paraded him around the room on a leash. Sure, their packed schedules only allowed Soobin to share a bed with two out of four members thus far, but he was already coming out of it with more benefits than he could’ve ever hoped for.
But it wasn’t enough for him to be satisfied.
The first few times, Soobin blamed his lack of experience. After all, he’d slept with a grand total of two people before his agreement for their group sex arrangement, and he couldn’t deny that he felt more comfortable enacting the scene his partner of the night desired rather than taking control. He’d get used to it soon enough.
But he didn’t.
Their arrangement wasn’t the perfect he spoke highly of. It was a mockery aimed directly at the velvety walls clinging to his length with every thrust, a jab pointing out that the bliss he submerged into couldn’t give him the same orgasmic high as his hedonistic jerk off sessions did. It was a constant reminder that for as much as he considered himself an attentive leader, the stroke to his ego provided by his members’ satisfaction never brought him his own. A reminder that Soobin never once spilled into the trembling figure folded beneath him from overstimulation, his leaking length only finding release with a hand curled around its girth and nothing else.
Was it the persona that his members yearned him to be that placed this mental blockade in the path of his ecstasy? Highly unlikely. He’d settled fully into the domineering headspace in less than a month with the scent of sex and sweat egging him on. The insults he’d been so hesitant to utter at first now came to him naturally, spilling past his lips to twist the coiled up eroticism in his gut painfully as the eyes he towered over lost their shine to lust with each snarky comment.
But it wasn't enough.
The reluctance crawling under his nails morphed into excitement with each whine derived from Soobin’s ministrations, his fingers no longer needing a second touch guiding them to curl around a flailing appendage nor a reminder of when to squeeze tighter. The reddish-purple flowers bloomed on unmarred skin under his fingertips so beautifully, the sight of tarnish brought upon purity stirring an unextinguishable blaze within.
But it wasn’t enough.
He brought his palm down to the rounded bottom pressed against his pelvis until the milky canvas became splotch with his handprint, bucking his hips desperately into the pulsating walls that tightened with each hit. He yanked handfuls of hair at once, left indents of his teeth where no one could see, and spat harsher words to wrangle out pearly tears with a futile hope for satiation.
But it wasn’t enough.
No matter what he did, no matter what mind-numbing pleasure he felt as he pressed into an ardor his hand could never replicate, Soobin ultimately ended up where he started, sitting on the edge of his bed with a hand stroking him to completion. He was and would always remain a mere pawn for his juxtaposition to toy with.
“Let’s end this quickly, yeah?”
And at the center of it all stood the reason for his dilemma, the person who’d unknowingly brought demise to Soobin’s consciousness with an indescribable swirl fogging his pupils: Kang Taehyun.
The leader outstretched his arms toward Taehyun as the younger joined him on the mat placed in the middle of their variety show set, pretending not to see the hint of a smirk beginning to curl across his cheeks. Without waiting for a response, Soobin wrapped his fingers around the younger’s wrists and sank onto his knees, preparing to yank him onto the mat for a quick win.
The idea for this segment, albeit heavily laced with deliberate fanservice, was entertaining. An unrestricted wrestling match that ended with the winner reading out loud the word written on the back of his opponent’s socked foot. Physically strenuous, maybe, but definitely not the most outlandish thing they’ve done for their variety show and definitely not something Soobin put much thought into during their debriefing.
He glanced at the shadow before him, nodding contently as he readjusted his grip. Perhaps if he had been paired with the other participating members, he would’ve felt it was necessary to study the cards he had at hand. But his opponent was Taehyun.
Taehyun, who frequented the gym more than anyone else, yet was easily thrown over Kai’s shoulders and paraded around their dorm without complaint. Taehyun with his lithe figure, his tiny waist often accentuated by an exposed midriff and tight tops. Taehyun, who’d the leader jerked his dick raw for repeatedly, shooting load after load of white while obsessing over their prominent size difference.
Soobin could readily admit that he had no chance in a game of pure strength, but, judging by how the previous match progressed, his height advantage was the one component he needed to win. Not to mention he’d been going to the gym more often too. He needed to pull Taehyun down, maybe grab his waist and immobilize him before-
“I can hear you thinking, hyung,” Soobin flinched as a breathy whisper fanned against his ear, a pair of arms looping around his arms and torso to keep him in place. He struggled in Taehyun’s grasp, his mind still struggling to understand when the younger had shuffled behind him, but to no avail. “Are you scared to lose?”
“Why would I be-”
Soobin grunted as his vision twisted, his cheek suddenly pressed into the mat as a swelter he knew all too well burst throughout his body. He flailed, swinging every available limb he had in hopes of knocking himself free from Taehyun’s embrace, only to meet failure each time. Complaints fell freely from his lips, but with every second spent entrapped in the younger’s arms, he heard his words faltering, the sounds vibrating his vocal cords slowly drowned out by the blood rushing to his eardrums.
Pulling together every bit of energy he could muster, Soobin wiggled and pushed Taehyun away, using the small window of freedom he had to catch his breath and-
The leader exhaled sharply, a dull pain spreading from his shoulders as another weight crawled on top of him. He blinked wearily, momentarily forgetting where he was and what he was supposed to be doing.
“Bet this is a new experience, getting pinned to the ground like this,” the corner of Taehyun’s lips twitched, the words tumbling out too quiet to even be picked up by their microphones. But Soobin heard it all, each and every uttered syllable pressing searing kisses into his cheeks and setting them aflame.
The uncomfortable heat traversing his limbs grew warmer as he wrapped his legs around Taehyun’s waist, forcibly tugging their torsos together. It wasn’t until he heard the muddled commotions coming from the sidelines that he realized how suggestive they must’ve looked, their groins practically compressing into one with every rocking motion Soobin unknowingly took. In a flurry of panic, he lifted his torso off the mat and attempted to take control over the situation before he popped an unfortunate boner, but Taehyun saw through the motion.
“Though…,” an irrepressible shudder rendered Soobin immobile as Taehyun leaned forward, almost purposefully brushing their clothed crotches together. The leader hurriedly clamped his lips shut in fear of releasing a humiliating whine as he suddenly became acutely aware of even the slightest shift of weight pressing into him. “...I think you’re into this. Big, strong Soobinnie thrown around like a doll.”
Everything about him– his face, his blood, the coiled up something laying dormant in his stomach– every fiber that came together to form Choi Soobin morphed into a shapeless pool of lava, an uncomfortable warmth seizing control of his body under Taehyun’s scorching gaze. A numbing buzz left his mouth agape in a silent moan as the younger flipped Soobin onto his back, his heart threatening to burst from his chest with Taehyun now sitting directly on his groin.
“W-wait, Hyunnie-”
“Was fucking the hyungs not enough for you?” Taehyun cackled before glancing at the oblivious staff, taking both of Soobin’s wrists and tugging them down to their connected bodies. Soobin swore he could feel heat radiating off his pelvis, the sensation made worse by Taehyun rocking forward. “Is that why you’re hard during our shoot? We’re wrestling , hyung. How pathetically perverted are you?”
The crude comments veiled over Soobin’s ears, distorting the chatter surrounding the mat until all he heard was his own erratic breath. He’d heard worse words and made crueler comments to bring ecstasy to his members. In comparison, this was nothing.
“No-” Soobin tried to pull himself up once more as Taehyun turned to the cameras, not entirely sure what he was denying with his stuttered response. Was it because he was going to lose the match? Or was it his attempt to refute the comment still ringing in his ears?
…not that the answer mattered too much. Because the second Taehyun felt Soobin’s arms beginning to slither around him, he slammed the leader back down by his shoulders, crawling up Soobin’s torso and sitting on his chest.
“Give up. Just give up,” Taehyun scoffed as Soobin’s hips stuttered upwards into nothing, a breathy whine falling from the leader’s petulant pout. Soobin, half dazed, rolled his head to the side, unfocused gaze locking with the blinking red light.
Ah. Right. He was in the middle of filming.
Taehyun leaned his weight back, his hand grazing the tent. Soobin could only hope that he was not caught by the camera as the younger read the word written on the back of his sock. He gritted his teeth and glared at the man still sitting on top of him, gagging on the breath he had just taken while Taehyun mouthed a word silently.
Pathetic.
૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“Hello to you too, hyung.”
Soobin scowled at Taehyun’s nonchalant reply and kicked the door shut behind him, not caring who he woke up in his fit of misdirected irritation. Logically, he knew he was overreacting, that there was no point in him standing beside the younger’s bed fuming when the core cause of his irritation was the pathetically small reason for his inability to come inside another.
“Big, strong Soobinnie thrown around like a doll.”
“Was fucking the hyungs not enough for you?”
“Just give up.”
Pathetic.
But logic held no significance when every crevasse of his brain had been branded by the coy words spoken out loud with a sharp-toothed smile, echoing back to him as a mirage he couldn’t escape from. Every step, every thought, every heartbeat that followed their wrestling match meant nothing, leaving only an endless abyss of depravity for Soobin to tumble into. There was nothing he could do to prevent his inevitable fall into the pit. But he didn’t have to be alone.
“...is this about the variety shoot?” Taehyun shut off his phone and propped himself against the bed headboard, skeptically staring Soobin down with furrowed eyebrows. “Hyung, you lost fair and-”
“ Fair ? You were taunting me the whole match! How is any of that fair?”
“Oh, did I hit a sore spot for you, hyung?” the younger stood from his bed, pushing his glasses up and jabbing a finger in Soobin’s chest. “A little trash talk and you get this riled up? What, you couldn’t handle getting your petty pride wounded for a variety show?”
Soobin gritted his teeth.
“Was it the fact that you didn’t stand a chance against me that caused you to throw a tantrum? Getting pushed around by someone tinier than you? Or was it me pointing out the obvious by calling you a pervert? Guess what? You are a fucking pervert for openly trying to hump me with everyone watching. With the cameras still rolling .”
Soobin’s molars creaked uncomfortably as Taehyun’s tone became sharper, a strange numbness slipping from the cracks of his mind to flow freely into his mouth to soothe his aching teeth.
“And now you’re here, hours after the shoot, upset at me for your pathetic reaction,” the younger stepped forward, tilting his chin up to hold Soobin’s stare. Soobin felt his tongue deflate, unable to move to formulate a coherent response. “Tell me, how is it my fault that you got turned on by-”
Soobin leaned down, capturing Taehyun’s lips in a chaste kiss and shutting him up before he could ramble on. At once, the irritation and humiliation he’d been carrying since their variety shoot burst into flames, the sensation starting from their connected lips and spreading throughout his body. He began to pull away, an apology resting at the tip of his tongue, only for Taehyun to grab him by the chin to drag him back into a hurried kiss.
A pair of sharp canines dug into Soobin’s bottom lip, the leader’s surprised grunt swallowed by the tongue invading his oral cavity. The numbness he’d felt earlier crashed into him as Taehyun wrapped his arms around Soobin’s shoulders, preventing him from filling his shrieking lungs with fresh air. The kiss was far from the innocuous pecks he’d shared with the younger, his lips already thrumming with a dull ache while streaks of filth ran down from the corner of his mouth. It was too wet and hurried, more of an exchange of spit than an actual kiss.
“Hyung’s such a messy kisser,” Taehyun grumbled as he finally pulled away, admiring the coat of drool covering the leader’s lip. He ran a thumb along the excess spillage on Soobin’s chin before slipping it between his agape lips, nodding for Soobin to close his lips around the digit.
The taller of the two swirled his tongue around the tip of the thumb, blinking slowly in an attempt to figure out what had just happened. He’d always felt more level-headed when he was with Yeonjun or Beomgyu. He always knew what he had to do next, the expectations they had drilled into him. But with Taehyun staring up at him, his glasses making his eyes bigger than they usually were, he lost all ability to think.
What did Taehyun like? What did Taehyun want from him? Soobin’s teeth grazed the thumb stuck past his lips. He didn’t know and the numbness premeating from his mouth made it impossible to know. Everything felt too far away, his limbs heavily and moving like-
Soobin’s knees buckled as Taehyun slotted a leg between his, spreading the limbs while pushing the leader down by the thumb in his mouth and forcing him to rest his weight on his thigh. His lips fell lax and Taehyun retracted his finger, wiping the spit covered appendage on Soobin’s thigh before pressing it into the bulge pushed against his thigh.
“Messy kisser and you’re this hard already?” Taehyun smirked, digging his thumb into the rapidly growing wet patch on Soobin’s sweats. The older cried out weakly as his dick continued to weep from the rough jabs, the barely there stimulation thickening the fog rolling over his mind. “You know what I think, hyung?” Taehyun raised his thigh just enough for Soobin to shift his weight, thereby forcing him to rock his half hardened length against it. “I think you like getting treated like this. Controlling another isn’t your thing, you want to be the one controlled .”
Like his head had been submerged in water, Soobin could only make out bits and pieces of Taehyun’s accusation, his attention focused solely on rutting into the thigh between his own. Bursts of endorphins shot up his spine with each thrust, his lashes fluttering as he frantically chased the menial pleasure. It wasn’t enough. He needed more if he wanted to come.
Suddenly, Taehyun ripped his thigh away from Soobin, causing the older to buck aimlessly into nothing as irritation clogged his veins once more. He lunged forward and tackled Taehyun onto the bed, his breathing growing erratic by the second while the younger simply smirked at him with amusement shining in his eyes.
“Just wait until I fuck that smirk off your lips, Taehyun-ah,” Soobin hissed, swatting away the fog that made it so hard for him to think coherently. “How long are you going to keep this act up for when you and I both know you’ve been bouncing on Huening’s dick?”
Taehyun gave Soobin a quizzical stare, almost like he was contemplating how to respond, before shaking his head. Instead of answering the inquiry, he tugged the older down by the back of his neck, pressing a kiss behind Soobin’s ear.
“How about this? If you can make me come with a blowjob before you do-” the younger paused to nip Soobin’s ear, giggling as he trembled. “-then you can fuck me. Do whatever you want. But if you come first…”
Though Taehyun left his conditions unfinished, Soobin immediately began stripping the younger, not wanting to spend another second leaking through his undergarments. Drool burst in his mouth the second he threw Taehyun’s shirt off, his eyes tracing every sculpted crevasse lining his stomach and pectorals. Unable to help himself, he latched his lips around a dusty peak on Taehyun’s chest, rolling the nub until a soft whine penetrated his ears. He kissed the fully erect nipple and moved onto the other side, trailing his fingers down the younger’s torso and slipping them under his pajama bottoms.
Soon, Soobin was kneeling between Taehyun’s legs, tentatively licking the glistening head in his hand while squeezing the base loosely. A content sigh echoed in the room, urging Soobin to take the length into his mouth and resting it on his tongue. The familiar weight lulled him into a false sense of security, his tongue running along the side lazily as he pulled back, using his drool to give it a few strokes. He repeated the process several more times, his ego soaring as Taehyun’s barely there moans grew louder, almost forgetting what his deal with the younger was in the first place.
He almost did. But Taehyun didn’t.
Just as Soobin wrapped his lips around Taehyun’s cock, the younger man huffed and grabbed a fist full of hair, shoving his entire length down Soobin’s throat in one thrust. The sluggish speed Soobin was used to shattered in the blink of an eye, his gag reflex flaring up as Taehyun kept him in place, cooing when tears began to well up.
“You call that a blowjob? Kitten licks and lazy sucking?” Taehyun cackled and dragged Soobin off his cock, giving the older man a second to cough and glare before stuffing his mouth full again. Every time Soobin felt his throat close back up, the younger drove his cock back down, forcibly opening it and drowning out Soobin’s cries with wet gagging sounds. “Poor hyung doesn’t know how to give a proper blowjob.”
Glaring through his tears, Soobin breathed through his nose and laxed his throat to the best of his abilities, swallowing the length down to mask his need to cough. But there was nothing he could do to ease the pain. It was rough, he could barely breathe or see in front of him, the sound of him gurgling far too loud, but Taehyun’s thighs were trembling beneath his hands. Taehyun was close while he wasn’t.
Gathering what little drool he had in his mouth, Soobin pressed himself closer to Taehyun and readjusted his legs, spreading the limbs wider to relax his body further. Blinking away his tears, he stared into the younger’s eyes and hollowed his lips, the added tightness around his cock causing Taehyun to throw his head back. Soobin hummed to himself, already tasting victory on his tongue and-
The fingers that had loosened in his hair tugged hard as Taehyun dragged his foot over Soobin’s dripping cock and stepped down. The sopping, thin fabric of Soobin’s underwear did nothing to cushion the touch, the drenched material a mere ornament as Taehyun rolled Soobin’s cock between his foot and the wooden flooring. The cool touch of the floor burned Soobin ecstatically, his overly sensitive dick unable to cease its leakage and dribbling enough to create a small puddle.
He felt disgusting, both his face and legs sullied by filth and desperation. He couldn’t tell if his cheeks were wet from tears or drool, his aching jaw and lips not having the strength to close around the length driven down his throat. Soobin’s hips jerked forward, aligning with a deep thrust that tore away oxygen from his lungs. His vision flashed. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, but he could feel everything .
Pleasure, pain, asphyxiation. The hand in his hair kept Soobin from thrashing as he clung onto Taehyun’s leg, bucking and drooling onto his thigh. He rutted forward once, then a second time, and with a final third thrust, Soobin let out a wanton cry and slumped over, never realizing that Taehyun had pulled his length out of his mouth.
“You lost,” Soobin coughed over Taehyun’s comment, his body finally realizing that he could breathe freely again. It took a second for the older man to fully comprehend the statement, his red-rimmed eyes growing comically wide once he did. “You came first humping my leg, Soobinnie. You lost.”
“That wasn’t-”
Whatever croaked complaint Soobin had fell to deaf ears as Taehyun yanked him onto the bed, manhandling the older to prop himself up on his knees with his cheek pressed into the bedding. Taehyun traced a line from the top of his neck and down his spine, holding his breath as he ran his finger along the curve of his ass and shucking off the last piece of fabric concealing his beauty.
“Stop- ah, don’t stare!” the older whined as Taehyun cupped his ass in both hands, kneading the supple globes and spreading them apart. Soobin wiggled his legs impatiently, attempting to shut his legs to spare him from further embarrassment.
“You say that but-” Soobin moaned as Taehyun reached between his legs, roughly grabbing the length already beginning to drip again. “-you’re insatiable. Is this why you always need a handjob to come? Fucking the hyungs really isn’t enough, huh?”
Color drained from Soobin’s cheeks. He twisted his head to retort but immediately pressed it back into the sheets as Taehyun popped open a bottle of lube, coating not just his hole but his entire ass with the icy lubricant. Its excess rolled down his balls and onto his cock, a painfully blissful ecstasy devouring the complaints he wanted to say.
“Heard Beomgyu hyung talking about it,” Soobin’s breath hitched, his thighs shaking as Taehyun dragged his finger around his hole to warm up the lube and slowly pushed it in. “How you can never come inside him or Yeonjun hyung…and after today I think I know why,” the pressure against his virgin hole wrangled a pained sob from the older, though the noise was instantaneously replaced with a whine as Taehyun flicked his drooling cock. “You’re made to be fucked, not the other way around.”
Soobin shook his head, the pressure in his ass easing with every thrust. He likes the feeling of ramming into someone, he derives pleasure from fucking another.
“No?” Taehyun tugged on Soobin’s neglected length as he pressed a second finger inside, giggling when he released a confused groan. The pain he felt with the first finger was barely present, his senses distracted by the sloppy strokes around his cock. “I called you a pathetic pervert and you were just about ready to be fucked in front of all of our staff. I pinned you down once and you got hard,” Taehyun angled his fingers, curling them and prodding Soobin’s walls searching for the sweet spot. “Even me reminding you of it has you squeezing around my fingers…give up, hyung.”
Soobin shook his head again, this time weaker than the last. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. That wasn’t who he was supposed to be. He was their team’s leader, the one in charge of the others, the one responsible for all of their actions. He had expectations to follow and wanted his members to be satisfied.
“I can- I know I can,” wobbling onto his forearms, Soobin looked behind him and scoffed. “So what if you manhandled me once, Taehyunnie? Means nothing to me.”
Smack!
Pain bloomed across Soobin’s ass as his arms lost their strength, toppling him back down to the sheets. From the corner of his eye, he saw Taehyun raise his arm again to drive another hit across his bottom, the pain more prominent now as he smacked the same spot. And again, and again, and-
Soobin shrieked and clenched around Taehyun’s fingers, the girth inside of him thicker than what he previously felt. His lips fell lax as he tried to tell the younger to stop but only drool and whines worked their way out, the noises resembling what could’ve been a coherent sentence reduced to gasps and pained cries as Taehyun slapped the leader’s fully hardened cock.
“Are you going to cry some more, Soobin-ah ? Keep barking and snapping teeth while soiling my bedsheets with that useless, leaking thing between your legs?”
“Useless is a bold claim when you know damn well that-” A broken moan replaced the words he meant to say as a thumb pressed into his cockhead, precum dribbling onto the sheets below. Soobin lifted himself onto his trembling forearms, but the grip around his length was quicker, eroding the fight left in him as a new weight pressed onto his back.
“Like I said,” the weight draped over his side shifted before nibbling at the tip of Soobin’s ears, breathily whispering each word. “Useless. Such a shame you won’t be using it tonight.”
Biting down on the cartilage, Taehyun drew his fingers back and rammed them back in, curling up at the right angle for Soobin to begin babbling and thrashing. The pressure on his dick was nothing compared to the tap he felt against his prostate, a mere graze on the swollen nerves pushing to the brink of an untimely orgasm. His head spun as he rutted his hips back, needing to feel that pleasure again but not knowing how with Taehyun refusing to move his fingers.
“Ta-Taehyun- give me, ah! I need-”
“Say it,” Taehyun dug his finger into the pearly beads spilling from Soobin’s cock, slowly withdrawing his fingers. “Say you don’t know how to use your big dick, that you’re a cock hungry whore.”
A juxtaposition. That was Choi Soobin. But maybe for one night, he didn’t have to fight what he really wanted. Maybe he deserved to be selfish just this once.
“I-I don’t know! Kn-know how to fuh-fuck and- ah! I’m a wh-whore for c-cock!”
“Good boy, Soobinnie.”
Soobin all but screamed as Taehyun pressed against his entrance, the well-lubed hole immediately opening up for him. The pulsating length was nothing like the fingers he’d been prepped by, a concoction of pain from getting split open and searing hot pressure sending every cell in his body into a frenzy. He couldn’t breathe, every choked-up inhalation he took immediately pushed out by a moan that sounded nothing like himself.
“I haven’t started fucking you yet and you’re already this messy?” Soobin whined, the words meant for mockery not quite reaching his ears, the syllables mixing and scrambling in his melting brain. Another sharp smack bounded across the walls as Taehyun pulled back, Soobin’s walls clinging onto his length and vacuuming him back inside. “No good as a cock sleeve either? Fuck, are you sure no one’s fucked you before?”
Agony coursed through Soobin’s body, the repeated smacks against his ass surely creating a nasty bruise, likely to affect him for whatever schedule he had lined up for tomorrow. But he didn’t care. The consequences he’d face in the morning were a distant future. He’d spent so long wanting to remain close to the ground, to remain within the bounds of who he should be. And now that he could see the ecstasy lying next to the sun, why would he ever want to fly any lower again?
Taehyun snapped his hips without a distinct pattern, alternating between shallow bursts and deep penetration, the uncertainty of his thrusts leaving Soobin to hang by a thread over a vat of pleasure. Every inch of his body was bursting from its seams, torn apart by the molten remains of his dissatisfactory orgasms and measly handjobs.
“Hy-hyunnie! I can’t- too much!” Soobin sobbed into the sheets, the mattress perhaps damaged permanently from his drool and tears. He mouthed against it, the cotton several shades darker than it used to be and clinging to his cheek.
“Not yet-” the younger clicked his tongue loudly and pulled out completely, leaving Soobin’s abused and puffy hole gaping around nothing. The leader cried out and pushed his ass back, frustration like he’d never experienced before accumulating for every nanosecond he didn’t feel Taehyun inside of him.
“Puh-please…I need- need to, ah-!”
Soobin felt the wind knock out of his chest as he was flipped onto his back, Taehyun, with his glasses sliding down his nose, caging him against the bed with that indescribable dark swirl fogging his eyes.
“You’re the prettiest like this, hyung,” Taehyun mumbled and cupped the leader’s cheek, caressing the curve tenderly. Soobin mewled and leaned into the touch, his pleasured whines jumbling into filth of wet thrusts and moans as Taehyun slammed back inside, tugging the older’s legs over his shoulders. “A mindless doll to be used for pleasure and nothing else.”
The effect of the comment crashed into Soobin immediately, his entire body trembling as the new angle repeatedly abused his swollen prostate. Meaningless babbles and drool spilled freely from his permanently opened mouth, every muscle holding him in place falling lax and turning him into the doll Taehyun had claimed he was. And with a particularly hard ram forward and a palm curled around his neglected cock, the remaining ooze of his brain crumbled into the abyss he’d been yearning after for so long. Seconds after, he, in his waning consciousness, heard Taehyun groan and nestled deeper inside, his sensitive walls twitching uncontrollably as the younger spilled inside of him. Taehyun wobbled and fell on top of Soobin with his dick still spurting his seeds, nuzzling into the leader’s neck contently.
It was only after Taehyun had pulled out and began cleaning both of them off that Soobin felt lucid enough to speak, the numbness in his limbs teetering into a pleasant warmth instead of the searing ecstasy it once was.
“Uhm…Taehyun-ah…your glasses-”
The younger man cocked his head to the side, an action that was so far apart from what he just put Soobin through, and grinned, taking the wired frames off for Soobin to look at. Soobin took a cautionary glance at the lenses and whined loudly, his flushed cheeks taking on a deeper shade of embarrassment. But the glasses, littered with Soobin’s cum, was only more proof that he’d finally found satiation.
Soobin was a juxtaposition. But maybe Taehyun was too and together, they could both forget about the dissonance that kept them hostage from their true desires.