Chapter Text
The first thing Bill sees when he wakes up is the clear night sky, full of stars so brilliant that he barely needs a second to adjust his eyes to the darkness of the forest. The view is breath-taking, and the deep silence that surrounds him is ideal for some self-reflection time.
That is, if he wasn't completely naked in the snow.
The second thing he notices is the burning sting from the cold against his skin. He struggles to get up, helping himself with his hands, feeling the pain of a thousand little knives everywhere his body makes contact with the snow, shaking like a leaf and hugging himself to keep the natural warmth that comes from his body. Unsure of what to do, he takes a few steps, his feet sinking deep and becoming stiffer each second that passes. He sees the shore of a frozen lake a few meters away and speeds up his pace, stopping when he's finally able to see his reflection in the ice. Wow, that was nearer than he thought. A violent shiver goes through his body, and Bill looks at his trembling hands, suddenly shaken by the realization that this is happening . He's back. And human.
Ugh.
The Axolotl has gifted him a lanky, pathetically vertical body. His arms are like overcooked noodles, with slim shoulders and boney hands. He looks down to find his ribcage, flat and with almost no curves, and he can easily see two or three of his ribs. This body also seems to be a little malnourished. Great, a weak flesh-cage is just what he needs right now, in a calm, beautiful and totally not freezing winter night. He looks a little further down and there's... uh... that thing. It looks... sad. To say the least.
At least his face is not too disgusting to look at.
Another shiver shakes him off his thoughts, and he starts coughing roughly as a cold gust of wind hits him from behind. He goes into the woods again, occasionally running into a tree, until he averts a light in the distance.
Which happens to be, of course, the Mystery Shack.
He knocks on the front door a little too hard, and when the door opens, he's standing face to face with a tender-looking woman. Her eyes instantly flash at his body and her brows furrow in worry. "Soos, darling! A blanket, now!", she shouts, barely looking away from Bill and to the insides of the shack. "Hurry, get inside! You're shaking!", she taps him on the shoulder, and the warm touch feels nice. Bill enters in silence, getting the carpet wet and full of little snow scraps. In a matter of minutes, he's wrapped up in an old blanket that smells a little like mold and old man perfume, sitting on the living room's couch. He's holding a mug with freshly brewed tea between his hands, staring at the floor, instead of the couple that sits in silence on the other side of the room. Soos clears his throat once, but Bill ignores him, thinking that if he doesn't say anything, it will take maybe a couple of minutes for them to kick him out and into the snow again.
"I'm afraid we'll need some answers, mister", Melody finally says, softly, but her voice tone doesn't admit questions. Next to her, Soos seems profoundly uncomfortable, his cheeks still bashfully pink since he entered the room to find a naked stranger in front of the shack. However, no matter how awkward things are, he's definitely not leaving his pregnant wife alone with said stranger. He's even grabbed a pan from the kitchen to use for self defense, just in case. Although the lanky man doesn't seem like he could put up a fight with him, anyway. "Do you remember how you got here?"
Bill still doesn't look at them, dropping his shoulders an inch and lowering his head, like a cornered prey. A minute or two pass in silence, only broken by the sizzle of the chimney.
"What happened to your eye?", Soos asks this time, earning a scolding poke from his wife. The question startles Bill, who lifts a hand to touch the empty cavity where his right eye should be, only to find his eyelid completely shut. Well, that explains the lack of depth perception. He runs a hand through the tangled locks of his hair, thinking.
"Dunno. It's not there, I think", he finally replies, still looking anywhere but their faces.
After a moment, Melody sighs. "Well, sir, we'll get you some clothes and my husband will drive you to the police station. They’ll know how to help you", she crosses her arms above her round belly, shaking her head with apparent frustration. She's about to leave the room when Bill extends his hand in her direction.
"...No, wait, I- I need you to let me stay here. I... are you looking for staff? Bet you're pretty busy with this place", the words mindlessly spilling from his mouth. The woman seems to think about it for a little, giving him a barely perceptible nod.
"I guess we could use some extra hands. But you're gonna answer our questions first", she states firmly. "Otherwise, you're on your own", she adds, narrowing her eyes.
"Deal!" Bill says, cheerfully and with a wide grin. Melody leaves the room to get clothes for him and he sits in awkward silence with Soos narrowing his eyes at him. Bill starts to wonder whether he'll recognise him, when the man rubs his chin thoughtfully and says:
"So, you're new in town?"
Bill sighs. He's stupider than I remember , he thinks. When Melody steps back in the room, Soos is still humming to himself, while Bill looks around, delighted with all the depictions of his triangular form that he can find. Windows, tapestries, carpets, even faint scrapings in the wood beams from the ceiling. I'm not the only one who's struggling to let go, huh. The thought clashes through his mind before he can even process it, his face burning red all of the sudden.
Melody gives him a green t-shirt with a question mark on it, two or three sizes bigger than him. "Sorry. Universal size" she says, shrugging and handing him clean underwear and a pair of sweatpants. When he's changing in the bathroom, he hears them whispering and freezes, sharpening his hearing.
"I'm telling ya, Mel, I feel like I know the guy from somewhere", says Soos, with suspicion in his voice.
"Dear, you said the same thing of cardboard Santa from the thrift shop", she reassures him softly.
"That dude was suspicious too"
Bill scoffs and rolls his eyes as he feels his heartbeat quickening. What's he panicking about? They were going to find out anyway. He knew it'd take some effort to convince them to let him stay.
He looks at himself in the mirror, fully dressed. The pants were loose, but he was able to adjust them to his waist making a tight knot with its laces, and the shirt was huge, but soft against his skin. He had dark bags under his eyes and a little grown mustache, but other than that, this body didn’t seem too old. It reminded him of Ford and his hillbilly lab partner-wannabe, when he first met them. If he had to take a guess, he’d say this piece of flesh was thirty or maybe forty years old. That explained the back pain and weak joints, too. Damn it, he was just some geezer now. How humiliating.
When he steps into the living room, he finds the couple discussing whether a cardboard human figure could be potentially alive or not, and they both look at him at the same time.
“Not so bad, right?” Melody says, looking at the clothes with a proud smile. “Forgive my rudeness, but we’re not letting you stay in our house without making sure you’re not some sort of creep. So, sit down and eat, and then we’ll talk”, she says, pointing her thumb to a metal plate with food. It looks decent enough, and Bill just realizes how hungry he is. He does as he’s told, but before he can even grab the fork, Soos’ phone starts emitting a loud screech, the vibrant lights of the funny video of a dog startling him and making him drop it. The phone hits Bill in the face, and when Soos approaches and grabs it, apologizing, he sees something rather unusual under the screen light.
“Your… your pupil… oh, no”. Soos’ face is frozen, eyes wide in fear. He extends an arm in front of his wife, posture stiffening. “Stay back, Mel! I knew it! You- you evil triangle! You’ve possessed someone again!”, he shouts, taking a step back and grabbing the pan. Bill barely manages to show his hands in a peace signal when he gets smacked by the metal furniture. “LET. GO. OF. HIM”, Soos yells, pointing each word with another hit, with his eyes closed. Bill’s twitching on the floor like a smashed cockroach, muffling and swearing under his breath. Pain is suddenly not as fun as he remembered. Melody yanks the pan away from his husband, yelling.
“Soos, stop! He’s not even putting up any resistance!”, she puts a hand on his chest, frowning. On the floor, Bill cackles bitterly.
“Quite a way to say hello, Question Mark”, he barks, rubbing one of his brow bones. That’s gonna leave a mark. “At least your wife’s nice to me. Wonder how you pulled someone so out of your league”, he adds with venom.
“You- you-” Soos starts, but Melody cuts him off.
“Jesús Alzamirano Rodríguez. Calm down and explain what’s going on right now” she deadpans, narrowing her eyes. “And you, sit down and eat”.
“Don’t think you can go bossing me around, human! I’m a superior being! An all-knowing dream demon!” he spits with disgust.
“I said eat ” she grabs him by the collar of the shirt, making it very clear that she’s holding the pan now. Bill shows his hands in surrender, getting up with some struggle and sitting on the couch again.
Half an hour after, the three sit in silence again. Melody closes her eyes, thinking.
“Let me see if I got this right. You”, she points her index finger at Bill accusingly, “are the son of a bitch who turned the whole town to a mess and almost caused the apocalypse while I wasn’t here. And you-”, she turns around to face her husband, pinching her frown in distress “waited until now to mention these little details .”
“Mel, I’m sorry! This dude turned my Abuelita into a recliner sofa. I was worried you’d get stressed and it would affect the baby… I’m so sorry”, he gently caressed her shoulder, with a guilty face.
“Relax, lady. As I’ve already told you, I don’t have my powers. I’ve been limited to the physical form of a normal human while in this realm. Your little boytoy demonstrated my point a few moments ago. Excellent management of the pan!”, Bill said, rubbing off some mashed potato leftovers from the corner of his mouth. He can feel Soos tensing up at the mockery. He’s got a bit of dry blood over one of his eyebrows and a cut lip from the pan incident, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“And why should we believe anything you say? No, even better, why should we not kick you out at this exact moment?”, she asks, grimacing as he shamelessly licks the plate.
“That’s the funny part of the story! There’s no reason. I’m here to pay for my sins ” he mocks, gesturing little braces with his fingers, “and I need to stay in this dirty shack in order to do so. If you kick me out, I’ll die. Simple as that! Ha!” he laughs at the thought, but deep inside, a part of him actually hopes that they’re dumb enough to have mercy with him.
There’s another moment of silence, before Soos speaks.
“As much as I hate this dude” he starts, frowning and still clenching his fists, “I think everyone deserves a chance to fix things up”. Melody tilts her head a little, considering the option, and finally agrees.
“Alright. You’ll help with the business”, she says, smirking. “We’ll give you everything you need. No payment” she clarifies. Bill rolls his eye. “You’ll sleep on the couch until we make some space for you in another room”. She stands up and fixes her clothes, getting ready to leave.
“One more thing”, Soos mumbles, getting up and walking to one of the other rooms. He comes back with something metallic and a little key.
“Where’d you get those?”, Melody asks, curiously.
“Mr. Pines left ‘em in his room. Not that I frequently look between his stuff or anything”, he mumbles, a little bashful.
“Handcuffs? Kinky” Bill taunts him, while Soos secures one of his wrists to the armrest of the coach and checks that it fits well. Both of them ignore the comment, Melody reaching to grab the plates. She turns off the roof light, leaving the room dimly lit with a table lamp.
“See you tomorrow, Bill!” she says, waving her hand. Soos leaves the room after her, gesturing with two fingers at Bill in a silent threat.
“Oh gosh, Mr. Ford will kill me!”, Bill hears him say and giggles.
He’s left alone and the silence engulfs his surroundings. Unsure of why, he feels a little thrilled. It was disappointing to find the shack empty from their original owners, but something inside him knew it wouldn’t be long until the Pines made his life a misery again.