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Akira woke up in a warzone.
Everything was noise, gunfire and smoke and flashing light and shouting back and forth.
He was sitting on the ground, hands splayed back to catch him, and honestly, he wasn't too keen on getting up. He felt the sting of a fall in his back and hands, but he couldn't quite feel the ground. He thought he might be wearing gloves.
He didn't feel like he was dreaming, but the bipedal elephant that stood at the center of it all was not convincing him of his consciousness.
There was so much yelling.
Something cracked, and with a hiss, smoke began filling the area, too dense to see through.
The monster howled in rage.
On instinct, he shied away, squinting against the smoke—there was a flicker of… something, a few bright silhouettes he couldn't make out with how quickly they vanished.
Huh.
A person (?) appeared in front of him, gleaming bright white in the black smoke. It had a red, pointed mask (??) and a sword that hummed with dangerous energy.
He didn't have long enough to decide whether this guy was gonna kill him or not before the figure was down on one knee in front of him, mask pushed up to show his face. Up close, he noticed the whole prince, motif, thing.
"Are you alright?" He asked in a sweet, gentle voice, hand held out in offering.
He had a feeling like sparkles and roses should have started manifesting to frame his face, rather than a curtain of smoke. His heart skipped a beat even as he thought, wow, I do not trust this guy.
He did have a sword, though, and Akira didn't, so it would probably be better to go with him for now.
Akira took his hand, and was pulled to his feet.
"Come on, we're heading back to the safe room," he said.
"Bwuh?" Akira said.
The other guy shot him a weird look, like he should have known what that meant—he probably should have, actually. He couldn't remember how he got here, but if he changed clothes at some point, then either he had them changed for him and then was dropped, unconscious, into elephant world, or he entered elephant world consciously, and then got retrograde-amnesia. And a concussion, probably. His head hurt.
Male Lead #1 seemed to run out of patience, and pulled him in whatever direction the "safe room" was, causing him to stumble before he got his feet under him and matched his pace.
The smoke thinned, but never truly left. The place they emerged into smelled like cigarettes. It looked like a luxury hotel, with all the gilt and velvet—but its true purpose was quickly revealed by the blinging and clatter of slot machines. I guess elephant people like casinos? Actually, there looked to be normal humans seated at the machines—
" OW."
Princey turned his head slightly, allowing him a glimpse at his bright smile. He didn't look sorry at all. His death grip loosened, leaving a slight sting in his wrist.
"Sorry, but we must keep up with the group, Joker."
Group? Joker ?
He looked up and saw a pack of cosplayers running ahead of them.
He entertained, briefly, that he was a convention of some kind, but those didn't usually have live gunfire.
Maybe a very realistic LARP?
A UFO rushed overhead to the front of the pack. A voice blasted from it.
"It's just ahead of you, Queen."
The figure at the front of the group made a sharp turn and slammed open a door in the wall, waving everyone else frantically inside.
As the last one in, he heard it slam closed, and the group deflated with an audible sigh.
They set themselves into various chairs or against the wall. Someone melted into the table's surface and groaned miserably.
He would have thought masquerade ball from the first guy, but, beside the masks, there wasn't a common theme he could pick up on. Maybe a… BDSM-punk-scifi/fantasy convention? Yeah, sure.
The girl that waved everyone in (Queen?) stood miserably in the center of the room, hands folded, meek posture completely at odds with her brutalist costume.
"I'm sorry, everyone. If I hadn't pushed for us to keep going-"
"Aw, no—"
There was a rush of sympathy and reassurance from the others, as exhausted as they looked.
"-and we're here for you, right, Joker?" The blond punk-rocker asked.
Everyone looked at him all at once. He felt their expectations like a physical pressure on his back.
"...Joker?
"His status effect is still active," Tron girl said from her corner on the floor, not looking up from her laptop. "Sorry, I got distracted."
"Doesn't that usually clear after battle?" One of the three musketeers asked, hand raised like they were in class.
"Maybe it's because we used a smoke bomb…" a monster-cat thing said. Not just elephants, then.
"Wait, so he doesn't remember anything?"
The crowd turned toward him once again.
"...Sorry?"
The punk gave him a sympathetic look. "You don't have to apologize, dude."
"Noir, can you-?"
"She's out of MP."
The prince stepped in front of him (too close!) and held out his hands expectantly.
"Your jacket, if you would?"
He said it so easily, Akira shrugged it off and handed it over without even thinking about whether it was a good idea. Then he got distracted by his clothes. Bright red gloves and a trench coat… inconspicuous.
On a hunch, he touched his face, and found a mask, just like the others. It seemed to be held on by sheer force of will. He took it off and squinted at it.
There was a grunt of frustration and a clatter. The cosplayers had spread his jacket out over the table and were rifling through an unreasonable number of pockets.
"I think we used the last amrita soda on Skull…"
"Didn't we have some mental floss?"
"Ugh, if we do it's wayyy old." Catwoman pulled a knife out and added it to a growing pile. "How does he find anything?"
"Don't question the logic of the in-game inventory. Use your heart."
"Ah, I've found a curry roll. How fortuitous."
"That isn't gonna help, Fox."
Akira edged over to the one in charge.
"...Is this a LARP?"
Mad Max: Fury Road looked startled. "Ah, a what?"
Computer girl doubled over laughing.
The group gave him a run-down of the situation.
- They had superpowers.
- They could only use their superpowers in the magic dimension. (Metaverse, whatever that meant.)
- They all used nicknames (he was Joker, though he could have guessed that.)
- He had temporary amnesia, because one of the elephant's friends cast a spell on him.
- He usually held all their healing items, and now they couldn't find anything.
"Did we really use everything ?" Skull muttered in disbelief.
"It's my fault…" Queen moaned, putting her head in her hands. Panther patted her shoulder consolingly.
Crow (because of the beak, maybe) was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. His fingers tapped against his arm repeatedly. "Let's just get out of the palace. I doubt it will persist into the real world, no?"
Queen looked like she might complain, but Oracle cut her off.
"That's not a bad idea. We really need to get out of here anyway."
Queen deflated. "Yes, I suppose… but someone needs to keep an eye on Joker."
"I'll take care of it," Crow said, popping off the wall. He looked anxious to leave. Even as he addressed the others, his bright eyes never left Akira.
Some of them seemed uneasy at the idea, but Queen nodded.
"Alright, then. Let's head out."
Everyone clustered into their own groups and went down the hall, one after another, needing no guidance for the return journey. The UFO floated over them, bobbing about and vibrating ominously.
He and Crow pressed up against a wall, leaning just slightly over the corner. He gave instructions in a hushed voice, so close he only needed to whisper to be heard.
"Belief is powerful here. If you believe yourself to be one with shadows, you will be. Do you see that spot next to the plant? In a moment, we'll go hide there. Move fast, no hesitation. That server will turn around soon. That will be our chance. Are you prepared?"
He nodded. It felt intuitive enough. Go from cover to cover. Don't be seen, don't be heard. Akira was good at that. The hand on his shoulder was a little distracting, though.
"Good. Now ."
The hand dropped, and he moved. Before he knew it, he was crouching in the shadow of the potted plant. In the moment they settled there, the monster in the bunny suit turned its head toward exactly where they'd been standing.
His heart was beating crazy fast. The hand was on his back this time.
"Well done. I suppose you haven't forgotten everything." There was a strange intensity in his voice. He felt a little like a mouse pinned between a cat's claws.
"It does feel… natural, I guess."
"Hopefully that means this won't be too hard for you, then. Follow my lead."
They dashed down the hallways. He could see their companions up ahead in blurs of color and flashes of costume—the flick of a tail, the shine of light on a buckle. Sneaking through buildings must have been routine for them.
Despite his obvious impatience, Crow never rushed him. He was always looking over his shoulder, always holding on to him by his shoulder, his wrist, his back. It was sort of sweet.
"You're really good at this," he said. Crow flashed him a surprised look that melted into something vaguely pleased.
"Ah, well. It's strange leading you like this, when you're usually so competent. A role-reversal of sorts." His eyes creased in a wry sort of way.
Something about his general demeanor gave him an itch that made him want to mess with him.
"So, you're saying when I'm not concussed, I'm better than you?"
His shoulders stiffened. That hit a nerve. Almost too casually, Crow turned, and leaned in so close the point of his mask would have hit Akira's face if he tilted his head wrong. He put his hand lightly on his elbow, a gesture at holding him there. His eyes glowed red-hot.
"I'd say we're evenly matched, in most respects. In many ways, you're the only one who can keep up with me," he said, voice dropping low into what was almost a purr.
…
Okay. Wow. He got the jist of this. Situation.
Crow pulled back, just as smoothly as he had come in.
"Watch your step on this next part," he said calmly, as if nothing had happened.
Akira nodded without speaking.
If there was ever a person with invisible caution tape wrapped all around them and a big red sign saying WARNING: DELICATE SITUATION, this would be it. He had no memory of this guy, and was going fully off vibes. He had no idea how future-him was supposed to feel about this.
But.
Maybe it was the electric feeling of this world under his skin, or the adrenaline high from the near-death elephant experience, or the way his ego was inflating with the flawless sneaking skills he didn't know he had, but the only thing he felt about crossing those warnings was impish glee.
He waited for a quiet moment, then said:
"Are we secretly dating?"
Crow pulled that same surprised expression, except marginally more bewildered, and also redder. His jaw went slack.
"...Excuse me?"
Akira nodded sagely. "The others don't approve, of course, which is why we're keeping it on the down-low."
"They. What do you, why do you think…?"
"It's a bad idea, creates tension in the party. Could blow this whole thing up. And your costume is too white, which breaks up our cohesion."
He paused, looked at him, looked ahead, squinted, then dashed to the next spot. Akira followed him.
"That's… reasonable, besides the costume comment," he said, looking around the corner as he did. "I still don't know where you got the idea that we're together ."
"You've got the overprotective boyfriend thing going on. And the vibes."
Crow huffed an odd little laugh as they ran.
"Can't I simply be a helpful teammate?"
"Maybe." He squinted. "You didn't deny it, though."
He was 50/50 on whether or not it was actually true. He mostly just said it to rile him up, but the way he was reacting was making him suspicious.
Crow stewed in the silence a little longer. He avoided looking at him more and more, though he couldn't seem to help glancing over his shoulder every other moment, like a compulsion.
Eyes locked firmly elsewhere, he said: "...and if I said we were. You would be fine with that?"
Akira did the quick math.
He seemed like he'd be really annoying, in some ways. Fussy. But also competent, and challenging. Maybe a control freak. Definitely a liar. Probably the type of person to talk a lot, which meant Akira only had to listen, which was nice. He was doing this cool vigilante-superhero thing with him, so he was willing to break rules (didn't mind that he was a convict, even). Anyone trying that hard to be palatable had to be kind of strange, which was ideal. And yeah, okay, he had pretty eyes and his hands were warm through the gloves, sue him.
Conclusion:
"Yeah."
Again, the flash of eyes over his shoulder. "You thought about it," Crow said, almost like an accusation.
"Was I not supposed to?"
"No, it's just…" he laughed again, just a puff of air. "You really are exceptional."
He blinked.
"Wait, so are we actually—"
"Here we are," Crow said, and suddenly they were outside.
"Everyone here?" Queen called.
"Present and accounted for," Crow called back. He nudged Akira forward.
A quick look around told him that all the people he saw last time were here.
Queen looked tense as she did the same math. Maybe she just had resting stressed-face.
"Alright, then. Let's depart."
And the world dissolved.
—
The haze of the metaverse washed over them, and they were spat back into reality. Akira's head stung like a burgeoning migraine.
"Akira?" Haru chirped from somewhere in the cluster of teens.
"Yeah, I'm here." He massaged his forehead with the base of his palm. "Sorry about that."
The tension broke.
"It's no big deal, man."
"I'm just glad nothing happened…" Makoto sighed.
They walked back to the train station as a group, chattering about the events of the last palace invasion.
Before they split up, however, Akechi intentionally caught his eye. He sidled up to him.
"What's up?"
There was a long moment where it seemed like he might say something, but in the end, he shook his head.
"It's nothing. Keep in touch for when you next plan to act."
He gave him a thumbs up, and Akechi went on his way.
—
In the streets of Yongen-Jaya, Futaba spoke up.
"I need at least a figma to make up for this."
Morgana stirred curiously in the bag. "Mm?"
Akira bowed to her. "I appreciate your discretion."
"You better. I did not ask to hear all that."
"It wasn't that big a deal—"
"You guys are so fucking weird."
He held up his hands. "I was under a status effect. I can't be held accountable."
"Wait, what are you talking about? What did I miss?" Morgana chirped.
Futaba stuck out her tongue. "Sorry, I've already been promised a bribe."