Archive of Our Own

Grief is a sneaky thing.

Beomgyu thought he thoroughly mourned his parents when they stopped feeling like his family. He grieved the loss of their warmth, their reassurance, their time.

He was angry and resentful for a while, then he thought he was indifferent. If they want to treat him like this, why should he care if they live or die?

Turns out he cares...

It’s twisted and too fucking complicated for him to figure out. He knows Yeonjun and Taehyun worry about him. They want him to open up and confide in them but how can he share his feelings when he’s not even sure what they are? All he knows is that he just spent three days at his father’s funeral, overwhelmed by emotions of all kinds, none of which he let show on his face.

And now he’s home alone with his mother who has barely spoken to him.

That part is oddly reminiscent of the old days. It's like he’s seventeen again and it’s not a nice feeling at all. He never thought he would spend another night in this house after leaving it behind for good. This time, he doesn’t even have his best friend by his side to get him through it. Beomgyu brings his knees to his chest in his cold, impersonal childhood bed, feeling smaller in it than he ever did before, as he’s catapulted right back into the past...

“I’m gay...”

Beomgyu forces himself to keep looking at his parents’ faces. Their eyes widen and they exchange uneasy looks. He’s trying his hardest not to let himself feel the sting of disappointment at their less than positive initial reaction.

Still, there’s hope. Maybe they just need a moment to process the news.

“Beomgyu, I know you’re...” his mother gestures vaguely at his ratty band shirt and painted nails, “...rebelling right now. You’re seventeen. That’s normal at your age. But...”

“Don’t do this to your mother,” his dad speaks up firmly.

Beomgyu gapes at them, his sliver of hope fading into sheer disappointment and disbelief. “Do what? Be myself?”

“That is not you!” Beomgyu’s mother exclaims, her voice shrill. “You’re not gay, Beomgyu. You’re going to marry an upstanding woman of good breeding and then you’re going to have a stable career as a lawyer.”

Beomgyu bites his lip and forces himself to hold his tongue. It makes no sense to argue with his mother about this, it makes no sense to reason with her either.

At this rate, with his current grades, there’s no way he’ll make it into an elite university. On top of that, he doesn’t want to be a lawyer. His talents lie elsewhere, and he’ll be damned if he has to wear stiff suits and cut his hair.

He won’t even entertain the ridiculous notion of him getting married to a woman and he doesn’t appreciate the fact that his mother made that hypothetical future bride of his sound like a show horse. Good breeding?

He gives his parents a look. He wants to beg them to let go of the picture they’ve conjured of him before he was even born. He needs them to accept him and love him for who he is even if he doesn’t end up becoming a fancy lawyer...

“I can’t change who I am,” he tells them, his voice shaky. He wants to stand his ground firmly, but he can’t muster more than that.

Beomgyu’s father looks at him, his features hardened. It’s like Beomgyu is looking at a completely different person. Up until now, his parents didn’t exactly hide their disappointment in how he seems to be turning out, but he still believed that they loved him in some way...

Now, there’s no disappointment, and there’s certainly no love.

There’s nothing.

They’ve given up.

With a shaky exhale, Beomgyu thinks back to his disastrous coming out. How everything changed afterwards. He wasn’t happy in this house growing up, but it all felt significantly colder after his parents stopped talking to him more than absolutely necessary.

When he left for uni, it looked almost like they were glad to see him go.

They stopped viewing him as their son without outright saying so.

At least until he introduced Yeonjun to them.

Beomgyu never forgot the venom in his mother’s shrill voice when she yelled at him. “You’re not the son I want! You are not my son!”

A part of Beomgyu, the part that identified as their son, withered and died that day. So he doesn’t understand what even compelled him to come back here and sit through three days of mourning for a man who couldn’t be bothered to check in on his only child every once in a while.

Now, he’s expected to stay for a few days post-funeral to “help his mother” as some relatives put it. It’s only thanks to his good manners that he didn’t scoff when he first heard the words directed at him.

Still, he resigned himself to doing as he was told, if only so nobody could hound him for “neglecting his poor, lonely mother.”

He craves the comfort of his own apartment, not to mention the soothing embrace of Yeonjun or Taehyun. On top of that he is still worried about Kai, although Yeonjun makes sure to text him frequent updates.

Shaking off all his thoughts of the past, he fishes his phone from his pocket and calls Yeonjun. It seems like the only reasonable thing to do to prevent himself from spiraling.

“Hi, my love,” Yeonjun’s gentle voice greets him as he picks up after two rings.

Beomgyu’s tense muscles instantly relax and a small smile finds its way onto his face. “Hi...”

“Everything okay?” Yeonjun sounds concerned. He knows Beomgyu too well and doesn’t have to see his face to tell what his mood is like.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu replies. “It’s just really weird to be here so I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you. All of you. How is Kai?”

“He’s doing way better already,” Yeonjun says. “Actually, he’s getting released tomorrow morning. Taehyun’s going to look after him while I take over some of his duties at the bar.”

Beomgyu sighs, relieved that Kai is really set to go home tomorrow. He remembers the state he was in when Beomgyu left town and his heart clenches together painfully. “Good, I’m glad...”

“But, hey, the offer still stands,” Yeonjun tells him. “If you need me, just say the word and I’ll be right down.”

And truthfully, Beomgyu would kill to have Yeonjun here with him. He’d feel less small, more grounded. But he doesn’t want to put Yeonjun through this. His mother would find a way to make them both miserable and Beomgyu wants to spare him from that at all cost.

He can manage a few days on his own. There are more important things for Yeonjun to focus on right now.

“No, it's all good. You should look after Kai instead...”

Yeonjun lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish I could be in two places at once. How are things with your mother?”

“Arctic.”

“I’m sorry, darling...”

“It’s okay,” Beomgyu waves off. “It’s only for a few more days.”

“Promise to talk to me about it when you’re back? Or to Taehyun or anyone. Just... please, Beoms, I don’t like seeing you shut your feelings away...”

Beomgyu’s chest constricts with guilt at the near desperation in Yeonjun’s tone. He knows he’s been anything but easy to handle since he got the news of his father’s illness. The last thing he wants is to worry his boyfriends, but it’s hard.

“I...”

“Beomgyu?” His mother’s cold voice calls from down the hall, making him sigh.

“I have to go, love... kiss everyone for me, yeah? I’ll be home soon,” Beomgyu tells him regretfully. If it were up to him, he would just keep Yeonjun on the line all day to keep him sane.

“Alright... miss you,” Yeonjun says.

“I miss you too. I love you...”

“I love you more.”

The call disconnects and Beomgyu sluggishly gets off his bed to see what his mother needs him for.

*

“Okay, easy,” Taehyun says, carefully lowering Kai down on the mattress.

He’s piled up every pillow he could find, and Kai lets out a pained sigh as he melts back against them.

“Comfortable? Do you need more pillows?”

Kai chuckles before bringing a hand to his ribs with a wince. “Do we even have any more?”

“Not really...” Taehyun admits. “But I can get you–”

“Tyun...” Kai cuts him off gently, reaching for his hand. “Take a breath and sit down for a moment. You’ve been looking after me nonstop these past few days.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Taehyun is aware that he probably drove the nurses a little crazy with his constant presence back at the hospital, but it’s not like he can just shut off his worries.

Kai pulls him down to sit on the mattress and Taehyun is careful not to jostle and hurt him. He gives him a pointed look; his eyes are no longer swollen shut. “I’m fine, Tyun.”

“Are you?” Taehyun asks. He doesn’t mean to doubt Kai or to make the words sound accusatory, but he already has Beomgyu shutting himself away, even more so now that he’s hours away in Daegu, alone.

Kai frowns at the question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Taehyun starts with an exhale. “You were attacked, Kai...”

At that, Kai averts his eyes, his expression turning slightly grimmer. “I know... that part’s hard to forget...”

“It’s just that you haven’t talked to me about it, and you keep brushing it off like you fell down the stairs or something.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kai retorts. “So I got roughed up a little, but I’m out of the woods and the doctors have assured me I’ll get my pretty face back just the way it was.”

Taehyun lets out a frustrated exhale. “See, this is exactly what I mean... you keep making jokes like you weren’t almost beaten to death.”

Kai tenses. “There’s nothing to say. I told the police what they needed to know to find those fuckers...”

“What about what I need to know?”

“Why, so you can be a vigilante?” Kai says, his tone joking again, though his body language is still tense.

“That’s not what I meant,” Taehyun retorts. He can’t find it in himself to laugh at Kai’s weak attempts to lighten the mood. This isn’t something he wants to just gloss over and laugh about. “Kai... you must be feeling something about it. You declined the hospital counsellor and you’re not talking to me and I’m worried.”

“Well, I don’t need a counsellor, and you already know everything. You know who did it and how it came to happen. I don’t need to rehash the bloody details for you, Tyun.”

Bloody details...

“If you could see your face right now, you’d understand why...”

Taehyun frowns. “So, it’s because you think I can’t handle it?”

“No, it’s because I don’t want to fucking talk about it, okay?!”

Taehyun stares back at him for a moment, surprised by Kai's firm tone. Then, his mouth straightens into a line and he nods curtly.

“Fine. Okay... have it your way,” Taehyun caves, getting up. “Do you need anything? Water? A snack?”

“Water would be great,” Kai says sheepishly, reaching out again as Taehyun turns to leave. “Hey...”

Taehyun looks at him. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” Kai says apologetically. “I know you’re only trying to look after me. And I am grateful that you’re here...”

Taehyun gives him a small smile, though his frustration hasn’t fully ebbed yet. Kai needs time to process what happened to him, he understands that. It’s just not easy, and to hear him snapping like that when he’s usually the calmest person Taehyun knows...

It makes sense in a way, Taehyun thinks. Kai is probably feeling a million things that he doesn’t show Taehyun. And he’s not angry at Kai for his little outburst, but it doesn’t exactly do anything to ease his concerns at all. Not when Kai is always so great at making Taehyun open up.

Regardless, he brushes Kai’s bangs aside and presses a gentle kiss beneath his bandage. “Where else would I be? Get some rest, I’ll get that water for you...”

“Thanks,” Kai says. “I love you, Tyun.”

“I love you, too.”

*

The only thing that helps Taehyun sleep at night is the fact that Yeonjun is right there with him. They’ve left the bed to Kai, scared to accidentally hurt him while moving in their sleep and Taehyun commends his past self for investing in a comfortable sleeping couch.

Yeonjun has been looking after the bar frequently, although he’s not keeping it open as long as Kai usually would. He looks exhausted and worried, the same way Taehyun probably does, but at the end of the day, they all eat together, and watch a movie. Kai looks a little overwhelmed with how much he’s being fussed over, and Taehyun knows he doesn’t like relying on people too much.

Still, they’re here for him as long as he needs them. And longer.

He’s gradually starting to do better as well. Two days at home with proper food and good company are starting to show.

Yeonjun drops by the tattoo studio on Sunday morning for a scheduled appointment. Since Kai is out of commission, he got permission to use his car to move between the studio and the bar. Taehyun wishes he could take more workload off him, but Yeonjun assures him that he’s at ease knowing Taehyun is here looking after Kai.

A knock on the door that Sunday makes Taehyun perk up from where he’s reading next to a sleeping Kai. These days, sleep hasn’t come easy with the discomfort of trying to navigate his bruised ribs. Taehyun makes sure he doesn’t wake him when he gets up. He isn’t exactly expecting company and Yeonjun knows the door code. He’s not a guest, after all.

Taehyun opens the door and promptly stops in his tracks.

“Soobin...”

Soobin looks sheepish, half hiding something large behind himself as he greets Taehyun with a timid smile. “Hi... um, I came to check in...”

Taehyun is surprised to say the least. He steps aside and lets Soobin enter, though they don’t head into the living room once the door is closed, instead opting to stay right where they are.

“I was just wondering how Kai was doing...” Soobin says timidly.

“That’s...” Taehyun trails off, still not quite processing. The last time Soobin was here was to apologize for the mess he created. He remembers the death stare Kai levelled him with before leaving them to it. “That’s really nice of you. He’s doing alright, I think...”

“You think?” Soobin asks, raising his brow in question.

Taehyun shrugs, slinging his arms around himself. “He won’t really talk to me about it. And it’s weird because he’s always so strong and emotionally mature. Usually, it’s him trying to make me talk about my feelings and my struggles. I guess, I’m not really sure how to get him to open up to me now.”

Soobin nods in understanding. “Well, from what little I heard what he went through was probably pretty traumatic. You’re here for him and I’m sure he’ll open up in his own time.”

Taehyun sure hopes so. He doesn’t know what he’ll do otherwise. Kai is surprisingly stubborn.

“Look, I know we haven’t been talking a lot lately...” Soobin trails off, his expression sheepish as if he also remembers the last time they had a proper conversation.

Taehyun looks at him. “Too busy kissing Yeonjun?”

He surprises himself with the lightheartedness of his words, and Soobin’s eyes only widen for a split second before his mouth quirks into a tiny little smile, paired with a faint tint on his cheeks.

“You heard about that, huh?”

Taehyun shrugs again. “I’ve been kissing him too.”

Soobin chuckles quietly. “Yeah, I sort of figured... anyway, what I’m saying is, I’m here if you need me. Same goes for Kai. I actually...” he finally hands over the thing he’s kept behind himself the entire time.

A humongous wedge pillow.

Taehyun takes it, his mouth opening in surprise.

“I had a broken rib in high school and this pillow saved my sleep back then. I was at my mom’s a few days ago and remembered I had it. It’s clean, don’t worry,” Soobin explains, his eyes not quite meeting Taehyun’s.

“Why? I mean–” Taehyun cuts himself off, not wanting to sound ungrateful, but this is the last thing he expected. From Soobin of all people. “I mean, you and Kai aren’t friends.”

“No, we’re not,” Soobin agrees. “But the people I care about all care about him. So...” he trails off. “Anything. I’m a text away.”

“Thank you,” Taehyun says, looking up at Soobin. He clutches the pillow against his chest. “Really, thanks...”

Soobin smiles and waves off. “I’ll get out of your hair then.”

Taehyun can’t do much more than nod, still holding the pillow to his chest as he returns Soobin’s semi-awkward wave of goodbye. He ventures back into the bedroom where Kai is awake but blinking tiredly.

“Hey, sorry, did I wake you?”

Kai shakes his head. The bruises on his face have started to fade into a green-yellowish color, still jarring, but healing, at least. “No, I just can’t find any proper rest.”

“Well, as it so happens, I may have just found a solution for that,” Taehyun says, holding up the pillow. He helps Kai sit up as he pushes aside the messy, flattened pile of pillows and replaces it with the wedge.

“Where’d you get that?” Kai asks curiously.

“Soobin dropped it off,” Taehyun replies. “Weird, I know, but he swears on it, so I figured why not give it a try.”

Kai leans back against it, letting out a small groan as he relaxes more than he has all week.

“Good?”

“Better...” Kai says. Taehyun brushes his fingers over the back of Kai’s hand and covers him with the comforter.

It takes less than ten minutes before Kai is out like a light.

*

Beomgyu didn’t plan to spend more time than necessary outside of his childhood bedroom. It significantly decreases the risk of running into his mother, after all.

Still, he finds himself in the kitchen, craving a quick snack while his mother is out running a few errands.

He keeps thinking about the perfect opportunity to stage his departure. So far, she has managed to make him stay with sad faces and heavy sighs before claiming that she’ll “manage somehow” every time he even hinted at having to go back at some point.

Curse him for falling for it every time, for caring about his mother enough that her guilt-tripping actually affects him.

So here he is now, sandwich in hand, leaving crumbs all over the floor – small rebellions – as he wanders through his old home. Not much has changed since he was last here; in fact, it’s almost eerily unchanged.

There are pictures on the mantelpiece in the living room. They’re the same as always, but Beomgyu still looks at them, not having seen them in years. His parents’ young, happy, smiling faces in their wedding pictures, Beomgyu in first grade with a wide toothy grin, though many of his teeth were missing, a stiff formal family portrait with the three of them.

The big version of this exact picture hangs in the foyer; it almost jumpscared Beomgyu when he first entered his house after so many years. He was convinced they long since took it down after he went no-contact.

One picture on the mantelpiece draws Beomgyu’s attention and he picks it up.

It shows him at thirteen or fourteen years old with his father. They’re holding fishing rods, and his father is laughing while Beomgyu looks somewhat miffed.

Until now, he had completely forgotten about this. Despite his sour expression in the picture, he now remembers the trip to have been quite fun. His father had taught him some things about fishing and there just hadn’t been any of the usual pressure, Beomgyu was so used to around his parents.

It was before Beomgyu started openly listening to “demonic music” as his mother loved to call it, before he painted his nails, before it became clear that he wouldn’t uphold the kind of grades that would get him into SNU or Yonsei.

Back when his father still loved him.

Beomgyu suddenly feels like a bite of his sandwich is lodged in his throat. He stares at the photograph a little longer before he turns it over, feeling a little sick.

He looks around the living room. The very spot his parents stopped loving him, adjacent to the dining room where his mother told him that he wasn’t the son she wanted...

God, Beomgyu needs to get out of here soon.

*

“Mommy’s home,” Yeonjun announces as he walks into the living room in the evening.

Taehyun gets up from the couch to greet him with a kiss. He’s chuckling fondly, though his brain latches onto one thing: Mommy.

The word has something stirring in Taehyun’s gut, like something just awakened within him. He doesn’t have time to unpack it right now, though. He can’t, shouldn’t. Not right now, when things are weird and hectic and the last thing he should be thinking about is Mommy Yeonjun. It was probably a joke anyway, so he shouldn’t make it weird by fixating on it.

Yeonjun lets out a pleasant hum and wraps his arms around Taehyun’s middle. It turns from a ‘hello’ kiss to something slower and more sensual pretty quickly.

Taehyun relishes the closeness of another person. He wishes he could cuddle Yeonjun, Kai and Beomgyu at the same time, but one is injured and the other isn’t here. So he focuses all of his attention on Yeonjun right now, basking in the comfort he exudes.

“You’re eager tonight, sweetheart,” Yeonjun points out with a small smile, still holding Taehyun close.

“Sorry...” Taehyun says, though his lips find Yeonjun’s again the next moment. He might be a little needy, but it’s partially Yeonjun’s fault, too, for being such an amazing kisser.

Mommy...

Yeonjun chuckles. “Nothing to apologize for.”

They make out for a while longer, hands roaming, as they enjoy each other’s closeness.

“Have you eaten yet?” Yeonjun asks finally, pulling away.

“Not really,” Taehyun says, trying to calm his pounding heart. “Kai is sleeping for once and I wasn’t up for making anything.”

Yeonjun seems to view this as an incentive. He takes Taehyun’s hand and leads him to the kitchen. “I’ll make us something. We’ll let Kai sleep for now and heat it up for him later. You look exhausted, love...”

“I am... I’m just...”

“Worried,” Yeonjun finishes for him, his observation spot-on as always. He begins to rummage through the fridge, getting out multiple different ingredients and dumping them on the kitchen counter before he starts to gather pots and pans. “I noticed you haven’t been sleeping great lately...”

Taehyun sighs and nods in agreement. “It’s hard to stop being restless. I mean, rationally, I know Kai is going to be okay. But those guys are still out there, Kai won’t talk about it, and Gyu isn’t around. I’m worrying about everything at once and I feel like I don’t deserve to relax while Kai and Gyu are going through these things.”

Yeonjun turns to him, his brows furrowed, concern visible on his pretty face. “Tyunnie... you’re doing the best you can for them. Both of them. I know it’s frustrating not to be able to do more, believe me, but you definitely deserve to relax.” He ventures over to take Taehyun’s hand.

“Have you been relaxing?” Taehyun asks knowingly.

Yeonjun huffs out a chuckle. “Busted. I guess we both need to do better,” he admits, his eyes crinkling when he smiles at Taehyun. “But hey, why don’t we just try tonight? We’ll have dinner, watch a movie, cuddle. It’ll be a proper date.”

Taehyun smiles; he can’t help it. Yeonjun is simply so cute, a romantic at heart.

“Sounds amazing, actually.”

Yeonjun grins. “Then let me wine and dine you, sweetheart~”

As Yeonjun begins to whip up a meal for them, Taehyun observes, following Yeonjun’s skilled hands as they chop vegetables with practiced ease.

He remembers Yeonjun’s first attempts at cooking back when they were teens. Suddenly struck with an urge to learn, Yeonjun looked up easy recipes and got started immediately.

Taehyun had to be the taste tester for many a burnt meal right along with Yeonjun’s mother. But he was there as he improved, he got firsthand experience of Yeonjun’s care when he was out sick during finals week in high school and Yeonjun came over to cook soup for him. He doesn’t think he’s ever tasted anything better in his life.

Taehyun has always loved Yeonjun. One way or another.

Now, they’re here, long since fully grown but still taking care of each other, dating, sharing a life. It’s still the best, most unexpected turn their friendship could have taken. Taehyun’s heart warms when he looks at Yeonjun and he wonders how he hasn’t seen it for what it was way sooner...

“Dinner is served,” Yeonjun announces, skipping over to press a kiss to Taehyun’s cheek. Taehyun’s heart flutters as he sets into motion and helps Yeonjun carry everything to the living room.

They get comfy on the couch with their dinner, turning on the TV. Taehyun practically devours his dinner. Turns out, he didn’t realize how hungry he was until he took the first bite.

The movie is some lighthearted comedy, nothing they need to think too deeply about, and it feels good to laugh.

Of course, they’re careful not to wake Kai. It’s been a while since he slept this long without waking up from the discomfort his bruised ribs cause him.

When the movie ends, the two of them share the duty of cleaning the dishes. Taehyun is elbow deep in dishwater, scrubbing everything with diligence.

“Feeling better?” Yeonjun asks him, taking the plate Taehyun hands him and drying it off.

Taehyun smiles and looks at him. “A little. Still a bit on edge, but tonight’s been great so far. Thanks for dinner, Junie.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” Yeonjun grins. “Now, if you’re not relaxed yet, we have to do something else to take the edge off.”

“What do you suggest?” Taehyun asks, handing over the last dish and draining the water.

Yeonjun shrugs. “A bath, a massage, kisses, more cuddles, all of the above. Just... whatever you need.”

Taehyun lets the offer sink in for a moment, trying to figure out his own needs. “I don’t know...”

“A challenge, then? I’ll figure you out, darling,” Yeonjun says with a grin, linking his fingers with Taehyun’s. He proceeds to lead him to the bathroom. “Shower first?”

Taehyun smiles as he lets himself be guided. Yeonjun spoiling him rotten tonight might actually help with all of this pent up stuff he’s been feeling. “Sounds good.”

The bathroom door closes with a soft thud and Yeonjun faces Taehyun, cupping his cheeks gently and kissing him. Taehyun lets himself melt against Yeonjun’s body, their kiss deepening. There are no expectations tonight. They easily keep it down to this, their hands never wandering too far.

Taehyun wouldn’t mind going further, but right now, this is nice. This is perfect.

When Yeonjun undresses first Taehyun and then himself, he does it in a slow, unhurried way, taking his time to pepper Taehyun’s face with kisses and earning himself soft giggles when he reaches more ticklish spots. Before they step under the shower stream, Taehyun wraps his arms around Yeonjun’s bare waist, looking up at him.

He recalls some of his earlier neediness again, craving Yeonjun’s closeness...

“Ready?” Yeonjun asks.

Taehyun cranes his neck, pressing a peck to Yeonjun's lips. “Now I am.”

Yeonjun smiles fondly and pulls Taehyun under the shower stream with him.

They spend most of their time in there making out, Taehyun’s hands wandering up and down Yeonjun's back. Taehyun’s brain begins to grow pleasantly fuzzy with each gentle caress of Yeonjun’s fingers, each lick of his tongue inside his mouth.

In a way, Yeonjun has always been amazing at calming him down. This is merely a new way of doing it.

“Good?”

“Perfect...” Taehyun says.

Yeonjun smiles and brushes Taehyun’s damp hair back. They get to the actual washing up part and emerge from the shower in their fluffy bathrobes. Deciding to forgo fresh clothes, they cuddle up on the couch again.

“Should we try that massage?” Yeonjun asks.

Taehyun shakes his head and traces mindless shapes on the sliver of Yeonjun’s bare chest that peeks out from the robe. “I think I know what I need now...”

“Oh?” Yeonjun raises his brow. “Anything, Tyun, I mean it.”

“You know...” Taehyun trails off, unsure of how to phrase it even as Yeonjun gives him soothing shoulder rubs where his arm is around him. “Okay, so this might be weird... but you called yourself mommy earlier...”

Yeonjun makes a noise in the back of his throat. “Yeah...?”

“I was wondering if...” Taehyun starts. “Would it be okay if I called you that? Like... in bed...?”

“Of course that’s okay, sweetheart,” Yeonjun tells him, gently patting Taehyun’s hair with a reassuring smile on his face. “You can call me anything you like. Is that all?”

Instead of trying to find more words, Taehyun kisses him. Yeonjun seems to understand regardless. He smiles into the kiss and brings Taehyun closer. Taehyun practically melts against Yeonjun, their lips moving against each other, tongues playful.

Still, that edge is still inside Taehyun, making him restless.

Yeonjun pulls away, looking up at Taehyun knowingly. “Take that off and lie back for me, sweetheart,” he says gently, untying Taehyun’s bathrobe.

Taehyun shudders pleasantly as he does what he’s told. Yeonjun’s tone isn’t demanding per se, but he knows that he needs to be told what to do right now. He slides the robe off his shoulders, and it falls to the floor between the sleeping couch and the coffee table. Yeonjun arranges the couch pillows for Taehyun to lie back comfortably before he comes to hover over him.

“Do you need mommy to touch you?”

Taehyun whimpers, blood instantly rushing south as he hears Yeonjun referring to himself as mommy again.

He nods frantically, eager to finally get what he needs. “Please, mommy...”

Yeonjun smiles before he swoops down to kiss him. His hand trails up Taehyun’s side, the feather-like touch leaving a trail of goosebumps on his skin. The gentle caress of Yeonjun’s fingertips against the side of his neck makes a pleasant shiver run down his spine.

Yeonjun seems intent on touching every inch of him, tracing his fingers over Taehyun’s collar bones, splaying it out on his chest for a moment before wandering down to Beomgyu’s favorite area – his abs. Yeonjun lets out an appreciative hum as he traces them and Taehyun’s cock twitches weakly, a sense of pride filling him that his partners all love his body so much.

Yeonjun’s lips begin to pepper kisses all over his face, eliciting a giggle from him. Said giggle quickly turns into a breathy moan when Yeonjun’s fingers find his nipple again, twisting the bud between them.

“Good?” Yeonjun asks, though Taehyun’s response is self-explanatory. He’s leaning into the touch, his nipples hard and sensitive at Yeonjun’s ministrations. Yeonjun wraps his lips around the other one, making Taehyun keen.

It’s probably too loud, considering they’re trying not to disturb Kai, but Yeonjun doesn’t reprimand him.

Instead, he keeps sucking on Taehyun’s nipple, his hand playing with his chest, squeezing his defined pec, flicking his fingers over his hard nub. Taehyun’s hips cant upwards in search of more friction, grinding desperately against Yeonjun’s bare thigh. The robe is slipping off Yeonjun’s shoulders, so he makes quick work of taking it off, soon joining Taehyun’s on the floor.

It's a new feeling, being under Yeonjun like this, both of them fully naked while Yeonjun’s plump lips move from one nipple to the other, switching up his ministrations. Taehyun keens again, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensations. He’s not usually patient enough to focus much attention on his nipples, but this is a nice change, this is perfect.

Yeonjun reads him so well, knowing exactly what he needs, and it shows in the way he uses Taehyun’s mindlessness to grind their weeping cocks together. Taehyun gasps at the feeling, letting out an almost gurgled sound at the delicious friction.

Yeonjun is quick to wrap his hand around both of them and...

“Oh...” Taehyun drawls when he feels that Yeonjun slicked it up with lube at some point. He’s so out of it in the best way, the fuzz in his brain taking over completely as Yeonjun slowly strokes their cocks, panting against Taehyun’s skin.

He sucks bruises around his nipples and sternum, hips moving against each other shallowly. He doesn’t go too slow or too fast with his hand, somehow finding the perfect balance as he makes Taehyun feel good in so many ways.

Still, Taehyun needs more.

He knows, Yeonjun doesn’t usually top, and he won’t ask it of him right now when they haven’t really discussed anything yet, but Taehyun longs for more. Fingers, a toy, he just needs to be filled...

“Mommy...” he cries out. “I–” he cuts himself off with a grunt when Yeonjun digs his thumb into his slit.

“What do you need, baby?” Yeonjun whispers against his skin.

Taehyun is panting hard at this point, sweat and saliva glistening on his chest. Yeonjun’s lips are red and slightly parted as his hand slows down its movements. It’s enough for Taehyun to gather his bearings a little.

“Can I have your fingers?”

Yeonjun’s hand falters for a brief moment as he processes the request, mouth agape. But the next moment, his face morphs into a pretty little smile.

“Of course, sweetheart,” he says, pressing an almost chaste kiss to Taehyun’s lips. “I’ll give you anything you want. I’ll make you feel so good, so relaxed...”

He accentuates every sentence with another kiss. Taehyun can physically feel the tension leaving his body more and more with every minute that passes. Yeonjun reaches for the lube again.

“Turn over for me?”

Taehyun feels floaty when he does as he’s told, wiggling himself into a comfortable position, face buried in the pillows, ass slightly elevated. Yeonjun chuckles fondly as Taehyun hears him popping open the lube bottle. He fists his hands into the pillows below him as he waits for Yeonjun to warm up the lube a little before circling a careful finger around his hole once.

Taehyun gasps, the sound morphing into a whiny little moan. It can’t have been that long since the last time somebody fingered him. His brain isn’t quite coherent enough to pinpoint who it was. Kai? Beomgyu?

Still, it’s been long enough that it feels like he was deprived for weeks. Yeonjun’s fingers are delicate and gentle, different from Beomgyu’s rough, calloused ones or Kai’s thick, thorough ones.

When Yeonjun’s finger enters him, it’s slow and careful, but not torturously so. He brings his free hand between Taehyun’s legs, taking hold of his cock and resuming the slow strokes from before, making Taehyun leak onto the couch.

Yeonjun finds his prostate immediately, drawing desperate moans and whimpers from Taehyun’s lips even just with one finger. He’s close to begging for more, but Yeonjun beats him to it, adding a second finger with one swift motion. He crooks them just right and Taehyun jolts, fingers digging into the soft cotton of the pillow.

Yeonjun keeps circling his fingers over his prostate and it doesn’t take a lot more than that paired with the constant stroking of his cock for Taehyun to cum. His orgasm hits him harder and quicker than he expected; he’s barely able to muffle his moans in time.

Yeonjun keeps his fingers inside him for a few more moments, shallowly thrusting them in and out of him as he rides out his high. He pulls them out after a few more moments, reaching for a tissue from the box on the coffee table and wiping them clean.

“Junie... mommy, cum on me...”

Yeonjun groans behind him. “Shit, baby, you can’t just say that...”

Taehyun smiles weakly. “We said we’d both relax... want you to cum too...”

Yeonjun hovers over him to press a kiss to his shoulder blade. Taehyun picks up on the moment he wraps his hand around himself, forehead resting against Taehyun’s back, breath coming out in quick pants until wet spurts hit Taehyun’s ass and Yeonjun whines against his skin.

They stay like this for a little while longer before Yeonjun reaches for a few more tissues, cleaning off his hand, Taehyun’s body and the stain on the couch to the best of his abilities.

He turns Taehyun around and pulls him close, wrapping his arms around his waist as he maneuvers him into his lap and kisses him.

Their tongues move against each other lazily and Taehyun’s brain fuzz causes him to be fully pliant.

“Better?” Yeonjun asks, pulling back to look up at Taehyun with so much fondness in his eyes that it almost hurts.

“Yeah,” Taehyun says weakly, nuzzling his nose against Yeonjun’s cheek. “Thanks, mommy.”

Yeonjun chuckles lowly. “Whatever you need, sweetheart.”

“Love being with you...”

Yeonjun kisses him tenderly. “I love being with you too. We should do this more often.”

Taehyun nuzzles against him, their bodies pressed together almost inch by inch. “We should...” he agrees tiredly.

He falls asleep in Yeonjun’s lap and doesn’t even notice when Yeonjun gently lifts him off to get wet wipes and clean him up a little better. All he knows is that Yeonjun’s arms feel familiar and safe when he feels them wrapping around his body, holding him through the night.

*

“How’s the pillow, babe?” Taehyun asks the next morning while Yeonjun is whipping up breakfast in the kitchen.

“Fuck, the pillow is a godsend. Now I might actually have to kiss Soobin too...” Kai retorts as he stretches out his legs, not unlike a cat.

Taehyun snorts, joining him on the bed. “That would certainly make things interesting.”

He runs a hand through Kai’s hair, surprised when he stops him, fingers gently circling his wrist.

“Don’t, I'm probably greasy...”

“I don’t mind,” Taehyun says earnestly.

These past few days, Kai hasn’t shown much desire to get out of bed or off the couch. Still, he looks miffed at his state, so Taehyun decides today will be the day.

“Come on, I’ll help you with your hair.”

Kai hesitates for a moment but ultimately lets Taehyun help him out of bed.

Taehyun is careful as he undresses Kai and himself before they get in the shower.

“‘S it gonna be okay?” Taehyun asks, giving Kai a worried look when he winces a little.

Kai nods. “I’m fine,” he says reassuringly, “it’s good to not sit around the whole time.”

Taehyun smiles and kisses his cheek before he gets to work, massaging Kai’s scalp as he shampoos it. He follows with conditioner and detangles Kai’s ever-growing strands with his fingers before rinsing it out and reaching for the bodywash.

He’s careful when he lathers soap over Kai's body, trying not to zero in on the dark bruises on his ribs...

Kai places a gentle hand on his shoulder, making Taehyun look up. With a faint smile, Kai leans down to kiss him. They haven’t been doing this a lot lately, save for a few innocent pecks on the lips. Taehyun still won’t let it get too far but it’s nice to be this close to Kai again after so long.

“Heard you and Junie last night...” Kai mumbles against Taehyun’s lips.

Taehyun’s breath hitches and he flushes at the pleasant memory. “Sorry... were we too loud?”

“No, I just heard that you got up to something,” Kai tells him with a small smile. “Sounded fun.”

“It was...” Taehyun admits with a chuckle. “It was also something I needed.”

Kai regards him, his brows furrowing as Taehyun proceeds to rinse the soap off their bodies. “You okay?”

Taehyun gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, babe. I just got a little too high-strung last night with everything that’s been happening. Junie helped me with it.”

“That’s good,” Kai says kissing his forehead.

Taehyun helps him out of the shower and pats him down with a fluffy towel. He grabs the comfiest set of pajamas he can find and helps Kai into them. While he’s at it, he decides to change the sheets as well, but Kai is headed for the living room instead of getting into his freshly made bed.

Taehyun follows once he’s done. “Are you hungry? Looks like Junie had to leave, but I’m sure he left something for us to eat.”

“No, I’m good,” Kai says with a shake of his head.

“Alright,” Taehyun says, sitting on the couch next to him and bringing his legs up to get more comfortable. “So, Junie mentioned he’ll be fine covering for you for at least another week, but possibly longer. He’ll do it as long as you need, but right now it’s still all good with Changbin at the studio.”

Kai smiles faintly and nods. “I could have found a replacement.”

“He wants to help in any way he can,” Taehyun points out. “We all do.”

“Anything from Gyu?”

“Not much...” Taehyun says dejectedly. “He called Junie the other day, but aside from a few texts, he hasn’t really been on his phone a lot...”

Kai gnaws at his lip a worried expression on his bruised face. “I hope he’s okay...”

“Me too...” Taehyun agrees, resting his head against the backrest. “Are you? Okay, I mean...”

Kai doesn’t meet his gaze, his expression shifting into something grimmer. “I’m fine.”

His voice sounds tense like the other day, like he’s still not going to let Taehyun in. This time, Taehyun opts against prying further, wanting to avoid any arguments. It still gnaws at him, though. He wants nothing more than for Kai to open up to him.

He sighs, sticking with his decision to refrain from prying. “Okay...”

*

“So what’s a decent drink around here?”

Yeonjun turns toward the voice, stopping in his tracks in the midst of drying off a freshly washed beer glass. “Oh, Soobin! What are you doing here?”

Soobin chuckles. “Hi to you too.”

Yeonjun huffs out a laugh. “Hi. What are you doing here?” he repeats his question.

“I figured I’d check in on you. You said you were using Kai’s car, so I don’t really have an excuse to see you anymore.”

Yeonjun hopes he’s not blushing at Soobin’s blunt words. They still need to properly talk about that kiss. But it’s been so good between them lately, Yeonjun doesn’t want to risk anything.

“I see.”

Soobin looks around, taking in the ambience of the bar. “This place is nice.”

“It is,” Yeonjun says fondly, a sense of pride filling him as he indirectly shows off Kai’s hard work. “He put in a lot of effort to make this place what it is. I still remember when he started working here back when we were in uni. This place was a dump, and his pay was shit and now it’s popular as hell. Especially on theme nights.”

Soobin smiles as he listens to Yeonjun speaking. “I can imagine. So, how is Kai?”

“Getting better,” Yeonjun says. “I hear you dropped off that gigantic pillow for him.”

“It’s nothing,” Soobin waves off.

“It was still really thoughtful of you. He sleeps better thanks to it,” Yeonjun says gratefully. “Okay, so what can I get you?”

“Hm,” Soobin says contemplatively. “Since I’m driving, I guess I’ll go for a soda.”

“Coming right up,” Yeonjun replies with a grin. He supplies Soobin with a soda and gets a beer for another customer. “Now...” he says when he refocuses his attention on Soobin. “Ask me.”

“Ask you what?” Soobin tilts his head in question, but Yeonjun can tell he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

“Come on,” Yeonjun prompts. “I know you’re dying to ask. Go ahead.”

“Fine...” Soobin caves. “Is Beomgyu doing alright?”

“I’d like to think so,” Yeonjun says. “He’s not opening up about it much. It’s been like that for a while. And I know he’s struggling, being at home with just his mother... considering how things have been between them...”

“Yeah...” Soobin says contemplatively. “I want to text, but I’m scared to annoy him, you know?”

“I’m sure he’d like to hear from you,” Yeonjun gives him a nudge across the counter.

“This is so weird,” Soobin laughs. “Good-weird, but who would have thought that you and I would ever spend more time together than Beomgyu and I?”

Yeonjun snorts. “I know... but if you play your cards right and do a little more groveling everything might go back to normal soon.”

Soobin looks at him with a contemplative expression. “Everything?”

“Maybe not everything,” Yeonjun retorts with a tiny chuckle. “I’ve discovered that I don’t hate your presence.”

“Oh?” Soobin grins. “You like me~”

“Hey now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Yeonjun is starting to understand why Kai always keeps a dishtowel on his person to whack them with playfully.

“Mhm, whatever you say, Junie~” Soobin teases.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes, though the action shows no malice as he goes back to serving other customers, occasionally sneaking a glance at Soobin who takes an oddly long time to finish his soda.

*

The police station calls Taehyun five days after Kai’s hospital release, informing him that the four suspects have been brought in. They confessed within an hour.

It is only then that Taehyun feels like he can breathe freely again. He thanks the officer and takes a moment to let the news sink in. He can hear the TV in the living room and decides to join Kai on the couch.

His bruises are healing nicely, looking way less ghastly every day, but he still winces almost every time he moves and Taehyun still doesn’t want to risk sleeping in the same bed as him lest he hurts him.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss him...

He’s careful when he presses a kiss to Kai’s cheek, though his relief seeps through regardless. “I love you.”

Kai looks surprised at the suddenness of the action, but his face softens, and he takes Taehyun’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I love you too.”

*

Beomgyu doesn’t know how he went this long without hearing Kai’s voice. It’s no surprise that he immediately tears up when he hears him greeting Beomgyu with a winded chuckle.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, Gyu... miss you, though...”

Beomgyu is inclined to jump off his bed and pack his bags immediately. “I’ll be back soon. And the second I’m home I’m giving you a big fat kiss, you hear me?”

Kai laughs, though the little intake of breath that follows shortly after lets Beomgyu know that the action still hurts. “I can’t wait.”

“I mean it,” Beomgyu doubles down. “I feel like I’ve waited too long, and I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“Good,” Kai tells him fondly. “Counting the hours, then.”

“Cheesy,” Beomgyu teases, though he’s still a little tearful.

“Hey, I’m injured, don’t bully me,” Kai retorts with an audible pout.

Beomgyu chuckles wetly. “Sorry...” He glances at his phone screen for the time and sighs. “Looks like I already have to go...” 

He has dinner with his mother in a little bit. Apparently, she invited someone over and Beomgyu has the sinking feeling it has something to do with his father’s law firm. Even after he’s long since graduated uni and found a stable job, she still hasn’t given up on him working as a lawyer...

How she wants to pull that off is a mystery to Beomgyu since he’s convinced not even his mother can magically pull a law degree out of her ass for him.

“Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me,” Beomgyu assures him.

“I’ve got nothing to do all day,” Kai says with a sigh, “might as well worry.”

“Well, don’t,” Beomgyu retorts. He feels a bit lighter, knowing he’ll get somewhere with Kai when he returns. He can’t wait to kiss him for the first time since university. “I’ll see you soon. Make sure to get enough rest.”

“I will, don’t worry. Taehyun and Yeonjun won’t have it any other way.”

“Good, I’d kick their asses if they didn’t look after you properly.”

Kai laughs quietly again. “Bye, Gyu.”

They hang up and Beomgyu feels giddy for a total of five seconds before he hears his mother clearing her throat in the doorway. “Is everything okay?”

Her voice is cold as usual. It’s awkward, this disingenuous show of concern and Beomgyu wants to just shut her out of his room and continue to sit off his time here until it’s socially acceptable for him to go home again.

Alas, his mother doesn’t do well with being shut out.

“Yeah,” he says vaguely. Then, following an inquisitive raise of her brows: “A friend of mine was attacked the other day. I was just checking up on him.”

She nods her head in slow understanding. “I see... Yeonjun?”

“No,” Beomgyu retorts coldly. “Yeonjun is more than a friend, you know that.”

And technically, Kai is more than a friend, too, but he hasn’t disclosed any of that to her, so the assumption ticks him off.

She bristles at his tone. “I don’t understand this animosity you have towards me.”

“Mom, let’s please not kid ourselves,” Beomgyu blurts out, instantly pissed off by her alleged cluelessness.

He’s had it up to here with the icy tension and the mild jabs. Ever since he came here, she’s treated him like he ran away from home or deeply insulted his parents somehow. And he sat there and took it because he didn’t want to be disrespectful during this time of mourning.

“Why can’t I ask you how your... boyfriend is doing?”

He doesn’t call her out on the fact that she can barely bring the word ‘boyfriend’ over her lips.

“You don’t get to ask me about my love life. Not when you’ve never cared before. Not when you’re still hoping this is a phase even though I’ve been with Yeonjun for years...”

“Oh, so you’ve got it all figured out then, yeah?” she snaps, crossing her arms over her chest and regarding him with an icy look. “Do you even know what I’ve been through these last few years? You ignored us the second you left for college, after everything your father and I did for you!”

“I ignored you?!” Beomgyu exclaims indignantly. “I’m sorry, did I not try to reach out to you and share my life with you when I introduced Yeonjun to the two of you only for you to yell at me and tell me I wasn’t your son?”

“I never said that,” she shoots back with such conviction that Beomgyu is almost inclined to believe her. But the words haven’t left Beomgyu’s mind since she threw them at him.

“You’re not the son I want! You are not my son!”

“Yes, you did,” Beomgyu retorts. “I still remember the exact day you said it because it’s stuck with me ever since!”

“You must have heard me wrong. I probably only said that I was disappointed in you. Which I was. And still am.”

“I never should have come here,” Beomgyu says, more to himself than to her.

“That’s just like you!” his mother exclaims. “It’s all about you no matter how much your parents need you! I’m all alone in this big house now. A dutiful son would move back home to care for his mother but you didn’t even ask how I’m doing, not even once!”

Beomgyu gets to his feet when her words make it impossible to stay calm. He feels like he’s going insane with how much she’s twisting the events of the past. “You pushed away your only son because he didn’t live up to your expectations! I don’t owe you anything. I don’t owe dad anything!”

He doesn’t mention the fact that until now, she hasn’t really been asking him many questions about his wellbeing either.

“I bet you wish I was dead too! That would just make it way easier for you, wouldn’t it?”

The words sting like a slap in the face.

“I bet you wish I was dead too.”

How could his mother think so lowly of him? She really doesn’t know him at all. She never wanted to know him... not this version of him.

“Easy?” He hates how shaky his voice sounds, hates how small he still feels in her presence. The weighing feeling of injustice at her baseless accusation is once again throwing him back to his teens in the worst way. “Nothing has been easy for me since the day I came out to you. And even before that because you wanted me to be a picture-perfect suburban son and instead you got this!”

He points at the band posters he never bothered to take down.

“It’s not too late for you to grow up,” his mother retorts. “Your father’s friend, the one who’s coming over for dinner in a few minutes, he has a daughter your age–”

“Oh my god!” Beomgyu exclaims in sheer disbelief. He knew his mother still had hopes she could shape him into the image she has of him in her mind, but for her to go this far, to spite Yeonjun like this, it’s just too much. “No, you know what? I’m not doing this...”

He tries to choke down the tears that brim his eyes as he heads for his closet and yanks out his suitcase. He heaves it onto the bed and opens it before he shuffles around the room, throwing the few belongings he unpacked inside.

“What are you doing?” His mother sounds alarmed as she watches.

“I’m leaving,” Beomgyu tells her, tears spilling down his face. “I’m going home. To my family.”

“This is your home! I’m your mother!”

“Blood doesn’t make you family. This place stopped being my home the moment I walked out of here with Yeonjun that last time. I never should have come here...”

“You ungrateful little brat,” his mother spits. Her voice turns vicious whenever her guilt-tripping doesn’t go the way she intended. Beomgyu is about to hear everything she ever hated about him if he doesn’t hurry up. “Attending your father’s funeral was the least you could have done! All that man wanted in his last weeks was your forgiveness when it’s you who should be begging for forgiveness!”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint him. And you, again. I promise it’s the last time.”

He hauls his suitcase past her and down the stairs. She calls after him, but before she can say much more, he’s out the door, not stopping, not looking back until he’s far enough down the street. He hunches over himself, half leaning against his suitcase as he tries to calm himself down in order to figure out what the hell he’s going to do next.

It’s only a little past six, so if he sets off right now, he should be able to make it home at a decent time tonight. He decides to rent a car, not in the mood to be in anyone’s presence as he processes this falling out with his mother.

There’s a car rental not too far from here. He gets a bunch of weird stares, messy hair, red-rimmed eyes, baggy outfit, dragging a huge suitcase after himself. Still, he doesn’t pay anybody any mind and doesn’t stop until he’s sitting in the front seat of a rental car and on the way home.

Beomgyu briefly considers calling Yeonjun, but he figures if he tells the anyone about what just happened, he’ll break down for good. They’ll be happy to see him, and he can deal with their questions when the time comes. For now, he needs to be by himself.

Beomgyu spends the three-hour drive blasting music – loud guitars, even louder voices, his ultimate way of comfort. His grip on the wheel is so tight that his hands hurt after an hour of nonstop driving. Regardless, he keeps going, not wanting to get back too late.

He breathes a sigh of relief when the city comes into view, nearly feeling like crying again when he’s hit with the familiarity of home.

The first thing he does is drop off the rental, opting to go the rest of the way with public transport. Instead of heading straight to his and Yeonjun’s apartment, he sets off in the direction of Taehyun’s place, knowing full-well, they’re probably there.

His fingers shaky with excitement, he punches in Taehyun’s code – Kai’s birthday – and enters. Taehyun is rustling around in the kitchen. He turns and nearly drops the plate he’s drying off when he registers Beomgyu in the doorway.

“Miss me?” Beomgyu grins, mentally applauding himself for not bursting into tears.

Taehyun responds by crossing the kitchen and throwing his arms around him like they’re the main couple at the end of a romance movie, plate still in hand. “How are you here?”

“There was a little change of plans,” Beomgyu says, nuzzling Taehyun’s neck, breathing him in. He immediately feels better.

“Are you okay?” Taehyun asks, pulling back to look at him.

Beomgyu smiles and boops his nose. “I am now. Where’s Kai?”

“Bedroom. I don’t think he’s asleep, though, so you’re fine to go see him,” Taehyun answers. “We missed you.”

“I missed you all too,” Beomgyu says, leaning closer to kiss Taehyun. It’s too brief for his liking. “These last few days fucking sucked.”

“You’re home now...”

Beomgyu promptly kisses him again, cupping Taehyun’s cheeks in his hands as their lips move against each other. He’s not sure he can put into words just how much hearing that meant to him, so he tries to show him like this.

Taehyun looks slightly dazed when Beomgyu pulls away, blinking slowly, mouth still agape.

“I’m gonna go see Kai, okay?” Beomgyu says, brushing the apple of Taehyun’s cheek with his thumb.

Taehyun nods and Beomgyu presses one more peck to his lips before heading in the direction of the bedroom. He knocks gently, his face lighting up when he hears Kai’s voice telling him to come in.

Kai is lounging on the bed, back propped against a wedge pillow. He looks a lot better than he did when Beomgyu last saw him.

“I’m here for my kiss.”

Kai gapes at the sight of him. “What– you’re here!”

“I am. Long story.”

Beomgyu rounds the bed. Kai reaches for him, pulling him closer and finally, finally their lips meet. Beomgyu makes a pleased sound and scoots the slightest bit closer, careful not to hurt Kai accidentally.

Kai kisses with more experience now, compared to the last time all those years ago. It makes sense, of course, but it’s still something that stands out to Beomgyu. His lips are slightly chapped, but Beomgyu couldn’t care less.

“Hi,” he says against Kai’s lips when they part.

Kai chuckles. “Hi. How are you feeling?”

“How am I feeling?” Beomgyu chuckles disbelievingly. “I’m fine, babe, the question is how are you feeling?”

“Better,” Kai tells him, beaming. “I’m so much better now.”

He takes Beomgyu’s hand, bringing it to his lips and leaving a chaste kiss on his knuckles. Beomgyu feels like he’s about to combust and he’s shocked to realize that he’s tearing up again.

“I love you, Kai...” he says, the words he’s been holding so tightly in his chest, finally spilling out. “I didn’t want to say it like this, under these circumstances, and I don’t know if it’s the same for you but...”

“I love you, too,” Kai says, lacing their fingers together.

Beomgyu’s eyes widen. “You do?”

Kai kisses him again and it’s even better than the last time. For the longest time, Beomgyu let himself overthink. He thought Kai merely saw him as an addition to being with Yeonjun, which, in hindsight, was a ridiculous thought. Because with the way Kai looks at him when they pull apart, it’s clear that Taehyun was right when he said he should go for it.

“You do...” Beomgyu says with a smile, still crying.

Kai squeezes his hand, a smile playing on his face. “Can you stay with me tonight?”

“Of course,” Beomgyu says fondly. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Kai looks tired, so Beomgyu wastes no more time, getting more comfortable next to him. Kai makes space for him in bed, though he groans once when he moves in a way that seemingly hurts his ribs.

“Hey, I’m good like this,” Beomgyu tells him with a smile, not wanting Kai to shift around too much. After everything, he probably won’t get any sleep anyway – a detail he withholds from Kai.

It doesn’t take long for Kai to fall asleep, Beomgyu pets his soft, long hair gently. It pains him to see Kai like this, propped mostly upright, a hint of discomfort on his face even in his sleep. He recognizes the pillow, though and a small smile finds his face, knowing that this thing is probably Kai’s best bet.

He makes a mental note to thank Soobin later.

The door opens quietly a few minutes later. Yeonjun stops in his tracks when he sees him.

“Surprise,” Beomgyu whispers, chuckling when Yeonjun practically flies over to hug him.

“When did you come back?”

“Not too long ago. I had to come home, had to see all of you,” Beomgyu says quietly.

Taehyun steals into the room as well with a pile of pillows and blankets which they strew out all over the floor, careful not to wake Kai as they curl up in and around the bed, wanting to stay close.

Beomgyu is still awake long after Taehyun and Yeonjun fall asleep and he observes them, fondness washing over him when Taehyun turns, burying his face in Yeonjun’s chest.

This feels like a happy ending in a movie, surrounded by his chosen family, not fully okay, but aware that he’s going to be fine.

There’s just one little thing that’s missing, he thinks the very moment his phone buzzes with a text:

Soobie <3 01:45 AM
hey...
I know it’s late and idk if you’re asleep or not
but knowing you, probably not
I just wanted to ask how you are
and tell you that I’m here...