Chapter Text
Friday, October 11th, 1996
‘Welcome back to Chicago One News. Today, I’m delighted to be sitting down with an up and coming band returning to their roots for the start of their nationwide tour. With a loud sound that can only be overcome by the passion laced into their lyrics, Corroded Coffin rose to popularity at unprecedented rates…’
The news reporter was cut off by the sound of shattering glass, which was followed by a hitched breath of surprise and a whispered, “ Fuck.”
Steve had turned on the TV to serve as background noise while he did the dishes from dinner, but now the wine glass that he was rinsing was in pieces, mixed with the two-inch-deep soapy water inside the stainless steel sink, and he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking.
Corroded Coffin. It had to be a coincidence, right? There was no way that it was his Corroded Coffin.
Still, it wasn’t like Steve could continue doing the dishes while blindly listening to the news. Acting on autopilot, Steve shut off the kitchen sink and moved to the living room. His legs gave out the second he reached the couch, a result of his eyes catching the television and confirming his suspicions.
For the first time in almost nine years, Eddie Munson was sitting in front of him.
Well, not literally - but he was on Steve’s television screen, joined by Jeff, Frank, and Gareth. He was on the fucking news , smiling wide and decked out in leather and chains and Jesus Motherfucking Christ, he was just as beautiful today as he was all those years ago, off being a successful rockstar while Steve couldn’t do any better than being a miserable househusband-
No. Don’t go there, Steve.
He wasn’t miserable, not really. He was married to his gorgeous, successful wife and he got to relax at home in their apartment all day.
Well, relax when he wasn’t doing all of the chores, or organizing his wife’s calendar, or cooking her meals for her shifts. He had the opportunity to relax when he was alone- even though he could never really let his guard down when he was by himself. He was still plagued by memories of the Upside Down that had his breath catching in his chest whenever there was a sudden sound, convinced that the nightmares of that alternate dimension had tracked him down and were here to finish the job once and for all. He’d taken to writing in his spare time, finding solace in the way he could recall what happened all those years ago, about what those days meant to him, about what they did to him. He could tell the whole truth in the journals he kept, rather than chalking his scars up to an animal attack or excusing his nightmares as a side-effect of watching too many horror movies.
Steve was alone when Ellie was gone, and he was alone when she was home- because even then, she was more interested in going to bed or going out for drinks with friends. That very thing had happened tonight, in fact, when she’d come home to change and then raced out of the apartment to grab drinks with a coworker rather than eating the dinner that Steve had spent hours cooking. The dinner that he had made to celebrate their five-year wedding anniversary.
To be fair, he could have asked her to stay. Could have reminded her of the date, shown her that he’d spent the day making her favorite meal.
Instead, he told her to have fun with her friends, to be safe, and ate their anniversary dinner alone. He started doing the dishes after that, also alone, and that’s when he heard the news, and now he was here, and it was like Eddie was judging him.
Judging him for choosing this life, judging him for being a coward and giving into his parent’s dreams for him, judging him for not standing up for himself or following his heart, judging him, judging him, judging him.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. In ‘86, Steve thought that he’d be with Eddie forever. In ‘88, when that dream had been dashed for about a year and he was at the height of his depressed self-loathing, he met Eleanor, and their summer of whispered secrets and bonding over dumb movies began.
It was early summer in ‘88. The kids were all driving age, and even though they didn’t intend to do it, they spent less and less time with him and more and more time with each other. Robin was on an exchange trip in France through her school for the entire summer, too. She’d gone off to college in New York at the end of the last summer, just before the rest of his world crumbled below him, and he’d been left to pick up the pieces alone. Steve had been able to call and chat with her about it occasionally, but she was always so excited to talk to him about what life was like in the city, and she always got so sad when he brought up what happened between him and Eddie. It didn’t cause a rift, per se, but they weren’t as close as they were before, and with international calls being so expensive, he hadn’t really had the opportunity to talk to her after she’d left for Paris.
All that to say, he was really fuckin’ lonely that summer.
It all changed when he met her. She was beautiful. Brown hair, curly and draped over her shoulders in carefully-formed ringlets. She had these big hazel eyes that he had drowned in the first time he saw her across the room at Family Video. She always asked for his movie recommendations whenever she came into the shop- which was a fairly common occurrence, given that she had a habit of coming in at least every Tuesday and Thursday to rent a new flick.
After two weeks, she was so bold as to invite him over to actually watch his recommendation with her, and it’s not like he had other plans . So, he said yes.
Y’know those moments when your whole life turns on its axis, and you don’t realize that the decision you made was so cataclysmic until much, much later? For Steve, that was his ‘yes’ to Eleanor (‘ Ellie’, as she insisted she be called- a nickname that made his heart ache and stomach turn if he thought too hard).
They ended up watching movies together weekly, then scheduled once-a-week dates in addition to that once Steve finally told her that he’d like to date her- to which she’d responded ‘ What do you think we’ve been doing all this time, Steve?’
Over time, he learned more about her. She was finishing up her undergraduate degree in Chicago, and she planned to take the MCAT so that she could go directly to med school after that. She had come to Hawkins for the summer to spend time with her grandparents, she explained, but decided to sublet an apartment and stay there rather than live with them 24/7.
She was insanely smart, to the point that Steve wondered why she bothered spending time with him, but she never made him feel bad for processing some things slower than others. She always exercised so much patience with him, and even made remarks about her inability to see things the way Steve did. It was more than a lot of people did, and Steve would be lying if he said that it wasn’t one of the things that helped him fall for her initially.
The summer ended and she moved back to Chicago while Steve stayed in Hawkins. Instead of ending things, they decided to try out long distance. It worked for them, surprisingly. It came with a major increase in his phone bills, which had his parents calling to ask about what he was up to, then gushing over him finally finding a nice girl to settle down with, and-
Honestly, after everything?
After being practically alone for an entire year?
It was easy to forgive his absent parents. It was as simple as breathing to slip back into their version of him, to have weekly calls with his mother and father, to discuss things like the economy with his father and to please his mother with stories of what Ellie was up to at school. It was a script he was familiar with, a part he had been raised to play for the majority of his life.
His parents actually came home for Thanksgiving that year- something they hadn’t done since he was a kid - praising him for getting his life back on track in between conversations consisting of their usual small talk and mentions of selling the house when Steve was ready to move to Chicago. Steve even got Ellie to come by for dinner that night, and she absolutely charmed his parents with stories from school and gushed praises about how perfect of a boyfriend Steve was.
After having nothing, that was everything .
Now, though? With Eddie across from him, Steve couldn’t help but recall everything he gave up in favor of that ounce of approval from his parents.
How he stopped talking to Robin, how he had to miss the kid’s graduation to attend Ellie’s, how he moved from Hawkins to Chicago without a single goodbye to the people who he went to literal hell with, too swept up in the hecticness of moving to a new place. How his decisions were supported by those around him, reinforced by his parents constantly speaking negatively about who Steve became from ‘84 through Spring of ‘88, how he was so much better now; bolstered by Ellie making soft comments about how much happier Steve seemed compared to when she met him.
Was it worth it?
With the ache of loneliness weighing him down more than it ever had before, and the near-impossible expectations from Ellie and his parents to be the perfect house husband- Steve couldn’t say that it was.
He ached to talk to Robin again. Would give anything to laugh with Dustin about stupid nerd shit, to shoot hoops with Lucas and talk with Max about life, to tease Mike until his ears got pink with anger, to bond with Will over his art, to just be there for El, after everything she went through. To be hugged by Joyce, to share a beer with Hopper, to see how much Erica had accomplished.
It had been more than eight years since he’d even talked to any of them.
He gave up who he was, who he loved, for the idealized version of himself.
The realization had him gasping, choking back tears with a hand clasped over his mouth, desperate to keep his sorrow quiet even though there was no one present to hear him. With his other hand, Steve ripped his glasses off and wiped furiously at his cheeks.
After a while, the tears slowed, his breathing evened out, and his focus returned to the television screen in front of him.
‘…all that to say, the guys and I are just really happy to be back in the area. We’re thankful that we have such a great support system built up of our chosen family, and that we have our wonderful fan base. Without them, we wouldn’t be here, launching our dream tour from one of the first real venues that we ever played.’
‘There you have it! Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Frank- it was a pleasure to sit down with you all to talk about your music and the upcoming tour. Viewers at home, if you want tickets to opening night of Corroded Coffin: The Horrors We Endure tour, the box office will be opening at noon tomorrow, Saturday October 12th, at The Crow Theater downtown, with the show starting at 8pm. Other show dates and locations are in the newest issue the Rolling Stones. Guys, good luck on your tour, and thanks again for joining us at Chicago One News. After a short commercial break, we’ll be talking about the best meals to make for a healthy Halloween dinner, so don’t go anywhere! From Chicago One News, I’m…’
Steve shut off the TV abruptly and stood from the couch. His feet carried him to the bedroom he shared with Ellie, straight to his corner of the closet, and he had what he was looking for in his hands before he even registered that he was searching for it.
He had stored everything away after Eddie left him Hawkins, too upset to look at the items holding those memories, but too sentimental to dare part with them. Everything found a home in an old Reebok shoebox, the very box now in his hands, and despite everything that happened since summer of ‘87, he still had it.
He carried the box to the bed and set it down on top of the duvet. He let himself drop onto the bed next to it, creasing the precisely-straightened sheets that he had been so focused on making perfect that morning.
That effort seemed pointless now.
Steve lifted the lid off the box and stared down at the contents, his hands shaking at the memories laid bare in front of him. His eyes caught immediately on the red guitar pick necklace draped over the countless photographs, and, without thinking, he picked it up, letting his thumb run over the grooves in the plastic while his mind transported him back in time.
“I want you to have this, Steve. It’s from that night. The most metal concert in history.”
“Eddie, I can’t-”
“I know that this is all still really fresh- both, y’know, us, and what happened down there, but… shit, Stevie, I wouldn’t have made it outta there if it weren’t for you. You’re my good luck charm as much as the pick is, and it’d mean the world to me if you wore it. Please, darlin’?”
How could Steve say no to that?
With trembling hands, Steve unclasped the chain and brought it around his neck, locking it in place there. Its familiar weight brought tears to his eyes, reminding him of all he’d loved- and all he’d lost. All he’d given up.
He grabbed a photo from the box next, clutching it like a lifeline as he squinted down at the memory, his vision slightly fuzzy due to his glasses still lying abandoned in the living room.
His arms wrapped around Eddie’s waist, Eddie’s head thrown back in laughter.
Steve couldn’t remember the last time he smiled like that.
He dropped the photo onto the bedspread next to him and grabbed another, his thumb brushing gently against the white border of the polaroid.
It captured one of the pool parties he threw in the Summer of ‘87, when life had finally calmed down and everyone felt safe enough to actually have a good time, assured that the Upside Down was gone for good. Robin had Max on her shoulders, and Jonathan had Will on his. The two were playing Chicken while the rest of the kids cheered them on from their various positions in and around the pool. Eddie was in the corner of the shot, laying on a floatie in the shallow end of Steve’s pool. He was staring at the camera, wearing a soft, almost sad smile.
Had he known then, that he would break Steve’s heart a few months later?
Steve’s vision became further blurred from tears. He roughly wiped them away with the palm of his hand and grabbed another photo.
He and Eddie curled up together during a movie night.
Another.
Robin and Eddie at his sides, grinning at the camera with party hats on. Steve in the center, pouting about how the hat that he had been given crushed his hair.
Another.
Eddie hugging Dustin, the kid’s head practically in a headlock while they both smiled at something outside of the frame.
Another.
A picture of Eddie in bed, his lower half covered with tangled sheets. Eddie was propped up on his elbows, his bare chest glistening with sweat. He was staring at the camera, a teasing smirk on his face.
Another.
Eddie, pressing a kiss against Steve’s cheek.
Another.
Robin, blowing a kiss at the camera.
Another.
Eddie’s head thrown back against a pillow, his curls framing his flushed face.
Steve ruined his own life.
Another.
He may have lost Eddie, but the reasons he gave for losing everyone else- Robin, Nance, Jon, Joyce, Hop, the kids-
Another.
-those reasons were bullshit.
Another.
He was bullshit.
Another.
He could have done something .
Another.
A Corroded Coffin gig at The Hideout, Eddie standing center stage with the rest of the guys, posed for the picture.
…He could do something .
Maybe it was a stupid idea.
A plan hatched out of a longing for the life he left behind and bone-deep fatigue, borne from not letting his guard down for the last almost-decade.
It probably wouldn’t end well.
There was no way of knowing whether Eddie would even see him in the crowd- and there was an even smaller chance that Steve would get to talk with Eddie, that he’d be willing to have a conversation after all these years, after the vitriol-soaked words that they traded that night.
Still, it was worth a try.
Exhaustion claimed Steve later that night, throwing him into a dreamless sleep. He laid on top of the sheets, surrounded by countless photos painting the picture of a happier time, a time that Steve desperately wished he could return to.
He couldn’t return, no.
…but he could try to rebuild.
Ch.1 art by @hellfireloserclub
