Work Text:
Oscar is not jealous of Logan's free time. While he has to go to the paddock for some unreasonable and fucked up work, Logan stays home and spends his time on god knows what. Maybe sometimes golfing with his American friends when they are in America or fishing or hanging out with Liam.
Oscar sometimes wishes he was the one Logan spent time with.
Logan has always been close with Liam. For some reason, Oscar can't care less about it. And now that he is not an F1 driver anymore- he gets to see Liam more often. Oscar is opinionless when it comes to Logan hanging out with Liam. Oscar knows Liam and is sure about the fact that Liam resides in his boundary.
It's just Oscar does not like the Kiwi. He always has this attitude that reminds Oscar that Liam is prettier and better than Oscar is. Logan might realize that and leave him.
-
The McLaren garage is buzzing with noise- mechanics, machines, engines. Everything is getting to Oscar's head. He leans his head down on some desk in front of him as he closes his eyes. Monza is too much for Oscar.
Logan is in London, at their shared apartment. It's- Oscar misses Logan in the paddock like a caged bird longs for the privilege of flying.
When Logan used to be here, Oscar would do anything to be close to the blond. Making fake excuses, lying, or even pestering Lando to get the 2019 rookies together so he can tag along to the blue and disbelieving garage. Sometimes even sneaking into the garage and lying close to Logan and hear his tranquil and even heartbeats.
Other than that Logan used to encourage him to do the things that Oscar thought were wrong. He used to praise and laugh at Oscar's strong attempts to meet the blond. So Oscar got brave and did some ridiculous things to meet the blond. And now an Argentine flag sits on the corner of a recent F2 driver's face. Oscar loathes all of it.
He resents James Vowles for making a void of his lover's confidence that the American built with every passing moment and blood and sweat. He resents that disgrace of a man because he just does not get to see his lover's old charisma and characteristics anymore. That love-filled laughter is replaced with a slight frown and hum for less of words and tears that make Oscar's heartbreak into thousands of pieces.
Oscar can't do anything because he knows, he just knows that Logan envies everyone who is reaching the dream that he once constructed with every win, point, and pole. He has nothing to state about his new condition other than kissing Oscar fiercely before Oscar goes to catch his flight.
So even if Oscar does not like Liam. If Logan gets some of his sanity back just by hanging out with some prettier and better blond then Oscar won't do anything other than fisting his hand so tight that he'd feel numb because the pain couldn’t get any more bitter.
Lando flicks Oscar on the back and sits down beside him on the chair. Oscar looks up as Lando frowns and pulls out his phone. "Didn't think you'd be this upset to not see Logan anymore." Oscar scrunches his eyebrows as he replies, "Were you jumping when Carlos left McLaren?" Lando looks up from the little screen as he rolls his eyes at Oscar. He says, "I was just saying Logan looks like he's enjoying his time. Unlike you." Oscar's lips form a frown as he kicks Lando in the foot with his. He asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Instead of answering Lando turns the tiny device towards Oscar and Oscar has to move the phone away from his face as he blinks to adjust to the picture. The screen is filled with someone's Instagram story and when Oscar focuses closely he realizes it's none other than Liam fucking Lawson's Instagram story.
There are two pairs of legs and two gaming consoles sitting on top of each and a lot of snacks are thrown around in the background, some lights illuminate the TV and Oscar can't fathom why Lando is showing him this until he notices a small mention of Logan's account in the corner of the screen. So tiny that if someone is skipping they'd miss it. But Oscar does not because he knows the shorts by his heart that Logan is wearing. He knows the hand like a blind person knows Braille- he has traced the veins enough times to know which goes which way and where it goes where the camera cuts the rest of his hand.
Oscar's misery is undoubtedly even deeper now as he swats Lando's hand away. Scoffing, he says, "You don't play video games with your friends? And Logan needs to enjoy his time right now. Can you imagine him seeking thoughts that are horrible at our lonely apartment?" Lando puts his phone on top of the table and looks at him with a defeated expression. He defends himself, "Ok, buddy. I was just trying to cheer you up. How is Logan by the way?" Oscar looks away in the distance- spotting a few mechanics fuelling the car. He shrugs, "He's- Alright. Seems happy but I have known him long enough to see through the facade." Oscar trails off after saying the first word and finishes with a small voice.
Oscar just wants his old Logan back. The Logan that used to comfort Oscar because of his complicated situation with Renault, saying that he'll get a seat soon. The Logan that used to laugh like there was no tomorrow, the Logan whose smile was genuine, the old Logan that Oscar can't find anymore because he seems to be lost like a piece of a puzzle that Oscar desperately wants to fix.
It's nothing, Oscar does not care as long as Logan is there with him. However he gives himself to Oscar. But every time the laugh is made up Oscar wants to ruin everyone on this planet who turned his boyfriend into a void of emotions. Made Logan's systems update into feeling only two emotions: sadness and misery.
Lando slaps his back slightly as he stands up and assures Oscar, "He'll be alright. Just be there for him." Oscar wants to scream at him and inform him that he is trying. He really is. He really is trying to keep Logan sane by giving him the sloppiest blowjobs, handjobs, rides, and clenches. He really is trying by gifting Logan some gaming materials and chess board and his favorite movie series's marathon or the best kisses. But every time these activities are over Logan seems to drift off holding Oscar's by his hips and necks and hands.
Oscar can see, feel, and abhor it... His lover is depressed because he lost his dream just for some mistakes that weren't his.
Oscar turns his phone on to see if the blond has replied to any of his messages. Logan has a long time ago. Ending the thread with a constant reminder of affection. Oscar sends the four words back as he resents Liam.
_
When Oscar goes back to London after Monza. Logan is there, on their couch with a cup of yogurt in his hands. Oscar smiles as he spots the back of his boyfriend's head. Keeping his luggage and backpack by the entrance of the living room he enters. Not noticing the platinum blond hair sitting far from where Logan is sitting.
Oscar quietly tiptoes as he wraps his arms around Logan's neck. The blond makes a noise of surprise before he looks up and meets Oscar's eyes. In an instant, his gummy and crinkled smile is back. White teeth in display as he says. "Oscar." The Australian smiles back at him- not those lazy smiles. The smile that he keeps only reserved for Logan- bright and cheeks pink.
Logan tugs at his hand and Oscar goes to his front. Stumbles when Logan pulls him in and on his lap. The giggles are not fake anymore- which he has to muster because of some extra views. It's real and enigmatic because Logan is the reason behind it.
Logan is kissing him and making his giggles cut midway. His hands on Oscar's neck are so familiar and craved that Oscar leans more into both the hand and his kiss. Logan does not pull away first- neither does Oscar.
But when they are desperate for air- Oscar is not sure who breaks the kiss first.
Oscar looks down at Logan from where he is settled on Logan's lap. Even though Logan is taller than Oscar, he has the advantage every time he is on the blond's lap. Oscar whispers as he leans his forehead on Logan's, "I missed you." Logan closes his eyes as he rubs the brunette's neck and hums, "I did too."
Oscar intends to stay like this until the sky darkens. But water is thrown on his intention as soon he hears a familiar yet alien accent drawl out, "Are you two done?" Oscar flinches from Logan's lap and turns his head to look at the voice. His confusion is replaced with a frown because he spots Liam. Sitting on Oscar's favorite couch with also a cup of yogurt on his hands. Staring into Logan and Oscar with a neutral expression. Logan tsks- annoyed that the younger interrupted their little world.
Oscar raises his eyebrows at Liam with irritation explicit on his face. Liam just stares back at him and Oscar stands up. He turns to Logan and says, "Enjoy your bro time. I'll be in the bedroom." he emphasizes the word bro because he can't help himself. He can hide everything from the world but not his fear, lose everything in the but not Logan.
And before Logan's hand can reach his wrist. Oscar steps backward and rushes out of the living room. Fortnite music buzzing in the background.
Liam departs after 15 minutes of Oscar's arrival. Oscar is shuffling through his suitcase to find that particular hoodie when the blond enters their bedroom. He stands beside Oscar and the latter stops in his track, "Osc. Are you mad at me?" Oscar whips his head at Logan as he scrunches his eyebrows at the blond, "No. Why'd you think that?" Oscar gets the hoodie out of his suitcase and leaves it open until further need. Logan shrugs as his eyes fall on the material on Oscar's hand and it lingers there. He says, "I don't know." the Australian then turns to Logan, eyebrows arched. Logan continues, "It's just I feel like I don't see you anymore, Osc. I don't want to lose you."
If Logan could see through Oscar, he'd never say this because it's not Logan who feels like their lover is slipping away from the crack of their fingers. It's Oscar. And Oscar can't do anything about it. He just can't because he does not have the ability to do something other than hope that Logan won’t fall from Oscar's grasp. That he is holding too tight.
Oscar wraps both of his arms around Logan's neck. Pulling him close and holding him like he's fragile and Painite at the same time. Oscar gazes into Logan's eyes as the blond wraps his arms around Oscar's waist delicately and pulls him close. Oscar leans in to kiss the blond softly on the lips, "You won't, Lo." He says and Oscar wishes Logan would say the words back to him. Give him the confirmation he desperately needs. So strongly that it would be spread through all of the veins in his body and he wouldn’t be this scared anymore.
It's just that Oscar can't afford to lose Logan.
Logan smiles wide and pulls Oscar towards him closer if it's possible and kisses the brunette making Oscar lose all the thoughts that he does not want to think about. At least for that night.
_
Between the two-week break between Monza and Baku. Oscar loves his little break time when he has nothing to do other than spend time with Logan and maybe a little trip to Australia.
This time Logan insists that they visit Florida instead of Melbourne and Oscar agrees. The day before their flight when Oscar is packing his luggage, Logan enters the room in his black shorts and sky-blue polo. Blue is still Logan's color even if Blue does not care for Logan enough. Everything- Florida, Williams, the color itself. His sunglasses were placed neatly on top of his hair.
At first, Oscar does not pay mind to it but then he scrunches his eyebrows as he looks away from the luggage and at Logan. He asks, "Are you going out?" Logan shuffles through the drawers to find his wallet and whatever as he turns to look at Oscar through his shoulder. He nods as he closes the drawer and says, "Yeah. I told you last night." He walks over to the mirror to fix his hair and Oscar stays right where he was, "Who else is going?" He asks. Logan walks over to their wardrobe and opens it to find his socks, "Liam, Alex, and George."
Oscar should be happy that Logan is finally able to seek the sun and hang out with drivers from the grid. But he is not, Logan rounds the whole room and Oscar stays right where he was. The tiles are warm beneath his feet and the clock ticks in every second. Oscar's hands are held in a fist because as soon as he hears the name Liam. The fucked up unnecessary and cruel thoughts are back in his head.
Oscar whispers, "What will you be doing?" Logan finally. Finally walks over to him and takes Oscar's face between his palms, "I don't know. We are meeting at Alex and George's apartment so maybe some video games and shit." Logan finishes as he pecks Oscar on the lips and Oscar closes his eyes at the feeling.
It would be great if he stopped Logan right now. And Logan won't go if Oscar asks him right now. He knows. But Oscar won't, because as much he does not like the idea of Logan and Liam hanging out. Again. Logan is seeing Alex after a long time. And he can't take the moment away because he knows Logan cares deeply for the Thai as the older man does for Logan. Oscar nods as Logan leans forward to kiss him sincerely this time.
Oscar wraps his arms around the blond's shoulder and pulls him more closer. More.
"Are you okay with me going out?" And fuck Oscar did not expect this question. It makes him want to shake his head and answer that he is not. He does not like Liam. Liam makes him question his outside, his ability to hold Logan sane. Hold Logan together.
Oscar does not. He nods and kisses Logan more intensely making the blond laugh and ask what he wants. Oscar does not really say what he wants. He says it would be great if Logan brings some coffee for him on his way back.
And Oscar knows. Logan would never,
ever, ever say no to him.
_
It all goes downhill even more when Alex sends him an image of Logan and Liam laughing together with a game controller in their hand. The image is too clear that the shoulder of Liam is touching with Logan's and the American is laughing. The skin around his eyes knitted together.
Even though Oscar knows it's his usual smile. Not those which he gives to Oscar. Eyes so so so soft and triumphant and lips placed politely in a soft smile- Oscar can't help as his teeth clash together and he bites his lips harder than he has in months.
Alex adds the caption, "Your boyfriend seems over the moon by winning the game against his best friend." Oscar wants to reply to Alex that Liam is not Logan's best friend. Liam is just and just his F2 teammate. Oscar is his best friend. Oscar is his lover and best friend. Because Oscar has known Logan longer than anyone in the grid has. Oscar has known Logan longer than Logan has known himself.
Instead, Oscar just replies with an orange heart emoji and throws the TV remote from his hands.
_
Madelyn loves Oscar like his own mother. She has adored Oscar since the first time he visited Logan in Florida when they were like 13. Madelyn is a picky woman. Loves people who she likes and is very forthright.
When Madelyn despises a figure's presence around her- she will make sure the person knows about it. When the first time Oscar was visiting Logan, he felt very very unconscious thinking his best friend's mother might not like him. But except for the first two days- Madelyn made Oscar feel at home every other time he visited the older's parents' house.
Even 6 years after the first visit to their house, when Logan and Oscar informed the blond's parents that they were in a relationship. Madelyn still treats Oscar like the third son that she never had.
Oscar's mum and Logan's mum should not be best friends because they are the polar opposites of each other. However, they are and it makes Oscar feel things he can't decipher.
-
"Oscar, my boy." Madelyn spreads her arms as she gets closer to Oscar at the entrance of their yard. Her too blond hair is blowing because of the breeze in the afternoon and Oscar quickly shoves himself in her arms.
Madelyn says when they pull away, "So, after six months you two have remembered about me." Oscar shakes his head at her as one of the butlers at Logan's house takes his suitcase, "We try, Madelyn. But schedules have been too busy."
Madelyn chuckles at him as Logan appears out of nowhere and hugs his mother. Oscar slips a few feet away from them as he watches realization drown on the woman's face as she wraps both of her arms tighter around Logan and they don't have any words because Logan is a carbon copy of his mother. They speak without speaking.
Madelyn pulls her boy's face away from her neck as she peppers kisses over his face and finally when some tears leave the older boy's eyes- she mutters, "It will be okay, baby. You gave your everything. It will come back around." She can't do anything other than say those words because she has known all her life her boy is going to make it to his dream. And when it all comes crashing down- she has just to watch and pepper kisses over her boy who is a part of herself.
If a thing that Oscar is sure of other than the fact that- Oscar is devoted to Logan like religion it is Madelyn would go through hell and high water for Logan beyond the shadow of a doubt.
-
The dinner is the best because Logan's mother made it and not their cook.
Dalton and Daniel are sitting opposite Madelyn and Oscar and Logan is beside the Australian.
Daniel cracks some dad jokes ever since he gets back from his office and sees his son in their home. Maybe trying to lift the mood.
_
Dalton is the brother Oscar never had. And Dalton is the saving line of Logan's life. Dalton gave up on his career to give his younger brother the chance to shine when they had a lack of money.
The beach is pretty and Oscar has Logan around him so the sunset is even better. Kyle, Dalton's girlfriend and some of their friends are here having a reunion.
Oscar could not care less for any of this, really. But Logan loves his friends in Miami so Oscar also likes them. If Logan wants them to hang out With fucking Andrew Tate Oscar would comply because right now the only thing that matters to Oscar is Logan's joy.
_
Madelyn has been making the dinners almost every night and it is even better because Logan's whole family eats it together with some light talks and jokes.
Madelyn slices a piece of steak on her plate as Oscar chews on his pasta, Logan finishes up the last bits of his pasta as Madelyn asks, "How is Liam, Logan?" Oscar stops his fork midway at the name and chews slowly.
How could Oscar forget that Logan brings all of his teammates to his house? He also brought Oscar and Fred and even Alex. So it might happen during their F2 days.
Logan hums as he replies, "He's alright. His team's been playing with his future so it is effective in some ways." Dalton hums as he explains to Daniel about the conditions between Liam and Red Bull.
Oscar does not feel like eating much after that. He fiddles with his pasta with the fork and loses all his appetite when Daniel suggests, "Bring him home sometimes, okay?"
Oscar was supposed to be the family's favorite. Not some Kiwi who was just Logan's teammate for a year. Not some boy who makes Oscar question his choices.
But when the day before they return to London- Madelyn kisses Oscar on the cheeks softly and says that she trusts Oscar with Logan more than anyone at this moment. Oscar goes back to the moments that made Madelyn- a woman who is picky at liking people- believe that she could trust her son with Oscar is such an ecstasy.
Oscar curves- Logan is made for him.
-
At the Azerbaijan GP. Things for Oscar are rising. He had a great Practice session and he has managed to secure the 2nd place as his start tomorrow.
That night Logan fucks Oscar so so good that Oscar forgets he is an F1 driver and he has a race tomorrow to drive and he can't always try to melt himself in Logan's arm. The nights are great. Because during the night Logan is less paranoid. Less scared.
Tonight though as Oscar buries his face deeper in Logan's chest and fills his insides with Logan's subtle variations of perfumes- he can't bother himself by thinking about a certain blond with red streaks painted on his cheeks.
The city below is quietening with every passing minute, the buzz of the midnight in the hotel's lobby is comforting. Oscar wraps his arms more around Logan's middle and shuffles closer to the blond.
His side of the comforter is thrown around and Logan's side is slightly attached to his lower back. The air conditions buzzing sounds mix with the city below and Oscar is so happy to live in this moment with none other than the love of his life. Logan.
Logan stirs a little in his sleep and pulls the Australian closer by his shoulders. Burying his nose in Oscar's soft and pliant hair. Logan is so docile- just for Oscar though he is ascendant. Telling him what to do at the needed time. Instructing him to get ready for the loss of his mind.
Even though Baku is crazily warm- Oscar shuffles to Logan's body closer and the heat radiates in his body. He loves it.
_
Lando's mood is not his usual one. From yesterday- he has been scrunching his brows more often and saying things louder than necessary. Oscar comforted him by saying he had nothing to lose because he would find his way back inside the points. Lando just nodded at him and continued to drink his water.
Oscar is cool with being teammates with Lando for over a year. He knows Lando can get pretty moody when things aren't going his way, just like how young Max Verstappen used to be.
At a later time, while Oscar is using his mobile device due to a 1-hour delay in the race, he observes a red object amidst a multitude of papaya orange objects entering the room with the number 4 displayed on its door.
Kim wanders into Oscar's driver's room. Shuffling through his things, he turns to Oscar- who has his legs straightened on the chair front. Oscar also lifts his eyebrows as Kim's gaze falls on him, "Oscar." He says as Oscar hums and his eyes casts a shade of confusion. Kim props his hand on the massage table beside him and mutters, "Did you know Logan is here." Oscar scrunches his eyebrows and asks, "Which Logan? My Logan?" Kim nods at him as he looks anywhere but at the younger.
Oscar knew Logan would be at the paddock today, Oscar hums as he goes back to his phone. Kim again opens his mouth, "But someone is here with him." This time Oscar turns off his phone and keeps it on the table beside him. "Who?" he tilts his head to the side and Kim replies, "Lawson. Liam Lawson." Oscar's whole body is on fire. He grits his teeth together and clenches his jaw. "They arrived together?"
Kim shakes his head and says, "No. Liam was at the Red Bull garage. But now they are together." God the last sentence sounds so so wrong to Oscar's ear who wants to rip the Kiwi. He nods at Kim and Kim takes the silence as his cue to leave.
When Oscar enters Twitter after that- all he sees are posts about Logan and Liam. His skin prickles and he wants to crawl out of it and reach beneath Logan's skin and claim his as his own. Why can't Logan see- Oscar does not want Kiwi around his boyfriend. His lover. The one Oscar goes home with.
"Logan and Liam is me and my boyfriend after we waste all our money and starve."- User56
"If I were Liam, I would also not abandon my best friend who just got fired." -User007.
"Liam is so supportive of Logan. I need someone like that."- User78
"The way Liam looks at Logan should be illegal"- User67
Oscar huffs as his nostrils burn and he throws his phone across from him and does not look at where it clatters and falls. He pulls his leg away from the chair in front of him and rests his elbow on his thighs. Face burying itself between the palms and going red. He bites his lips as he walks out of the driver's room and the garage and parades outside anywhere to search for Logan.
Fred appears out of nowhere and both of them bumps with each other. Oscar curses softly as he notices the Mercedes black and looks up. Steps closer when he sees it's Fred and lunges forward.
Fred knits his eyebrows together as he wraps his arms around Oscar's shoulder and replies, "Oscar? What happened?" Oscar's tears wet Fred's branded T-shirt as he pulls his face away from the Dane's shoulder and mutters, "I don't know. But I am fuming." Fred holds his hands on Oscar's shoulders and shakes him.
"Buddy. Are you okay?" Oscar shakes his head as he looks down and wipes his tears. Even though the route he had taken was secluded. Some mechanics are wandering around.
"Logan. He has been hanging out with Liam." Oscar whispers and Fred clicks his tongue. Fred is genuine, Oscar doesn't know why he still does not have a seat in F1. Guess that's just how it works- Oscar was just lucky enough to end up in McLaren at the right time. Oscar adores Fred- Logan and Oscar's best friend after each other.
"So. He also hangs out with me" Fred replies. Oscar looks up and meets the younger's eyes, "He does?" Fred shrugs as he nods and replies, "Yeah. Just we don't yell it around." Oscar remembers Logan mentioning Fred here and there- but Liam has consumed too much of Oscar's mind that it vanishes. "But you are our best friend. And I don't like Liam, Fred." Oscar says with desperation in his voice. Teeth biting the lower lip. Oscar knows. Fred understands the implications of the sentence. Fred has to. Or else Oscar is going to think he has lost his mind. He is going insane.
"Just take it easy, Oscar. Okay? Tell Logan how you feel. He prioritizes you more than Himself." And Fuck. Oscar knows that. Oscar knows that's why he does not say anything. He does not say anything because Logan has been seeking escapism by hanging out with his friends. Oscar won't. Oscar can't. He can't ruin this.
Mick shouts for Fred waving in his familiar Mercedes-branded T-shirt and Fred curses under his breath. He turns to Oscar after showing a thumbs up to Mick, "I have to go, Oscar. Tell Logan how you feel. He will abandon anything." Fred suggests as he clasps Oscar's back and leaves.
_
Oscar keeps wandering around the paddock and wonders if Logan really would abandon anything- for Oscar. Would he abandon the pretty Liam Lawson for Oscar? Would he abandon him for Oscar who barely has time for him?
In a corner beside the Red Bull hospitality. Oscar notices a man wearing a white Nirvana T-shirt and talking with a shorter blond wearing Red Bull merch. Even though they are like 10 meters away- Oscar knows who he is and where he resides in his heart.
Oscar's breath slows down as he notices the people hurrying around him. Except for the two who his eyes are buried into. Someone says, "The national anthem starts in like 20 minutes. What is Piastri doing here?" Oscar wishes he could turn around and answer the man the answer is that neither does he know why he is here and is boring holes behind somebody's head. He wishes he could answer why his whole world is burning including him. He wishes he could answer why he wants to kiss Logan right now in front of all of them as an answer.
Oscar strides over to where the ex-teammates are. Logan feels him- Logan must or else why would he look up and meet Oscar's eyes? And the smile that breaks over his face makes Oscar feel all warm inside. Liam turns around and Oscar sees everything from the corner of his eyes. Logan starts to walk and meet halfway. Still closer to Liam than Oscar would like.
Logan opens his arms- engulfing Oscar in a hug he tightens his grip. Oscar rests his cheek against Logan's shoulder as the rest of the world fades. Oscar stays like this, also does Logan but then... Then he pulls away and smiles at him- not kissing and it makes Oscar want to tackle the man into the ground and kiss him.
Oscar doesn't though. He listens as Logan points behind his head where Liam is and says, "Look, Osc. I got Liam. He invited me to the Red Bull garage."
Oscar's eyes narrow as his nose flares and he does not glance to where Liam is.
Oscar keeps his voice cool, "No." Logan's face morphs into a confused state as he replies, "No?" Oscar nods as he states, "You'll be at the McLaren garage. You're my guest."
Logan's eyebrows knit together lips parted away, eyes scrunched. "But No one knows me there." He pauses as Oscar scoffs, "And people know you at Red Bull?" Logan's face contorts more into confusion as he says, "No- fuck. That's not what I meant. "
"Then what did you mean, Logan? Enlighten me." Oscar's hands are useless as it rests sideways, he wants to fucking cry.
"Fuck- Oscar. What happened to you?" Logan asks as he tries to pull Oscar towards him. Oscar steps back as he replies, "What happened to me?" Logan nods and Oscar's eyes get smaller and his teeth are almost breaking.
"Why are you acting like this?" Logan says and Oscar does not know what the words carries because he yells, "Because you are my boyfriend, Logan. Not Liam's. You have to be at my team's garage. Not his. You don't need to be with him more than I need you." his voice cracks at the end as it alleviates into a whisper. Logan lunges, holding his palm over Oscar's mouth as the first tear of Oscar leaves his eyes. Then second, Oscar loses count.
Oscar shoves Logan away and Oscar realizes what he has done. Even though there aren't a lot of people around them. There is some. There is Liam. Fucking Liam, Liam, and Liam. Liam has his mouth open and eyes wide. Oscar's face leans into the expression of horror as he bites his lips.
Logan steps closer and he takes Oscar's face between his palms. Thumbs caressing the nape of his hair. Oscar's gaze stays down as shame and regret fill his veins and make him want to throw up. Logan leans closer as he lifts Oscar's face, forcedly.
When Oscar's gaze lands on his- Logan wipes the tears away and leans closer to kiss the brunette on the cheeks. Softly. People are slowly walking away and Oscar feels like they are too busy to notice anything. Logan mutters, "Oscar. Talk to me. What happened?" Oscar shakes his head.
Not answering the blond makes Oscar feel more regretful and now he wants to do anything and take those words back. Fuck, he wants to go back and control his eruption.
"Oscar." Logan's voice hardens as Oscar looks anywhere but at the blond's eyes. His gaze falls once again, Logan's pristine black Adidas is tied perfectly and pretty.
Oscar mumbles, voice small and only meant for Logan to hear, "I don't like Liam, Logan." His eyes are still on the blond's shoes. The American's voice is also small, as if he also understands Oscar's fear at this moment, "Why?" And how could Oscar suppose to answer that? How could he voice out all of his fears pacing in his mind?
Oscar mutters though, because if the outburst happened then he should also now tell Logan everything, "He- He makes me feel like I am not good enough for you." And Logan does not any longer let Oscar keep his eyes on the shoes, he lifts his face with two fingers on his jaw, "Oscar. Look at me." Oscar does, letting his eyes finally look into those blue-green eyes.
"You are the love of my life. If I had to ever leave you I would've, But I won't. You have been my breath for so long that I don't remember a time I haven't loved you. It does not matter if Ryan Gosling comes up or Scarlett Johanson, you're still the love of my life." Logan pauses and Oscar's tears make a return as he feels snot running down his nose. Oscar nods as he shakes and Logan pulls him closer and wraps his arms around the younger. Closer.
"Oscar. You need to talk to me, baby. I am sorry. I am so sorry I never knew anything about any of this. I can't think about leaving you when you are entangled so close with my soul." Logan mutters, lips brushing over Oscar's ear.
Oscar nods and he pulls off, "I am sorry I ruined your favourite band's T-shirt." Logan tsks as he leans down and catches the younger's lips in a kiss, at this point even if some videos are trending on Twitter neither of them cares sufficiently.
"It's ok. I'll buy plenty. You're my only one." Logan says and Oscar shuffles on his feet as a deep blush takes over his cheeks and Oscar bites his lips. Softly this time.
Logan says after some time seconds of silence, "Oscar. I love you." Oscar looks up and meets the blond's eyes which are filled with so so affection and love and adoration. Oscar's face lit up with a wide, genuine smile, a smile that he usually reserved specifically for Logan.
"Love you too," Oscar whispers as they break apart and Logan intertwines his fingers with the Australian's.
Logan flicks his gaze over his shoulder for a second and Oscar knows even though the world is moving forward Liam is right where he was standing.
Logan informs, "I`ll be at the McLaren garage, Liam." Logan says as Oscar's face breaks into a grin and he pulls Oscar with him towards the brunette's garage.
When they are at the McLaren garage and Oscar is getting ready to get inside his car, his chest is loose because of the relief earlier.
Logan pulls him into a corner, "All you had to do was tell me you are jealous, baby. I would've left the world behind." Their eyes meet between the balaclava and even though Logan does not know, Oscar is laboriously, heavily blushing.
Logan then pulls him closer and places a soft kiss on his nose, "Go. Win this tiger. Love you." He smiles and the skin around his eyes goes wrinkled and if Zak did not call Oscar then he'd take off his balaclava and kiss Logan feverishly.
Oscar nods instead as he echoes in his mind that he'll make Logan believe he is Oscar's lucky charm.