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"I can't stand the sight of blood, fuck!" he yelled at Kitty, already feeling dizzy.
For a little context, Min Yoongi didn't want to be there. Just because he was the famous Agust D, leader of one of the largest gangs in Seoul, didn't mean he was involved in direct gang fights. He was always more of the "brains" behind everything. All the other gang members agreed on him being the leader, even though he didn't participate in the fights, because, damn, he was incredibly smart. If DG was the gang it is today, it was because of his leadership, his foolproof plans, his natural leadership instinct, not to mention the power he naturally exuded.
No one except his close friends knew why he avoided this part of being in a gang so much.
His friends knew about this detail, yet they still made the foolish mistake of calling him every time something went wrong. But it was fine, right? Being the leader, he was the one they should call, right? Because Agust D would know how to think quickly about what to do, which path to take, what supplies to send, which people to dispatch to help them—simple stuff.
The day had started off well, everything that would happen today had been carefully calculated. Yoongi had spent weeks planning today's event. There was no way it could go wrong. Only the best men had been assigned. That's why Agust D was so pissed off when he got the call from Jeon Jungkook asking for reinforcements. Reinforcements they didn't have today, because today was the day to receive weapons from some suppliers at the border between the two Koreas.
Agust D found himself forced to go help them. Just because he avoided going to fights at all costs didn't mean he wasn't good with a weapon or in hand-to-hand combat. People underestimated him when they thought that about him. But knowing how to use a weapon wasn't the same as being able to use it. He could do it, sure, but what about afterward? Everyone talks about the guilt you feel after killing someone for the first time, but that was never Agust’s problem.
With the adrenaline of saving his friends from whatever mess they were in, Yoongi didn't pay attention to anything else but them. He parked the car quickly and haphazardly, with two unlocked pistols in hand, and ran to the abandoned construction building, the place where they should have been, but for some reason, weren't anymore. He checked the first, the second, and when he reached the third floor, the only thing he found there were several bodies and so much, so much blood staining the gray floor.
Blood that smelled of ruin. Blood potent enough to distract the famous Agust D from what he had to do. His friends, he needs… needs… to help them…
He needs to get out of here fast. Before… before…
that disgusting smell makes him dizzy so easily…
"Agust?"
Just what he needed, his second biggest headache besides blood, known as his biggest rival, the leader of the second-largest gang in Seoul, and the owner of Busan.
Kitty gang. Also affectionately called "Agust's boyfriend" by Seokjin, even though they threaten to kill each other every day and aren't actually dating.
Despite the constant death threats, neither of them had any real intention of harming the other, especially after the alliance they made between their gangs three years ago. Each does their own thing without interfering with the other's business, and they remain the two biggest gangs in all of South Korea.
Both knew it would be foolish to kill the other.
Big gangs are harder to get rid of, neither of them wanted to deal with that. Not to mention the losses they would suffer during a battle between the two gangs.
"You okay? You look paler than usual."
"Worried?" Agust looked at him but quickly remembered the blood. He couldn't stand staying here. He turned to leave. Things happened quickly in the next second: he saw a man approaching and pointing a gun at him, a gunshot sound, and luckily, it was Kitty who shot the stranger.
Great. Another body, more blood.
Yoongi felt his phone vibrate, and he quickly took it out, not caring about the rest. Kitty wasn't going to shoot him.
There were new messages from Jungkook, notifying him a bit too late that they were already far away, safe inside one of the gang's bases. Yoongi tried to take a deep breath to avoid killing that brat for making him come all the way here for nothing, but taking a deep breath reminded him of the strong smell of iron that filled the place. A dizziness hit him, and his breathing began to falter.
"You okay?"
Kitty had been their ally for three years and a close friend to his close friends. Yoongi wasn't thinking clearly anymore when he whispered:
"I can't stand the sight of blood."
"What?" Kitty really had some kind of hearing problem after years of living beside the sound of gunshots.
"I can't stand the sight of blood, fuck!" he yelled at Kitty
"What do you mean you can't stand the sight of blood, fuck?!"
Yoongi didn't respond because he was obviously feeling unwell. He ended up looking at the ground, at all that blood, there was so much blood , the smell was so strong, Agust felt a stronger wave of dizziness, as if he were about to faint. He felt his legs buckle, and that's when Jimin realized it was serious. He quickly ran over, grabbing the older man's body before he could hit the ground with a thud. Kitty held him and slowly sat down with him, where there isn't so much blood.
One hand on each side of Yoongi's face.
"Look at me, damn it! Focus on me." If the problem was the blood, the first thing to do was to prevent Yoongi from seeing it, so Jimin kept Yoongi's face close to his, so he wouldn't look away. "What's your problem?!"
"I can't… can't… fuck."
"Breathe slowly," Jimin felt as desperate as he did. Yoongi was clearly struggling to breathe, and Kitty wasn't sure what to do to help until he had an idea. "Okay, do this with me: smell the flower, blow out the candle, smell—"
"A childish thing like that, Kitty?" he smirked as if he weren't feeling unwell.
"Just do it with me, shit," Jimin grabbed one of his hands, holding it as if they were both holding that damn candle and flower together at the same time. "Smell the candle..."
"That's wrong," Yoongi laughed, a sincere smile filling his face. If the candle and flower weren't working in the traditional way, at least Jimin thought he could help distract him. That is, until Yoongi accidentally glanced to the side and remembered why they were like this. "Jimin."
The younger one noticed the change and acted quickly, repeating, "Do it with me—blow out the candle, smell the flower." Jimin made sure Yoongi kept holding the imaginary candle and flower, while his other hand returned to Yoongi's face to keep him from looking away again.
Surprisingly, this helped regulate his breathing. Agust tried to keep focusing on the imaginary candle, but at some point, his eyes met Kitty's, who was looking at him with such concern. He couldn't tell if having Jimin so close was actually a relief, it was the first time they were this close. Yoongi could see every detail of Park's face. Seconds passed, and without him even realizing it, his breathing returned completely to normal. There was no dizziness or nausea, but why… was his heart still racing?
"Jimin..."
"I'm going to get you out of here, hyung. I need you to keep focusing on me or close your eyes."
Close his eyes? In front of a rival? Anyone who saw him would call him an idiot.
Yoongi kept focusing on Jimin as Jimin helped him stand up and guided him out of there. When they were far from that blood, Yoongi realized they should go back to the way they normally were with each other. They had their alliance, but that didn't mean they were friendly with each other. Quite the opposite—they were always fighting, always threatening each other… Deep down, Agust didn't want to move away, but staying so close to Kitty wasn't good for him. With some reluctance, Agust distanced himself, gave a slight bow of thanks, and ran off.
He still needed to kill Jeon Jungkook.
❦
"Do you know why Agust D doesn't go into combat?"
Obviously, after what happened, that scene wouldn't leave Kitty's mind. It made no sense to him how the boss of one of the largest gangs in Seoul simply had a panic attack at the sight of blood. But every time he thought about it, he could almost feel it himself— the shortness of breath, the dizziness. It was true when Kitty said the other looked paler than usual, definitely not okay. Besides, Agust had no reason to fake it. It could only be real.
And the fact that it was real was what bothered Jimin the most.
What was Agust D doing in that place? He intended to help his friends, as Kitty had heard from them, but how was he going to help them? The moment he saw blood, he…
"I know."
"And yet you still called him? Why?"
"You seem too concerned for someone who said they hated him," Taehyung smiled, clearly more interested in the conversation now.
"I don't hate him, I just… that's not the point."
The younger one rolled his eyes, tired of Jimin being like this. He was so close to admitting what he felt…
"We didn't have anyone else to call. We called you two, whoever got there first would be our salvation. Hyung has this problem, but he can manage it up to a certain point. He shoots and looks away before he sees the blood, haven't you noticed? Anyway, Hobi nearly killed himself to get us out of there, and we ended up taking a few minutes to let him know we were okay."
"You should have told him sooner. Or not called him at all. Do you have any idea how he was when he saw the blood? What if he had been alone there? I don't think he would have managed to get out."
"Why do you think that?"
"He almost fainted. And worse! A guy showed up ready to shoot us. In the state he was in, he wouldn't have been able to hit the guy for shit."
They both knew how well Agust D could shoot. Even though he didn't go into many real fights, they'd seen the older man shoot a few times. He never missed. It was only with this information that Taehyung began to understand the mess that could have happened.
"I don't want you guys calling him anymore, got it?"
"Yes, Kitty."
"Because who's the leader of KTG?"
"You. But his gang members were there, it was Jungkookie who called him and Hobi's idea."
"I guess I'll have to threaten some DG members then."
With a terrifying smile, Jimin left the room. Taehyung got up to follow, but he didn't think it would do any good. Anyway, Kitty wouldn't hurt them, they were his friends too. Calling them friends would even be an understatement for what they were to each other.
❦
Kitty was carefully sharpening his claws— translated to filing his precious nails painted with black and pink designs. Sitting in the chair in his office at KTG's main headquarters. When the door opened with no delicacy whatsoever.
"Did you threaten my family, Kitty?"
"They're technically my family too, ever since Tae married Hobi, and now we're all connected in some way."
"Why did you do it?" Kitty didn't respond, which only made Agust more irritated. The older man closed the door behind him and approached the desk. "You know what I don't understand? They told me you threatened to cut their balls off if they called me when they needed help. You know I'm the leader of the gang, right? If they don't call me at times like that, they have no one else to call."
"They can still call you for help, I just don't want them calling you to go to them."
"Oh, and there's that too? Good to know I can't be a gangster anymore because an asshole like you says I can't. For God's sake, Kitty! What if it were you? Would you let your own die? Without doing anything?"
"Of course not! But it's different. I don't—"
"Don't have a panic attack at the sight of blood?! Look, I know I have this problem. You don't need to rub it in my face now that you're better than me because of it. Maybe you are, whatever. Just don't interfere with my gang again, Kitty. We might have a few flings between our gangs and our alliance, but that doesn't mean you can order them around."
And with that, Agust left as quickly as he had come. Leaving Jimin fuming, how could he come here and say those things? When all Jimin wanted was to protect him… to make sure he didn't get sick alone somewhere where Kitty wasn't around to help.
❦
As if having a panic attack at the sight of blood made him less of a gang leader than Kitty. Agust huffed at the thought.
He spent the entire week locked in his office, trying to organize things. It was no surprise to anyone—he always stayed there. Sometimes he even slept on the couch to avoid wasting time going home when a particular deal needed more attention.
His right-hand man, Kim Seokjin, was totally against this and made sure to make it clear every time he passed by Yoongi's office.
"You've been here for three days now. If you don't go home willingly, I'll drag you out by your hair, Yoongi."
"There's a new gang gaining popularity, I can't let that happen. We need to properly organize how to take them down. I asked Jieun to go check—"
"Enough." Seokjin approached him, wrapping his arms around Yoongi's body and trying to pull him out of the chair by force. "You're not going to take them down looking like a homeless person instead of a boss. Jieun and I can handle things, and you need a bath."
"Jin hyung, no. I need to handle this myself."
"Is this because Jimin knows you have a panic attack at the sight of blood?"
"What?! What does that have to do with anything?"
"I know you, Min Yoongi. You're trying to prove you're a good leader again, handling everything alone so they don't think you're weak because of your panic attacks. You were exactly like this when your father died, and you had to take over the gang." Yoongi automatically lowered his head a bit—his best friend was right. "It's okay to feel like this, you know… but you really do need a bath. Let's go home. I'll cook something for you."
"Hyung, you don't need to. I'll go home, but you should stay here. It's better if you stay."
"Do you trust your friends?"
"Of course I do."
"They'll be fine if you and I disappear for a few hours. Relax a bit."
Relax? That was the last thing Yoongi could do, knowing that Kitty had threatened his guys over a panic attack he had. He still didn't understand why Jimin did that.
❦
"You're really worried about him, aren't you? Tae told me you even threatened Jungkook and Hoseok, and you guys are like best friends after us at KTG."
Jimin couldn't say he was surprised that Taehyung had spread the news. He'd always been a big gossip, and it only got worse after the alliance between the gangs. It's not that Jimin really cared about what they said or didn't say about them. Kitty had given up trying to stop them after realizing it was hopeless.
Unlike the younger Kim, Namjoon was better at keeping secrets.
"Maybe I am. But you haven't answered me. Where is Agust? I heard he went out with Jin and hasn't come back. Does he know we need to deal with that gang issue?"
"Jieun said she would bring Agust's notes on the plans to you. He spent days making the plans alone, Jin hyung pulled him out of there before he passed out from exhaustion."
"What?! Give me his address."
"Jimin… what are you planning to do? It's better not to go. Jin is already taking care of him, and you know he'd be pissed if you showed up."
"I know, but…"—I need to know if he's okay. Because I feel a kind of agony that will only go away if I see him well. No. He can't say that to Namjoon. Namjoon was trustworthy, but he definitely couldn't say those things—"Okay, tell someone to call him here when he gets back."
❦
Living in the dark world of gangs from an early age because of his father makes you realize that the most important thing in this life is indeed time. Despite people saying, "we have all the time in the world," we don't. Outside the underworld where Yoongi lives, time is also essential. However, when you're the leader of a gang, time means everything.
It takes seconds for a bullet to hit someone. Often, you don't even see where the bullet came from, dying instantly. If you had moved from where you were a minute before, different things would have happened—the bullet wouldn't have hit, and the world would be different. So many things can happen and change without you even noticing.
Knowing that every second counts is why Min Yoongi doesn't spend more than 24 hours at home. Yes, Seokjin told him to rest, and he did. He ate and slept, then ate and left straight for the KTG headquarters because someone wouldn't stop messaging, saying Kitty would kill them if Agust didn't show up in seven minutes.
He arrives just as the clock strikes exactly seven minutes.
Kitty is gracefully perched on top of his office desk. Besides the high desk, there's a smaller table in the middle, with two long sofas on either side. His most trusted men are seated on these sofas, and the coffee table is covered with papers.
"Right on time," Jimin barely looks at him as he sits next to Hoseok. The truth is, Jimin is holding himself back from looking at him.
It takes just a few hours in that room for them to come up with a perfect plan to take down that new gang. The plan seems complete, so Agust allows himself to relax a bit, leaning back on the sofa and closing his eyes for a moment.
A thought returns to his mind.
"What do you mean you can't stand the sight of blood, damn it?"
His father had said something very similar when he discovered Yoongi's (not so small) problem.
"How can someone born of blood have a panic attack at the sight of blood?"
"You're destined to be my successor, you better get over it soon."
"A leader doesn't panic over something trivial."
Agust looks at Kitty.
Kitty gang has always been a pain in the ass, a bit reckless most of the time. Definitely not someone who would make a good leader with his unstable mood. But he was great as a leader—he was great because he didn't panic every time he saw blood. He didn't panic when he shot without remorse. And, of course, he would definitely wade through a river of blood on foot to save his family.
Agust D wouldn’t. He would sweat , feel his legs weaken until he collapsed, and who knows what would happen to his family.
His father always said that the best way to overcome your fears is by facing them. Actually, most people say that. Agust doesn't agree—after all, it never worked for him. But maybe he should try again. Now that he's grown up, silly fears like this can't continue. Not when his family might need him.
❦
"He's completely lost it!"
Everyone in the room flinched at the way Kitty shouted.
"Who approved something like this?"
"He's the leader of DG. It's not like we can stop him from doing what he wants."
"But you should!" Kitty ran a hand through his hair in frustration, trying to breathe a little. "Where's Seokjin?"
"He's with him."
"What the hell?!"
Kitty didn't give them time to say anything else, running out of the room, straight towards the room where the two of them were, the Gray Room. Also known as the room where they tortured some bastards if they needed to. Knowing that Yoongi was there made Jimin anxious. What do they think they're doing? And worse, Kim Seokjin agreed to this!
He reached the door completely out of breath, barely breathing when he opened it, his eyes quickly scanning the room. There was a man tied up and blindfolded in a chair, with a deep cut on his arm. Kitty found Agust leaning against the wall, curled up on the floor. Seokjin was crouched in front of him.
Seeing Agust D, the infamous boss of the biggest gang in Seoul, panic that day was frightening. But seeing him now, so small… Kitty wanted to take care of him because, God, it hurt so much to see him like this.
When dealing with skittish kittens, it's recommended to go slowly. Kitty didn't think about that when his only instinct was to ensure Yoongi was okay. Jimin ran to them, crouching down like Seokjin beside Yoongi and stealing all of the older man's attention.
"What the hell… are you doing here?!"
"I needed to know—" if you were okay because I care about you, you idiot. It might not seem like it, but I care a lot. "—what the hell is going through your head to come here."
Agust huffed, leaning his head back.
"If you really want to know, Kitty, I'm trying to cure my problem. Jin hyung is helping."
"And is it… working?"
"No. If it were, I wouldn't be like this." Yoongi raised his hand to show how much it was trembling.
Jimin doesn't know what got into him, when he realized it, he was already holding the older man's hand. And of course, Seokjin wasn't going to let that slide. In any other situation, he would have made some comment, but it was so obvious how Jimin's presence helped calm Yoongi down that he didn’t have the heart to ruin the moment.
❦
It's interesting how a simple touch can stir your heart. It's only been a few days since Jimin held his hand, and if Yoongi concentrates enough, he can almost feel the warmth that emanated from the younger man.
The sound of the phone ringing brings him back to reality. Oh right, he still had things to do.
“What is it, Jungkook?”
“Look, I know Kitty threatened our balls, but he's not answering, and we need help. Don't come, just send someone quickly.”
Agust hangs up the call and immediately prepares to send someone, but hesitates.
He needs to cure this blood thing, and what better way to do it? Even though he has the option to lose this panic gradually by dealing with small amounts of blood, Agust has always heard from his father that fears must be cured in the worst way—only then do things happen.
However, for safety, Agust calls someone who will know what to do if he panics. He wouldn't be stupid enough to risk his friends like this.
❦
Jimin is definitely going to kill them all for this.
One of the guys Agust called as backup was one of the intermediaries between the two gangs, and a big gossip. He informed Kitty, because it may or may not be that he was also threatened. Unlike his best friends, Minho doesn't doubt for a second that Kitty would kill him in a painful way.
It's not that Jimin is worried, it's just that his heart is a little faster as he drives without caring about the speed limit.
When he arrives at the place where an intense shootout is taking place, Kitty quickly locates everyone. Jungkook and some guys are behind a car, Minho and others are behind another. There are two more DG cars, from what the pink-haired man can see. And then he sees Yoongi shooting and dodging until someone next to him is hit by a bullet, blood splattering. Seeing blood from a distance isn't a problem, as nearsighted as he is, not paying much attention also helps. But blood... blood right in his face, dripping down the entire arm of the man who keeps shooting despite the wound. It's enough blood to make Agust lose focus.
Kitty doesn't waste any more time and runs to him, pulling him down before he gets hit too.
“Have you lost your mind, damn it?”
“Kitty, not here” he signaled to the guys next to him, still standing and shooting. Park wanted to strangle him, but held back when he saw how much Agust was shaking.
“Here” Kitty held his hands and handed him the car keys. “Get in there and stay down, or go away, just don't destroy my car.”
“Why are you... doing this?”
The younger man didn’t respond, taking Agust's gun and shooting at the others, not caring about the strange looks from Minho and the other guy.
Agust feels paralyzed by the blood panic, but tries to focus on Jimin's words to gather the strength to run as fast as he can to the car.
He can't say how much time passes inside, his mind divided between the blood scene and the younger man's face so close to him. Stuck on a very thin line between the panic of seeing blood and his body trembling every time the images flash in his head. Then his heart speeds up, and there is Jimin, Jimin on the other end of the line pulling him back to the surface when he's about to collapse. Isn't it bizarre how Kitty, who always thought he hated Agust D the most, now helps him in his most vulnerable moments?
Jimin is so…
Three knocks on the window make Yoongi stop overthinking and look, unlocking the car when he sees it's Kitty.
“We killed everyone, and some got away. Minho is going after them with a few other guys” Agust hands the keys to the younger man, sitting properly in the back seat (which he chose because it was better to stay low), and Kitty starts driving. “I couldn't reach Jungkook. He knows I'm going to cut his balls off for calling you, so he ran off.”
“It was me. I came because I wanted to, don't torture him.”
“So you've really lost it. What made you think of coming here with your blood panic? You want to die?!”
“I want to cure this shit, Jimin. A gang leader can't just have a blood panic.”
“You've been leading the DG for seven years. Why now?”
It's Min Yoongi. Why now? Any reason he gives doesn’t seem good enough. Years in the DG, in this world since he was young because of his father, channeling everything he can't be into action for the part of leading and making plans.
‘Why now?’
Not even “being better than Kitty” could be on the list of possible reasons. If that were the case, Agust should have faced his fear five years ago when the younger gang began taking over Seoul.
Although, five years ago, Kitty didn’t know about Agust’s condition, he only found out a few weeks ago. Maybe that’s it? Knowing.
“It doesn’t matter” Agust looks at the streets and notices something “where are you going?!”
“Home. You’re not going back to that place today.”
“What the hell, Kitty? Take me to DG or I’ll kill you.”
“You wouldn’t.”
Because killing Kitty, or Kitty killing Agust, would mean the two gangs would end up fighting each other. They’re not crazy enough to start a war, destroying the whole city. Besides, neither of them really wants to kill the other, even though they have their moments, they would never do something like that.
However, saying you will doesn’t hurt anyone, and that’s why Agust keeps saying it without moving a muscle, until they reach his apartment.
“I’m coming up with you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“ “Or I’ll kill you.” I get it. Forget for a second that you hate me and let me…” take care of you, he wants to take care of the hyung!! “you’re hurt, how are you going to handle this alone if you can’t even look?”
“That’s why I told you to go to DG.”
“Let’s go up.”
Going against Kitty, he knew, was already a lost battle.
Minutes later, they’re in Yoongi’s apartment, sitting on the sofa while Kitty takes care of him. A bullet had grazed his arm, so much blood had flowed that Yoongi knew he couldn’t stand to see it. On the way to the headquarters, he would have asked someone he trusted to help him, probably Seokjin. Agust doesn’t understand why Kitty continues to help him, the pink-haired one always made it clear he hated him.
“Damn it” Yoongi shivers. Seven years in this world, and he will never get used to how much it hurts to be hit, even lightly, by a bullet.
“I’m almost done. I just need to…” apply a bit more of this horrible, burning stuff and… Jimin breathes a sigh of relief as he puts on a bandage “done”
The younger one smiles at how well the bandage turned out, but his smile fades quickly. Yoongi isn’t moving, only the tiny movements of his breathing are barely noticeable. His eyes are tightly shut, and the way he clings to the sofa… Kitty thinks he’s exaggerating but catches the exact moment a single tear falls. Jimin’s brain stops.
“Did it hurt that much?” Jimin moves his hand to wipe the tear away, wondering if this is going too far “was this… was this the first time you’ve…”
“No. I’ve been here for years, there’s no way this is the first time I’ve been hurt, I just… damn.”
Yoongi can’t look at Jimin, he runs his hands over his face as if trying to compose himself. His head is so noisy, and it hurts.
“Thank you for doing this for me. Now, if you could leave, I need to be alone.”
“Is that really what you want?”
No.
Yoongi prefers to be alone most of the time, yes.
But… damn, he never wanted to be alone in moments like this when everything hurts. His arm hurts from the graze, his head hurts from the thoughts about his blood issue, his heart hurts. He just doesn’t know if it’s because his breathing is irregular or if it’s something else he doesn’t even want to think about.
But Kitty and he aren’t friends. Why would he stay?
“I think you could thank me for saving your life with a coffee.”
“Coffee?!”
Yoongi doesn’t understand. He never really understood the younger one, Kitty is hard to read, one of those people called crazy, those who have a single mantra in their heads: “Don’t let anyone know your next move.” That annoys Yoongi more than he can say.
When Yoongi heard the word “coffee,” he imagined Kitty would want him to pay for a coffee sometime, at a café or something like that. Not that Jimin would get up and head to his apartment’s kitchen. The kitchen is actually combined with the living room, separated only by a high counter that Yoongi already used as a table to save space. Yoongi can see everything Jimin does from the sofa. However, as if an invisible line pulled him closer, he soon finds himself sitting on one of the stools.
“I knew you had coffee, but I didn’t know you had so much…” a drip coffee maker, a capsule machine, and a coffee grinder.
In reality, Yoongi only used the capsule machine, it’s more practical and faster. The drip coffee maker was more of a keepsake, and the grinder? Being the leader of the largest gang in Seoul, would he have time to grind his own coffee and make it with the utmost care for a quality coffee at his own home? Of course not. He only used it once because Jin insisted.
And that’s exactly what Jimin chose.
Every movement of Jimin had such lightness and a certain skill. Yoongi isn’t surprised, this is how he usually sees Kitty when the younger man handles his collection of pink-studded daggers.
“Have you made coffee like this before?”
“I have. You’re not the only one Jin convinced to have one of these at home.”
“What? He gave you one of these too? And talked about…”
“I don’t know what he said to you. But he kept complaining to me about how you don’t know how to make coffee.”
“ It’s not that I don’t know how to make coffee, it’s just…”
“No time to waste on that. I thought the same. But you know, this coffee isn’t as hard as it seems, you just need to… make it.”
“Wow, really?” Yoongi can’t control the ironic tone that slips out. If it were just about making, life would be so different, things aren’t always that simple. For a moment, Yoongi thinks about his fear of blood. How he feels like he’s going to faint just from seeing a dark red liquid or smelling that metallic scent. It doesn’t make sense. That’s why he thinks that if he convinces himself to see enough, maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to see without…
A gentle touch on his face interrupts all his loud thoughts, leaving only Jimin’s name there like magic.
“You think too much.”
Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. Yoongi looks at him, and Jimin is so close, too close. If Kitty wanted to kill him now with one of his knives, Yoongi wouldn’t even see it coming. Besides, he doesn’t think he’d look anywhere else right now, Jimin’s eyes are mesmerizing, there’s a strange gleam in them that Yoongi has never seen before. Something tells him to pull away like always when his heart starts to race, but he doesn’t want that. In the end, he doesn’t need to, Jimin doesn’t stay there long, going back to make the coffee. Yoongi takes a deep breath, trying to control his heartbeat, which seems so loud that he wouldn’t be surprised if Jimin heard it.
“I never thought I’d see you in my kitchen making coffee, and we’re not even fighting…”
“Try it and tell me what you think” Jimin places the cup in front of the older man, serving one for himself right after.
“What guarantees that you didn’t poison this coffee?”
It’s not like it would make a difference if he had poisoned it, since a second after the comment, Agust drank it.
“It wouldn’t be fun to kill you with poison.”
Kitty gave a mischievous smile, he didn’t take the poisoning suggestion seriously. It’s just basic gang mentality: never trust anything your so-called enemy, but ally, gives you.
“Besides, I wouldn’t have taken care of you all this time if I wanted to kill you.”
“Sometimes killers like their victims to be in perfect condition for the moment of death. Seokjin is like that when he’s bored. You’ve spent a lot of time with him, I wouldn’t be surprised if…”
“Do you really think I’d waste my time taking care of someone I’m going to kill? Tsk. I’d rather they all go to hell.”
Yoongi nodded, finishing the coffee made by the younger man. If every freshly ground coffee tasted this good, he might have to agree that it’s worth spending some of his glorious time on it. However, not every coffee would have Jimin by his side. It’s not like a gang leader is a romantic. Just… sharing coffee together… you know?! Some say that the taste gets better and all…
Then something repeats in Agust’s mind.
‘Do you really think I’d waste my time taking care… I’d rather they all go to hell… taking care, taking care, taking care…’
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Helping me… fuck, Jimin, you helped me when I panicked. More than once. Why?”
Why?
Does Jimin really need to say why?
Fuck. Jimin feels so much, and it’s never been hate. Not towards Yoongi.
Being Kitty Gang made it seem like his whole personality is about being impulsive, intense, a person who never follows a plan, just goes by instinct. They made him out to be a madman. Maybe he is now.
Sometimes, when you can’t make people fear you for who you are, you need them to fear how unpredictable you are.
Added to the fact that if you’re the leader of a gang, people expect you to only feel hate towards everyone. Of course, no one expects Kitty to have feelings, not when everyone sees him as a killer, a very good killer, by the way.
People believe what they want to believe.
Because sometimes the truth would hurt them more.
Deep down, maybe Yoongi knows the truth. But in the world they live in, they can’t have that. Yoongi knows well, his mother was the first in his family he saw dying, all because his father was an asshole.
Or maybe Yoongi is far from the truth.
“Is it out of pity?”
“What?”!
“It makes sense. We’re the leaders of the gangs that dominate Seoul. When our alliance didn’t exist, it was death everywhere, and then we united. Our friends got closer, but we both stayed the same, fighting over anything. We’re still rivals, but if the alliance breaks, it becomes chaos, so you must feel uncomfortable and then feel pity” Yoongi is speaking without pauses, almost too fast for the younger man to keep up “You saw this as an opportunity to brag, didn’t you? For not having this damn problem. You always criticized me for not going into combat, and now that you know, you help me? It doesn’t make sense, Jimin.”
“Hey! Yoongi-ah, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it, Jimin?!”
“I-”
Park wanted to say. He wanted to say so much. No. He wanted to show. Yoongi wouldn’t believe his words. Kitty is sure of this from years of acquaintance.
So that’s what he does. With all the certainty in the world that he’ll get slapped for it, Jimin can’t hold back anymore, pulling Yoongi by the neck and pressing his lips against his.
It’s strange, the shock leaves Yoongi paralyzed until he realizes that all the conflicting thoughts in his head disappear with the touch, and when Jimin is about to pull away because Yoongi isn’t moving, Yoongi grabs him by the waist and kisses him back. Yoongi is still sitting on the high stool, Jimin is positioned between his legs, pulling on the hair at the back of his neck. As suddenly as it began, Yoongi pulls away.
“Why did you do that?”
“Why did you respond?!” it’s half a question, almost as if it were the answer to Yoongi’s question, but it came out so uncertain that it sounded like a question “I like you, okay? You wouldn’t believe my words if I just told you.”
“I don’t even believe you kissing me. You did that to secure our alliance years ago.”
“I did it because I found you hot, the fact that you accepted the alliance because of that is another thing.”
“What?!”
Jimin smiled. Going back to kissing the older man. He doesn’t want to have to talk now. It’s good that Yoongi shares the thought or just gets lost in his own while pulling Jimin closer and returning the kiss.