Chapter Text
Airplane was tired. This was (and still is) a fact. How long has it been since he first got here? Five years? Ten? And yet time ticks by agonizingly slow. Days pass, weeks go by and all he does is sit at his desk and work day and night, be it for his peak or for his king. Continuously faking (being from another world and writing this one and ohmygodeveryoneisgoing todieanditishisfault- being a spy) and pretending he isn’t another broken mannequin away from burning everything to the ground. And he can’t even delegate! Don’t get him wrong, his disciples are an absolute godsend, quick and efficient (just as he taught them to be) but they already had enough on their plates as it is and he didn’t want to overwhelm his darling children. Not to mention that he’s already optimised everything he could in this shitty sect, automatising most if not all of the processes, having every single problem his (how is it possible to be that hot while being an ice demon??) King would have already written out and solved in advance. Still, the paperwork was just too much. Damn it! He should have listened to Peerless Cucumber when he wrote all those paragraphs calling him out on his lazy writing. He was defenetly being punished for pushing every single logistics-related problem onto An Ding so he wouldn’t have to worry about it later when he was writing horrible smut. That for the record, he didn’t even like! Yeah sure, go on, tear the robes he painfully procured to shreds, he can 100% get more, no problem! Of course you can destroy the same fucking pavillon like tree times in a week, he totally didn’t have to drop everything to re-build it. It was getting boring not having anything to do!
Not to mention, why was he even reincarnated in this good for nothing cannon fodder?! He is still the author-god and this is still his creation! If Airplane had a role in this world it was one more akin to a DEITY! Not some random NPC fated to die in twenty-something years! Why was he slaving away under the strict command of some dumb AI bastard that clearly wanted to see him being miserable by making him act out the story of Shang Qinghua with no deviations including his death. This was not a second chance at life, this was psychological torture! He demanded a refund! With interests to make up for all of his brand new trauma!
[ Is UV001 dissatisfied with this system ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡? ]
“HOLY FRICK! Where did you come from? Are you planning to give me a heart attack?!” Airplane responded, clutching his chest where his heart threatened to burst out of his chest.
[ This system is concerned that UV001 is not pleased with his second chance at life experience (◞‸◟；)]
“The question here would be why would I be satisfied at all! I am working myself to the bone for people that most likely won’t appreciate it. While at the same time knowing exactly when, where and how I’ll die without being able to change it at all!”
[ What would make UV001 satisfied with this system’s performance ｢( • ﾍ •)? ]
“Leaving me alone.” Airplane huffed, of course the system wouldn’t get it.
[ This system cannot leave UV001 since he would deviate from the plot. ]
“Then at least let me work in peace.” Airplane mumbled.
[...]
The system vanished, leaving him alone with his thoughts again… And with his paperwork of course. He spent working up until midnight, he would have finished earlier if it weren’t for Liu Motherfucking Qingge, who decided that yeeting kids in their BRAND NEW uniforms down a cliff was an excellent training method. He was legit about to start crying, he was sure that the Bai Zhan peak lord was keeping that seamstress afloat all by himself, hell, she might even become rich and retire at this pace! And then he would have to find a new seamstress and the process would repeat all over again. And that was only counting the uniforms! With the amount of furniture, infrastructures and many other goods that Liu Qingge and his peak had destroyed just by being empty-headed brutes, uncaring of their surroundings, he could potentially build a thirteenth peak! If only Airplane could access his webnovelz account, he would change so many things! Like coffee! God how he missed co-
[ Is that UV001's desire? ]
“AAAAHH! YOU SCARED THE EVER LOVING CRAP OUT OF ME YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING AI!! What’s with you and trying to give me an aneurysm?!”
[ UV001 should not be so rude to this system! This system was even considering giving UV001 a gift in order to boost his morale! ( •̀⤙•́ ) ]
“Then make it snappy! I want to rest as much as possible tonight, I might even get 5 hours of sleep”
[ UV001 had already mentioned wanting to be able to edit his book as he pleased and this system is amenable to that but UV001 can choose another wish if he desires it. ( • ̀ω•́ )✧ ]
“What do you mean? Doesn’t that go against the whole "maintaining the plot” thing? Me being able to manipulate the very essence is king of a big deal…”
[ UV001 is mistaken. This request is in fact easy to grant because of UV001’s status as the creator of this world. All this system would have to do is remove the limiter on UV001’s abilities (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ]
What.
WHAT.
W H A T .
What do you mean that he should have had that ability all this time?!!! This is outrageous! He went through ALL of that when he should have been able to solve everything with a swish of his hand?! THIS WAS UNFORGIVABLE!
Airplane took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. After clearing his head he made a decision, he might not have been able to go deity mode before but he sure as hell is taking the opportunity to be able to do so from now on!
“Then this humble author accepts his wish.” A grin on his face.
[ Then this system will grant user UV001 his wish (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ]
Airplane waited for something to change, something to shift inside of him as if to signal that he was an all-powerful deity now. Strangely, nothing happened, no flashing lights or special effects, just the weird feeling that he was whole at least. Nonetheless, no flashy powers or abilities so the system had most likely fooled him and he had fallen once again for its tricks, he shouldn’t have been that naive and believed that the system would actually do something good for him and grant him the abilities that should have been his from the start-
“Dear god! Deity! Anyone! If someone is out there please give me enough strength to finish these budget reports before the deadline! I beg you!”
All his thoughts came to a screeching halt. What had that been? Was that a prayer?! Like an actual prayer??! Like an actual god?! Could he answer? No, HOW was he supposed to answer?! There was no instruction manual!
The newly formed deity sighed and followed (what he assumed) was his instinct. He extended both hands and a keyboard & mouse combo materialised under them, along with a slightly transparent screen. The voice praying to him was a familiar one, Lei Hui, his head disciple. Charming girl, extremely wicked when provoked though. He felt sorry for her, she must be thoroughly exhausted to be this desperate… The white document stared at him and, determined to help his poor disciple out, he started typing:
[ Lei Hui’s budget reports are finished. ]
Each word took an immense amount of qi out of him so he had to refrain from writing “and well written”. He would have to keep it as brief as possible in order not to drain himself, however, he had to write something that just couldn’t wait, qi exhaustion be damned.
Five words were written:
[ The system does not exist. ]
Out of nowhere, the system started beeping and flashing red while glitching and breaking, ones and zeros seeping from the cracks, the same message printed on the screen despite it disappearing and glitching severely.
W̸̢̧̢̬̟̬̰̥̣̟͉̐̅̎̀̌̽̉͌̓̀̕H̸̡̢̨̠̻̲̠̬̣͖̤̊̃́̆̎̈́̿͌̈́̉͐̽͋͗̄̓͛͘̚͜͝A̶̧̟̠͌̎͛͒͒́͒͌͊́̈͋͐͌̈́̒́̌̓̈́̎͘ͅŢ̸̢̯̺̰̪̞̦͈̱̩̩̖̯͈͚͓̫͓̲̯̰̫̪͚͕̱̹̓̏̐̀̊̽̾̅̊͆̍̊̍̂͛͌̎̕͜ ̸̛̘̊̄̅̀̄͗͛͛͗̑͂̀̎͂̓̈́̐̋͒̌͠Ḩ̴̯̜̖̥̟̙͍̺̬͇̟̮̼̮̤̖͍́́͊̒͜͝À̷͉͉̀̓̍̃͛́̀̈̌̈̃̋͌̀̓̅͝V̸̡̢̢̛͕̫͇͎̼̬̙̠̞̞̠̳͕̗̗̣͔͙͓̱͕̰̱̝̮͙͒ͅE̵̛̛̞͒̓̂̈́͊͑̑͛̐̀̂̀̈̆̑͂̽̀͑͑̚͠͠ ̶̧̧̧̜͎̜̦̰̹̮͍̪͕̬̳̬̬̦̮̜̳͈̠̗͓̻̭͖̭̀̍́̏͒́̇́ͅY̵̡͇̠͎̫͓̫͙̖̹̞̩͙͍͖͉̖̥̰͍̪͑͜Ö̸̡̱̮̮̬̤̯͖̪̱́͐̀͂͂́̐́̒̈͆̔͘͜͠Ư̴̞̩̭̰̟̦̩̘̺̺͍̙̺̰͓̼̫̰͙͔͎̙͍̒̄͒͗̐̉͌̔͗͒̆̋͐̉̕͠ ̸̢̢̨̼̝͇͕̥̭̈̎͛̀̔̂͆͐̀̇̓̈͛͗̍͊̚̚͝͝Ḑ̷̪̦͔̮͙̭͈̳͉̱̪̯̣̺̣̠̺̩͙̬̀͑̊͂̈̊̍̈̀́̔̓͒͆̃̒̀̐̐͆̐͝O̵̩͈͓̱̯̝̭̭̯͔̯͓̤̻̫͓͖̼̭̔̀̓̔̒͑̽̍͜͜N̷̛̮̱͈̤͔̹̭̮̩̮̺̯̹̯̤̣̺͐͗̇͊͒̓̏́̑̍͆̆̀̆͒̀̈̄̚͘͘͜͝ͅĘ̵̲̻͐
“Holy shit, that worked!” Was his last coherent thought before it all faded to black.
Hours later, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky woke up grinning from ear to ear like he had just won the lottery in one of the Qian Cao cots. It’s safe to say Mu Qingfang was not amused and lectured his unruly patient about the dangers of qi exhaustion for no less than three hours, but Airplane could not bring himself to care. A few horrible tasting teas later (should he switch the taste later? It could be an interesting way to experiment with his powers!) he was discharged, system-less and all-powerful, free to do whatever he wanted to do to this universe.
The week after that was spent experimenting, first he made his paperwork fill itself instantly. As he could both summon or create entirely new qi-replenishing items, he needn’t get anything from anyone in order to test the limits of his powers. Apparently his abilities worked much like writing a book since he could influence the people around him and even put them in tough situations. However, the world drew the line at outright controlling people’s behavior if it were OOC for them to carry out his command (he discovered this while trying to make Liu Qingge stop bashing in doors and only succeeded in making him knock first). He also couldn't write anything that contradicted the pre-existing world building (like erasing a peak or changing the era) only build on top of it. Well, it was either that or it took too much qi, since the more implausible something was, the more qi it siphoned out of him (along with the number of words, of course). As for anything else?
It was fair game.
One of the downsides of being a deity was that he had worshippers and thus, prayers to answer. Apparently his head disciple was so grateful to the god that helped her that she has spread the word around An Ding that there was a god willing to help out with reports and the such so he was getting an INSANE amount of prayers. This meant that he essentially traded one job for another. He didn’t mind this one though, all of his devotees were his darling ducklings who never asked for much (a shipment arriving earlier here, some reports magically filling themselves there…). AND! Thanks to those prayers he was getting stronger and his qi reserves were expanding, not to mention that he was slowly getting the hang of using the least amount of words to get the desired effect. So a win-win situation! He also got offerings from his disciples most of the time, sometimes it was fruits and candy, maybe some shiny pebbles, cute ribbons and bracelets (which he wore under his sleeves to avoid them being noticed by his disciples), drawings he definitely didn’t tear up at and a very alive, very loud goat in one memorable occasion. He kept all of them inside one of his closets (except for the goat, which was released in Bai Zhan and was surely still terrorising the disciples over there) wishing he had a fridge or something to proudly display all of the drawings and gifts.
Now, the next day he had a peak lord meeting, normally, he would be terrified and shitting his pants. But after everything that had happened? He was kind of looking forward to the chaos that would surely unfold in his presence, he would not let himself be trampled again, not this time.