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Dr. Casper Darling found Tom Zane profoundly interesting. From a scientific standpoint, the man was a mystery, if he indeed was a man at all. Zane seemed to possess skills beyond the normal human capabilities. Was he a parautilitarian, being granted powers by the Shadow? Or something born in this dimension, a manifestation of the Shadow itself? In any case, while Casper himself had been dreadfully lost in the darkness, Zane had no such problems navigating. After their introduction and agreement to work together, Zane had calmly led him to a door—one which certainly had not been there before—and opened it to reveal a hotel room.
How Zane did this, Casper couldn’t tell, but he was endlessly thankful. It had been almost two years lost in the darkness alone, waiting for anything at all. Sure, he had made some progress in his investigation, but not as much as he would have liked. And now this mystery of a man wanted to collaborate! Finding out how this dimension worked was of course a priority, but Casper had also added Tom Zane to the list of things that warranted investigation.
For this reason, Casper had suggested that they should get to know each other before their work began in earnest. After all, people who knew and trusted each other worked better together.
“Knowing your colleagues leads to improved teamwork, you know, so our collaboration—or the product of our collaboration—will no doubt be much improved if we take a little time to get acquainted,” he promised Zane.
Of course, while Casper truly did believe this, he was also fishing for any and all information Zane was willing to share about himself.
Zane laughed at him and clapped him on the shoulder. “Of course you are correct, Darling. We come from different worlds, you and I, art and science. There should be some sort of an introduction before we can start combining our crafts in any meaningful way.”
“I’m happy you agree…uh. Should I call you Zane?”
“No need to be so formal! Call me Tom.”
“But you keep calling me Darling.”
“So I do,” Zane said with a grin. And what a nice grin it was, really, making Casper feel a little hot under the collar. Regardless, he thought it best to be professional and carry on. This was not the time or place to get side-tracked, on the cusp of revelation.
“Well then, Tom. What do you suggest? I have so many questions, really! I don’t know what to ask first!”
“Ah, ah, have a little patience! Just bursting with curiosity, aren’t you, Darling? Truly a sign of a beautiful mind, how much you have going on in your noggin at any given moment! So many questions, so many ideas! And don’t get me wrong, I want them all. But first, it’s best if we sit down for a bit.”
Zane put a hand on his chest and pushed him backwards. Casper could not think to do anything other than to go where he was being pushed. Regardless of what Zane had said about his mind, it felt remarkably blank just then. Eventually he felt something behind him. A couch? No, a bed. With a final push from Zane, he sat down obediently.
In front of him was a television, which most definitely had not been there before. It looked old, like the ones the FBC used at The Oldest House. Casper opened his mouth to ask a question about the sudden appearance of the machine and how that kind of thing worked, but promptly closed it when Zane sat down next to him and patted Casper's leg.
“You see, the best way to know an artist is through their art! We may talk and talk, talk ‘till you forget time even exists, but to understand an artist, that will not do! An artist puts a piece of his soul in his creations. Science only tells about the facts, or what the scientist believes to be the facts, but very little about the scientist. Is it not so?”
“Ah well, it’s not always that black and white. But yes, mostly science is supposed to be objective. At least I wish for my studies to lead me towards facts, to truth.”
Zane threw his head back and laughed merrily, which Casper thought was mildly insulting.
“Truth! What a concept! But worry not, doctor, for you surely will find the truth of me in all my films.”
There was something Casper remembered from the Bureau, a recorded conversation between Jesse Faden and her psychiatrist. She had recited a poem, something hauntingly beautiful by Thomas Zane. But the psychiatrist had thought Jesse made it up herself.
“Are you not a poet, Tom?”
“Not at all, but I don’t blame you for thinking so! Sometimes my performances can feel very real. In truth, I am a filmmaker.”
“Really? We are watching a movie then?”
“Yes! My first film, in fact, made before I relocated to the States in the seventies. There’s so much I could show you, but this one is special to me. You need to see where I began, to understand where I am now.”
“Beginning is a logical point to start from, yes. What kind of a film is it?”
“Don’t fish for spoilers, my friend! You’ll see. It’s called Yötön yö,” Zane explained. Casper raised his eyebrows. What language was that? Not one he knew, certainly. Zane did have an accent, but he couldn't quite place it.
“Ah, didn’t quite catch that…?”
“Don’t worry, Darling, it has subtitles. You strike me as a man who is not afraid of subtitles. Quiet down now, the film is starting!”
Zane motioned to the television, which came to life with no remote needed. First a poem, in the language Casper didn’t know, but as promised there were subtitles in English. Nightless night by Thomas Seine. Was that his real name? How and why was Tom playing Alan Wake, who had gone missing during the Bright Falls AWE? Then the film began, and he had to dedicate all his concentration to taking it all in.
He had never seen anything quite like it before. It was confusing. A cult. A ritual. He could swear that was the FBC janitor, but how? He looked to the side to see Zane looking at him, rather than the television. Zane put his hand on Caspers chin and turned his face back to the television. Casper did not resist. Never before had he felt so much like time and place were disappearing. He couldn’t look away again, though he was very aware of Zane’s presence next to him. Or did the feeling of Zane’s presence come from the film? He couldn’t be sure.
He also finally gathered that the film was set in Finland, the foreign language Finnish. He did not know much about the country, but he had heard they were crazy about their saunas over there.
As the final notes of the ending song stopped and the television went black, Casper felt like he had forgotten to breathe. He blinked several times in a quick succession and tried to get his breathing to normal. Zane was so close Casper could feel air on his cheek as the other man laughed quietly.
“Ah, how I love to elicit an emotional response in my audience,” Zane whispered in his ear with a pleased tone. “A true reward, for an artist.”
“I feel a little speechless, to tell the truth.”
“Really? Hard to believe you have no thoughts on it.” Zane put his finger on Caspers temple.
Casper thought that maybe he should be more bothered about how familiar the other man had been acting right from the start. But truthfully, he could not find it in himself to care. Who knows, maybe Zane did know things about him—maybe Zane had been watching him during his six hundred and sixty-five days in this dark dimension.
“Or do you have too many thoughts? Let’s take them one at a time, Darling,” Zane encouraged when Casper did not say anything immediately.
Casper tried to concentrate and find a starting point, a clear idea to focus on. He could not begin to discuss the artistic merits of the film. He appreciated art as much as anybody, but certainly had no qualification to examine it from a professional point of view. From that standpoint, he was sure many things about the film were way over his head.
However, there were aspects of the story, the setting and the characters that were familiar to him. He remembered long days and nights researching the Shadow at the Bureau. Reading about the AWE at the Cauldron Lake threshold, about what happened to Alan Wake. The events of 2010 referenced in Zane’s film, which was seemingly set further in the past, maybe in the sixties. But as far as he knew, Alan Wake had never been found. There had been no ritual to bring the writer back.
“There were things in your film that felt impossibly familiar. The janitor, I know him. The writer, the FBC has files on his disappearance. He looks like you, Tom.” Casper turned to look at Zane, who was clearly somewhat enjoying his confusion. Casper had questions but didn’t quite know how to articulate them yet. Still, perhaps foolishly, he carried on. “Is the film real?”
Zane got up impossibly fast, as if he could not contain his energy, and laughed, throwing his head back. “Real! Of course it’s real. Real as anything!”
“But Alan Wake went missing in 2010. You said you filmed this before you left Finland in the seventies. These facts are in contradiction.”
“First you need to wrap your pretty head around the idea that, despite what most people believe, time is not just a straight line ahead. We have nowhere to go but forward, that’s true, but oh how we loop while we go!”
What a truly baffling statement, but Casper could not pronounce it to be an impossibility. It warranted investigation. Perhaps this was a starting point to finally getting some conclusive evidence about the workings of this dimension.
“That’s very interesting, Tom. Exciting! I wish I had proper equipment, to try to measure…ah, I wonder. We would need something to measure time that is not a clock. A clock would be pointless in this.”
“Pointless! But don’t worry, I’ll make sure it’s taken care of. You’re a guest in my House, and what you need, you shall have. And what you want, you shall have, as well.”
“Oh. You’re being very generous. I couldn’t ask for too much.”
Truthfully, Casper had never had a problem asking for anything while he was working at the FBC. Zachariah had often grumbled about his demands but had given in all the same. It had set the tongues in the break rooms wagging—not that they weren’t always wagging—saying that the Director favored Casper and would deny him nothing. There was some truth to that, not that Casper would ever admit it to his colleagues. What he and Zachariah had had was a non-serious and completely consensual workplace relationship, and also not anybody else’s business. If it gave him some benefits over others, then that was fine.
Zane was another matter, as Casper didn’t know the man too well yet. Best to play coy until the limits of what he can ask are clear. And when they were, he would ask.
“No need for you to ask if I’ll just know. The point of this was to get to know each other, was it not, so I’ll learn,” Zane promised with a smile. “Now, did you have more questions for me?”
All this about time and loops had Casper nearly bursting with curiosity and excitement, but he also wanted to know more about Zane himself. “I’ve seen pictures of Alan Wake. You truly do look remarkably like him. Like you’d be his twin.”
“That’s not a question at all, my friend! A scientist should know the difference between a statement and a question,” Zane teased. “Also, the difference between me and Alan Wake is bigger than an ocean, even if we do share the face. Don’t get it in your head that we are the same.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You thought it was a possibility.”
“Well, in a place such as this, I do not know what is a possibility! Anything could be possible.”
“Not true. The Dark Place is operates by its own rules. You just don’t know them yet. We’ll get you the equipment you need to make sense of it,” Zane promised, smiling brightly. “After all, your mind still thinks it’s human. It will take some time to learn that you don’t need such crutches anymore, take it from me!”
Casper had no idea what Tom meant. Sure, some humans who came into contact with the Shadow became Shaded. But he did not exhibit any symptoms of that. No darkness clinging to his body, no aggression.
“You’re mistaken, Tom.” Casper gave a nervous laugh. Something tingled at the back of his mind, a feeling like a forgotten realization. “I’m very much human. There were many medical checks at the Bureau. Human as can be.”
“In the past. And if somebody did those tests to you now, they wouldn’t show anything different. You’re holding to what you know too tightly.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your exit from your Bureau was not so simple, was it? You knew you’d change. And now you have. But it may be best if I don’t say anymore now. It’s best to let time reveal all, and you’re the type of person who likes to come to his own conclusions anyway.”
Casper was feeling dizzy. Yes, Hedron had been changing him. He had been sure of it before, that it would come to some sort of conclusion after he locked himself into Hedron’s chamber. But now, he couldn’t remember if there had been any change. It was concerning, not knowing what was happening to him. Casper put his face into his hands and tried to breathe. Zane patted his head.
“Lighten up, Darling! You are here and you are safe. Whatever else happened to you, it brought you to me.”
“Yeah. I’m glad I’m here with you, Tom.” And he really was. He hadn’t seen another person in well over a year, if his counting was at all accurate. And Zane, weird as he was, had been nothing more than friendly. “I just feel a bit tired. I feel like I have done nothing for years other than trying to find my way…I don’t even know where. Somewhere.”
“It’s because you haven't. And now you are somewhere, safe in my House. Sitting on my bed. Why not take a little nap?”
“But there is so much to discuss, I still don’t know what—”
“We have time, Darling. Lay down, you’ll think better after.” Zane pushed his chest gently to encourage him to scoot further on the bed. Casper could not argue anymore, feeling tiredness take over his entire body. A moment of rest, after what felt like years. Yes, it would do him good. If only Zane wouldn’t disappear while he slept.
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
“I will lay right here next to you,” Zane promised. Casper felt the other side of the bed dip but was too tired to open his eyes to look. He felt his glasses taken gently off. And then a hand petting his hair. “Sleep, my Darling, as long as you need. Sleep for days or years, I’ll still be here.”
And Casper felt like he might. The last he heard before unconsciousness claimed him, was Zane softly whispering a poem into his ear.
“Look into the sun to see
Only darkness, in the end
Where beauty needs
No star to grow
Night will be a friend”
***
Casper woke up warm and comfortable. He didn’t immediately register where he was, and to be honest, he was too groggy to care. Maybe he could even sleep some more. The bed was soft and the pillow just how he liked it. There was a hand in his hair…
Casper opened his eyes, suddenly remembering being persuaded to go to sleep by Tom Zane. Sure enough, there was another body beside him. Blurry, as he did not have his glasses.
“Uh. Zane?”
“Not many other handsome men you could wake up next to in these parts, Darling. And now that we have slept together, don’t go back to calling me Zane,” the other man chuckled beside him. “Here, your glasses.”
Casper expected Zane to hand him the glasses, but of course he put them right back on Casper’s face, just as easily as he had grabbed them. No boundaries, this man. Casper also found his shoes and lab coat missing. He should not have worn them to bed anyway, so he supposed that was fine.
Zane was lying beside him, completely shirtless, smiling. How fitting for a being so dangerous to also be so beautiful, Casper thought. Not a very professional thought, but then again, this was not the first time he was stretching the limits of professionalism. Also, he doubted very much that his new collaborator cared about such a concept at all. When in Rome, when in the Dark Place.
“Did you sleep well, my Darling? You still seem a little befuddled,” Zane asked.
“Yes, thank you. I feel much better. How long did I sleep?”
“As long as you needed.”
“I don’t much care for such imprecise measurements of time,” Casper complained, pulling himself up to sit and lean against the headboard, “but I suppose you can’t help it.”
“Exactly! You’ll need to figure out your little numbers yourself,” Zane said, sounding like he thought science was a cute hobby. “For me, what are minutes, hours, or days? You looked so lovely sleeping in my bed, that I could hardly think about the flow of time. You twitched and mumbled just a bit, were you dreaming?”
Casper had been dreaming. Now it was only flashes of images and feelings, fading like dreams often were after waking. There had been a lake on a warm night. A bonfire, the light from the fire reflected in the water. And the blazing sun overhead.
“I think I dreamed of it, your Nightless Night. I’ve never seen it myself, of course, but I have read about it. Midnight sun, polar day. All names to describe the natural event, where the Sun doesn’t set at all. Happens during summers north of the Arctic Circle. It’s just nature, and yet it seemed…”
“Magical?”
“Well, that’s one word for it. In your film, the ritual took place during a polar day. Was the so-called magic why it had to happen then?”
Zane sat up too, moving on the bed so he sat cross-legged facing Casper. For the first time since Casper had met him, Zane looked a bit frustrated.
“There’s nothing hypothetical about the power of a night so bright you cannot tell it from a day. You need not call it magic, but it was what I was taught to call it, as a child.”
“As a child?”
“Yeah. In Finland, nightless nights happen during midsummer. Or, juhannus. Everyone learns at least a few spells one might attempt then. Most people don’t truly believe in it anymore, of course, but it’s a tradition,” Zane explained. “Most common spells are about gaining luck in love, passion, and fertility. So, also good fun for people who don’t take it too seriously.”
“But it works?”
“Mmmh. It can. Enough that I put the idea in my film. To call back a long-lost lover from the beyond? The magic will be strongest under the midnight sun.” Zane nodded sagely, like that was a true fact that everyone should know. “Alas, we can’t really use that in our upcoming project, for we could not be further from the light of the sun.”
It was true, there was only darkness here. So much so, that the sudden thought of endless light made Casper almost flinch. There hadn’t been any windows at the Oldest House either. When was the last time he had seen the sun? Casper found that he didn’t know, nor did he miss it, though perhaps he should have. It was a human need. Zane claimed Casper wasn’t human anymore, but he didn’t know what to think of that. This did make him wonder though, about this endless night.
“The opposite also happens, there in Finland, does it not?” he asked.
“Hmm?”
“In winter there’s a polar night. The sun doesn’t rise at all.”
“Yes, my Darling. Winters in Finland are always cold and dark, but especially so in the north. It feels like the sun has disappeared altogether and will not come back. Like the darkness stretches forever, and at the same time, all the darkness is concentrated just inside of you. Light and warmth feel like an impossibility, a fool's hope of a spring.”
“Huh. Like here. Except I’m quite warm right now.”
“From now on I’ll keep you warm here with me. Don’t worry,” Zane promised, scooting closer and putting a hand on Casper’s chest in a comforting manner.
Casper hadn’t worried about it at all. But now there was something dangerous in Zane’s eyes that he couldn’t ignore. Possessiveness. Casper realized that should he try to leave, Zane wouldn’t let him. He was sure there had been at least one door in this room before, but there certainly weren’t any right now. How fortunate that he was in no hurry to go anywhere. No need to worry about being a prisoner to a dangerous entity from a Shadow dimension, when he was right where he wanted to be.
Casper couldn’t help but lean closer to Zane. He was only a man, no matter what else he might be, and Zane’s gaze on him was hypnotizing. This being had promised to give him anything he wanted, had promised to keep him safe. And he thought Casper might want to leave? Casper laid his hand on Zane’s chest, mirroring the other man’s gesture.
“You stop worrying then, too! I’ll be happy to stay, and not only because there are no doors,” Casper said, hoping Zane could see the truth in his eyes. Maybe Zane did, because he smiled, eyes warming.
Zane leaned closer to him. “A kiss to seal the deal?”
Casper was of course very aware that Zane had been flirting with him from the moment they met, but hadn’t been sure if it was truly leading to anything. Well, here was the answer.
“Is that a Finnish tradition?” he teased.
“Furthest thing from it. We Finns are reserved people, who like their personal space,” Zane laughed, at the same time leaning even closer to Casper. “In fact, I might be too shy to—”
Casper pressed his lips to Zane’s. The other man giggled into the kiss at first, but then moved to straddle Casper’s lap, kissing him in earnest. Nobody using his tongue like that can be described as shy, thought Casper.
How long they kissed each other, Casper couldn’t tell. What were minutes, hours, or days? Regardless, they both were panting when they finally broke apart. Zane pressed this face into Casper’s neck and Casper could feel him smiling.
“Ah. That was very nice, Tom. Will kissing be part of our collaboration?”
“Would you like that, Darling?”
“Yes!” Casper answered quickly. Did he sound too eager? “I mean, if you’d like that as well?”
“Yeah. I think our working relationship will be long and fruitful. There will be so many deals to seal. Some might even need a bit more rigorous sealing,” Zane said smiling. He pressed his forehead to Casper’s.
Casper giggled. Honestly, Zane was something else. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt truly hopeful. This was his six hundred sixty-sixth day in this dimension. The number should have been unlucky, but for him it felt anything but. He spared a thought on consulting the Luck and Probability department, but no, he did not work for the Bureau anymore.
Work though, that was something they should do. As much as he liked kissing Zane, Casper did his best thinking bright and early. In this case, it was not bright, and earliness was up for debate. The point still stood.
Casper was already going over everything Zane had told him. If he was still caressing Zane’s hips while he thought, well, the man was sitting on his lap.
“You say there is such power in a sun that does not set at all. But what power is there to be gained from darkness that continues forever?”
“Yes, my Darling. What power indeed? You and I shall find out together.”