Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The last three years had certainly been eventful as far as Goro Akechi was concerned. First he had believed that he was supposed to be dead, he even fought that bastard Maruki while believing that his own death was all that awaited him at the end of the battle, but when the false reality shattered? He wasn’t met with oblivion or hell like he’d expected… He was instead met with an absurd amount of pain from a gunshot in his stomach while he seemed to be resting in a familiar shelter… A shelter he had gone to with his mother on numerous occasions… From what he could tell? After he’d escaped the engine room aboard Shido’s Palace he wound up there to recover from his injuries… And apparently even the all-knowing asshole Maruki was unaware of his survival…

The next year after that had been spent largely recovering and struggling with the unbearable weight of his own actions… It hadn’t exactly been fun but it had been necessary… Goro had some shit to work through… Not that he had really processed everything, even now… But he was content enough to try and gain some semblance of a life back. And of course, the first step towards doing that? Was finding his rival once again… He’d spent days worrying about where in the world he could be, only to come to the obvious conclusion…

He chuckled a bit to himself as he enjoyed his morning coffee, looking up at the woman behind the counter with a slight smile pulling on his lips. It had been quite a surprise back then, not that Goro had held some outdated beliefs or anything, it had just been startling in a way to see how much she had changed in their year apart…

Two Years Ago

Goro’s mind felt cluttered, his body was on edge and nearly shaking with a strange mixture of anxiety and excitement. He instinctively begrudged the way he felt, instinctively tried to push the excitement away, but he had to remind himself to not push it down… He couldn’t bear to see Amamiya again if he hadn’t grown at least a bit after all…

He was relieved to see Leblanc unchanged though, and as he walked into the shop? He was even more relieved to know that the smell hadn’t changed in the slightest either. It was almost as if no time had passed at all, as if he walked right back into that cold, dreaded February night…

To his surprise though? The person he saw behind the counter when he walked into the cafe wasn’t Amamiya nor Boss… It was some woman… A woman with jet black hair that went just past her shoulders and a pair of large, circular black rimmed glasses that almost reminded him of Sakura’s glasses… He almost thought she looked familiar… But he couldn’t quite place where he’d seen her before…

She was distracted with something, looking down at her phone with a great amount of interest, seemingly having not noticed his entrance at all. So with a slight clearing of his throat? He began to speak…

“Pardon me, would you happen to know an Amamiya-kun? I had believed that he-” he cut himself off when the woman’s head snapped up to look at him, her eyes shooting open wide…

Her eyes bore a striking similarity to his rival’s… A powerful silver-gray hue that belied an almost overwhelming amount of strength. But these eyes were a bit different than Amamiya’s… they were brighter , less burdened than his rival’s eyes had ever been…

“Would you happen to be related to him? A sister perhaps?” he placed his chin in his hand, raising a brow at the woman, only his confusion continued to grow when he saw tears welling in the woman’s eyes…

“A… A-Akechi?” she whimpered out in a soft, barely present voice, “I-is it… is it r-really you?”

Her voice sounded familiar too… Almost like Amamiya’s voice but it was slightly higher pitched… Although it had sounded a bit forced, almost like she was trying to sound more feminine… That was when it finally clicked together in his head… Goro’s eyes widened now as he gawked back at the woman with an instant recognition, “A-Amamiya?”

Without saying another word? She rushed around the counter to crush him in a tight, tight hug and for a moment? It almost felt like she’d never let him go… And he wasn’t quite certain if he wanted her to let him go…

—

She had apparently also been putting a lot of work into herself during their time apart, and even more so in the two years after they had reunited. She looked softer, happier and all around brighter than she ever had before. She had looked so much less burdened than she had during that year while she was leading the band of Thieves. And as much as it used to pain him to admit it? She had become quite… beautiful.

He’d never willingly admit it, but the Phantom Thieves had always been right about him… He’d never hated Amamiya at all… No, he loved her when she was Ren and that hadn’t changed in the slightest when she became Rei … And it had taken him six whole months after reuniting with her to finally admit it out loud to her… By this point? The pair had been dating for just over a year and a half.

“What’s up?” the raven flashed him a grin as she refilled his cup, fully prying him from his recollection

“Hm? Ah, it’s nothing,” he brushed her off, as usual, “Simply reminiscing, that’s all”

“Reminiscing?” a slight bit of concern flashed across her face and he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at that

“The good kind for once, I was simply remembering the time we first met up after the fall of Maruki’s reality,” he had no reason to lie to her, not that he’d be successful at lying to her anymore regardless

“Pfft, yeah, you sure were shocked,” she giggled in that bubbly voice he knew she’d spent months working on and it always brought a slight smile to his face when thought about how phenomenal of a job she did at molding her voice into that melodic tone, “What was it that you said again? You asked if I was ‘Amamiya’s sister’ right?”

“In my defense, it was a logical conclusion,” he chuckled a bit, taking a small sip of his drink as he did, “The last time I had seen you before then had been in the midst of a battle against a man who wished to be god, so I had been a bit too busy to pick up on any of the signs of your true gender identity”

“Heh, yeah, well… no one else really picked up on it either, so don’t feel too bad,” she shrugged before she started to adjust her ponytail a bit

Goro wasn’t much of one to gawk but he truly couldn’t help but notice the way her figure had slowly begun to change over time, in ways he noticed and even in ways that probably slipped right by him… The slight padding of fat on her hips, the slightly thinner curve of her waist, the small bust that he knew she was incredibly proud of… he felt like a moron whenever he thought about it but it was impossible to deny that she was beautiful. And by now? He’d be hard pressed to find even a single quality of her’s that could lead anyone to assume she was a man, and from what he understood? It seemed that her college classmates hadn’t had the slightest idea of her birth sex, which was certainly a relief, the last thing he wanted was for her to have to deal with possible discrimination…

The other thing that always surprised him was just how long her jet-black hair had gotten. It reached well past her shoulders by now, although it was just as messy as it had always been, just as he’d come to expect of his rival. For one reason or another he was always particularly enamored by her hair… It wasn’t too dissimilar to his own in terms of style, although his was obviously quite a bit shorter… For some reason though? The thought of that sent the slightest hint of emotion into his chest… A bit of longing perhaps? Maybe it’d be worth growing his hair out… But he brushed that thought aside for now…

Of course, he should have figured he wouldn’t get away with staring at her like a hormonal fool for that long… as soon as his eyes caught on her’s? He saw her devious, Joker-esc smirk and knew that he’d been caught…

“Like what you see?” she teased in a sing-songy tone that always sent a woefully familiar pulse of emotion into his chest

He maintained his composure though, just smiling back at her in a facsimile of the fake-smiles he always used to wear around her, “Of course I do, it’d be rather strange if I didn’t, correct?”

She giggled again in that melodic, feminine voice… another pulse of emotions went through him when he heard it, “Trying to flatter me this early in the morning? Guess you really are in a good mood”

“Well I certainly have good reason to be,” a bit of his genuine excitement leaked into his tone beyond his control, only unlike years prior? That notion didn’t activate his fight or flight, “I’m rather excited for Sunday… it’s been some time since the three of us last had some alone time together”

“Tell me about it,” the raven huffed out a sarcastic breath, blowing a loose lock of her black hair out of her face as she did, “Between my classes and Sumi’s practice? It’s borderline impossible to find time for all us”

“Precisely…” the slight smile on his face faltered for a moment, nearly breaking apart entirely into a frown, “I… Truly, I do wish that I could go see Sumire’s performances… or visit you after you get out of class or… O-or go anywhere that isn’t in Yongen…”

Rei’s expression also turned to a slight frown, that same damn concern shining through her brilliant silver eyes once more, “I know… but we both know she understands, as do I… you can’t risk being out in public for that long”

The mention of that fact made him huff out an even more genuinely exhausted sigh. Truthfully? It had been a miracle that he hadn’t been arrested before now… It’s not as if he was being overly stealthy before he’d reunited with Rei and he was a wanted criminal… He could still remember the day that she proposed their current arrangement…

Seventeen Months Ago

Goro could hardly believe himself, he was such an idiot, a fool, a moron, a useless neanderthal!! He pulled himself away from the woman next to him in a lightning fast move, much to her surprise. He even went so far as to fly up off of his seat on her bed in the Sakura household to try and put some distance between them.

Rei still looked shocked, her eyes were slightly wide and her lips slightly parted from when he’d… When he’d kissed her…

“My a-apologies,” he rambled in a louder tone of voice than he’d intended, “I-I hadn’t… I just… I…”

The ex-Thief blinked at him twice before a slight smile began to grow across her lips, not that he perceived that while he was in the panicked state of mind that he was.

“I wasn’t thinking! I-I… you know I lack experience with things related to emotion a-and you were leaning against me and I hadn’t been thinking straight,” he ran a hand through his own messy chestnut brown hair, despising the way his words came out as a jumbled mess. Usually it was Rei who was reduced to a stammering, blushing mess, but he cut himself at least a little bit of slack given the situation, “But I-I know we haven’t been together for all that long! And I don’t wish to rush you for anything like that, so maybe it’s best if I just-”

He nearly darted for the door before he felt a soft hand take a surprisingly strong hold of his own… He looked back in confusion to see his rival- or rather, girlfriend staring at him with a look of pure elation on her face…

“Goro,” she giggled a bit in that melodic tone of voice, “It’s fine… to be honest with you? I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for weeks now”

In all of Goro’s life? He’d only ever been this baffled a few times… The first was when Rei beat him in their duel, the second was when he was alive after beating Maruki and the third was when Rei had agreed to date him just a few short weeks ago… And now here she was again… Baffling his mind beyond all comprehension… Maybe that was her true talent…

In an instant though? The look on her face was deadly serious as she glared at him, “But I do want to make one thing clear… now that we’re together and now that we’ve kissed? I’m sick and tired of you risking your freedom by running around in public!”

“Wha-huh?” he muttered, feeling the change of tone like a slap to the face

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now but… I was worried you would just brush me off unless we were more serious…” her frown deepened a bit as she brought her hand to his cheek, “But I’m worried about you… you’re still wanted by the cops and yet you just keep roaming around in public… one of these days that luck is going to run out…”

He placed his own hand over her’s and furrowed his brow slightly in thought, he’d known it was a risk, he wasn’t a fool… But he didn’t exactly have any other options, “And what would you have me do?”

“Dad- I mean,” her face flushed a bit at that little slip-up, even though it was beyond obvious that she was more or less Boss’ daughter at this point, “ Boss will let you stay above Leblanc… I already asked him… you can move in there and stick to living in Yongen for now”

“Rei I can’t just-”

“Please… Goro…” she leaned a bit closer, close enough for him to see the sincerity and concern in her bright, watery eyes, “I can’t lose you again…”

That brought a grimace to his face, he knew that he wasn’t being the most careful but… To burden not only his girlfriend but also Boss by living above the cafe?

“You won’t lose me…” he weakly mumbled back, averting his eyes from her as they both knew he couldn’t guarantee that without agreeing to live in hiding

“ Goro… ” the desperation in her tone… the fear…

Realistically? He knew he would cave… He couldn’t quite bring himself to say no to her concerns anymore… Especially not after he’d just kissed her… So after another moment? He finally nodded…

—

Some days he still felt that he was going insane though… It had been a year and a half since he’d last risked leaving the cafe for any longer than a short trip to the grocery store or a walk to the Sakura household to visit Rei. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that she lived with the Sakuras and thus was always close by? He was certain that he’d have honestly lost it living in that damned attic…

“We’ll figure something out,” the raven’s gentle voice and her incredibly soft hand taking hold of his calloused hand once again broke him out of his thoughts

He looked up at her, instinctively wanting nothing more than to argue back against her, to snap and tell her that she didn’t know that… But of course he couldn’t bring himself to do that… Not when she looked at him with all of that fiery sincerity in her silver-gray eyes…

“Right…” his own voice was weak, almost shaky, but he’d been long past the point of worrying that she’d judge him for that, “Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not still impatient”

“You and me both,” she smirked back at him before she looked at her phone with a frown

“Almost time for you to leave?” he guessed, getting a sigh out of her in response

“Yeah… plus dad’s gonna come open up the cafe soon anyway, so…” the frown on her face deepened

“I’ll need to make myself scarce,” he nodded, quickly standing up out of his seat, prepared to head back up to his attic bedroom that at times felt more akin to a prison in and of itself…

He quickly finished what little remained of his coffee before he hurriedly began to march his way back to the stairs. Of course, before he could fully retreat?

“Goro,” he looked back over his shoulder to see Rei standing right behind him with a deeply worried look on her face, “We’ll figure something out soon… I promise”

A part of him wished to lie and act completely normal, to put up a facade of content just to ease her worries… But he knew that she’d see right through it, so instead? He simply turned around to face her and wrapped his arms around her without even thinking.

“Right…” was all he could manage as a reply, even if he didn’t want to lie and say he was fine? He also didn’t quite want to express his frustration with his current reality

His rival-girlfriend hugged him back for several long moments, but they both knew they couldn’t just stand there forever… Regardless of how much he wanted to. So regretfully, after a few more moments, she pulled away and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

“I’ll see you when I get out of class, ok?” he could tell that she was still worried, could see it plainly beneath her no-longer-fake glasses

“Of course, have a good day,” he gave her as convincing of a smile as possible

“See you later, I love you Goro,” she waved as she started to walk towards the door

“I…” even after all this time? Saying it out loud was something that was still a struggle, but he was more than willing to struggle through it for her sake, “love you too…”

As was typical for him? He waited until well after she walked out the door and was out of sight to finally pry his eyes away and walk back up to his room… Well before Boss had any real chance of showing up…

The attic bedroom had been through quite a few renovations over the last couple of years. At one point or another Boss had swapped out the mattress atop milk crates for an actual bed and shortly after he’d started living up there? Rei had bought an actual dresser for him to store his belongings in rather than having them all simply strewn about across the floor like they were.

He sank down onto the bed with a sigh, eyeing the empty shelving rack that stood nearby… He could still remember how it looked back during the old days, back when Rei lived up here instead of in the Sakura house… He remembered all the little trinkets she’d gotten from her friends, all the decorations that signified memories of time spent with those who cared for her… And yet now? That shelving rack stood empty… The trinkets having left with her when she moved out… In the rough year and a half that he’s lived up here? He’s told himself numerous times that he should put something up there, that he should try to establish his own memories with potential friends, but he never quite got around to it… After all, who would wish to befriend him? The only people that he could safely talk to were Sae-san, Boss and the Phantom Thieves… and while they’d all been cordial with him ever since he had started dating Rei? He knew none of them would be all that thrilled to spend time with him…

With another sigh he collapsed back against his bed, letting his eyes drift up towards the ceiling as his spiteful mind continued to plague him with thoughts of his past actions… The bad kind of reminiscing, as his girlfriends liked to call it…

“Now! Let’s see you drop dead one at a time, in front of your precious friends!!! ”

“Allow me to be entirely honest with you… I hate you”

“ DIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ”

“This is how your justice ends…”

BANG!!!

He shook his head, quickly pulling out his phone to try and take his mind off of the past. Of course, as soon as he did? His eyes caught almost instantly on his phone’s background… No matter how many times he looked at it? He could never quite get used to it…

The background was a picture taken down in one of the cafe’s booths. He had been sitting in the middle of the booth with Rei on one side and Sumire on the other, each girl kissing either of his cheeks. He had been against using the picture as his phone background at first but Rei being the little sneaky shit that she is? She’d had Sakura hack into his phone to change his background to that without his knowledge… Of course, he could change it to something else if he truly wanted to, but he never quite did… As sappy or pathetic as it was? The picture did help steady his guilt-ridden mind… It did help remind him that even if the world shall despise him forever? He can rest easy knowing that the two most important people in his life could never hate him…

Of course, it wasn’t perfect… Truthfully? He hated looking at himself… Even in a picture like that? Where he looked content? All he could see was the despair behind his eyes… The guilt and self-hatred that was boiling over just beneath the surface… He hated looking at that face more and more with each passing day. A face too similar to his father’s, a face belonging to a man who’d taken so many lives, a face belonging to a man who lived a double life as an assassin… Just looking at himself almost made Goro feel nauseous… Even more so than it always had… Truly, if he thought about it? He didn’t see the appeal of his face that others seemed to see… Not just his girlfriends, but also his fans from back when he was a celebrity… What exactly was there to like about his face? It was too sharp, too angular, too… Too masculine …

After another moment he finally managed to pry his eyes away from the picture, instead opting to flip through his phone’s messages. The Phantom Thief group chat was as active as ever, filled with a cluster of messages from Sakura who was rambling on about something that Goro lacked the energy to try and decipher. Aside from that though? He hadn’t a single notification to speak of, which made sense… Rei had just left and Sumire was doing her morning practice no doubt… So he simply let out yet another exaggerated sigh before letting his arm collapse to the side as his eyes slowly began to drift closed… Even after just drinking two cups of coffee? His mind was weighed down and slowed to the point that it was easy to slip into unconsciousness…

—

Goro’s dreams had never been pleasant… All throughout his life he was plagued by ceaseless nightmares, though their shape changed more and more throughout the years… As a young child? His nightmares usually revolved around the strange and sometimes scary men he’d see talking to his mother… As a foster child? His nightmares usually revolved around the sight of his mother, dead after taking her own life when he’d arrived home early… She had planned on the landlord finding her first, so Goro wouldn’t have to see it, but of course he’d gotten home early that day… As a teenager? His nightmares usually revolved around the lives of those he killed for his father’s sake or sometimes nightmares of his father himself… or even of Goro’s image slowly starting to resemble the bald bastard, of his actions and appearance mirroring his father beyond his control…

But now? After all this time? All this struggle? His nightmares were less… solid… They were far more abstract, far less comprehensible… But one recurring dream happened again and again and again almost every single night… He could see himself, dressed in his Black Mask attire with his blade dripping crimson red blood onto the floor as he rampaged about and slaughtered dozens upon dozens of innocent people… The Black Mask cackled and raged, tearing through bodies like they were nothing with Loki at his side… It disgusted him…

But when he turned around to avoid looking at the destruction his former self weaved? He saw another strange scene… A scene of himself, this time in his Princely attire, sat in a chair for one of the many talk shows he’d attended, talking about some inane nonsense with the hosts. The fake, plastic laugh… The grotesquely distorted smile… Robin Hood’s pompous figure standing just behind him… It sickened him almost as much as the Black Mask did…

He couldn’t stomach looking at that either, so he tried to look to his side, to avoid looking at either of his Metaverse selves. Of course, when he did look to his side? He saw yet another version of himself… Another mask, another fake, another lie… It was his cognitive duplicate, the one that had given him that bullet wound back on Shido’s Cruiser… He stood over Joker with his pistol drawn while Goro’s own corpse laid flat on the ground nearby… He spun around in an instant, before he even came close to having to see the end result of that scene…

There was only one direction left that he could look and yet when he did? The sight he saw always surprised him… The other three versions of himself that he saw were all fakes, masks that he’d adorned to further his goals… The feral animal he was as a killer, the charismatic fraud that he was as a detective and the sycophantic, heartless monster he was for his father… None of them were really him, or rather, none of them were his true personality, so he’d expect to see yet another mask when he looked in the final direction… But what he saw instead was far more recent…

He saw himself, sitting in that booth seat in Leblanc with Sumire and Rei on either side of him. Both of the girls were laughing while he looked content enough… He didn’t know what it meant… Why was that version of him here? He wasn’t lying about who he was to his girlfriends! He wasn’t still wearing a false mask to hide his true feelings!! He’d set that all aside!!! So why was his mind showing him this?!

The sight of it enraged him to no end, the implications his mind seemed to be making drove him mad, but as soon as he tried to take a step towards the most recent version of himself? Everything came to a stop… The world around him went black in an instant as each scene around him vanished into nothing… And right as he was about to try and lash out or yell? A quiet, whimpering voice echoed out from all around him… A voice he knew all too well… A voice he didn’t want to hear…

“M-Mama? I don’t-”

—

Goro shot up in his bed with a gasp before the voice could finish it’s statement. Sweat was coating his body thoroughly enough for his shirt to stick to his skin while his chest rose and fell rapidly with his harsh, gasping breaths… Yet as he tried to recall exactly what his mind was trying to tell him? What that voice was about to say? It was almost like he instinctively pushed it away… Like no matter how hard he tried? He couldn’t remember what his own voice was saying in that dream…

After several long moments of trying and failing to force his mind to remember? He tried to shake it from his mind with an agitated groan as he grabbed his phone to try and take his mind off of that damned dream, only for him to see a few messages waiting for him… Apparently he’d been out for a few hours without even realizing it…

DM:Rei

Rei: Hey, I’m so sorry but I won’t have time to come back to Leblanc tonight, I’ve gotta help Ann with a class she’s gonna fail without my help…

Rei: Apparently she was out late last night with Shiho and Ryuji for their anniversary so she completely forgot to do any of her assignments >_>;

Rei: But don’t worry! I talked to Sumi and she said she should be able to swing by for at least a little bit around dinner time! :D

Sure enough, as soon as he’d read those messages?

DM:Sumire

Sumire: Hello Goro-senpai! ^^

Sumire: I don’t know if Rei-senpai has told you or not? But I should have some time tonight to come and see you!!!

Sumire: It feels like it’s been so long since we last got to spend time together, so I’m really looking forward to it! ^^

Despite the slight tremble that was still going through his body from that dream? A slight smile came across his face at the sight of the messages.

Goro: Yes, Rei had informed me just a bit ago in fact. I shall be awaiting your arrival.

Sumire: Yay! ^w^ I’ll see you then senpai! <3

Sumire: Oops, gotta go for now, can’t look at my phone for too long!

With a slight chuckle he set his phone aside, figuring that with how sweaty he’d gotten in his sleep? It would probably be a good idea to visit the bathhouse before Sumire arrived… All the while he continued to struggle at pushing the thoughts of that dream out of his head…

Chapter Text

There used to be something incredibly calming about visiting the bathhouse, at least, several long years ago there was… But ever since the fall of Maruki’s reality? It hadn’t felt the same to Goro in the slightest. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was but he assumed that it was likely due to the openly visible bullet wound scar he had on his torso. At the very least that’s certainly the only reason he could think of as to why his skin crawled whenever he had to remove his shirt…

He tried to shake those thoughts from his mind though, it wouldn’t do him nor Sumire any good if he thought himself into another panic attack before she came to visit him. As he reclined back slightly in the bath though he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the past once more, back to how he had even really become friends with Sumire in the first place…

Three Years Ago

The false reality that Maruki had trapped them all in was as repulsive to Goro as it was illogical. Everywhere he looked he saw nothing but smiling faces, nothing but people that had fallen under that narcissist’s illusion without a second thought… It made him sick to see all of those mindless puppets parading around in public like their lives were perfect, but he didn’t exactly have much else to do… Amamiya had been busy that evening so progressing through the Palace had been put on hold and he felt far too antsy to sit around in his apartment.

As his eyes were sweeping over the crowds of Kichijoji though? He finally caught sight of a face that wasn’t smiling… A lone concerned expression amidst the sea of blissful ignorance that filled the streets around them. Out of everyone it could have been? He supposed he was lucky that it was Yoshizawa… out of all of Amamiya’s little peons? She hated him the least… Of course, he still wasn’t exactly looking for someone to talk to, but that hardly mattered when she finally caught sight of him just a moment later.

“Oh, hello Akechi-san,” the gymnast greeted as she walked over to him

It was clear to see that she still wasn’t sleeping well after Cendrillon’s little berserk fit… The bags beneath her eyes had only grown bigger and the red hue of her irises had been dulled and faded considerably beneath her glasses.

“What?” he greeted back as politely as he could, which in his current mental state was more akin to the agitation of a bear woken up early from hibernation

“Oh, it’s… nothing… I’m just trying to keep my head clear, you know?” the younger girl responded in a flat, borderline emotionless tone

He gave her a skeptical look, cocking a slight brow at her as he huffed out a breath, “Clearly you’re doing a terrible job of it”

As expected, she winced at his sternness, “Y-yes… I suppose that’s a fair assessment…”

Goro may have been a mass-murderer, he may have tried to kill all of the Phantom Thieves before and he may not give much of a shit if any of them die now. Yet in spite of that? The sorrow that came across Yoshizawa’s face in response to his words did strike a chord with him… And the notion of her leaving him alone in this sea of gratingly happy drones was enough to make him sick to his stomach. So, with a slight sigh?

“Although, I suppose I can’t very well blame you… after everything this horrid reality has shown us? I’m finding it quite difficult to clear my mind as well,” he placed his hand on his hip, averting his gaze from the gymnast while he heard a slight giggle coming from her

“I see… Well, what do you say we fail to keep our minds clear together then?” she asked, getting him to quickly look back at her with an obvious disbelief on his face

“What? You really wish to spend time with me of all people? I figured you’d be chasing after Amamiya and his useless band of morons,” he scoffed with an eye roll, getting another slight giggle from the girl before him

“Well, Ren-senpai and his friends are great, but honestly right now? You’re the one I want to see,” there was a sincerity in her tone that made it hard for him to disbelieve her…

“And why is that?” he hissed back, nose creased in a clear agitation

“Well, your… let’s call it bluntness , could honestly be quite useful in helping me stay out of my head,” she offered back, “Besides that, I’ve always enjoyed our conversations… even if we never got to talk all that often”

“And even if you thought you were a different person at the time?” he spat back in a venomous tone without even thinking

To his surprise though? While Yoshizawa did look dismayed by his words? She still nodded all the same, “Yes… that’s also fair… so perhaps we could say this is… me trying to see if Sumire likes spending time with you as much as Kasumi did”

He wanted to roll his eyes again at the notion of that but honestly? Out of everything else he could possibly do in this god forsaken wasteland of drones? There wasn’t much else that he’d rather do…

“Tch… fine then… follow me,” he turned around and started to walk away in an instant, if she didn’t follow him? It was no concern of his… of course, he rather quickly heard the rapid tapping of her feet as she followed right behind him…

—

Goro examined himself as he got out of the bath, looking his form over while he was drying off. His body was a canvas of scars and calluses brought on by years of ventures into the Metaverse… His skin was rough, hard and unpleasant… Like sandpaper… Wholly unlike Rei or Sumire, who both maintained a consistent softness that he couldn’t help but envy …

He shook that thought from his head though, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before he slid his gloves back on… Even after all these years? His fashion sense hadn’t changed in the slightest… Not that it was a bad thing, Sumire certainly tended to wear plenty of clothes that were similar to what she used to wear back during the days of the Phantom Thieves and Rei hardly counted on account of the whole ‘entirely different gender’ thing… Still… Some part of him felt a bit more of that envious feeling when he considered Rei’s clothing… When he thought about how she got to experiment with different styles and looks with Takamaki and Sumire’s help… When he saw the excitement on her face when one of the others bought her a cute outfit… He chalked that envy up to some lingering feelings from back in the day though, some longing feelings to have friends like that or something, and simply went about his business as quickly as he could so he could return to his prison without being spotted.

Boss gave him little more than a nod when he returned, a nod he swiftly gave back before marching right up the steps to his room. Even after all this time? He wasn’t on the greatest of terms with the man… Between killing the love of his life, nearly killing his actual daughter and pseudo-daughter, and now dating his pseudo-daughter? He supposed he couldn’t exactly blame the man for feeling more than a bit conflicted about his presence in the cafe… Luckily though Boss was as much of a pushover for Sumire as he was for the rest of Rei’s friends, if not even more so, so he’d be more than willing to give them the cafe for the evening when she arrived without issue.

Of course, that just meant that for now? All Goro could do was wait… He could try to watch some old DVDs or play some ancient video games that had been leftover from back in the day, but he knew none of it would maintain his attention… All he could really do was lay back in his bed and let his mind wander… An activity that had more or less become his entire life at this point…

Thirteen Months Ago

By this point? Goro had gotten fairly accustomed to the monotony of his life… His saving grace was when Rei would have time to spend with him, but even that was relatively fleeting with all of her college classes getting under way… Fortunately for him though? For one reason or another? Sumire had also been finding time for him with some level of regularity…

Sumire fascinated Goro just as much as Rei did… She was certainly as baffling as his rival… For some reason she always seemed to enjoy spending time with him, regardless of how little he had to offer her, and unlike the rest of the former-Phantom Thieves? She’d never had even a brief period where she despised him… Though he could at least chalk that one up to the fact that she hadn’t been present when he tried to kill the rest of them…

At the same time though? A few things had begun to catch his attention… The times where she’d be at Leblanc while Rei was there were always interesting to say the least… He often had the least input into conversations, so he largely preferred to watch, and what he saw as he watched the redhead talk with his rival? Well, it was fairly eye opening… She had a tendency to look at Rei with this sort of glimmer in her eye, admiration and appreciation that one would logically have for a caring senpai, sure, but also something deeper … Something stronger …

Her feelings of love towards his girlfriend were beyond obvious and yet? For one reason or another? He didn’t seem to feel the same murderous rage he would have expected himself to feel, which was strange to him… Certainly the notion of any of the other Thieves developing feelings for Rei would fill him with an unimaginable amount of rage, but because it was Sumire? He couldn’t quite bring himself to get defensive over it, and he couldn’t exactly figure out why…

His rival must have been reading his mind though as right as he was thinking about that? She spoke up from where she was standing behind the cafe’s counter, “You know… I think that Sumi’s got a crush on you”

He practically spat out his coffee in response to that, “What? Me? No, I believe you’re mixing up her feelings for you with some imaginary feelings for me”

The raven giggled in response to that though and shot him a wide, toothy grin, “You’re kidding, right? You seriously can’t tell that she’s into you?”

“And what, exactly, makes you believe that Sumire is attracted to me? ” he hissed back, fighting to keep himself from getting too defensive

“Aw, c’mon detective , surely you realized that she’s always coming around here to see you, right?” the smugness in Rei’s voice made him want to take her to the Metaverse to duel again…

“That hardly implies!-” he started

“Plus she’s always staring at you with this… obvious glimmer in her eyes… well, she’s always staring at you whenever she’s not staring at me that is,” the ex-Thief shrugged with an even more smug grin on her face, “You seriously don’t see it?”

“Not even a little,” he huffed back, crossing his arms and averting his gaze from the woman in front of him to look out the front door instead

It was a ridiculous notion… The fact that Rei had been attracted to him was baffling enough, but he could at least believe that was due to their similar backgrounds and experiences and the fact that they were rivals… Sumire though? What reason would she have to develop feelings for someone like him?

His thoughts were interrupted though by his girlfriend’s teasing voice, “You know… it’s actually kind of adorable to see you getting so bashful about this”

“Wha- I am not bashful!” he snapped his gaze back over to her in an instant but that just made her giggle even more while he scowled openly at her, “I do not appreciate the accusation here”

“Hey, hey, it’s fine…” Rei ceased her giggling at least and reached across the counter to take his hand, “To be honest with you? I think it’s kind of cute that Sumi’s attracted to the both of us”

He gave her an incredibly baffled look in response to that, “ Shouldn’t we mind?”

She just shrugged again with another one of her stupidly beautiful grins, “Most people probably would, but when have we ever been like most people? Besides, Ann, Ryuji and Shiho all got together, so I don’t think it’s that weird for these sorts of things to happen”

The implications of her statement made his heartbeat quicken ever so slightly, “Are you… proposing what I think you are?”

“ Only if you’re ok with it,” her expression became deathly serious once again, “Truth be told? I like Sumi a lot and I know you do too, but make no mistake, if you’re not comfortable bringing a third into our relationship? Then that’s completely fine, the last thing I want to do is pressure you into something like this, ok?”

Goro’s head was practically spinning, how the conversation had suddenly turned into this was baffling to him… He still didn’t quite believe that Sumire liked him in that way at all, she had no reason to, and yet here Rei was… Offering to bring her into their relationship?

His mind was starting to slip back into that state of overthinking that he was prone too, a state of panicked, racing thoughts that just couldn’t cease. Fortunately by this point? Rei had more than a little understanding of his mental processes and he was gently jolted from his thoughts when she leaned across the counter to kiss his forehead.

“Take your time to think about it,” she smiled warmly at him while their faces were still so close together, close enough for him to quite clearly smell her flowery perfume, “And I want you to be completely honest with me, ok? Don’t just accept things because you think I’d like it, I want to make sure that you’re happy in this relationship too”

A part of him wanted to yell that he wasn’t a child, that he didn’t need her to be so goddamn gentle with him, that he wasn’t weak and pathetic … But… He knew she hadn’t meant it that way… He knew she could never think of him as weak… So he bit his tongue…

For the first time since he moved into Leblanc though? He was actually somewhat glad when Rei left shortly after… He had a lot of things to think about after all…

—

Goro sat up on his bed, feeling a bit groggy as he looked down at his phone to check the time. Seemingly he’d fallen asleep again… Something that was happening worryingly often in his life… But he tried not to focus on that as a voice from downstairs rather quickly caught his attention.

“ Hello Boss-san! ” Sumire’s cheerful, sweet voice always did fill Goro’s mind with an easy peace

“ Heh, here to see the kid? ” the cafe’s owner asked with only a slight bit of apprehension in his tone at the word ‘kid’

“ Mhm! If you don’t mind of course! ”

“ Heh, I don’t mind one bit… if anything I’m always lookin for an excuse to close up shop early, ” that was when Goro finally decided to get out of bed so he could walk down into the cafe…

As expected, the moment he walked down the last step and the redhead caught sight of him? She rushed over to him in an instant and held him in a nearly bone breaking hug.

“Goro!” Sumire cheered with her face partially buried against his chest

With a slight laugh he quickly hugged her back and kissed the top of her head, “Good evening Sumire…”

“Well, I’ll head out for the night to get out of your hair, just be sure to lock up after she leaves, yeah?” Boss spoke back up while he was already on his way out the door

“Of course,” he quickly answered

“Have a good evening Boss-san!” Sumire spun around and waved excitedly, to which the old man chuckled and waved back before he was gone

Just like that? It was just the two of them in the cafe now and as was usual? They both slid into the same side of the middle booth of the cafe where Sumire started to quickly and rather excitedly ramble about her practice at gymnastics and everything she’s been up to lately.

From what Goro understood? Sumire still tended to be rather shy around most of the others aside from himself and Rei, but as far as he’d ever personally seen? She’d been this excitable and bubbly ever since Maruki’s reality collapsed… It was nice to listen to her talk though, it helped to keep his mind focused on something other than his own thoughts. Sumire was a grounding presence for him, one that he was endlessly grateful for in the relentless downpouring of thoughts and concerns that usually plagued his mind for most hours of the day.

Of course, he couldn’t rely on that peace for long, as eventually? His girlfriend asked the question he always dreaded… “So… how have you been lately?”

He knew the frown that came across his face made it instantly apparent how he was feeling, but he also knew both of his girlfriends preferred it when he was actually vocal about his emotions… So he begrudgingly opened his mouth once again, “The same as I have been for the last year or so… it’s… difficult having to just sit around in that attic all day long”

He heard her hum softly in response, but she seemed to choose to stay silent so he could speak more…

“I know I should feel grateful just to be alive after everything but… it’s hard seeing Rei and yourself progress so much while I’m just…” his frown sank down into a deep, self-hate filled scowl, “Just… rotting here… Virtually all I’m capable of doing anymore is sleeping while waiting for one of you to be around…”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it? He knew that to some degree? He was slipping even further… He was sleeping for more hours of the day and was starting to lack the energy to even get out of bed at all on days where Rei or Sumire weren’t able to be around…

“Goro…” he heard the sound of Sumire scooting over to sit even closer to him, “I know it’s been taking longer than any of us wanted… but Makoto-san’s sister thinks there’s a real chance we’ll have an option soon”

He couldn’t help but huff out a slight laugh in response to that, “Sae-san’s still working on it then?”

“Of course! I know that it… took her some time to come around to accepting the fact that you deserve another chance, but she’s been trying so hard to find a way!” the passion in her voice at least let Goro believe that she believed it was possible… even if he didn’t quite agree…

“I won’t be holding my breath,” he muttered out under his breath

He could sense the pout on her face as she gently flicked the side of his head with her fingers, “We will figure this out, ok?”

“Heh… you’re starting to sound like Rei does,” he looked back at her with a slight smile, even if it didn’t reach his eyes? It was better than nothing

“Well, she is an excellent teacher,” Sumire giggled a bit before she pecked a kiss on his lips, “And you should know by now that when we have a goal in mind? Nothing will stop us from achieving it!”

Despite his pessimism, that did get a slight chuckle out of him, “Including but not limited to, what? Three wanna-be gods?”

“Three for Rei,” she nodded, “But one for all three of us!”

“Right… Well, I wouldn’t say that I’m quite as ‘unstoppable’ as I was back then,” he huffed back and reclined a bit further into the booth seat, “As I said, I do little more than sleep nowadays… I imagine that I’m quite stoppable at this point…”

The concern on her face was even more apparent in response to that, “Goro… have you still not tried talking to anyone aside from Rei and I?”

“You saw me speak to Boss right before he left,” he dryly offered, earning him an eye roll in response

“You know what I mean…” she reached over to take his hand into her own, “...You know they don’t hate you, right?”

The scowl slowly began to return to his expression, as much as he loathed his own weakness? He knew that Sumire could see right through him regardless, so trying to deny it was pointless, “My concern isn’t that they hate me… frankly I don’t give a damn one way or another what any of them think, but it’s more the fact that I’m… uncertain if spending time with any of them would be useful ”

“More useful than ‘rotting’, no?” she shot back in an almost sharp tone, “Goro… it’s worth trying, isn’t it?... I don’t want you to be so alone whenever Rei and I can’t be here…”

“I’m fine …” he muttered out, averting his gaze to look off at the wall

“I know you are… but it’s still worth branching out, isn’t it?… just…” Sumire let out a somewhat drawn out sigh, “ Please … you know that we don’t like it when you close yourself off… a-and with our classes starting back up soon?”

He couldn’t hide the slight wince that got out of him, just the same as with Rei? He knew he would cave before too long… He’d never willingly admit it, but he’d probably do just about anything his girlfriends told him too…

“I… fine … I suppose I can try … but I make no guarantees about anything, deal?” he stated in a somewhat harsh tone, though the girl at his side didn’t seem to mind in the slightest

“Deal!” she giggled slightly before scooting over to sit even closer, practically pressed right up against him now

While Goro didn’t move an inch or react in any way when Sumire got closer to him? He knew he didn’t need to, she and Rei both knew all too well that he was severely touch-starved, that was probably why they both seemed to make a point of hugging him so frequently in the first place now that he thought about it… But regardless, he knew he didn’t need to show it physically for her to know that he appreciated the physical closeness…

“Good, now that that’s out of the way… What do you wish to do?” He rather quickly tried to change the subject, not at all willing to admit to the slight bit of anxiety that was building in his chest just over the notion of talking to someone that wasn’t Rei or Sumire beyond anything more than pleasantries…

—

His time spent with Sumire was much like his time spent with Rei, that being the only actual good part of any given day. The unfortunate fact of it though was that nothing that could last forever… And before all that long? She had to leave the cafe to go home and sleep for an upcoming conference, leaving Goro alone with his thoughts once again…

As was typical for him, he reclined back on his bed with a slight grimace, pondering slightly to himself about the past, letting his mind drift and swim through the murky ocean of memories that he’d much rather forget… He was only shaken from his retrospective after an unknown length of time when he placed his arm over his face, accidentally giving himself a whiff of Sumire’s rather feminine scent that seemed to be lingering on his jacket…

He tried not to be too strangely analytical, but he never could help but notice the various feminine smells of each of his girlfriends. Rei had more or less learned how to be a girl from Sumire after all, so the products they used had a tendency to overlap a fair bit with the main divergences being Takamaki’s influence… They both largely smelled flowery or fruity, a far cry from the generic, almost scentless-smell of his own products…

In a strange way he was always rather intrigued by that sort of thing, Rei had a tendency to be rather self-conscious about smelling ‘girly’ enough so she’d often asked for his opinion over the last year and a half. But his interest in the subject stretched even further back than that… He held some minor knowledge of makeup that he’d actually used to try and help Rei from time to time early on in their relationship. Of course, he only knew a little and he only knew any of it because of his various interviews on TV, although it had also been useful for hiding bruises from his various trips into the Metaverse as well… For one reason or another though? That knowledge always stuck in his mind, even though he had no reason to wear anything like that now… And for some reason the thought of that made him feel almost… sad…

With a slight grimace he removed his arm from his face to stare back up at the attic’s ceiling instead. He tried desperately to shake those sorts of thoughts from his head, it was a ridiculous notion after all…

In a desperate notion to get that thought out of his brain? He quickly pulled his phone back out to check on his messages… Not that he had much of any in the first place… He had been just about to close it once more to try and force himself to fall back into another restless sleep, but before he could? He remembered what he told Sumire… What he said he’d do… So instead, he begrudgingly flipped through his phone’s contacts…

Sakamoto? Gods no, he’d sooner strangle me to death with his bare hands than spend more than five minutes around me…

Niijima? Hhmm… no… she’ll likely remind me too much of Sae-san… and I’d rather not reopen that can of worms…

Okumura? Sakura? No … They don’t deserve to have to deal with me…

Kitagawa? Perhaps, although… I may lose my temper with his eccentricity, which would certainly upset the others…

Perhaps then… His eyes caught on one contact in his phone, it wasn’t exactly an ideal choice but given his lack of options? It was probably about as good of an option as he was going to get… So with another exasperated sigh? He typed out his message and hit send before he could second guess himself…

DM:Takamaki

Goro: Greetings Takamaki-san, I understand this message coming out of the blue may seem strange but to be completely honest with you? Rei and Sumire both wish for me to branch out and try to ‘make friends’... And you were seemingly the best option for such a task… Do let me know if you wish to spend time together, if not? I completely understand.

Goro tossed his phone aside with a gruff sigh, feeling well beyond pathetic for the way his heartrate increased with anxiety and anticipation for her answer… Somehow he already knew that he was going to regret this, but it was a bit late for that now…

Chapter Text

Goro found himself in that same damn dream once again… Surrounded on all angles by fakes, masks, false identities he used to adorn… Save one… The scene before him, of him sitting in a Leblanc booth seat with Rei and Sumire both on either side. It confused him as much as ever… Why was his most recent self lumped in with the fakes?!

Goro was nothing if not prepared though, he knew this dream would be happening once again and instead of looking around at the masks around him? He instead instantly began to charge towards the version of himself sitting in the booth…

With each step he took he heard the other false versions of him fade into the background, with each breath he took he felt the air around him growing thicker and more stilted, with each time he blinked he saw the vision before him growing more distorted and wobbly… It felt almost like he was walking through quicksand, and the closer he got? The more strained his efforts became, but he knew that he had to push through this, he needed answers for why he was seeing his current self amongst the masks he used to wear…

Eventually though, before he could get too close to the booth? His body completely stopped… The pressure that was weighing down on him became too much to bear… He couldn’t even lift his leg, let alone walk any closer, so without any other options? He opened his mouth to speak instead…

“W-why… Why are you here?!” he shouted, but even his own voice sounded distant and distorted, like he was hearing himself talk under water

He didn’t expect the other him to hear him, he had more or less assumed that these fakes were incapable of perceiving his presence at all, but to his surprise? His own voice called back, “ You already know why I’m here… ”

“What? No I don’t!!” he shouted back, sounding even more distant to his own ears

“ Come now… it’s not rocket science, idiot… ” his vision almost seemed to sharpen, or rather, the image of himself in the booth sharpened while the rest of his surroundings remained blurred and indecipherable, “ Or are you truly that stupid?... Look around you, look at them all once again… ”

Despite how much the arrogance of that voice pissed him off? He did as he was told… Slowly turning his head to the side to look over at the image of his ‘Detective Prince’ self…

“ You’ve worn many masks… Used many lies… You can tell me what they represent, can’t you? ” the voice sounded even closer now but with how much pressure Goro was feeling on his entire being? He didn’t have the willpower to turn his head again to look…

“That’s… the mask I wore to fool the public…” he softly answered, clenching his fists up tight at his sides as he did

“ The Mask of Justice… Now, the next one? ”

Despite the strain it took, he managed to turn fully to the side, now with his back facing the version of him in the booth, which meant the current mask he was looking at was the cognition of himself from Shido’s Cruiser…

“The mask I wore to earn the praise of my ‘father’...” he muttered out without prompting

“ The Mask of Obedience… Next? ”

With a slight grimace he turned to his other side now, looking upon the sight of one of his rampages in Mementos with Loki at his side… He could practically hear the psychotic cackles that would be escaping his lips beneath that stupid helmet…

“The mask I wore to get my revenge… to take people’s lives…” his fists clenched up at his own words, he could feel his nails digging into the flesh of his palms as nausea bubbled up inside of his stomach…

“ The Mask of Hatred… Now… Turn to face me once again… ” the voice called back

It took every last bit of Goro’s remaining strength to fully turn back to face the booth, this time though? Rei and Sumire were nowhere in sight, nor was the booth… He was instead looking into a mirror… A mirror that showed him as he currently was… Pale, sickly skin with deep purple bags beneath his dulled, dark eyes… He looked hollow … Like the life had fully left him during his stay in Leblanc…

“ Now, the purpose of this mask? ” the reflection spoke, looking just as exhausted and dismayed as he felt

“I… I-I don’t know…” his voice was little more than a murmur while he averted his gaze from the mirror, he couldn’t stomach looking at it any longer…

“ That’s not true… ” the reflection scolded, “ Say it ”

“I told you, I don’t-”

“ Say. It. ” the voice hissed and for one reason or another? Goro felt the almost irresistible urge to do as it asked

After a slight moment of hesitation? He huffed out a sigh and spoke, “You’re… The mask I wear to fool myself… right?”

“ The Mask of Repression… the final mask that you’ve yet to remove… ” the reflection scoffed, “ Surely you understand, right? There’s still something that you’re running from… Something that you’re hiding from… Even after shedding all your other masks ”

“Shut your mouth…” he hissed out, digging and gouging his nails even more harshly into his palms, “You’re wrong … Understand?”

“ Please… who are you convincing with that? ” a slight chuckle came from the mirror, and that was enough to finally set Goro off at last

He lunged recklessly towards the mirror but once again, before he could even hope to make contact? Everything around him gave way in an instant to nothing more than complete and total darkness… All the while? That same damn voice that he heard last time began to ring out inside of his mind once more… A voice that was significantly younger than any of his masks…

“M-Mama? I don’t wanna b-”

—

Goro flew up in his bed with a gasp, immediately feeling his chest heave with heavy, harsh breaths and his shirt clinging to his torso from sweat… He despised those dreams… He tried to shove it all down though, to push it back down into the neat little boxes he locked all of his feelings in… It didn’t matter what the bastard in that dream told him, he knew that he was being genuine… He knew that he wasn’t lying or hiding or repressing anything …

He let out a slightly shaky breath as he reached over to pick his phone up in an effort to help get his mind off of things, although when he saw the messages waiting for him on his screen? He felt another spike of anxiety shoot through his body…

DM:Takamaki

Takamaki: Oh, uh, wow… That was way more honest than I was expecting lmao

Takamaki: But I can come visit you if you want! I don’t have classes today so I’ll swing by Leblanc in the afternoon if you wanna hang out, if you change your mind it’s not big deal, I can just get a coffee and leave ^^

As much as he instinctively despised it? He did appreciate her giving him that out… But he knew he couldn’t use that out… He had to keep his word with his girlfriends after all, so he begrudgingly began to crawl his way out of bed to try and look as presentable as possible for Takamaki’s arrival…

Out of all of the ex-Phantom Thieves? Takamaki had seemed to change the least out of them in the three years since the fall of Maruki’s reality. How she managed to maintain her figure with the garbage she ate was a true mystery to Goro’s eyes…

While he didn’t exactly see the ex-Thieves all that often? He heard about them plenty from his girlfriends, so he knew more or less what Takamaki had been up to and her general activities as of late, which on one hand was a positive, but on the other? It did remove quite a bit of possible small talk that he could use to excuse his lack of engaging topics of discussion…

Unfortunately, as seemed to be the norm with him? He didn’t have all that much time to prepare before he heard the blonde’s cheerful, bubbly voice enter the cafe downstairs…

“ Afternoon Boss! ”

“ Hey, kinda surprising to see you here, Rei’s off at class right now, ” the cafe’s owner explained

“ Oh, I know, I was actually called here by… ” the pause assuredly indicated her looking around to make sure no one was there to hear her, “ Akechi ”

“ Huh… really? ” the genuine surprise in the man’s tone agitated Goro for some reason… So before their little conversation could continue any further?

“I’m up here Takamaki… You can come up to the attic if you would like,” he raised his voice to make sure they heard him

Sure enough, just a moment later? He heard the sound of her rapidly going up the short flight of stairs to reach his bedroom.

While she may have changed the least out of all of the Thieves? There was one thing that had changed that even Goro had noticed through his limited encounters with her… That being the fact that she was far more varied in terms of her style… As opposed to her consistent twintails she always seemed to used to wear? Now she seemed to wear a rather different hairstyle depending on the outfit. Today her hair was worn in a single, long ponytail that almost looked reminiscent of Suzui’s based on photos Rei had shown him before. She was also wearing a rather plain white top with a simple jacket and a pair of leggings, definitely a more casual style than Goro usually saw of her in photos…

“Hey!” she greeted him with the kind of smile that made it plain to see why she was a successful model and he had to fight to keep the pang of envy from showing on his face

“Hello…” he greeted much more softly, earning him a slightly confused look in response from her while she walked over to sit on the lumpy old couch that still sat in the attic
“It’s… been awhile since I saw you… last time I saw you was Christmas, right?” she cocked a slight brow at him

Just the mention of the Thieves’ annual Christmas get-together made Goro feel tired, “That’s correct…”

He hadn’t wanted to go at all, but they’d all met up at Leblanc and as was typical? He couldn’t bring himself to tell Rei and Sumire no… Of course, during that time he at least had the cover of a bunch of people being there, so he was able to escape much socializing with the Thieves… Unlike now… Where he was alone with one of them…

He nearly wanted to snap when he saw some concern show in her eyes, she was looking at him like he was some tragic, sad puppy and it made him sick. But as soon as that look appeared on her face? It was gone, so he bit his tongue.

“So, uh… how have things been?” it was almost relieving, in a strange way, to see that Takamaki was seemingly as bad at this as he was…

“Same as usual…” he quietly offered back, sinking down into his seat on his bed while he turned his gaze down towards the floor, “I don’t exactly do all that much…”

“Right… I know Rei’s always talking about your situation,” the blonde woman sighed, “Sumire too, they’re both always pretty worried…”

A pang of guilt shot through his chest in response to that… Even if he knew how worried they were? It still wasn’t exactly pleasant to hear it from a third party…

“That’s why I’m even doing this…” he huffed out, unable to keep himself from just spilling his feelings out to this woman who was basically a stranger to him at this point, “I agreed to try and ‘make friends’ to set their minds at ease but if it were up to me? I’d just stay up here and rot ”

He flinched ever so slightly at his own harshness and Takamaki fell silent as well for a few moments… Almost instantly he felt the absurdly powerful desire to hit himself for being such a prick…

“My apologies… that’s not exactly the best way of going about this, is it?” he sighed and finally raised his gaze back up to look at her, to his surprise though? Her own expression was almost… deadly serious?

“Maybe,” she shrugged, “But I like it better when you’re honest like this”

Another wince was torn out of him in response to the reference of his past lies but he quickly schooled his expression once again into a more neutral, measured one, “Well… I suppose you’ll find the new me to be more bearable than the old one. To be honest with you? It’s quite difficult for me to lie much at all anymore…”

Despite him genuinely meaning what he said? The words seemed to leave an almost sour taste in his mouth… And his own doubt at his own words must have shown on his face given the somewhat concerned and confused look that came across Takamaki’s face for just a moment…

“Right…” she quietly responded before her casual, cheerful expression quickly retook it’s place on her face, “Well, what do you say we watch some shows then? Unless you had something else in mind that you wanted to do?”

He blinked at her for a second, more than a bit surprised by the abrupt change in topic, but honestly? He was grateful for the out… So he simply nodded and helped her set up the old TV that he never used…

Even before his self-described imprisonment? Goro wasn’t much of one for TV… The only show he’d ever really been invested in was Featherman back when he was a child, but aside from that? He’d never given much of a damn about whatever drivel there was to see on TV. So needless to say? He simply let Takamaki put on whatever she wanted…

Truthfully he wasn’t even all that certain what exactly they were watching… It was clearly a drama of some kind but it was also… a bit hard for him to focus on what was happening on the screen… It was difficult for him to perceive all that much over the buzzing and subtle crawling of discomfort that he felt beneath his skin… It had been so long now where the only other people he ever really saw were Boss, Rei and Sumire, and in that circumstance? It was easy to excuse the longing, aching feeling in his chest that always appeared when he looked at Rei or Sumire as nothing more than his attraction towards them or maybe the guilt he felt over burdening them, but now? Now he wasn’t quite so sure…

Goro couldn’t keep himself from continually darting his eyes over to look at Takamaki while she was paying attention to the show and yet despite his feelings towards her being nothing like attraction? He still felt that aching deep inside of his chest… It was different seeing her in person rather than in photos that Rei hastily showed him… He was able to take in her presence more, perceive more, and the more he looked at her? The worse those feelings became…

Everything about Takamaki was obviously and undeniably feminine … It wasn’t simply her figure and the smooth, softer angles of her face, it was everything … Her style, her hair, her expressions, her very presence for god’s sake… Everything about her was overwhelmingly feminine in just about every way imaginable and something about that sent an almost unbearable spike of emotions through his entire being… A nasty, twisted spike of emotions and feelings that weighed heavily on him inside and out… And even though Goro wasn’t really the best at identifying his own feelings? These emotions were woefully familiar to him at this point… It was an utterly overwhelming level of want and need and envy that sank deeper and deeper into his chest with each passing moment… Not unlike some of his old feelings for Rei, back when he felt an absurd envy for the fact that people cared about her…

The thing Goro couldn’t quite figure out though was why … Why was he feeling this overwhelming envy just from looking at Takamaki?... Somewhere, deep in the back of his mind, an answer was supplied but he swiftly pushed it away… That wasn’t an actual possibility, he knew that much, but that still left him at a complete loss in regards to the source of these feelings…

Unfortunately though? Goro really must have been slipping more than he thought, because before too long? He realized that he’d been caught in his staring… Takamaki looked back at him with a slightly raised brow and a clear confusion on her face.

“What’s up?” she asked, thankfully non-confrontationally, so at least she didn’t think he was gawking like some lowly pervert

“Oh it’s…” he averted his gaze off to the side, “Nothing… It doesn’t matter…”

He should have realized that wouldn’t have worked though, Takamaki was a friend of Rei’s after all… the whole lot of them were nothing if not nauseatingly caring of everyone around them, “Well it doesn’t seem like it’s nothing”

“I was simply thinking,” he practically spat back, letting a bit of his frustration from his envy leak into his tone

“Aboouuut?” she drew the word out in an irritating manner, but he wasn’t about to give in, he may not have been able to tell Rei or Sumire no, but he’d be damned if any of their moronic friends had that sort of power over him

“Nothing in particular,” he hissed, crossing his arms tight and folding one leg over the other while he turned his head fully away from the blonde

“Pfft, yeah, I’m not buying that for a second,” he could hear the eye roll in her voice, “But fine, I won’t push if you don’t want to talk about it…”

“Good, as I said-”

“But I’ll also let Rei know that something’s bothering you,” that, of course, instantly made his head snap back to glare at her with an overwhelming rage

“What?!”

“How is that surprising?” a slight pout came across her face now while the show playing on the TV went entirely ignored, “It’s pretty obvious that something’s really bugging you and it’s fine if you don’t want to talk to me about it but you should talk to someone about it”

“Do not tell her or Sumire,” he seethed out through gritted teeth, but she quickly met his challenge with a slightly aggravated expression of her own

“Then how will I know that you’re not just gonna bottle this up?” her glare became sharper, “You already admitted that they’re the only two people you talk to, so if you don’t talk to me about it and you don’t talk to them about it, then you’re just gonna bottle it all up”

“And why is that a problem?” he hadn’t intended to get this agitated, but even just the notion of his girlfriends questioning him on this, leaving him unable to lie about it, made his skin feel clammy, “What does it matter to you? ”

“Why would it not matter to me?” she shot back, even more agitated than he was now, “Even if I didn’t care about you , I’d still care about Rei and Sumire, and letting their boyfriend suffer in silence until he blows up or does something stupid, again , isn’t something I can accept!”

He flinched slightly at her raised tone, he despised himself for it but in a way? He could hardly blame himself… Takamaki still seemed to possess the intensity and overwhelming heat of Célestine’s flame while Goro himself hadn’t felt Hereward’s presence in a long, long time… That fact alone was enough to tell him that he was fighting a losing battle, and if his options were speaking to Takamaki and looking like a fool or speaking to his girlfriends and looking like a fool? Well… It wasn’t all that much of a choice…

The frown on his face sank even lower into a deep, angry scowl before he opened his mouth once again, “ Fine … if it keeps you from telling them, I’ll tell you what was on my mind…”

Takamaki paused for a moment in the face of his surrender, clearly she hadn’t anticipated this outcome in the slightest, but even so? After a moment, she regained her composure and nodded for him to continue.

“It’s… well, to be completely honest with you? I feel…” he averted his gaze again, feeling just the slightest bit of heat rise to his face out of embarrassment, “...I guess the best way to put it would be that I feel envious of you, Takamaki”

The silence in that damned attic was deafening as she seemed to be processing his words for several long, long moments…

“Envious?” she eventually echoed in confusion, “I mean… I guess that makes sense given how you’ve been living, but to be totally honest? I don’t have it nearly as figured out as you might-”

“It’s not in regards to your life,” he cut her off, finally loosening the tension in his muscles as he fully surrendered to the reality that he was about to admit this, “It’s in regards to… your appearance…”

Yet another agonizingly long silence filled the drafty attic, seconds ticked by in a painfully slow fashion while Goro wondered to himself what her reaction was going to be… He wasn’t exactly all that great at predicting her though, so he didn’t even have a single clue as to how she would react, but even if he did have a clue? He knew damn well that any idea he had in his mind wouldn’t even come close to how she actually reacted…

“Wow… what a weird bit of deja vu,” she mumbled to herself, earning a very confused look from Goro in response

“Pardon?” the confusion overtook his embarrassment in an instant

“Oh it’s just… uh…” now Takamaki was the one looking embarrassed… and something about that notion made the pit in his stomach sink even lower, “I sort of had a super similar conversation with Rei once… shortly after Maruki’s reality… right before she, well… you know… became herself”

Goro could have sworn his entire brain ceased all functioning in that very moment, the only thing he could really bring himself to do was repeat his former response, only even more confused and more quiet now, “Pardon?”

“Well she was, you know… dealing with a lot of, uh… what did she call it again? Oh, right! Gender envy!” she snapped her fingers with her realization, not that he really perceived that over the hellstorm that was overwhelming his brain, “She said that she was always jealous of how I looked and how she wanted to look as feminine as I do…”

He felt his mouth go dry, as if he’d just filled his mouth with a bucket full of sand while his fists clenched up tighter and tighter and tighter with each passing second…

“O-of course that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re the exact same way!” Takamaki instantly jumped in again, presumably once she saw the intense emotions that were undoubtedly showing on his face

Her giving him that out would have been nice, if his mind were present in the moment to really perceive it… Instead though? His attention was all but entirely fixated inwards, down into his own thoughts, into his own actions and worries and fixations and his decay over the last year and a half… But more than any of that? His mind focused intently on the various thoughts and feelings he’d been excusing for months now…

His envy over Rei’s wardrobe exploration, his fixation on the feminine scents of his girlfriends, the disdain he held for his own shirtless torso, the way he never understood why others considered him to be attractive, the aching sensation that built in his chest when he saw Rei or Sumire or Takamaki… The remarks his fourth mask had made in that dream… The voice he heard in his dream night after night after night… The voice of his younger self… Of a particular conversation he’d had with his mother, shortly before her passing…

The words that his mind always tried to cut off, to shove down, to push away, to repress … Only now, now that he was reflecting on it all? Could he remember the words he’d said as clear as day…

“M-Mama? I don’t wanna be a b-boy…”

It was a nauseating thing to remember… A reality he didn’t want to acknowledge, a fact that he’d always tried to push away, a discomfort he always put up with until he could no longer do so…

“Oh… shit,” he muttered while he hadn’t even fully realized that he was speaking out loud, “What if it’s exactly like it was with Rei?”

Chapter Text

It was hard for Goro to understand how much he had forgotten… How many memories he’d completely lost… But when he thought more about it? He realized exactly why he had forgotten it all…

Many Years Ago

“M-Mama? I don’t wanna be a b-boy…” he stammered out in an uncharacteristically shy and meek tone that evening

His mother was as tired as ever, having just gotten off of a presumably grueling shift at the club she worked at. Ideally he wouldn’t have told her right that moment, but he was a child… It was only natural to tell his mother as soon as he’d found out.

“Huh?” she looked down at him with an openly confused look on her face, though her vision did seem to sharpen at least a bit as she focused on him, “What do you mean dear?”

“I… w-well… I was talking with Aimi-chan in class today and… she said that I sort of reminded her of a girl and it made me really happy…” he fidgeted a bit with the hem of his shirt as he spoke, looking down at the floor to avoid his mother’s gaze, “and I was thinking about it and… I wanna be a girl like Aimi-chan, and like you… I hate being a boy…”

He heard his mother inhale a sharp breath and for a moment? He almost worried that he’d said something wrong, that he’d be in trouble and get grounded, but before he knew it? His mother had crouched down and pulled him into a tight hug…

“Thank you for telling me that,” she gently spoke, lightly patting at the back of his head while he hugged her back, “I’ll be honest I… am a little out of my depth here with this, but don’t you worry, mama’s gonna figure this out, ok?”

“O-ok!” he happily answered, his mom was the smartest lady around after all! So he had no doubt that she’d know what to do!

Two Years Later

It had been quite a bit of a journey… as Goro grew he came to realize just how destitute they really were… His mother hardly had the money to afford food, let alone the opportunity to talk with a child psychologist about the feelings he was experiencing… Around this time the shame had also begun to set in… It was no longer seen as acceptable for Goro to only be friends with the girl’s in his classes and he knew that next year? The only school that he could attend was an all-boys school… The mere thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach… But it hadn’t been all bad at least… No matter how bad things got? His mother did always seem to find a way to cheer him up…

“Sweetheart? I’m home!” his mother called out, so he calmly walked back into the living room

His eyes instantly widened at the sight he saw when he entered the room… He felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of the long, pretty blue dress that his mother was holding.

“H-how did you?” he muttered

“Oh come on, I saw you eyeing this the last time we went to the store,” his mother explained with a warm, gentle smile, “I… I know things are rough right now and I know I promised to get you in to see that doctor but… I hope that this can at least make up for it a little”

“I love it!” he instantly yelled out when he saw the guilt and shame on her face, “C-can I try it on?”

“Of course dear, I bought it for you,” she handed him the dress with a slight laugh and in all of Goro’s life? He’d never changed clothes quite that fast before or after that day…

Several Months Later

From that day onward? She changed into girl’s clothes the moment she got back home. And the more time went on? The more uncomfortable she grew in her own skin and the more she hated being seen as a boy… But there wasn’t much she could do about that… Times had only continued to get tougher, so she would bear with it… All she had to do was wait until she was old enough to work, then she could help her mom out and finally go to see that doctor…

Unfortunately things never quite worked out that way…

“From what I understand your mother was a sex worker,” the person across from him spoke with an obvious derision in her tone, “That probably wasn’t the best environment for you, was it, Akechi-kun?”

“She was a great mother…” she hissed under her breath, glaring daggers at the woman who dared to speak ill of her

“Tch, well, I don’t know about that… we found the girl’s clothes she made you wear,” the crude woman spoke with no regard for her feelings in the slightest…

“She didn’t force me to wear them,” she snipped back, clenching her fists up tighter and tighter in her lap, “ I was the one who asked for them”

“That’s just what she made you think,” the case worker brushed her off with a single wave of her hand, “In reality? She probably only wanted you to dress up like that so you could start taking customers just like her”

“DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!!!” she’d finally had enough, she flew up out of her seat with a snarl of anger, ready to leap across the table and rip that horrid woman apart for what she said

“Calm down,” the middle aged woman huffed back, not taken off guard in the slightest by her outburst, “Either way, now that you’ll be living in a well-adjusted household? There will be no more of this nonsense. Do I make myself clear young man? ”

“But!-”

“ Do I make myself clear, ” the woman hissed in an almost dangerous voice… one that she couldn’t help but flinch in response to, “I can assure you that if your father had been around, whoever he is, he certainly wouldn’t have allowed your mother to put this twisted fantasy in your mind”

She wanted to explode, she wanted to cry and scream and kill and do whatever it took to get rid of that putrid woman’s presence, but what could she do? She was just a child… All she could do was nod her head and do what the woman wanted her to…

—

Takamaki looked back at him… her?... him … Takamaki looked back at him with wide, shocked eyes while he finished explaining her - his - memories…

“I was passed around from home to home after that… And after the third foster home laid out the same ground rules forbidding me from expressing myself in that way? I… I decided to push it all down… to focus my attention elsewhere… to focus on creating the perfect facade of a son that would finally find a real home…” he huffed out a hate-filled laugh, “Of course you know how that went… I started to obsess over my hatred for Shido … and by the time I Awakened to my Persona? I’d completely repressed every last bit of my true identity… replacing it with little more than masks…”

“Akechi that’s… that’s terrible…” the blonde muttered softly and while he still despised pity? He hardly even had the drive to get upset with her over it…

“It is what it is…” she - he - weakly offered back, “I guess it was buried so deep that even Maruki’s ‘omnipotent’ bullshit hadn’t seen it… not that it matters… that’s all in the past now…”

“It doesn’t have to be in the past,” Takamaki offered and he couldn’t help but laugh in response to that

“It’s a little late now for a child psychologist,” he spat the words out like they were poisonous, “In case you’ve forgotten? I’m an adult now”

“So was Rei when she came out… or… well… close enough to being an adult,” she shrugged slightly at her own point before she shook her head and continued, “What I mean is, she was in her third year of high school when she came out, so it’s hardly too late for you”

“...Even so? I believe you’re missing a bigger problem Takamaki… I’m a wanted murderer… how exactly do you expect me to even be able to talk to anyone about these feelings,” he hated how small he felt, how weak and pathetic and broken he was, but there was little he could do about that now…

“You don’t have to talk to a specialist about it you know… I mean, sure, it would probably help , but if anyone knows your identity? It’s you!” she tried to argue back, but all he did in response was huff out a sigh

“It would be better if we just forgot this discussion ever happened…” he deflated slightly back in his seat

“Nope! There’s no way in hell that I’m gonna do that!” Takamaki flew up out of her seat, hands on her hips with a deep, angry pout on her face, “You can’t just repress this forever!”

“Why not?” he dryly huffed back

“You know that Rei and Sumire hate when you hide how you’re feeling,” she instantly shot back, making him wince ever so slightly at the mention of them

“...You…” he finally lifted his head once again to level her with one of his most lethal possible glares, “If you dare to try and tell them a word of this!-”

“Come on, do you really think that little of me?” she rolled her eyes but kept her expression and posture firm and resolute, “I’m not going to out you, I’d never even consider doing something like that. But I sure as hell am not about to let you just repress it all”

He blinked at her a few times, eventually letting out a slight breath before the confusion overtook the anger in his expression, “Then what, precisely, do you intend to do?”

“I’m gonna help you until you’re ready to come out!” she shot back with a huge smile

“And why exactly should I ‘come out’ at all?” he muttered, partially under his breath, but the blonde just looked even more confused in response

“Uh, well, for starters? Do you not see how good of an opportunity this is?” Takamaki cocked a brow back at him, but he only grew more confused than she was now

“What the fuck are you on about now?” he snarled out, his patience running more than a bit thin already

“What I mean is, if you come out as a girl doesn’t that solve your issue? I mean, the police are looking for the former Detective Prince not the former Detective Princess , so if you come out won’t you be able to leave Leblanc whenever you want?” she shot back and in that moment Goro could have sworn he felt his brain cease all functioning…

He slowly blinked back at Takamaki, mouth slightly agape, as his brain began to speed back up to normal. He wanted to hit himself for not thinking of such an obvious solution to his problem… Then again, he supposed he couldn’t be too upset, his mind wasn’t quite as sharp as it once was after all these years of rotting . Even so though? Once his mind began to catch back up to reality and he started to seriously consider what she was saying? He couldn’t help but feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time… a tiny bit of hope…

“You… believe that would actually work?” he spoke in a nearly whisper-like tone

“Let me put it this way… after Rei came out and we started helping her with presenting more femme? None of our former classmates from Shujin recognized her at all ,” Takamaki answered with an even wider and warmer smile

Her words echoed slowly inside of his brain while he dropped his gaze down towards the floor as his fists clenched up tight at his sides. The thought of it, of finally being free, of finally having a life again, of finally being able to catch up to his girlfriends, it was almost too good to be true… But at the same time? He’d thought the same when he first realized he was alive… and when Rei said she loved him… and when Sumire said the same… Time and time again? He’s thought that everything in his life since the day he woke back up was too good to be true… And yet it’s all been true… So who’s to say this couldn’t be true too?

He let out a slow, drawn out breath, tensing his fists up more and more as the possibility of a future began to cement in his mind…

“Takamaki…” he muttered out softly

She hummed, waiting several more tense, silent seconds while he came to terms with what he was about to say…

“I… I need your help…”

Two Days Later

Rei felt more than a little concern deep inside of her chest, even as she greeted her girlfriend with a hug and a kiss. Today was finally the day the three of them would get to spend time together all at once, for the first time in quite some time, and as excited as she was about that? She couldn’t help but think back to the message she had received last night from her boyfriend…

DM:Goro <3

Goro <3: When you arrive with Sumire on Sunday I shall have something very important to discuss with you both

Still, she tried her best to push those worries aside, focusing her attention instead on her girlfriend at her side as the pair walked out of the train station hand in hand. Unfortunately for her though?

“So… did Goro send you a message last night as well?” Sumi asked right after they’d entered the brisk evening air of Yongen

“Yeah… he did,” she answered with a slight frown and a sigh, “I’m honestly really worried about him… I know being stuck in the attic is a lot harder on him than he’s letting on…”

“Yeah…” the redhead sighed as well, “Isn’t Makoto-san’s sister still working on a solution though?”

“She is, but…” she worriedly gnawed at her lip for a moment in thought, unsure of the best way to put this, luckily before she had to figure it out?

“But you’re uncertain if she can find a solution before Goro reaches a scarily low point…” Sumi finished for her with a grim nod, “I feel the same…”

She looked back at the younger woman for a moment before she smiled and gave her hand a quick squeeze, “Well, I guess it’s on us then, as his girlfriends, to make sure that he doesn’t reach that point!”

The other girl looked back at her and giggled, thankfully bringing another large, warm smile to her face, “Right! Plus I think he actually started starting with Ann-san quite a bit!”

That was certainly a surprise to Rei and she let it show on her face, “Seriously? Neither of them mentioned that to me”

“Mhm! He mentioned to me that she was around the other day when I texted him!” Sumi explained with more than a little open relief in her expression

That same relief was mirrored in Rei when she let out a slight sigh, “Well that’s good at least”

Fortunately, the walk from the station to Leblanc was as short as ever and before too long? They’d finally arrived at the cafe.

There were a lot of things that Rei had been expecting to see when she entered the closed cafe. She thought she might see her boyfriend sitting at the counter, hunched over and filled with an overwhelming sorrow. Or perhaps she’d see nothing at all, and he’d just be laying in bed up in the attic without having the willpower to get up and greet them. Or maybe she’d walk in to see the rare sight of Goro being brought to tears, something he seldom allowed to happen, even around his girlfriends.

What she wasn’t expecting to see though was Goro standing in the center of the cafe, leaning slightly against one of the booths while wearing a frankly gorgeous blue dress…

—

She despised the way her heart was thudding hard in her chest, like a pathetic child that was scared to see her crush, but she had to give herself at least a bit of leniency… Out of all the ways she could have chosen to come out to her girlfriends? This was certainly the most… Flashy… And she couldn’t help but huff out a laugh to herself at the notion that Rei’s penchant for the dramatic had rubbed off on her a bit, although she’d never admit it.

She had to applaud Takamaki’s talents though, the makeup the model had applied just a few short hours ago was nothing short of masterful, it reminded her in a way of Kitagawa’s talent with a brush. “I’m used to doing this kind of makeup, I helped Rei with this ALL the time back before she learned how to do it herself,” she had explained with a laugh while she was walking her through the steps of how to highlight her softer features while subduing her sharper, more masculine ones. In the end? She looked… surprisingly feminine… And just the sight of it in the mirror was nearly enough to bring her to tears…

She’d wanted, needed , everything to be perfect… She must have looked through at least a hundred pictures of dresses that Takamaki had found in her size, and while the knee length, dark blue dress she was currently wearing wasn’t perfect? It was as close as she could get on such a short notice.

When the bell on Leblanc’s door chimed she turned her gaze back towards the entrance, feeling her heart slam even harder in her chest as she made eye contact with Rei and Sumire. The two women stared back at her, slightly wide eyed and confused while she felt her mouth go dry from the sheer dread that was overwhelming her body.

Several tense moments passed in that horrid silence before at long last? Joker seemed to find her footing.

“Wow… Did you get all dolled up just for us?” the raven stated with a cocky, arrogant grin on her stupidly kissable lips

And before she even had a chance to reply? Sumire dashed over to at the speed of a missile, wrapping her arms around her tighter than ever, “You look so pretty!”

Rei, of course, followed right behind her, slinking behind the pair to hug her other side from behind, resting her head on her shoulder, “Sumi’s right, you look amazing ”

“I-I…” she dumbly stammered for a moment before she cleared her throat and begrudgingly hugged her partners back, “Yes, well, I had help in picking out the correct outfit for my body type and general style…”

“So, is this what you wanted to talk to us about?” Sumire wondered, looking up at her with her bright red eyes filled to the brim with a loving warmth that set her mind more at ease

“Indeed… I’ve… well… I’ve done some thinking and reminiscing as of late and… came to a conclusion that Rei and I are even more similar than I had initially suspected,” she explained, dancing around the notion of stating it plainly

Of course, her rival instantly understood what she meant and looked at her with slightly wide eyes beneath her glasses before she lunged her head forward to kiss her, practically slamming their lips together in an almost feverish rush. And just as she suspected? The moment her rival pulled away, Sumire stood up on her toes to kiss her immediately after, a bit more softly, but no less passionately.

Once they’d both had their fill of kissing her? The trio found themselves squished into one side of a booth, with her of course being caught right in the middle while her girlfriend’s took one hand each to hold for themselves. It was maybe a bit claustrophobic, but she wouldn’t dare try to send them away.

“Soooooo, do you have a name you’d prefer?” Rei asked with that same cheeky grin

She looked back at the raven for a moment before dropping her gaze down to her own lap. It was a good question, one she had been thinking about rather relentlessly for the last two days. But no matter how many possible names came to her mind? There really was only one logical option for her…

“Mama… What would you name me?... If I had been born as a girl I mean”

“Hm? Oh, well that’s easy, I would have named you-”

“Yumi…” she quietly whispered out, almost too quietly for either of them to hear, but fortunately in the silent cafe her words came across clear

“Yumi Akechi,” Rei nodded, smiling wider than ever at her

“It’s a good name for you, Yumi,” Sumire squeezed her hand from the other side, scooting over a bit to press a bit more against her

She laughed a bit in response and for once? She didn’t even feel pathetic for how choked up it sounded, “I… I’m glad you’ve both taken to this so quickly…”

“Of course we have!” the raven instantly shot back, looking directly into her eyes with a powerful, firm sort of authority she hadn’t seen from her since Maruki’s reality, “We love you Yumi… regardless of anything else”

“She’s right!” Sumire chimed in next, getting her attention over to her other side just to feel more than a bit surprised when she saw a similar sort of authority in the younger woman’s gaze, “We’ll love you no matter what!”

That was finally what broke her… She couldn’t stop herself from letting out a few short sobs, and yet once again? She found herself not feeling pathetic for it… If anything? She felt happy … Maybe happier than she’s ever felt before in her entire life…

Chapter Text

“Are you really sure this will be ok?” Yumi worried while Rei was practically dragging her along through the backstreets of Yongen

“Come on! We’ve been preparing for this for weeks! ” her rival shot back at her with a wide, toothy grin that made her as weak as her smiles always did…

“Rei’s right! You’re totally ready and you look stunning , Yumi!” Sumire offered her encouragement as well, though she let the raven handle the dragging

“You say that but perhaps it would be safer to postpone for a later date, I mean, I hardly look all that different,” she uselessly argued back but before she could even get any more words out? Suddenly the three of them were onboard the subway… The subway that was taking them out of Yongen-Jaya…

That was the moment it finally felt real to her… It finally sank in that this was actually happening , that she wasn’t just dreaming, that she was finally leaving Yongen for the first time in over a full year and truthfully? She was terrified of that notion… It made her feel a bit pathetic, she used to be able to jump into Palaces without an ounce of concern but here she was almost shaking just because she’s not in that goddamn cafe anymore…

Her girlfriends helped ease that discomfort though, and luckily it was fairly late in the evening all things considered, so they were all able to get some seats with Rei and Sumire each sitting on either side of her.

She looked down at her outfit once again, a decidedly feminine attire consisting of a black and white pleated skirt with a simple white blouse and a black jacket. Between that, the fact that her messy chestnut hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and the makeup that Rei had helped her apply? The chances of her being identified as the wanted criminal Goro Akechi were relatively slim. Of course, even knowing that fact didn’t make it any less nerve wracking to her…

It had only been one month since she came out but between Rei, Sumire, Sakura and Boss? She was able to start on hormones almost instantly, and as of yesterday? She officially had a new identity…

Yesterday

“Here,” Sae was as blunt as ever as she thrusted her brand new ID towards her

Yumi took the small plastic card in her hands, almost feeling like she was still dreaming when she saw it all together. Her picture had been taken after Takamaki and Rei had spent hours perfecting her makeup, so she looked decidedly more feminine than she had any right to, but what truly didn’t feel real at the moment was what the ID said .

Yumi Hashimoto

Sex - Female

She could hardly believe it… After all this time she finally had it in her hands, a chance at a new life, an opportunity to actually live for the first time since her mother died, it was almost entirely overwhelming…

“You should thank Sakura-chan for the help, she was able to speed things along far more quickly than I would have been able to alone,” the defense lawyer stated plainly, finally drawing Yumi out of her staggered state of mind

“R-right,” she shook her head and looked up at the older woman with a purely neutral expression, “Thank you as well, Sae-san… I know that you aren’t the biggest fan of me anymore, so I truly appreciate all you’ve done”

The silver haired woman huffed out a sigh and looked away from her, “Yes, well… Amamiya and all of her friends seem to believe you deserve this chance, so you can thank me by not wasting it, Hashimoto-san”

With that? Sae left the cafe before Yumi could even fully process the name she had just been called…

—

She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t even fully realized they'd arrived in Shibuya until her girlfriends were yanking her hands and guiding her back out towards the bustling streets. Rei and Sumire talked about something while they were walking together but none of their words truly reached her… She was still a bit too lost in her thoughts… After a full year of nothing but a coma-like existence? It was almost hard to cope with how busy her last few days had been… But one conversation in particular always seemed to come back to the forefront of her mind…

Three Days Ago

“You know,” Boss spoke up that evening while Yumi was sitting down in the cafe, an apparent exercise Rei had suggested to get her more accustomed to being around strangers while presenting fem, of course by this time of night? It was just her and cafe owner left

“Yes?” she looked up from her drink and cocked a slight brow at the man

“I know you’re probably pretty psyched to get out of here, and I sure can’t blame you for that, but I figured I’d let ya know…” the man set down the cup he had been drying with a dishrag to look more seriously at her, “If you start struggling to adjust to it all, you’re always free to stay in the attic again whenever you’d like”

She knew the shock must have shown on her face, her control over her emotions had been a bit lacking ever since her rediscovery of her identity… But in response the man just gave a slight chuckle.

“I say that because I know Rei likes havin you so close by,” he offered as an explanation, lacking as it was

“I… honestly imagined you’d be throwing me to the curb as soon as my new identification arrives,” she spoke with a half-serious, half-joking tilt in her voice, although she broke eye contact with the man as she said it which likely made it seem far more genuine than joking

“Come on, I’m not that bad, am I?” the man almost sounded surprised by her words

“You’d hardly be unjustified,” she couldn’t help but hiss out, feeling that familiar burn of guilt and hate sizzling in the back of her throat, “It’s about what I’d deserve”

“Well I don’t know about that,” that of course made her look back up at the man out of confusion before he sighed and swiftly began to explain, “Look… you and I both know that I’m not too fond of you, and you can be damn sure I’m never gonna forget the shit you pulled for Shido”

A wince tore through her at the harsh truth of his words, making her almost shrink in on herself into a festering pool of guilt and self-hate, but before she could sink all that low into it?

“But at the same time? You do make Rei happy,” once again, her head snapped back up to gawk at the man in absolute confusion while he grinned slightly back at her, “So that’s good enough for me, try and keep that in mind, yeah? Cause if you let yourself fall apart and it stresses her out? There’ll be hell to pay”

Yumi blinked slowly at the strange cafe owner, in a weird way his words… made a lot of sense… It wasn’t some fairy-tale forgiveness, her sins weren’t just wiped clean, but she mattered to someone important to him, which in a strange way? Made her matter to him as well, even if he still didn’t like her all that much… She couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh as she nodded at the man. It wasn’t perfect, but it was more than good enough for her…

—

Her girlfriends were still speaking about something amongst themselves, but Yumi was far too focused now on the overwhelming sensation of the crowds around her as they emerged out of the subway station and into the open air of Shibuya… For a long time she had been a bit confused about how Sakura had developed such severe social anxiety after being a shut-in for only a single year following her mother’s death, but now that Yumi found herself in a similar position? It made a lot of sense to her… After months of living in a mostly silent cafe, the streets of Shibuya were almost unbearably loud and the constant flood of stimuli almost had her head spinning by the time they walked into the smaller and quieter diner.

She was still trying to catch her bearings when they walked through the door and of course as soon as they did?

“Hey you guys!” Takamaki’s voice called out from a nearby table and Rei rather quickly ran over to her

She looked up to see that Suzui and Sakamoto were there as well, just as planned, and for a moment? Yumi almost felt the intense urge to run away… Luckily, before that thought could cement itself into action? She felt a soft hand take a firm grasp on her own.

“Are you alright?” she looked over to look down into Sumire’s eyes, the bright red irises were filled with an almost overwhelming amount of warmth and care that helped immediately set her mind more at ease

She couldn’t run away, she couldn’t be a coward, she was already years behind her rival in terms of progress, so she didn’t have time to waste with cowardice… Even still, she didn’t feel confident enough to respond with words, but her nod seemed to be firm enough to get her girlfriend to agree and start walking forward to the table, still hand in hand.

“Ohmygosh, Yumi! You look incredible!” Takamaki cooed and she almost instinctively wanted to roll her eyes, but her nerves made it a bit hard to be passive aggressive at the moment…

“Yo, been awhile,” Sakamoto greeted with a slight nod and a casual enough expression on his face

She looked the boy over quickly, though honestly? Not much had changed in terms of his appearance since the days of the Phantom Thieves. He had the same hair, dressed in the same sort of clothing, had the same sort of smile and just all around looked almost entirely identical to back then.

“Hey! Nice to finally meet you!” Suzui then spoke up from where she sat on the far seat in the booth, right against the wall, “Ann’s been talking about you a lot lately”

“Has she now?” she shot back, thankfully managing to maintain a consistent and calm tone of voice even in spite of the way her heart was thudding hard in her chest

She slid into the booth seat beside Rei, before Sumire took the end seat. Across from her was Takamaki while Sakamoto sat on the far end on their side for this little… triple date? Whatever one would call it when two polyamorous groups of three went on a double date together…

“It’s all good things!” the model shot back with a cheeky grin as she lowered her voice to a whisper, “I always love helping out when eggs crack”

“Aren’t I only the second you’ve ever helped with?” she deadpanned back

“Yeah, but she gushed over my coming out for like a year,” Rei offered with a shrug and a wide, proud grin

“Ya know…” the faux-blonde spoke back up, frowning slightly at her and for a moment? She almost worried he was going to get aggressive, that he was still rightfully upset with her even after all this time, but instead? “How the eff are there six of us here and I’m the only dude?”

That of course left Yumi at a loss for words while the rest of the girls laughed.

“Careful Ryuji-kun, if you’re not careful maybe you’ll become a girl too,” Sumire teased with a sweet smile

“What?! Hell no!” the blonde man protested as profusely and loudly as he protested everything else

“Eh, Sumire’s got a point you know, the track record for your group doesn’t look so good for guys,” Suzui added to the teasing with a Sakura-esc sort of shit-eating-grin

“It’s only Kitagawa, Morgana and Sakamoto, no?” she wondered, crossing her arms over her chest and placing her chin in her hand out of curiosity

“Yusuke’s actually been… uh… how’d it go again?” Sakamoto looked to the former leader for an explanation

“‘Exploring the beauty of gender outside of the crude binary constructed by society’,” Rei explained with a rather accurate impression of the artist

“Yeah, and Mona said he doesn’t really even have a gender,” Takamaki now added in on the teasing, “So it’s really just you Ryuji”

“For now~” Suzui spoke in a sing-songy sort of tone

“Eff off!” Sakamoto’s voice lacked any real bite at least, so it was all in good fun as far as Yumi could tell

“For real though, Ann’s right, you look great Ake- uh… I mean… what was it again?” Suzui’s brow furrowed slightly in an obvious confusion

“Hashimoto”

“Right! You look great, Hashimoto-san!”

“Howdya land on that name?” the faux-blonde asked next, to which she just shrugged

“Sae-san and Oracle came up with it, apparently it was the perfect middle ground of common enough to not be suspicious while also not being so common as to come across as fake,” she flatly explained, to which the man nodded in an apparent understanding

“Oh, well I’m sure that one day you’re last name will change to something like Amamiya-Yoshizawa, right?” Takamaki offered with a giggle

“Th-that’s!” Sumire gasped and she could almost feel the heat of embarrassment radiating off of her

“Hey! Who’s to say I won’t make my last name Sakura before then?” Rei instead shot back with her own wide, teasing sort of grin, “I’m getting close to convincing Boss to fill out the adoption papers~”

“Rei, you’re twenty years old…” Suzui deadpanned

“It’s never too late for an adoption!” her rival shot back with even cheekier grin while her other girlfriend was still blushing and stuttering at the prospect of marriage

It was honestly all a bit unbelievable to her… Sure, Takamaki had truly befriended her for whatever reason, but it was hard for Yumi to grasp why Sakamoto could bear her presence or why Suzui didn’t seem frightened of her in the slightest… They both had plenty of reason to not want a murderer like her around and yet? As she looked around the table to see everyone’s smiling faces as they continued to tease and make small talk? There wasn’t even a single hint of animosity… If anything, it just felt like a group of friends having a get-together after college… It was… nice… And for the first time since the fall of Maruki’s reality? Yumi felt truly glad to be alive…