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Summer was not Samudra's favorite season. As much as he loved the pleasant weather and the bright blue sky, the thought of taking a trip during summer made him anxious. He didn't like to go near the deep sea or deep waters in general, and he rarely ever talked to anyone about this fear. It was a secret he preferred to keep. It’s quite ironic for his name.
This summer seemed like it would be the same as always—just him and his spouse, Shamane, enjoying the warmth indoors. But then Shamane's voice broke through his thoughts. "Samudra! How about we go on a date to the beach?"
Anjir.
“What?” Samudra murmured, his eyes flickering left and right, searching for an excuse. He could never say no to his husband. Shamane was too kind to be rejected. “E-Eh.. the beach? Are you sure, tresnoku? What if it rains or… something?” he suggested weakly.
“The forecast is clear all week!”
“But what about all the people? You know how crowded it gets. We might not even find a good spot!-"
“Don’t worry, I’ve already thought of that, We’ll go early to avoid the crowds.”
Desperation creeping in, Samudra added, “And the food! We’d have to pack everything. What if we forget something important?”
Shamane answered with a simple reply, “I’ve got us covered. I made a list and packed everything we needed last night.”
Samudra felt trapped. He didn't want to disappoint Shamane, but the thought of the open water made his stomach churn. “Why so sudden?” he blurted, hoping for one last lifeline to cancel the trip without revealing his fear.
Shamane smiled, gently caressing the back of his neck. “I just want to spend time with you more..,” he chuckled. He looked too excited to be turned down. They had been married for, what, two years now? Yet they had never been to the beach together.
Samudra felt he had run out of excuses. Shamane’s excitement was contagious, and he couldn’t bear to dampen it with his fears. With a heavy heart, he sighed, forcing a smile and trying to push his worries down. “That sounds lovely.. when will we get going?”
Shamane beamed, eyes twinkling with excitement. "Great! We can head out tomorrow morning. I already packed us a picnic basket and everything!"
Samudra nodded, doing his best to maintain a cheerful demeanor. Unable to find another excuse, Samudra forced a smile. “Alright then, tomorrow it is.”
That night, he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling while Shamane slept soundly beside him. His thoughts swirled with memories of deep, dark waters and the fear that gripped him whenever he imagined stepping into the ocean. He tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths, but the anxiety refused to fade.
The next morning, they set off early, the sun just beginning to rise, casting a golden hue over the city. Samudra held Shamane's hand tightly as they walked towards the beach, the sound of waves growing louder with each step. “Are you sure we’re not going too early? Maybe we should wait until it’s a bit warmer,” he suggested, his voice tinged with hope.
Shamane squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It’s the perfect time, छोटा हाथी! The beach will be peaceful and beautiful in the early morning light.”
Samudra tried to focus on Shamane's excited chatter, but his mind kept drifting back to his fear. His heart pounded in his chest as they neared the shoreline, the familiar sound of waves growing louder with each step.
He tried to distract himself by looking at Shamane. His beautiful and kind-hearted husband. The man was wearing nothing on top but only some shorts, He sure is showing off his prosthetic. Samudra on the other hand, was wearing a white tank top. He doesn't understand how Shamane could be so brave to be shirtless in public - not that he's complaining.
When they finally reached the beach, Shamane spread out a blanket on the sand and began unpacking their things. Samudra stood at the edge of the blanket, his eyes fixed on the vast expanse of water. “Maybe we should stay closer to the shore,” he suggested, his voice wavering. “The waves look pretty strong today.”
Shamane, setting down the picnic basket, glanced at the water and then back at Samudra. “The waves are gentle today, love. But we can stay as close to the shore as you like.”
The gentle waves seemed to taunt him, reminding him of his fear. Despite Shamane's reassurances, the anxiety gnawed at him. He sat down on the blanket as he watched Shamane set up their spot. He couldn't help but admire the man.
He wasn't afraid of showing off his true self, lending a helping hand, or being.. useful, he was.. of course, the opposite of Samudra.
Samudra tends to hide most of himself. He rarely even spoke about his past to Shamane. Yes, he'd vent about the cruelness of his past lovers; but he never told the man about his fear. No matter how nice he was, Samudra was still fearful - of being seen as a weak man.
"Done!" Shamane exclaimed, causing Samudra to snap out of his thoughts. He gazed upon his husband who was excitingly punching the air.
"What do you think, wolf pup?" The shaman teased, nudging Samudra as he showed off his work - Samudra chuckled. How could a grown man be so excited for a simple work like this?
"I told you not to call me that in public, tresnoku.." The performer playfully scowled as he gave Shamane a light slap on the cheek. "Awhh!.. I thought you loved it.." Shamane whined, nuzzling his face into Samudra's neck, causing the shorter man to laugh.
Oh, how safe he felt in his arms.
As the day went on, Samudra would sit by the shore as he saw Shamane swimming and showing some tricks to Samudra. His favorite, however - would be how the man dipped his messy, long hair into the water, feeling it grow heavy as it soaked through. In one swift motion, Shamane threw his head back, sending a cascade of water droplets flying, his damp hair whipping behind him and slapping gently against his back.
His husband looked so - majestic. He couldn't understand how a handsome, kind soul; could love him this deeply. He considered himself lucky to be with Shamane.
"Haha! Come on love!" Shamane shouted, causing Samudra to freeze. As much as he loved Shamane, his fear of heavy and big bodies of water is. Unbearable. He took a deep breath as he tried to keep a soft smile on his face. "Coming!"
His toes felt the water as it slowly crept up to his ankles, then his knees, then his waist. He was trying his best to stay standing. The waves slowly pushed him back and forth. Shamane was deep in the ocean, and Samudra wasn't even close.
He began to shake a bit, he didn't feel safe. However, his thoughts were interrupted by Shamane's arms around his waist. "Hey.. मेरा प्यार.. are you alright?" He whispered.
Samudra couldn't react that well, he simply nodded. "Yes, I'm fine! But.. could you.. maybe hold onto me as we swim?" He requested, trying his best to look as calm as he could. Shamane was confused, but, he could never say no to his lover.
The taller man would have a grip on Samudra's waist with his prosthetic arm, before holding Samudra's hand with his other one. The water rises to Samudra's stomach, then his chest. He was panicking. But under Shamane's arms. He's safe.
He's safe.
He's. Safe.
Samudra closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. But he couldn't his mind flashes to his village. Torn apart and submerged in water. He couldn't stop thinking about it. His eyes widened as he jerked his body forward, causing Shamane to shake in concern.
"Samudra?!.." He shouted, Samudra jerked his head up. His eyes filled with unshed tears. "I-... Maaf.. (Sorry)" He murmured, gripping Shamane as he buried into the man's chest.
"Can.. Can we go back to shore?" He asked, softly. Hiding his tears by washing his face in the ocean's water. Shamane didn't say anything further and pulled them to the shore. They stayed near the water but, they didn't fully get into the ocean.
Samudra had fun, he did. But, he couldn't help but feel as if he was hiding this trauma from Shamane. He should've been more open to his husband.
He hates hiding his feelings.
Why must he hide his feelings?
Why is he so afraid?
Finally, the two would pack up and walk back home. Samudra was relieved that it was over, but, he couldn't get the feeling off of him. He needs to open up, he couldn't just, get away; especially from his own husband.
As the sun began to set, Samudra was about to climb onto the bed, only to see his Shamane, sleeping with nothing on. Oh, this man is unpredictable, he's probably having the time of his life sleeping naked with the love of his life, but that doesn't mean he would care less about his lover's well-being.
The Indonesian sighed as he slowly climbed onto the bed and lay next to his beloved. He felt a little, awkward. He's clothed, the other is not. But, oh well. He sighed and closed his eyes drifting off to sleep.
But of course, his thoughts never left him. He could see his father and brother drowning in the distance, as he was slowly being submerged in water. He couldn't feel his body. His eyes were forced to stare as the river water tore his village apart. He doesn't want to remember.
He doesn't want to remember.
He doesn't want to remember.
Samudra woke up with an excruciating head pain from one of his nightmares again. He shifted half-asleep. Although, he doesn't seem like he could get another sleep. Shamane's always alert about his surroundings even if he's sleeping, those years of being in the woods changed him. He woke up to Samudra's shifting and groaning.
"Are you.. Alright my love..?" Shamane asked with a yawn in between his sentences. Samudra adjusted his body to face Shamane, "Ah- Gak papa (It's alright), Mas... It's just-.." Samudra hesitated to answer further feeling bad about waking the big man up. Shamane only smiled and softly chuckled pulling Samudra closer to his chest and gathering him in his arms.
Samudra could feel Shamane's heart beating at this point, and it was beating just for him. "I haven't told this to you before." He murmured, causing Shamane to tilt his head in confusion.
"Shamane, dear... you see. That whole thing at the beach, I was. Afraid. I don't feel safe around big bodies of water.. especially with heavy waves. I-.. It's a long story but-"
Shamane's big calloused hand slowly caresses his husband's waist. Samudra shivered from the touch, letting out a soft whimper, as much as Samudra wanted to be quiet about it, seems like Shamane's sharp hearing could listen to it, music to his ears. "Shhh.. it's okay, my love" Shamane whispered right into Samudra's ear, he could feel his lover's warm breath against his ear.
"Just.. calm down, and listen to my voice," Shamane whispered, softly kissing Samudra's trembling body. His arms pulled him closer. Samudra gasped as he tried to calm himself down. He felt, a bit shy. Seeing the man in front of him naked while he is fully clothed.
"It's okay, you know you could open up to me, love." The man added, "What was holding you back?" He whispered, slowly reaching inside of Samudra's shirt, caressing the shorter man's soft skin.
Samudra hesitated to answer, "Well.." He started, unable to speak properly with the sudden affection. "I'm. scared.. you'd treat me the same.. as most people in my love.." He finally spoke, and it felt as if the weights on his shoulders had been lifted.
A soft hum left Shamane's lips. He buried his nose into the man's shoulder, kissing Samudra's shoulder blade. "Oh, Samu.. I love you no matter what." He said between kisses, "I love you for who you are. I will always love you and support you. I will help you get through everything you've been through.."
Those words filled Samudra's heart. It's been a while since he had heard someone say such lovely words with their heart. He pulled Shamane's head away from his shoulder before giving the man a passionate kiss.
A kiss filled with love, a kiss filled with comfort, a kiss filled with safety. Their tongues danced with each other as Samudra slowly leaned closer, prompting himself on Shamane's lap. He could feel the man's dick rubbing against his shorts.
Samudra pulled away, breathless. His eyes darting down to his pants and Shamane's dick. He slowly slid his pants down and boxers. Leaving him bare himself. He was shaking, panting heavily; but Shamane reassured him with a kiss on the cheek.
"I'll be gentle.." He murmured towards Samudra, grabbing a bottle of lube from the nightstand. Shamane poured the right amount on his right hand, before lowering his hands to finger Samudra's entrance.
Samudra yelped, covering his face in Shamane's neck. His moans were very noticeable. There was no point in hiding his voice. "P..Pushya.. ahnm.." He moaned, closing his eyes as he gripped Shamane's hair.
"I haven't even done anything major yet you're already a moaning mess, wolfpup..." Shamane teased, causing Samudra to grumble. He slowly pulled his finger out of Samudra's hole, letting out a satisfying pop.
After giving himself a few pumps, Shamane slowly aligns himself with Samudra's hole, causing Samudra to squirm with the feeling of Shamane's tip teasing his ass. Both men took a deep breath before Shamane would slowly insert his dick inside.
"P-Pushya..!-"
"Gatra..!"
The sound of their names being moaned from each other's lips was thrilling. Shamane would slowly lay Samudra down, his prosthetic arm holding Samudra in place as the other caresses the man's cheek. With a heavy breath, he'd thrust himself into the smaller man; keeping a slow, and steady pace. He doesn't want to hurt Samudra. He wanted to comfort his husband.
"Ahn... N-Ngentod... (Fuck)" Samudra moaned, he loves getting intimate with Shamane. The man has always treated him right. He always knows where are the good spots to reach and when to stop and go. "P-Pushya.."
Samudra's moans are driving Shamane insane. His lips grazed Samudra's neck, leaving small hickeys and bite marks as he continued to thrust into Samudra. Meanwhile, Samudra was gripping onto Shamane's hair, his hands even moving down to Shamane's back. His legs wrapped around Shamane's waist tightly.
"Push..sya.." Samudra moaned, looking up at Shamane with lust and love in his eyes. "I w-..would always... - Nghm.. - be grateful.. forever... l-loving you.." He said between his moans. His words caused Shamane's heart to squeeze with cuteness.
"You know I love you so, Gatra.." Shamane whispered, before focusing on his thrusts once more. "Would you... like for me to go.. faster?" He asked, panting slightly.
Samudra didn't hesitate to nod, letting Shamane pick up the speed. The smaller man was very much pounded into the bed. It was pleasurable, of course, he's always careful not to push Samudra too much.
At this moment, sex isn't about pleasure and having fun for their lust. No, it's about the connection of two lovers, the connection they've built over their relationship, and the trust they put into each other.
Shamane's pace began to increase slightly, trying his best not to go too hard for Samudra. The smaller man was already trembling under his touch. Samudra's moans and whimpers fill up the room as Shamane towers over him.
"I-.. I can't.." Samudra whimpered, feeling his climax reaching soon. Shamane however, was not close at all. He wanted both of them to feel the right amount of pleasure together. "Shh.. it's okay, just a bit more baby.. just.. just a bit more.."
The bigger man grunted as he felt his dick hitting Samudra's G-Spot. "AH- F-FUCK!" Samudra moaned from the top of his lungs, the pleasure surging through his body was too much. He was such a mess under the man's touch.
Shamane wasn't missing out either, his pace was getting quicker as he hit that sweet spot. His eyes closed as he focused on Samudra and Samudra only. "Right there.. ri..right there..." He softly moaned. His hands shook as he held onto Samudra.
"I-.. I'm cumming.." Shamane whispered, leaning closer to Samudra while the smaller man clung to him. Both of them closed their eyes, feeling the pleasure coursing through their bodies. Samudra was not even uttering a word, he was moaning out loud.
"C-cum... cumming...!-" Shamane warned and with a final thrust, he'd cum inside of Samudra's aching hole. Samudra released himself shortly after, his fluids coating his tank top.
Both men panted heavily as they melted into each other's embrace. As Shamane finally pulled out, his cum would shoot on top of Samudra, coating the man with his liquids all over his body - some even reached his face. The Indonesian looked up at his lover with tired and loving eyes. Chuckling and giving the man a soft smile.
"I-.. I love you.."
Shamane could feel his heart skipping a beat, the view of his husband under him filled and covered with his cum, and being all clingy warms his heart.
"I love you too.. so please.. open up more to me, okay? My dear?" He whispered, kissing Samudra's cheek as he caressed the smaller man's cum covered tank top.
"Yes.. yes I will, sayang.." Samudra murmured. With a soft sigh, he finally felt a lot more open towards his lover. Though he might have to tell the full story first.
"Now, help me clean up.." Samudra grumbled playfully.
"Hey! No need to be so whiny after having sex with your husband..!" Shamane chuckled, giving Samudra soft kisses all over his face. He clung onto the man before looking out the window.
The slightly-transparent curtians shining the bright moonlight inside the room and the stars shines through.
"Look at the stars.." Shamane spoke, causing Samudra to curiously look out the window.
"Look how they shine for you.."