Chapter Text
“Bye, Tae,” Jimin says as he steps away from Taehyung. “Let me know when you get home.”
Taehyung nods as he steps out into the dark alleyway. “Don’t stay for too long, it’s already pretty late.”
Jimin nods and gives him a smile. “I’ll just finish up with what I’m doing and then I’ll go.”
Taehyung squints his eyes at him.
“You better.”
Jimin laughs as Taehyung finally goes and he closes the door before locking it just for safety. It really is kind of late and Jimin won’t risk it.
The bakery’s lights are already off as he walks past the main hall and towards the back, where his office is. It’s already eleven and everything that wasn’t sold for the day has been put away already, but the place still smells sweet and cozy, the faint scent of coffee beans still hanging in the air. Jimin loves it. One would say that he’d be used to it after two years of owning the place and basically living here, but that’s not the case. He feels the same sort of excitement every time he experiences it. It just never gets old.
He pauses as he reaches his office, the faint sound of knocking catching his attention. His eyebrows furrow. Did Taehyung come back? It wouldn’t be the first time he forgets something and remembers just as he’s left. He goes back across the closed bakery and towards the back door.
“Tae?” He asks, unlocking it and opening the door. “Did you forget something again? I swear to God, you―”
He stops talking as soon as he realizes that Taehyung isn’t the person standing under the door frame. There are no lights coming from the alleyway and the bakery’s lights are already off, so for a split second, all he sees is a tall shadow just looming over him, making fear spike in his chest. But then his eyes adjust and the person tilts his head back just enough that he can see properly under the hood that’s covering their head.
It’s a very brief moment, maybe ten seconds, maybe even less. But it feels like it lasts forever as Jimin realizes who it is that’s standing in front of him right now.
He still very much remembers the bambi eyes that belonged to Jeon Jeongguk. The eagerness in his expression and the way he always had so much to say to Jimin, even if he was very shy at first. The last time Jimin saw him, Jeongguk was eighteen years old, two years younger than him. And it’s been over five years. So much time has gone by and even though there are many things that look different in Jeongguk, Jimin can see the eighteen-year-old boy that he last spoke to so long ago.
An ache settles in his heart, the surprise of seeing Jeongguk like this so sudden. He can’t even speak, only stare.
Jeongguk is hunched over slightly and his hand settles on his left side, over his ribs.
“Jeongguk, what―” he tries, but then he notices Jeongguk’s slightly purple lips, the trembling of his body, all of him drenched in rain. “Oh my God, come in,” he quickly rushes, reaching forward and tugging at Jeongguk’s arm. Jeongguk groans and stumbles forward, his knees seeming weak. “What the fuck is going on? Are you okay? Why on earth are you walking around without an umbrella in this heavy rain? You’re gonna get a cold. I cannot believe you. Let me just―”
He stops mid-sentence, freezing cold fingers suddenly wrapping around his wrist. It’s startling, that despite the coldness of Jeongguk’s touch, Jimin remembers the warmth it always gave him. It’s shaky, a bit urgent, his grip tight.
“Hyung,” he exhales, voice hoarse. “I’m sorry.”
His knees give in and he nearly falls over. Jimin wraps his arms around his waist in a hurry, startled when Jeongguk grunts and flinches.
“Are you hurt?” He asks, feeling a bit breathless, Jeongguk’s words floating in his head. He’s sorry. He’s sorry. Why is he sorry? Because he left? Without a single word of explanation? The memory of it makes Jimin’s eyes fill with tears, but he pushes them away and is glad the bakery’s lights are off so Jeongguk can’t see them. “What’s going on, Jeongguk? If you don’t tell me, I don’t know what to do. I need―”
“There’s a phone in my back pocket,” he exhales, his breath brushing against Jimin’s ear. The warmth of it is so startling in comparison to the coldness of his body. “Passcode is thirteen ten. Call Yoongi.”
That’s it. That’s all he says. His body gives in completely and Jimin barely manages to support his weight until he’s on the ground. He’s all slippery, covered in water completely. He doesn’t move for a long moment, Jeongguk leaning against him in a terrible position, his body mostly on the ground. It’s a struggle to get him onto his back, but Jimin manages. He’s glad he enjoys going to the gym often, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to carry the pounds of muscle that Jeongguk seems to have gained over the past five years.
He has no idea what’s going on, why he’s passed out. He places his hand on the spot where Jeongguk had been touching before and when he pulls it back, he finds that mixed with all the water, there’s a pink color. It’s quickly spreading out on the floor. Pink. Pink. Scarlet red. Blood. Jimin’s heart rate picks up, his hands start shaking. He tugs at Jeongguk’s hoodie, lifting it to find that there’s blood everywhere .
It sends Jimin into a whirlwind of emotions, panic making everything spin. He reaches for Jeongguk’s back pocket, struggles terribly to take out the phone that he has there. But he finally manages to get it out and opens it. He sighs in relief when he notices it’s still working and messily dries his hands against his pants before typing on the screen. Droplets of water get on the screen anyway and it takes him far too long to find Yoongi’s contact, so by the time he’s actually calling, he feels like he’s lost too much time and Jeongguk has probably lost too much blood.
Has he really seen Jeongguk again after over five years and is about to lose him all over again? This time permanently. It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. How can that be?
“Jeongguk,” he murmurs, shaking him softly. He places his hand on top of the wound, realizing he should be trying to make it so no more blood comes out. He’s taken a class or two on first aid, but there’s no possible way for him to actually know what to do in a situation like this one. He doesn’t even know how Jeongguk got hurt.
“ Jeongguk! ” A voice startles him. It takes him a split second to realize the voice is coming front he other line. “ Where the fuck are you? Give me your location so I can go pick you up. We need to get as far away as― ”
“I’m not―” Jimin interrupts, voice shaky. He clears his throat and tries to calm down enough that he can actually respond. “I’m not Jeongguk. He’s hurt, I don’t know―” he stops himself, finding it too hard to breathe.
He’s letting panic take over him. Who is this Yoongi? If Jeongguk told him to call him, it must be someone he trusts, right? It must be someone who can help.
“ What’s your name? ” Yoongi asks after a very long moment of silence.
Jimin closes his eyes and wills himself to calm down before responding.
“Jimin.”
A small sigh of relief is heard on the other line. And then Yoongi starts talking again, this time rushed and instructive.
“ Okay, Jimin, ” he starts. “ Is he conscious? Where is he hurt? Can you see the wound? ”
Jimin’s shaky fingers lift from where he had put them onto Jeongguk’s skin. He can’t really see anything, all that’s there to see is blood.
“He passed out,” he mumbles. “I think―it seems like it’s a bit under his right ribcage. There’s―oh my God, there’s so much blood.”
“ Listen to me, Jimin, ” Yoongi says immediately. “ You’re panicking. Take a deep breath for me, okay? I can’t do much, but I can help you keep him alive until we get there. ” Jimin doesn’t bother even asking who ‘we’ is. His worries are all focused on Jeongguk. “ So, what I need you to do right now is to identify wether the wound was caused by a bullet or a knife, okay? ” Jimin’s heart drops. Maybe his pressure drops. He’s not sure. All he knows is that he feels breathless all of a sudden and everything spins. He pulls his hand away from Jeongguk’s side and releases a shaky breath. “ I know this is something you were probably never expecting to have to do in your life, but I need you to try to focus, Jimin. If you don’t, Jeongguk is going to die before we can get there. ”
Jimin nods, even though Yoongi can’t see him. He pulls the phone away from his ear and shakily presses the speaker button.
“Okay,” he murmurs. “How do I know if it’s a knife or bullet wound?”
“ Can you turn him a bit so that you can see his back? ” Yoongi asks. “ First check if there’s a bullet exit wound. ”
Jimin lifts Jeongguk’s shirt up further and tries his best to lift Jeongguk up. The skin of his back isn’t covered in blood like his front and when Jimin finds it too difficult to look if there’s any other wounds there, he places his hand on his skin and searches for it with his fingers. Nothing seems out of place.
“I don’t think he has one. There’s not much blood there and I searched for a wound with my fingers,” he says out loud.
“ Good, then lets confirm it’s a stab wound, ” Yoongi replies. “ I know you said there’s a lot of blood, but try to see the shape of the wound on his front. It should look―yes, tell him we’ll be calling him in fifteen to twenty minutes, to keep his phone on him, ” he interrupts himself, seemingly talking to someone else. Jimin focuses on his task at hand, trying to figure out where all the blood is coming from. It takes him a while and in the meantime, he hears Yoongi still talking to someone else in the background. “ I don’t fucking know why, I lost sight of him when we split up. Yes, I fucking know. ” There’s the rustling of fabric and then Yoongi’s voice is once more directed at him. “ Did you manage to find the wound, Jimin? ”
It’s in that moment that Jimin finds it. It’s slit-like wound, so small it seems impossible that so much blood is coming out of it.
“It’s very small,” he murmurs. “It looks like a cut.”
“ Okay, good ,” Yoongi exhales, sounding relieved. “ It means it’s a knife wound. But it could have pierced an important organ. We won’t know for sure how dangerous the situation is until the medic sees him. Keep pressure on the wound so he doesn’t keep losing too much blood. ” There’s another rustling sound and then Yoongi says something that Jimin doesn’t catch, possibly not directed towards him. “ We’re on our way. We’ll be there in ten. We’ll knock three times, then two, then four. Don’t open the door for anyone else. ”
“But how do you―” he’s in the middle of asking before the line goes dead. He stares at the now silent phone, almost expecting Yoongi to speak up again. But he doesn’t. And Jimin is left wondering how he knows where Jeongguk is. Of course, there’s also the fact that Jeongguk knew where he was working. How? What on earth is going on?
He swallows down the lump in his throat and places both his hands on top of Jeongguk’s wound, applying pressure. It’s then, when he’s fully focused on Jeongguk again, that he realizes the numbers in Jeongguk’s passcode. Thirteen ten. His birthday. He stares at Jeongguk in disbelief, confused, hurt, so many emotions swirling in his chest. He pushes them all away. Right now, all he can focus on is making sure Jeongguk stays alive until his friend Yoongi gets here to pick them up.
The thought alone is nerve-wracking. He has to make sure Jeongguk stays alive .
“Jeongguk,” he whispers, shaking him softly with one of his hands. Jeongguk doesn’t move. The hood is still around his face, but it’s fallen back a bit and so more of his features are exposed. He’s pale and doesn’t look well at all, yet Jimin can see that his beautiful factions are still there. Seeing him again so suddenly brings back memories that he’s long ago hidden deep in his heart. “Jeongguk-ah,” he murmurs, shaking him a bit harder this time, hoping Jeongguk will open his eyes. He leans forward, watching his chest carefully. He looks so pale that Jimin starts to think that maybe he’s not actually breathing. But once he catches sight of the slow movement of his chest, he relaxes a bit and takes a deep breath.
He doesn’t try waking him up again. He just focuses on watching his chest rise and fall to the pace of his breathing and keeps pressure on his wound for what feels like a lifetime. Until he hears the knocking. The bakery is fully silent, so he hears loud and clear the pattern that Yoongi mentioned. It feels wrong to leave Jeongguk like this, but he has to let them in if he wants Jeongguk to be okay. He stands up in a hurry, rushing across the bakery towards the back door.
As soon as he opens it, he’s met with two new figures, both dressed similarly to how Jeongguk was, their hoods covering good portions of their faces. They take them off as they step forward and Jimin stumbles back, frightened, startled. Too much is happening and he doesn’t know what to make of it.
“Jimin, I’m Yoongi,” one of them says. “This is Seokjin,” he adds, gesturing to the man beside him. “Where is he?” Jimin swallows down the lump in his throat and quickly closes the door before rushing back to where Jeongguk is. “He hasn’t woken up?”
“No,” he replies quickly. “I tried to wake him up, but he just―” he shakes his head and closes his hands in fists. He’s starting to feel panic rise up his chest again.
“It’s okay, Jimin,” Yoongi reassures. “Try to stay calm for another moment. I know this is difficult, but we need you to help us get him to the van.” Jimin nods, even though he doesn’t feel the slightest bit calm. “Okay, grab your things quickly. We need to leave as fast as possible.”
Jimin nods, his body acting on instinct, mostly. He rushes to his office, grabbing his phone and keys in a hurry. His hands are covered in blood and he leaves lots of it behind, but he pays it no mind. He doesn’t have the time to worry about that right now. He’s back outside in less than a minute, breathless.
“Help us open the door and make sure to lock it all up when we’re out. We’ll come back tomorrow to clean everything and make sure there’s no evidence left behind,” Seokjin says, bending down to grab onto Jeongguk.
Jimin has half a mind to think about what that even means. He doesn’t have the time to worry about that either, though. He’s acting like a robot, just moving the way he’s expected to. Yoongi and Seokjin lift Jeongguk up by the arms and legs, both grunting at the weight of him. He’s gotten so big and buff, Jimin still can’t believe this is the Jeongguk he used to know.
He moves in front of them and opens the door for them as they step out.
“Open the back doors please,” Yoongi exhales as they walk out into the dark alleyway.
Jimin rushes forward, opening up the doors and watches as they quickly place Jeongguk inside with a big struggle. When they’re done, Yoongi turns to look at him from inside the van.
“Lock up, we have to leave.”
Jimin snaps out of it and nods, quickly heading back to the door to close it and lock up. The front was already locked up earlier, so he doesn’t need to worry about that.
“Jeongguk is not gonna like this,” he hears Seokjin say.
“He’s the one that came looking for Jimin in the first place,” Yoongi replies, voice hushed. “Do you think he’ll be happier knowing we left Jimin here to clean up after all the blood he spilled on his bakery floor?” Seokjin grunts and says something that Jimin doesn’t really catch and they both fall quiet as Jimin approaches the open doors. “Let’s go,” Yoongi states, gesturing for Jimin to get in.
Jimin takes the hand that he’s offering and is hoisted up into the van. Seokjin gets off and closes the doors from the outside. Then he gets into the front seat and it’s a few seconds and the van is turned on, the engine roaring. They’re moving within another second and Jimin drops down against one of the sides of the van, lifting his shaky hands in front of himself and staring at the blood stains. It’s mostly dried now, sticking to his skin in a way he can’t even understand. He’s never seen blood. Not like this. Not so much of it. Not―
“Jimin,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts his inner turmoil. He’s crouched down in front of him and his expression is very serious as he speaks now that he has Jimin’s attention. “I know this is a lot and I know this must be very shocking for you. But I promise Jeongguk will explain everything to you once he’s better, okay? For now, all you have to think about is that he’ll be okay.”
He’s not sure he can manage to keep it together until that happens, though. His heart has been beating like crazy for so long, it doesn’t feel as if he’s breathing properly and he’s shaking so bad, he’s not sure he can keep the tremors at bay.
And since talking about it isn’t something he’s ready to do, he deflects and asks something else instead.
“Where are we taking him?” He asks. “There’s a hospital just five minutes from here, if you turn―”
“We’re not going to the hospital,” Seokjin interrupts.
“What do you mean we’re not going to the hospital?” Jimin quickly asks. “He needs to be seen by a doctor. He needs to be treated. He has to―”
“We can’t take him to the hospital,” Yoongi interrupts this time. “It would arise too many questions. We have a medic, don’t worry.”
But Jimin is worried. How could he not be? This is crazy. Jeongguk needs to go to the doctor. He needs to be seen and treated. Jimin’s eyes move to Jeongguk’s body, limp on the ground of the van. He’s yet to move. He’s still unconscious. Jimin’s heart hurts. He pulls his knees to his chest and drops his face to them, wrapping his arms around himself as if that will make this moment disappear.
He faintly hears Yoongi talking in the background, hears him moving around. He can’t even find it within himself to lift his head. He doesn’t want to see. He wants to pretend none of this is happening. He disconnects for a long moment and snaps out of it when someone shakes him. He lifts his head, startled and finds Yoongi crouching in front of him again.
“Where do you live, Jimin?” He asks. “We don’t have any safe places to go to right now and we need to make sure we stay somewhere nobody can find us,” he explains.
Jimin stares at him for a very long moment, contemplating wether it’s a good idea to offer up his home for this situation. It’s clearly something dangerous, something he’d surely not want to be a part of. And yet, Jeongguk needs to be seen and they seem to need a safe place for that to happen. And Jimin has only ever worried about Jeongguk’s wellbeing. Saying no is not an option.
He tells Yoongi his address and Yoongi murmurs a quick thank you before he moves towards the front seats, closer to Seokjin. They speak in hushed tones, the van rushing through the dark streets. It’s late. Jimin can’t see much, but the streets are empty. He wonders how long it’s been. It feels like so much time has gone by, but it probably hasn’t been that much.
He’s grateful he lives close by to his bakery. They make it to his small house quickly and the van is stopped suddenly.
“Jimin.” Yoongi calls out. Jimin lets his eyes meet his. “I just thought you should know…I’m gonna try to wake Jeongguk up now and he’s probably gonna be in a lot of pain. So…yeah.”
Oh. Jimin’s eyes move to Jeongguk’s limp body. He watches as Yoongi approaches him and crouches down beside him. He tries shaking Jeongguk, but Jeongguk doesn’t budge. His chest is still rising and falling, that much Jimin can see from where he’s sitting. His expression is so calm, one wouldn’t imagine he has a stab wound on his side.
“Jeongguk.” Yoongi calls out, shaking him harder now. He taps on his cheek softly at first and then a bit harder. Jeongguk doesn’t budge. Yoongi curses and then he applies pressure on Jeongguk’s collarbone. It’s instantaneous. Jeongguk’s eyes snap open and he grunts, hand shooting up in a quick movement. Yoongi’s fingers wrap around his wrist and stop him instantly. “We have to move and I need your help. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch, but there’s nothing we can do about that, okay?”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, confusion painting his features. It lasts very little. Realization seems to dawn on him not that much later and he tries to sit up, a loud whine leaving his lips as he drops down again with a whimper.
“Jimin,” he croaks out. “Jimin was―”
“He’s here,” Yoongi interrupts. “He’s helping us get you inside.”
Jeongguk lifts his head, wincing, but he doesn’t drop it until his eyes meet Jimin’s. He stares at him for a long moment and then finally lets his head fall, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Am I dreaming, hyung?” He asks, soft and gentle and Jimin’s heart aches all over again.
“Nope,” Yoongi replies. “So don’t say something you’ll regret.” He reaches under Jeongguk’s shoulders. “I’m sitting you up.”
That’s all the warning he gives Jeongguk before he lifts him up. Hearing Jeongguk cry out in pain makes Jimin want to cover his ears with his hands and close his eyes so he can pretend the world has stopped existing. Instead, he stands up to help Yoongi because it’s clear that he needs it to get Jeongguk off the van.
Seokjin opens the door for them and through cries of pain and grunts, they get Jeongguk off the van, his arms over both his and Yoongi’s shoulders. Seokjin closes the door and gestures towards the van.
“I’m gonna hide this somewhere close by,” he announces. “We need it around in case we have to run.”
“Don’t take too long,” Yoongi says. “Namjoon will be here any minute.” Seokjin gives him a tight nod and gets back into the van. He’s off before Jimin can process what’s happening. Namjoon must be the medic, the person who will treat Jeongguk. He can’t even open his mouth to ask. Everything is just happening so quickly. “Have your key ready. We need to lay him down somewhere wide enough that Namjoon will be able to look over him properly.”
“My bed,” he murmurs. It’s the only place he can think of right now that will be big enough for Jeongguk to fit comfortably.
“Okay, yeah,” Yoongi says.
It’s a struggle to get Jeongguk inside the house and even more so to get him to his bedroom, but after what feels like a very long time, they finally manage to settle him down on the bed. The whole walk was painful enough on Jimin’s heart, Jeongguk’s grunts and whimpers are too much for him. He always worried far too much about Jeongguk’s wellbeing and it’s startling to discover that, after all this time, he can’t help that he still worries far too much.
Jeongguk has already passed out again, the blood loss too much on his body. It’s surreal to see him on his bed, laying there, so close, but so far away. What has happened in all these years? How did Jeongguk end up like this?
“Namjoon is here, I’m gonna let him in.”
Yoongi disappears from the room before Jimin has though of a response. He stands beside the bed, staring down at Jeongguk’s sleeping form. Wet curls are falling over his forehead and Jimin can’t help that he reaches out to card his fingers through them, pushing them back. Jeongguk’s eyes flutter open and Jimin freezes, caught mid act. But all Jeongguk does is stare at him, the bambi eyes still there, making Jimin’s heart flutter. He’s looking at him the same way he always did, eyes wide and curious and full of emotions that were hard to identify most of the time.
Footsteps snap Jimin back to the present and he looks away, even though he feels Jeongguk’s eyes following him as he steps away from the bed to make sure there’s enough space for the medic to check on him.
He’s greeted by a tall man, dressed very similarly to Yoongi, Seokjin and Jeongguk. Jimin says hello, but he’s a bit lost in thought now. The possibility of Jeongguk dying is so real right now, he can’t think straight. He can’t keep his heart calm. He steps back, feeling breathless. Yoongi’s hand falls to his shoulder and startles him.
“You should clean up and settle down,” he says, gentle. “It’s gonna take a while for Namjoon to finish patching Jeongguk up, so…yeah. Try to rest up and calm down.”
Jimin nods, albeit distracted. He leaves the room as soon as he hears Jeongguk’s first grunt of pain and doesn’t stop walking until he’s locked up in the hallway bathroom. He got clothes and a towel on the way to shower. It’s a process he’s barely conscious of. The water falling down his body, washing away the blood. It all goes by in a blur and soon enough he finds himself sitting on the toilet lit, head hanging in between his shoulder blades while his mind wanders to so many different places, all of them entirely filled up with Jeongguk.
⧫⧫⧫⧫⧫
Jimin must have fallen asleep. He’s in the guest room, the lights are off and it seems that it’s still night time. He reaches for his phone and squints his eyes when the screen lights up. It’s three in the morning. He’s not even sure how long he’s slept. After Jeongguk knocked on the bakery’s back door so suddenly, Jimin didn’t get a chance to check the time again. And so much has happened, it feels like it’s been days.
He hears faint voices coming from the living room and sits up slowly, still feeling a bit dazed. Once he’s seated, though, he remembers that Jeongguk was being looked over by the medic when he left to take a shower. He’d laid down just for a moment, just to relax for a split second. And he somehow fell asleep. He gets up in a hurry, rushing to the living room to ask for Jeongguk.
Their voices become stronger as he heads down the hallway and even though he knows he shouldn’t, he can’t help that he pauses as he reaches the end. It’s the mention of his name that makes him stop.
“So, you thought the best idea was to go to Jimin’s bakery?” Yoongi asks. “When I got his call, I thought I was hallucinating.”
He hears a deep sigh, followed by a gentle voice, one that he’s missed a lot. He doesn’t sound as unstable as he did before and Jimin closes his eyes, allows himself to believe that nothing ever happened and that they stayed in touch all this time.
“I thought I was gonna die, hyung,” Jeongguk says. “And I had nowhere else to go. I had to talk to him one last time.”
Jimin’s heart jumps. Jeongguk’s words are soft and shaky and the fact that he thought he would die is enough for Jimin’s heart to ache. If that had happened, he’s not sure how he would have ever been able to move on from it.
“Yeah, well,” Seokjin starts. “I think all you did was scare him shitless.”
Oh, Jimin was scared. But he was scared because he thought Jeongguk was going to die. Perhaps he should be more worried about the fact that these three men are in his home right now, the three of them part of something dangerous, most probably. And yet, all Jimin can think about is the fact that Jeongguk is awake and alive and that he’s safe. He steps forward, deciding he shouldn’t continue to eavesdrop. And when he steps into the living room, he’s met with a sort of surreal sight.
Yoongi and Seokjin are both sitting on the couch side by side. And then there’s Jeongguk sitting on the other couch, right in front of them. He’s shirtless, not a trace of blood on his skin, though there’s a bandage wrapped around his waist, all the way up to his ribcage, crossed over his shoulder for support. And, of course, there are so many tattoos covering his right arm, part of his chest, swirling towards the back. He didn’t have tattoos the last time Jimin saw him. Jeongguk’s eyes move to Jimin as soon as he steps into the living room and Jimin is left breathless almost instantly upon having Jeongguk’s eyes meet his.
He’s not sure he had anything he wanted to say, but words just don’t form in his mind for a long moment and he ends up giving up. He needs another moment. He needs to breathe properly. He turns and heads into the kitchen without sparing either of them another glance.
Jimin places his hands on the counter top and lets his head hang between his shoulders for a moment, eyes closed and thoughts running wild. He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear anyone come into the kitchen until a gentle touch falls to his shoulder. It’s startling enough that he jumps, turning and staring wide eyed at the person standing a few steps away from him.
Seeing Jeongguk up close is a lot more difficult than Jimin thought it would be. He’s so different, yet so similar to the boy he used to be. How is this his Jeongguk? How did things turn out this way? It just doesn’t make any sense. How could such a gentle and calm being end up in a world where his life was at risk?
“I’m sorry for startling you, hyung,” Jeongguk murmurs, offering him a small smile. “Actually, I’m sorry for all of this. For everything. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I just―” he pauses, looking away, seeming slightly embarrassed. “I wanted you to know that I was sorry.”
Jimin takes a deep breath, hoping to calm himself before responding. He doesn’t want to say anything hurtful or that he’ll regret. But it’s useless. So many questions are bubbling up in his head, he can’t keep them at bay.
“For leaving?” He asks. “Five fucking years ago, Jeongguk? I just want to know why you decided tonight was the right moment to come back. After leaving me so long ago, you come back basically dying and tell me your sorry and then pass out in my arms. How―” he tries, but shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes. “How do you expect me to feel right now? How can I even―”
He stops, dropping his face into his hands. The ache in his heart has been growing ever since he turned to find Jeongguk standing beside him. He’s not doing any better breathing properly and everything is spinning. He can’t keep the tears in. Perhaps emotions are finally catching up on him and the reality of what could have happened earlier is sinking in. He just can’t control himself. He’s shaking, crumbling down, going crazy.
And then there’s warmth. There’s Jeongguk’s arms wrapping around him, his warm face burrowing in his neck and Jimin can finally breathe again. It feels as if he hasn’t been breathing at all over the past five years. It feels as if everything has been wrong all this time that Jeongguk wasn’t around and now it’s better, it’s good. It’s the way it was supposed to be. He cries silently against Jeongguk’s collarbone, his hands slipping between them as he wraps his arms around his waist. He’s warm and firm and so familiar. Jimin knows that there are many things that they need to talk about first, but he can’t find it within himself to move away from Jeongguk. Not when he’s needed this, when he’s missed it so much.
“I’m really sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk whispers, his breath brushing along Jimin’s neck, making warmth spread from his chest to his belly. “About everything. I’ve missed you a lot,” he confesses. “You’re all I can think about half the time. You were everything to me―you still are. I’m really so sorry.”
Jimin leans back a little bit, searching for Jeongguk’s eyes. But Jeongguk looks away, an embarrassed expression taking over his face. Jimin reaches up and cups his cheek, gently coaxing him to look his way. Even though he’s not fully crying, there are silent tears in his eyes and his cheeks have turned a slight shade of pink. He holds Jimin’s gaze, as if wanting to show him that he’s not lying, that he’s telling him the truth.
“You were everything to me too, Jeongguk,” Jimin whispers. “I’m just so confused. You disappear and then you come back almost dying. I don’t understand what’s happening.”
Jeongguk nods, his hands settling on Jimin’s biceps and squeezing gently. “I know,” he responds. “I know this is all very confusing. I just―I had nowhere else to go. I didn’t have anybody else I knew I could trust. There was just you and you where close by. I shouldn’t have brought you into this and you don’t have to worry. We’ll be out of here soon, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Jimin steps back, wrapping his arms around himself. Jeongguk’s hands drop, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.
“You’re leaving again?” He asks. “After all of this, you’re just gonna disappear again.”
Jeongguk’s expression softens. “Hyung,” he pleads. He says it in that same way he used to when they were younger, in that way that he knew made Jimin’s heart soften and give in to whatever he wanted. “Being here is enough for you to be in danger. If they find out you have any sort of connection to me, they’ll come looking for you. They’ll hurt you. I can’t let that happen.”
“Then, why the fuck did you come back, huh?” He asks. “So, what? I’m supposed to let you go again? Never see you again? Do you think that’s fair? I can’t fucking believe you.”
He turns around and heads towards the kitchen exit, but hands reach out of him and stop him.
“Hyung, please understand,” Jeongguk pleads, his hands on Jimin’s biceps again. “It’s too dangerous, I don’t―” he stops and suddenly drops his forehead to Jimin’s. He’s suddenly so close that Jimin can’t breathe. He doesn’t remember these feelings being so intense. He would have never expected them to remain even after all this time. “I don’t know what to do,” Jeongguk murmurs.
He says it so softly and his voice sounds so vulnerable, Jimin’s heart aches. He reaches up and wraps his fingers around Jeongguk’s wrists, squeezing them gently. Despite the fact that Jeongguk is twenty three now and very possibly involved in something dangerous, he sounds like eighteen-year-old Jeongguk right now, unsure and worried and vulnerable.
“Don’t leave me again,” Jimin pleads. “Anything but that.” Jeongguk’s eyes open and when they meet Jimin’s, a million emotions go through them. Jimin stares at him, unable to pull his eyes away. “Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Believe me, hyung. You can’t.”
“Well,” Jimin starts quickly. “Tell me anyway. I want to know. It’s been five years, Jeongguk. I think you owe me that, at least.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth immediately, probably ready to say no.
“Jeongguk, we have to―” someone starts saying suddenly and even though the voice stops abruptly, both Jeongguk and Jimin startle, jumping away from each other.
Jimin’s heart is beating like crazy as his eyes move to Yoongi, standing in the doorway, his eyes moving from Jeongguk to him and then back to Jeongguk.
“What is it, hyung?” Jeongguk asks. His voice doesn’t hold the same sort of softness it had before and Jimin fools himself into believing that Jeongguk’s gentle way of talking is only ever directed towards him.
“I talked to Hobi,” Yoongi says, not commenting on what he walked into. “He says the other gang already spread out. They’re still looking for us. We should get moving. But Namjoon said you should rest for a few days. If you don’t, the wound could open up and you could get worse.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I’ll be fine. Where are we going? Do you have a place in mind?”
“Well, I―” Yoongi starts to reply, but Jimin interrupts him this time.
“You’re not leaving,” he states. “You have some explaining to do. And you’re injured.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. He closes it again, staring at Jimin for a long moment, as if surprised that he’s said that. Jimin keeps his gaze, daring him to say no. Finally, Jeongguk looks away from him and towards Yoongi again.
“How many days do I have to rest?” He asks.
“At least three,” Yoongi replies. “After that, you should be good to go, though you still have to be careful not to strain yourself.”
Jeongguk nods. “Pick me up in three days. We’ll meet up a couple of blocks from Jimin’s bakery. I don’t want anyone seeing me come out of here.”
“Okay,” Yoongi agrees. “I’ll get a new burner phone and call Jimin once a day to inform you on everything.”
“Sounds good,” Jeongguk responds. “Let me say goodbye to Jin hyung, too.”
Jeongguk looks back at him for a moment, but it’s very brief. He leaves the kitchen a moment later and Jimin is left with Yoongi. Jimin glances at him and finds him watching him.
“He had good reason for disappearing,” he says. “I’m not trying to justify his actions, but…just listen to him.”
Jimin nods. Despite the fact that the three of them seem to be involved with some shady business, Jimin isn’t afraid of them in any way. Both Yoongi and Seokjin obviously care about Jeongguk and that’s enough for Jimin to feel okay with their presence here right now. They’ll be leaving soon, anyway. And Jimin will be left alone with Jeongguk.
The thought makes his heart beat faster. It makes his skin warm. He shifts on his feet and Yoongi gives him a tight nod.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Jimin,” Yoongi states, stepping back. “Thank you for…yeah. Thank you.”
Jimin doesn’t get a chance to reply to him before he’s gone. He follows suit, though and makes his way back into the living room, where Seokjin and Jeongguk are sharing a tight hug.
“We’ll see you in three days,” Seokjin says, as they part away.
His eyes move to Jimin and he gives him a tight smile.
“Thank you for your help Jimin.”
Jimin nods. “Thank you for caring for Jeongguk.”
Yoongi smiles widely and ruffles Jeongguk’s hair, earning himself a groan.
“We care about this brat far too much.”
He and Jeongguk hug too and share hushed words that Jimin doesn’t catch. The rest of the moment goes by in a blur too. He says goodbye and watches both Yoongi and Seokjin leave. Then, there’s just silence for a long moment. Jeongguk is standing in the same place he was before, still facing the door through which his friends just left.
Jimin suddenly feels bad, as if he’s asked something of him that he shouldn’t have, that he had no right to ask. But did he? He and Jeongguk were best friends for years. Jeongguk was everything for Jimin. And then he was gone. He owes Jimin answers, doesn’t he?
When Jeongguk turns and faces him, Jimin startles a bit. There’s something different about being all alone with Jeongguk now. The way Jeongguk looks at him makes his heart go crazy. Jeongguk seems to sense something else, though.
“You know I would never hurt you, right hyung?” He asks. “Please don’t be scared of me. I’m―”
“I’m not,” Jimin interrupts, shaking his head vehemently. “It’s just―I’m not scared of you. I trust you, even though I haven’t seen you in years. It’s just that you’ve changed a lot,” he explains. “And you’re standing in my living room after such a long time without even a text from you. It’s a bit surreal.”
Jeongguk’s expression relaxes and he nods softly, as if understanding Jimin’s inner turmoil. Now, don’t get Jimin wrong. The fact that Jeongguk is here after such a long time does have him a bit antsy. But it’s not just that. It’s also all the other emotions that have quickly started to build in his heart. Things he thought he’d long forgotten. Things he doesn’t want to accept. Because, what good would it do to accept them considering that Jeongguk will be gone again in three days? It doesn’t seem like he’s planning on staying around and honestly, the idea of him leaving again is also making Jimin’s heart ache. Because eventually, much like he feared, Jeongguk will be going with Yoongi and Seokjin and will probably never come back.
“I also kind of can’t believe you’re real, hyung,” Jeongguk confesses. “I thought I’d never be able to see you again.”
Jimin lets his eyes wander down Jeongguk’s body and notices that he’s still wearing the same pants he had on when he first stepped into the bakery. Because his hair was damp, he assumed Jeongguk might have showered, but it’s probably that way because of the rain.
“You should shower,” he murmurs, clearing his throat. “I’ll get you something to change into. I’m sure something should fit.”
“That’s okay, hyung. I’ll―”
“You’ll be staying here for three days, you might as well get comfortable, no?” He asks, interrupting him.
Jeongguk closes his mouth, seemingly realizing that saying no to Jimin is not something he’s allowed to do at the moment. So, he nods and starts following Jimin as he guides him down the hallway to his bedroom. Jeongguk could use the other bathroom, but Jimin would prefer for him to be closer to the bed so he can lay down as soon as he’s done and rest the way he’s meant to. Jeongguk doesn’t say no to anything else while Jimin instructs him where everything is and tells him he’ll leave clothes for him on the toilet lid. He asks him to be careful while showering so as to not get the bandage wet and leaves him be.
After leaving everything for Jeongguk to reach easily, he closes the door and takes a seat on the end of the bed, staring towards the bathroom door. He cards his fingers through his hair and releases a shaky breath.
Growing up, Jimin learned that Jeongguk was a constant in his life that would be there forever. Someone he could always turn to. Someone who would always help him, no matter what. And throughout the final months of them being together, a while after Jeongguk turned eighteen, Jimin started to question if his feelings for him were different to what they were meant to be. They were best friends, had grown up together, had done everything together. Jimin pretended those feelings weren’t there most of the time, until Jeongguk was suddenly gone and everything came crumbling down around him. Now there’s Jeongguk using his shower and looking so different yet so similar to the boy Jimin used to feel so much for. And Jimin’s feelings are still very much there, even after so many years.
Jimin startles when the bathroom door suddenly opens, faster than he would have expected it to. Jeongguk comes out, toweling his hair, no longer shirtless, but the short sleeved shirt allows his tattoos to be seen still and Jimin spends a moment too long staring at them before he manages to pull his gaze away. When Jeongguk drops his hand and lifts his head, there are curls falling over his forehead and framing his face. He has his hair much longer than he ever did back when they were younger and Jimin would be lying if he said it doesn’t look good on him.
For a long moment, all they do is stare at each other. Jeongguk’s expression holds so many emotions that Jimin can’t identify. He steps forward and starts moving towards Jimin. He does it slowly, as if worried he might startle him in some way. But Jimin remains unmoving, too mesmerized by Jeongguk’s approaching form. The clothes Jimin leant him fit him well, but it’s strange seeing him dressed in his clothes. They used to share clothes a lot when they were younger, after all.
When Jeongguk is standing directly in front of him, Jimin has to tilt his head back to see him properly. He’s so close that Jimin has to lean back a little bit. Jeongguk gently places the towel on the bed, beside Jimin and suddenly moves onto his knees.
“Jeongguk, what―” he starts asking, but cuts himself off when Jeongguk slides closer and settles in between his legs, burrowing his face in Jimin’s belly.
His arms wrap tightly around him, a desperate grip that has Jimin moving his hands on instinct. This isn’t the first time Jeongguk has done this. Back then, he’d do this all the time when he needed comfort or when he was apologizing for something. So, Jimin’s body moves on it’s own. His hand slips into Jeongguk’s damp hair and the other one settles in between his shoulder blades, rubbing comfortingly.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” he whispers, muffled against Jimin’s shirt. “I’m so sorry, I promise I am. Do you think it was easy for me? Do you think I wanted to leave? Being away from you hurt so bad. Being here now hurts just as much. Because how am I supposed to let go of you again? I’ve needed you in so many ways over the past five years and now that I have you here with me, the idea of letting you go makes my heart hurt.” His voice is full of vulnerability and sadness and he sounds so desperate, Jimin’s heart is breaking. “Help me, hyung. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do this. I can’t―”
“It’s okay,” Jimin interrupts, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Jeongguk’s head. “Let’s figure it out together, okay? Like we always did. My heart hurts too just at the thought of you leaving again. So just―” he pauses and hopes his voice doesn’t give away just how desperate he feels. If there are words he can say for Jeongguk to stay forever, he’s more than willing to say them. “Talk to me. Tell me everything. Make me understand.”
Jeongguk lifts his face from where he was hiding and when their eyes meet, Jimin finds himself lost all over again. It’s hard to look away from Jeongguk, especially when he’s looking at him in that way, as if Jimin holds all the answers in the world, as if there’s nowhere else he’d like to be looking.
“You’ll hate it,” he whispers, soft and worried. “You’ll hate all of it, hyung. You’ll never look at me the same way. I don’t think I can stand that. I think it would break me beyond repair.”
“I can tell this isn’t something…normal,” Jimin starts, moving his hands to Jeongguk’s cheeks. He cups them softly and gives him a small smile. “You know you can always trust me, no matter what,” he promises. “So, tell me. I’ll listen. The way I feel about you won’t change. You’re still Jeongguk. My Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen the slightest bit and it’s only then that Jimin realizes what he just said, how he just said those words. Jeongguk’s hands fist the back of Jimin’s shirt and he lifts himself up enough that he can burrow his face in Jimin’s neck. It’s another spot where he usually hid so many years ago, normally when he was embarrassed. This time, the feeling of him against Jimin is different. Their bodies align in all the right places and Jeongguk’s touch feels intense against his skin. He nuzzles into Jimin’s neck and sighs deeply.
“I’ll tell you,” he whispers, his lips brushing against Jimin’s neck, making him shudder. “In a little bit. Just let me enjoy this for a little bit longer.”
Jimin doesn’t need to be asked twice. He wants to enjoy this feeling for a little bit longer, too. Being in Jeongguk’s arms is as good as it used to be. Though now, being touched by him in this way, feels so much different, so much more intense. He can’t help that he closes his thighs around Jeongguk’s sides, that he fists the back of his shirt and closes his eyes and gets lost in it.
He’s not sure how long they stay like that. Time seems to freeze while they remain like that, wrapped around each other as if they’ve been desperately hoping for that chance for a lifetime. By the time Jeongguk slowly leans back, Jimin feels drowsy, sleep finally catching up on him. It’s been a long night, after all. Jeongguk’s cheek brushes against his as he leans back and he doesn’t move too far away. He remains close enough that his nose is almost touching Jimin’s as he places his hand on his cheek and brushes his thumb back and forth over his skin.
“You’re sleepy,” he murmurs.
“I’m fine,” Jimin assures. “Tell me everything, Jeongguk-ah. I need to know.”
Jeongguk looks at him for another long moment before giving in with a nod. He leans further back and Jimin misses his closeness immediately. He doesn’t protest, though, when Jeongguk gestures for him to move further onto the bed.
“It’s a long story, so…” he trails off, offering Jimin a shy smile. “Get comfortable, hyung. I’ll hang the towel in the bathroom.”
Jimin nods and quickly crawls up the bed, propping himself up against the pillows and waiting for Jeongguk. When Jeongguk comes back out, he makes his way towards the bed and settles beside Jimin, though he sits with his legs crossed and facing him. He plays with his fingers nervously, keeping his head down. Jimin waits patiently, knowing well that Jeongguk is ready to tell him, he just needs to order his thoughts and figure out a way to start.
“You know how I told you both my parents passed away when I was very young?” He asks, finally lifting his head. “I thought it was the case up until I turned sixteen.” Jimin thinks back to that year. He remembers there was a time during which Jeongguk was lost in thought frequently. It was a long period of time, so Jimin still remembers it pretty well. “That’s when I discovered that my father was very much alive. Basically, my father was the leader of the Busan Gang,” he explains. Out of everything Jimin could have imagined, he didn’t think the problem was that terrible. Jeongguk must notice Jimin’s reaction because he releases a humorless laugh. “Yeah, who would have thought, right? When he started contacting me and waiting for me at home, I foolishly thought he just wanted to have a relationship with me, you know? But something felt off about it all. I guess that’s why I didn’t tell you about him,” he goes on, seemingly reading the questions on Jimin’s face.
“What did he actually want?” Jimin asks. “Did you know he was the leader of the Busan Gang when he started contacting you?”
Jeongguk shakes his head no. “I found out a few months later. He told me he wanted me to join the Gang and learn everything about it so I could follow his footsteps when he inevitably died or decided to step out of the position.” Jeongguk sighs and leans back on his hands. He shakes his head. “I obviously said no. And he let me get away with it. Until I turned eighteen. The threats started then.”
“He threatened you?” Jimin asks, horrified.
“Well,” Jeongguk starts, seeming to get lost in thought now. He’s staring ahead, but he’s not really looking at Jimin. “He didn’t use that word, per see. But he started to ask about my friends. He asked why I didn’t want to leave the life I had, if there was anyone special that I couldn’t let go of, if he should help me with that.” Jimin leans forward, covering his mouth with his hand. He knows what that means, so he’s sure eighteen-year-old Jeongguk knew it too. “Then one day, he asked me about you. Apparently, he had his men following me around and investigating about my life. They realized how important you were to me. I couldn’t say no to my father after that,” he mumbles. “I had to bend to his will for a while. I kept thinking giving him the bare minimum would be enough and that he’d eventually leave me alone. I wasn’t part of the mafia life and I didn’t ever want to be. But…when he realized I wasn’t really cooperating, he told me he was ready to do whatever he had to so that I focused on the gang. He said I had to cut ties with you, otherwise…he’d hurt you.”
“Jeongguk,” Jimin exhales, realizing the gravity of the situation. How difficult could it have been for eighteen-year-old Jeongguk to be told that his best friend was in danger just because of his presence in his life? The idea of Jeongguk going through all of that alone makes Jimin’s heart ache all over again, though now for different reasons.
“I think it was only then that I realized I wouldn’t be able to get away from him,” he whispers. When he looks at Jimin again, actually looks into his eyes, his expression is sad once more. “I didn’t want to leave, hyung. But I knew he wasn’t lying when he said he’d hurt you. I’d seen him hurt so many people before, I had no doubt he’d do it to ensure I did what he wanted. I couldn’t risk that happening. So, I disappeared,” he explains. “It hurt to leave, hyung. But I was ready to spend the rest of my life away from you if it meant you’d forever be safe.”
What can Jimin say in response to that? How could have things been different if Jeongguk had told him what was happening? The mafia is something not even authorities like to deal with, so it was inevitable. Even if Jimin had known, Jeongguk would have still had to leave.
“But you didn’t really disappear, did you?” He asks softly. Things are slowly starting to come back to him. Everything that happened when Jeongguk suddenly got to the bakery, it’s all rushing back to him now. “You’ve been there all this time. Your passcode was my birthday. Yoongi knew who I was. You knew that I owned the bakery. How―” he stops, shaking his head, unsure of how to ask the question. But it seems he doesn’t have to. Jeongguk answers it easily.
“I couldn’t fully let go of you, hyung,” he whispers, a sad smile on his lips. “I grew up beside you. I thought there would never come a day when we had to be apart. I never wanted to be away from you. Even though I tried my best, I couldn’t help that I was constantly looking for you, making sure you were still safe. I was careful about it. If my father had realized, I’m not sure you would have been safe, even if I wasn’t in contact with you. I got away with it. I started after turning twenty. By then, I had earned my father’s trust and he was convinced I was fully loyal to him. I was hesitant at first, but then slowly started to get bolder and bolder. I thought I might be able to actually talk to you again one day. It was stupid, really. I hadn’t been in your life for so long and seeing you again just once wouldn’t have been enough for me. I wanted so much more.” His cheeks tint a soft shade of pink when those last words leave his lips and he clears his throat before going on. He keeps talking and Jimin listens, but he gets a bit lost in thought then, repeating Jeongguk’s words in his head. He wanted more. He wanted so much more. Jimin wants to know more about that, but Jeongguk is already talking about something else. “These past months my father had me following him around everywhere, teaching me things, making me do things that I didn’t really want to, yet had no choice but to do. I think he had a feeling that something was going to happen. Earlier today, or well, before I went to the bakery, we were ambushed. One of his men betrayed him,” he explains. “Yoongi, Seokjin, Hoseok and I have been talking about leaving the gang for a while, so we ran. My father, he―I’m not sure how it happened, but someone shot him and he was long gone when I found him.”
Jimin shifts into a fully sitting position, crossing his legs like Jeongguk. He reaches for his hand and grabs it.
“I’m sorry about that, Jeongguk-ah,” he whispers. “I’m sure that, despite everything, a part of you still cared about him.”
Jeongguk offers him a small smile. “You know me so well, hyung,” he murmurs. “It did hurt a little when I found him. But he’s forced me to do so many things I didn’t want to and, most importantly, he forced me to let go of you. I didn’t mourn him for long. I was out and running with Hoseok, Yoongi and Seokjin just a while later,” he explains. “But the other gang, the one that ambushed us, ran after us. We had to split up. One of the guys caught up to me. I don’t know how, he just came out of nowhere. He stabbed me,” he mumbles, placing his hand on his side, where the bandage is now wrapped around him. “I had to fight him and…” he trails off, not seeming ready to finish the sentence. Jimin squeezes his hand gently. He’s sure that, with all he’s been telling him so far, his father forced him to do that many times before. Still, Jeongguk goes on without saying the word. “I remember thinking I was going to die. And I hadn’t seen you again, I hadn’t had a chance to apologize, to let you know that I didn’t leave because I didn’t want to be in your life anymore. I just wanted to know that you didn’t hate me. I’m sorry for getting you involved and for scaring you like that. I’m sorry for everything, hyung.”
“Hey,” Jimin calls out, when Jeongguk lowers his head. He reaches for his cheek and gently coaxes him to lift his head again. Their eyes meet and Jimin gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m glad you never fully let go of me. I’m glad you looked after me. And I’m glad you came to me. I needed to see you again, too. I’ve wanted you back so many times, Jeongguk. I hate that all of this happened because of that man. I hate that you had to suffer through all of this alone. I hate that I wouldn’t have been able to help you, even if you had told me. He’s gone now, though. And now you’re here. And I know you’re still running. I know you have to go. But I don’t want to think about it yet. I want to pretend everything is fine and that I have you all to myself again.”
His eyes fill with tears and Jeongguk’s do too. Jimin isn’t really thinking when he moves, quickly crawls onto Jeongguk’s lap and wraps himself around him tightly. He’s mindful of not leaning all his weight against him, though he does make sure they’re close enough that it doesn’t feel as if he’ll disappear any second. Jeongguk’s hands fist the back of his shirt and his face burrows in Jimin’s neck and the rest of the world fades away as they hold onto each other for dear life.
“I don’t want to think about it yet, either,” Jeongguk whispers softly.
“Then, let’s not,” Jimin murmurs, burrowing his face in Jeongguk’s neck too. He’s warm and soft and being in his arms never felt better than this.
Jeongguk hums, his hands relaxing, splaying out against Jimin’s back. They both relax once they realize there’s nothing to be afraid of at the moment and they just enjoy each other’s warmth.