Chapter Text
Sam sat in the infirmary, her heart pounding with tension. A soft gasp escaped her as she waited for Janet's redemptive words.
SG-1 was supposed to have a few days off, but instead of relaxing, Sam had decided to run some tests in the lab. She could have gone home or visited her brother, but that just wasn't her style. For her, there were few things more exciting than working on a new project.
Now she regretted it. Perhaps things would have been different if she had accepted Jack's offer. He had invited her fishing, as he often did. She had kindly declined, and there had even been a little playful flirtation between them. But then Jack had come too close to her project and she hadn't been able to stop it in time.
A bright flash of light, a sudden spike of energy - Sam had been wearing protective goggles, Jack hadn't. The result: a painful burn on his retina, almost like a sunburn.
Why did he always have to be so nosy and persistent? She hadn't paid attention for just a moment and the accident had already happened. She wasn't normally so careless, but Jack's charm sometimes simply threw her off balance.
Now they were both sitting in the infirmary - Jack with aching eyes and Sam with an enormous sense of guilt.
"There, Colonel, that should do it for now," Janet said after dripping a liquid into his eyes.
"That burns like fire, Doc!" moaned Jack.
Janet didn't answer, but glanced anxiously at Sam, who was rubbing her hands restlessly on her thighs.
"Can you open your eyes?" asked Janet.
"I don't know... I don't think so. It burns like crazy."
Carefully, Janet tried to lift his reddened eyelid to peer inside.
"Ow, stop it!" Jack quickly pulled back and covered his eye with his hand.
Sam wished she could sink into the floor.
"All right, I guess it's too soon. I'll blindfold you and we'll wait a few days."
"A few days? Wait a minute! What about my fishing trip?" whined Jack.
"I'm certainly not going to let you go alone in this condition, Colonel. The fishing will have to wait," Janet replied firmly.
"You've got to be kidding me," Jack muttered as Janet stuck a large white plaster on his left eye.
"Does that mean I'm stuck here at the base?"
Janet put her hands on her hips and sighed. "I'd really like to get rid of you, Colonel, but I'm not letting you go anywhere alone and blind."
After Janet patted him on the shoulder, a nurse took over and Janet moved on to the next patient.
Sam briefly considered simply disappearing, now that Jack's mood was definitely depressed. She was afraid that he would snap at her, but ultimately she was responsible for this situation.
"Ouch, can't you be a bit more careful?" Jack grumbled at the nurse.
"Sir, I don't know how else to apologize," Sam said quietly.
"Carter? I thought you'd left already?"
"No, I... I feel responsible. So, if there's anything you need...I could.."
"Some new eyes, Carter!"
Sam winced slightly. "I'm really sorry, I should have paid more attention, and..."
"Oh for Crying... Carter, It was my own fault. I should have left and stopped chatting."
The nurse had finished by now and left the room.
"Can I get you anything?" asked Sam.
"No, but you could help me find my jacket."
Sam looked at him in surprise. "Shouldn't you stay here?"
"Why? She didn't say anything about that."
"You want to walk blindly through the corridor?"
"Yes, and then preferably to the elevator and home."
"I think that would be..."
"What, crazy? I'm fine, I just can't see. So, will you help me now?"
Sam looked around. She knew Jack would be better off here, but her guilty conscience was bothering her.
"I don't know, sir."
"Fine, Carter. I know you're busy. I'm sure I can find my own way out of here."
Jack fumbled in vain for his jacket, then slid off the treatment bed and turned to fumble with both hands.
Sam watched him for a few seconds, feeling worse and worse. She couldn't let him wander the corridors like this. Sighing, she reached for his jacket, which she placed on the bed.
When Jack felt it, he snapped at it like a cat at its prey.
"You see? I can do this on my own," he announced proudly.
"Yes, sir, of course."
Jack turned in the wrong direction and almost tripped over the equipment next to his bed.
Sam grabbed him by the shoulders just in time and turned him in the right direction. "This way, sir."
"Oh, yeah, I knew that."
Sam shook her head, took a deep breath and wrapped her arm under his to guide him.
"All right, let's go."
In the elevator, they pressed the button for 25.
"Uh, Carter? Actually, I wanted to go upstairs," Jack remarked.
"Yes, sir. But I have to change first."
"Oh, does that mean..."
"I'll take you home, sir."
"But I didn't want to keep you from work,"
Jack protested.
Sam smiled in disbelief, which he fortunately couldn't see.
"Of course not, sir."
When they reached Sam's quarters, she opened the door and they went in. She disentangled herself from his arm and closed the door behind them. Jack raised his hands in silence and stood still.
"Just a moment, sir, I won't be long," she said and went to her cupboard.
Jack stood there motionless, his mind wandering, but he tried not to let it show.
"Are you all right? Would you like me to help?" he joked, but received no reply.
"Or…maybe I'd better wait outside,"
he added quickly.
Sam hesitated before answering.
"It's okay."
"He can't see anything. He can't see you," she thought, trying to calm herself down.
"Maybe it would help if I turned around?" he suggested, shrugging his shoulders and turning towards the door.
It actually helped. Although she knew he couldn't see anything, Sam felt a little more at ease now. She swapped her black shirt and olive green pants for a blouse and jeans before telling him she was done and they could leave the infirmary.
"Too bad I can't see," Jack muttered, but Sam cut him off by leading him outside.
“Just kidding, Carter. Yeah, bad joke.”
Once at the car, she helped him get in, pushing his head down so he wouldn't bump himself. Jack felt like an invalid, and the memory of Argos when he looked like his own grandfather didn't make it any better. Not seeing anything was really hard for him.
He concentrated on the senses he had left, but that didn't make the situation any easier.
Sam kept looking at her superior, trying to start a conversation, but she couldn't think of anything to say. So she kept quiet.
Arriving at his front door, Jack took out his key and tried to feel for the right one. Sam couldn't stand it any longer and offered to help him.
"Oh, right. There you go." Jack replied and handed her the bunch of keys.
She opened the door and they both stepped inside.
"Thank you, Carter."
"You're welcome, sir. Is there anything else I can do?"
"I've taken up far too much of your time. I'm going to sit on the sofa and watch some TV... See you, Carter,"
He finally bid her farewell.Sam slowly closed the door behind her and walked to her car, but she couldn't stop looking back. Her guilty conscience gnawed at her.
How was he going to make himself something to eat or order a pizza? She got into the car, hesitated and then got out again. She couldn't leave him alone in this state. When she opened the door again, Jack called out in surprise,
"Carter? What's wrong?"
"It's fine, sir... I just think it's better if I stay. You'd be better off at Stargate Center," she confessed.
Jack shook his head.
"Carter, I'm certainly NOT going to spend my days off there. Janet said it would be better tomorrow."
"And you'll be sitting here until then?" Sam asked worriedly.
"I'll be fine."
"All right, then I'll stay," she decided resolutely.
"Ex-cuse me?" Jack asked incredulously.
"I'll stay and order a pizza," she explained.
Jack smiled briefly and then sighed
"Can I even talk you out of it?”
Sam grinned, "No. Janet said you need eye drops every two hours. Where are they?"
She sat down next to him and looked at him expectantly.
"I bet you're staring at me right now, Carter. They're in my back pocket," Jack joked, and Sam smiled.
"Too bad I can't see your smile right now. But I'm just imagining it," he said, and Sam blushed slightly.
"I'm going to take your bandage off now."
Jack nodded and tried to open his eyes, only succeeding painfully. The conjunctiva was still red, and although he could see, everything was blurry.
"Can you see me?"
Jack squinted his eyes. "I can see you, but only dimly. Everything is blurry."
"I'm going to give you the drops now," she said, preparing him.
Jack tilted his head back slightly, and when the first drops hit his eyes, he winced. "Ow! Damn it!" he exclaimed, and Sam winced as well.
"Sorry, sir."
After she had put the plasters back on, she looked at him without saying a word.
"What?" he asked with a slight grin.
"Sorry," Sam repeated softly, and Jack sighed.
"Carter, stop apologizing all the time. I'm fine."
"I'm sorry ... I mean, how can I make it up to you?"
"By you stopping it. Besides, I heard something about pizza."
Sam smiled and nodded.
Later that day, the doorbell rang, and Sam was glad it did, because one more discussion about The Simpsons might have caused her to bolt, leaving Jack in the living room.
When she returned with the pizzas, she pressed the red button on the remote.
"Hey, I wanted to see that," Jack joked with feigned indignation in his voice.
"Maybe we'd better talk about something else, sir."
"If you want to talk about quarks, I'm definitely the wrong guy."
Sam grinned. "I'm sure we can think of another topic. How about sports?"
"Hockey?"
"Not likely."
Jack sighed as Sam opened the pizza boxes.
"Oh, how's Pete?" he asked suddenly, and Sam almost choked on her pizza.
"I think fine," she replied hesitantly.
Jack raised his eyebrows, but Sam didn't give him time to follow up.
"So how's Ms. Johnson?"
"Uh, yeah, probably fine," he stuttered.
An awkward silence followed. Neither of them wanted to offend the other.
"She, uh, we're not..." Jack began after a while.
"I guessed that," Sam said quickly, and Jack nodded.
"And I assume you're both ..."
"No."
"Oh. I thought you were going to ..."
"Yes."
"But...?"
"Let's just say it wouldn't have worked."
Jack nodded mutely. What was he supposed to say? Maybe something like, "You deserve better?"
He had only heard rumors and didn't know how much it really bothered her. Without seeing the look on her face, he could hardly assess the situation.
Sam had a good grip on her emotions and realized he didn't know what to say.
"It's okay, I made the decision. It wasn't easy, but I think it's better this way."
Her tone told him she was over Pete, which eased some of the tension in the room. Jack thought long and hard about changing the subject when he ran his hand over the sofa and accidentally touched Sam's leg.
"Are you all right, sir?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah. I just wanted to make sure you were still here."
Sam giggled. "Don't worry about that, sir. I'll let you know if I can't deal with you anymore."
Jack grinned. How he would love to see her smile right now.
After Sam had put the pizza boxes away, it was time for Jack's eye drops. She carefully removed the plasters and Jack opened his eyes. They still stung a little, but he could already see Sam better.
Sam leaned over him and gently dripped the drops into his eyes. Jack blinked a few times and sighed with relief.
"Thank you. I think it's getting better."
"That's good to hear."
"Carter, don't you have to get going? What time is it anyway?"
"Don't worry, sir, I've got nothing else to do," she reassured him.
Jack nodded and pressed his lips together.
"I'd rather be at the Stargate Center or out somewhere anyway. There's not much going on at home."
"How about a vacation, Major?"
"I don't think so, sir."
"But it would be good."
"Maybe."
"I'm serious. There's nothing better than enjoying the mountains and lakes of northern Minnesota."
Sam smiled. "I'm sure there is."
The situation was unfamiliar and stressful for both of them. Jack could barely hide his frustration at being temporarily blind as he talked about his favorite place, and Sam kept battling feelings of guilt and worry.
After they had talked for a while, the tension seemed to gradually ease. Jack took a deep breath and leaned back.
"You know, Carter, I've always been bad at asking for help."
"It's not weakness, sir, sometimes we all need help."
He nodded slowly. "I know. Thank you for being here," he said softly.
The silence that followed was less oppressive and felt more like a moment of agreement. They both knew that their bond only grew stronger through moments like this, even if it hid a certain nervousness and uncertainty.
"Maybe we should go on vacation together after all," Jack said suddenly, and Sam looked at him in surprise.
"In Minnesota. I'll show you the best fishing spots. Besides, there's a guest room in my cabin."
Sam laughed softly.
"That doesn't sound so bad, sir, really, but..."
"But...?"
Sam searched for an excuse, but couldn't find one that made sense to her.
"Carter, how long have I been trying to persuade you?"
"I'm not sure, uh..."
"Uh - for - years - Carter. Come on, you deserve some time off too."
Sam looked at him and hesitated. "I guess you're right, sir, it would be a good opportunity to come down," she said hesitantly.
"Exactly!" Jack confirmed. "And we could spend some time away from the Stargate Center. No stress, no missions, just fresh air and maybe some fish."
Sam sighed softly. "That sounds really tempting, sir, and I'm grateful for the invitation, but ..."
"Don't tell me you've got better things to do," he warned.
"I just don't think it's right," she said in a hushed voice.
Jack's jaw tensed. He knew exactly what was on her mind, and he realized he was treading on thin ice by inviting her to his cabin.
"Yes."
It was more a breath than a firm "yes," and the resignation in his voice made Sam look up regretfully.
"Sir..."
"It's all right, Carter... I got it. I'll be fine."
Sam felt a twinge of guilty conscience. She didn't want Jack to think she was trying to reject him.
"It's not that I don't want to," she began hesitantly. "It's just... difficult."
Jack nodded slowly, even though she could barely see it.
"I got that. It's always something."
An awkward silence spread until Sam finally spoke, "Maybe it's better if I go after all."
"Carter, stop that" He turned in her direction without giving it much thought. "I didn't want you to think..." He cleared his throat. "I mean, the whole thing is kind of..."
"Awkward," she finished his sentence.
Jack sighed. "I didn't mean to embarrass you or put you in an awkward situation."
"I know that, sir, it's not that I don't like spending time with you. I'm just worried that..."
"I got it, Carter. It was stupid of me to bring it up again," he interrupted her.
Sam lowered her head. She liked being around him. But her feelings fought against her mind, which assessed the situation differently. Alone with Jack in a cabin in the woods - she couldn't stand that for long. Numerous scenarios ran through her mind as to what could happen if one of them lost their temper.
"Sir..." she said quietly, and Jack thought he heard regret in her voice.
"It's okay if you don't want to go fishing with me."
There it was again, the guilty conscience. Sam thought about it. He was helpless, blind - what could possibly happen? She would just have to pull herself together. After all, she was to some extent to blame for his situation.
Sam sighed. "How long?"
"What?"
"How long were you going to be gone?"
"I... A couple days."
"Agreed."
"What, what does that mean?"
"I'll come with you."
"But-"
"But only as long as you can't see properly. As support, to put it that way."
"I can't accept that, Carter. You're only doing this out of guilt. It wouldn't feel right."
"And I feel bad holding you here because I messed up. So accept it."
"Carter... I don't know what to say."
"How about 'okay' or 'yeah, thanks'?"
Jack smiled. "Alright, I owe you one, Major."
Sam returned the smile easily. "Then catch me a fish."
-sj-sj-sj-sj-
After Janet checked Jack's eyes again, they set off. Sam had tried to persuade Daniel to come along, but to no avail. Teal'c was no longer on Earth. So now she had to go it alone. Despite their different hobbies, the atmosphere between them was pleasant.
Jack tried to help as much as he could, but Sam was always one step ahead of him. Just as he was getting out of the car, she slammed the trunk lid in his face.
He grimaced. "If you keep this up, I'm going to feel even more useless, Carter. At least give me a suitcase."
Sam grinned mischievously and nodded. "All right, here you go," she said, handing him her bag.
"What, is that your handbag?" he asked, surprised by the weight.
Sam smiled. "Yep. I'll get the rest later."
"But-"
"Let's go inside. The luggage won't run away. Besides, I didn't pack much anyway."
She looped her arm under his and led him to the front door. Jack shook his head with a smile and let his 2IC lead him inside.
Inside, she let the colonel take a seat on the sofa and looked around. He heard her footsteps and tilted his head.
"Are you all right, Carter?"
Sam winced slightly. "Oh, yes, sir. I was just looking around a bit."
Everything looked a little dusty, but still cozy. Of course, she immediately checked to see if the guest room Jack had mentioned really existed.
"So?" he asked curiously.
"It's really nice here. Quiet."
"That's exactly the point. Just you and me and a lake."
Sam nodded. "Yeah. How are your eyes? I think it's time for the drops."
She tried not to dwell on the subject of togetherness. This situation still scared her - not of Jack, but of what it could do to her.
He took the bottle out of his pocket while she searched nervously for it in her bag. She mumbled quietly to herself as Jack cleared his throat.
"Um, Carter, is this what you're looking for?"
"Oh, yeah. I thought I pocketed it last time."
She removed the plaster and Jack was able to open his eyes carefully without pain.
"And?" she asked, taking a step back when he looked at her.
"I'm not sure."
"Better, now?"
Sam sat down next to him and looked him straight in the face with her big blue eyes. Jack could see her clearly, and it left him speechless.
"Colonel? Is it better or worse?"
"I, uh... better."
"Good. Then we can skip the patch now."
She dripped the medicine into his eyes as he continued to stare at her. She was talking about this new medicine and a mission that had taken place a while ago.
"...great that we were able to make these drops. It seems to heal everything faster. Teal'c was really lucky back then. I don't like to remember the cages we were locked up in like animals. Do you remember? Sir, is something wrong?" she asked as she handed the vial back to him.
"No, I just... It's just nice to see you again."
He hadn't really been listening to her. He had almost forgotten how beautiful Sam was and how much he had missed the sight of her.
Sam smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear that, sir, and I'm sure you'll be rid of me soon."
Jack nodded, hearing her words, especially the 'sir', echoing in his ear, but trying not to let on.
He sighed,
"Carter, how about you enjoy the peace and quietness as much as I enjoy your presence?"
Sam looked at him in surprise as he stood up and walked outside.
"Sir?" she slipped out, more breathed than spoken.
Jack could already find his way out on his own, his eyesight seemed to be improving quickly. He had probably just been lucky. Not just with his eyes - at least he had finally managed to get Sam to his cabin.
He walked out onto the porch, Sam slowly following him. Had he just said that he would enjoy her presence? Maybe she had just taken it the wrong way. She stared at him, trying to organize her thoughts.
Jack breathed in and out deeply, propped his arms on the railing and turned briefly to Sam.
"Don't you want to come here? I don't think there's a nicer place to relax."
Sam approached slowly and stood next to him. The lake sparkled in the evening light. Silence. All you could hear was the wind rustling through the leaves of the trees and some birds around.
Sam smiled and then looked at her CO. Jack gazed out at the calm lake and closed his eyes. She watched him for what seemed like an eternity, and if he hadn't moved at some point, she probably would have watched him for hours.
He turned to her and Sam flinched, avoiding his gaze.
"Yeah, it's really nice here, sir"
"Carter, drop the 'sir' please. Just while we're here. It kind of ruins everything. We're here to relax. No more formalities."
"Uh, okay. But I still think we should-"
"What, are you afraid to call me by my first name?"
"Of course not, Jack."
"See, Sam, that's not hard."
He smiled, and she couldn't help but return the smile. Sam hadn't seen him this relaxed and charming in a long time. But that was exactly what she was most afraid of. She was afraid of liking him even more, of admitting feelings that she was usually good at hiding.
Sam secretly hoped that she would only have to hold out for one day. Just one day without letting emotions get the better of her, without bashful grins, red cheeks or palpitations.
"What should we do now?" Jack asked suddenly, earning him a surprised look from Sam.
"Um, well, you owe me a fish, so you could go fishing and I-"
"forget that," he interrupted her.
"Why? Didn't you want to fish?"
"Yes, I do, but not to catch fish."
"Excuse me?"
"There are no more fish in my pond, Sam.”
Sam sighed. "So why are we here?"
"Because it's not about catching a fish, it's about relaxing while fish-ing - or just doing nothing."
"Do nothing?" Sam looked at him in disbelief.
"I know it's hard for you not to use your brilliant head for once, but that's what it's all about."
He smiled at her. "Come on, I'll show you how to set up a good lure."
"A lure? For a lake with no fish? But-"
"Carter!" Sam sighed in resignation. He looked at her like a dog begging for breakfast ham. With a forced smile, she nodded and followed him.
They sat in silence next to each other by the lake all afternoon, each with a fishing rod in hand and a beer. Jack was generally a secretive person, which fascinated Sam. She found it exciting to tease the occasional story out of him.
By the evening, Jack's eyes were feeling better; he could see almost normally, but he didn't say anything about it to Sam. He knew she would leave as soon as he felt better. So he kept quiet. It wasn't fair, but he wanted her to stay a while longer.
Later, he showed her to the guest room and they spent the evening on the couch, watching one game show after another. Jack chided Sam for her mouth because she always knew the answers before the questions were fully read out and shouted them at the TV, which drove Jack really mad.
Still, they had a lot of fun, and Jack found himself just staring at her for minutes on end. He liked her boisterous laugh and how relaxed she was when they weren't on duty.
Later that evening, when he came out of the kitchen with two bottles of beer, Sam got up and came to meet him.
"Is something wrong? I thought you might want another beer."
"Actually, I wanted..." She hesitated when she saw him standing in front of her, smiling at her.
"Actually, I was going to go to bed. The show's over, and I thought it was time to sleep."
"Oh, okay. Good night then, Sam," he said with a frown and walked past her to put the bottles on the living room table.
"Good night," she mumbled and turned around, confused at his indifference.
But when she went into her room, she felt uncomfortable. She opened the window, changed into a tank top and shorts and sat on the edge of the bed for a while. Finally, she slipped into the bathroom. When she came back, she glanced into the living room. Jack was lying on the couch watching a field hockey game. She briefly considered going to see him again, but then decided against it.
Back in her room, she closed the door and fumbled for the light switch when she suddenly felt something fluffy.
Jack was almost asleep on the couch when he suddenly heard a loud scream and a rumble. He jumped up, grabbed his gun and rushed to Sam's room. He opened the door and immediately turned on the light. "Carter, what happened?"
Sam stood frozen in the middle of the room as Jack walked in with his gun drawn.
"There was something! Here in the room, I think it ran over the dresser!"
Jack looked around. Some pictures and books were lying on the floor next to the chest of drawers.
"Okay?" he said, surprised. "Did it attack you? What did it look like?"
Sam crossed her arms in front of her deep cleavage and shook her head slightly. "Um, no. I think it was more scared of me. I couldn't see it."
Jack searched the room while Sam watched nervously. Finally, he tucked the gun back into his waistband.
"So you didn't see it?" he asked as he looked under the bed.
"No, but I touched it. It felt fluffy and then ran around the room in a panic."
"Fluffy?" he repeated in surprise.
"I'm sorry, maybe I overreacted."
Jack looked at the open window. "Maybe it was just a cat."
"But it didn't feel like a cat. Otherwise I wouldn't have screamed like that."
"That kind of screech, you mean?" he asked with a slight grin.
"It was more of a scream out of fright," she replied indignantly.
Jack went to the window when the curtain suddenly moved. He carefully pulled the curtain aside and discovered a small raccoon staring at them, startled.
"Uh, Carter?"
Sam peered cautiously over his shoulder. "Oh! A raccoon!"
The little raccoon hissed in fear and pressed himself against the wall. Sam was still clinging to Jack's back.
"What now?" she whispered.
Jack turned his head towards her, their faces only millimeters apart. He raised an eyebrow and whispered, "First of all, could you let go of me, Sam."
Sam's eyes widened as she realized how close she was to him. "Of course!" she stammered, stepping back hastily.
Jack couldn't suppress a smile.
"Thank you," he said.
Jack thought for a moment.
"I could just chase him out with the broom."
"What?!" Sam shouted in horror and smacked him on the shoulder.
"Just kidding, Sam, don't worry."
Jack grinned and raised his hands in a placating gesture.
"I certainly hope so. The kid's probably scared of us."
Jack frowned.
"You were scared of him a minute ago."
Sam narrowed her eyes to slits.
"That was before I saw how small and helpless he is."
Jack shook his head slightly and smiled.
"Alright, I'll see what I can find to catch him."
Jack disappeared briefly and returned with a box and a pair of work gloves.
Sam kept a close eye on the raccoon as Jack put on the gloves and carefully approached the animal.
With practiced movements, he lifted it by the neck and under its hind legs into the box. The raccoon hissed and struggled, but Jack remained calm.
Sam quickly closed the box as soon as Jack withdrew his hands.
Together they set the little raccoon free again outside the front door.
Back in the house, Sam noticed that she was still standing in front of Jack in her nightwear.
She involuntarily wrapped her arms around herself and her eyes wandered nervously around the room.
Jack shot off the TV and turned to face her, his eyes moving up and down, scrutinizing her.
"Didn't you want to go to sleep?"
"Yes, I wanted to," she replied hesitantly.
"But?"
Jack took a few steps towards her, his voice softer.
Sam felt her heart beat faster the closer he got.
"I just wanted to... say thank you."
Jack stopped in front of her, a questioning look on his face.
"For what? For saving you from a raccoon?"
He grinned mischievously.
Sam giggled softly. "No, for today."
"Hm. Ok, you're welcome."
Jack dropped his gaze to her hand, where he noticed a small scratch.
"Is that bad?" he asked, taking her hand in his.
Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that he could see her clearly the whole time. Her eyes widened.
"You... you can see me?"
Jack nodded,
"Of course I can. You're standing right in front of me."
"Since when can you see me clearly?" Sam's voice trembled with tension.
Jack took a deep breath and his eyes softened. "Since this afternoon. It's been better for a while."
"And you didn't tell me?" Her voice was disappointed and hurt.
"I didn't want you to go, Sam. We had a great day, and I didn't think it was that important."
"You should have told me," Sam retorted, her words clipped and full of emotion.
Jack shook his head as if the question exhausted him. "And then what? Just send you away?"
"Or ask me to stay," she whispered, looking deep into his eyes.
Jack looked at her, puzzled.
"What?"
"You could have asked me to stay," she repeated gently but firmly.
"Just like that?”
Jack rubbed his face, exhausted, as if the conversation had made him physically tired.
"Look, Sam, I..." He paused, searching feverishly for the right words.
"It was never my intention to see you like…that."
"Oh, really?" Sam's voice sharpened.
"And what did you think when you came into my room?"
Jack stared at the floor, his gaze averted, before slowly looking back up at her.
" If you hadn't shrieked like that, I wouldn't have come into the room. Why are you even wearing something like that and not pajamas?"
Sam's eyes narrowed, and she felt a lump forming in her throat.
"Maybe I didn't think it mattered what I was wearing."
"It's damn hard to stay lucid around you, you know? You're not just smart and funny, and..
And your outfit? It just adds to the fact that I'm ... uh."
Jack faltered as he realized what he was trying to say.
Sam's heart skipped a beat as she blushed.
"Sir?" she said with a low voice, but warning tone.
"I...I'm sorry," he mumbled, "forget what I said. It wasn't appropriate."
"It was honest, right?" whispered Sam, her voice a quiet confession.
Jack stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head as if questioning reality.
"Wait, no, I mean, we shouldn't have crossed that line. It was wrong on so many levels to bring you here.
We'll go back in the morning."
"But-"
"Good night, Major." His voice was quiet, but unmistakable. Without waiting for a reply, he turned and went into his bedroom, the door closing softly but firmly behind him.
Sam stood there for a moment, unsure what to make of what had just happened. Finally, she sighed, the soft murmur of her own thoughts the only sound that filled the room.
There she was, in his cabin, outside his bedroom, in a tank top and shorts, and he had slammed the door in her face.
The bitter taste in her mouth spread as she paused outside his door for minutes. The lump in her throat got bigger and bigger. She tried to console herself with the fact that he had just admitted that his feelings for her were out of control and that he didn't want to let her go, but saw that he had no other choice.
That was why he was now acting according to protocol again, according to the rules and his obligations as CO, to protect them both.
Still, she had wished he had reacted differently, even though she had always been afraid of how they would deal with this revelation.
Sam took a few steps towards the guest room.
Maybe she didn't want to be protected? Maybe she just wanted to hear the truth that she had secretly known for so long.
But what would happen after that, would they fall for each other? Maybe.
Could they deal with it afterwards? Surely.
Would they still be able to do their job?
Hell yes!
Determined, she turned around and walked back to his room. She took a few deep breaths before knocking
carefully.
Silence.
She knocked harder.
Then the door opened abruptly. The sight that met her eyes took her breath away. Jack stood in front of her, his upper body exposed, and her gaze inevitably wandered over his chest and stomach before pausing again in his eyes.
"What?" he asked with a furrowed brow.
"Hi,"
she said nervously, sinking into his brown eyes.
He tilted his head and looked at her questioningly. Heat rose inside her and she felt her face flush.
"Sam?"
She smiled fleetingly.
"I wanted to... because you... you were serious, weren't you?"
"Every single word," he replied firmly.
"Good, because... I... I wanted..."
"Like what?"
she gathered all her courage,
"Can I come in?"
He looked at her, but to her amazement he didn't look surprised.
"I thought you'd never ask."
He gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into the room, closing the door behind her.
Leaning her head against his chest, Sam listened to his racing heartbeat as he held her close. She clung to him as if he were her lifeline in a stormy sea.
Then she felt his grip loosen. She was briefly overcome with fear of what would happen next, but then she noticed his hands sliding through her hair, stroking her shoulders and finally lingering gently on her cheeks.
She loosened her embrace and looked up at him. The look in Jack's eyes was unforgettable - gentle, full of emotion and with a smile that gave her goosebumps.
"What now?" he whispered.
Sam's eyes moved back and forth between his eyes and lips,
"I don't know," she admitted.
"You don't know?"
He frowned, a slight smirk on his lips.
"I rarely hear you say that."
The room seemed to crackle with tension as Jack continued to hold her cheeks tenderly. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light of the room, and she felt his breathing deepen as he slowly leaned down towards her.
"There's a first time for everything,"
Sam finally breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper, but firm enough to make the meaning of her words clear.
Jack smiled,
“First times're always the hardest, you know.”,
he whispered with tenderness in his eyes, before he touched her lips in a slow but determined kiss.
This kiss expressed all the unspoken feelings that had accumulated over time. Sam closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment and feeling every fiber of her body respond to the closeness. The kiss became more intense, more passionate, and she snuggled closer to him as the rest of the world around them faded into insignificance.
When they finally broke away from each other, they were both breathing heavily and Jack gently lowered his forehead against hers.
The silence after the kiss was heavy and impenetrable, as if the world outside had stopped for a moment. Sam and Jack stood tightly entwined in Jack's bedroom, the intensity of the moment crushing. The relief of the moment quickly turned into a feeling of trepidation.
Sam was unable to find words to express her feelings. All she knew was that she was exactly where she wanted to be - in Jack's arms, where she was finally home.
Jack took a step back, his gaze worried and thoughtful. He ran his hands over his face as if he could wipe the reality from his skin. Sam didn't take her eyes off him, her thoughts whirling incessantly.
Jack drew the curtains that shielded the windows from the dark evening light and then turned back to Sam. The uncertainty in his eyes was unmistakable.
He reached for one of the chairs in the room and sank down on it. With a deep sigh, he propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands.
Sam stopped at the edge of the room, the tension in her body almost unbearable. She looked around as if she could find answers in the familiar space. The kiss that had connected them so deeply now seemed like a heavy secret between them. She walked slowly to the chest of drawers and reached for one of the picture frames that stood there. Her thoughts drifted back to the evening before she had entered this room - moments of laughter, recreation and no tension.
She put the frame with SG1 on it back and turned to Jack.
Time seemed to stand still as Jack slowly straightened up and breathed through his shoulders. He lifted his gaze and met Sam's eyes, tears shimmering in the corners. Sam took a step closer and sat on the edge of the bed as Jack stood up and walked over to her.
Instead of finding words to express her concerns, Jack placed a hand on her shoulder and stroked her gently. Sam returned the gesture by placing her hand over his and looking at him gently. At that moment, there were no more words, no explanations. Just the silent understanding that they had to find a way in this new reality without letting their fears guide them.
Jack took a deep breath and sat down next to her on the bed. He reached for one of the pillows and pulled it towards him, while Sam sat down as well, her eyes still fixed on the floor. The darkness in the room was broken by the soft rays of light from the bedside lamp, creating a calming atmosphere.
The two sat in silence for a while, interrupted only by the soft hiss of the air conditioning and their steady breaths. The moment that had connected them so intensely began to fade into the quiet stillness of the room. Jack finally put his arm around Sam and gently pulled her close, as if that small gesture would be enough to ease the uncertainty in their hearts.
Slowly, they closed their eyes and let the darkness and soft sounds of the house envelop them.
They agreed that there were no quick decisions, only the quiet, continuous exploration of their feelings and the new reality. The future was uncertain, but in that moment they found comfort in each other's closeness and in the silence they shared