Chapter Text
It was quiet in the office. Reid had stayed late finishing paperwork. Everyone else had gone home hours ago. Everyone except Hotch. Reid found himself glancing towards Hotch's office every couple of minutes. He was in theory here late to finish his work in a distraction free environment. Really, he was here late because Hotch was here late, and because he wanted Hotch to walk up to his desk and... and what? The only time Hotch left his office was for a cup of coffee. Why was he so stupid? Reid dropped his head into his hands.
He had been enjoying coming to work as of late. It wasn't because the death and cruelty stopped getting to him. It was because he was in love. In love with his boss no less. His married boss. Reid wanted to scream. There was nothing worse than being in love.
He glanced at Hotch's office for the third time in as many minutes when the door opened. Reid looked away quickly, his heart in his throat. He was nervous at seeing Hotch and he was nervous about Hotch seeing him. Reid hoped he hadn't caught him staring.
Reid had been caught staring a lot lately. Hotch was just so attractive. Reid loved listening to him address the team. He was authoritative, tall, strong. Reid felt safe with him. Hotch looked out for him, protected him. Reid felt important and cared for and safe. Hotch looked out for everyone Reid had to remind himself. He wasn't special.
Reid was intensely aware of Hotch as he walked around the room. He had seen Hotch leave his office but had immediately fixed his eyes on his work. He could hear Hotch at the coffee cart and chanced a glance towards him. Hotch had already been looking at him. Reid felt caught. He looked back at his work, and he could feel his face heating up. He could feel Hotch watching him. His heartbeat picked up as he heard Hotch walking towards him.
Reid looked up as Hotch approached his desk.
"You're here late" Hotch said questioning
"So are you" Reid leaned back in his chair
Hotch leaned against his desk "are you ok? It was a tough day"
"Statistically rates of anxiety and depression are actually 70% lower within law enforcement."
Hotch said nothing
"I’m ok,” said Reid. "What about you? You actually have people waiting for you at home"
Thinking about Hotch's family didn't bother Reid nearly as much as he thought it should. It meant Hotch was unattainable yes but hearing him talk about Hailey and Jack was almost nice. He loved Hotch and he loved hearing about the things Hotch loved. Even if it meant he'd never love Reid.
Hotch dropped his head slightly Reid knew it bothered him not being able to be present at home.
"They're staying at Haley's parents for her mother’s birthday" he sighed “I can stay as long as I want" Hotch said tilting his head towards the ceiling not looking at anything.
Reid couldn't help but admire the curve of his neck, his broad shoulders, his arms where he'd rolled up his sleeves. It was rare to see Hotch looking so casual. That was another reason Reid had been staying late these days.
Reid's gaze traveled back up to meet Hotch's. Crap. He'd been caught staring a third time. But while he had been looking at Hotch, Hotch had been looking at him. This time he didn't look away. He blushed but he held eye contact.
"You did a good job today" Hotch said finally looking away.
"Thank you, sir," Reid said, blush deepening. Reid's heart picked up again. That's what did it. This is how Spencer Reid fell in love with Aaron Hotchner. This beautiful authoritative man telling Reid how good he was, how smart, how clever, how important.
Hotch smiled. "Goodnight, Reid"
"Goodnight, sir" Reid said he looked back at his desk and pretended to work.
…
Something was up with Reid. He had been quieter during meetings. Glancing up at him often despite the files in his hands. He'd been staying late more often. Hotch happened to know that Reid's paperwork had been done hours ago. He'd taken some of Morgan and Elle’s work as well. It seemed like Reid was avoiding going home.
Hotch knew Reid didn't have a very robust social life. None of them did. Hotch himself was the closest he had a family. Morgan liked to go out but Reid? Reid played chess with Gideon. Reid had gone to a football game with JJ, and he'd kissed Lila Archer, but he went home to an empty apartment to read or research or whatever it was he did. Reid must be lonely. Hotch had a soft spot for the kid he must admit. Which he supposed is what compelled him to walk over to his desk.
He just wished the kid was a little... uglier. But no Reid looked up at him with big brown eyes. He looked beautiful. Hotch made a conscious effort, as he often did these days, not to notice Reid's delicate cheekbones and sharp jaw. Reid looked nervous, he blushed but he held Hotch's gaze. When Hotch told him how good he'd done today his blush deepened. Flustered was a good look on him.
Hotch didn't exactly feel guilty about his attraction to Reid sure he was a married man and Reid was not only a decade younger than him but also his direct subordinate, but Hotch had no intention to act on his attraction. Most of the time he did his best to pretend it wasn't there at all.
Sometimes when it was late, and he was tired (like now) he had a harder time pretending his gut didn't flip when Reid called him "sir" like it didn't do something to him to find Reid staring at him like he did. He exhaled and buried himself in his work.
…
The next day they have a case. Reid is not often paired up with Hotch during investigations. The two of them are useful under different circumstances. Hotch is a good interviewer. He's physically imposing but calm. He's intimidating enough that people take him seriously and empathetic enough that people talk to him. Reid on the other hand is smart but awkward around others he's often left looking at crime scene photos and going over the profile. He loves working beside Hotch in the field, however rarely he gets to. Hotch never smiles in the field. He gives orders and gets things done. Reid lives for it. He'd do anything Hotch said if he said it in that voice. The voice that left no room for argument. Sometimes he imagined that voice ordering him to his knees ordering him to suck him off telling him how good he was.
Reid admired Hotch. Today the two of them had a gun pulled on them in the unsub's lab. Hotch had stepped in front of Reid immediately protecting him. At the time it was an incredibly stressful situation but looking back it felt good to be cared about, to be treated like he was something important, something Hotch didn't want to see hurt.
They were in the elevator on the way to meet back up with the team. Adrenaline was still high. Reid was rocking back and forth on his heels. Reid was extremely aware of Hotch standing next to him. They had a whole elevators worth of room and yet Hotch stood within a foot of Reid. Reid looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. Trying to calm the jitters that come with being held at gun point and with standing beside his crush. Hotch noticed.
"You were invaluable today" Hotch said resting his hand on Reid's shoulder. Reid glanced at Hotch and then away.
"Thank you, sir," Reid looked at his feet
Hotch must have sensed his restlessness. He took a step forward. Standing in front of Reid he moved his hand to the side of Reid's neck. Reid supposed it was meant to be a fatherly gesture, but he was standing so close! It made his heart race.
"How are you holding up? Having a gun pointed at you never gets any easier"
Reid cleared his throat
"I’m ok sir" Reid looked up again "I’m not a kid"
"I know" Hotch dropped his hand "you're a good agent I'm here if you want to talk about it"
The elevator dinged and Hotch finally stepped away. Reid caught his breath and hurried after him.
…
Hotch couldn't explain why he'd done that. Why he had pressed into Reid's space and put his hand on his neck. He just wanted to know Reid was alive, he wanted to feel his heart still beating. Any day could be their last in their line of work, but they'd survived. He couldn't save everyone, but he'd kept Reid alive. It made him feel useful, not completely helpless against the people they faced. He'd felt Reid's heart speed up under his palm. He saw his nervous glances between himself, and the floor and he saw him blush. It’s been clear that Reid liked being praised. Hotch never intended to take advantage of it but once he'd noticed it was hard to keep compliments from spilling from his lips. He wanted his employees to know he appreciated them. ...and he wanted Reid to blush like that. Hotch approached the team and tried to forget how Reid's skin felt.
…
Hotch sat in his office head in his hands. He’d missed another of Jack’s doctor’s appointments. He knew Hailey was upset with him. He was upset with himself. If he'd just caught the unsub faster those people wouldn't have had to die... he wouldn't have had to miss Jack’s doctor’s appointment. He just wanted to do something right. He wanted to be with his family, but he was sick of the panic. The knowledge that the phone would ring, and he'd have to leave and hurt the people he loved most. It was frustrating. He wanted to be present for his family, he loved them! But his job was quite literally life and death. He needed to be here too. It was frustrating that Hailey was upset, and it was frustrating that he knew she had every right to be. This is what life was like in the FBI every agent experienced some version of this. It was just so frustrating. Hotch just wanted to do something right.
It was then that his thoughts drifted to Reid. He'd been able to get himself and Reid back safe. Reid looked up to him. Hotch admired Reid in return. He was a brilliant man, and he was resourceful in difficult situations. Reid was every bit as valuable to the team as Hotch himself but still he blushed and stuttered when Hotch was nice to him or stood too close. He wanted to be good to Reid. It was something he felt he could do. He wanted to make Reid feel good. He imagined his hands on Reid's waist on his chest. He wanted to trace his cheekbones and his jaw down to his neck. He wanted to follow his hands with his mouth. He imagined Reid's blush he imagined his gasp as Hotch kissed down his chest. Hotch imagined taking Reid's wrists in his hands and holding him down against a wall... against a bed. Fuck
There was a knock at his office door and none other than Reid stepped inside. Hotch felt panic seize him. Fuck.
"Hotch I just wanted your eyes on this" he was holding a crime scene photo in his hands. Hotch held his hand out for it. Reid lurched forward handing it over. He looked nervous. Hotch irrationally worried Reid knew what he'd been thinking about. He gave a brief analysis of the photo. Reid didn't seem satisfied
"I thought so to" Reid pointed to something excitedly "but if you look here..."
Hotch cut him off "I don't know Reid! Ask Gideon"
Reid looked shocked and then hurt. Hotch hated the way Reid looked at him in that moment. Reid just stared at him.
"Yes sir" Reid snatched the photo back and left he all but slammed the door behind him. Fuck
…
Reid hadn't really needed Hotch's opinion. But after the weird moment in the elevator yesterday Reid wanted to talk to him. He wanted to talk about anything! He just wanted to be in the same room. Reid had been so stupid Hotch didn't want to talk to him. He'd snapped at him and basically told him to kick rocks. Reid's stupid crush was getting out of hand. He sat back down at his desk and stared blankly at the photos for a few more minutes before giving up and going home. They'd already caught the guy Reid had just been going over things again for research purposes. It could wait.
Reid was getting into his car when Hotch caught up with him. He was out of breath. Hotch had run to catch up with him.
"Reid" Hotch put on his most professional voice. He couldn't have his mushy feelings about the man in front of him seep into this conversation "I’m sorry about earlier I shouldn't have snapped at you that's no way to talk to one's coworkers"
"Thank you" Reid said he looked thoroughly surprised "its uh its ok" Reid turned back towards his car
No. No! Reid looked hurt all over again.
"Wait" Hotch reached for Reid's arm his hand rested lightly on Reid's bicep he didn't grab or pull but Reid turned towards him anyway. "What I mean to say is that's no way to talk to one's friends. Reid I should have taken the time to help you today I'm sorry"
Reid smiled at that "a friend huh?"
He seemed amused like he knew something Hotch didn't. Reid was a good profiler, maybe he knew more than Hotch had assumed. Hotch was still touching Reid's arm. Reid took a step forward. Up close Hotch admired the details of his face. He was beautiful.
…
Reid was a good profiler. He knew Hotch was married but he also knew what attraction looked like. He kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. He'd been too busy throwing himself a hotch-will-never-love-me pity party. But between the elevator and this? If Hotch wasn't attracted to him, he would turn his badge in on the spot.
Hotch had been standing far too close recently. When Hotch touched him like in the elevator, he was hard to read but here where Reid could move first and catch him off guard Hotch was obvious. When Reid got close, he still wore his trademark scowl but his breathing picked up ever so slightly. He stopped moving entirely like he would scare Reid away if he so much as twitched and most damning of all he was currently staring at Reid's lips. Reid pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and watched Hotch's eyes meet his.
"Thank you, sir," Reid smiled "apology accepted" he turned back towards his car
"Goodnight, Reid"
"Goodnight, Hotch" Reid watched him walk away and drove home.