Archive of Our Own

It started out like any other night. I stood on a rooftop in Blüdhaven, watching my city and waiting for trouble. Considering it was Blüdhaven, trouble was inevitable. I was about to move to a different perch when I felt someone behind me. Eskrima sticks in hand, I turned to face the intruder. I almost dropped my sticks when I saw who it was—almost. I was too well-trained for that.

"Aqualad," I stated calmly. I looked behind him and spotted Miss M, Superboy, and Wally in the background. Oh, Wally, I missed him. I missed all of them, really.

"So you know who I am, that's good. I'm here with an offer. We've been following your work and would like to know if you'd be interested in joining a team," he said with his formal Atlantean accent, comforting me with its familiarity despite the years since I last heard it. While I was overcome with nostalgia, it was clear they had no idea who I really was. This was perplexing. Should I tell them? Should I go back and risk things being just the same as they were? I had to admit I was getting lonely, and despite how everything went down when I left, I knew the team wasn't the real issue. But still, I didn't want things to go back exactly the way they were. Honestly, I was more than a little embarrassed about the way I left. It was rash and immature, and they deserved better than that. I was about to say thanks but no thanks and spare us all a whole awkward ordeal when I got an idea. Maybe there was a compromise.

I stuck my hand out and said, "It's nice to formally meet you. I would love to join your team."

"Okay, team, I'd like you to meet our newest member. This is Nightwing," Aqualad announced after we arrived at the cave and gathered the team. Wow, it had really grown since I left. Of course, I hacked the system when he wasn't looking, so when we zetaed, it didn't announce me as Robin B01.

"Wow, it's so cool to meet you," M'gann gushed.

I smiled at her. "Likewise."

"Do you have any powers?" Beast Boy asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "Nope, just badass fighting skills and a ton of cool gadgets."

"Noted," Beast Boy replied. I tried not to smile at that.

"It's cool. I don't have any powers either," Artemis chimed in. "We're cooler than them anyhow."

I laughed and looked her over, subtly searching for a ring. I didn't see one, but she probably didn't wear it on patrol. I would not get my hopes up. That's not why I was here. I was over him, totally over him.

"So, Blüdhaven, how's that?" This came from the ginger in the corner, leaning against the wall like he was cool or something. It was almost as if he could tell I was thinking about him. I didn't see a ring on his finger either. I mentally chided myself and answered his question.

"It's an interesting city, like Gotham, only with more criminals. But it's my home, and I love it."

"Didn't know it was possible for there to be a city with more criminals than Gotham," he retorted with a small smirk on his handsome face.

"You ever been?" I asked.

"No, but now I feel like I have to." He was smiling now, and it lit up his whole face, making me a little weak in the knees.

"I'm Kid Flash, by the way," he informed me.

"It's nice to meet you, W—Kid Flash. Same to all of you. I look forward to working with you," I told them. Noticing only after seeing the mildly startled look on Wally's face that I had slipped up.

In an attempt to distract them, I hooked a thumb towards the training area. "So, who wants to spar?"

Wally West was my best friend. We met when I was nine and he was twelve. I think I always knew what I felt for him wasn't normal. I cared too much, way more than was acceptable for two bros. It wasn't until he started dating Artemis that I knew what I felt wasn't just friendship. As I looked at him, all those feelings came rushing back and I started to doubt my decision to return. Why did I, really? For some sense of duty? For some unfinished business? I knew what it really was, of course. Part guilt, part desire—not just for him, but for the comfort of having people who cared about me. I'd had friends in Blüdhaven, even some boyfriends, but I wasn't looking for attachments. And honestly, how close could you really be to someone when they only knew half of you? That was the thing about Wally and me. We got each other. We'd known both halves of the other and accepted them. There was always something about Wally, something special, outside of his ability to outrun sound. It was his sense of humor, his one-man mission to never let things get too serious, his incredible intelligence, which combined with his incredible stubbornness led to him barbecuing himself in his garage. Despite his cringeworthy flirting and skirt-chasing ways, he had always been there for me when I needed him—anything from a bad day at school to one of my epic fights with Bruce. He was there. One would think with a friend like that, I should have just told him who I was. But it wasn't that simple. Because as much as Wally knew about me, there's so much that he didn't know, even then. Namely, my sexuality and how I felt about him. Now I'm back, and God, looking at him, I feel like no time has passed at all. Like I can just give him a look and he'd meet me in my room with junk food and video games, ready for another ill-advised all-nighter. But that won't happen. It can't. I've been gone for five years. Gone without a single word. How can I even begin to explain that? And I'm different, not the same little Robin I had been when I left. No, despite any feelings I might have had for Wally, I will not be telling him I'm back. I won't be telling anyone...except maybe...

"Hiyah, I'm Batgirl," my other best friend Barbara Gordon said, sticking her hand out for me to shake.

I slyly looked around, noting that no one was standing near us and that Superboy had zetaed somewhere.

"Hi, Barbara, I'm Dick," I whispered conspiratorially, trying to push my Wally problems to the back of my mind where they belonged.

Barbara stared at me for a moment, sizing me up. "How do you know that name? How do you know my name?" she questioned, looking at me through narrowed eyes.

"How about we take this somewhere more private, Babs?" I suggested, throwing her nickname out there as an incentive to join me.

She regarded me cautiously before agreeing and following me to my old room, which thankfully, was empty.

"So?" she prompted.

I pulled my mask off and looked her in the eyes. "Hi, Barbara. I'm Dick. Dick Grayson. Your best friend. Or have you forgotten me already?" I teased, trying to distract from the awkwardness of this situation with humor.

She took me in, comparing my features to what they used to be five years ago. Upon realizing that I was telling the truth, she punched me in the face. Then she hugged me.

"Where the hell have you been?" she snapped.

"Blüdhaven," I said, fully knowing that's not the answer she was looking for.

"I knew that, you idiot. I meant, what the hell, Dick!" she yelled, and I was afraid she might deck me again.

I shrugged. "I know I should have called, but I had to get away, Babs. From him, from...some other things. I didn't know how to say goodbye, and I knew he would find me if I kept contact. Honestly, it was just easier."

She tried to punch me again, but this time I dodged. I definitely deserved the first one and probably this one too, but I have a one free punch limit.

"You asshole! Just a goddamned letter, nothing else! I thought you were dead! We all did!" she exclaimed.

"Whoa, dead? You guys thought I was dead?" I stammered, my whole body going cold.

"Well, what else were we supposed to think? You've been gone five years, Dick," she reminded me.

"I know, but—" I started to defend myself, not really knowing how, but trying anyway.

"No!" she cut me off. "You don't know. You weren't here. We don't even say your name anymore. God, Wally can't even look at Tim!" she yelled.

"Tim? Who's Tim?" I asked, choosing to ignore the Wally comment.

"Robin. You didn't see him because he's on some mission for Batman. But he's the new Robin," she informed me with a heavy sigh.

"He replaced me?" I exclaimed. Really, this was something I should have known, but since leaving Gotham, I've done everything in my power to avoid all things Bat.

"He didn't replace you. He just needed more help. More than I could give. He's getting old. Besides, Tim's actually the third Robin. The second one, Jason, died. Actually died. I think Batman's started to get a complex. Anyways, the point is, Batman needs a Robin. Tim knew that. Smart kid. Figured out who Bruce is. You as well, actually." She paused and took a breath. "You've been gone a long time, Dick."

Barbara

 didn't understand why I wouldn't tell anyone else, but she respected my decision and promised not to tell anyone.

"So tell me about this new Robin," I asked her, trying not to be hurt.

She smiled. "He's a nice kid. Like I said, really smart, very loyal, hardworking. He's trying very hard to live up to you."

I wasn't sure what to do with that information, so I shifted the conversation. "Huh, so how's the team?"

She shrugged. "Alright. They're missing one of their founding members. You built this team, Dick. It's not the same without you. We've been managing, but it's not the same."

"I am sorry, Babs. I really am." I looked away, guilt creeping up my spine.

She sighed. "I know."

Changing the subject again, I asked, "Hey, wanna see if I can still kick your ass?"

"You wish!"

"No weapons, just you and me," she told me.

"Alright," I said, taking off my utility belt and throwing my eskrima sticks to the side, stepping onto the mat. She did the same and joined me. The whole team had gathered around to watch. I spotted the new Robin off to the side, watching us with interest. Because she thought I was distracted, Babs came at me, going for a side jab I easily dodged. I grabbed her fist, bringing her down to the mat with a thud. She was up quickly though, aiming a kick to knock my feet out from under me, but I jumped up and vaulted over her shoulders, pushing her down as I went. She lay dazed for a moment before getting back up and launching a punch at my face, which I easily sidestepped, retaliating with a jab to her stomach followed by a flip over her head—because hey, I'm a performer at heart—and sending her down to the mat, where she stayed.

I looked around and saw everyone staring in awe. Whoops, maybe a little much there. But Babs and I have history, and I will never live it down if I let her beat me. I turned and offered a hand, which she took, accepting her defeat with grace, as she always has.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd gotten rusty," she whispered.

"Ha! As if," I remarked with a laugh.

"Wow, I've never seen anyone beat her that quickly," Artemis mentioned, pausing before continuing, "well, not since..." She trailed off, and I knew she was talking about me. I turned, feeling that guilt creep up on me again.

"Nice moves," Superboy stated, ignoring the tension Artemis' comment evoked. "You sorta fight like him too."

"Nice going, circus boy. Might wanna reign it in," Babs whispered in my ear.

"Do you two know each other?" Conner questioned.

I paused before saying, "We've met before."

"Circus boy?" he probed, clearly still needing to work on boundaries.

I gave Babs a look before scanning the room for Wally, the only other person here that would understand that reference. Thankfully, he was nowhere to be seen. Small miracles.

"I think she was making fun of the way I fight. I'm a little showy," I lied.

I'm not sure he believed me, but he let it go.

With the exception of Barbara and Bruce, Wally was the only one who knew about my past. It wasn't really something I liked to talk about. He was also the only one who knew my secret identity. That was something we bats had always kept pretty close to the vest. Unlike us though, everyone and their mother knew Wally West was Kid Flash. I don't think he really cared that much. Case in point, he walked back in after ditching the costume.

"Is anyone else hungry? 'Cause I am," he announced.

"You're always hungry," Artemis voiced what we were all thinking.

I suppressed a smile and said, "Well, I'm kind of hungry too."

"We should go out!" M'gann exclaimed.

"I'm feeling Chinese," Beast Boy said, joining the conversation.

So that's how twenty minutes later I found myself sitting in a little Chinese restaurant, wearing dark glasses and avoiding looking at Wally, who I could feel eyeing me. It's sort of funny if you look at me, Barbara, and Tim all sitting together with our matching dark glasses.

"So I guess this means there will be no revealing of the secret identity," Wally pouted.

I shrugged. "I'm pretty private about it."

"So tell us about yourself. Are you in school?" M'gann smiled at me, as outgoing as ever.

"I have an AA, majored in criminology, minored in forensics," I shared.

Barbara laughed. "Somehow I'm not surprised. So, Nightwing, how old are you?"

I gave her a sideways look before answering. "Twenty-one."

"What do you do?" Aqualad chimed in.

"I'm a cop," I said.

"That's cool. Wally's a cop too," M'gann told me.

"Forensic scientist," he corrected.

"Well, you work in a police precinct, don't you?" Conner asked.

"It's different," I said.

"Thank you!" Wally exclaimed. "These guys don't get it."

I gave him a tight smile.

"You seeing anyone?" he surprised me by asking.

"Not at the moment. You're dating Artemis, right?" I blurted out before I could think better of it.

"DateD," he corrected, looking across the table at her. "How did you know?" he asked, giving me a weird look.

"Barbara mentioned something," I lied.

He seemed to accept that and started to chat with Aqualad. I turned to look at Tim.

"So, you're Robin, right? The Boy Wonder," I asked in a hopefully not too hostile tone.

Babs shot me a warning look. I ignored it and focused my attention on Tim.

He looked a little uncomfortable but answered anyway. "Yeah, but I'm not the first."

I think my eye was twitching a little. I closed my eyes for a moment, thankful for the dark shades, before responding, "I'm aware."

"Well, okay, so have you met the Batman yet?" he asked, oblivious to my inner turmoil.

I was about to answer when Aqualad interrupted.

"Well, if you haven't, you're about to. Back to the cave, guys. Batman's summoning us."

"I heard you have a new team member. Why wasn't I informed immediately?"

"I am sorry. It was a rash decision but not one that I regret. Let me introduce you to the newest member of our team. Batman, this is Nightwing," Aqualad said, gesturing to me.

I tossed out a fake smile and said, "Nice to meet you, Batman. I've heard a lot."

He nodded. "Nightwing, from Blüdhaven. Active for the last five years. Put away a lot of criminals. Impressive record."

I think that was the first compliment he had ever given me. Figures.

"Thank you."

He didn't reply, just gave me a curt nod and turned to Tim.

"I have reports that the Joker is up to something. Let's go."

Then he turned and left, leaving me standing there unsure how to feel, and Tim scurrying after him just like I used to.

I was going to call it a night and go back to Blüdhaven when Aqualad said, "I almost forgot. You have a room here. Kid Flash, can you show him? I have to discuss something with Aquaman."

"Of course. Come on, Nightwing," Wally said good-naturedly.

We walked down the hall and passed a few rooms, one of them being my old one, before we got to the one right next to Wally's.

"We're neighbors!" he told me with a smile.

"Cool," I said as we walked into my new room, the door automatically sliding shut behind us.

He studied me for a moment before saying, "Okay, what's your deal?"

"What deal?"

"You just show up, you clearly know Barbara, you fight just like an old friend of mine, somehow you know your way around here, and honestly, it feels like you know me. But I think I'd remember if we'd met before," he said, that last part in a suspiciously flirty tone that really threw me, more so than his observations.

"Well, I do know Barbara. I hacked your schematics. I fight the way I fight, nothing I can do about that. And I think I just remind you of someone."

I could have told him. I should have told him. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"You have an answer for everything. And yes, you do remind me of someone. Someone I really cared about," he said softly, looking at me with some emotion in his eye I didn't want to name. It was gone pretty quickly though, replaced with something else I wasn't sure I wanted to confront.

He gave a low growl before saying, "You are just way too pretty," and shoving me against the wall, pressing his lips to mine before I even had time to react.

He only kissed me for a few moments before I recovered and started kissing him back. I didn't understand what was going on, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stop it. This was years of sexual tension being released, for me at least. I guess he just thought he was kissing some random guy he just met. Didn't matter much to me though. Wally was the one guy I just couldn't get out of my head. When I'd been Robin, I hadn't wanted to accept my sexuality, hadn't understood exactly what it meant when my breath quickened when he'd take off his shirt, why I wanted to hug him just a little longer, a little tighter than what was normal, how

 my pulse would race when he entered the room. Right before I'd left, it had finally clicked.

It was just me and Wally in the cave. That almost never happened. The rest of the team was off doing who knew what while Wally and I had been left to hold down the fort.

"What do you want to do?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I dunno. Spar?"

"Sure."

He ran at me before I could even blink, but I dodged, tripping him as he ran. He got back up though and came at me again. This time, he knocked me over. He had me pinned, his face just inches from mine, and I couldn't breathe. I wanted more than anything for him to close the distance and kiss me. The thought knocked me back to the present though, and I pushed him off me.

"We can always spar later. You hungry?"

So there I was, him kissing me, disproving every notion I'd had about his sexuality and the way he felt about me. Well, sort of. He thought he was kissing Nightwing, a guy he just met, a new member of the team. I was kissing my best friend. I pushed him away, looking at him quizzically.

"I thought you were straight."

"And I was hoping you weren't. Looks like I was right and you were wrong." He flashed me a cocky smile.

"Do you often kiss random guys you've just met?"

"Only when they look like you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

He shrugged and smiled again before walking away, leaving me staring after him like an idiot.

In my life, I've had two loves. One of them at the moment seems quite obvious. Now I'm not really saying I'm in love with Wally, but still, you get my point. The other love was Barbara. My first kiss, my first girlfriend, my first love. Now I know what you're thinking—wait, isn't he gay? But honestly, it's just not that simple. Babs and I had been on and off for years. When I left, we had been off, mostly because of my feelings for Wally—not that she knew that, of course. Anyways, my being back seemed to be stirring up a lot of things. So when she came into my room moments after Wally had left, I pulled her into my arms and just held her.

"I'm lost, Babs."

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I could do it, you know. I thought I could come back here, but I don't know what I'm doing."

She brought her arms around my back and started rubbing soothing circles.

"It's okay, Dick. I've got you."

"I've missed you, Barbara."

"I know. I've missed you too."

"I should talk to Batman."

"You should."

"But I just don't know if I can. I've been so mad at him for so long. It's hard to let go of that kind of anger. And knowing he's replaced me—not once, but twice—I just don't know, Barb."

"I know what you need."

"What's that?"

She leaned in and kissed me, long and slow. It was the kiss of someone who was revisiting old territory, familiar territory. I let her kiss me. Sure, there weren't the same sparks that I had with Wally, but Babs was familiar. Babs was home. She had been my first kiss. We had lost our virginities to each other. This was comforting. But as I kissed her, I couldn't help but compare it to kissing Wally. I pushed her away. "Damnit, Babs, I can't."

She looked up at me, understanding in her eyes. "It's him, isn't it? It always has been."

I sighed. "Nothing gets past you, does it?"

She smiled at me and gave me a long hug. "I'm here for you, Boy Blunder."

"Alright, team, I have a mission for you. As you remember, a few years ago you infiltrated Haly's Circus. Now I need you to go back. Haly has contacted me and asked that I send a team to investigate some recent criminal activity that seems to be following the circus. I'm sending Miss Martian, Superboy, Kid Flash, Artemis, Robin, Batgirl, and Nightwing. Miss Martian is leading."

He had to be kidding me.

"Now welcoming back the Daring Dangers! Dawn Danger, David Danger, Dean Danger, Daniel Danger, Damon Danger, Diane Danger, and Daphne Danger!"

Barbara and I, with our gymnastic training, swung from the trapezes. I felt at home. This was my home. It's where I grew up before Bruce took me in. This circus was my family. Being back there made me feel close to my parents. And without the illness brought on by the parasite, I was really enjoying it this time. The second I got back on the bar, it was like I'd never left. I flipped and spun like a pro. I had spent so much time fighting against my past, like it was a weakness. But at the end of the day, my past isn't my biggest weakness—it's my biggest strength. It's what makes me who I am. And no matter what this mission, the team, or Bruce could throw at me, that's something they can never take away.

After the first performance, we regrouped in the girl's cabin. I had a giddy smile on my face. Despite the reservations I'd had about coming here, I was having a great time.

"What's up with Nightwing's face?" Artemis asked jokingly.

I shot her a look but kept smiling. "I'm not Batman. I know how to smile."

That got a laugh from everyone. "Seriously though, it's just a really cool place."

"For sure. I'm glad I got to come this time," Wally agreed.

"Why didn't you come last time?" Miss M asked.

I stopped smiling, so did Wally.

"You know it wasn't actually a sanctioned mission," Artemis added.

"Yeah," Wally fidgeted, "This place had a personal connection to Robin," he paused before adding, "the first Robin."

"Wait a second, this is the circus? As in—" Tim started to say before Barb cut him off.

"Yes, it's that one."

"Whoa."

"What are you guys talking about?" Conner asked.

Wally sighed. "This is where Dick grew up."

That shut everyone up.

The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door. Miss M got up to answer it. To my surprise, C.C. Haly was standing on the other side of the door.

"Hey guys, just checking in, seeing how y'all are doing. Really appreciate you guys being here. Also, I was wondering if I could have a quick word with you, Dan." He said, looking at me with a wink. Shit.

"Oh, actually, I'm Dameon," I said to him.

He gave me a quizzical look before shrugging and saying, "Alright, a word?"

I got up and followed him out, walking to his office in silence.

"So it's Dameon this time, huh? It's good to see you, Dick. It's been too long," he said, pulling me into a hug.

"Good to see you too, Haly. How are things?"

He sighed. "Not good, Dick. It seems my past is catching up with me."

"How's that?"

"It's a long story. I've made a lot of mistakes over the years. But the biggest is what happened to you. I watched you grow up. I watched you learn to fly, kiddo. The others may not know who you really are, but I always have. And I know who you are now. It's not who you were supposed to be. Especially since all this was going to be your parents."

"You were giving them the circus?"

"Haly's is part of who you were supposed to be...what your family was supposed to be. Which is why I need you to know the truth, what I didn't tell you when I saw you five years ago. Why I'm in trouble now. It was always about you, Dick. What happened to your parents was never part of the plan, but looking at how it all turned out, I can't say you would have had a better life."

"How could you say that?"

"You have to listen to me. They're trying to kill us because of the secret, because of what this circus really is."

"What? What the hell is it?"

"A breeding ground."

"A what? Haly, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the Court of Owls and how you were supposed to be one of them."

"I was supposed to be what?" I exclaimed.

"A Talon. Every generation we present a crop of young boys, and they choose one. All those years ago, they chose you."

"This is crazy."

He didn't say anything, just gave me a look.

"Oh, alright, I get it. So now that I'm here, what do you want me to do?"

"It's Raymond."

"He's dead."

"No, he was chosen. After you left, they settled for him, and now he's back after all these years with a vendetta. I need your help."

"Okay, we'll keep you guys safe."

"What did he want with you?" Artemis asked when I got back.

"He just wanted to go over the mission."

"Then why didn't he just talk to all of us?" Miss M asked.

I shrugged. "I think he thought I was someone else."

That night, I snuck back out to the trapeze. It had been so long since I'd been on one that I couldn't seem to get enough. Jumping over rooftops was one thing, but in my heart, I was a performer. I was meant to be up here, sailing through the air. No net to catch me, no one to tell me I was being a show-off, just me, the

 trapeze, and that imaginary roaring crowd in my head. I'd been holding back earlier, trying not to give myself away to Haly, to the team. But Haly knew anyhow, and the team was nowhere in sight. Just me and the trapeze.

I was torn from my thoughts by the sound of someone clapping from below.

"Wow, that was really something. You know, I've only ever seen one person who could fly like that. You wouldn't happen to know an old friend of mine? Short, cocky, a little bit of a show-off. What was his name? Rick? Mick? Oh, wait, I know. Dick."

I swung over to the platform and climbed down to face her.

"Hey, Raya, long time no see."

"Well, whose fault is that? He doesn't write, doesn't call. It's almost like you didn't miss me at all," she said with a fake pout.

I smiled. "Oh, come on. It hasn't been that long."

"Five years, Dick Grayson. Five whole years since I've been the second-best aerialist here. That's too long to be the best. I think it's starting to go to my head," she winked as she said this.

"What can I say? I've been busy. The life of a billionaire's son is non-stop."

"That's funny because I haven't seen you in the papers in a while. You just seemed to drop off the face of the planet, and now here you are, Damien. It's almost like you're hiding from something, or is it someone? Trouble in paradise, maybe?"

"Leave it be, Raya. Can't you just be happy to see an old friend?"

"Secrets have a way of coming out, little bird. Look, I know you have your reasons, and I know it's hard for you to be here. So as someone who cares about you, I'll let it be. Just know I'm here if you want to talk." She gave me a hug and then walked off the way she had come.

I knew coming back here was a bad idea.

**Wally**

Nightwing has a great ass. I could write poetry about that ass, that is, if I was lame enough to write poetry, which psh, I'm totally not. So maybe a scientific formula: x = 2 = the square root of Nightwing's fantastic ass. Okay, I was doing something—something important before I started thinking about Nightwing's ass. Think, Wally. Oh yeah, I remember now. Gotta find Tim and that big-ass brain of his.

"Heyo, psst, Drake," I whispered, coming up behind him.

"I heard you coming like a mile away, West. What do you want?" Tim said to me, not even looking up from his computer screen.

"I need you to dig up some information on someone."

"Who?"

"Nightwing."

We were packing up after a show when it happened. How one guy could do so much damage was astounding. Before I had even blinked, he had thrown Superboy through a wall and tripped Wally over his own feet. Miss M tried to levitate him into a wall, but he set the ground around her on fire. That's when I stepped in. I threw a punch that he blocked, but that left me an opening to sweep his legs out from under him. He didn't go down that easily though. In a split second, he was back up and punching me in the face. I brought out my eskrima sticks and threw several blows, most of which he dodged, but I managed to slow him down a bit.

"So you can feel after all," I quipped as I threw another punch.

"Come with us and this will stop," the man said in a cold, dead voice, ducking my punch.

Oh no.

"What would you want with little old me?" I bluffed, dodging a well-aimed kick.

While I was distracting him, Robin came up from behind, hitting him with his bo staff, and Batgirl dropped from the ceiling.

He shook them off like it was nothing, tossing Babs aside and using Tim's momentum with the staff to swing him around into the wall.

"I am here for you, Gray Son of Gotham. You will come with me, or I will make this very painful for your friends," the Talon spoke slowly, approaching me.

Bang.

He crumpled. Behind him, Mr. Haly dropped the gun.

"Guess you didn't really need our protection after all."

I hadn't had a real conversation with him yet, so the mission briefing when we got back from the circus was somewhat nerve-wracking. For reasons unknown, Aqualad asked me to join him when he briefed Batman. I was both sad and relieved to be back from the circus. But to be honest, I'd been hiding there just as much as I was here. I stood in front of Batman, Aqualad by my side.

I felt twelve years old again, like this man still held control over my life. But standing there, staring him down, I realized he didn't. He did not have control over my life. I was my own man, and he had absolutely nothing to do with it. So I looked him in the eye, not as his sidekick but as a hero in my own right, and I gave him my mission briefing. I did not blink. I looked directly into the bat glare and I did not back down. He was the embodiment of my inner demons, and I faced him. I did not blink.

After the mission briefing, Batman left without a backward glance. Blink and he was gone. Some things never change. I could understand his lack of interest. As far as he knew, it had been a routine mission. Apparently, it didn't matter to him that it was the place I'd grown up. I wasn't surprised though. I had learned long ago that Batman had a heart of ice. I was long past letting it hurt me, or so that's what I tell myself anyway. Suddenly feeling restless, I told Kaldurh I was going to head out for the night. I really needed the time to get my head back together after the circus. Especially after learning Haly now planned on leaving it to me. Something I had failed to mention to Batman, or anyone but Babs, actually. I was still secretly afraid someone would put the pieces together. However, I knew people better than that. My identity was so far-fetched to them, so implausible, that they would never figure it out themselves. People are inherently self-interested. If you're busy wondering what others think of what you're wearing or how you act, chances are they're too busy thinking the same damn thing. That being said, I would expect a little bit more from superheroes, but in this case, it benefits me.

When I'm restless, training usually helps me, so I go to the gym and do just that. I'm about twenty minutes into taking out my aggression on a punching bag that's started to look a lot like Bruce when I hear someone clear their throat. Standing there, watching me with an unreadable expression, is the replacement.

It says somewhere that each Robin represents an aspect of Batman. Dick is his heart, because deep down, no one can really say he doesn't love fiercely, isn't motivated by love of the city, by the loss of those he loved most. Jason is his anger, because as controlled as he may be, he is still driven by rage. At the death of his parents, at the injustice of the world, at the criminals he puts away and the corrupt city that keeps letting them back out. Later comes Damian, his skill. From his flesh, trained brutally from birth, he possesses incredible ability tempered only by age and arrogance. Who could one day be a greater fighter? But Tim Drake is his intelligence. One of the few people alive, if not the only person alive, who could possibly outthink the world's greatest detective. While he lacks Damian's skill, Jason's rage, and Dick's passion, Tim is most like the big bad bat—the only one who could one day surpass him. Because what is talent and brute strength without a mind behind it? Batman would not be Batman without it.

**Tim's POV**

I may not be the fighter that Jason was or as passionate as Dick, but I am a far better investigator than either. It's how I became Robin in the first place. He is how I became Robin in the first place. I've known, in the back of my mind, I've known. It's only sheer stubbornness and knowing what it would do to the people I care about that has kept me from really acknowledging it. There was no way I wouldn't have known. So when Wally asked me to look into Nightwing, I had to face the facts. There is only one person in the world that moves the way Nightwing does.

Dick Grayson, the first Robin.

"You just gonna stand there like a creeper, or are you gonna say what's clearly on your mind?" I said to the replacement Robin lurking at the doorway.

"I know who you are."

I cocked an eyebrow at his statement, waiting for him to continue. He didn't.

"Do you now, little bird? Care to enlighten me?"

"Look, I'm here right now because I already figured you out, and then by association figured him out."

"You're talking around it, Timmy. Say what you're gonna say, or go."

To his credit, he didn't flinch when I dropped his name. Either he already knew I'd learned it or had a real good poker face. Both likely options for someone who trained with the Batman.

"I was there, the night your parents died. You did a flip, one I've never seen anyone else do, before or since. Which is how I knew Robin had to be the little boy from the circus and how I knew Nightwing had to be the presumed dead original Boy Wonder. I know you're Dick Grayson."

Well

, shit.

"Relax. I'm not going to run off and tell everyone," he continued, staring me down with that stoic bat glare.

"Then what was the point of this?" I asked, stepping towards the imposter Robin. "To intimidate me? To prove that you're better than me? The superior Robin?" With each word, I got closer to him until I was standing directly in front of him, looking down at the kid.

"No." Tim stared me down, unfazed by my proximity. "If I went and shared everything I learned, I'd just be a meddling replacement Robin. An outsider who never even met you. A kid who's barely been on this team a few months. No, I'm not going to spill your secret. However, I do think you should come clean. I may not be the original Robin, not even the second one, but I have eyes. You broke them. This team hasn't been the same since you left. And Batman? He's a shell of the man he used to be. You are the missing piece, the thing that keeps them going. Without you, they've fallen apart. So no, I am not going to tell them. They shouldn't hear it from me."

I don't know how he did it, but the kid's words really stuck with me. So much so that I found myself standing at the entrance of the Batcave, staring at the profile of the man who took me in when my parents died. Who raised me from age nine and taught me to fight. The man who, despite all that, could never see me as an equal, as anything other than a dumb kid, as a sidekick.

"I know you're there, so you might as well come out," he growled without looking away from the monitor.

Some things never change.

I stepped into the light and stood there until he turned around.

"Hey, Bruce. Long time no see."

"I was wondering when you'd come here."

I don't know what I expected, and some part of me wasn't surprised. But still, another part of me had hoped for a different reaction. Who was I kidding? He's Batman, for God's sake.

I let out a heavy sigh. "How long?"

"I suspected when Aqualad introduced you and confirmed it when I went over the briefing for your circus mission."

"So why didn't you say anything?"

He leveled me with that serious bat stare. "I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would come to me. Was I wrong?"

I ran my hand through my hair as I paced the Batcave. I'd forgotten how infuriating he could be.

"I don't even know why I came here."

"Why did you come back at all?"

"Don't do that, Bruce. It's not about you."

"I didn't say it was. I never thought you would come back for me. But your friends, I knew that was what would bring you back."

"Barbara told me you thought I was dead."

"Briefly. But I soon figured out what had really happened. I'm honestly disappointed in myself that it took that long. All the signs were there. I failed you, Dick. I know that now."

I was stunned. I didn't think Bruce was capable of admitting he was wrong.

"We were both young, inexperienced. I needed a father and you really did try, but you weren't ready for that. I realize that now. You did the best you could. That is why I'm here. It took me a long time, but I finally get it. You did the best you could."

"Dick."

"I don't know if we can overcome this, but if you are willing to try, maybe we could get somewhere."

And there it was, the emotion I secretly wanted but never really thought I'd get. Surprise. I surprised the Batman, and to be honest, it felt good.

After talking to Bruce, I felt better than I had in ages. It gave me hope. Hope that I can be honest and everything will work out. I should know better.

We're patrolling Gotham. We had received some cryptic message from Batman telling us we were needed, so a small team went—myself, Kid Flash, Miss M, Artemis, Superboy, and Aqualad. We decided the younger members should sit this one out. Robin and Batgirl were MIA, which is concerning especially since Batman doesn't like outsiders patrolling his city, so something is definitely up. We're investigating an abandoned warehouse we heard some noise complaints about when we're attacked. She dives down from the rafters coming directly for me. When I look at her, I immediately know why. Dressed in a bad knockoff of my costume with twin swords instead of eskrima sticks and sporting a white face and maniacal smile, clearly the work of Joker toxin, is Raya.

"No..." I whispered.

"Raya!" I shouted, hoping to snap her out of it even though I knew better.

She didn't respond. She just laughed uncontrollably and came at me again.

"Isn't that the girl from the circus?" I heard Wally say, looking at M'gann and Artemis questioningly.

"I think so. What the hell is going on?" Artemis exclaimed. I didn't answer. I was too busy trying not to get stabbed by my childhood friend.

"Raya, listen to me!" I yelled, dodging another strike. "This isn't you. Fight through it! Fight—" She cut me off with a kick to the stomach. Still laughing, I flipped back onto my feet and kept trying. "Raya, it's me! You know me!"

She just laughed and tried again, this time drawing blood. My teammates stood staring in shocked silence, unsure what to do. I kept trying to get through to her, but it was too late. Her body's breaking down, rejecting the Joker toxin. She's not laughing, she's screaming. She falls to the ground and I run to her. "Raya!"

She's dying. "Stay with me, Raya. Stay with me!"

I have no idea what formula the Joker used, no idea if an antitoxin will work. Still, I grabbed the one I still carry with me every time I'm in Gotham and tried anyway.

It didn't work. She looked at me, fading.

"I'm so sorry," I told her.

She managed a weak smile. "It's okay, Grayson. I forgive you."

Then she's gone. I tried CPR to no avail until I noticed through a tear in the suit that there's writing carved into her stomach:

**What: A surprise party!

Where: The nest you abandoned!

Hosted by: Dear old dad (not the dead one, haha)

Welcome home, bird boy!**

My whole body froze up after reading what the Joker carved into Raya's stomach. My blood ran cold, and I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath before I could turn and face the team. They stared at me with shocked looks, ranging from Superboy's confused face to the incredulous look in Artemis' eyes, to the sad clarity I saw from Kaldurh and M'gann. I couldn't bring myself to look at Wally, so I pulled up my wrist computer to hack the comms in Tim and Barbara's suits, but all I got was static. Their locations both pinged the Batcave, confirming what I already knew when I read the Joker's message. Somehow he'd figured out not only my identity, but Bruce, Barbara, and Tim's as well. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, knowing what I had to do but terrified of what was waiting for me at the Batcave.

Artemis was the one who broke the silence. "What. The actual fuck just happened?"

No one said anything for a moment until Miss M spoke up. "R-Robin? That's who you are, isn't it? She was from the circus. She knew you. She was wearing your costume. And the Joker, he sent her as a message," she gestured to Raya's body, "the nest you abandoned. The Batcave. Bird boy. Robin."

I let out another deep sigh. Then I reached up and pulled my mask off. Even though Wally's the only one who's ever seen my eyes, it felt like the right move.

"I was going to tell you guys. I just needed to work out my personal issues first. I didn't plan on any of this happening. I certainly didn't know you guys thought I was dead. When I left, it was mostly to escape Batman. To escape my problems. To escape Robin and everything that he represented. You guys were a constant reminder of all that, and I just needed to get away. I never meant to hurt you guys. I was young and selfish and scared. I've grown a lot as a person since then, but it was so easy to hide behind this mask, behind being Nightwing, this accomplished adult hero who nobody knew anything about. I was afraid telling you guys would pull me back to that dark place I was in when I left. I was scared. And as much as I know we need to talk about this more, I need to go face whatever horrible thing the Joker has waiting for me at the Batcave."

"You are correct. We do need to discuss this more at a later time. If I have read this situation correctly, two members of our team and a member of the Justice League are in great danger. M'gann, call the bioship. We're going to the Batcave."

No one spoke on the way to the Batcave other than me giving directions and briefing them on everything I knew about the Joker.

"I don't know what we're about to walk into, guys. Stay sharp and keep your rebreathers in. He might not look like much, but he is the single worst villain I have ever encountered," I told them as we touched down outside the manor.

"We know. He murdered Jason," Superboy growled.

Right, the actual replacement. The one who really

 died. I shook my head. That's a problem for another day.

"Alright. Nightwing goes in first through the tunnel entrance. Kid Flash and I will follow him. Miss Martian, Superboy, and Artemis will go in through the manor and wait in the wings until Nightwing gives the signal. Miss M, link us up," Aqualad told them as we exited the ship.

When we reached the tunnel entrance, I put in my rebreather and nodded at Kid Flash and Aqualad, ignoring the twinge in my gut when Wally wouldn't meet my eyes.

I peered into the darkness. I heard noises coming from the caves leading to the Batcave, the ones with flint in the walls.

'They're not in the Batcave. Come around to the tunnels but wait for a signal,' I reported through the mental link.

I continued on, sticking to the shadows, trying to get a closer look. My breath stalled when I saw them. They were all bound and tied to chairs around a large wooden table, their heads covered with hoods that, as I was watching, were pulled off, revealing their faces covered in bloody bandages. Alfred came out from the shadows. He was too pale and had a menacing smile etched onto his face. He set a covered tray in front of each of them. I could see the sheer terror in their eyes at the prospect of what might be in it, as the Joker himself had recently cut off and sewn his face back on. I looked over and saw Bruce sitting in a large electric shock chair at the head of the table, the only one without the bandages. From the looks of him, the Joker had already made use of the chair.

Alfred lifted the lids from the trays. My stomach lurched and I set a hand on the cave wall for support.

'Are you okay? What do you see? Nightwing, should we go now?' Aqualad spoke in my mind.

I took a deep breath. 'Not yet.'

I don't think I have ever seen Bruce look so terrified before. He's always been so composed, so stoic, no matter what the situation. But I don't think any sane person could stay composed in this situation.

"Joker, what have you done?!" The exclamation ripped itself from Batman as he gazed helplessly at his protégés.

"What have I done? Well, I've simply dressed them for the party! Or rather, undressed them. Taken off the clothes that have been invisible to everyone but you, my king. Exposed them," the Joker explained, laughing maniacally. "I hope you like it, everyone! I made it with lots of love!"

"How could you!" Batman yelled, straining against his restraints.

"How? It was easy, Bats. Just slice, pull, chill, and serve. They come off so easy too. There's nothing beneath these pretty things. After all, they're not like you and me, you see. Not under the skin. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Why I did this to my own sweet mug just to show you!"

"I hate nothing more on this earth than you, Joker. Nothing."

"Haha, oh, I beg to differ. If that's so, then why, pray tell, have you never killed me?"

Batman ground his teeth and recited the same reason he always had. What he always said when anyone questioned why he continued to let that scum of the earth breathe, when he inevitably escaped every time Batman locked him up and did something even more deadly, more gruesome and depraved: "Because you'd win."

"I love that one. Woo, right, because I'd win. No, see, this, this is how I win, Bats... by living. By keeping on keeping on. What you just said, that you don't do it because I'd win, that's what you tell yourself, that's what you tell them because you don't want to admit the truth, the bad news of your own soul. That and the slippery slope. You kill me, then snap, and what's to keep you from killing all us baddies and going on a downright spree??!" He paused and got closer to Bruce. "Hehe, but then answer me this, how did I know? How did I know that you'd never tell them about this, about how I'd been in your little HQ? Because we have an understanding. Because the truth of it, Bats, is that you love me more than them. You want me to kill them, like I did the last little birdie. They're ungrateful anyways, always leaving you. Or maybe that's just the first one. Oh, where is he? Did he lose his invite? Oh, woo hoo! Circus boy! Oh, poo, I'd really hate for him to miss this, because you see, Bats, I'm going to carry out your wish. I'm going to set you free!" Joker laughed and held up a lighter, bringing the stinging smell of gasoline and the flint walls of the cave I had forgotten about back to the front of my mind.

Since they're not in the cave like I had originally thought they'd be, we can't expect any help right now from Artemis, Miss M, and Superboy. I'm thankful Miss M is clear though.

'Okay, Aqualad. He's going to set the place on fire. But we're underneath a large reservoir of water. I'm going to blow up a part of the ceiling. You use the water to put out the fire. KF, get everyone out. I'll handle the Joker.'

Without waiting for a response, I ran into the cave just as he dropped the match and hurled an explosive at a part of the cave wall I knew would have the best effect. Water poured down into the cave and I saw Aqualad directing it to extinguish the flames in the most effective way. Kid Flash rushed a struggling Alfred out of the cave.

"Restrain him!" I yelled as I made my way towards the Joker. "He's been brainwashed."

I think I heard Kid Flash grunt in acquiescence, but I was too busy punching the Joker in what's left of his face.

"You bastard," I growled, picking him up by his shirt and shoving him into the wall.

He just smiled. "Oh, so you did get my invite after all, bird boy! I'm so happy you could make it!"

I slammed his head against the wall. "You sick son of a bitch. You're going to pay for this!"

"Ooh, goody. Are you gonna do what your dear old dad can't do? The son surpassing the father. Oh, what a happy moment. I'm honored to be responsible for it. You can name your firstborn after me in gratitude! Little Joker Junior. Haha, because I know your name, but you don't know mine. Ha ha ha ah ha!"

I shoved him again and was about to knock his lights out when Batman grabbed my arm.

"This is my fight, Dick. Go check on Tim and Barbara. I don't believe he actually cut their faces off. It was all a big joke, a plan to break me without actually harming them. I also imagine you have some things to talk about with your friends. Go. I'll handle him."

"Oh, how sweet. Bats wants to be alone with me. If that's what you wanted, all you had to do was ask! It was my whole plan anyway, you know. Get rid of the brats so it could just be the two of us," Joker cooed in a sing-song voice. How I wanted to bash his face in again.

"Go, Dick. We'll talk later," Batman ordered, not taking his eyes off the scumbag I had pinned to the wall.

I sighed and let go, taking satisfaction in watching him crumble to the ground, and turned to leave. As I was walking out, I heard Batman use a tone that made his usual bat growl seem like child's play.

"Enough."

I heard the Joker scramble up off the ground. "Ah, I see. A dance then!"

"No more dances."

I stopped and turned, watching as the Joker backed up slowly, towards the water.

"Haha, then just the quarrel, then!"

"No more quarreling." Batman advanced slowly, letting him gain some distance, but not too much.

"What...what do you mean? Heh." Joker had made it to the last wall still standing before the cave ended in a cliff where the water flows into the darkness.

"No more of any of it...not this time."

"Is this because I tried to kill your precious little family? They're dragging you down, Bats. They're killing you. I was trying to do you a favor! They make you—"

Batman cut him off. "They make me stronger."

"Haha, liar. They don't make you anything but...you know what, maybe I was wrong. Maybe your true face has changed. Let's see!" I'm too far away to do anything as the Joker sprays Batman with acid from the flower on his lapel. While Batman is impaired, he makes a run for it. I honestly can't say if he knew the cliff was there or not, but I watched as he went over the edge. Bruce, who I didn't even see move, was suddenly there and grabbed his hand.

"Not that way, Joker. Not by accident."

"So how about it? How about tonight I go farther with you than I've ever gone? How about I stop the game once and for all?"

"You love it! Deny it all you want, but you love—"

Batman cut him off. "I did it, Joker. This year, when you were gone, I finally deduced who you were...before."

"You're lying!" the Joker shrieked. "You're playing my own game!"

"Your name, your history, your family, all of it. Here, I'll whisper it to you." Bruce pulled him up so his face was inches from the Joker's. "Whisper it right into your little ear... Darling."

After all this, after everything he's done, every time Batman has beat him to a pulp, he always had a smile on his face, always had a laugh. For the first time since he lost his mind, the Joker finally looked scared.

"No," he choked out.

"Who you are underneath the grin," Batman continued, "who you really are under there."

The Joker began to struggle, fighting against the iron grip Batman had on him. "Stop it! I'm not listening!"

"Your name, Joker, your real name is..."

The Joker got his hand free and shocked Batman in the face with his buzzer ring. "SHUT UP!" He screamed as the shock caused Batman to release him, and he once more fell over the edge. This time, Batman wasn't fast enough to save him, his hand reaching out into the abyss, coming up just a hair too short to catch him again.

"No!" Bruce yelled as his personal demon fell into the darkness.

Not like this, I thought to myself as I finally turned to go, leaving him staring after his greatest foe, probably wondering, what now?

I'm wondering the same thing as I go to face my own demons, only mine are of my own making.

**Wally's POV**

I don't know how to feel. On the one hand, my best friend, who was also the guy I was secretly in love with, came back from the dead and, bonus, likes dudes, likes me, at least sexually, that is. On the other hand, I feel betrayed. He abandoned us, abandoned me. He let us think he was dead for years and then came back and didn't tell us who he was. Just pretended to be this mysterious sexy badass. Did I say sexy? Getting off track. He let us believe he was a stranger, let us mourn him, tossed us to the side like we didn't mean anything at all. Like I didn't mean anything at all. He was my best friend, I was in love with him, and he just walked away. I have no idea what to say to him now, how to be around him, let alone trust him.

I'm torn from my thoughts by a mostly recovered Barbara patting my shoulder. "How are you doing, Wally?" she asked in a quiet, reassuring voice.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" I joked.

"Wally," she said with a stern voice, staring me down with those bay eyes until I talked.

"Fine, okay, I'm freaking out. It's Dick! My best friend, my dead best friend, and he's back and tall and hot and that ass..." I trailed off, blushing and looking away. I could hear Barbara giggling softly next to me.

"Oh, trust me, I noticed too. He was my first boyfriend, remember? It's a shame he didn't look like that when we dated. You're lucky."

I raised an eyebrow. "One, how do you know about that? And two, lucky isn't exactly the word I'd use."

"Hey, I might have been the girlfriend back then, and you might have been the best friend, but now I'm the best friend and you're—"

I interrupted her. "Nothing. I mean, I guess maybe a piece of ass or whatever, but nothing more than that." I sighed.

"Is that really what you think, Wally? That he doesn't care about you anymore? And before you cut me off, I was going to say that I'm the best friend and, yeah, you're not the boyfriend, but I know for a fact that's what he wants. That's always been what he wants, Wally. The guy has been in love with you for years. Trust me, I dated him, I know."

I shook my head. "Yeah, right. He's got some way of showing it."

She squeezed my arm. "Look, I could talk about how much that guy cares about you until I'm blue in the face. And yeah, I know what he did was shitty, but you should really let him explain himself. I'm not saying it's gonna magically fix everything, but you guys are long past overdue for a conversation about your feelings. Your whole relationship is like one big missed high-five of miscommunication. Personally, I blame that on your gender. Y'all really need to work on communication. That goes for straight men too. Women like words, and everyone likes to know exactly where they stand. You guys assuming shit about each other is what got you into this mess."

She has a point, mostly. "Alright, I'll talk to him. But you have to cut teenage me some slack. It's not easy being gay in high school, and the idea that Dick would reject me, that he would look at me differently and not want to be friends anymore was too much of a risk for the slim possibility that he liked guys at all, let alone me. I didn't want to lose my best friend. Life is a bitch that way, huh? 'Cause I lost him anyway."

Babs pulled me into a hug, squeezing me way tighter than a girl her size should be capable of. "It'll work out, Wally, you'll see," she said with a smile as she got up to leave.

"I hope so, Babs. I hope so."

I was in the training room, beating the crap out of a dummy, trying to find the right words to say to Wally when he found me. Since I've been found out, I'm not wearing a mask, which makes me feel exposed. The fact that I'm also shirtless isn't helping either.

"What did that dummy ever do to you?" he joked, but it was strained. He was smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

I stopped pummeling the dummy and turned to face him. No time like the present, I guess.

"We need to ta—" I started saying the same time he said, "Dick, I think we need to talk."

We both laughed awkwardly before I let him continue.

"I guess you agree. Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm fucking pissed. Beyond that, I'm hurt, Dick. I was your best friend, and you just left, just let me think you were dead. I mourned you. Hell, I never stopped. But I talked to Barbara, and she convinced me to hear you out. I deserve to know why, anyways. And while I don't think there's anything you can say to fix this right now, I do think that for once we need to be on the same page if there's going to be any chance that we can mend our relationship. We need to be honest, both of us. I'll start. Dick, I was in love with you. I never said anything because I didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell that you felt the same way."

I stood stunned. I mean, I know now that he likes guys, but this, this I did not expect. I felt so stupid. I let out a sigh and cleared my thoughts. I couldn't focus on that right now. He said he was in love with me, not that he is anymore. Why would he be?

"I had no idea. I was so confused and embarrassed back then. I had no idea how to deal with liking guys, let alone my best friend. By the time I realized it wasn't normal and that, as far as I knew, you liked girls—exclusively girls—you were like the straightest guy I knew. But by then, it was too late. I was in love with you. I had been since before I even knew what love was. When you started dating Artemis, I was crushed. So I tried to ignore my feelings. I dated Barbara, and I did love her, just not in the same way. I tried to pretend that it was enough, that I could live that way. It was comfortable, but something was missing. That spark, the one I only ever felt when I looked at you. So I ended things with Babs. It wasn't fair to her, anyway, and I told her everything. She was the first person I had ever admitted it to. I had a hard time even admitting it to myself. So for a while there, it was good. You and Arty left the team, so I didn't have to see you guys together all the time, and I finally had someone to confide in. But my feelings for you weren't the only problems I had. Things were reaching a breaking point at home. I'm surprised we'd made it as long as we did. Don't get me wrong; things weren't always bad. Things were good in the beginning, when I was younger and he was happier. But as I got older, things got more and more strained. He wanted a sidekick, someone he could control, not an equal, certainly not the partner I was supposed to be. Bruce isn't my dad. I never have nor will I ever think of him that way. I had a father, and he was amazing. And it's not that Bruce couldn't be a father; he could, just not mine. He was so young when he took me in. Age-wise, he's more like a way older sibling. He wasn't ready to be a parent anyway. He still had a lot of growing up to do himself. Not to mention, he never moved on from the death of his parents and probably never will. It's what drives him, and he took me in because he thought I would be just like him. But I'm not. I still mourn my parents, but I moved on. I didn't let it define me. I didn't let it be my driving force. Instead, I chose to walk a different path. I mean, I obviously still rock the mask and tights, but it's not my whole life, and I don't live in the darkness like he does. I choose to see the light, the good in people, the good in this world. I choose

 not to let what I do taint the way I see the world. And unlike Batman, I see shades of gray. That ended up being a big factor in our falling out. One day we just got into it—no holds barred, full-on yelling match that ended with me throwing my mask and cape at his feet and walking out the door. After that, I went to the only place I could think of: the cave. When I arrived, I saw everyone in the training rooms, and you and Artemis were there. Before I walked in, I stood outside for a minute and overheard you were rejoining the team, which I was both elated and crushed to hear. I was about to go welcome you back when I heard Kaldurh ask you when you were planning on popping the question. I had desperately hoped you'd just laugh and say 'yeah right' or something, but then you started talking about where and how, and I felt my heart shatter. I ran out of there before anyone saw me and never looked back. I never thought you guys would think I died. I figured Bruce would tell everyone I quit, and you guys would figure out that I'd left. There were so many times over the years that I wanted to reach out to everyone, but I just couldn't stand the idea of hearing about how happy you and Artemis were, about your wedding, and if you had kids. Every time I imagined it, I could feel my heart splinter. So I learned to push it all to the back of my mind and just work on myself. I did a damn good job of it too, that is until you guys found me on that rooftop. The rational thing to do would have been to say no and just go on my merry way, but no, I saw you on that rooftop and I had to be around you again. But so much time had passed and I wasn't ready to deal with the Batman of it all, and no one recognized me, so I just went with it. I am incredibly sorry for all the pain I caused you. It was never my intention. I was young and hurting. I felt like everything in my life was falling apart, and I needed to get out. If I had known how you felt about me, I never would have left. Not that I blame you for not saying anything, because I did the same thing. I just want you to know I would have never left if I knew. I thought you'd be better off. You had Artemis. I was just your sad younger friend with a hopeless crush. I really am sorry, Wally. I wish we could just start over."

Wow, I let out a breath, feeling a thousand pounds lighter. Wally just stood there for a moment, taking in everything I just said before he stuck out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Wally West. It's nice to meet you."

I felt a goofy smile spreading across my face as I put my hand in his. "Dick Grayson, and it's really nice to meet you too, Wally."