Work Text:
we mix like water and oil
genre: romance / drama
theme: HEARTSTEEL AU
main characters: Kayn & You / Reader
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Prologue
What is the first thing that comes to mind when hearing about Shieda Kayn?
Dude, you serious? This guy is the stupidest monkey ever walking on the surface of this earth. I don’t know him too well, and I don’t want to get to know him either. It’s enough that we know each other. And by knowing him enough as it is by now, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s an empty-headed ape, using that dick of his for spreading his stupid genetics around in condoms, throwing away potential babies. Well, that is, if he uses condoms obviously. Not that I care.
And were it not for my best friend that ape is crushing on, I would’ve never gotten in his close vicinity. Why do I need some blockheaded music major in my life, messing up my nights and fucking my brains in the daytime?
No, sir, I do not need such things. And, as to answer your question, Shieda Kayn is an ass. And I regret the day I met him.
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Your POV
Let me get this straight. He was no Prince Charming and I was no damsel in distress. We weren’t brilliant people – fine, he was a music prodigy, a pop prince if you will – but I was no drop-dead gorgeous babe batting my eyelash extensions and having guys fall at my feet. Granted, we’ve both had our passing moments of fame. But uni, exams, social life, parties and hobbies mean the world for us. It was the same thing in our teenage days, but now upgraded with sex, alcohol and a bunch of other stupid things.
I’ve done many questionable things in my life, I must confess, but probably the highest on my list was to believe a certain someone’s words, when being told that even someone as broken like me can be loved. It’s silly, I know. Everyone yearns to be loved, more or less to love. I don’t know, I think that, to me, love is a weakness. Only when in love you’d give up yourself for another’s wellbeing. And then you get screwed over in most of the cases. I mean, that’s what happens in most of the cases, right?
And yet, I didn’t believe you when you were in front of me, declaring your purest feelings towards me. I never knew things like this; I never knew people could become this close, that a heart can be filled with something else, other than blood and pain.
I did not know... And I’m sorry for not believing in you either.
Then again, you must be curious what I’m babbling about, so I will explain. It all began one sunny day in late May, early June, when my best friend and flat-mate Syndra decided to hang out with some of her friends from the music department. We both study Literature, so spending time with real people, who are not bookworms or morally grey fictional men who’d burn the world for us is a nice change. And how Syndra met them, I have no idea. Apparently they’re friends with her new boyfriend, I have no idea.
Well then, walking arm in arm on the hot streets of the city, sunglasses covering our eyes and half of our faces, we are heading towards the meeting point with those guys. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’ve only met Zed thrice, I think, but given the fact that Syndra and him have been dating for a couple of weeks, I think it’s enough. It’s not like I want to get to know him antwat, especially since Syndra usually changes boyfriends like her bras.
“Oh, there he is,” my friend exclaims with a smile, excitement building up in her as she notices the giant from the other side of the street. I chuckle and nod at her words.
There is Zed indeed, with two other guys, waiting for us. As we approach them, they notice us and a stupid smile widens on the guy’s face usually stern face, the other two guys rolling their eyes at him. Lol, that’s pretty much my reaction whenever Syndra talks about him.
“Babe!” Syndra exclaims cheerfully and jumps into his arms, Zed placing those long arms around her middle and pressing his lips against hers lovingly.
Awww! They’re so cute – not.
After their make-out session ends, Zed greets me and I return the gesture, and then he proceeds on turning to his friends, to introduce me to them and vice-versa.
“This is Jhin,” he motions towards a darker-skinned man, tall, handsome with luring eyes and hair blacker than midnight. This guy’s hot, I must confess. The one called Jhin looks at me, smiles briefly and we shake hands as I also tell him my name. “And Kayn,” Zed then looks at his other friend, the guy who’s been intently staring at Syndra ever since the two of us came into view. He’s giving off punk boy vibes, with red hair and mismatched eyes.
Kayn puts on a bored face when looking at me and nods shortly, only to look away afterwards. Dude’s got manner problems, I suppose. Then again, I don’t pay much attention to him and eventually, the five of us head towards the café.
Syndra and Zed are sickly lovey-dovey and it nearly makes me puke my strawberry cocktail. Then again, my friend’s happiness is also my happiness, more or less. And besides, they’re mostly in their own world, so I’m left conversing with Jhin pretty much, since the Asshole hasn’t done much aside from smoking cigarette after cigarette and playing some mobile game on his phone.
As I light my second cigarette, I catch Jhin’s warm glance. I raise a brow questioningly. “Smoking can be dangerous.” He says softly.
I nod at him and light it anyway. “Every pleasure in life is dangerous, if you allow it to be.” I then reply in a rather bored manner.
He chuckles and drinks from his own beverage. There’s no alcohol in our beverages, no worries. “Anything can be a pleasure, if you label it as such.”
A mischievous smile spreads on my lips. This guy knows what’s going on. And he likes games, huh? Then again, I’m not very in the mood to flirt and stuff, not after finding out that the bastard I’ve been dating for two years has cheated on me with someone who’s supposedly my ‘upgrade’. So yeah, to me right now, all men are insufferable assholes.
“What is life without pleasure?” I retort in a bored way, inhaling some nicotine and stealing a glance at Kayn. I’ve noticed him looking at Syndra every now and then, quick looks stolen and then proceeding to go back to that stupid game.
But this time, however, our eyes meet and we stare at one another for a few seconds, before I shake my head in disapproval and look away. Guys can be so transparent.
Guys can be so heartless.
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So, I think I found the reason why Syndra is so into this Zed guy. One month after meeting Jhin and that Kayn guy, Zed has invited the two of us over at his place, one afternoon, to play games. And no ordinary games, but League of Legends. I mean, I knew he was playing, and that he was Grandmaster, while Syndra never played soloq and I somehow managed to crawl into Diamond 2, but I’ve only recently found out that Jhin and Kayn play LoL too. Much to my surprise.
Anyways, making ourselves comfortable in his living room, the boys with their might setups and us girls with borrowed laptops, we decided to play League of Legends.
Zed and Syndra would obviously go bot, with Zed as the ADC and Syndra his support, Jhin said he was going top, and Kayn and I started to fight for mid.
“Huh, what? No. I want to go mid. I suck as a jungler.” I say angrily and cross my arms over my chest.
“I don’t care. Let me mid and I’ll carry this team.” Kayn said, equally stubbornly.
I was beginning to sulk, when Zed has spoken up. “Kayn, let her mid.”
And it’s been decided.
The game was going pretty smoothly, even though Kayn wouldn’t help me out in most cases and when he did, I was the one doing the killing and he lashed out at me, saying how I stole the kills and whatnot. It’s funny, really, the way he gets all worked up because of a normal game, and when it comes to massacring the enemy team. It’s a win for us, of course.
“Well, it’s clearly not because of her that we won.” He puts on a smartass attitude afterwards, while we were chilling on Zed’s veranda, enjoying the weather and coffee.
I roll my eyes and look at him judgingly. “Don’t be so ego-centered, we all had a say in this victory.”
Kayn snorts in a rather ugly manner and puts out his cigarette. “You flirting with Jhin was of no help either. It only got him killed.”
“Dude, you serious? We weren’t flirting.” I reply with annoyance, much to everyone’s amusement.
Kayn imitates my words with grimaces and I have a sudden urge to punch him in the face.
“Well, maybe he’s pissed because he couldn’t flirt with you himself.” Jhin says and at his words, both Zed and Syndra burst out in laughter while Kayn and I look at him in sheer terror.
“What the fuck Jhin, why would I want to flirt with that fox?” The Asshole asks raging, while pointing at me.
“Hold on. Why would I want him to flirt with me? Just look at this lazyass. Seriously.” I shake my head in annoyance.
Kayn glares at me and I glare back. “Cunt.”
He’s pissing me off so much! How can Jhin and Zed stand this guy? Like seriously! He’s such a pain in the ass. I don’t think there’s a person who annoys me as much as Shieda Kayn does.
“Since Kayn can’t do the proper flirting, obviously. Why do you think he’s in Master, cause he gets all the girls?” Zed joins and we all laugh out loud again, and I simply love how everyone fucks with him.
Kayn is obviously pissed, but says nothing more, even though his ears turn a bit red. Well, serves him right.
“Anyways, I think we should get going...” Syndra says rather sadly, as she glances up to Zed.
They share a look, and from the way Zed looks at her, I know, he truly likes her. Oh, wait, it’s more than simply liking, it’s certainly love. And I also know Syndra wouldn’t come home tonight.
“Well, anyways, I’m off to go.” I say simply, deciding not to put Syndra through a rough time by deciding between him and I, so I get up to my feet, and shortly afterwards, so does Jhin.
I say my goodbyes to Syndra, whispering in her ear to be careful, and well, leave Zed’s place with Jhin and Kayn as well. He’s all grumpy as we head to the bus station, and since his bus comes faster than Jhin’s and mine, the boys quickly say farewell as well. Kayn looks at me for a moment then turns his back at me and gets on the bus.
I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, trying not to be affected by this brainless monkey. I mean, he could’ve at least said ‘goodbye’ or something, it’s not like I’m going to eat him, for heaven’s sake!
“I know Kayn can be an idiot at times...” I hear Jhin say a few minutes later, while we wait for our bus. “But that’s just his way of keeping himself safe.”
I snort at that. “Am I a possible threat now, or what?”
The boy hesitates to answer for a few moments and just as I’m about to convince myself the matter is closed, he speaks again. “Recently he broke up with the only girl he has ever loved. They got into a fight and she cheated on him.”
Ouch. That sounds roughly familiar to my ears. Cheaters, cheaters are everywhere apparently.
“How long have they been dating?” I see the bus coming and Jhin and I get ready.
“For about half a year, give or take.” He says as we get seated. Jhin and I are headed mostly the same way, but I get off sooner.
“However, I see the way he looks at Syndra.” I say thoughtfully, forgetting that it’s Jhin who listens.
He looks at me shortly and a small smile appears on his face. “He doesn’t look at her the way Zed does. He just doesn’t want him to get hurt.” I shrug. “And besides, it cannot compare to the way he looks at you...”
At that I glare at him with a ‘are you kidding me face’, but he just chuckles it away.
“Never mind me. At any rate, he’s just an overly cautious and paranoid guy.”
“And a weirdo.” I add, making a face.
Jhin chuckles once again. “And a weirdo.” He agrees with me.
Shortly after I have to get off, so Jhin and I say goodbye, him even hugging me in a friendly manner.
Okay, so Kayn and I supposedly have some things in common. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s still a jackass to me.
Or that I’d shred him to pieces the next time he pisses me off. Starting with his balls.
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Apparently, Syndra’s upcoming birthday has given me one or two more surprises. One unexpected thing was receiving a friend request on social media from Shieda Kayn and him sheepishly asking me what to buy for Syndra. Mind me, even though we’ve known one another for a good couple of months now, he never showed interest in talking to me separately or stuff like that.
So anyways, I give him a few suggestions about what Syndra likes and here comes the second surprise. He actually thanked me, even. I mean, it’s a forced act of politeness, because he needed something from me, but still.
Jumping to the night of her birthday, it’s nothing fancy actually. We’ve met at our place with our closest circle of friends – including the known trio and some of Zed’s other friends – and we drank a bit and fooled around, only to go party in town afterwards.
Syndra looks stunning, I must confess. She wears a lilac dress, with embroidered flowers, and her long hair falling in gorgeous curls – my masterpiece by the way – and it’s obvious how much Zed loves the way she looks. Honestly, I haven’t had that much time to get ready, since I wanted Syndra to be the prettiest, so I have a simple black dress on, a bit of make-up and my dull hair looks… dull as always. It doesn’t matter though, as long as Syndra outshines everyone else.
In the club, we drink, dance, rest, and pick up the same routine again. Much to my surprise, Jhin is a hell of a dancer. And yes, mostly I’ve danced with him, because I feel the most comfortable around him.
“You look pretty.” He tells me with a smile, as we wait by the bar for our drinks.
I look up at him and smile. “Thank you.” I look like my usual dull self. I mean, I like to be feminine and wear make-up and dresses and heels, but for some reason, it didn’t stick with me tonight.
“Syndra is beautiful as well.” I am pretty and Syndra is beautiful, you say? I know that, of course I do. I intentionally didn’t try to look all glamorous and shining, but still, the compliments are on a different scale and it stings a bit.
However, just as we get our drinks, I notice Kayn walking up to us, and he looks at me a moment longer, before turning to Jhin and asking what are we having.
“Tequila,” he replies and then Kayn also orders one for himself. And the three of us drink up.
We’re having fun, more or less, Syndra and Zed being inseparable as usual, so I go around and chat with my other friends as well, since we have a booth reserved, but... In my sudden movements, such as looking around, picking up my glass or putting out the cigarette, I notice Kayn stealing glances at me. I wonder why, am I that ugly that he wants to put me in a museum? Or maybe he wants to mummify me.
At any rate, I don’t bother myself with him and try to enjoy myself as much as possible. I head to the dance floor with a few girl friends, and we dance without a care, still feeling a certain ape’s eyes on me, when suddenly, someone grabs my arm and jerks me around.
I wear heels and I nearly twist my ankle at that. To balance myself, I grip a friend’s shoulder while I look up at the one who’s so rough. And why am I not surprised? My heart nearly stops in my chest as I look at him, having no words whatsoever to say. What, and I beg your pardon, can you say? Just what?
“Beautiful as always,” my ex says with a devilish grin and leans towards me, trying to kiss me.
I make a face, release my arm from his grip and give his chest a push. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I ask him with disgust.
He cocks a brow upwards and then puts on a sad face.
“I missed you. And it feels like fate running into you here, of all possible places and tonight, even. And seeing you reminds me of how much I’ve missed you.” He comes closer to me, and since everyone around us is dancing and whatnot, it’s only to his advantage. My friends have gone off somewhere as well, so I’m left all alone with this brute.
I try to run away, but he grabs me by my hair, pulling me towards him and with a scream, I succumb. I’m against his front and the tears form in my eyes. He puts his other hand around me, feeling my chest first and then resting it over my stomach.
“I miss that gorgeous body under, on top of me, that mouth of your and its wonders, I miss being inside of you. I mean, my girl is good, but nothing compares to you, bunny.”
I want to throw up. I mean, really, could things get any worse than this? I wanted tonight to be the perfect night and yet, look what’s happening. My life is miserable.
“Leave her alone.” I take notice of a voice over the crazy music, and as I open my eyes, I see Kayn walking up to us.
Great. It couldn’t have been better. My drunk ex molesting me, and the ape coming to my rescue. I’m sure he will make fun of me for this, saying how I owe him later.
My ex snorts in his face and begins to walk his hand over my body again. I’m starting to feel like throwing up. But, much to my surprise, Kayn won’t back off. He grabs the jerk’s arm, twists it around and in the meantime, I’m freed. I stare at him in awe, as Kayn twists both of his arms around his back and then gives him a little push, my ex stumbling into the closest pillar.
Kayn then quickly turns over to me, concern written all over his face. He palms my arms in the gentlest manner ever, hovering over me protectively. Look at him speechlessly, my bottom lip softly trembling. The ape had just saved me.
He leans closer, his hands encircling the thin of my back, pulling me closer to him. Soft strands of hair, from his fringe tickle my forehead, and I feel his breath against my face. There is something weird in my stomach, not butterflies, but a fire. I close my eyes and open my mouth, wanting him to either extinguish that fire or make it burn hotter, by the simplest touch of his lips.
But then, he goes for my ear, whispering seductively “Come to my place”, and I’m in no power to refuse.
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Everything happens so damn fast and for some reason, I’m in no position to think straight, nor do I wish to. We’ve taken a taxi from the club to Kayn’s place and over there, we struggle our way to his room with the lights turned off.
I hear him whisper my name softly, and the lack of light enhances his manly voice. The fire in my stomach is back, burning hot with desire and the need to have him.
He’s led me to his bedroom, by holding my hand, and once he closes the door after me, he traps me between the door and his hot body. His hands walk around my hips, my back, my arms and my face. Kayn gently presses his thumbs against my cheeks, before leaning in, our lips finally touching after so much prelude and sexual tension.
This feels so right, I’m instantly melting into the kiss, and Kayn knows that he has me on my tiptoes. Literally. I cling on to him as he kisses me and I kiss him back, and at a point, he deepens the kiss, taking my breath away.
My fingers find their way through his clothing, and I waste no time in unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off. At that, he smirks against me and looks for the zipper of my dress. Finding it, he pulls it down and off goes the dress as well.
We kiss again, while I struggle with his belt and those jeans, but Kayn helps me out, smirking again against my mouth.
“Impatient, are we?” He then asks as he holds me by my waist, lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist in the process. Kayn walks over to the bed, gently laying me on it, and him making place between my legs, softly pressing against me.
I bite back a moan when feeling him, even though it’s through our underwear. We kiss some more, Kayn grazing those feline teeth of his against my neck and collarbones, and then moving lower, to my breasts. He unclips my bra, throwing it somewhere randomly, and with gentle gestures, he folds a breast in his hand, while placing his mouth over the other.
My fingers claw his skin, and his hair, since he’s doing a hell of a job, my back automatically arching into his mouth. A few moans slip by, and I feel him smirking against my skin.
“Oh, stop it already!” I tell him annoyed, but Kayn shakes his head and moves lower, pulling off my panties and making place for himself between my legs.
Okay, so it’s not complete darkness in the room, since the city offers enough lights for Kayn to see my face while he gives me oral, and well, it’s just a usual girl thing to do this, but whenever I look at him and he looks up from between my legs, I just grab his head and push him back down. As a result, he chuckles and I feel embarrassed.
But, God, the way he uses that tongue of his. “Aah!” I let out a moan, my back arching, nails crawling at his scalp and pulling at his hair. I’ve no idea how he does it but it’s heaven.
And apparently, it’s not over. Lifting himself from between my legs and wiping his mouth, he comes to me and we share yet another kiss. I help him get out of his boxers, even giving his a few strokes, my hand apparently having the same effect on him he had on me. Still being on top of me, I look at him with his eyes closed, mouth left ajar, his nails scratching at my shoulders as I move my hand faster and faster. But he tenses, squeezing my shoulders and looking at me gravely.
“Fuck. I must have you.” He says with a deep, mature voice and kisses me passionately, while positioning himself at my entrance, and then slowly pushing the tip in.
I gasp at the sweet intrusion, but his kisses are like sugar-coated killing blows. Once he’s all in, he begins to thrust steadily in and out, setting my whole body on fire. My moans come out ragged again, with each thrust, each kiss of his. I also move my hips, meeting his thrusts, and apparently, it makes him go crazy as well.
“Okay, you’ll have to stop doing that or I will come faster.” Kayn says, as he rests his head on my chest.
I chuckle innocently and play with his hair. “Will do, sir.”
He lifts his head and has a brow cocked upwards, but smiles nonetheless and kisses me deeply.
“Should we change?” He then suggests and I then happily comply.
He lies on his back, with me on top, but first, I give him some innocent kisses, and only then get a hold of him, slowly pressing him towards me.
I lower myself on him, my mouth apparently unable to close as I feel him stretching my walls from the inside. I move my hips, trying to set a rhythm, but he moves as well, so it’s a funny mess. We both end up laughing, but I try to take the lead, even though Kayn won’t let me.
“Let’s do this my way,” he says all of a sudden, his hands on my back, and slowly pushing me towards him. I’m confused about this whole position, but, lifting my crotch and leaning into him, I am curious about this.
Kayn begins to thrust, as he has his arms around my back and I unintentionally let out a moan, because fuck, this is awesome! My hair is all over the place, and his thrusts become faster and faster, to the point that I’m a moaning mess on his chest. And he goes faster and my orgasm starts to build up, my voice going higher and higher, and his thrusts faster, and my nails crawl into his shoulders once I reach my peak, with a high-pitched scream. But Kayn won’t stop, and since my whole body is still sensitive and shaking, I know that soon, another orgasm will come. He kisses me deeply, lovingly, as he looks at me.
But, just then, he manages to surprise me once again. “I want you from behind...” And I gladly comply.
Changing positions, I get on my fours, arching my back and lifting my pretty ass for him, and playfully, Kayn traces soft kisses from my shoulder to my butt, much to my sheer terror.
“Do not dare to bite my ass.” I warn him with a glare, but he does it anyways, even laughing out proudly, as if it was an achievement.
And just then, I feel him inside of me, and my head instantly falls on the pillow, moaning from the very beginning. His movements are slow and steady, but I know him, he will instantly turn into a beast. And I love the transition. Kayn palms my hips as he moves in and out of me, each thrust sending me closer to cloud nine.
And that’s when the switch happens, him thrusting in me faster, harder, and as a result, I let out a few screams of pleasure. Apparently being the playful type, he slaps my ass a few times, only to lean forward the following second, one arm resting around my stomach, while cupping my breast with his other.
Kayn rests his head on my shoulder, and I turn to face him, playing my fingers through his hair. God, this is so good!
We stay like that fir a bit more, him thrusting in my and me reaching yet another orgasm, but then it was his turn, and, with a few fast thrusts, he reaches his own peak, cumming on my back.
It was a hell of an experience, but in all honestly, I wasn’t ready for it. Nor am I ready for what the morning will bring...
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Kayn's POV
I’ve considered it a blessing, the moment she accepted to come over to my place. I know we’ve been both drunk and heartbroken, but that didn’t change any of the feelings I had for this girl. It’s true, I’ve fallen for her ever since I found out that she also plays League of Legends, and that she made it so far by herself. The rest just happened.
I’m not a guy handled easily, because my nature tends to push people away, rather than bring them closer to me. I suppose that is my sin, always chasing away the people whom I care about. But with this girl, I thought it might be different. How wrong had I been... It backfired once again, even though I hoped that maybe, this time, it would be different. I wished with all my heart that she was the only one to stay.
And yet, the following morning, after I’ve shared not only my bed and body, but also my heart and soul with the girl I fell for, I woke up alone. She was long gone, and so were her things. I haven’t been this heartbroken, not even when I found out that my ex cheated on me.
Lying in the middle of the bed, naked and heartbroken, I kept staring at the ceiling until I feel my heart break again. I don’t even have her number. And now it makes sense why she always kept herself at bay.
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Your POV
I doubt Kayn cared whether I stayed or not, which is exactly why I sneaked out of his apartment this morning. I can’t, I’m sorry but I can’t get in a serious relationship with anyone anymore, where I’m supposed to open up and let the other in. I can’t. My life is fucked up as it is, without having made the mistake of sleeping with Kayn. I mean, seriously. It’s not like he cares about me. Why would he, when all this time, ever since meeting me, he did nothing but lash out at me and push me around?
What happened last night... That’s a mistake bound to never repeat itself. Again.
As I hurry inside our apartment complex, I notice that it begins to rain and all of a sudden, I feel relief that I left when I did, otherwise, I probably would’ve had to sit through an awkward breakfast, an awkward goodbye, and a lonely taxi ride back home. Like this, I’ve protected the leftover pieces of my heart.
Hurrying down the hallway and turning the key around, I walk inside the apartment hurriedly, not thinking straight. And that’s when I run into Syndra and Zed making out passionately.
They see me too and Zed is pushed to the ground by Syndra, who frantically looks for her clothes and then so does Zed and it’s a mess, until I excuse myself and lock myself in my room. They’re still going at it for about ten more minutes, until everyone’s found their clothes and things seem to have calmed down. Outside my bedroom walls, at the very least.
I change into some comfortable clothes and tie my hair in a lazy bun, and hide under the blankets. I want to disappear. Completely.
“Hey, are you alright? You can come out now, have some coffee,” I hear Syndra call out, and I ponder on her offer a few moments, before deciding that coffee can’t be that bad.
So I leave the comfort of the bed, to warm myself and my cold heart with some freshly brewed coffee.
I see Zed sitting by the table and he greets me awkwardly. I nod at him simply as I make my way towards the coffeemaker, preparing some of that wonderful drink.
“Want some scrambled eggs with bacon and cheese?” Syndra asks me, as she turns away from the stove.
“No, I’m fine.” I reply with a sigh, and inwardly make a face.
I see Zed shifting in his seat, looking at Syndra, then at me, and then back at Syndra.
“Okay, what happened last night?” Syndra asks me, unable to hold it in already.
And I really am not in the mood to talk about it. I thought the deal was for me to get some coffee, and that’s it. Then again, what would I expect? Of course they’d be pestering me about it. Not pestering, in an annoying way, but in a concerned one, like friends do. Though I don’t know if I can openly talk about it in front of Zed, but since Syndra fed him, it wouldn’t be that big of a problem, I suppose...
So, after adding sugar and milk to my coffee, I take a seat at the table and try to get my thoughts in order, thinking how to spill the beans without sounding like a whore.
“I had a one-night stand with Kayn.” Is the only way I can put it.
And their reactions are priceless, and would be funny, if it weren’t my situation.
Zed nearly chokes on his food while Syndra’s eyes widen twice their usual size. She plops down on the empty seat next to Zed, frowning deeply and then looking at me.
“How did that happen? I thought you two couldn’t stand one another.” Syndra then tells me, her frown deepening, if that’s even possible.
I shrug and taste my coffee. “I ran into that bastard in the club and he pulled a low one on me, trying to get me mad and make me feel like trash, and Kayn stood up for me. I don’t know how I ended up at his place. I was shaken up and needed some closure, someone to hold me, and he happened to be there. And we weren’t thinking straight, so it happened.” I let it all out in one breath, ready to face their judging eyes and the consequences.
I know it’s bad talking about such stuff in front of a guy’s best friend, but that best friend happened to be my best friend’s boyfriend, so maybe it was an exception. And besides, Zed seemed too busy to down the food anyways.
Syndra makes a face as she leans back against the chair. “What a disgusting human being. Not Kayn.” She quickly corrects herself. “I don’t know what to say, I don’t think it’s an entirely bad thing, especially since it’s about the two of you.” She then adds and I probably make the ugliest face, as she chuckles softly. “I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and if it’s not affection what I’ve seen in his eyes, I don’t know what it is.”
I look at her as dumbfounded as I can feel. I’m seriously starting to question her sanity. Maybe this whole relationship and love-dovey stuff took away her sanity or something. I mean, I just cannot grasp the idea of Kayn having feelings for me.
“What are you talking about? Seriously, now.” I roll my eyes at her and proceed to drink from my beloved coffee. “You know I’m not up for commitment, and especially not know. I don’t want to fuck anyone else up.”
“But she’s right, you know?” This time, it’s Zed who speaks up and both Syndra and I look at him with surprise. He looks at both of us with confusion and mutters a stern ‘what’. “He’s weird and fucked up, but as creepy as he is, he does care for you. I mean, he tried to push you away all this time especially because he has feelings for you. Like you, he went through a difficult relationship before, so maybe he’s just as scared as you are. But that doesn’t make you any better than him, since you double-crossed him this morning, when you sneaked out of his place while he was asleep.” And after saying this he goes back to devouring those eggs and that bacon.
And I’m left looking at Syndra and her looking back at me and shrugging, having no idea where that came from.
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I haven’t talked to Kayn ever since then, and somehow, a few weeks have passed with both of us ignoring each other, and making it seem as though nothing happened, whenever we happened to meet. I fell in a semi-depressive state shortly after, and for a while I thought I wouldn’t be able to get out of it, especially because of my parents’ situation.
A few days before holidays, my mother called me that the divorce is final, and that I should remain in the city while she gets ready to move out of the house that used to be theirs. My parents have been fighting ever since I was born, but I never gave it much thought, believing that they would make up sooner or later. Though, it didn’t happen that way. The fights became more frequent, and they grew more violent every time. Smashing things around them whenever they fought became a habit.
And growing up in such an environment had its toll on me too. That’s the main cause of me not being able to trust people easily and not desiring commitment. I mean, yeah, I do wish to have someone hold me in the evening and tell me that everything will be alright, or simply having someone by my side, to hold me in their arms and soothing me, but more than that, I’m scared of things ending up like between my parents. I don’t want to hurt the people I love, so I choose not to love anyone in that way. Isn’t this a better way to protect myself?
And besides, I’m stuck in this apartment, with Syndra reluctantly returning home, and leaving me by myself. She did want to stay after hearing the news about my parents, but who am I to steal someone else’s happiness and comfort, just because my life is fucked up?
I might not even have a place to return to at all. My mother moved out of the house and is currently staying at her parents, and I don’t want to return to stay near my drunken father who does nothing but drink away his sorrow and smashes things out of annoyance. And I can’t show up at my grandparents’ house either, since it’s already crowded with my mother being there.
I couldn’t do anything but sulk for a few days and play video games to pass the time. I have no idea how long it’s been since I left the apartment either. It feels lonely without Syndra here, cheering me up with her cooking and her silly music, or even Zed and Jhin stopping by and telling stupid jokes.
All in all, I’m alone.
That is, until I hear the doorbell, and I find it an annoyance, having to go see who it is. I haven’t ordered anything (I don’t know when I ate last time either), so I take my sweet time walking to the door. I open it instantly, and the person I see is the one I expected less.
“Kayn,” my breath hitches in my throat and I freeze in place.
Handsome as always, he looks at me with a determined face. He wears a grey shirt, a leather jacket, some jeans and converses, but he looks so damn hot! While I wear an oversized sweater and shorts, my face and hair a total mess.
“Aren’t you going to let me in?” He says after a good few minutes, where I stared at him dumbstruck.
I apologize and let him in afterwards.
He makes his way to the kitchen, taking a seat. I follow him shyly, trying to cover my thighs with my shirt and ask him if he wants beer, to which he agrees. So I take a seat too and sip from my own can of beer, waiting for him to say whatever he wants to say. I’m sure he’s here to lecture me, to tell me how repulsive and cowardly I am, that he finds me disgusting and that he regrets ever sleeping with me. I mean, who wouldn’t especially after seeing someone looking like I am at the moment.
The moments tick by, and by now, we’ve both finished half of our beers, but neither says a word. I keep stealing glances at him, but whenever he catches me, I just look away and feign ignorance.
“You know,” he finally begins, after what seems like half an hour. “I have no idea why I’m here.” At that I frown at him. “It’s just, I heard from Syndra what you’ve been going through, and, even though it’s not in my position, I thought you’d maybe need someone by your side.”
I look at my can, not knowing what to actually say. After what I did to him, it’s still him who comes to me. That egocentric, cold Kayn, lowering his walls and asking for truce.
“Don’t take it in a wrong way, I still can’t forgive you for that time, but after hearing some things, I’ve come to understand you better. It was my fault for not making my intentions clear in the first place. But I was scared of being rejected, so I stayed silent. Though, maybe I would’ve gotten rejected by you anyways, who knows.” The way he laughs at the end, it makes my heart sting.
I feel sorry for him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left. It’s just... I don’t know how to handle things anymore. My life keeps getting fucked up, and it’s not like I have something against you, but, I’m afraid of trusting someone, because I’ll get hurt in the end.” I mean this, and, even though I know I have no right to hope for more, there’s still a part of me that believes he will get up and hold me again.
Kayn remains silent and sips from his beer, not looking at me anymore. Maybe he said what he wanted and he’s going to leave. The sad part is, I don’t want him to leave.
“Well,” he begins, as he finishes his beer and rises to his feet. “At least we cleared up some stuff between us. I better get going.” He says, without looking at me.
Something aches inside of me, at seeing his back getting smaller and smaller, as he’s headed to the door. I don’t want him to leave.
So I do the stupidest thing in my life, something I didn’t think I’d do anytime sooner.
I get up and hurry after him, grabbing his jacket and pleading. “Please don’t leave me.” I confess, with my head bent low.
He’s probably going to shake my hand off and leave anyways, but at least I tried, right? My heart is ringing in my ears, and my cheeks are flushed, but as I try to calm myself down, I realize that it’s futile. I can’t. I can’t calm down, when I need him here.
Kayn turns around to look at me, wearing the one face I never expected to see. He smiles at me softly, and, as he turns his whole body around, he wraps his arms gently around me and locks his lips with mine.
“Oh, how I yearned to hear those words.” He says softly and picks me up in his arms.
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Kayn’s POV
I place her on the bed with a gentleness to be met yet, and then lay down on my side, so I can face her. I sneak an arm under her head, while playing with her hair with my other. She smiles at me blissfully, tracing my bodyline through my clothes. She can slightly feel my muscles and toned body, even under my jacket.
Warm lips lock with hers and she places a hand at the nape of my neck, bringing me closer to her touch. My arms snake around her waist, pulling her closer to me as well. Soon after, the gently kiss becomes one devoured by lust, my sinful tongue forcing its way past her lips, an action to which she quickly indulges.
Instead, she fights her way through my layers of clothing undoing them one by one, feeling the desire to touch my bare skin growing by the second. It’s only the second time we do this and yet, it feels as natural as breathing.
I can’t help but chuckle against her lips and breaks the kiss shortly. “Here, let me help you out,” I whispers against her ear as I undoes part of my clothes, making it easier for her to continue. I know my voice sends shivers down her spine and then I decide to do the unforgivable: biting her ear, causing a moan to escape from her sweet lips.
“Oh, you traitor,” she moans, her breath heavy, while my only response is an evil chuckle.
She manages to pull off all of my clothes, aside from my underwear, and I take action to undress her as well, though my skilled hands remove her shirt faster and with more skill than her cute attempts. Still, seeing her pissed face afterwards is worth the tease.
I remove my arm from under her, so I can shift positions and climb on top of her. I secure both of her tiny wrists with one of my big hands, bringing them close to my lips, and looking at her filled with passion.
“So, how should I please you tonight?” My question makes her blush a deep shade of scarlet, adding to the fact that my intense gaze nearly made her see stars. Her whole body is twitching with anticipation, her skin yearning to be touched, caressed.
“However you want, as long as you don’t tease me too much...” She replies rather shyly, causing me to chuckle wholeheartedly. I then kiss her fingers and set free her hand, making place for myself between her legs, and leaning in to kiss her.
Her arms lock around my shoulders immediately as we’re lost in the kisses, while my hands travel all over her body, taking in the softness, and leaving goose bumps in their path. I make sure she feels me against her inner thigh, how hot I am, and how I’m throbbing with excitement.
Sly hands take her breasts in custody, as my lips travel to her neck, softly kissing and sucking at her flesh, all the while I massage her perky breasts. She cannot help but muffle her moans, but the sensations he gives are over the top.
But I don’t want to tease her that much, so one of my hands is replaced by my mouth and her instant reaction is to grab a fistful of my hair as she arches her back, feeding me more. I lick and kiss her, her nipples hardening, giving both breasts similar attention, all the while my hand travels between her legs, unable to wait any more to taste her sweetness. I remove her panties with a swift motion and she shudders at the sudden cold, though it lasts shortly, as my hand is already there. Fingers trail over her clit, playing with her pearl, making her jump and flinch at every single movement, much to my satisfaction. Seeing her face in such bliss, especially when I’m the cause of it, it nearly sets me off of his high horse. I genuinely couldn’t get any happier.
Inserting a digit inside of her, her back is arching once again, giving me more. I suck on her breast, memorizing her curves with my other hand, and getting intoxicated by the scent of her skin and the scent of her sex.
“Oh, there...” She moans when I reach a certain point and trashes her head left and right, as I rub just about that part, being careful with my nails, at the same time, so I won’t hurt her. And that’s when I think of a devious thing to do, which is, to twirl my hand in such way, so my thumb reaches her clit and her pearl, simultaneously pleasing her, inside out.
She grabs my hair and pulls at this, being unable to resist such an intense pleasure, and moans filling her room. Still caring about caution, I take her in an aggressive kiss, though she has a hard time respond to me, as she cannot hold back her moans, due to my ministrations. This makes me so very fucking happy.
Taking a break, I proceed to remove my underwear and am about to place myself at her entrance, when she surprises me by getting up and pushing me down.
“What, you thought you’d get away with the amount of teasing you inflicted on me?” She says deviously, as she takes me in her hand and works her magic up and down.
It takes mere seconds for me to lose my cool, and throwing my head backwards, at the feel of her soft touches, pumping me fast and faster. It nearly drives me mad. And, as if that wouldn’t be enough, I feels her shift positions, only to take me in her mouth the following second, forcing me to grunt and grab a handful of her hair, this time around.
I can barely speak out her name, as her mouth engulfs me, and begins to suck, bobbing her head up and down. Her hand is placed at the base, where her mouth can’t reach – at least for now – sucking and pumping me simultaneously, making me see stars.
With her hand never leaving my cock, she proceeds to suck on my head, and I lose my cool, nearly finishing in her mouth. With heavy breathing, I hold her by her shoulders, much to her surprise and lift her on top of me, positioning her in a certain way.
“Why did you stop me? And what’s with this position? “She asks gleefully, feeling weird, having to lie on top of me, but resting on her legs and arms.
“You’ll see, you impatient pain in the ass.” I tease as I look at her, entering her slowly but swiftly.
And her mouth forms an ‘o’, but that’s about all she can say, when she feels my hips thrusting into her from below. She nearly collapses on top of me from the pleasure, but my arms are there, resting around her back, holding her in one piece. She clings onto me for dear life, nearly biting into my collarbone, due to the position, and how deep I feels inside of her.
“I’m going crazy, I’m going crazy, I’m going crazy!” She frantically repeats, unable to believe that such a position could give such pleasure to her. And on top of that, I begin to thrust deeper into her, causing her to moan out loud and plunge her nails into my skin. But not even that makes me change his pace.
Her moans fill the room, accompanied by my occasional grunts, and just when she feels she cannot get enough of this position, I surprise her again, by swiftly shifting them, so she finds herself on her fours, with me grabbing a fistful of her hair and entering her from behind.
If the last position was intense, this one is explosive. She cries out my name, her back arching, ass pushing against me, driving me insane. I pull at her hair and fasten my pace, her cries of pleasure making me nearly lose my sanity.
She is bound to lose strength in her arms and knees, but with me gripping her hair and pulling her by it, she can’t even fall in front, being completely at my mercy.
“K-Kayn, I, I...” She stutters, and her insides clench around me, causing me to bite on my bottom lip and thrust in her harder. I grab her by her hips, losing my pace and thrusting into her wildly, the slapping sound of our bodies accompanied by her cries.
A few thrusts, and she tightens around me, filling me with her warmth and I force myself to give her a few other thrusts, before pulling out and finishing on her back.
We both grasp for air for a few moments, the adrenaline not having left our bodies yet, but eventually, I rise from the bed, to look for something to clean ourselves up with.
It’s perfect, having her lie in my arms, feeling her naked skin against mine, knowing that she’s all mine. The sort of safety nothing could break. As long as she is by my side, I’m capable of facing the whole world by myself.
“I love you,” I whisper breathlessly, looking into her eyes. She’s tired, but oh so satisfied. And it feeds my ego, the fact that I’m the one having caused that dreamily satisfying expression on her face.
“I love you too.” She replies immediately, wearing a small smile and leans in to kiss me longingly.
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