Archive of Our Own

When Jihoon stepped foot in the hospital, he was once again tempted to run away for the hundredth time. It's been two weeks since he started his first duty as a student nurse and Jihoon is just... tired. Actually no, saying that Jihoon is tired is an understatement. He's exhausted. Body, mind and soul. At this point, Jihoon is just being fueled by desperation and spite. But what can he do? It's a requirement from them to pass their second year in the undergrad.

Imagine that? you haven't even fully adjusted to university yet but you're already being thrown out into the field with limited knowledge because apparently experience is the best teacher. 

Jihoon would like to think it's not all that bad. Positive energy and positive thoughts and all that. But manifesting good energy can only get you so far especially when you're given a Clinical Instructor who keeps pressuring you to be the best in your class and a Chief Nurse who obviously hates your guts just because you're older than most of your batch.

But then again, what can Jihoon do but blink, smile and follow?

It's not like he chose to be poor. It's not like he wanted to stop studying for a while. It's not like he has the choice to say no to his aunt who's paying for his college. 

So Jihoon inhaled deeply, sighed as deep and stepped forward to endure another hectic day.

Junhui saw him first, another student nurse in his batch. And by something miraculous, he's also the same age. Both stopped for a few years before starting college. So Jihoon isn't surprised to be the closest to him. Junhui greeted him with a grimace, quite telling of how the day had been and how the rest of the day would be.

“How bad?”He whispered. Immediately getting ready to report.

“Stay out of the Chief's sight” That means only one thing; The Chief Nurse is in a bad mood and is looking for a punching bag. And Jihoon has been her punching bag since two weeks ago.

“Shit. Which Doctors are in?”

Before Junhui could answer him, the rest of the student nurses came in with their instructor. Telling them their assigned rotations or which doctors they will be assisting. All while, he prays to get the easiest one. He already knows that if he gets Dr. Ho or Dr Han, he'll be roasted today. Not to mention that Dr. Ho seems to fancy Nurse Cha, their chief nurse and always let his lackeys be bullied by her. 

He prays that Dr. Song is in, or maybe Dr. Min. They're the quiet ones who are eager to teach you what they know and wouldn't judge you for every mistake you make. 

They were given task one by one, Jihoon grimacing when Junhui became the sacrificial lamb who was tasked to help Dr. Ho.

“Nurse Lee?” Prof. Choi called.

“Yes?”

“You'll be in the pediatrics with Dr. Jeon” Another round of grimace passed through the group but Jihoon simply nodded. 

If Jihoon’s being honest, he feels like he lucked out compared to some of them. Dr. Jeon is... an enigma.

Dr. Jeon Wonwoo already has a reputation in the hospital as the youngest doctor. Only five years older than Jihoon but he's already doing his masteral. He's sort of a genius so everyone basically bows down to him. Even the senior doctors because apparently, he was hand picked by the hospital director himself. He's one of the quiet ones, but unlike Dr. Min or Dr. Song, Dr. Jeon has a reputation of being... unapproachable. He's not exactly rude or mean, per say. But he’s brutally honest and straight forward. He's a no nonsense guy and serious most of the time. So almost every staff in the hospital steer clear of him.

You might be thinking, okay, he's just another one of the grumpy doctors. No big deal. Where's the paradox?

He's a pediatric doctor.

The man who the hospital deemed too strict, too impersonal, and too unfriendly, is a doctor who specializes in pediatrics. The caring of infants, toddlers, children, teens or them you call little gremlins who ain't an adult yet. Isn't that easier? NO. Whoever asks that obviously doesn't have kids or haven't worked with kids ever. The amount of patience and understanding you need to have just to deal with them in a daily basis should be ungodly. 

And Jihoon, who has assisted Dr. Jeon for atleast twice, has seen that man smile and talk undeniably soft to his patients. It was such a juxtaposition that he had to question his sanity the first time it happened. Dr. Jeon feels like a different person altogether when dealing with kids. 

So yeah, Jihoon feels like he lucked out. Maybe he is still a bit scared of Dr. Jeon but atleast he knows that the man has no vendetta against him. And also he's good looking and nice to the eyes.

“Nurse Lee?” Jihoon snapped out of his stupor when he heard the deep voice Dr. Jeon is known with.

“Yes, doc?”

“We're starting our rounds. Let's go”

Jihoon immediately scrambled to his feet to follow his long strides.

Dr. Jeon made him read and update the charts, Jihoon doing so with scared mind and shaking hands. He's still not used to it. After all it's only been two weeks since they started. He fumbled a few times out of pressure but Dr. Jeon steadily guides him through whenever, speaking in hushed tone as he corrects Jihoon. Like Jihoon too is one of his patients he needs to treat nicely. Jihoon prefers that over Dr. Jeon treating him like he doesn't know anything, or worse, like he should already know everything. 

By the time break rolls around, Jihoon is ready to cry. He was tasked to administer a shot of prescribed medication to an eight year old but because he was too scared to do it to the point of his hands shaking, Dr. Jeon has to take over. Narrating to him every step and showing him how it's done. It's not like Jihoon doesn't know how. He knows! But Jihoon is still wary and afraid because it's a delicate action. One wrong move could have a massive effect on the person’s body. Thankfully, the patient's guardian was nice and encouraged him. The mother was gentle as he thanked Dr. Jeon and him. Even if he only stood behind the doctor for the most of it.

“You know how to take vital signs?” Dr. Jeon asked, not unkindly but Jihoon still felt embarrassed.

“Yes, doc”

“Okay And then he's walking away to his office.

“Go take your lunch, We'll call you once consultations start” Nurse Jo, one of the actual nurses that is tasked to help the doctors, pats him on the shoulder. Jihoon nodded and bowed before he excused himself.

By the time Dr. Jeon's last consultation ends, Jihoon's rotation shift also ends. So he didn't mind staying a bit more to help sort out the paperwork and tidy up a bit.

“Did you eat lunch?” 

Jihoon wasn't sure at first if the doctor was talking to him. He needed to look around just to see that they're the only ones left in the office and the doctor is looking at him expectantly.

“Yes?” He answered. 

“I didn't see you at the cafeteria”

That's because he was eating a sandwich in the fire exit while reviewing his notes so that he'll avoid acting like an idiot the way he did earlier that day. But he didn't say any of those lest be judged by the doctor.

“Oh, I had a sandwich” He answered instead. He waited for a few more seconds to see if the doctor had anything more to say. When he didn't, Jihoon just shrugged it off as he finished his task.

Jihoon can feel the doctor's eyes on him as he moved but he tried not to pay attention to it because it pressures him to do a good job and ends up messing instead. He doesn't know why, but Dr. Jeon is just... intimidating like that. Handsomely so.

Thankfully, he finished quickly and was about to say goodbye when the doctor beat him to it.

“Do you have somewhere to be after?”

“No, doc. Is there anything else I should need to do for you?” Jihoon asked. Junhui wouldn't mind if he stayed longer, he's sure.

“Okay. Let's eat”

“Huh?”

“I was gonna treat you earlier but I didn't find you. I’ll treat you to dinner instead, let's go”

Jihoon wasn't able to protest more at all because the doctor was already walking away. As if he had been ready and was only waiting for Jihoon. Maybe he was, but Jihoon shakes those thoughts away before his heart starts to pitter patter. The doctor is just being... nice. Maybe. 

The doctor brought him to a hole in a wall restaurant that serves authentic Korean dishes. The place looked like it's been running for years with a hanok dining style. Jihoon tried not to be awkward but it's hard when one, they're not friends and two, this is basically his superior. Also, Jihoon is in front of a taller, older, handsome man. Of course, he would be awkward.

“Do you not like it here?” the doctor asked as Jihoon took the time to look over the menu. Everything looks good and cheap. But he doesn't know what he should order because he doesn't know what's the appropriate thing to order. Is this some kind of a test? Is the doctor gonna judge him by what set he'll take? Or what food he'll eat? But why would he? Jihoon already did a shit job earlier, that's enough for the doctor to judge him, right? Or maybe is this a test for a second chance? Second chance for what though? “Nurse lee?”

“Huh?” Jihoon blinked and realized that he'd been staring at the menu for a long time. Not answer the doctor which is... being so rude of him.

“If you don't like it here, that's fine. We can go to some other places” The doctor put down the menu and was about to stand up when Jihoon couldn't help but finally ask.

“Why are you treating me?”

Dr. Jeon looked at him confused, as if he's the one who's asking a ridiculous question. Is he? Maybe Dr. Jeon just likes to treat his subordinates. But if he does, it will surely be known in the hospital because everyone there is a tattletale. And Jihoon hasn't heard a single talk.

“Is it wrong to treat you?” Dr. Jeon asked as he sat back down comfortably.

“No?”

“Okay” okay? What does he mean okay? “Maybe I just want to treat you because you did a good job today”

Jihoon can't help the ugly snort that came out of him. His performance today is anything but good. He can't believe that he's sitting here in front of one of the best doctors in the hospital and being treated because he did a ‘good’ job. What a bull. He only stopped laughing when he realized that this is still his superior he's laughing in front of.

“I made a lot of mistakes” He said when Dr. Jeon keeps staring at him.

“You just started. It's bound to happen”

“I felt like a fool”

“You just needed a guide”

“I was shit”

“You did a good job”

They had a staring contest in which Jihoon refused to back out. But Jihoon is just a boy. And handsome Dr. Jeon, for some reason, is here trying to reassure him and looking at him with intense but pretty eyes. Jihoon is just a boy and he's weak. A blush steadily made its way on his cheeks, Jihoon getting flustered at the doctor's attention. So when a waiter came to take their order, Jihoon readily ended their connection and ordered randomly. Hoping that there's rice in what he ordered. Dr. Jeon ordered right after him and Jihoon thought that he would drop the subject and they would endure the dinner in awkward silence. Except Dr. Jeon wasn't ready to let it go.

“Nurse Lee. Trust me, you're doing a good job. I know you can't see it yet from all the stress and pressure. But you're okay. Mistakes aren't the end of the world”

“But they can be the end of someone's life”

“You're not alone, nurse Lee. We're a team. And your teammates won't let that happen. But even if, in time, you experience a loss, what matters is you did your everything. Doctors and nurses... we're not Gods. We're here to help them as much as we can but we can do no miracles. Remember that.”

Jihoon looks at Dr. Jeon in wonder. The heavyweight of the day's mistakes lifting from his shoulders at the doctor's kind words. He knew not to believe in rumors and hearsay, but Jihoon can't believe that the infamous grumpy doctor is giving him gentle advice with a soft voice. He's strict, sure. Firm and straightforward. But it turned out he can be nice too. Jihoon has seen him like this to his patients but Jihoon didn't expect for the same treatment to be directed towards him. 

Jihoon isn't gonna lie, he's already attracted to the doctor and has a tiny itsy bitsy crush on him. The man is a walking anime character! With his imposing and mysterious aura, serious handsome face, and his sexy glasses, of course Jihoon’s gonna have a crush on him. Half of the hospital does. But in this blessed moment, Jihoon felt like the crush meter just turned into a real feelings kind of meter.

“Thank you” He whispered, suddenly shy and timid. “You're not as scary as I thought “ He mused.

“I’m scary?” Dr. Jeon looked at him, surprised. And Jihoon can't help but giggle at his reaction.

“You didn't know?”

And it was Jihoon's turn to be surprised when Dr. Jeon pouted. He pouted! 

“I’m not even doing anything!”

“Okay, maybe not scary. Intimidating?”

“How?” Dr. Jeon asked in distress and Jihoon's giggles turned into an actual laugh.

“Well…”

Any awkwardness between them vanished like it wasn't there to begin with. The dinner was spent with Jihoon telling Wonwoo, as the doctor asked to be called, all the gossip in the hospital. Jihoon indulged him, and in return, Wonwoo told him a lot of tips regarding different doctors he needs to suck up to. It was fun. Jihoon learned that Wonwoo is naturally quiet, he likes to listen more than talk but he engages and reacts at the right time to keep the conversation going. He also learned that he's still just as blunt with a dash of dry humor that just tickles Jihoon's fancy. By the time the dinner ends, Jihoon is a whole lot comfortable around him and Wonwoo is smiling. A feat Jihoon is proud to say that he did. That smile is because of him!

“Thank you for tonight, Nurse Lee” Jihoon raised his eyebrow and Wonwoo immediately correct himself “I meant, Jihoon”

“I should be thanking you, doc”

“I thought I told you to call me by my name”

“Nope. You're older and you're still my superior”

“How about hyung? Outside the office?”

Jihoon can't help the smile that blooms in his face afterwards.

“Okay, hyung”

Apparently the Chief nurse didn't get the memo and still treats Jihoon like shit. This time, Jihoon is sure that the chief nurse is singling him out. He doesn't know why and it's not like he can just ask, but the chief nurse has been downright awful to him for the last few days. Today, she won't even let Jihoon partake in any help. She just continuously orders him around, giving him errands that doesn't even makes sense but Jihoon knew not to say no. Jihoon's pretty sure what she's doing is illegal, but who would believe him? The chief nurse has some good backers and he's just a student. Unpaid labor. So he sucked it up. Going to the storage to look for goddamn cottons. And the goddamn cottons is on the top shelf. Jihoon's pretty sure she made him get it just to insult his height.

“Fuck you!” He whispered-screamed to the cottons that's out of reach. His patience running thin and frustration getting the better of him.

“What did the cottons ever do to you?”

Jihoon turned around in surprise. Afraid that one of the strict doctors, or worst, his instructor heard him. Only to find Dr. Jeon leaning on the doorframe, hands crossed over his chest with his coat sleeves pulled up and a pretty smirk on his face. Jihoon would appreciate the view if he wasn't so mad. And then he realized that Dr. Jeon is one of the strict doctors and he did hear him curse. Jihoon closed his eyes to reign in some temper. And when he open them again, Dr. Jeon is still there looking at him with an amusement.

“Doc, I didn't hear you come in”

“you were cursing so loud I doubt you’ll care. Here” 

Jihoon flushed when Dr. Jeon came forward. Making him back away until his back hit the shelf as the doctor leaned forward, reaching above him to get the box of cottons he needed. But he can't focus on that. Not when he's in close proximity with the doctor and he's all over Jihoon's senses. They're so close that Jihoon can smell his perfume. It's fruity but not in a way that it's sweet, more like it's spicy and powdery. A mix between peach and sandalwood. It's intoxicating that Jihoon forgot for a minute what he was so mad about.

“T-thank you” He mumbled, flustered as he get the box from the doctor.

“You okay there?” Jihoon nodded “So why are you cursing the innocent balls of cottons, hmm?” Right, why did he? Jihoon's mind is kind of blank right now.

“Uhh…” He shrugged. Trying to remember what the cottons were for.

“Bad day?” Dr. Jeon asked. And maybe Jihoon's just a little bit delusional but he swears the doctor looks worried.

After their dinner a week ago, they haven't had any luck of interaction. Although Jihoon did see him from time to time, the doctor nodding at him or even waving at him. There's even a time where the doctor winked at him from the cafeteria that made Jihoon choke on his food. But they haven't had any chance of just talking. Jihoon's rotation hasn't coincide with the doctor's yet like Jihoon has been hoping.

“Try bad week” Jihoon sighed, his mind finally rebooting with the reminder. Right, he's here because the medusa kept making him run for things.

“I can see that. Well... here.”

Jihoon blushed when Dr. Jeon gently wrapped his hand around Jihoon's wrist, pulling his hand palms up and then putting a lollipop shaped like a cat on top of it.

“A... lollipop?” 

“Yeah. You're doing a good job” And then the doctor reached up to pat him on the head before walking away. Unaware of how loud Jihoon's heart is beating right now because of the random but completely welcomed gesture of affection.

“Fuck” Jihoon cursed again, for a different reason. Fuck, I really like him.

To both his dismay and relief, Jihoon was rotationed to the delivery room the next week. That means that medusa is out of the way and the doctors here a lot more amiable. But that means he also can't see Dr. Jeon. And delivering a baby is... kind of gross. He has nothing againts pregnant woman, they're heroes who endures 9 months of hardwork and painful childbearing, but Jihoon is gay, and seeing vaginas push a whoelass baby is off-putting for him. Still, he's a professional and he's required to both assist and to handle deliveries. 

Jihoon has completed his required assisted deliveries but he still needs to handle one. 

“Hey, Nurse Lee. I know you're done with your assisted deliveries, but we need hands right now as it's a sensitive case. Would you be able to scrub in?”

“Of course! I’ll follow you!”

The hours after were a blur to Jihoon. When Nurse Bae told him that it is a sensitive case, it was worse than he imagined. They all tried their best, Jihoon knows. But when the infant came out stillborn, Jihoon understood the phrase that sometimes best isn't enough.

“Go breathe out. You're excused for the day, I’ll talk to your instructor” Dr. Moon told him, her smile kind and motherly even with sadness all over it. Jihoon can only nod. He doesn't trust his voice, doesn't trust that he won't just break down. He can't stop his hands from shaking. His hands that held the child with no heartbeat. The mother's cries still echoes in his head. Filling him with dread and suffocating grief.

He doesn't know how he found his way to the fire exit, muscle memory maybe from all the times he hid here. But as soon as the door closed, his tears started falling.

He knew, of course, he knew that it's bound to happen. Life and death are the bread and butter of those who work in the field of medicine. They help mothers bring life to the world, but they also see life being taken at every turn. Just like Wonwoo told him, they're not God. They can only help so much but when a person time's up, it's up. No medicine can help them.

But my God, it was just a child. A baby. No more than seconds old and he didn't even get to breathe even just once. And the mom, who cared and loved and carried that baby inside of her for nine whole months only to see her child not breathing. It was a different kind of heartbreak. And Jihoon is once again reminded how much nursing doesn't fit him. How much he doesn't like it. Because he can't go through that again. He won't... he can't take. 

Jihoon curled up on the corner of the wall. Hugging his knees as he sobbed on his arms. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

It wasn't even his choice to begin with. But he wanted to finish studying, even if it meant that it'll be his aunt who'll choose what he'll be finishing. He knew nursing would be hard, but he thought he at least would have the time to adjust to it. He didn't expect to be thrown to it immediately. Would it have been better if he said no?

“Hey... Jihoon-ah”

Jihoon reluctantly looked up from where he's hiding when he heard a sweet voice calling him. Tears kept falling even more when he saw Dr. Jeon crouching in front of him, looking at him with worried eyes. Jihoon wonders how pathetic he must look to him. He feels ashamed for crying but it just won't stop.

“Can I touch you, Jihoon?” Dr. Jeon asked, voice still soft. Jihoon nodded, desperate for comfort. 

He can't ever remember the last time he had cried in front of another person. But here he is, in front of the person who he admires. Ugly crying and yet Dr. Jeon only gave him a smile before reaching towards him, hand coming on top of his head much like last time. But instead of patting him, Dr. Jeon started caressing his hair instead. Slowly running his hand through his hair. Jihoon knows it's meant to calm him, but all he can do is cry even more. Dr. Jeon moved to sit beside him instead, pulling him until they're shoulder to shoulder. The hand that was caressing his head falls down to his shoulder, nudging him until Jihoon turned to cry into his arms instead.

He doesn't know how long they stayed there but when he stopped crying, his eyes were puffy and red. 

“I’m sorry” He whispered when he saw that the doctor’s coat was wet with tears.

“Do you feel better?” Does he? Jihoon doesn't know. He wants to say yes but he doesn't know how the lie would sound to his lips.

“Shouldn't you be doing your rounds? How did you even find me?” Jihoon asked instead.

“I was done. And Seungcheol, your instructor, told me what happened. I was worried so I asked your friend nurse Wen. Do you really eat here?” It's a topic diversion, an out Dr. Jeon is giving him so he doesn't have to explain his breakdown if he doesn't want to. And Jihoon doesn't, so he latched on to it.

“It’s quiet” He shrugged.

“It is, isn't it? Do you mind if I join you sometimes?”

“As long as you don't share it with anybody else. I like my secret hideout too much”

“Promise. I'll even bring us food” That brought an unsuspecting smile to Jihoon. Such a simple banter but it managed to make Jihoon feel not so alone when he feels so low.

“Thank you” He mumbled, suddenly shy.

“For promising to bring food?” Jihoon snorts at the doctor's playful answer.

“I’m going to expect something expensive” 

“Well, all I got right now is a lollipop. But that's fully noted”

“Lollipop?”

“Yeah” And then Dr. Jeon takes out a cat shaped lollipop from his coat pocket, identical to what he gave Jihoon a week ago. “Here”

“I don't think I deserve it” Jihoon mumbled, a sad smile on his face. But Dr. Jeon only took his hand very much like the way he did last time and gave him the lollipop.

“You do. You endured the day well, nurse Lee”

After the incident, something shifted inside of Jihoon. It dawned on him just how crucial this line of work is and how much he doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. He still does his best but there's a part of him that repeatedly whispers I don't belong here. Still, he tried to put a front.

It doesn't feel like he's successful though as everyone treated him kinder. Most of his batchmates try to help him at any chance, volunteering on harder works and leaving out the easy ones to Jihoon. Their instructor seems to know it and never calls them out. In fact, Jihoon feels like he helps them. They're treating him like a fragile flower and normally, Jihoon would've been mad. But the days have been hard so he let it continue like he wasn't aware.

And then there's Dr. Jeon. 

Jihoon genuinely thought that the doctor only said it to make him smile that day, but apparently Dr. Jeon is serious about joining him at the fire exit. It's not every shift, but whenever time allows it, Dr. Jeon brings food to the fire exit for the two of them to enjoy. The first time it happened, Jihoon was eating boiled egg and Dr. Jeon brought him sushi. The expensive kind like he promised. It flustered Jihoon so much he ended up choking on the dry yolk. 

And Dr. Jeon continued. Bringing him wagyu sandwich, steaming hot japanese ramen, even pasta at some point. Jihoon was spoiled. And everyone seems to know it too. Jihoon knows people starts to whisper. Junhui doesn't even whisper and immediately asked him what's between the two of them. Which is... nothing? Dr. Jeon is just being nice to him just like everybody is.

Everybody except medusa. Because of course nurse Cha hated him even more once rumors go around that Dr. Jeon favors him. She doesn't even try to be subtle about it. The chief nurse showing power tripping and even if their instructor tries to protect him, Dr. Choi can only do so much.

And it's not like the Chief nurse is doing something illegal, no. What she does is give Jihoon a hard time by giving him rude patients that she knows would give him a hard time. Or giving him cases that he shouldn't handle at all because it's not yet his place to do so. He managed to get out of the latter most of the time but the first one? The chief nurse does have a power to do that.

Like today. The teenager came with complaints of stomachache but once they found out that he's just a student nurse, he became increasingly difficult and the parent won't even help. Actually, the parent helps her child be difficult. He won't answer anything seriously, nor does his mother. He won't let Jihoon take his vital signs, and would scream at him to get lost. He tried hard to be patient but the parent had asked him to get an actual nurse three times already and Jihoon had already tried three times too but nurse Cha won't let the nurses help him. Leaving him stranded and isolated in the case while the parent and child duo continues to berate him.

And as if that's not bad enough, Dr. Ho found him being yelled at by the mother like that. He took over and berated the chief nurse and nurses on clock why none of them tried to help him. And medusa completely turned the story around. Saying how it's him who presented to do it and had promised that it's under his control and how he doesn't want any help from them. That he wants to prove that he's learning something. It was so bullshit but the nurses can't refute to help him and he ended up being yelled at by the doctor instead.

“Just because we let you take the reign at times doesn't mean you have to be a know it all! Let the actual nurses do their fucking job and get out of the way if you can't handle shit” The doctor screamed and Jihoon can only bow his head because they're not even in his office. They're in the hospital hallway where everybody else can hear everything.

“What's going on?” Jihoon swallowed his whimper when he heard Dr. Jeon's voice. But unlike when he talks to Jihoon, his voice is cold and smooth. Impersonal.

“Nothing of your concern Dr. Jeon”

“It is my concern if you are doing it publicly like this. Do you not see the people filming? What would they say if this goes out?”

“That we have an incompetent intern and that he needed to be put in place. Listen, Dr. Jeon. We know you're fond of him. But don't you think you're being biased here? He made a mistake”

“How so? What mistake?”

“Nurse Lee here, tried to take on a patient that has asked multiple times for another medical staff—”

“And why didn't any medical staff helped?”

“Because he won't let them!”

“Is that so?”

“Yes”

Dr. Jeon stared down at the other doctor who looks at him naughtily. Jihoon wants to stop Dr. Jeon from stepping in because he doesn't want to drag him down with him but he doesn't trust himself to speak. Already shaking from all the yelling he has received in just a single day.

“He won't let them?”

“I just said so”

“Is that right, Nurse Lee?” Jihoon was surprised when the question was addressed to him instead. Jihoon swallowed down the bile coming up to his throat when he saw how everyone is expecting him to answer. And he would've nodded. He almost did. Just to end the conversation but he saw how smug the chief nurse is. So despite being frightened, Jihoon slowly shook his head.

“Are you saying I'm a liar?” Dr. Ho asked angrily.

“I see. Nurse Lee, you're dismissed. I’ll bring you to your instructor and explain the situation. And Dr. Ho? I would be forwarding this case to HR and the board to be investigated. Have a nice day”

Dr. Jeon didn't wait for any of them to respond. A gentle hand settling on Jihoon's back as the doctor gently pushed him to walk with him. Jihoon remained silent because as soon as they're put of earshot, Dr. Jeon pulled out his phone and called somebody. It took him a few seconds to realize that he's calling dr. Choi, Jihoon's instructor and explained to him what happened. Jihoon thought that Dr. Jeon would bring him to the office where the student nurses uses as their room but Dr. Jeon led him to the fire exit instead.

“Jihoon-ah, breathe” Dr. Jeon said as soon the door closed. Jihoon immediately obeyed, body still conditioned to do anything his superiors say.

“It wasn't... I... I asked for help... But... But...”

“It's okay, breathe”

“I didn't want to do it!” Jihoon finally let out. “I don't want to do it... Hyung, I don't want to do this anymore” He sobbed and then he's being pulled in a hug.

“You don't have to, Jihoon-ah. You don't have to”

Dr. Jeon was there when he broke down in front of his parents. He kindly offered to drive him home when his instructor finally dismissed him. He didn't mean for Dr. Jeon to see it but as soon as he got out of the car and saw his mom waiting for him, he can't stop the tears flowing and with it is his words. He told them about how hard everything has been, how he's been trying his best, and he can't do it any longer. He knows that his parents talked to Dr. Jeon after but he doesn't know anything about it because he fell asleep crying.

He didn't come back to the hospital. Nor did he come back to his classes. His parents called the university and pulled him out. And when his aunt found out, she hugged him and apologized. She said that she only suggested it but when Jihoon didn't disagree, she thought that it would be best for Jihoon to study something practical and that would help their family. She said that she'll continue to support him through college no matter what course he would like to take on after.

Jihoon can't believe that it's that easy. That if he only asked help sooner or if he just spoken up, he would've been out of there earlier. But it doesn't matter anymore. Because he did enjoy some of it, befriended people and learned a lot of things. One of them being that nursing is a tough job that should be recognized more and that it isn't something meant for him.

When his drop out from the university was finalized and approved, Jihoon went to the school to say goodbye to his friends. Junhui cried like the big soft giant that he is and Dr. Choi apologized that he wasn't able to do more to stop the bullying from happening.

He returned to the hospital. But only because he wants to see Dr. Jeon. 

Now that everything died down and Jihoon isn't in the heights of his emotions, Jiho6kn realized how much the doctor has helped him throughout his rotations. He became a pillar that Jihoon depended and a support that Jihoon took courage with. Jihoon is also in love with him. That's something that Jihoon has thought about for days and days on end. 

How can he not fall though?

So now he's here. Standing in the office of Dr. Jeon... both to say goodbye and to confess. Strangely enough, he's not scared to do it. Maybe because it's the thought that he won't have to ever see him again after. Or maybe it's because he knew how kind the other is so even if he rejects Jihoon, he would do it kindly and gently. Like the warm person that he is.

“What are you gonna do now?” The doctor asked after Jihoon explained his disappearance.

“Media marketing, maybe. Or business. Just something that doesn't include keeping people alive” He shrugged.

“You did well, you know? It must be hard to see it now because of everything that happened but you were great. But I’m glad that you're not forcing yourself to do it anymore and I’m sure that whatever path you'll take, you'll do great there as well”

Jihoon smiled at the doctor's kind words. 

“Thank you... Wonwoo hyung”

Jihoon almost didn't say his feelings, content with the warm conversation between them. Maybe it's best to keep their goodbyes like this. But when Dr. Jeon slid a cat shaped lollipop in front of him, Jihoon decided that he can't back out now. It's not like he's expecting something anyway. He just wants the doctor to know his feelings because the doctor deserved to know what kind of a great person he is.

“I like you” He said, simple and straightforward “You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that before I leave and never come back”

“You're not coming back?” The doctor asked and Jihoon wondered if he realized that Jihoon said I like you to him not just as a friend but romantically.

“There's no reason for me to do so”

“Even if your boyfriend is a doctor?” 

Jihoon raised his eyebrows in confusion. Where did the doctor ever get that?

“I... don't have a boyfriend?”

“Then let's give you one”

“Huh?”

“Me” And then Dr. jeon, no, Wonwoo, is standing up from his seat. Walking around his table until he's standing right in front of Jihoon. His hands reaching up until he's cupping Jihoon's face with both of his hands. His thumbs gently caressing the skin of Jihoon’s cheeks 

“Jihoon-ah... I like you too. Be my boyfriend?”

Jihoon can't help the giggle that bubbles out from his mouth, his heart running mile in a minute like it's about to burst. He's not expecting anything out of his confession but he is not opposed to the result. Oh, he so is not.

“Is there... is there any violation in the hospital if I kiss you right now?” Jihoon asked, stepping closer so there would be barely any space between them.

“None. And I wouldn't care either way”

Most people describe their first kiss with fireworks or bursting sparks. But when Wonwoo finally pressed their lips together, all that Jihoon can feel is warmth. He was at peace, calm. Especially when Wonwoo pulled him closer and deepened their kiss. Like he's wrapping Jihoon up in safety. He's safe. Here, in Wonwoo's arms. He's been his safe zone all along.

When Jihoon decided to say his goodbyes, he never expected that he'll look back. 

But it looks like he'll be coming back to the hospital after all.