Chapter Text
Something Laura Roslin has learned is that life can come crashing down in an instant. One moment can change everything, can pull the rug out from under you, cause the stars to fall, completely change the trajectory of your life. One moment is all it takes, and you'll never be the same. That's how she feels while she sits in the doctors office after school one evening.
"We should book an appoitment to talk about your test results," the doctor had said.
"Is... Everything okay?"
"My secretary will book you an appoitment, Ms. Roslin." That's when everything started to spiral, an appoitment was never good news, if everything was fine the doctor would have told her over the phone.
"Alright," she said with her heart in her throat. She remembered another night were everything changed.
"Laura there's something your mother needs to tell you."
"Don't worry, everything will be okay." It was in fact, not okay. "I've been diagnosed with breast cancer, Laura, but it will be okay, I'm going to fight this." Her mother had fought it with everything in her and still she lost, fading away until she was only a shell of her former self, until she was gone completely and Laura had been by her side for every excruciating moment of it.
"It's just a bad day Laura." It wasn't just a bad day, it was one of many bad days. Her mother had been a relatively happy, optimistic person. Her laugh would ring through the house, and she'd hum to herself as she did chores. That hadn't changes when she had been diagnosed with cancer, not right away.
"I'm going to get through this Laura." Slowly she had started to fade, as the treatments took their toll she had stopped humming and stopped laughing and worst of all, she had lost hope, in the last days. She no longer tried to convince her family that she was going to be okay, becuase she was sure she wasn't. Instead she would grasp Laura's hand, and her sisters and fathers.
"I love you," she told all of them, especially near the end. She didn't know which day was going to be her last, so she made sure to tell them every single day. Laura's heart still ached when she thought about her mother, when she thought about any of her family members. They were all gone to soon.
She had a job as a professor of one of the top universities. She liked her job, for a while it had been one of the only things she liked in her life. Until she met Bill Adama. He was head of campus security, one night she had been working late, until it was dark outside as she walked to her car, someone ran up behind her, and yanked her purse from her grasp. She let out a startled gasp, and watched as they took off with it. Only for them to be stopped by Bill, and her purse returned to her. It was a students of the university who Bill dragged over to apologized to her and the kid had confessed that his friends had dared him to do it. She'd accepted his apology, gave him a stern look and he ran off back to his group of friends whose laughter Laura could hear.
"You okay?" he asked her.
"Quite fine." He insisted on walking her to her car. This became their tradition, even when it was still light outside. They had met a little over a year ago, then they started to eat lunch together as friends. Until nearly a year after they had met, he finally asked her out an actual date. The memory usual made her smile but today it just reminded her of what she had to lose.
He walked her to her car, like he always did, this time they discussed one of the books they had both read recently. The sun was dipping below the horizon, and the warm summer air had cooled, but it was still warm enough not to need a jacket. Laura held a binder full of papers that needed grading it was a Friday evening and she would spend her weekend grading papers. They made it to her car and she opened the door, tossing the binder onto the passenger seat.
"We'll have to continue this discussion another time." She was about to get into her car but a hand on her arm stopped her. She turned to face him. Something in his expression changed then, he looked a little nervous.
"We could continue it over dinner," Bill said meeting her eyes. He shuffled his feet waiting for her answer. A smile crossed her face. About time.
"Okay." He had taken her out to dinner, where they had discussed their favorite books, his time in the military, her brief time as secetary of education and anything else they thought of. The conversation didn't lull and they both had a wonderful time, he walked her to her door and kissed her cheek before he left. She had felt happier than, then she had in a long time.
Since that time they had been dating for around a month.
"Laura Roslin." the doctor said. Her heart beat faster and her palms sweat as she stood following him into his office. "Sit down." She sat. "How are you doing?" he asked.
"Fine." she replied tersely, she didn't currently have the mental capacity for small talk. "Doctor, will you just tell me my test results?" It might have sounded rude, but at this moment she didn't care.
"I'm going to get right to the point, I'm sorry, the tests confirmed you have cancer." The room seamed to spin around her for a second, her heart rate increasing and her stomach twisted. "Your lucky, we caught this early, your best option is Diloxin, I can't guarantee anything, but it's what I would recommend." His words sounded like he was talking underwater and Laura was having a hard time understanding them. He handed her some pamphlets. "Go home, talk to your family about this, before making your decision." She stood and she must have walked to her car, but everything passed in a blur. She held onto the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white, willing herself not to cry. Not to think of her mother and every agonizing moment, as she watched her slip away. Her mother fading into nothing, the cancer took her life but the diloxin took her will to live. Would she really follow the path of her mother? Laura had never wished more that her mother was still alive, that she could talk to her, ask her what to do. Not that the doctor made it sound like their was much of a choice, it was either diloxin, or... She didn't allow herself to think about that possibility yet. She drew in a ragged breath, her breathing had become quicker. Her heart was racing. She rested her head on the steering wheel taking in slow deep breathes. It's okay, she told herself, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. There was a knock at her window, it startled her, sending her heart rate spiking again, she looked up quickly to see the secretary holding up Laura's purse. She opened her car door.
"You forgot this." Laura took her purse back.
"Thank you," she said her voice sounding gravely.
"Is there anyone I could call for you?" The secetary asked. Briefly Laura thought of Bill.
"No, there's no one." She left and Laura drove away. She had plans with Bill this evening but she texted him and cancelled. She couldn't face him today, and she knew one thing for sure, she could never drag him into this. By the time she was home, she had decided she would do diloxin, and she couldn't let Bill watch her suffer, the way she had watched her mother. He might be one of the few people left in this world who still cared for her and she wouldn't put him through this. She still remember the expression on her fathers face, when he sat beside her mothers bedside, holding her hand as she lay dying and their was nothing he could do about it. The heartbreak in his eyes, he would have walked to the moon for her, but he couldn't save her.
She and Bill had only been really dating for a month, but she knew he would volunteer, no he would insist on staying at her side. It was too early in the relationship to ask this of him, and she couldn't let him watch her fade away. She would fight to get through this, and if she did, she would go back to him, and ask for a second chance, she could only hope he would forgive her.