Archive of Our Own

Feng Xin entered into the forest. The only sound surrounding him was the one from his steps. 

With Fengshen at hand, he had chased an elusive ghost there. 

The ghost in question was some strange spirit that had bothered too many people that raised their prayers to General Nan Yang. 

The prayers were too many, too specific and unsettling. They basically said that people were encountering deputies of his palace that were personally answering some of their prayers. That, of course, was a trap. There weren’t deputies answering prayers directly, but also, the people that had their prayers “answered” died some hours or days after that. 

Their relatives were the ones that, more than praying to him, had questioned his methods. 

That was too much. Some ghost was tricking his followers, making him look like a lying and cruel god, and in the process hurting them! 

He had to act. And he did.

This was a matter that he decided to handle by himself. It wasn’t just his reputation; it was also the safety of his people. 

Finding the ghost hadn’t been a big deal. It was a weak old thing that could shapeshift. Physically it wasn’t a rival for Feng Xin. A couple of blows and a good kick had sent it rolling into the woods.

But Feng Xin knew something was off. 

That ghost had impersonated his deputies and sank the mortals that encountered him into some kind of dream that made them believe their desperate prayers had been answered and then that dream led them to death. 

So, the ghost’s strong point wasn’t the physical fight. Therefore, Feng Xin should be really careful with it. 

The deep silence of his surroundings was proof that the ghost was close, although he couldn’t feel or see anything.

Suddenly, a sad sigh sounded behind him, making him shiver.

In no time he charged and shot three arrows but immediately he realized something was off. His arrows moved slowly as if time had frozen around them. He noticed his body was heavy and numb and a sudden sleep invaded him.

As slowly as his arrows, he fell on his back. An unbearable tiredness took him and by the moment his body touched the ground his eyes were already closed.

Before losing consciousness completely, he managed to hear something.

“Oh, General. Who would imagine that answering your prayer would be this easy?”

-

Xie Lian poured another cup of tea for Mu Qing and himself. 

This was the fourth cup of tea he served for them. They already ate the pastries Mu Qing had brought, leaving a couple aside for the other guest that after a long time hadn’t arrived.

“He is not coming.” Mu Qing said after sipping his tea.

“It seems you are right.” Xie Lian didn’t sound exactly sad but it was obvious he cared for his friend’s absence. 

Mu Qing rolled his eyes, stupid Feng Xin, making them waste time.

“Tsk, at least he should have the decency to let us know he wasn’t coming!”

“He didn’t tell you anything?”

“No. I know he was on a mission, that’s all. Maybe it took him more than expected.” Mu Qing let out a small smirk thinking how useless Feng Xin could be that he couldn’t finish a mission on time for their meeting. 

However, Xie Lian’s expression wasn’t one of fun or anything, he seemed worried.

Mu Qing rolled his eyes again and put his fingers on his temple to call Feng Xin and cut the little drama that was about to happen in Xie Lian’s head. 

He was ready to say something purposely annoying but couldn’t do it because there was nothing in the communication array. Nothing but silence.

Mu Qing's slightly frown didn't go unnoticed by Xie Lian. 

“What happened?” 

Concern was evident in his face and voice and, without waiting for a response, he reached for Feng Xin in the communication array just to face the same issue as Mu Qing.

“This is not normal, Mu Qing.”

Mu Qing's frown grew deeper. He would like to say Xie Lian was overreacting, but he was right. If Feng Xin was delayed for any reason, he would have let them know. This silence wasn't ok.

Without wasting more time, both of them returned to Heavens and headed to Nan Yang’s Palace. 

Upon arriving, they realized that they weren't the only ones disturbed by the absence of the General.

There were deputies hastily carrying scrolls to an improvised council table at one side of the palace. At that table there were three deputies that were the ones with the higher rank in the palace. They were reading those scrolls and comparing some maps. 

One of them lifted his head and at the sight of the other gods, paled. 

“Your Highness! General Xuan Zhen!” He saluted them politely although anxiously.

All the other deputies halted their tasks and looked at them with shocked expressions.

Mu Qing didn't have time or patience for this attitude. 

“Where is your General?” He said without any trace of delicacy.

“We… don't know”. Other of the deputies at the table answered carefully. It was a girl, one of the very few that were part of the Palace of Nan Yang, and she must be remarkable if she was appointed by Feng Xin and was part of his head deputies. 

Mu Qing sighed impatiently, making an annoyed face, but before he could say anything, Xie Lian spoke:

“What’s the last thing you knew? We can’t contact him.”

The deputies that were at the table made different kinds of complicated expressions.

“Our General went to the mortal realm to deal personally with a ghost…” The third deputy answered. His voice was low and doubtful.

“And why weren’t you with him?” Mu Qing’s question was cold and harsh, as if he was demanding a report from his own deputies.

There was a short and uncomfortable silence before the girl spoke again.

“He didn’t want us to go with him… But we went to look for him!” She spread the maps on the table and pointed out some red marks. “We knew where he was and when he stopped responding we went there!... But we couldn’t find him. We covered the entire marked territory based on his last known position, but we couldn’t even feel any trace of spiritual energy…”

“It’s as if he had disappeared.” Another deputy at the table said, making his partners make an uncomfortable face.

“What kind of mission was he on?” Xie Lian didn’t bother in hiding his increasing concern.

The deputies explained to them the details of the mission, the methods of the ghost and how people were hurt.

While they were talking, Mu Qing looked at the map realizing that the zone the ghost had attacked was too far away from the frontier between the Southern territories and that’s why he hadn’t heard anything about the issue. He also noticed that the deputies had done a good job at covering a vast portion of territory. Which made even more unsettling Feng Xin’s disappearance.

He looked at Xie Lian. No words were necessary between them. They knew each other pretty well and were aware of the actions they needed to take.

“General Xuan Zhen and I are going to take this task in our hands.” Xie Lian said softly while Mu Qing took the map with him. “Please, bring all the information you have about the ghost to the Palace of Ling Wen and we’ll keep in touch.”

Xie Lian’s voice was soft and his smile reassuring. Some deputies let out a soft sigh, others even smiled a little. Maybe it was Xie Lian’s effect on them or the fact that they were as fond of him as their General.  

To Mu Qing it didn’t matter the reason because he knew Xie Lian was as disturbed as the deputies.

They left the Palace of Nan Yang as fast as they could and went directly to the place marked on the map.

It was a forest that didn’t seem to have anything unusual, but with a little more focus than usual they could sense a kind of thickness in the air, like remnants of spiritual energy. But it was so small that it could explain why not even the best deputies could feel it.

They follow the thick air to a clearing in the forest.

It was stronger there, but there wasn’t anything in sight. They moved until they were in the center of the clearing. The spiritual energy was stronger there, but they couldn’t see anything. 

After looking around and being sure that there wasn’t anything else, both of them looked to the soil under them. 

Mu Qing kneeled and touched the messy grass. On the surface it seemed just a regular piece of soil with herbs and little flowers, but under it, it clearly felt the spiritual energy that had brought them there. 

With a small beam of light, Xie Lian removed the first layer of soil and under it they found Feng Xin.

Unintentionally, both of them gasped and rushed to remove all the dirt and grass covering him.

Feng Xin was unconscious, surrounded by vines. It seemed like he was sprouting from the earth, as if he had been sown.

Mu Qing used a small knife to cut the vines and, hastily, they moved him outside of the earth. 

His body was limp, except for his right hand that was holding strongly at Fengshen. The spiritual energy that led them to Feng Xin actually came from the bow. The weapon had saved him. 

Xie Lian and Mu Qing checked him and, besides some dirt from the soil, he had not a single wound. However…

“His spiritual energy is very low”. Mu Qing said after having checked his wrist.

“But he doesn’t have any visible wounds…” Xie Lian checked him again. Nothing.

“Forget it. Let’s go back to Heavens and see what we can do there” While saying that Mu Qing was already lifting Feng Xin to carry him.

They returned fast and headed directly to Nan Yang’s Palace. 

The only proof of life from Feng Xin was that as soon as they entered his palace, he let go of Fengshen, as if the weapon knew he was finally safe.

Xie Lian called Ling Wen through the communication array and informed her about the situation. 

She, as diligent as always, was already researching this strange ghost. However, as the information wasn’t much and she basically just started, there wasn’t anything conclusive yet. 

Besides, Feng Xin was still losing spiritual energy. It was as if a boat had a leak and was slowly sinking. So, in the meantime, Lin Wen recommended giving him as much spiritual energy as necessary to avoid the risk of him being completely drained. 

With that, Xie Lian and Mu Qing made a plan.

First, they established an amount of spiritual energy they could give without them being destabilized. After all, they should be careful in case they needed to face the ghost that had hurt Feng Xin.

Second, Mu Qing tested how long it would take for their spiritual energy to be consumed by Feng Xin. It lasted over half a day, which meant that Feng Xin wasn’t losing his spiritual energy as fast as they imagined.

With that, Xie Lian asked the other martial gods for help. Also, he told the Nan Yang’s deputies to visit some of the main cultivators in charge of the temples and ordered them to perform some kind of service in the name of their god. Maybe some group prayers could collect extra merits that could help to maintain Feng Xin’s spiritual energy.

Finally, he talked with his San Lang, more to express his frustration than anything else. But of course, Hua Cheng wouldn’t let his gege to be sad or worried, so he decided to do research himself.

- 

Feng Xin found himself in front of a lake. It looked a lot like the pond he had in the garden of his own palace, but it was bigger, vast. Around him there were trees and plants, but they seemed really far away. Everything looked gray as if color had disappeared from the world.

He felt very cold.

He looked at his hands and saw a thin layer of energy that was running out of him, like sand held in his hands. He wanted to do something, but he couldn’t. All he could do was to remain there watching his hands hopelessly. 

He didn’t know how much time he was like that until he felt something behind him. A warmth that hushed away the cold that was scalding his bones. That warmth let him move a little and turn to face it. 

There he saw light and color. 

It was far away from him, but it felt good, nice, and familiar. 

Sometimes the light was silver, other times it was light pink, almost white. There was also one that was reddish and orange, another was light blue and a bright yellow one. Those lights never appeared at the same time and, even when his body felt numb, they made him feel different things.

He couldn’t make up his mind on those feelings, but they were good and motivated him to move, as if he wanted to chase those lights. There was fondness, tranquility, amusement, relaxation, curiosity.

Other times, there were small lights, like fireflies and he felt moved by them. He wanted to hold them and protect them.

Either way, those lights helped him to move away from the lake and that was good enough for him.

-

It was the third day since Feng Xin had been brought back when the nightmare of the Heavens arrived. 

He, of course, first kissed his flustered husband in the middle of the main square of the city and in front of everybody. Just to keep the habit.

Then, he went to talk to Ling Wen. After exchanging information, they met at Feng Xin’s chambers with Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Pei Ming. The latter was in his shift for giving spiritual energy.

“The ghost is a parasite. It feeds of mortal’s spiritual energy and it found an effective way to attack them and absorb that energy.” Hua Cheng said quickly and coldly, as if he was presenting a report.

“That effective way was to make the mortals believe that their prayers were being answered directly by General Nan Yang. So, somehow, they told the ghost his wishes and that allowed it to make them fall in a deadly dream.” Ling Wen complemented the information. “That was what the general went to research and somehow he was affected by the same curse that the mortals.”

“Do we know how the curse works? Or how it managed to affect Feng Xin?” Xie Lian asked, concern evident over his face and voice.

“To mortals is easy to guess” Hua Cheng answered softly, taking Xie Lian’s hand. “The ghost probably read their minds. There’s a chance that even some of them said out loud what they wanted. From there, the ghost would immerse them into some hallucination that allowed it to suck all their energy until they died.”

The room fell into silence.

“But then…” the one who spoke was Pei Ming who was focused on his task of giving Feng Xin some spiritual energy. “How was Nan Yang cursed? He wouldn’t just hold a conversation with the ghost and his mind being read sounds just… wrong.”

“But it seemed that was what happened. Maybe he wished for this.” Hua Cheng’s answer brought back the silence to the room.

“That doesn’t make any sense” Finally, Mu Qing, who was weirdly quiet, said. “Why would he wish for this?”

“Maybe he didn’t wish exactly for this” Xie Lian said, “but probably there was something in his mind that opened a gap that allowed the ghost to attack…”

Mu Qing frowned and huffed. - “Fine! Whatever, so how do we stop this? How do we get him back?”

“I’m not sure how to wake him, but the best chance we have now is to destroy the ghost because it is the main cause of the loss of energy. From that, maybe he would wake up by himself, or we can focus on making him wake up without worrying about the spiritual energy being wasted.” Ling Wen said, practical and direct, as usual. “Also, the ghost is probably weakened.”

“How's that?” Mu Qing was lacking patience

“It is like a leech and attacking a god was beyond its capabilities. So, it’s over feeded, Nan Yang’s spiritual energy is too much for it.”

“San Lang, you know where this ghost is, right?”

“Of course, gege, I found it for you.”

In no time, Xie Lian, Hua Cheng and Mu Qing went to the mortal realm to hunt down that annoying ghost.

It wasn't hard to find because, as Ling Wen had said, feeding on a god’s spiritual energy was too much for it. 

The ghost was inside a small cave. Unable to move, it was an amorphous mass of tissue and dark energy. They couldn't know what its original form was.

Mu Qing stepped in before the others and pointed at it with a sword. It was a spiritual weapon that shone a little when it got close to the ghost. He didn't use his Zhan Madao, first because the place was too small and the size of the weapon would be problematic. Second, it wasn't necessary because the ghost didn't represent any threat to them.

“... Gods are so… annoying…” The ghost talked but it was more like a voice ringing in their minds. The physical thing that was lying on the floor didn't even have a mouth. It sounded exhausted and low.

“What did you do to Nan Yang?” Mu Qing's voice was cold and he pinched the ghost with the tip of the sword. From the small perforation came a disgusting light brown liquid and behind it came a beam of golden light.

“This thing is being consumed by Feng Xin's spiritual energy” Mu Qing didn't bother to hide his disgust.

Xie Lian approached the mass on the floor. It was disgusting and pitiful, but its dark energy hadn't relented at all. It didn't seem to regret anything.

“What did you do to general Nan Yang?” He repeated the question. “You can end your suffering now if you tell us what you did”.

“Hehehe…” The laugh rang annoyingly inside their minds. “I… didn't do anything the god of the Southeast didn't wish for…”

“He wouldn't wish that!” Mu Qing pinched again, and the skin of the ghost reacted as before.

“Hehehe… hehe… but he did! I heard it!... Inside his mind there was that thought… so clear” The mass shrieked and light began to sprout from different cuts. It seemed as if it had reached its limit.

“What thought!?” Xie Lian said harshly. Any information could be of help.

“He wanted… to disappear … I just answered the god's prayer… Heheheheheh aaaahhggg…”

The mass was engulfed by a huge amount of golden light and in no time, it was reduced to ashes. 

All the dark energy was gone and there was only a gray mark over the cave's floor.

Xie Lian and Mu Qing didn't waste time and returned fast to the Heavens.

-

Feng Xin was following the reddish orange light that was helping him this time when suddenly all colors returned, the cold disappeared and he found himself in the middle of the garden of his palace.

The garden was the same as usual, but it looked bigger and lonely.

He went to the main entrance of the garden, but even though he remembered perfectly where it was, he couldn’t find it. There was a fog that seemed to lead him to a long field, an extension of the garden.

Every time he walked to it nothing happened. The fog remained and the entrance didn’t appear.

-

Upon entering Feng Xin's chambers they found Pei Ming on guard, his expression slightly worried. 

“What did you do down there?” He asked without lifting his gaze from Feng Xin's body. 

“Nothing really, the ghost was consumed by Feng Xin's energy.” Xie Lian answered softly.

“Mmm, that explains why I suddenly felt a burst of energy coming from him. It seems he recovered his lost spiritual energy and is no longer losing it”.

Mu Qing approached and checked Feng Xin's wrist. His spiritual energy was stable and strong. So, without any warning he slapped him.

“Mu Qing! Why did you do that?” Xie Lian ran to move away Mu Qing's hand. 

“If his spiritual energy is restored, he should be awake already! Why is he making us waste time?”

Xie Lian looked back at Feng Xin. Still motionless over the bed, only his head slightly twisted to one side because of the slap. Instinctively, he checked again his wrist, just to prove that his energy was fine.

“Mmm, he seems fine, then why doesn't he wake up?” He looked at Hua Cheng who was standing at the entrance.

Hua Cheng walked near the bed and looked at Feng Xin, his expression unreadable. 

“He is probably stuck.” All of the present looked at him waiting for an explanation. He made an exasperated sound but continued anyway. “The ghost said that it “answered” his prayers. Its technique consisted in deceiving people into hallucinations until their energy was over. As this time the energy didn’t run out, then the ghost didn’t end the hallucination.”

“But if the ghost is gone, wouldn’t that mean that the hallucination should go with it too? Just as the energy came back to him.” Pei Ming asked.

“Yeah, but this time the hallucinations caused by that ghost weren’t something it created by its own power, but some kind of mental state reached by the ghost’s initiative.”

“So…” Xie Lian started carefully. “The ghost couldn’t know what to show to the people because it didn’t have the power to do it. It only used their wish or stronger thought to drive them into some hallucination until they died… We don’t know exactly what they saw, and we can’t know what Feng Xin's state of mind is…”

“Exactly, is more a state of mind than something purely spiritual.”

“What if I try to do the Soul Shifting Spell?”

“Absolutely no, gege!” - “No!”

Hua Cheng and Mu Qing spoke and shut up at the same time, looking at each other suspiciously.

“... It’s not a good idea,” Mu Qing said finally. “We don’t know exactly what’s going on and as it’s not something spiritual there’s a chance you get stuck with him.”

“Maybe he just needs a little help to come back.”

Xie Lian, Hua Cheng and Mu Qing looked at the door and found Ling Wen there. She was carrying a scroll and entered without rush.

“I called her,” said Pei Ming when neither of the other three men reacted. “It seemed you were going round in circles.” He adorned his words with a reassuring smile.

Ling Wen opened the scroll over a small table. - “The mind is like a labyrinth; it can be full of paths and doors and any of us can be lost in it.”

“Even if it is our own mind?” Mu Qing asked with worry. 

“The mind is a mystery. Even if we believe that we have everything settled, there could be some thoughts that trigger an unexpected reaction. That’s what the ghost took advantage of.” She pointed some drawings at the scroll. “Let’s say that the ghost pushed people into the labyrinth of their minds and they didn’t have the time to return before they were killed. Luckily this is not the case. So, we are in the stage where Nan Yang is lost, and he needs help to find the door out of that labyrinth.”

“And how are we supposed to help him out?” Mu Qing sounded more and more annoyed.

“By talking to him.” Mu Qing frowned, Xie Lian made a curious face, and Pei Ming raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Noble Jie, you lost us here.” 

Ling Wen sighed loudly and tiredly. - “There’s a chance, and I’m not sure that I’m correct, that he’s lost because he was sad or melancholic about something.” She waited a little for them to get her words. “According to his deputies' reports, the prayers that were falsely answered were related to sadness, yearning, feeling of loss…”

“In the cave,” Xie Lian interrupted, “the ghost said he wanted to disappear. I didn’t understand what it meant, but now it makes sense.” Xie Lian sighed and returned to Feng Xin’s bed, sitting next to him. “I’m not sure what we should say to him…”

“If what the ghost said is true and he wanted to disappear, then maybe try some reassuring words.” Ling Wen's tone softened. “You are his friends; it wouldn't be bad if you remind him about that. ”

“How long is it going to take?” Mu Qing asked.

“I don’t know.”

They went all silent again.

After a while, they decided to do it. Reluctantly, Hua Cheng returned to Ghost City and Ling Wen went back to work.

“Let me try something and see if it works. I’m not as close to him as you, but I’m good with words!” Pei Ming offered, full of confidence. “Besides, I’m charming, maybe that helps.”

At these words Xie Lian laughed softly, and Mu Qing rolled his eyes, but they appreciated Pei Ming’s help and good mood.

“Hey, Nan Yang! You!” He pointed at Feng Xin. Xie Lian and Mu Qing crossed a look. “You are a nice guy! We have fun together! Also,” He started to move around Feng xin’s bed. He was in a full performance mood. “I believe you are a really decent general, your strategies are good and working with you has been an honor.” He stopped again next to him. “Besides, things won’t be the same without you around. You can ask Xuan Zhen and His Highness if you don’t believe me!” At this he winked at them. “So, time to find the way back, General.” With this, he snapped his fingers next to Feng Xin’s ear.

-

Feng Xin let out a frustrated sigh. The fog didn't let him see where he was heading and he felt he was running in circles.

But suddenly, he heard something inside the fog. It was a buzz. 

He followed the noise going into the fog, and this time the fog moved away showing him another part of the garden.

There, he found several bees, buzzing and flying from flower to flower. 

The view and the buzzing produced in him a calming feeling but also some kind of tickle inside his head.

That made him laugh.

-

The three of them looked at Feng Xin waiting for any response to Pei Ming’s words.

And they got it.

It was almost imperceptible, but he moved one of his brows and the corner of his mouth in a very slight intent of a smile.

“Gods! General Pei!” Xie Lian didn’t hide his excitement. “It worked! He had a reaction!” Xie Lian sat next to Feng Xin and held his hand.

“Of course it worked! And with such simple words!” He turned to Mu Qing and put a hand on his shoulder. “Xuan Zhen, if he reacted like that with my words, imagine how he would react with yours?”

“W-What?” Mu Qing tensed under Pei Ming’s hand.

“Yes! Mu Qing, try it! Say something to him!” Xie Lian was very excited.

“I…” Mu Qing looked at the other two and felt his face turning red. What was he supposed to say? “I-I won’t say anything if you are here.”

Xie Lian's smile fell. “But, talking to him is working!”

“I know! And I will talk to him… but not with you here.” He crossed his arms and turned his face away.

Xie Lian knew him well. He was stubborn and he won’t do anything until he and Pei Ming leave the room. “Fine, but don’t hit him again, ok?”

“I won’t hit him.” He answered between his teeth.

Pei Ming and Xie Lian leave the room while talking about what happened and how Xie Lian needed to think about what to say to Feng Xin when his turn came.

After being sure he was alone, Mu Qing turned to look at Feng Xin.

He didn’t say anything in a good while. Maybe Pei Ming's words were enough for Feng Xin to wake up…

But nothing more happened and Mu Qing needed to say something to try to bring him back.

“When you are back, you really need to make up for us! Was this really what you wanted? Did you become more stupid than usual!?”

Mu Qing realized his voice was too loud and sealed his lips.

He sighed deeply.

“I-I don’t know why you would want to disappear, but that’s a terrible idea, the worst you have had in centuries… Why don’t you want to stay? You are tough! And… I’ve seen you enduring a lot of things. Then, why now?” He moved closer to the bed and stayed next to it. “We survived Jun Wu. Xie Lian is back and fine and we… We are friends! And you want to leave!” 

His voice sounded bitter. 

He sighed and sat on the bed, closer to Feng Xin. Softly, Mu Qing moved some strands of hair from Feng Xin’s forehead, his movements delicate. “I’m being selfish,” He whispered, as if he was actually waking up Feng Xin if he spoke too loud. “I’m being selfish because I don’t want you to leave, but it’s because you didn’t give me time to… to get to know you better now that we are real friends. If we spend more time together, then maybe we can talk about whatever is happening to you. Maybe you could trust me and won’t fall victim to some stupid ghost.”

Mu Qing smiled sadly.

“Besides,” He continued softly. “I don’t want all the South for me. It’s too big and, honestly, it will be boring without you around.”

Mu Qing let out a bitter laugh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He looked at Feng Xin, but there wasn’t any reaction.

“Gods, this is stupid.”

Without looking back at Feng Xin, he stood from the bed and left the room.

-

Beyond the bees and flowers, the fog dispersed more. 

Feng Xin walked more in it, an anxious feeling increasing inside his chest until in front of him appeared a tall, elegant tree.

He approached the tree and realized it was a cherry tree. 

Feng Xin was surprised. He was sure he didn’t have any cherry trees in his garden.

But anyway, he put his hand on the tree trunk.

It was warm and filled him with peace and fondness. Without thinking too much about it, he rested his forehead on the trunk. The warmth of the tree filled his body.

Then, he hugged the tree. That made him laugh and he remained there while the fog cleared more.

-

Xie Lian was entering Nan Yang palace after picking some flowers when he saw Mu Qing coming out. He tried to ask him how everything went but Mu Qing passed next to him without even giving him a look.

He then entered quickly, worried that something may have happened. But he just found Feng Xin resting as usual; the only difference was that he had his hands over his chest, as if he was holding something near his heart.

Xie Lian thought he looked endearing and wondered if Feng Xin had moved himself to that position after hearing whatever Mu Qing said to him. 

“Hi.” He said softly while arranging the flowers in a vase. “I picked these for you, I hope you like them.”

He sat on the bed and then he leaned next to Feng Xin. He moved his head until it touched Feng Xin’s.

“My dear friend, we still have so many things to talk about. I know things have changed a lot but if there’s someone I’ve always felt genuine, that’s you.” Xie Lian smiled and closed his eyes. “Remember, back then when we were young, that sometimes we spent a lot of time at night talking just like this? You needed to wake up early to train and you always did it! You never missed a single training session, even when you slept late because of me and you spent the rest of the day tired and sleepy. You always worked so hard.” 

Xie Lian went silent for a while. He thought that talking to Feng Xin about a good memory they shared would be a good idea, but he couldn’t avoid feeling sad too. Pulling out too many memories could be a double-edged weapon.

“The thing is, my good friend, that as the hard worker man you’ve been your whole life, you deserve to enjoy the things you’ve earned. So, come back to us, ok?”

Xie Lian smiled and closed his eyes; softly he caressed one of Feng Xin’s arms trying not to move it from the position it had over his chest.

“When you return, we will talk more and I will be able to tell you this and more things directly.”

-

Feng Xin saw that behind the cherry tree the fog cleared and a field of flowers extended far away. The flowers were white and pink, and he felt longing. He went into that field feeling light and happy. He felt like home and couldn’t avoid sitting in the middle of those flowers.

He smiled and breathed deeply to record the scent of the flowers.

He remained there for a while, enjoying the view, resting and watching as the fog went away slowly. 

He felt calm but some kind of resolution filled his mind.

He knew he needed to look for the garden’s entrance and he was receiving help. 

So, he took that help and, standing up, went directly to the road that was showing after the fog left.

The bees, the tree and the flower garden didn't disappear, he felt then as if the garden moved with him.

He couldn't see the door yet, but he was sure that it was there.

-

Xie Lian was focused on the steady sound of Feng Xin's breath when he felt a change in it. 

Feng Xin breathed deeply and tense his body, but not in a worrying way but more like when someone is waking up. He also clenched his fits and moved his mouth a little, as if he wanted to say something. 

“Feng Xin!” Xie Lian jumped and took his shoulders, inevitably shaking him a little. “I'm here, can you hear me?”

Feng Xin moved a little but still didn't open his eyes.

Xie Lian called Mu Qing through the communication array, and he arrived as fast as he could.

“Mu Qing! He's waking up! But it's like he's still stuck.”

Mu Qing stood there looking at Feng Xin. - “What did you say to him?”

“What?”

“Well, he's reacting, so it must have been something you said to him”. Mu Qing's tone was clinical, cold.

Xie Lian knew him very well.

“It's not something I said. It's what we did. Didn't you notice he moved after you talked to him!?”

Mu Qing’s eyes went wide. He didn't wait for Feng Xin's reaction after he talked to him. He thought his words hadn't worked. But either way, he couldn't say anything, he just stood there.

“Feng Xin!” Xie Lian continued. “We are here! Wake up! When you return… we can talk and drink tea!”

Feng Xin struggled more. This time, he let out some noises as he wanted to say something too.

Mu Qing came close to Feng Xin and put a finger over his forehead, tapping it annoyingly.

“General Nan Yang, if you don't return now, I will personally appear in your followers' dreams and ask them to pray publicly and loudly to Ju Yang to help their general to rise again.” 

Xie Lian gasped at that statement and for a moment stopped talking to Feng Xin and shaking him. But the shock didn't last long because a hand grabbed Mu Qing's wrist.

“Fuck… you…”

Feng Xin's voice was raspy and he still had his eyes closed, but his body was relaxed although the permanent frown had returned.

Xie Lian didn’t wait for anything and hugged him. - “You are back! I knew you were going to be back!”

Feng Xin let go of Mu Qing’s wrist and opened his eyes slowly. Xie Lian let go and helped him sit, then he brought him a glass of water.

“How are you feeling? Are you ok?” Xie Lian was happy but anxious.

Feng Xin drank all the water before answering. - “I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.”

“Did you hear when we talked to you?” Mu Qing asked. Unlike Xie Lian, he hadn’t approached the bed too much and was standing next to it with his arms crossed.

“Not really… I mean, my mind heard you but not with words. I don’t know how to explain it, but your words were there.”

After that all of them went silent. 

Then, Feng Xin tried to stand up and needed help from Xie Lian. He had been still long enough and needed to stretch and catch up.

“Thank you, guys. You saved me.”

-

The days after his awakening, Feng Xin was very busy catching up, doing the full report of the incident to Ling Wen and recovering his training routine.

It wasn’t until a meeting that he had the chance to talk with his friends again.

“Hey, Nan Yang!”. Pei Ming called him before he could leave the place.

Feng Xin stopped and waited for the other general.

“How are you? Everything is fine after your long nap?”

Feng Xin laughed at that. - “What a nap, right? Yes, everything is fine.”

“Perfect! Then I hope we can catch up later”.

“Pei Ming.” Feng Xin called him, his tone serious. “Thanks for your help.”

Pei Ming didn’t say anything, only winked at him and walked away.

Feng Xin was going to leave too but when he headed to the door, he found Xie Lian and Mu Qing waiting for him.

He smiled at them and approached slowly but before he could say anything Mu Qing spoke. - “We need to talk.”

“Feng Xin, we want to ask you some things about the incident with the ghost.” Xie Lian explained softly.

Feng Xin was a little lost but anyway invited them to his palace. 

Unconsciously he led them to his garden. Usually, they met in one of the chambers inside the palace, but since he woke up again he spent more time there, he felt better in that place.

“My garden is missing a cherry tree.” He said as soon as they stepped in.

Mu Qing frowned and crossed his arms. - “I guess we can do something about it.”

Feng Xin smiled at that and invited them to sit at a nice and comfortable table. He asked some deputies to bring tea and some pastries, and only when they were alone, he talked again. 

“What do you want to talk to me about?”

“What did the ghost mean when it said that you wanted to disappear?” Xie Lian didn’t waste time, and he knew Feng Xin well, so it wasn't necessary to mull things over.

“I don’t know.” Feng Xin’s answer was direct and honest. “I’ve been thinking about it too and I can’t find an explanation.”

Mu Qing and Xie Lian looked at him seriously. 

“I don’t want to disappear, really. I didn’t have that thought when I faced the ghost and I don’t know why it said that”.

“Wait…” Mu Qing returned his tea to the table. “You just said that you didn’t have that thought when you faced the ghost, fine. But, what about at another time? Did you have that thought before? Maybe, that was enough for the ghost to attack you.”

“But the ghost wasn’t that strong…” Feng Xin’s mind was already working on what Mu Qing said.

“What if…” Xie Lian tried, doubtful. “Maybe you thought about the other thought and that’s why the ghost noticed. Like when, suddenly, you remember something from the past and that brings you some feelings. Those feelings can be of happiness or sadness, you just have them, but they are not present feelings.”

Feng Xin frowned and then…

“Fuck…” He sat deeper in his seat and looked away from his friends. “I… had a thought like that, before, when…”

All of them moved uncomfortably in their seats. “Before” meant when they were mortals, when they split away.

“When…” Feng Xin tried to continue but couldn't do it. He just gave a fast glance at Xie Lian and then avoided his look. 

“When I pushed you away?” Xie Lian asked with sadness in his voice.

Mu Qing moved in his seat. He felt a sudden need to run away but forced himself to stay. Whatever Feng Xin was going to say was important and all of them needed to hear it.

Feng Xin closed his eyes and nodded, as an answer for Xie Lian. He looked back at the horizon, not daring to look at their friends.

“After that… I walked and walked. I wanted to be away from that place that served as a home for all of us. So, I went to the opposite side. I wanted to be away from the city too. Jian Lan was there, and she didn’t want me either. So, I did what everybody wanted from me, I walked away.” His voice wasn’t harsh, not even sad. But it was soft. “I wanted to go as far as I could. I didn’t want to be remembered. I didn’t want to be recognized; I wanted to disappear.”

He looked back at his friends. Xie Lian was holding his teacup between his hands, looking at it intently. Mu Qing had his arms crossed and was looking at the floor.

“Guys… that was 800 years ago. Xie Lian…” He waited until Xie Lian looked at him. “It’s ok.”

“Is it?” Xie Lian tried to smile but he felt sad. 

“It is. It’s the past. I just told you. I don’t think like that now. I don’t want to disappear!”

“Then why did you think about it again?” Mu Qing sounded mad although that wasn’t his intention.

“I didn’t! Xie Lian just told us. It was a memory!”

“And why did that memory return? I thought you were working on your issues!” Mu Qing scolded him.

“The memory returned because I was thinking in my followers' sad prayers, and I am working in… wait! I don’t have issues, how dare you tell me that I have issues, haven’t you looked yourself in a mirror?”

“Are you saying I have issues? I’m not the one having an existential crisis every once in a while!”

“Oh, come on! You are lucky you didn’t face that ghost with your overthinking brain!”

Mu Qing didn’t have time to answer because Xie Lian laughed and basically jumped to hug Feng Xin. 

Feng Xin was taken aback. He was sitting, and as Xie Lian was standing, his head was on Xie Lian’s chest.

“We are fine, right?” Xie Lian asked softly.

“Of course we are fine! Really!” Feng Xin wanted to assure them that everything was fine.

“You know we care about you, right?” Xie Lian looked at him to make sure Feng Xin was listening.

“I know, Your Highness. I care about you too.”

Xie Lian looked at Mu Qing. “That’s for you too.”

“Hmmph, whatever. I’m not joining your group hug” He took his teacup again and drank, trying, and failing, to hide his blush.

They talked a little more and then each one headed to finish jobs they had pending.

- 

Next day, when Feng Xin arrived again at his garden, as a new routine he had acquired after waking up, he found something different there.

A little deep in the garden he saw something and at approaching he realized it was a small cherry tree, recently sown.