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Sabito was one of my foster kids I looked after. He came into the system around the same time as Tomioka-san. At the time, Tomioka had been struggling with accepting his sister’s death. I think Sabito became a pillar of support for him to lean on. They were close, always getting into trouble or hanging out.
——
“How long is it now?” Shinobu asked.
Sanemi hadn’t even noticed her walk in from behind, wearing a puffy coat with dragonflies printed along the collar and base.
The hospital monitor beeped, from where Tomioka lay, breathing tube and vitals taking up space alongside him on the bed.
“Four days,” Sanemi bit out, rubbing at his eyes, heavy with insomnia. “Four days of absolute fucking hell.”
Shinobu pursed her lips.
“I feel we could have done more,” she admitted hesitantly. “I heard about the Teoni suicide case from Aomori, but I never stopped to think…”
“It doesn’t matter if his best friend died or not. Your group should have treated him kinder from the start,” Kanae appeared behind her sister, mouth set. She hadn’t been happy when she learned the details. Though she’d never outright said it was their fault Tomioka had attempted, it didn’t take much to puzzle it out.
“That’s true,” Shinobu conceded.
She took a seat by Giyuu’s side, reaching her hand out to lace her fingers through his.
Kanae locked eyes with Sanemi, raising an eyebrow, and he grimaced, standing to follow her into the hall.
She looked beautiful, flower choker and long pinkish tan jacket accenting all her best features, flowery makeup perfectly done.
Sanemi felt his heart twist. “Is… everything good?”
Kanae sighed, pressing her fingers to her temple. “What do you think, ‘nemi? I’ve been doing awful.”
“I still love you,” Sanemi said, and he did mean it. He had already thought in his mind that if she accepted him back, he’d be able to make it work. He’d shut all thoughts of Tomioka out of his head. He’d settle for what was best for him, even if it wasn’t all of what he wanted.
Because he did want her. She was sweet, smart, and driven. The type of girl who you could last with.
Kanae let out a frustrated groan, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Nemi, but I’m not going to take you back. You cheated on me. You betrayed our trust. Even if I did, you’d still have feelings for him.”
“I could cut him out- go no contact,” Sanemi blurted, grasping at straws. Kanae gave him a meaningful look. “Don’t. You aren’t going to leave your friend while he’s in the hospital. You’re better than that, Nemi, and we both know it.” Readjusting the strap of her shoulderbag, she stepped forwards, pulling him into a quick hug. “I’ll call you this weekend, okay? For updates. Even if I’m not really happy with you right now, I still want good things for you, and Tomioka too.”
Sanemi sniffed, inhaling the flowery scent of her perfume, and missing her already. “Thanks,” he said meaningfully. Kanae gave a tight smile, before turning to head out.
Sighing, Sanemi turned back into the room.
——
Sabito always had a very strong moral compass. If the other kids were picking on the younger ones, or bullying others, he would get involved. The older they got, the more I think Sabito started to see some of the uglier parts of society. For someone like him, I think it was a sense of helplessness at how unfair things often were that drove him into a spiral.
——
Shinobu sighed, hearing the last of her sister’s conversation with Shinazugawa. She had known he’d cheated on her- but not that Tomioka had been the one he’d slept with. She didn’t know whether it made her angry.
It felt wrong to hold a grudge while he was still technically in a coma. Besides, he hadn’t been in a mentally sound place for a while.
“You better wake up soon, Tomioka,” Shinobu whispered, squeezing his fingers. “We’re waiting for you.”
Her new goal was going to be being there for him. She was going to be a better friend.
Whatever it took.
Standing up, she gave his hand one last squeeze turning to leave. Mitsuri had said she’d be stopping in tomorrow. Shinobu could get more information then.
She had to trust things would be alright.
——
“I hope you return to us soon, Tomioka.
We miss you greatly! Your energy always was a great presence, and, um, you have a strong heart and sensitive soul. We need more good people like you, and to lose you would be truly unjust. Your caretaker told us your history with, uh, Sabito-san. It reminded me of my care for my younger brother! I would be crushed if anything so deeply devastating were to befall him. I truly hope he is at peace now. More than that, though, I am deeply sorry we failed to support you, my friend. But I, um, hope our late efforts will not go in vain! …Wake up soon, Tomioka.”
——
One night he snuck out, and took his life by jumping off a small local cliff nearby. I found out the next morning. It broke my heart, but it shattered Giyuu. He started getting in fights at school, skipping classes… eventually he was expelled. I found out around that time that he’d begun self harming as well, and at that point, he ended up staying two months in a mental health clinic to help him get back on track. When things were through, he transferred to your school, I believe.
——
“Tomioka…
Look. If I’d known about Sabito, I’d never have asked you to get involved with the Kiyubi Gang. I’ve been writing a lot of music to really dig into how this has been making me roll, and I realised we’ve been super shitty to you.
That was… that was super unflashy of us. That’s why when you wake up - because I’m not letting you die, got it? - we’re going to take you out to ice cream and get you a big flashy sundae! And I’ll get my improv group to set up a flash mob! Shinobu says she thinks that sort of thing would overwhelm you, but I know better, don’t worry. I know you’ve got a hidden spark of color, and I will take personal responsibility in finding it and making it shine!
However you feel now, is how no friend of mine should ever feel. I promise I’ll make sure it stays that way.”
——
“Oh, Giyuu… please be back soon. I feel so bad all the time without you here to eat lunch with us. I packed extra Dango for you the other day for lunch but then you weren’t there and I was so sad I couldn’t eat it!
Back in eighth grade I couldn’t eat at all because of all the boys at school and I ended up in the hospital like you. I don’t want you to be like that. We all miss you so much…. please be back soon. I love you, okay? When you’re up, I’ll give you all the hugs and dango and cat stickers! In the whole world! Even my mochi!
….
Please just wake up first, promise?
We need you, Giyuu.”
——
I thought he was doing better, but I was wrong.
——
“… It was summertime.
We were staying in an apartment downtown. Rent was cheap, and we were living paycheck to paycheck anyways.
There was a loan shark down the street my parents knew. He had sharp teeth, but he had a gun when he broke in at night. Click… bang…. click… bang… click click bang bang! That’s the sound it made. It was so loud so he didn’t hear the quiet things.
….
Clunk.
That’s the sound it made when I hit him in the back of the head with the bat. It was all hollow and deep. It sounded like being hungry. We didn’t have much to eat all the time so we were hungry, like blood sniffing sharks.
The blood smelled like metal too, and I fell out of the window like Sabito off your cliff.
I wanted to say “bam” and hit the pavement and make that bloody too. So the sharks would feed and not be hungry, and my brother could wake up.
It was three stories and I hit a branch that made me live though.
….
I saw the spirit of a white birch tree.
…
Did you see her too?
Did you hear his voice?
If you speak clearly you can tell him to wake you up, I think….
It’s almost winter, though…”
——
“… they said I should see you. So I’m here.
Sorry.
I mean it.
I’ll say it again, when you wake up….
The weird old guy told us your story. I remember someone saying they might make a Netflix documentary on it. It made me sick. Imagine publicizing that kind of darkness… making a profit… recreating it for fun…
I couldn’t believe it.
They already shot a documentary in our town about another sick tragedy… there was a cult with a compound here, and they remade everything inside it. They took creative liberties. Imagine using an artistic license on a memory, repainting it so it’s more convenient.
They never knew Sabito, did they?
You did.
They hired a child to play the role of one of the cult’s targets… made a child pretend to be tortured and starved, to sit in wide eyed fear and play act a victim.
If they make their movie, they’ll take you out from Sabito’s story. They’ll never know if you existed, if you ever exist. At least if you stay alive, you can make them tell the truth.
That movie… was a load of horseshit…. all that fake blood… makes a mockery….
They didn’t even include the part where they cut the boys mouth open.
Wake up, Tomioka.”
——
“…
Where are you right now?
Is Sabito there?
I hope he is, if you really are gone.
I hope you’re happy. Please be happy.
I’m so fucking sorry, Giyuu.”
——
We all loved Sabito. But it was different for Tomioka and him-
Sabito loved him back.
——
Giyuu opened his eyes.
The warm fingers were back. Like they’d never left.
Wrapped around his.
Following him down, down, deeper and deeper.
The world swam, yet he was above water.
“Sabito?”
It smelled like flowers.
Lillies on the table in a vase.
Purple eyes in glassy focus.
“No…”Giyuu blinked.
“Sanemi.”
The warm fingers meant Sanemi.
Arms wrapped around him, tight, as Giyuu slowly felt his soul pulled to earth once again.
Sanemi sobbed, and said his name.
“Giyuu.”
Sabito’s voice.
Sanemi’s arms around him.
“Oh, Giyuu.”
Sabito’s voice.
Sanemi’s hands holding him steady.
“Fuck, Giyuu, I missed you.”
Sanemi’s ragged sobs.
…
Sanemi’s voice.
Shinobu’s gasp.
Mitsuri’s phone picking up.
Obanai’s yelling.
…
Giyuu closed his eyes and lived.